The last episode of the third series of MatH is not bad but it's not terribly memorable either. The "poker" episode of 3'sC offers bad puns ("Poker-hontas") and a strip element. This episode, "Three of a Kind," is milder. It aired on 20 November 1974.
Derek: We start with an aerial shot of Robin and two of his mates playing poker. We know Larry of course. The new fellow, with the sandy hair, moustache, and beard, is called Derek. The actor, Jeremy Bulloch, was born in '45 and has credits spanning over 50 years, the most notable being seven episodes of Dr. Who, in '65, '73, and '74.
Robin is winning the game, and failing to be modest about it.
Larry tells a dirty joke about three old ladies and a well-built burglar. The girls come in before he finishes. Robin tries to signal to him. When Larry sees the girls, he says he forgot the ending. Jo says she heard the joke on Stars on Sunday (a music program then in the middle of its decade-long run).
The girls notice how smoky the room is. Chrissy says they should hang a goverment health warning on the door. As Chrissy tidies up, Jo sprays a pine-scented air freshener.
Robin's throat is bad. He's been treating it with fags, beers, crisps, and peanuts. Derek wants to examine it. He'll be a fully fledged doctor in a year. Everyone peers down Robin's throat. Derek says Robin's tonsils will have to come out. Chrissy asks if she should go get the bread knife.
Toby jug: Downstairs, George is figuring out whom to bet on in a football match. He and Mildred argue about the money in her toby jug. ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jug_(container)#Toby_Jug ) She's saving up for a new winter coat.
Back upstairs, the two guests leave. The girls think Robin's throat is getting worse. He says he's fine, and don't argue with an invalid.
Dr. McLeod: Robin gives in to his friends' pressure, and the next scene is set in a doctor's office. In a rare continuity error, Derek introduces Robin to Dr. McLeod, even though this doctor was treating Robin on "Match of the Day." Duncan Lamont, by the way, was also doing Dr. Who in '74.
Robin says he doesn't believe in doctors. McLeod assures him that they exist. He asks if Robin has a temperature. Robin says, "Everyone has, haven't they?"
McLeod is annoyed by Derek's kibitzing, but Derek's diagnosis is correct. Robin has tonsillitis. Derek has already arranged for Dr. Berkeley-Jones to operate, and he's reserved a bed for Robin. Dr. McLeod says maybe he's misjudged Derek, who'd make a good consultant.
Idiot: At the trio's flat later, Mr. Roper is again fixing the kitchen taps, badly. Chrissy goes in the lounge and says Roper's an idiot. Jo agrees.
Robin enters and says he's going to the hospital tomorrow. He's nervous, so Jo says she had her tonsils out. It left a scar. She points to her waist.
Chrissy says at least they're not snipping out bits that are useful. Robin says all of his bits are useful.
Mr. Roper comes in and tells a story from the war, about one of his mates who had his tonsils out and died, but from a buzz bomb. After he leaves, Robin calls him an idiot.
One reason Robin is nervous is that he's heard of hospital mix-ups, like a man going in for ingrown toenails but having a baby. Chrissy says it's the easiest operation there is, but she keeps putting her foot in her mouth.
Robin says that the last time he was in hospital, they held him up by the ankles and spanked his bottom. We assume he means when he was born, although you never know.
The three of them have gone into the kitchen, so Chrissy says that the operation is as easy as putting a washer on a tap. So when she turns on the water, it shoots out at her. Robin lightly embraces Jo as they laugh.
Headstone: The next morning, Chrissy stops Robin from eating since he's going to have an operation. He talks about dying, so she asks him why he always dramatises. He hands her a box with his insurance policies and all his savings. Trying to look sombre, she says, "I've already ordered the headstone."
When Robin leaves, apparently either catching the bus to the hospital or going on foot, Jo says they'll see him on Tuesday. After he goes, Chrissy says the next few days aren't going to be pleasant.
Jo: For him?
Chrissy: For me, 'cause you're gonna be doing the cooking.
72: In the hospital, a young nurse takes Robin's pulse, 72. He gets it mixed up with his temperature. And then when Derek comes in, he does the same. She's not impressed with him, and after she leaves, he says that they (nurses) won't speak to you when you're a student, but "the minute you qualify, they have the trousers off you."
He tells Robin that Dr. Berkeley-Jones is a good doctor who hardly drinks at all anymore, at least not during surgery. He doesn't sound like he's joking. And he thinks that Robin ruined this afternoon's poker session.
The girls come in and Jo calls Derek doctor before recognising him. Robin says Derek isn't a doctor because he still has his trousers on.
After Derek leaves, Robin says Derek is in a bad mood because of the poker game. He jokes about Chrissy running the game. She doesn't think it's funny. He says poker is a man's game. She says that in Moscow the women sweep snow and dig ditches. If men can play poker, so can women.
Robin admits that there are certain things women are good at.
Chrissy: Yeah, bearing children, cooking, and washing up.
Robin: No, you missed out on the one I was thinking of.
She says she'll bet his money in the box, since it's only his poker winnings. He asks if she can play poker. She says, "What a daft question!"
Ashtray: Back at the flat, Chrissy is trying to memorise poker hands from The Illustrated Book of Card Games. Jo thinks Chrissy should've told Robin she can't play. Chrissy says she wouldn't give him the satisfaction. She sticks a note to the bottom of the ashtray. (It goes right on without tape, so perhaps she's invented the post-it note.)
She lets in Larry, who's wearing his Oxford sweatshirt. She says he was supposed to be there by 3.30. He says next time he'll bring a note.
Jo puts a floral arrangement on the card table. And she's going to be serving cucumber sandwiches and barley water.
We briefly switch to the entryway, where Derek comes in and accidentally bumps into Mr. Roper. George tells him that Robin is in hospital. Derek says, "Larry and I are carrying on with Chrissy," but he means poker. George is intrigued by the possibility of gambling.
Derek goes into the trio's flat. He says Robin is worried, but about his money, rather than the surgery.
We find out that Jo is also serving fairy cakes, smaller versions of cupcakes. She encourages the others to use napkins. Larry has her move the flowers, since that's where the pot goes, as in kitty.
Chrissy thinks 10p a bet is too much. They'll do 1p. She says they're here for a social afternoon, not to win money off each other.
She consults the ashtray to see how to play. Larry gets suspicious but lets it go.
No limit: Downstairs, George listens to the match on the radio. They lose. Mildred says he's gambling mad.
He sneaks the money out of her toby jar and goes upstairs, allegedly to work on the water tap.
Larry has won the last three hands, winning a grand total of 8p. Mr. Roper comes in, looking gleeful. He invites himself to play, but when he hears the limit, he says that he'll look at the water tap. The men offer to help.
Chrissy reluctantly offers to make the limit 2p. Larry says there's no limit. She's unhappy about that.
Mr. Roper moves the ashtray. When Chrissy objects, he says he didn't know she smoked. She says she doesn't, but she likes to keep it handy in case she starts.
Bluffing: Back in the hospital, the nurse rolls in a phone on a cart. Robin is about to get an injection, but he takes the call. Chrissy asks about poker. She admits she lied. It's down to her and Mr. Roper. Robin asks if Mr. Roper is bluffing. "I don't know, I'll ask him." He stops her.
She tells him her not very impressive hand as the nurse gives him an injection in the bum. (He's facing us and partially covered by the sheet.) He tells Chrissy she has an unbeatable hand. After he hangs up, the nurse, suddenly sounding very Scottish, says, "I wouldn't have the nerve to tell a great big whopper like that just before I went into the operating theatre."
The actress playing her, Louisa Martin, in 1971 had a recurring role on Emmerdale Farm, a program that's still running to this day, although shortened to Emmerdale. A couple decades after this episode, she had a recurring role on Avonlea.
Chrissy has Jo get the rentbook. She bets Mr. Roper's five pounds plus another ten. She smiles. He gives in.
Then Derek sees her poker hand. Larry is amused that she was bluffing. She's mad with Robin for lying to her.
But this is nothing to the fury of Mrs. Roper when she shows up in the doorway.
Accident: In the closing scene, Mrs. Roper checks on Robin in hospital. She and George had to go to outpatients. He had a little accident. An empty toby jug fell on his head. Robin is sympathetic until George comes in with a huge bandage on his forehead. Robin and Mildred laugh, he especially, so much it looks like the actors are breaking character.
Commentary: When money is involved in the Battle of the Sexes, the results can get ugly. Not only do we have Mrs. Roper hitting her husband with a toby jug, but Chrissy is prepared to gamble away the rent money, just to prove she can play poker as well as a man. And Jo doesn't even try to stop her.
Jo in the last section of the episode ends up in the role of hostess, with all the feminine touches like flowers and cucumber sandwiches. It's ironic that when Chrissy lists off stereotypical things that women are supposed to be good at, she mentions cooking, even though she's just complained about Jo's cooking. (I don't know why Chrissy never cooks. Perhaps she's even worse.) Hopefully the fairy cakes are store-bought.
I like that the nurse is played for neither stereotype of "hot nurse" nor "cold nurse." She's just a woman doing her job.
This episode offers an example of Larry trying to behave himself around Chrissy and Jo, not finishing his dirty joke, which they already heard on television anyway.
Looking back on the third series, I think it starts out well but becomes weaker. The addition of Larry as a tenant is good, but the last few plots are less interesting. I'm curious to see what happens in the fourth series, but first there will be a cinematic interlude.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
"We Shall Not Be Moved"
The nineteenth episode of MatH doesn't have an American counterpart, although this plot certainly would've worked for 3'sC, considering the number of times Stanley Roper threatens eviction. "We Shall Not Be Moved" aired on 13 November 1974.
The male mind revisited: The episode opens in the kitchen, as Jo is cooking something we never see or hear about, and the other two are playing chess.
Robin: Now, don't misunderstand me, Chrissy. I mean, I like girls. You know, they're my favourite opposite sex. I'm just saying that they are different from men.
Chrissy: Yes, helpless, feather-brained sex objects.
Jo: Leave me out of it.
He says it's been proved scientifically that the woman's brain is lighter than the man's. Chrissy says perhaps it gets more exercise.
He asks where are your female mathematicians, philosophers, or writers. Wikipedia lists quite a few each of mathematicians and philosophers, but Chrissy decides to answer the last part of his question, probably because there are more household names. She mentions the Bronte sisters, Elizabeth Barrett Browning, and Jane Austen. So he adds in children's author Enid Blyton. He says women write lightweight stuff. "Where's your Gulag Archipelago?" ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gulag_Archipelago ). Jo says it's at the base of the spine.
Robin says chess is the ultimate example. The male mind can cope with it, because it's pure applied logic. Chrissy points out that he's put his queen where the king should be. He says he was just testing her.
The doorbell rings and Jo lets in Mrs. Roper, who says she's on the scrounge. She wants to borrow their suitcase. She's going to visit her sister in Purley, which is in the south of London. She's looking forward to it, especially since George isn't going.
Her sister has a swimming pool, kidney-shaped since the brother-in-law is in the meat trade. Robin says it's lucky the man doesn't doctor cats for a living. (We'd say "fix" them.) Mrs. Roper has tried to persuade her husband to go in the pool, knowing he can't swim.
Jo brings out a suitcase, saying they only have two, their best and a tatty one. Of course Mrs. Roper thinks this one is tatty, when it's their best.
After Mrs. Roper leaves, Jo tells Robin not to worry about the chess game. "You'll get that piece back when you change ends at half-time."
Ethel: When we switch to downstairs, we see that Mrs. Roper's leopard-print slacks have a matching jacket. She's packing.
George can't stand her sister Ethel or nameless brother-in-law, the latter a show-off, like her brother in "While the Cat's Away." This brother-in-law has a wine cellar.
Mildred sits down and complains about the spring in the settee.
Her taxi shows up. She asks George if he'll miss her.
George: I'll miss you as much as you'll miss me.
Mildred: I see.
She says she'll be back in a week. He reluctantly kisses her goodbye, then wipes his mouth.
As soon as she goes out the front door, he takes out a folded piece of paper and laughs mischievously.
Waugh: Robin moves the chess game into the lounge since the light is better there. Chrissy is winning. She takes his queen. He says the bright light is giving him a headache.
The doorbell rings. As Robin goes to answer it, Jo comes up with "another famous woman writer, Evelyn Waugh."
Mr. Roper comes in but takes awhile to get to the point. He takes out the folded paper, which turns out to be their lease that expired three weeks ago. Robin thinks Mr. Roper wants to raise the rent, but Mr. Roper wants to evict them. It won't be immediately. The end of the week will do.
Jerry: The next scene introduces George's friend, Jerry, who'll be making two more appearances on MatH, plus a few on George & Mildred. He's played by Roy Kinnear, who not only did a load of British television, including That Was the Week That Was and The Avengers, but some film roles as well, most memorably as Veruca Salt's father in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. Jerry isn't exactly a pleasant fellow, but it's delightful to see Roy Kinnear.
Jerry tells George that he's doing the right thing. Using George's beer, Jerry draws the trio's flat on the table, not to scale. He shows George how they can make five self-contained dwelling units, for 15 quid a week each. Bill the bartender (uncredited) wipes the table down.
George doesn't know how Mildred will take it, although we can guess. Jerry says by the time she gets back, "they're out, we're in, fate accomplished."
George invites him over. He found out where Mildred hid the Scotch.
Twit: Chrissy is on the phone. After she hangs up, she says that the Citizens' Advice Bureau said that Mr. Roper has to give them three months' notice in writing. "And even then, he has to apply for a possession order. And even then, we can appeal to the rent tribunal."
They wonder who should tell Mr. Roper. Jo volunteers, but Robin dismisses her. She says, "You've got me marked down as a twit, haven't you?" When he includes her, she says she can't because she'll never remember it all. Chrissy says she'll do it, but not on her own.
Emotional blackmail: George tells Jerry he found the Scotch in the drawer with his clean underpants. Mildred obviously reckoned he wouldn't change while she was away. (For a week?) Jerry calls her a cunning cow.
George says she doesn't scare him, he wears the pants in the house. Jerry jokes, "And the underwear."
Jerry says he has half of his workforce standing by, although that turns out to be only one man. George asks about the furniture. Jerry says it's very nice, except for the spring sticking up his backside. George means the furniture upstairs. Jerry says he has a couple fellows who can put it in storage.
The kids come by to have a word. George introduces his friend, saying, "He's, er, Jerry." Robin hears this as "He's a Jerry," probably because Mr. Roper is established as hating Germans. Robin tells Jerry, "Welcome to Britain."
Robin and Chrissy don't know how to put it. Then Jo calmly says, "Well, you can't evict us without three months' notice in writing, which we can challenge, requiring you to apply for a possession order. Then we can appeal to the rent tribunal."
