When it came time to Americanize the third episode of Man About the House, the writers took things in a completely different direction. Even the titles suggest the different moods, "Some Enchanted Evening" and "Cyrano de Tripper." Also, instead of converting the third episode into their third episode, they waited till the second season. So though the MatH episode aired 29 August 1973, the 3'sC equivalent was on Nov. 8th, 1977, some seven months after "And Mother Makes Four," with eleven episodes in between. (We'll get to those later.) It placed #5 in the ratings, although this was by no means the show's peak at that point.
The Evening Before the Enchanted Evening: Robin is watching a Southampton football match on the telly. Chrissy says he should support a London team now.
We briefly switch over to the Ropers, where Mildred is reading Harem Girl, which has a very racy cover, the woman practically topless. Mr. Roper is spying on Jo and her date gettting out of the car. The date shakes her hand. "Perhaps he's trying to find out if she's a Mason," Mrs. Roper suggests. Mr. Roper thinks the man should've "tried for a bit of a snog." Mrs. Roper tells him about her book, where Armina the slave girl is being "oiled by the eunuchs in readiness." Then she asks George, "Fancy an early night?" But he'd rather play Monopoly.
Back upstairs, Jo comes in and says her date, David, is "a real gentleman." Chrissy says, "Oh well, can't win them all." Jo says David took her dancing and he shook her hand.
Chrissy: Before or after?
Jo: No, instead of.
Chrissy is very surprised and thinks David must be "bent." Jo says he's just shy.
Jo stands in front of the television. Robin tells her she has "a delicious bottom" but he'd rather watch the match." So the girls go and talk in the kitchen.
Chrissy remembers a shy man she dated. "The first time, nothing. The second time, nothing. The third time it was like King Kong meets Godzilla."
Jo worries she's losing her sex appeal.
Chrissy: Is this the same girl who turned down a date with Tom Jones.
Jo: Well, I lied about that.
Chrissy: Well, I know, but it showed self-confidence.
Chrissy suggests they ask Robin. So Chrissy asks, "Robin, do you fancy me?" He says something like, "Not at the moment, we're two one down." Both girls ask if he thinks Jo is sexy. He says he lusts after her but he tells her to shut up.
Chrissy asks what turns Robin on. He likes being tickled on the back of the ear. She does so and he blisses out. Jo says, "That's the way you catch trout."
Jo says she doesn't want David to do anything, but he could at least try, to show interest. She wants Robin to help. At first he's reluctant, but then Jo says he's a Spur supporter. So Robin suggests dinner for two. But Jo can't cook, so Chrissy suggests Robin cook.
Fertilizer: Jack greets Janet, "How's my gorgeous little roommate today?" She wants him to repeat it, as fertilizer for the plant she's taking care of for Mrs. Roper.
Jack bought Chrissy the new Peter Frampton album. He and Janet talk about that and the leaky faucet in the kitchen. She goes downstairs to tell Mr. Roper about the faucet.
Chrissy comes home and doesn't care about Peter Frampton. She's having her boyfriend, Michael "The Gourmet" Winthrop, over for dinner. "Dinner?" Jack says. "You planning to send out?"
She once mixed spaghetti with sauce in the blender. He tells her how to prepare it. "See? You just taught me how to make pasghetti." She wants a few hints. He says cooking isn't hints, it's an art.
She begs. He reluctantly agrees. He asks when the guy's coming over. She says tonight.
Jack: Tonight? The only way you could cook dinner tonight is if I cooked it for you!
Chrissy: Oh, Jack, I knew I could count on you!
She gives him a big, lingering kiss. Janet comes back, followed by Mr. Roper. Jack pretends he's giving Chrissy mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. "Standing up?" Mr. Roper asks suspiciously. Jack gives an unconvincing explanation.
Macrame: When Mr. Roper returns home, he tells his wife, "I know a kiss when I see one." She says, "I didn't think you had that good a memory." She wants him to demonstrate.
He wonders about all the girls they've seen Jack with at the Regal Beagle. She says those girls were just pals.
Stanley: Why would a gay guy want to pal around with so many girls?
Helen: To see how the other half lives?
He refers to when Jack took out his niece. (Episode 3, which near as I can tell was not based on a MatH episode.) Jack must've tried something then. Helen says that Stanley has never understood that trying isn't doing.
He's worried that "Tinkerbell has stopped ringing."
Helen is doing a very '70s hobby, macrame, making "a holder for her pot." He says, "You're knitting yourself a girdle?" We learn that Mrs. Roper has invited Janet to dinner in thanks for taking care of the plant.