Jerry makes up a story about Mr. Roper needing the flat for his mother. She's dying and wants to spend her last days with her only son. Unless George has seven sisters, that part is a lie, too.
Robin says the flat is rather large for one old lady, but Jerry says there will be a full-time nurse. He claims George didn't tell them because that would've been emotional blackmail.
They give in and leave. George tells Jerry his mother has been dead for eleven years.
Wombles: Chrissy is on the phone again, this time ringing up places for rent, as Robin and Jo check the newspaper. Jo sees one out of their league, a three-bedroom flat for 45 pounds a week. It's in Wimbledon Common, so Robin says it's expensive because of all those Wombles spotters. ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wombles )
Jo finds something else interesting after Chrissy is off the phone.
Jo: "Not a day for speaking your mind. Those close to you may become impatient."
Robin: Stop reading your horoscope!
Robin is going to ring up about a flat for three people to share. It's only twice as much as they can afford. But when he gets the landlady on the phone, she asks if he's suntanned and if he has frizzy hair.
Chrissy: She wants to know if you're coloured, and she's not allowed to ask.
Robin: (with an exaggerated "black" accent) Well, hush my mouth, Soul Sister! I's a whitey, sho nuff, and no cotton-- She's hung up.
Filing cabinet: We get a transition of a view of the rental ads with a few circled, as inappropriately cheerful music plays.
Then we're in a rental office, where the young agent is played by Derek Seaton, who was one of the policemen on "It's Only Money." Robin and Chrissy tell him that they want something suitable for three to share. Seeing only two of them, he asks, "Are you pregnant?" Neither of them is, but the third flatmate is using her lunch hour to eat. They're taking turns.
They can afford eight pounds each at most.
The phone rings and as the agent answers, he tells Robin to have a look in the filing cabinet. Robin tells Chrissy he doesn't think it'll be big enough for the three of them. She laughs.
The agent writes down one promising prospect, two bedrooms for twelve a week.
After he hangs up, Robin says there are only two flats listed. The agent says actually there's only one now. It's a one-bedroom flat. Robin considers it but Chrissy gives him a dubious yet amused look.
She asks about the phone call, but the agent wants it himself. That's the reason he took this job. It's the only way to find a decent flat in London.
Tears of joy: We get another shot of rental ads, this time with ads both circled and crossed out.
Then we see the girls at the pub. Jo sees a listing for a cheap houseboat in Camden, probably cheap because there's no river in Camden.
Robin comes back from visiting a flat in Fulham. He and a girl went to ring the bell at the same time. They laughed together, and while he was still laughing, she nipped in and got the flat.
He says that legally Roper can't kick them out. Jerry is in the pub and he overhears this, spilling his drink. He comes over and says that Roper told his mother yesterday. She cried tears of joy. Robin knows he won't say anything to Roper.
It's fun to stay at the Y...: Later, the trio are packing up. Chrissy says, "Three years and this is all I've got to show for it." This means that she must've moved into the flat in '71 (or very late in '70).
Robin says she also has a heart full of memories, golden moments of friendship to look back on, some smiles, and some tears. Then he says he thought a bit of gooey sentimentality might help. She tells him to shut up.
Mr. Roper comes in and asks when they're leaving. Not till 3.
Robin is going back to the YMCA, while Chrissy's going to the YWCA. Robin says, "We tried to swap but they wouldn't let us." Jo is going to stay with a girlfriend, even though I don't think we've met any of her female friends besides Chrissy.
The trio got George's mother flowers as a welcoming gift. They wonder when she'll be getting there. He says he doesn't know, since he's not sure which direction she's coming from, implying he doesn't know if she went to Heaven or Hell.
After Mr. Roper leaves, Chrissy says that they never finished the chess game and it's been a week. Robin says there's no point in rushing.
Six rather than five: At the pub, George tells Jerry that when he saw the flowers, he began to feel he was doing something mean. (I think he means cruel rather than cheap, although both are applicable here.) Jerry is unswayed. He again uses George's beer to draw the flat, this time making six dwelling units. Granted, none of them could get to the bog (bathroom). Bill again wipes away the drawing.
Jerry again mentions that he has a couple fellows to move the trio's furniture, which leads us to the next scene.
Removal men: The two fellows show up in the entryway. One of the actors, Michael Redfern, will go on to both Robin's Nest and George & Mildred, as well as The Young Ones and Eastenders, while the other, Ian Sharp, will return to MatH as Tom. At this point, I can't tell you which is which, and it doesn't really matter for this episode.
They know they need to see a Mr. Roper, so when Robin runs downstairs, they think that's him. Before he leaves, he tells them they need to see the man in the ground-floor flat. They look in and say they'll soon have this stuff out.
Robin and Rodin: Robin and Chrissy are playing chess again. He's got his head on his fist. She says he looks just like that statue The Thinker, except that he's not stark-naked. Robin says that can be arranged, since it's half an hour till the van's due.
Jo brings them tea. She suggests moving the man with the pointed hat. Robin says they'll soon be going their separate ways. She knows he's leading up to an insult. He tells her to mind her own business.
Jo leaves to take down the rentbook. Chrissy says Robin's right, they are going their separate ways. They may never see each other again. He asks why he should want to see a girl who thrashes him at chess.
Little bugger: Jo knocks on the Ropers' door. Mrs. Roper comes in the front door. She's again in the leopard-print outfit. She tells Jo she's wasting her time because George is probably down at the pub. Jo says she came down to give them the rentbook and say goodbye.
Back upstairs, Chrissy wants Robin to not move a piece to a particular spot. He says he hates girls that patronise him.
Chrissy: More or less than girls who beat you at chess?
Robin: The same.
Jo and Mrs. Roper come in. Mildred says it's a good thing she took the early train. She looks around at the packed-up flat and asks, "What's the little bugger been up to now?"
Jerry-built: George comes in the front door and sees the suitcase. He calls to his wife. He goes in the flat. We don't see it, just his stunned reaction as he says, "Oh my God!"
Back upstairs, Mildred says that George's mother has been dead for 11 years. Far too forgiving, Jo says, "Perhaps he's forgotten."
Mildred says that George has been on about this for months, wanting to split the flat up and get more rent. "And he waits till I go away."
George peeks in the open door. She says she knows he's there. She can smell the fear.
He says it was Jerry's idea. She says his friend is the one who thought up the phrase "jerry-built." ("Jerry-rigged" is the equivalent American phrase.)
She tells the trio that if anyone's leaving, it'll be George. She says they'll go down to their flat to discuss it in private. He'd rather stay upstairs, but she insists.
Chrissy says, "So much for male superiority." Robin says, "Aw, who cares? It means we're staying." He hugs her and lifts her off the ground, which is quite a trick considering they're about the same height. She tells him, "Put me down, you don't know where I've been."
They go back to the chess game. Jo still thinks Robin should move the one with the pointed hat. He's so happy to be staying that he humours her. She says now that gives him checkmate. He gives her a little kiss, not really paying attention to the game, but Chrissy says, "Oh, she's right. You've won."
Robin says it was obvious from the start. "I mean, the male mind--" Chrissy throws a pillow at him.
Nothing: George doesn't want Mildred to go into their flat. She tells him to get out of her way. He suggests they discuss the matter out in the entryway, or they could go for a walk. She asks, "What's in there?" He says, "Nothing." He turns out to be telling the literal truth. All that's left is the birdcage and some newspapers on the floor.
He says the furniture is only in storage, but she wants to get fancy new furniture like her sister's.
Commentary: "I Shall Not Be Moved" was originally a folk song. In the 1930s, it got pluralized for use as a protest song. It says in part, "Just like a tree that's standing by the water/ I shall not be moved." The trio are not that determined/stubborn. As soon as they hear that their flat is going to Mr. Roper's mother, they decide not to fight, even though they have the legal right to do so.
Perhaps more than any other episode so far, this episode is about the Battle of the Sexes. You of course have the Ropers, with deservedly hen-pecked George. He claims he wears the pants, but he's enough scared of his wife to wait till she's gone before he evicts the tenants. She probably won't physically hurt him, although she wouldn't mind if he drowned.
Chrissy and Robin's chess game runs throughout, even though a week passes. Significantly, he puts his queen where his king should be, symbol of the upheaval of sex roles in the 1970s. He knows Chrissy is at least as smart as he is, but he likes pontificating on the male mind. Even when he goes to look at a property, he's outsmarted by a girl who grabs the flat while he's still laughing.
And then there's Jo. The dumb-blonding of her character is not as dramatic as with Amer-Chrissy, but she does seem to be getting dimmer, and there are more lines about it, from her as well as her flatmates. However, she is bright enough to remember the laws about eviction, as well as to figure out how to play chess without knowing what the pieces are called. She's at least smarter than Jerry, who leads George astray and doesn't know how to say "fait accompli."
The other form of prejudice addressed in this episode is racial. "We Shall Not Be Moved" was adopted by the Civil Rights movement in the 1960s, although never as well known as "We Shall Overcome." Robin is used to Mr. Roper's prejudice against the Germans, so he just assumes it even when it's not the case. But when faced with a bigoted potential landlady, he responds by acting like a stereotypical "coloured" man. Of course, Robin makes bigoted jokes himself (like the one about eating missionaries last week), but I think he's more politically incorrect than hateful.
One last note. So much has changed in the past year that Robin and Chrissy only joke about their possible separation forever, rather than get genuinely sentimental. On "Carry Me Back to Old Southampton," they did both. There's still RCST, but they seem to have made peace with it, for the moment anyway.
The male mind revisited: The episode opens in the kitchen, as Jo is cooking something we never see or hear about, and the other two are playing chess.
Robin: Now, don't misunderstand me, Chrissy. I mean, I like girls. You know, they're my favourite opposite sex. I'm just saying that they are different from men.
Chrissy: Yes, helpless, feather-brained sex objects.
Jo: Leave me out of it.
He says it's been proved scientifically that the woman's brain is lighter than the man's. Chrissy says perhaps it gets more exercise.
He asks where are your female mathematicians, philosophers, or writers. Wikipedia lists quite a few each of mathematicians and philosophers, but Chrissy decides to answer the last part of his question, probably because there are more household names. She mentions the Bronte sisters, Elizabeth Barrett Browning, and Jane Austen. So he adds in children's author Enid Blyton. He says women write lightweight stuff. "Where's your Gulag Archipelago?" ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gulag_Archipelago ). Jo says it's at the base of the spine.
Robin says chess is the ultimate example. The male mind can cope with it, because it's pure applied logic. Chrissy points out that he's put his queen where the king should be. He says he was just testing her.
The doorbell rings and Jo lets in Mrs. Roper, who says she's on the scrounge. She wants to borrow their suitcase. She's going to visit her sister in Purley, which is in the south of London. She's looking forward to it, especially since George isn't going.
Her sister has a swimming pool, kidney-shaped since the brother-in-law is in the meat trade. Robin says it's lucky the man doesn't doctor cats for a living. (We'd say "fix" them.) Mrs. Roper has tried to persuade her husband to go in the pool, knowing he can't swim.
Jo brings out a suitcase, saying they only have two, their best and a tatty one. Of course Mrs. Roper thinks this one is tatty, when it's their best.
After Mrs. Roper leaves, Jo tells Robin not to worry about the chess game. "You'll get that piece back when you change ends at half-time."
Ethel: When we switch to downstairs, we see that Mrs. Roper's leopard-print slacks have a matching jacket. She's packing.
George can't stand her sister Ethel or nameless brother-in-law, the latter a show-off, like her brother in "While the Cat's Away." This brother-in-law has a wine cellar.
Mildred sits down and complains about the spring in the settee.
Her taxi shows up. She asks George if he'll miss her.
George: I'll miss you as much as you'll miss me.
Mildred: I see.
She says she'll be back in a week. He reluctantly kisses her goodbye, then wipes his mouth.
As soon as she goes out the front door, he takes out a folded piece of paper and laughs mischievously.
Waugh: Robin moves the chess game into the lounge since the light is better there. Chrissy is winning. She takes his queen. He says the bright light is giving him a headache.
The doorbell rings. As Robin goes to answer it, Jo comes up with "another famous woman writer, Evelyn Waugh."
Mr. Roper comes in but takes awhile to get to the point. He takes out the folded paper, which turns out to be their lease that expired three weeks ago. Robin thinks Mr. Roper wants to raise the rent, but Mr. Roper wants to evict them. It won't be immediately. The end of the week will do.
Jerry: The next scene introduces George's friend, Jerry, who'll be making two more appearances on MatH, plus a few on George & Mildred. He's played by Roy Kinnear, who not only did a load of British television, including That Was the Week That Was and The Avengers, but some film roles as well, most memorably as Veruca Salt's father in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. Jerry isn't exactly a pleasant fellow, but it's delightful to see Roy Kinnear.
Jerry tells George that he's doing the right thing. Using George's beer, Jerry draws the trio's flat on the table, not to scale. He shows George how they can make five self-contained dwelling units, for 15 quid a week each. Bill the bartender (uncredited) wipes the table down.
George doesn't know how Mildred will take it, although we can guess. Jerry says by the time she gets back, "they're out, we're in, fate accomplished."
George invites him over. He found out where Mildred hid the Scotch.
Twit: Chrissy is on the phone. After she hangs up, she says that the Citizens' Advice Bureau said that Mr. Roper has to give them three months' notice in writing. "And even then, he has to apply for a possession order. And even then, we can appeal to the rent tribunal."
They wonder who should tell Mr. Roper. Jo volunteers, but Robin dismisses her. She says, "You've got me marked down as a twit, haven't you?" When he includes her, she says she can't because she'll never remember it all. Chrissy says she'll do it, but not on her own.
Emotional blackmail: George tells Jerry he found the Scotch in the drawer with his clean underpants. Mildred obviously reckoned he wouldn't change while she was away. (For a week?) Jerry calls her a cunning cow.
George says she doesn't scare him, he wears the pants in the house. Jerry jokes, "And the underwear."
Jerry says he has half of his workforce standing by, although that turns out to be only one man. George asks about the furniture. Jerry says it's very nice, except for the spring sticking up his backside. George means the furniture upstairs. Jerry says he has a couple fellows who can put it in storage.
The kids come by to have a word. George introduces his friend, saying, "He's, er, Jerry." Robin hears this as "He's a Jerry," probably because Mr. Roper is established as hating Germans. Robin tells Jerry, "Welcome to Britain."
Robin and Chrissy don't know how to put it. Then Jo calmly says, "Well, you can't evict us without three months' notice in writing, which we can challenge, requiring you to apply for a possession order. Then we can appeal to the rent tribunal."
Jerry makes up a story about Mr. Roper needing the flat for his mother. She's dying and wants to spend her last days with her only son. Unless George has seven sisters, that part is a lie, too.
Robin says the flat is rather large for one old lady, but Jerry says there will be a full-time nurse. He claims George didn't tell them because that would've been emotional blackmail.
They give in and leave. George tells Jerry his mother has been dead for eleven years.
Wombles: Chrissy is on the phone again, this time ringing up places for rent, as Robin and Jo check the newspaper. Jo sees one out of their league, a three-bedroom flat for 45 pounds a week. It's in Wimbledon Common, so Robin says it's expensive because of all those Wombles spotters. ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wombles )
Jo finds something else interesting after Chrissy is off the phone.
Jo: "Not a day for speaking your mind. Those close to you may become impatient."
Robin: Stop reading your horoscope!
Robin is going to ring up about a flat for three people to share. It's only twice as much as they can afford. But when he gets the landlady on the phone, she asks if he's suntanned and if he has frizzy hair.
Chrissy: She wants to know if you're coloured, and she's not allowed to ask.
Robin: (with an exaggerated "black" accent) Well, hush my mouth, Soul Sister! I's a whitey, sho nuff, and no cotton-- She's hung up.
Filing cabinet: We get a transition of a view of the rental ads with a few circled, as inappropriately cheerful music plays.
Then we're in a rental office, where the young agent is played by Derek Seaton, who was one of the policemen on "It's Only Money." Robin and Chrissy tell him that they want something suitable for three to share. Seeing only two of them, he asks, "Are you pregnant?" Neither of them is, but the third flatmate is using her lunch hour to eat. They're taking turns.
They can afford eight pounds each at most.
The phone rings and as the agent answers, he tells Robin to have a look in the filing cabinet. Robin tells Chrissy he doesn't think it'll be big enough for the three of them. She laughs.
The agent writes down one promising prospect, two bedrooms for twelve a week.
After he hangs up, Robin says there are only two flats listed. The agent says actually there's only one now. It's a one-bedroom flat. Robin considers it but Chrissy gives him a dubious yet amused look.
She asks about the phone call, but the agent wants it himself. That's the reason he took this job. It's the only way to find a decent flat in London.
Tears of joy: We get another shot of rental ads, this time with ads both circled and crossed out.
Then we see the girls at the pub. Jo sees a listing for a cheap houseboat in Camden, probably cheap because there's no river in Camden.
Robin comes back from visiting a flat in Fulham. He and a girl went to ring the bell at the same time. They laughed together, and while he was still laughing, she nipped in and got the flat.
He says that legally Roper can't kick them out. Jerry is in the pub and he overhears this, spilling his drink. He comes over and says that Roper told his mother yesterday. She cried tears of joy. Robin knows he won't say anything to Roper.
It's fun to stay at the Y...: Later, the trio are packing up. Chrissy says, "Three years and this is all I've got to show for it." This means that she must've moved into the flat in '71 (or very late in '70).
Robin says she also has a heart full of memories, golden moments of friendship to look back on, some smiles, and some tears. Then he says he thought a bit of gooey sentimentality might help. She tells him to shut up.
Mr. Roper comes in and asks when they're leaving. Not till 3.
Robin is going back to the YMCA, while Chrissy's going to the YWCA. Robin says, "We tried to swap but they wouldn't let us." Jo is going to stay with a girlfriend, even though I don't think we've met any of her female friends besides Chrissy.
The trio got George's mother flowers as a welcoming gift. They wonder when she'll be getting there. He says he doesn't know, since he's not sure which direction she's coming from, implying he doesn't know if she went to Heaven or Hell.
After Mr. Roper leaves, Chrissy says that they never finished the chess game and it's been a week. Robin says there's no point in rushing.
Six rather than five: At the pub, George tells Jerry that when he saw the flowers, he began to feel he was doing something mean. (I think he means cruel rather than cheap, although both are applicable here.) Jerry is unswayed. He again uses George's beer to draw the flat, this time making six dwelling units. Granted, none of them could get to the bog (bathroom). Bill again wipes away the drawing.
Jerry again mentions that he has a couple fellows to move the trio's furniture, which leads us to the next scene.
Removal men: The two fellows show up in the entryway. One of the actors, Michael Redfern, will go on to both Robin's Nest and George & Mildred, as well as The Young Ones and Eastenders, while the other, Ian Sharp, will return to MatH as Tom. At this point, I can't tell you which is which, and it doesn't really matter for this episode.
They know they need to see a Mr. Roper, so when Robin runs downstairs, they think that's him. Before he leaves, he tells them they need to see the man in the ground-floor flat. They look in and say they'll soon have this stuff out.
Robin and Rodin: Robin and Chrissy are playing chess again. He's got his head on his fist. She says he looks just like that statue The Thinker, except that he's not stark-naked. Robin says that can be arranged, since it's half an hour till the van's due.
Jo brings them tea. She suggests moving the man with the pointed hat. Robin says they'll soon be going their separate ways. She knows he's leading up to an insult. He tells her to mind her own business.
Jo leaves to take down the rentbook. Chrissy says Robin's right, they are going their separate ways. They may never see each other again. He asks why he should want to see a girl who thrashes him at chess.
Little bugger: Jo knocks on the Ropers' door. Mrs. Roper comes in the front door. She's again in the leopard-print outfit. She tells Jo she's wasting her time because George is probably down at the pub. Jo says she came down to give them the rentbook and say goodbye.
Back upstairs, Chrissy wants Robin to not move a piece to a particular spot. He says he hates girls that patronise him.
Chrissy: More or less than girls who beat you at chess?
Robin: The same.
Jo and Mrs. Roper come in. Mildred says it's a good thing she took the early train. She looks around at the packed-up flat and asks, "What's the little bugger been up to now?"
Jerry-built: George comes in the front door and sees the suitcase. He calls to his wife. He goes in the flat. We don't see it, just his stunned reaction as he says, "Oh my God!"
Back upstairs, Mildred says that George's mother has been dead for 11 years. Far too forgiving, Jo says, "Perhaps he's forgotten."
Mildred says that George has been on about this for months, wanting to split the flat up and get more rent. "And he waits till I go away."
George peeks in the open door. She says she knows he's there. She can smell the fear.
He says it was Jerry's idea. She says his friend is the one who thought up the phrase "jerry-built." ("Jerry-rigged" is the equivalent American phrase.)
She tells the trio that if anyone's leaving, it'll be George. She says they'll go down to their flat to discuss it in private. He'd rather stay upstairs, but she insists.
Chrissy says, "So much for male superiority." Robin says, "Aw, who cares? It means we're staying." He hugs her and lifts her off the ground, which is quite a trick considering they're about the same height. She tells him, "Put me down, you don't know where I've been."
They go back to the chess game. Jo still thinks Robin should move the one with the pointed hat. He's so happy to be staying that he humours her. She says now that gives him checkmate. He gives her a little kiss, not really paying attention to the game, but Chrissy says, "Oh, she's right. You've won."
Robin says it was obvious from the start. "I mean, the male mind--" Chrissy throws a pillow at him.
Nothing: George doesn't want Mildred to go into their flat. She tells him to get out of her way. He suggests they discuss the matter out in the entryway, or they could go for a walk. She asks, "What's in there?" He says, "Nothing." He turns out to be telling the literal truth. All that's left is the birdcage and some newspapers on the floor.
He says the furniture is only in storage, but she wants to get fancy new furniture like her sister's.
Commentary: "I Shall Not Be Moved" was originally a folk song. In the 1930s, it got pluralized for use as a protest song. It says in part, "Just like a tree that's standing by the water/ I shall not be moved." The trio are not that determined/stubborn. As soon as they hear that their flat is going to Mr. Roper's mother, they decide not to fight, even though they have the legal right to do so.
Perhaps more than any other episode so far, this episode is about the Battle of the Sexes. You of course have the Ropers, with deservedly hen-pecked George. He claims he wears the pants, but he's enough scared of his wife to wait till she's gone before he evicts the tenants. She probably won't physically hurt him, although she wouldn't mind if he drowned.
Chrissy and Robin's chess game runs throughout, even though a week passes. Significantly, he puts his queen where his king should be, symbol of the upheaval of sex roles in the 1970s. He knows Chrissy is at least as smart as he is, but he likes pontificating on the male mind. Even when he goes to look at a property, he's outsmarted by a girl who grabs the flat while he's still laughing.
And then there's Jo. The dumb-blonding of her character is not as dramatic as with Amer-Chrissy, but she does seem to be getting dimmer, and there are more lines about it, from her as well as her flatmates. However, she is bright enough to remember the laws about eviction, as well as to figure out how to play chess without knowing what the pieces are called. She's at least smarter than Jerry, who leads George astray and doesn't know how to say "fait accompli."
The other form of prejudice addressed in this episode is racial. "We Shall Not Be Moved" was adopted by the Civil Rights movement in the 1960s, although never as well known as "We Shall Overcome." Robin is used to Mr. Roper's prejudice against the Germans, so he just assumes it even when it's not the case. But when faced with a bigoted potential landlady, he responds by acting like a stereotypical "coloured" man. Of course, Robin makes bigoted jokes himself (like the one about eating missionaries last week), but I think he's more politically incorrect than hateful.
One last note. So much has changed in the past year that Robin and Chrissy only joke about their possible separation forever, rather than get genuinely sentimental. On "Carry Me Back to Old Southampton," they did both. There's still RCST, but they seem to have made peace with it, for the moment anyway.
Monday, April 25, 2011
"Somebody Out There Likes Me"/"Secret Admirer"
When MatH18 got converted to a late fourth season episode for 3'sC, the rhythm of the story, as well as the result, changed. "Somebody Out There Likes Me" aired on 6 November 1974, while "Secret Admirer" appeared on March 11, 1980, placing #7 in the ratings.
Train-spotting: George is combing his hair while Mildred reads her horoscope. This is supposed to be her lucky day, so he'd be better be careful crossing the street.
He's entering a darts match at the British Legion. She wants him to take her out, saying London offers opera, ballet, theatre, cinema, train-spotting, and rooting through old dust bins. She tells him that someday he'll find she's gone, some other man sweeping her away. He doesn't buy it.
He goes out to the entryway and sees Chrissy. He asks if she'd always be nagging at him to take her out. Amused, she says, "I would not."
Notes: Upstairs, Robin is cooking in his naughty apron. He makes what I think is the second reference to Fanny Cradock, since there might've been one back on the first episode. ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fanny_Cradock ) Jo is wearing the first of two huge dresses. I doubt Sally Thomsett was pregnant since she has only one child, born around '96. I'm going to just assume that this style was fashionable at the time, and she did wear a rather large dress for the party scenes on "While the Cat's Away." She might have put on weight, since there's another reference to her diet, but her face looks the same.
Robin says he's serving "long pig," although it's really chicken because Tesco's didn't have one missionary left on their shelves. (This joke obviously would not have made it across the Atlantic.)
Chrissy gets home late because Old Wilkins wanted her to work on a report. Jo tells her that she got flowers The note says they're from an admirer. He didn't put his name but he did address it to Chrissy Plummer. (I think this is the first time we get her last name. Apparently Jo's is never mentioned.) Chrissy doesn't recognise the handwriting. Robin says the handwriting looks like Jack the Ripper's, but he imitates Quasimodo.
Over in L.A., Janet is vacuuming while Jack sleeps on the couch. She has to lift him to vacuum the cushions. Then she removes the cushions from under him, puts them on the floor, and rolls him onto the cushions. He sleeps through all of this.
Chrissy comes home and runs in. She got another note at work from her secret admirer. This is the seventh one. She notices Jack sleeping but knows how to wake him up. She says she ran into that redhead, Valerie Markham. Jack says, "Where?"
She reads Jack the poem that the secret admirer (hereafter referrred to as SA) left: "Roses are red/ Violets are blue/ Your smile is like sunshine/ And you always come to work dressed very nicely also." Jack says they can rule out any professional poets.
Brit-Chrissy says she likes the flowers if Robert Redford sent them, but not if Old Roper did. (We learned on "In Praise of Older Men" that Amer-Chrissy likes Robert Redford, too.) Jo suggests that Larry sent them, but Robin says that's not Larry's style. Larry is more "wham, bam, thank you, Ma'am."
Amer-Chrissy says that someone leaves the notes on her desk before anyone else gets there. Jack says then it can't be one of her bosses. She's not amused. She says it's not easy having someone admire you. "I hope you never have to experience it." Janet is very amused by that.
Brit-Chrissy offers the flowers to Jo, but she doesn't want Chrissy's cast-offs.
They all go in the kitchen, since dinner's ready. Robin doesn't want them to wash their hands because the food always get cold. (I know the '70s were less germ-phobic than the '10s, but this is worrisome.)
Jack suggests leaving a note on the bulletin board at Chrissy's workplace saying that she'll be at the Regal Beagle. It takes her awhile to get it, since she wasn't planning to be there. Then he touches her head and says, "The medicine must be working."
Janet asks what will happen if it's some creep that Chrissy doesn't want to go out with. Jack says then Janet will be along to scare him off. He makes an ugly face by crossing his eyes and using his hand to form a pig nose.
The episodes are starting to diverge, so I'll just talk about MatH for awhile, and then 3's C, until they sort of sync up again.
Milkman's eye: Mildred and Chrissy are chatting about Chrissy's admirer. Chrissy says it could be half the men in the country. In particular, there's the milkman who makes a pass at every women, and the coalman who chats up all the women. Well, not Mrs. Roper. Chrissy keeps putting her foot in her mouth.
Mildred is happy to get the flowers and she plans to put them in her best vase, setting them in the window. Perhaps she can catch the milkman's eye.
Prospects: Robin is now doing the dishes. Chrissy comes back from the Ropers'. The trio discuss who the admirer could be. Jo suggests a coworker in tweed and a small moustache. Chrissy says, "Miss Butcher?" (This may be the first lesbian joke on the show. It's an old stereotype that lesbians wear tweed.) Jo actually means Mr. Grimes in accounts, although he's over 60. Ginger the Office Boy is another possibility.
Robin thinks it's one of Chrissy's "very weird boyfriends." So the girls start listing off Chrissy's boyfriends, none of whom have appeared on the show. There's Clive with a big nose, or at least a small face, but he went all Hari Krishna. Tom. Trevor. Bernard.
Chrissy has a little black book, although she claims that the stars are for the numbers of times she went out with each man. Robin asks about the abbreviation L.H.O.T.M. Chrissy says it stands for "Left Hand on Thigh Merchant."
Perhaps SA is Bernard. He was always sending her flowers and chocolates. Jo says maybe he's trying to reestablish contact. Robin says maybe something has brought a memory back. A faded rose, a snatch of some romantic song, a pair of knickers in the glove compartment.
Jo suggests ringing Bernard up. Chrissy doesn't know if he's even still at that number.
Carrycot: We switch to a kitchen set with soiled diapers on washlines. Babies are crying offscreen. The phone rings. A blond man in an apron calls to a woman named Cynthia.