Cyrano: In the kitchen, Jack tells Janet that he's cooking his own goose. He's so jealous that he squeezes a tomato to bits with his hand, although he denies the jealousy. He claims he's just protective of the girls. Janet suggests he spoil the dinner. "And ruin my reputation as a chef?" She Steve-Martinically says, "Well, excuse me!" and exits.
Jack gives Chrissy instructions, but she wants him to stay in the kitchen. He refuses but she begs and he gives in.
Jack: From now on, just call me Cyrano de Tripper.
Chrissy: Huh?
Jack: I'm cooking to light another guy's fire.
In his anger, he almost chops off his fingers, then counts them to make sure he's OK.
The morning before some enchanted evening: Robin doesn't give in as easily as Jack. Jo might have to cook the one thing she can make. Chrissy says, "It just doesn't go-- candlelight, wine, and Marmite soldiers." Jo suggests they ask Robin again.
Robin is taking a bubble bath, visible from the chest up. Chrissy bursts in and he says they've got to get the lock fixed. (Maybe he should've been singing.) She tells him, "It's all right, I'm not after your rubber duck."
Robin: You think you've got me at a psychological disadvantage, don't you?
Chrissy: Yes.
He says he could get her out of the bathroom just by standing up.
Chrissy: Bluff.
Robin: Yes.
He asks her to pass him the loofah. She does but she threatens to pour rose-and-jasmine-scented perfume in the bath. He thinks she's bluffing.
Jo comes in. Robin offers to give her a couple cooking tips. That's not good enough, so Chrissy pours in some of the perfume. Robin agrees to cook, under protest. Jo asks what she should buy at the shops.
Chrissy goes to answer the door. It's Mrs. Roper, loaning them wine glasses and cutlery. They talk about the DeSoto (I think) Theatre, the cinema mentioned in the previous episode as showing War and Peace. Tonight, according to Mrs. Roper, it's "the sensitive story of the dawning relationship between a young girl and a simple farm lad. And how they keep having it away." Chrissy isn't interested.
Mrs. Roper invites her and Robin down, "come as you are." Chrissy says Robin's naked in the bath. "Oh, it will be an informal evening," Mrs. Roper says.
Chrissy goes to invite Robin, again bursting in. This time she startles him into knocking the rest of the perfume into the bath. She's very amused.
Gannet: In the kitchen that evening, Jo says it's a lovely smell, meaning Robin rather than the food. He's wearing an apron with a design of pink lace knickers and bra, which no one comments on. He says re David, "What is he, a gourmet or a gannet?"
When Chrissy comes in, Robin complains of Jo, "She knows absolutely nothing about gastronomy." Jo retorts, "Oh, yes, I do. I'm a Capricorn."
When both girls tease him about the feminine scent, he says he had three baths trying to get rid of it. Chrissy says she offered to help. He replies that he didn't want to be rubbed down by a pan scrubber.
He tells the girls to leave him alone to cook, so they go in the lounge. Chrissy sorted through the records and has lined up Burt Bacharach to get David in the mood, Michel Legrand ("The Windmills of Your Mind") "to take it a stage further." And a brass band to keep David from taking it further than that.
Jo wonders if she should turn the lights down. Chrissy advises, "Let the dog see the rabbit." Jo says it's just a cosy dinner for two. "I'm not on the menu for afters."
Robin says to tell David all the food is fresh. Escorting him out, Chrissy says, "And we made the tables and chairs ourselves."
Cocoa tin labels: In the downstairs hallway, Robin says he'd rather go to the pictures, but the Ropers get lonely and they owe them young company. Chrissy says, "You mean we owe them a month's rent." (Already? Or did they not catch up yet after Robin helped them pay last month's rent?)
Chrissy says Mr. Roper's hobby is that he collects cocoa tin labels, but this turns out to be her taking the mickey, as we learn when Robin brings it up, trying to break the awkward silence. They also talk about the budgie.
When Mr. Roper realises that the pretty scent is Robin, he backs away, but he's less homophobic than the American Mr. Roper on this episode. He now suggests they all play Monopoly.
We briefly switch back upstairs, where David is ringing the doorbell. Jo turns down the lights before answering the door. David comes in and thinks they've blown a fuse. A brass band plays.
Wool: Downstairs, the Ropers, Chrissy, and Robin are playing with a French Monopoly set. The Ropers bought it on their honeymoon. Mr. Roper says, "It was something to pass the time." His wife says, "As far as I can recall, you never passed Go the entire fortnight."
Mr. Roper tries to buy Community Chest, and apparently he's put hotels on it in the past. Chrissy makes him take a card. It's a French Go to Jail card, but he pretends he's got second prize in a beauty contest.
Mrs. Roper says they also went to Dunkirk on their honeymoon. "He's been on the retreat ever since." He tells the kids, "She's got a big mouth, she has. You could get both hands in there and still have room to wind wool."
It turns out they know David. His father owns Bloomsteins' woolens. Robin realises David is Jewish.
And upstairs Jo is serving him bacon pâté and roast pork. He says, "Oy vey," when she leaves to answer the phone.
As Robin waits for Jo to pick up, Chrissy tells him, "It could've been worse. You could've given him pigs' trotters and custard for afters."
Jo says he's eating the food, since she's seen him with a clear plate. Robin is relieved. Chrissy asks if he's made a pass yet. Jo gets annoyed by their interference.
Mr. Roper starts to lose Monopoly and calls it a "stupid foreign game." Robin and Chrissy excuse themselves. Out in the hallway, Chrissy says she hasn't had so much fun since she had the mumps. It turns out that Mr. Roper was cheating, with a railway station up his sleeve.
Introduce the dressing: Not only does the American episode take a completely different route, but the rhythm of it is different. It's only nine minutes into the show before we get to Chrissy serving Michael dinner, and it's much more drawn out. He's enjoying "her" cooking, saying it came straight from Heaven. He tries the salad and sighs orgasmically. She sighs, too. Jack, listening at the kitchen door, grins and does a fist-pump of victory.
Michael: Tell me. How did you introduce the dressing?
Chrissy: I just said, Salad, meet the dressing. Dressing, meet the salad.
He's amused but wants the real answer. She runs into the kitchen. Jack teases, "Dressing, meet the salad. 'Hi there, salad. You look a little limp.' 'Hi there, Dressing. Am I glad to see you! Cover me quick, I'm naked!' "
Chrissy is very upset. Jack lists the ingredients for her, and she's so busy concentrating that when Michael compliments her perfume, she says it's "wine, vinegar."
When, after another kitchen consultation, Chrissy tells Michael she used both a rice pan and a double boiler, he says that was a trifle wasteful.
Michael: But it's a common mistake, and a lot of beginners tend to fall into that group.
Jack: (storming out of the kitchen) Beginner? Who you callin' a beginner?
He breaks an egg in Michael's hand and puns, "The yolk's on him." Chrissy is practically in tears. Michael's washes his hand in the bathroom.
Chrissy: Of all the mean, egotistical creeps!
Jack: Yeah, I don't like him either.
Chrissy: I am talking about you!
She thinks Jack deliberately ruined her evening. He starts to feel guilty.
Chrissy: Michael, this is Jack Tripper. He's--
Jack: Hi.
Michael: I thought you must be.
Chrissy explains and apologizes.
Michael: I can't accept your apology.
Jack: What kind of fink is he?
Michael: There's no need to apologize. The point is, you did all this for me and I'm very flattered.
Jack: He's quite a nice fink.
He says goodbye to Jack. After a bit, Chrissy admits he lives there, so Michael is going to escort her home.
Chrissy: I live here, too.
Michael: With Jack?
Jack: Oh, it's all right. the three of us lead our own lives.
Michael: Oh, good. The three of you? (to Chrissy) You and two guys?
Jack; No, me and two girls.
Michael: (suggestively) And you still find time to cook? (Jack laughs heartily.)
Chrissy: (indignantly) It's strictly platonic! Oh, I knew you wouldn't understand.
Michael: But I do understand. The platonic principle has always intrigued me. And incidentally, I found Greece fascinating.
Chrissy: Grease? We tried to get tickets to that show, but it was all sold out.
Michael laughs and kisses Chrissy. But he wants to go on with the dinner. He gives Jack feedback on it. When he says there was maybe a bit too much sugar, they have an argument, backing their sides up with the opinions of famous chefs. Michael wins since he spoke to Ramon Olivier (sp?). They stuffed chickens together. Michael will now demonstrate how Ramon O. sautees onions. Chrissy pouts as the two men go into the kitchen.
Some of the people all of the time: While we got a substantial amount of Robin and Chrissy visiting the Ropers, we only get this one scene of Janet's visit to her Ropers. However, it does include one of the more memorable misunderstandings of the show. While Mrs. Roper is out of the room, Mr. Roper voices his suspicions about the kiss he saw.
Stanley: Aw, come on, we both know what Jack and Chrissy are doing up there right now.