He's happy to hear from Chrissy. He hasn't sent her flowers in 18 months, but he's willing to send some again. He suggests they get together for old times' sake.
A woman comes in wearing a robe. He starts talking as if he's selling a carrycot (like a small pram). When she leaves the room, he admits that his wife wants him to sell the carrycot because the twins have outgrown it. He says his wife doesn't understand him. Chrissy says, "But I do." She hangs up in disgust.
Maybe it was Colin who's SA.
Not particular: Downstairs, Mildred tries to clean a vase that seems to have something like cement inside. George comes in, happy that he won the darts contest. He thinks she resents him popping across to the British Legion, which suggests their hall, or wherever they meet, is close by. She says, "I don't care if you pop across to the Foreign Legion." It turns out he's put polyfiller in the vase. ( http://www.woodflooringcontractor.com/can-you-use-poly-filler-to-fill-cracks-in-wood.html )
He sees the flowers and thinks she's been throwing away housekeeping money. She says they were given to her. When he finds the card saying they're from an admirer, she's as surprised as he is. He guesses it's the milkman, who's not particular. As he angrily tries to find out who it is, she keeps denying it, until she realises she wants him to be jealous, so she says, "Wouldn't you like to know?" And we break for adverts.
Cadbury's: We get the tidying up scene here. Robin is awake while Chrissy vacuums, as he's taking the newspaper off the settee. They're not quite sure whose turn it is to clean, since there's been a lot of trading of chores. Jo comes in and says that she'll do the tidying up while they go to the pub. They didn't know they were going, but she says, "Well, it's your turn."
Robin is wearing a green-and-black-striped sweater, which I think he's worn before. It will be significant later.
Mrs. Roper brings up the post. It's only gas and electric, which Robin thanks her for before tearing them up and throwing them in the wastebasket that not-pregnant Jo is holding in front of her stomach. Mrs. Roper also gives a package to Chrissy. Chrissy recognises the handwriting as belonging to the fellow she doesn't know.
It turns out to be a huge box of chocolates, from an admirer. Robin does his Quasimodo.
Jo finds the situation romantic, but Chrissy doesn't like this sort of thing. The chocolates could be-- Robin completes her thought, "Drugged." Jo says, "No, Cadbury's don't do drugged chocolates." (Well, it was the '70s.) Chrissy says that Jo can have the chocolates if she thinks they're romantic. Then Jo says she's on a diet. Chrissy offers them to Mrs. Roper, who pretends reluctance before taking them. Then she asks for the card, too.
Male mind: At the pub, we see Robin getting drinks from a blonde barmaid, but on the other side of the set. It'll turn out later that this isn't the Mucky Duck but some place called the White Swan. On either side of Robin, a man is reading, one with black hair and beard, the other with blond hair and glasses. Robin, who's smoking, takes the drinks to the table.
He tells Chrissy that for all she knows, SA could be him. It isn't, but it could've been somebody as nice as him. She suggests someone as good-looking as him, with the same sort of personality. When he agrees, she says, "That's all I need, a big-headed twit sending me flowers and chocolates."
He says they should apply the male mind to this, forget intuition and guessing, and apply reason and deduction. SA could be anybody. SA probably doesn't know her, he's a stranger. He could be anybody in this pub. We pan to Blackbeard, Four-Eyes, and an older bald man who leers and purses his lips at her. She says, "Drink up and let's go!"
Communicating: Meanwhile, George paces angrily as Mildred debates which chocolate to eat. He warns her that although he usually restrains his temper, when he loses it, there'll be blood on the moon. She happily says, "George, we're communicating!" He says no, he's telling her off. And he storms out.
He only gets as far as the entryway though. Bernard has shown up with gifts. George thinks they're for Mildred, and he throws himself across his front door to prevent Bernard from coming in. Bernard starts heading upstairs, to George's confusion.
Then Robin and Chrissy come in. Bernard tells her he's got some flowers and chocolates. She says, "And a wife and twins. Goodbye, Bernard."
After Bernard leaves, Chrissy and Robin explain to Mr. Roper. He grins and goes back into his flat. He's very amused as he talks to his wife, and finally tells her, "I've been communicating with her upstairs." Mildred says, "I see." He says Mildred never had an admirer. She says, "I never said I had. You jumped to that conclusion."
He teases her until she starts to cry. He feels bad but expresses it as telling her not to start the waterworks. Then they bicker. When he says he's given her the best years of his life, she thunders, "The best years?!? What are the rest gonna be like?" He leaves again.
A wonderful slut: Upstairs, Jo says maybe Bernard's wife doesn't understand him. Chrissy says they've got twins, so she must've understood something.
Robin notices that Jo didn't do a very good job dusting. She says dust is nature's way of telling you to move about occasionally. In yet another of the show's variations on "make somebody a wonderful wife someday," he tells her she'll make somebody a wonderful slut someday, in the sense of a slattern, or slob. (Bridget Jones calls herself a slut, although she means it in the slob sense.)
He answers the phone. The caller wants to speak to Chrissy. He says she doesn't know him but his name is Alan. She doesn't know any Alan. Robin says, "Then his story's true." When we cut to the caller, we can see it's the blond with glasses. He's calling from the pub.
Chrissy asks questions which Robin has to relay. At one point, Robin does Quasimodo again. Alan says he saw Chrissy once or twice at the White Swan. He didn't want to talk to her since she was with friends, including a rather scruffy type in a striped jersey. (I laughed heartily at this.) Alan is worried the man might be her boyfriend, but Robin says he's not, he just has a room here. He invites Alan round in half an hour, to give Chrissy time to put in her teeth and take out her curlers.
Violets: Downstairs, George returns with a little bouquet of violets. Mildred is touched. He tells her to not get emotional, and it's waterworks either way. Then she sees the little card: "To Granny, Rest in Peace." She's furious.
Kazoomski: As you'll recall, the Amer-trio are deliberately going to the local pub to see SA, rather than him just happening to be there in the background. The pub is almost empty, but there is an unremarkable-looking guy at the bar. Jack suggests Chrissy go over there. She sarcastically asks if she's supposed to ask the guy for a handwriting sample.
Jack tells her to think, but when she tries, he says, no, that might take too long. He says she should go over and start a conversation. Janet encourages her to go. So Chrissy awkwardly saunters over.
Jim the Bartender greets her and apologizes for it being dead tonight. She says she likes it quiet, since it's easier to share secrets. The guy says, "Hi, Chrissy." She's very happy. He introduces himself as Brad. He offers her some clam dip, but he also offers her a dip in his hot tub. She realizes this isn't SA. He admits he knows her name because he heard the bartender call her Chrissy. She puts his hand in the dip and goes back to the trio's booth.
"Oh, boy, Jack. The next time I listen to one of your dumb ideas, I hope I'm not around to hear it." He tells her she'd better start apologizing, and he points out a young, good-looking blond guy who's just come in. Janet exclaims, "Kazoomski!" The guy doesn't work in Chrissy's office, but she wishes he did.
Jim has a message for Phil Durkin. That's this guy. Jim says Barbara said she'll be a little late.
Phil sees the trio looking at him, so as a reflex he smiles. He goes over to the center table. Jack and Janet again encourage Chrissy. Jack recommends she use one of the lines guys use on her, "but leave out the part where you slap him."
She nervously goes over, then cheerfuly says hi. She tries the line "Sure is crowded in here," despite it being inapplicable. She asks to share his table. He says she can for a little bit.
She says they should just put their cards on the table.
Chrissy: Are you my admirer?
Phil: Admirer? Oh, yeah, oh, you bet you.
She thinks they should get acquainted. He asks if she always meets fellows like this. She says only when she puts an invitation on the bulletin board.
Barbara comes in and looks p.o.ed. She mentions Phil sending her a note about meeting that night. Chrissy says, "His note? He's been leaving them on your desk, too? What are you? Some kind of pen pal sex maniac?"
She's crushed to learn he's not SA. Barbara says, "Try the bar on the corner, Honey. Over there, you gotta beat 'em off with a stick." Chrissy goes back to the booth and says she could kill Jack.
Answer to my dreams: In the next scene, the trio are in different outfits and it turns out to be the evening of the next day. Chrissy comes in very happy. SA saw her sitting with "the dippy guy" (ha ha, pun), so he left, but she got another note saying he's going to stop by her place tonight. She bought a new blouse and she thinks this guy might be the anwer to her dreams. Jack and Janet go awww.
Over in London, Chrissy brushes her hair in the mirror. She's changed into a nice dress. Robin wonders why she's dollying herself up if she's going to hide in the kitchen. She says she might come out once she sees what he looks like. If he's ugly, Robin will need to tell him she's emigrated, to New Zealand. Both girls hide in the kitchen when Alan arrives.
Robin introduces himself as "the scruffy type in the striped jersey." But he tells Alan to sit down. Alan is nervous, and it doesn't help when Robin tells him that Chrissy is spying from the ktichen.
When the doorbell rings in California, Jack answers it. This SA is a short man in bow tie and a suit. He also wears glasses and he's holding a potted plant. He introduces himself as Gilbert Larwin. Jack invites him to sit down, but he trips and the plant goes flying, Jack catching it. And we break for commercials.
Alan starts to say he's only been in London a couple of somethings, months presumably. He doesn't know many people. When he asks about Robin sharing with Chrissy, Robin says, "Only the bills." Alan is relieved. He saw Chrissy's name on the bell-push. She's one of the most attractive girls he's ever seen. Chrissy tells Jo, "I like him."
Yoo-hoo: We pick up where we left off on 3'sC. Janet helps Gilbert up. They have him sit down and talk. He's a newspaper man, not a writer but a seller.
Jack accidentally introduces him to Chrissy as Mr. Larva. Gilbert corrects him. Chrissy says it's nice to finally meet him. They shake hands for a long time. Jack and Janet excuse themselves to the kitchen.
Gilbert says he sees Chrissy twice a day. He works at the newstand in her office building. She says she never stops there. He says he's had a paper waiting for her every day for three years. She says they must be piling up.
He tells her that he's always wanted to call out to her, "Yoo-hoo, Beautiful Lady!" He sounds a bit like Jerry Lewis, and we cut to the kitchen where Jack tells Janet that that wasn't Gilbert's mating call. She says that Chrissy is too nice to hurt Gilbert's feelings and they need to think of something.
He tells her to go tell Larry to come down to pick up Chrissy for their date. She says Larry doesn't have a date with Chrissy. He says, "It's finally happened. You're starting to sound like her. When are you gonna start going--?" He does Chrissy's snort-laugh. Janet gets that Larry would only be pretending. Turning into a game show host, Jack says, "Johnny, let's tell her what she's won."
Back in the living room, Chrissy says she once wanted to marry a guy who sold papers. He had a paper route. She was only 10. She snort-laughs. Gilbert says he loves her laugh.
While Janet goes up to Larry's, Jack tries to separate Chrissy and Gilbert, including by looking for a pizza cutter in the couch.
Gilbert: Mom and Dad aren't gonna believe it when I get home.
Jack: I don't believe it and I'm here.
When there's someone at the door, Jack says, "I'm afraid the party's over, Gimlet." We see Janet looking exasperated. And there's Larry, with a champagne bottle and glasses. He's wearing an ascot and a robe, the latter with sparkles and horses. These are his working clothes.
Larry goes over to Chrissy, calling her Baby. He kisses her hand and wants her to follow him to passion paradise. Chrissy giggles and says he's so funny. Gilbert says, "Don't you just love her laugh?"
Larry goes back over to Jack and Janet. Jack tells him to wise up, since Chrissy is nuts. But Larry calls this the biggest challenge of his life.
He returns to Chrissy on the couch and puts her on her back.
Larry: My heart weeps for you. My soul cries out for you. Come away with me where I can kiss you, kiss you, kiss you.
Chrissy: (to Gilbert) Anyway, I was saying--
Larry is shattered. He leaves, with his champagne and glasses.
Jack asks to see Chrissy "for just a mo." They and Janet go into the kitchen. It turns out that Chrissy wants to talk to Gilbert. He's honest and warm. He's the only man she's met in months that's wanted to be with her rather than her being with him. Janet understands. Jack doesn't, but why break a habit?
Chrissy goes back to the living room. Janet says she's going to get out of her clothes and go to bed. Jack acts out tearing her clothes off. She's annoyed.
Over on MatH, things turn out very differently. When the girls come in from the kitchen, Chrissy holds out her hand and says hello. Alan shakes her hand and says hello back, but then turns to Jo and says, "Hello, Chrissy." Jo and Robin laugh together. Chrissy looks disappointed. And the episode ends there.
Worship: The next morning, Gilbert is sleeping on the couch fully clothed. He and Chrissy talked till the wee small hours. He tells Jack it's OK, he called his folks. He says Chrissy is the most wonderful girl. He just loves her, worships her. She's gentle, sweet, and kind. Jack says, "Take it easy, Giblets. I mean Jailbait. Sorry, Gilbert."
Jack says he'll go get Chrissy, and he actually goes in the girls' bedroom. He looks down at Chrissy sleeping and says, "I wonder what he sees in her." Both girls wake up and are angry that Jack's in their room.
He tells Chrissy that Gilbert fell in love with her last night. She says they didn't talk that long. Janet says some people can fall in love between traffic lights. Jack thinks Gilbert is going to ask Chrissy to marry him. Janet says Chrissy will have to disillusion Gilbert.
Jack returns to the living room, where Gilbert is folding up the blanket he borrowed and singing "I Gotta Be Me," offkey.
Chrissy emerges with messy hair and wearing a large robe and big slippers. She's cranky and bossy. She makes breakfast for Gilbert by throwing eggs in the pan, shells and all. Next she makes juice by putting a slightly squeezed orange in a glass. Then she tosses bread in the oven for toast.
He lifts his cup of orange and says he wants to propose. She runs out of the kitchen, saying she's not ready to get married. He wants to propose a toast. He doesn't want to marry her. He just wanted to meet and talk with her, and it was wonderful. She says it made her feel good, too. He asks if they can be friends. She says they are.
He has to get to work. He'll save her a paper. She offers him a kiss but he doesn't want to mess up her hair. So he shakes her hand.
After she leaves, she asks Jack and Janet what they're looking at. They think she's beautiful, on the inside. They hug and kiss her.
Cake: In the tag, Jack comes home. Janet says it was so sweet of him to bake a birthday cake for Gilbert. He says he likes Gilbert. Janet says Chrissy is decorating the cake. Jack worries because the last time Chrissy decorated a cake, it looked as if someone had been shooting at it.
Jack tries to go into the kitchen, but Chrissy tells him not to because she's trying to get the cake ready, with the box and everything. When she comes out of the room, she drops the box and falls on it. It turns out the box is empty. In return for the girls' practical joke, Jack threatens to smear icing on their hair.
Commentary: I've never really liked Jack on this episode. Yes, he has a couple sweet moments towards the end, but it doesn't make up for earlier. Not only does he make fun of Janet's looks, but he insults Chrissy's intelligence four times and he's mean to Gilbert. Yeah, OK, they're really playing up the dumb blonde angle by this point, but he doesn't have to spell it out for us.
As for Gilbert, I have a soft spot for Barry Gordon because he always played sweet little guys on tons of sitcoms, from The Danny Thomas Show through Empty Nest. I best know him from Fish and Archie Bunker's Place, where his characters were much sharper than Gilbert. He was Barry the Paperboy in the cult classic movie The Girl Can't Help It at the age of 7, and he's still working 55 years later, since he's in a new movie called Losing Control. Christopher Chittell (Alan) has also worked for decades on television He's a few months older than Barry Gordon, and apparently played a student in 1967's To Sir With Love.
Gilbert was clearly admiring longer than Alan was, having sent seven notes. Also, he's been saving a newspaper for Chrissy for three years, around the time we met her, while Alan has only been in London a couple months at most. (I doubt he was going to say a couple years.) Alan doesn't even know Jo's real name, and we don't get to know him very well compared to Gilbert, who's on almost half the episode. It's unlikely that Brit-Chrissy will want to be friends with Alan, while Amer-Chrissy and Gilbert bond through their awkwardness and innocence.
On both shows, the whole stalker issue is not addressed as it would be nowadays, although Brit-Chrissy is warier. Because both Alan and Gilbert come across as shy and harmless, and because the Chrissys don't meet up with SA alone, we're not meant to worry about their safety. It's apparently more of a problem that your SA will want to marry you, or go out with your roommate.
SA can't be Brit-Larry because he's more "wham, bam, thank you, Ma'am." We were introduced to Larry's technique with girls last episode. As for Amer-Larry, he was well-established as a ladies' man by this point in 3'sC. You have to remember that Larry didn't look quite as ridiculous three decades ago as he does now. He really was supposed to be more attractive than Gilbert.
Another SA possibility is Bernard. They dated eighteen months ago, which was before we met Chrissy. It's been long enough for him to get married and become father to twins. One of the rules of comedy is that twin babies are funnier than solo babies. Chrissy has never deliberately dated a married man before, and certainly after the mess with Lloyd, she's not going to get together with Bernard.
One possibility for Brit-Chrissy's admirer is "Old Roper," but even though he asks if she'd want him to take her out, he's not taken seriously as a possibility. The subplot with the Ropers couldn't have been used in America at this point, because they'd spun off a year earlier. There is an episode where Helen sends herself flowers to make Stanley jealous but that's not what's going on with the Brit-Ropers. MatH once again has a surprisingly poignant moment with the Ropers, this time over Mildred feeling unattracitve. It's played for laughs but there's real emotion here. In contrast, 3'sC by its fourth season is very cartoony, which makes Janet's "kazoomski" very appropriate.
There isn't much RCST in this episode, with the possibility of him being SA not being much more seriously considered than Old Roper. As on "I Won't Dance," he teases her about her love life, although she claims her little black book is innocent. Still, she's been out with enough fresh fellows that she has an abbreviation like L.H.O.T.M.
I don't know what it is about the British characters, but they can say the most conceited things, like Chrissy saying half the men in the country admire her, and get away with it. I think it's that they're so nonchalant about it, like they're not even boasting, just stating a simple fact.
Train-spotting: George is combing his hair while Mildred reads her horoscope. This is supposed to be her lucky day, so he'd be better be careful crossing the street.
He's entering a darts match at the British Legion. She wants him to take her out, saying London offers opera, ballet, theatre, cinema, train-spotting, and rooting through old dust bins. She tells him that someday he'll find she's gone, some other man sweeping her away. He doesn't buy it.
He goes out to the entryway and sees Chrissy. He asks if she'd always be nagging at him to take her out. Amused, she says, "I would not."
Notes: Upstairs, Robin is cooking in his naughty apron. He makes what I think is the second reference to Fanny Cradock, since there might've been one back on the first episode. ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fanny_Cradock ) Jo is wearing the first of two huge dresses. I doubt Sally Thomsett was pregnant since she has only one child, born around '96. I'm going to just assume that this style was fashionable at the time, and she did wear a rather large dress for the party scenes on "While the Cat's Away." She might have put on weight, since there's another reference to her diet, but her face looks the same.
Robin says he's serving "long pig," although it's really chicken because Tesco's didn't have one missionary left on their shelves. (This joke obviously would not have made it across the Atlantic.)
Chrissy gets home late because Old Wilkins wanted her to work on a report. Jo tells her that she got flowers The note says they're from an admirer. He didn't put his name but he did address it to Chrissy Plummer. (I think this is the first time we get her last name. Apparently Jo's is never mentioned.) Chrissy doesn't recognise the handwriting. Robin says the handwriting looks like Jack the Ripper's, but he imitates Quasimodo.
Over in L.A., Janet is vacuuming while Jack sleeps on the couch. She has to lift him to vacuum the cushions. Then she removes the cushions from under him, puts them on the floor, and rolls him onto the cushions. He sleeps through all of this.
Chrissy comes home and runs in. She got another note at work from her secret admirer. This is the seventh one. She notices Jack sleeping but knows how to wake him up. She says she ran into that redhead, Valerie Markham. Jack says, "Where?"
She reads Jack the poem that the secret admirer (hereafter referrred to as SA) left: "Roses are red/ Violets are blue/ Your smile is like sunshine/ And you always come to work dressed very nicely also." Jack says they can rule out any professional poets.
Brit-Chrissy says she likes the flowers if Robert Redford sent them, but not if Old Roper did. (We learned on "In Praise of Older Men" that Amer-Chrissy likes Robert Redford, too.) Jo suggests that Larry sent them, but Robin says that's not Larry's style. Larry is more "wham, bam, thank you, Ma'am."
Amer-Chrissy says that someone leaves the notes on her desk before anyone else gets there. Jack says then it can't be one of her bosses. She's not amused. She says it's not easy having someone admire you. "I hope you never have to experience it." Janet is very amused by that.
Brit-Chrissy offers the flowers to Jo, but she doesn't want Chrissy's cast-offs.
They all go in the kitchen, since dinner's ready. Robin doesn't want them to wash their hands because the food always get cold. (I know the '70s were less germ-phobic than the '10s, but this is worrisome.)
Jack suggests leaving a note on the bulletin board at Chrissy's workplace saying that she'll be at the Regal Beagle. It takes her awhile to get it, since she wasn't planning to be there. Then he touches her head and says, "The medicine must be working."
Janet asks what will happen if it's some creep that Chrissy doesn't want to go out with. Jack says then Janet will be along to scare him off. He makes an ugly face by crossing his eyes and using his hand to form a pig nose.
The episodes are starting to diverge, so I'll just talk about MatH for awhile, and then 3's C, until they sort of sync up again.
Milkman's eye: Mildred and Chrissy are chatting about Chrissy's admirer. Chrissy says it could be half the men in the country. In particular, there's the milkman who makes a pass at every women, and the coalman who chats up all the women. Well, not Mrs. Roper. Chrissy keeps putting her foot in her mouth.
Mildred is happy to get the flowers and she plans to put them in her best vase, setting them in the window. Perhaps she can catch the milkman's eye.
Prospects: Robin is now doing the dishes. Chrissy comes back from the Ropers'. The trio discuss who the admirer could be. Jo suggests a coworker in tweed and a small moustache. Chrissy says, "Miss Butcher?" (This may be the first lesbian joke on the show. It's an old stereotype that lesbians wear tweed.) Jo actually means Mr. Grimes in accounts, although he's over 60. Ginger the Office Boy is another possibility.
Robin thinks it's one of Chrissy's "very weird boyfriends." So the girls start listing off Chrissy's boyfriends, none of whom have appeared on the show. There's Clive with a big nose, or at least a small face, but he went all Hari Krishna. Tom. Trevor. Bernard.
Chrissy has a little black book, although she claims that the stars are for the numbers of times she went out with each man. Robin asks about the abbreviation L.H.O.T.M. Chrissy says it stands for "Left Hand on Thigh Merchant."
Perhaps SA is Bernard. He was always sending her flowers and chocolates. Jo says maybe he's trying to reestablish contact. Robin says maybe something has brought a memory back. A faded rose, a snatch of some romantic song, a pair of knickers in the glove compartment.
Jo suggests ringing Bernard up. Chrissy doesn't know if he's even still at that number.
Carrycot: We switch to a kitchen set with soiled diapers on washlines. Babies are crying offscreen. The phone rings. A blond man in an apron calls to a woman named Cynthia.
He's happy to hear from Chrissy. He hasn't sent her flowers in 18 months, but he's willing to send some again. He suggests they get together for old times' sake.
A woman comes in wearing a robe. He starts talking as if he's selling a carrycot (like a small pram). When she leaves the room, he admits that his wife wants him to sell the carrycot because the twins have outgrown it. He says his wife doesn't understand him. Chrissy says, "But I do." She hangs up in disgust.
Maybe it was Colin who's SA.
Not particular: Downstairs, Mildred tries to clean a vase that seems to have something like cement inside. George comes in, happy that he won the darts contest. He thinks she resents him popping across to the British Legion, which suggests their hall, or wherever they meet, is close by. She says, "I don't care if you pop across to the Foreign Legion." It turns out he's put polyfiller in the vase. ( http://www.woodflooringcontractor.com/can-you-use-poly-filler-to-fill-cracks-in-wood.html )
He sees the flowers and thinks she's been throwing away housekeeping money. She says they were given to her. When he finds the card saying they're from an admirer, she's as surprised as he is. He guesses it's the milkman, who's not particular. As he angrily tries to find out who it is, she keeps denying it, until she realises she wants him to be jealous, so she says, "Wouldn't you like to know?" And we break for adverts.
Cadbury's: We get the tidying up scene here. Robin is awake while Chrissy vacuums, as he's taking the newspaper off the settee. They're not quite sure whose turn it is to clean, since there's been a lot of trading of chores. Jo comes in and says that she'll do the tidying up while they go to the pub. They didn't know they were going, but she says, "Well, it's your turn."
Robin is wearing a green-and-black-striped sweater, which I think he's worn before. It will be significant later.
Mrs. Roper brings up the post. It's only gas and electric, which Robin thanks her for before tearing them up and throwing them in the wastebasket that not-pregnant Jo is holding in front of her stomach. Mrs. Roper also gives a package to Chrissy. Chrissy recognises the handwriting as belonging to the fellow she doesn't know.
It turns out to be a huge box of chocolates, from an admirer. Robin does his Quasimodo.
Jo finds the situation romantic, but Chrissy doesn't like this sort of thing. The chocolates could be-- Robin completes her thought, "Drugged." Jo says, "No, Cadbury's don't do drugged chocolates." (Well, it was the '70s.) Chrissy says that Jo can have the chocolates if she thinks they're romantic. Then Jo says she's on a diet. Chrissy offers them to Mrs. Roper, who pretends reluctance before taking them. Then she asks for the card, too.
Male mind: At the pub, we see Robin getting drinks from a blonde barmaid, but on the other side of the set. It'll turn out later that this isn't the Mucky Duck but some place called the White Swan. On either side of Robin, a man is reading, one with black hair and beard, the other with blond hair and glasses. Robin, who's smoking, takes the drinks to the table.
He tells Chrissy that for all she knows, SA could be him. It isn't, but it could've been somebody as nice as him. She suggests someone as good-looking as him, with the same sort of personality. When he agrees, she says, "That's all I need, a big-headed twit sending me flowers and chocolates."
He says they should apply the male mind to this, forget intuition and guessing, and apply reason and deduction. SA could be anybody. SA probably doesn't know her, he's a stranger. He could be anybody in this pub. We pan to Blackbeard, Four-Eyes, and an older bald man who leers and purses his lips at her. She says, "Drink up and let's go!"
Communicating: Meanwhile, George paces angrily as Mildred debates which chocolate to eat. He warns her that although he usually restrains his temper, when he loses it, there'll be blood on the moon. She happily says, "George, we're communicating!" He says no, he's telling her off. And he storms out.
He only gets as far as the entryway though. Bernard has shown up with gifts. George thinks they're for Mildred, and he throws himself across his front door to prevent Bernard from coming in. Bernard starts heading upstairs, to George's confusion.
Then Robin and Chrissy come in. Bernard tells her he's got some flowers and chocolates. She says, "And a wife and twins. Goodbye, Bernard."
After Bernard leaves, Chrissy and Robin explain to Mr. Roper. He grins and goes back into his flat. He's very amused as he talks to his wife, and finally tells her, "I've been communicating with her upstairs." Mildred says, "I see." He says Mildred never had an admirer. She says, "I never said I had. You jumped to that conclusion."
He teases her until she starts to cry. He feels bad but expresses it as telling her not to start the waterworks. Then they bicker. When he says he's given her the best years of his life, she thunders, "The best years?!? What are the rest gonna be like?" He leaves again.
A wonderful slut: Upstairs, Jo says maybe Bernard's wife doesn't understand him. Chrissy says they've got twins, so she must've understood something.
Robin notices that Jo didn't do a very good job dusting. She says dust is nature's way of telling you to move about occasionally. In yet another of the show's variations on "make somebody a wonderful wife someday," he tells her she'll make somebody a wonderful slut someday, in the sense of a slattern, or slob. (Bridget Jones calls herself a slut, although she means it in the slob sense.)
He answers the phone. The caller wants to speak to Chrissy. He says she doesn't know him but his name is Alan. She doesn't know any Alan. Robin says, "Then his story's true." When we cut to the caller, we can see it's the blond with glasses. He's calling from the pub.
Chrissy asks questions which Robin has to relay. At one point, Robin does Quasimodo again. Alan says he saw Chrissy once or twice at the White Swan. He didn't want to talk to her since she was with friends, including a rather scruffy type in a striped jersey. (I laughed heartily at this.) Alan is worried the man might be her boyfriend, but Robin says he's not, he just has a room here. He invites Alan round in half an hour, to give Chrissy time to put in her teeth and take out her curlers.
Violets: Downstairs, George returns with a little bouquet of violets. Mildred is touched. He tells her to not get emotional, and it's waterworks either way. Then she sees the little card: "To Granny, Rest in Peace." She's furious.
Kazoomski: As you'll recall, the Amer-trio are deliberately going to the local pub to see SA, rather than him just happening to be there in the background. The pub is almost empty, but there is an unremarkable-looking guy at the bar. Jack suggests Chrissy go over there. She sarcastically asks if she's supposed to ask the guy for a handwriting sample.
Jack tells her to think, but when she tries, he says, no, that might take too long. He says she should go over and start a conversation. Janet encourages her to go. So Chrissy awkwardly saunters over.