Janet: Oh, did Chrissy tell you?
Stanley: Of course not. But I have my ways. I mean, like the Good Book says, Jack can fool some fo the people all of the time and he don't fool me none of the time. And I don't like it!
Janet: Oh, well, listen, neither does Jack.
Stanley: What?
Janet: No, he's not enjoying what he's doing.
Stanley: Then why's he doing it?
Janet: Chrissy talked him into it.
Stanley: Chrissy? Why?
Janet: Why not? I mean, he lives there, and he can do that job.
Stanley: You know, I don't understand you kids. You talk like she's only ordering a Big Mac.
Janet: Boy, I wish it were that simple. I mean, you don't realize the problems Jack has. It is a miracle he can get anything done.
Stanley: Huh?
Janet: With Chrissy's date up there.
Stanley: Huh?
Janet: Yeah, he has to do it hiding in the kitchen.
Stanley: The kitchen? Wait a minute, wait. You mean there are three of them up there? (Janet nods.) Where do you fit into this?
Janet: Nowhere thank goodness.
Stanley: You're a good girl.
Janet: Thanks. But I'll tell you, I'd have loved to have stayed and watched.
Stanley: Watched?!?
Janet: Yeah, but it would've made Jack too nervous.
He frantically calls to Helen. When she comes in, he says, "You know I let that kid move up there 'cause he said he was gay? But after what I saw this morning and after what I heard just now, I know better." Janet says that all she said was he's up there cooking dinner for Chrissy and her date. Mr. Roper is still dubious. And then a girl comes by, looking for Jack, who loaned her sweater on the beach last night. Mr. Roper is outraged. He once again wants to "throw Jack out on his ear."
No friend of mine: Chrissy is sulking on the couch when the Ropers and Janet come upstairs. He says he's looking for her friend Jack. She says, "Jack is no friend of mine....What he did was unforgivable, Janet!
Stanley: It's worse than I thought. What did he do?
Chrissy: He stole my date!
Janet and Helen: What???
Chrissy: Well, see for yourself.
Everyone goes into the kitchen, where Jack and Michael are swapping cooking tips. Mr. Roper smiles, relieved. Mrs. Roper has Stanley apologize to Jack.
Jack: Oh, that's OK. What did you do?
Stanley: Me? Nothing. I just thought I saw something that wasn't normal because it was normal. But now I can see it ain't normal, so everything's back to normal again.
Jack is understandably confused.
Mrs. Roper says Jack can go on living there as long as he likes. Mr. Roper teases, "Unless you and your friend here would like a place of your own."
Dessert: When Robin and Chrissy return to their flat, David is gone.
Chrissy: How did it go, did you have a wrestling match?
Jo: Yes.
Chrissy: And?
Jo: He got away.
Robin finds that David hid the food in the overhead lamp.
It's not till the next morning that we find out how it went with Michael. Chrissy says he was a creep. After Jack and Janet went to the Regal Beagle, Michael turned down the lights, put on soft music, and said he was ready for dessert. But he meant the chocolate mousse.
Commentary: This is a Jo-plot that becomes an Amer-Chrissy plot. Along the way, the date expands and we lose most of the visit to the Ropers'. Also, Robin, despite his finding Jo's bottom delicious, doesn't seem to have strong feelings about her, while Jack is well-established as lusting after Chrissy. Hence, the jealousy angle, with him very farcically hiding in the kitchen. Robin takes more convincing, even though less is asked of him, and he seems more casual about giving cooking tips. Brit-Chrissy takes a more active role in the convincing than does Janet, who only wants to watch.
The main notable difference in this episode is the bathtub sequence. You would never have gotten a scene like that past the late '70s American censors. Yes, we don't see anything, but the girls casually have a conversation with Robin while he's naked.
The whole maybe-the-boyfriend-is-gay thing is handled differently on the two shows. There's no real suggestion that David is gay, other than his shyness, while there definitely is an undercurrent with Michael (not just from Mr. Roper's viewpoint). Would it have worked for Michael to be Jewish? I don't think they could've done as much with it, and indeed MatH doesn't linger on it. I like that Michael is presented as an intellectual, in contrast to pop-culturish Chrissy. We get to know him much better than David. On the other hand, we do lose the whole French Monopoly thing.
If I recall correctly, there is a joke somewhere on 3'sC about the Ropers playing Monopoly on their honeymoon. Jack gets his version of Robin's apron on an early episode. As for Amer-Chrissy worrying that she's lost her sex appeal, stay tuned for the next pair of episodes....
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