Jim the Bartender greets her and apologizes for it being dead tonight. She says she likes it quiet, since it's easier to share secrets. The guy says, "Hi, Chrissy." She's very happy. He introduces himself as Brad. He offers her some clam dip, but he also offers her a dip in his hot tub. She realizes this isn't SA. He admits he knows her name because he heard the bartender call her Chrissy. She puts his hand in the dip and goes back to the trio's booth.
"Oh, boy, Jack. The next time I listen to one of your dumb ideas, I hope I'm not around to hear it." He tells her she'd better start apologizing, and he points out a young, good-looking blond guy who's just come in. Janet exclaims, "Kazoomski!" The guy doesn't work in Chrissy's office, but she wishes he did.
Jim has a message for Phil Durkin. That's this guy. Jim says Barbara said she'll be a little late.
Phil sees the trio looking at him, so as a reflex he smiles. He goes over to the center table. Jack and Janet again encourage Chrissy. Jack recommends she use one of the lines guys use on her, "but leave out the part where you slap him."
She nervously goes over, then cheerfuly says hi. She tries the line "Sure is crowded in here," despite it being inapplicable. She asks to share his table. He says she can for a little bit.
She says they should just put their cards on the table.
Chrissy: Are you my admirer?
Phil: Admirer? Oh, yeah, oh, you bet you.
She thinks they should get acquainted. He asks if she always meets fellows like this. She says only when she puts an invitation on the bulletin board.
Barbara comes in and looks p.o.ed. She mentions Phil sending her a note about meeting that night. Chrissy says, "His note? He's been leaving them on your desk, too? What are you? Some kind of pen pal sex maniac?"
She's crushed to learn he's not SA. Barbara says, "Try the bar on the corner, Honey. Over there, you gotta beat 'em off with a stick." Chrissy goes back to the booth and says she could kill Jack.
Answer to my dreams: In the next scene, the trio are in different outfits and it turns out to be the evening of the next day. Chrissy comes in very happy. SA saw her sitting with "the dippy guy" (ha ha, pun), so he left, but she got another note saying he's going to stop by her place tonight. She bought a new blouse and she thinks this guy might be the anwer to her dreams. Jack and Janet go awww.
Over in London, Chrissy brushes her hair in the mirror. She's changed into a nice dress. Robin wonders why she's dollying herself up if she's going to hide in the kitchen. She says she might come out once she sees what he looks like. If he's ugly, Robin will need to tell him she's emigrated, to New Zealand. Both girls hide in the kitchen when Alan arrives.
Robin introduces himself as "the scruffy type in the striped jersey." But he tells Alan to sit down. Alan is nervous, and it doesn't help when Robin tells him that Chrissy is spying from the ktichen.
When the doorbell rings in California, Jack answers it. This SA is a short man in bow tie and a suit. He also wears glasses and he's holding a potted plant. He introduces himself as Gilbert Larwin. Jack invites him to sit down, but he trips and the plant goes flying, Jack catching it. And we break for commercials.
Alan starts to say he's only been in London a couple of somethings, months presumably. He doesn't know many people. When he asks about Robin sharing with Chrissy, Robin says, "Only the bills." Alan is relieved. He saw Chrissy's name on the bell-push. She's one of the most attractive girls he's ever seen. Chrissy tells Jo, "I like him."
Yoo-hoo: We pick up where we left off on 3'sC. Janet helps Gilbert up. They have him sit down and talk. He's a newspaper man, not a writer but a seller.
Jack accidentally introduces him to Chrissy as Mr. Larva. Gilbert corrects him. Chrissy says it's nice to finally meet him. They shake hands for a long time. Jack and Janet excuse themselves to the kitchen.
Gilbert says he sees Chrissy twice a day. He works at the newstand in her office building. She says she never stops there. He says he's had a paper waiting for her every day for three years. She says they must be piling up.
He tells her that he's always wanted to call out to her, "Yoo-hoo, Beautiful Lady!" He sounds a bit like Jerry Lewis, and we cut to the kitchen where Jack tells Janet that that wasn't Gilbert's mating call. She says that Chrissy is too nice to hurt Gilbert's feelings and they need to think of something.
He tells her to go tell Larry to come down to pick up Chrissy for their date. She says Larry doesn't have a date with Chrissy. He says, "It's finally happened. You're starting to sound like her. When are you gonna start going--?" He does Chrissy's snort-laugh. Janet gets that Larry would only be pretending. Turning into a game show host, Jack says, "Johnny, let's tell her what she's won."
Back in the living room, Chrissy says she once wanted to marry a guy who sold papers. He had a paper route. She was only 10. She snort-laughs. Gilbert says he loves her laugh.
While Janet goes up to Larry's, Jack tries to separate Chrissy and Gilbert, including by looking for a pizza cutter in the couch.
Gilbert: Mom and Dad aren't gonna believe it when I get home.
Jack: I don't believe it and I'm here.
When there's someone at the door, Jack says, "I'm afraid the party's over, Gimlet." We see Janet looking exasperated. And there's Larry, with a champagne bottle and glasses. He's wearing an ascot and a robe, the latter with sparkles and horses. These are his working clothes.
Larry goes over to Chrissy, calling her Baby. He kisses her hand and wants her to follow him to passion paradise. Chrissy giggles and says he's so funny. Gilbert says, "Don't you just love her laugh?"
Larry goes back over to Jack and Janet. Jack tells him to wise up, since Chrissy is nuts. But Larry calls this the biggest challenge of his life.
He returns to Chrissy on the couch and puts her on her back.
Larry: My heart weeps for you. My soul cries out for you. Come away with me where I can kiss you, kiss you, kiss you.
Chrissy: (to Gilbert) Anyway, I was saying--
Larry is shattered. He leaves, with his champagne and glasses.
Jack asks to see Chrissy "for just a mo." They and Janet go into the kitchen. It turns out that Chrissy wants to talk to Gilbert. He's honest and warm. He's the only man she's met in months that's wanted to be with her rather than her being with him. Janet understands. Jack doesn't, but why break a habit?
Chrissy goes back to the living room. Janet says she's going to get out of her clothes and go to bed. Jack acts out tearing her clothes off. She's annoyed.
Over on MatH, things turn out very differently. When the girls come in from the kitchen, Chrissy holds out her hand and says hello. Alan shakes her hand and says hello back, but then turns to Jo and says, "Hello, Chrissy." Jo and Robin laugh together. Chrissy looks disappointed. And the episode ends there.
Worship: The next morning, Gilbert is sleeping on the couch fully clothed. He and Chrissy talked till the wee small hours. He tells Jack it's OK, he called his folks. He says Chrissy is the most wonderful girl. He just loves her, worships her. She's gentle, sweet, and kind. Jack says, "Take it easy, Giblets. I mean Jailbait. Sorry, Gilbert."
Jack says he'll go get Chrissy, and he actually goes in the girls' bedroom. He looks down at Chrissy sleeping and says, "I wonder what he sees in her." Both girls wake up and are angry that Jack's in their room.
He tells Chrissy that Gilbert fell in love with her last night. She says they didn't talk that long. Janet says some people can fall in love between traffic lights. Jack thinks Gilbert is going to ask Chrissy to marry him. Janet says Chrissy will have to disillusion Gilbert.
Jack returns to the living room, where Gilbert is folding up the blanket he borrowed and singing "I Gotta Be Me," offkey.
Chrissy emerges with messy hair and wearing a large robe and big slippers. She's cranky and bossy. She makes breakfast for Gilbert by throwing eggs in the pan, shells and all. Next she makes juice by putting a slightly squeezed orange in a glass. Then she tosses bread in the oven for toast.
He lifts his cup of orange and says he wants to propose. She runs out of the kitchen, saying she's not ready to get married. He wants to propose a toast. He doesn't want to marry her. He just wanted to meet and talk with her, and it was wonderful. She says it made her feel good, too. He asks if they can be friends. She says they are.
He has to get to work. He'll save her a paper. She offers him a kiss but he doesn't want to mess up her hair. So he shakes her hand.
After she leaves, she asks Jack and Janet what they're looking at. They think she's beautiful, on the inside. They hug and kiss her.
Cake: In the tag, Jack comes home. Janet says it was so sweet of him to bake a birthday cake for Gilbert. He says he likes Gilbert. Janet says Chrissy is decorating the cake. Jack worries because the last time Chrissy decorated a cake, it looked as if someone had been shooting at it.
Jack tries to go into the kitchen, but Chrissy tells him not to because she's trying to get the cake ready, with the box and everything. When she comes out of the room, she drops the box and falls on it. It turns out the box is empty. In return for the girls' practical joke, Jack threatens to smear icing on their hair.
Commentary: I've never really liked Jack on this episode. Yes, he has a couple sweet moments towards the end, but it doesn't make up for earlier. Not only does he make fun of Janet's looks, but he insults Chrissy's intelligence four times and he's mean to Gilbert. Yeah, OK, they're really playing up the dumb blonde angle by this point, but he doesn't have to spell it out for us.
As for Gilbert, I have a soft spot for Barry Gordon because he always played sweet little guys on tons of sitcoms, from The Danny Thomas Show through Empty Nest. I best know him from Fish and Archie Bunker's Place, where his characters were much sharper than Gilbert. He was Barry the Paperboy in the cult classic movie The Girl Can't Help It at the age of 7, and he's still working 55 years later, since he's in a new movie called Losing Control. Christopher Chittell (Alan) has also worked for decades on television He's a few months older than Barry Gordon, and apparently played a student in 1967's To Sir With Love.
Gilbert was clearly admiring longer than Alan was, having sent seven notes. Also, he's been saving a newspaper for Chrissy for three years, around the time we met her, while Alan has only been in London a couple months at most. (I doubt he was going to say a couple years.) Alan doesn't even know Jo's real name, and we don't get to know him very well compared to Gilbert, who's on almost half the episode. It's unlikely that Brit-Chrissy will want to be friends with Alan, while Amer-Chrissy and Gilbert bond through their awkwardness and innocence.
On both shows, the whole stalker issue is not addressed as it would be nowadays, although Brit-Chrissy is warier. Because both Alan and Gilbert come across as shy and harmless, and because the Chrissys don't meet up with SA alone, we're not meant to worry about their safety. It's apparently more of a problem that your SA will want to marry you, or go out with your roommate.
SA can't be Brit-Larry because he's more "wham, bam, thank you, Ma'am." We were introduced to Larry's technique with girls last episode. As for Amer-Larry, he was well-established as a ladies' man by this point in 3'sC. You have to remember that Larry didn't look quite as ridiculous three decades ago as he does now. He really was supposed to be more attractive than Gilbert.
Another SA possibility is Bernard. They dated eighteen months ago, which was before we met Chrissy. It's been long enough for him to get married and become father to twins. One of the rules of comedy is that twin babies are funnier than solo babies. Chrissy has never deliberately dated a married man before, and certainly after the mess with Lloyd, she's not going to get together with Bernard.
One possibility for Brit-Chrissy's admirer is "Old Roper," but even though he asks if she'd want him to take her out, he's not taken seriously as a possibility. The subplot with the Ropers couldn't have been used in America at this point, because they'd spun off a year earlier. There is an episode where Helen sends herself flowers to make Stanley jealous but that's not what's going on with the Brit-Ropers. MatH once again has a surprisingly poignant moment with the Ropers, this time over Mildred feeling unattracitve. It's played for laughs but there's real emotion here. In contrast, 3'sC by its fourth season is very cartoony, which makes Janet's "kazoomski" very appropriate.
There isn't much RCST in this episode, with the possibility of him being SA not being much more seriously considered than Old Roper. As on "I Won't Dance," he teases her about her love life, although she claims her little black book is innocent. Still, she's been out with enough fresh fellows that she has an abbreviation like L.H.O.T.M.
I don't know what it is about the British characters, but they can say the most conceited things, like Chrissy saying half the men in the country admire her, and get away with it. I think it's that they're so nonchalant about it, like they're not even boasting, just stating a simple fact.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Women
The best laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft a-gley,
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promised joy.
--Robert Burns (1786)
MatH's "Of Mice and Women" became "The Best Laid Plans," the Americans ending up with the more suggestive half of the well-known phrase. "Schemes" would've been a more accurate word under the circumstances. And the plans in both episodes are the men's, despite the British title. Things definitely go a-gley, or awry.
Math17 got converted into a third season episode of 3'sC, which makes a difference, for reasons I'll go into. Math17 aired on 30 October 1974, while 3's48 appeared on Feb. 13, 1979, and the latter placed #2 in the ratings.
Alarm: Robin/Jack knocks on the girls' bedroom door. It's 7:30 in the morning. Brit-Chrissy/Janet says she's up. Robin/Jack says to prove it by knocking on the door. Brit-Chrissy admits she's not up, but Janet gets out of bed. Robin says he'll count to three and then he'll burst into song. Now Brit-Chrissy gets up and draws the curtains.
Robin tells Chrissy she's wearing a nice nightdress. Jack tells Janet she's wearing a very sexy nightie, and he never noticed that dimple before. Brit-Chrissy is skeptical, but Janet panics. She tells Amer-Chrissy that Jack can see into their bedroom. Jack tells Chrissy that she'll catch a nasty chest cold dressed like that. Now Janet is skeptical. Brit-Chrissy/Janet asks how many fingers she's holding up. Robin says she's making a rude gesture. Jack exclaims, "Shame on you, Janet! I thought you were a lady!"
Brit-Chrissy/Janet notices that Jo/Amer-Chrissy's alarm didn't go off. Jo/Amer-Chrissy says you have to shake it first.
Pests: In the kitchen, Robin sings a bit of "Blue Suede Shoes." Brit-Chrissy is annoyed he's a morning person. When he says that today is the first day of the rest of your life, she says he's been reading matchboxes again. He says there'll never be another Thursday like this again. She says it's Friday. In contrast, Amer-Chrissy doesn't even mind when Jack greets her with, "Good morning, Little Chrissy."
Janet/Jo screams offstage. Jo comes in and says something ran across her foot. Robin says, "What? A bicycle? A steamroller?", a line that made me laugh out loud, because it's typical of his whimsy. She says it was a mouse.
Janet runs in and jumps up, putting her arms around Jack's neck. She says she needs him. He says, "In front of Chrissy?" She says a mouse ran across her foot. He lowers her onto a chair, making her let go. Janet says she heard the mouse squeak. Chrissy says, "Don't just stand there, Jack! Go oil it!" Then she snort-laughs.
Robin/Jack gets a pan. Brit-Chrissy/Amer-Chrissy asks if he's going to cook the mouse. Robin quotes Churchill, with a line about fighting them on the beaches.
The doorbell rings. As Brit-Chrissy/Amer-Chrissy answers it, she says that the mouse wasn't after Janet/Jo, it was probably just hungry. "Food attracts pests." Under the aforementioned Lenny & Squiggy rule (see http://www.mts.net/~lmauthe1/Lori/lavshirshow.htm ), Brit-Larry has come by to borrow sugar, milk, and coffee, while Amer-Larry omits the sugar.
Robin/Jack returns from checking the girls' room.
Jack: I'm sorry, Janet. If he's in there, I can't find him.
Larry: You lost a guy in your bedroom?
Both Larrys had a mouse upstairs. Jo says theirs is brown with the tip of its tail missing. Larry did that with the egg whisk, which he also borrowed. Janet says theirs is dark brown and asks what color Larry's is. Chrissy says, "It doesn't matter, Janet. I think mice are color-blind."
The Larrys leave with the items they're borrowing. Jo says she loaned Larry the egg whisk when he was decorating and ran out of sticks to stir paint with. As Jack serves breakfast, Amer-Chrissy says she's not scared of mice. She practically grew up on her grandfather's farm, and there were lots of mice. Jack says, "And lots of teeny milking stools."
Since Janet's still scared of the mouse, he says he'll buy a mousetrap after class.
No Children, No Mice: As Mildred tries to watch something on the television about a woman on her deathbed, who's only been married a week (a Love Story parody?), George noisily eats pickles, peanuts, crisps, and celery. She says he even drowned out The World at War. (The programme finished airing the previous May, not to Franz's liking, as we know.) George says he couldn't hear this film due to her nattering.
She says they can't exchange two words without arguing.
George: We can.
Mildred: We can't!
Meanwhile, Stanley complains about Helen spending $45 on a nightgown. "Who was in it? Raquel Welch?" She says it's a very beautiful nightgown and she wore it to bed last night. He says that for 45 bucks she can at least buy something he can't see through.
Mrs. Roper has a surprise for her husband. Her mother is coming to stay for a week. He says, "Over my dead body!" Helen says, "Let's leave our sex life out of this."
George: Mildred, am I or am I not master in my own house?
Mildred: Don't be ridiculous.
Jo/Janet knocks and Mrs. Roper answers. Jo/Janet says there's a mouse upstairs. Mr. Roper says that's not allowed in the lease, no pets. Jo wanted him to know, as landlord. George says if the name isn't on the rentbook, it's not his responsibility. Janet says the mouse was also seen at Larry's.
Mrs. Roper says she takes after her mother in being afraid of mice. Her husband realizes this is good news. Stanley grins at the audience after saying that they'll have to cancel her mother's visit.
Don't trust yourself: Robin will tempt the mouse's palate with Stilton cheese. Chrissy says they're trying to catch a mouse, not Egon Ronay (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egon_Ronay ). Jack tests his mousetrap with a pencil, then says, "Sorry, Mickey."
Jo/Janet won't sleep in her room until the mouse is gone. Robin/Jack says he'll give her his bed, and take hers.
Jo says, "Oh, that's fair. I don't mind," but Chrissy objects. We don't hear Janet's reaction before Amer-Chrissy objects, but I can't imagine it being positive. Robin/Jack asks Chrissy, "Still don't trust yourself?"
Robin says he could protect her. He asks her to imagine "you're suddenly awakened in the middle of the night. And you hear it: the scamper of feet on the lino [linoleum], heading straight for your bed." She says, "Yeah, that's why I don't want you in there."
Robin/Jack suggests discussing it over coffee. Brit-Chrissy/Janet says that Larry borrowed the last of the coffee this morning. Robin/Jack will go get it back.
Leap: We next see Robin on the landing outside Larry's flat. There's now a sign that says "Larry's Leap." Robin bangs on the door. When Larry finally answers, Robin says he wants the sugar, milk, and coffee. Larry says, "Right now?" Robin insists. They go inside and there's a girl buttoning her blouse. Larry calls her Rosie, but her name is Rita.
On 3'sC, we instead start out in Larry's apartment, where he's making out with a girl on the couch. Jack knocks and Larry says, "Try to remember where my lips were, Debbie." She corrects him to Diane. He answers the door and reluctantly lets Jack in. Jack apologizes as he sees Diane buttoning up. Larry says, "This is Donna." She corrects him again. Jack says, "I'm very charming to meet you," as he shakes her hand.
Rita asks if Robin is a friend of Lawrence's. It takes him a moment to get it and then he's very amused. She says she met Lawrence at the laundrette. She asks if Robin is in the same line of business as Lawrence. Larry answers that Robin is not a fashion photographer.
Diane asks if Jack is in the same business as "Reginald." Larry says Jack is not a talent scout for MGM.
Larry gives Robin/Jack the stuff he's borrowing back. Back on the landing, Robin exclaims, "God's truth!" He's very amused. He apologises for interrupting. Larry says he has plenty of time. She'll miss the last bus because he put his watch back 20 minutes. (I guess she's not wearing one.) Robin says, "Oh, cheeky little Lawrence!"
Larry goes back in, turns the lights down, and puts on soft music. She asks about modeling opportunities. He says, yeah, films, television, radio. They make out on his bed. He says there are lots of opportunities for the right girl with the right attitude. Then she cries, "Something moved!" He mumbles, "Yeah, well." But she saw a mouse. We break for adverts.
On 3'sC we don't get to see much more of Larry's date. Jack says, "Nice meeting you, Denise." Larry corrects him to Dorothy. She says her actual name. And when Jack leaves, he says, "Sorry, Larry." Larry corrects him to Reginald.
The funny thing about Amer-Larry forgetting his date's name is that we later find out that his kid sister is named Diane. And Jenny Sherman will return four seasons from now, playing a character named Ginger.
Ladle: Jack tells Chrissy that if he sleeps in Janet's bed, Chrissy can lock the door if she wants. She says OK at first then realizes he'd be inside the room. She says, "You don't fool me." She's going to sleep alone. Janet goes to bed, too, taking a ladle for protection. (Not the one that turned green on the pilot.) After awhile, Chrissy calls Jack over, but only to hand him a pillow and blankets. He's very frustrated. And we break for commercials.
We'll see: The next morning, Robin/Jack is asleep on the settee/sofa. Brit-Chrissy comes in and draws the curtains. Amer-Chrissy comes in and pulls back the covers. Robin is topless. Jack's feet are on the pillow. Brit-Chrissy says, "Just think. Whoever marries you is going to have to look at that every morning." She rubs his unshaven jaw. "Eugh! Be like sleeping with a Brillo pad." He says he's had no complaints so far. Amer-Chrissy just says, "Blech!"
Brit-Chrissy goes in Robin's room and leaves coffee for Jo. When she returns, Robin complains of a stiff neck. Jack also complains of a stiff neck. Chrissy massages Robin/Jack's neck.
The mousetrap is empty. He says he's not sleeping on the settee/sofa again. She says, "We'll see." When he asks what she means, she says she feels a bit guilty. At this point, Amer-Chrissy starts massaging Jack's stiff knee and back. The Chrissys say Robin/Jack could've slept in Jo/Janet's bed. As for tonight, well, we'll see.
Robin grins after she leaves the room. Jack says, "We'll see. I can't ask for more than that."
Jo comes in with her coffee and asks Robin if he slept well. He has to frown again. Janet comes in, still with the ladle. Jo suggests Robin have his bed back. He says no, she should stay in his room till they find the mouse. Jack says the mouse probably slept at his girlfriend's house.
Jo/Janet answers the door. Brit-Larry wants to borrow the coffee back. He's wearing an Oxford University sweatshirt, which feels out of character, although who's to say where he got it. Amer-Larry wants to borrow a piece of bread. He's getting paid today and he promises to never borrow again. He also wants marmalade. Janet goes to the kitchen, yelling, "Chrissy, Mr. Mooch is back!"
Brit-Larry is going to a race at Kempton Park. He's going to bet on Nothing Doing. After last night, it's got to be an omen. He and Robin smoke together as they talk about Larry's date. Larry says it was real tongue sandwich stuff. But then the mouse showed up. She got hysterical and he slapped her face, so she slapped his face. Amer-Larry also struck out. Jack is surprised, since "the only question was who gets the pillow?" She saw the stupid mouse and got hysterical, then they slapped each other.
Brit-Larry threw his radio at the mouse.
Robin: You mean it's dead?
Larry: Dunno. I switched if off, so.
Amer-Larry killed the mouse in an unspecified manner. Robin/Jack doesn't want Larry to tell the girls the mouse is dead.
Brit-Chrissy brings Larry coffee but he has to hand it back to Robin because he's actually late for the race, his watch still being set back 20 minutes. As Amer-Larry leaves with the bread, he tells Jack, "Mum's the word." When Chrissy asks, "Mum's the word for what?", Jack says, "Chrysanthemums. Don't you know anything?"
State secret: In the entryway, Brit-Larry tells George he killed the mouse. George doesn't want Larry to tell Mildred. As Larry leaves he tells the milkman, "There's something I could tell you, but I'm beginning to think it's a state secret." The milkman isn't listed in the credits, despite his reaction of wide-eyed bewilderment.
Over at the Amer-Ropers', Helen answers the phone and tells Mama the bad news. Stanley comes in and grins at the audience. Then he stops when Helen says no, she doesn't mean Stanley when she says there's a mouse in the house. He goes out to get the paper. Larry runs downstairs and tells him about killing the mouse. Stanley doesn't want Larry to tell Helen. Larry asks, "Was this mouse somebody important?" Stanley says if the mouse dies, he'll have to spend a week with an old bat.
Mr. Roper goes back into his flat/apartment. His wife is still on the phone with her mother. When she hangs up, she says they're going to her mother's for a week. He doesn't want to go because she's only got one bed/bedroom. George will be stuck on the camp bed. Stanley will have to sleep on the porch with the dog. Mrs. Roper says her mother is an old lady. Mildred adds that next time they see her may be at her funeral. George says he wouldn't mind going down (to an unspecified location) for that. Helen says it's now or never. Stanley says he could wait till then. Helen's mother, incidentally, lives in Sacramento. And Mildred by the way, is wearing bright green flared slacks.
Mr. Roper says he just remembered, the young fella in the top flat/Amer-Larry killed the mouse. She says he's not a very convincing/good liar.
High opinion: Robin has Chrissy check on the race in the paper. She says of Nothing Doing, "It was scratched." Jo says, "I suppose it's all those prickly fences they have to jump over." They wonder if she's serious or joking.
Jo: Don't talk about me as if I wasn't here.
Robin: Where did that voice come from? (He and Chrissy look for it on the table.)
Jo: Look, I wouldn't mind if I wasn't, 'cause I wouldn't know. But I am and I do, so don't.
She leaves the room.
The Amer-girls are playing Monopoly. Janet still has the ladle. Jack keeps fake-yawning till they take the hint and decide to finish the game tomorrow. Janet gives Jack a peck on the lips and goes to his bed.
Then Jack says he hopes he sleeps all right, because he has exams tomorrow. If he fails, it'll be an extra year, but it's only his life they're talking about. Chrissy says he can sleep in Janet's bed, and she'll sleep on the sofa. Brit-Chrissy doesn't need the trick of phony exams to make a similar offer to Robin.
Robin: If you think I'm gonna take advantage of a situation like this, then, well, you, you can't have a very high opinion of me.
Jack: All right, I'm gonna level with you, Chrissy. You and I have known each other for a long time, right? Well, if, if you think that I'm the kind of guy who would take advantage of a stiuation, then, uh, I'm afraid that you don't think very highly of me. And it hurts, Chrissy. I'm wounded, but I'll get over it.
Chrissy says Robin/Jack can sleep in Jo/Janet's bed if he promises to behave himself. He says he will but then he goes to shave before he turns in.
Tremendous respect: On MatH we get a quick look at an Easy Rider poster before panning down to Chrissy reading in bed. Amer-Chrissy is reading, too. Robin/Jack knocks and asks if she's respectable/decent before coming in. Robin is wearing a robe and pyjamas. He takes the robe off and says he doesn't normally wear pyjamas. (He might well be sleeping in the nude all those times we see him sleeping topless.) Jack is also wearing a robe and pajamas, plus an ascot! He takes off the robe and ascot.
Robin/Jack talks as Chrissy reads. He gets into Jo/Janet's bed, Robin hugging Jo's teddy. Robin says it's a very nice bed. Jack says the mattress is nice and springy, not too firm. She asks what the smell is. Robin/Jack says it's his aftershave or deodorant. Jack also says mouthwash, but he doesn't think it's his hairspray.
Jack says he never noticed the picture of Chrissy's parents before, with her father in his minister's collar, like he's watching, almost guarding. Jack isn't dissuaded though.
Robin/Jack says this is a nice bed and asks what hers is like. She tells him to keep his mind off her bed. So Robin talks about some bill passing through the committee stage on the floor of the House (of Commons?).
She suggests he get a book. The girls' beds are much further apart on MatH, but Robin walks all the way over to Chrissy's bookcase to browse. He sees Sex and the Single Girl and asks what it's about. She says, "Church architecture." He sits on her bed as he gets another book. He asks about it. She says there's not a lot of plot, since it's a London street guide.
Chrissy: This is a very good book.
Robin: It must be, you're reading it upside-down.
Chrissy: Oh.
She admits she's not really reading. The title of her book looks like The Strange Case of something. Hilariously, the book Amer-Chrissy is reading is Quorum! Unfortunately Jack doesn't notice.
Robin sets down her book and their heads are very close by now.
Robin/Jack: Chrissy?
Chrissy: No.
Robin/Jack: I haven't even asked you yet.
She knows what he's going to ask.
Brit-Chrissy: Look, they say this is the way a girl can lose a man's respect.
Robin: Not mine. I've got tremendous respect for you. And I can feel it coming on right now.
Amer-Chrissy: Jack, I think that maybe this is a mistake. I mean, this is the way a girl can lose a guy's respect.
Jack: (talking in an overexaggerated way) Oh, no, Chrissy, no! I have a tremendous amount of respect for you. I think of you as a sister. Not mine of course, but-- (He laughs.)
Brit-Chrissy asks Robin to go back to Jo's bed. He's holding her hand and says, "Here I go then," but it takes him awhile to go.
Amer-Chrissy: Jack, what can I do to get you to go to sleep?
Jack: Well, as a matter of fact, there is something.
She suggests he read a book. He asks what page they're on.
Chrissy: Jack, get in bed!
Jack: I thought you'd never ask.
She pulls away as he tries to get into her bed.
On MatH, however, Chrissy isn't as definite.
Chrissy: I'd hate myself in the morning.
Robin: OK, fine.
Chrissy: On the other hand, I could lie in till the afternoon. (He turns and grins.)
Robin: That's true.
He comes back but steps on the mousetrap. He falls on her bed, writhing in pain. She tries to get the trap off his foot.
Jack sulkily returns to Janet's bed and steps in the trap. He tells Chrissy to take off the trap.
Tell her, Son: We get a quick little scene in the entryway on MatH. Larry comes home. Mildred comes out and asks if he killed the mouse. George says, "Go on, tell her, Son." So Larry says the mouse is still alive. And Mildred says they're still going to her mother's.
Shut your trap: Robin lies on the settee as Chrissy bandages his foot. Jo is very amused that he stepped in the trap. Jack lies on the sofa as Chrissy massages his foot. Janet says, "Boy, Jack, it serves you right for trying to sleep in our room." Jack says it was completely innocent. "Why don't you girls ever trust me?"
The Larrys come by, the British one for coffee again, while the American saw their light on. When Larry hears about his friend's foot, he asks why they still have the trap when he told him that he killed the mouse last night. Brit-Chrissy has Jo hold Robin's other foot while she tries to put the trap on it. Chrissy just reattaches the trap to Jack's injured foot. Janet hits him with the ladle. After the girls leave the room, Larry tries to take off the trap.
Sacramento: Back at the Ropers', Helen says that Mama is expecting them. Stanley says the plane is too expensive and they should just drive to Sacramento. She agrees, since they can see the countryside and then check into a motel with a waterbed. He decides on the plane after all.
Commentary: This pair of episodes is a good example of how Brit-Chrissy's persona was sort of split in the forming of Amer-Chrissy and Janet. If it's Brit-Chrissy's skeptical, suspicious side, then the lines and situations go to Janet. But if it's about Robin lusting after Brit-Chrissy, then it usually becomes Jack lusting after Amer-Chrissy. The twist in the opening scene is that Robin is lusting after Chrissy and she's skeptical about how much of her nightclothes he can see. It ends up becoming Jack lusting after both girls. And Amer-Chrissy gets the thing about the alarm, because she's closer to Jo's dottiness.
The third season of 3'sC is the middle of the Chrissy years and thus the middle of her dumbing-down. This Chrissy isn't as bright as she was in the first two years, where, like Jo, she was more Gracie Allen or Phoebe on Friends than, say, Kelly Bundy. (And Kelly was sharper her first year or two.) By this point, Chrissy has the snort-laugh and the hair in ponytails, but she's not a borderline idiot like she will be that Fall. Had this episode been adapted the previous season, Chrissy might not have fallen for Jack's manipulation so easily. Yes, Brit-Chrissy falls for it, too, but there's something more complicated going on there.
Robin/Jack is dishonest, using the no longer living mouse to create a situation where Chrissy will have to share her bedroom with him. Jack is more dishonest in that he also makes up the lie about his exams. Yet, in some ways Robin is more manipulative. He spends more time in Chrissy's bed (minutes rather than seconds) and he plays on her feelings for him. Amer-Chrissy is not at all tempted by Jack. She worries about losing his respect merely from sharing the bedroom with him. Brit-Chrissy, however, is very tempted, although she might lose both his respect and her self-respect. When Robin and Jack talk about respect, bear in mind how Robin in particular has previously used language to confuse emotion with lust. Also, the way Robin/Jack tries to guilt Chrissy about not trusting him is especially manipulative because she in fact shouldn't trust him in this instance.
Again, it's unclear if either Chrissy is a virgin, although third-season Amer-Chrissy is definitely more innocent in every way than first-season. Brit-Chrissy's wilder side is suggested by her poster of '60s movie rebels and by her Helen Gurley Brown book. Amer-Chrissy is at least curious about sex, since she's reading Jack's "dirty" book. Robin emphasises that he's not a virgin, with his remark about nobody so far complaining about how he looks in the morning. As for Jack, you have to remember that the ascot used to be a symbol of sophistication and/or coolness, although it was a bit dated by then. (Some time between Scooby-Doo's Fred and '80s 3'sC landlord Mr. Furley, it became unfashionable, although it didn't yet "look gay." The bully on "Colour Me Yellow" wears one.)
The mousetrap is probably symbolic, since Robin/Jack is trying to trap Chrissy, not unlike the spider & fly dynamic a couple MatH episodes ago. Robin gets trapped when Chrissy finally agrees to let him share her bed, while Jack falls into the trap when Chrissy tells him no after all his best laid plans. Of course, they're not the only men setting traps that capture them.
In Mr. Roper's case, he doesn't want her mother to visit and he thinks the mouse will discourage her. We're encouraged to sympathize with him, fourth-wall-breaking Stanley in particular. George is treated like an unwanted guest when he visits his mother-in-law, but Stanley has it worse, since he has to sleep with her dog. This time he's threatened with the possibility of sex with his wife on a waterbed! Even on MatH, which is generally more on Mrs. Roper's side, we're not supposed to worry about poor Mildred, caught in the middle between her mother and her husband. We know she'd choose her mum, and she scoffs at the idea of George being master of the house. So Mr. Roper can only get his way by tricking his wife. This is in contrast to Robin, who might be able to get Chrissy if he were more honest.
The third male schemer is Larry. This is our first time seeing Brit-Larry with a girl, not counting Liz's friend Sheila. We find out that Larry lies to girls as much or maybe even more than Robin does. At least Robin never lies to girls about his job, and in fact got in trouble when he tried to tell Maddie the truth. Amer-Larry is even worse, lying about his name. (Although apparently Brit-Larry does that, too, according to a summary of an upcoming episode.) The Larrys are confused about why their friends and landlords want them to lie about the mice, but they certainly don't object. They unfortunately forget to lie for their friends when it most counts, and when Brit-Larry lies for George, it backfires. We also find out that the Larrys are mooches, although they're more direct about that. Having the Larrys live upstairs makes the lying, the mooching, and the mice more plausible than if they still lived elsewhere.
These episodes perfectly demonstrate Jo and Janet's different attitudes towards the possibility of romance between the other roommates. Jo honestly doesn't care. She thinks it'd be fair for Robin to have her bed if she's taking his, and she just thinks it's funny that Robin stepped in the trap. Janet, on the other hand, has always been more protective of Chrissy and distrustful of Jack, so it's significant that she doesn't know about Jack tricking Chrissy with the fake exams. She says being caught in the trap serves him right for his scheming.
A couple other things of note. I like how, again, there's a sense of continuity on MatH, with Jo mentioning Larry decorating, from a couple weeks ago. I also like the detail of Chrissy's grandfather's farm, because her cousin Cindy will turn out to be a country girl, and they have at least one aunt who lives on a farm. And it's notable that Robin again works in a random political comment, with his mention of the bill in the House.
Gang aft a-gley,
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promised joy.
--Robert Burns (1786)
MatH's "Of Mice and Women" became "The Best Laid Plans," the Americans ending up with the more suggestive half of the well-known phrase. "Schemes" would've been a more accurate word under the circumstances. And the plans in both episodes are the men's, despite the British title. Things definitely go a-gley, or awry.
Math17 got converted into a third season episode of 3'sC, which makes a difference, for reasons I'll go into. Math17 aired on 30 October 1974, while 3's48 appeared on Feb. 13, 1979, and the latter placed #2 in the ratings.
Alarm: Robin/Jack knocks on the girls' bedroom door. It's 7:30 in the morning. Brit-Chrissy/Janet says she's up. Robin/Jack says to prove it by knocking on the door. Brit-Chrissy admits she's not up, but Janet gets out of bed. Robin says he'll count to three and then he'll burst into song. Now Brit-Chrissy gets up and draws the curtains.
Robin tells Chrissy she's wearing a nice nightdress. Jack tells Janet she's wearing a very sexy nightie, and he never noticed that dimple before. Brit-Chrissy is skeptical, but Janet panics. She tells Amer-Chrissy that Jack can see into their bedroom. Jack tells Chrissy that she'll catch a nasty chest cold dressed like that. Now Janet is skeptical. Brit-Chrissy/Janet asks how many fingers she's holding up. Robin says she's making a rude gesture. Jack exclaims, "Shame on you, Janet! I thought you were a lady!"
Brit-Chrissy/Janet notices that Jo/Amer-Chrissy's alarm didn't go off. Jo/Amer-Chrissy says you have to shake it first.
Pests: In the kitchen, Robin sings a bit of "Blue Suede Shoes." Brit-Chrissy is annoyed he's a morning person. When he says that today is the first day of the rest of your life, she says he's been reading matchboxes again. He says there'll never be another Thursday like this again. She says it's Friday. In contrast, Amer-Chrissy doesn't even mind when Jack greets her with, "Good morning, Little Chrissy."
Janet/Jo screams offstage. Jo comes in and says something ran across her foot. Robin says, "What? A bicycle? A steamroller?", a line that made me laugh out loud, because it's typical of his whimsy. She says it was a mouse.
Janet runs in and jumps up, putting her arms around Jack's neck. She says she needs him. He says, "In front of Chrissy?" She says a mouse ran across her foot. He lowers her onto a chair, making her let go. Janet says she heard the mouse squeak. Chrissy says, "Don't just stand there, Jack! Go oil it!" Then she snort-laughs.
Robin/Jack gets a pan. Brit-Chrissy/Amer-Chrissy asks if he's going to cook the mouse. Robin quotes Churchill, with a line about fighting them on the beaches.
The doorbell rings. As Brit-Chrissy/Amer-Chrissy answers it, she says that the mouse wasn't after Janet/Jo, it was probably just hungry. "Food attracts pests." Under the aforementioned Lenny & Squiggy rule (see http://www.mts.net/~lmauthe1/Lori/lavshirshow.htm ), Brit-Larry has come by to borrow sugar, milk, and coffee, while Amer-Larry omits the sugar.
Robin/Jack returns from checking the girls' room.
Jack: I'm sorry, Janet. If he's in there, I can't find him.
Larry: You lost a guy in your bedroom?
Both Larrys had a mouse upstairs. Jo says theirs is brown with the tip of its tail missing. Larry did that with the egg whisk, which he also borrowed. Janet says theirs is dark brown and asks what color Larry's is. Chrissy says, "It doesn't matter, Janet. I think mice are color-blind."
The Larrys leave with the items they're borrowing. Jo says she loaned Larry the egg whisk when he was decorating and ran out of sticks to stir paint with. As Jack serves breakfast, Amer-Chrissy says she's not scared of mice. She practically grew up on her grandfather's farm, and there were lots of mice. Jack says, "And lots of teeny milking stools."
Since Janet's still scared of the mouse, he says he'll buy a mousetrap after class.
No Children, No Mice: As Mildred tries to watch something on the television about a woman on her deathbed, who's only been married a week (a Love Story parody?), George noisily eats pickles, peanuts, crisps, and celery. She says he even drowned out The World at War. (The programme finished airing the previous May, not to Franz's liking, as we know.) George says he couldn't hear this film due to her nattering.
She says they can't exchange two words without arguing.
George: We can.
Mildred: We can't!
Meanwhile, Stanley complains about Helen spending $45 on a nightgown. "Who was in it? Raquel Welch?" She says it's a very beautiful nightgown and she wore it to bed last night. He says that for 45 bucks she can at least buy something he can't see through.
Mrs. Roper has a surprise for her husband. Her mother is coming to stay for a week. He says, "Over my dead body!" Helen says, "Let's leave our sex life out of this."
George: Mildred, am I or am I not master in my own house?
Mildred: Don't be ridiculous.
Jo/Janet knocks and Mrs. Roper answers. Jo/Janet says there's a mouse upstairs. Mr. Roper says that's not allowed in the lease, no pets. Jo wanted him to know, as landlord. George says if the name isn't on the rentbook, it's not his responsibility. Janet says the mouse was also seen at Larry's.
Mrs. Roper says she takes after her mother in being afraid of mice. Her husband realizes this is good news. Stanley grins at the audience after saying that they'll have to cancel her mother's visit.
Don't trust yourself: Robin will tempt the mouse's palate with Stilton cheese. Chrissy says they're trying to catch a mouse, not Egon Ronay (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egon_Ronay ). Jack tests his mousetrap with a pencil, then says, "Sorry, Mickey."
Jo/Janet won't sleep in her room until the mouse is gone. Robin/Jack says he'll give her his bed, and take hers.
Jo says, "Oh, that's fair. I don't mind," but Chrissy objects. We don't hear Janet's reaction before Amer-Chrissy objects, but I can't imagine it being positive. Robin/Jack asks Chrissy, "Still don't trust yourself?"
Robin says he could protect her. He asks her to imagine "you're suddenly awakened in the middle of the night. And you hear it: the scamper of feet on the lino [linoleum], heading straight for your bed." She says, "Yeah, that's why I don't want you in there."
Robin/Jack suggests discussing it over coffee. Brit-Chrissy/Janet says that Larry borrowed the last of the coffee this morning. Robin/Jack will go get it back.
Leap: We next see Robin on the landing outside Larry's flat. There's now a sign that says "Larry's Leap." Robin bangs on the door. When Larry finally answers, Robin says he wants the sugar, milk, and coffee. Larry says, "Right now?" Robin insists. They go inside and there's a girl buttoning her blouse. Larry calls her Rosie, but her name is Rita.
On 3'sC, we instead start out in Larry's apartment, where he's making out with a girl on the couch. Jack knocks and Larry says, "Try to remember where my lips were, Debbie." She corrects him to Diane. He answers the door and reluctantly lets Jack in. Jack apologizes as he sees Diane buttoning up. Larry says, "This is Donna." She corrects him again. Jack says, "I'm very charming to meet you," as he shakes her hand.
Rita asks if Robin is a friend of Lawrence's. It takes him a moment to get it and then he's very amused. She says she met Lawrence at the laundrette. She asks if Robin is in the same line of business as Lawrence. Larry answers that Robin is not a fashion photographer.
Diane asks if Jack is in the same business as "Reginald." Larry says Jack is not a talent scout for MGM.
Larry gives Robin/Jack the stuff he's borrowing back. Back on the landing, Robin exclaims, "God's truth!" He's very amused. He apologises for interrupting. Larry says he has plenty of time. She'll miss the last bus because he put his watch back 20 minutes. (I guess she's not wearing one.) Robin says, "Oh, cheeky little Lawrence!"
Larry goes back in, turns the lights down, and puts on soft music. She asks about modeling opportunities. He says, yeah, films, television, radio. They make out on his bed. He says there are lots of opportunities for the right girl with the right attitude. Then she cries, "Something moved!" He mumbles, "Yeah, well." But she saw a mouse. We break for adverts.
On 3'sC we don't get to see much more of Larry's date. Jack says, "Nice meeting you, Denise." Larry corrects him to Dorothy. She says her actual name. And when Jack leaves, he says, "Sorry, Larry." Larry corrects him to Reginald.
The funny thing about Amer-Larry forgetting his date's name is that we later find out that his kid sister is named Diane. And Jenny Sherman will return four seasons from now, playing a character named Ginger.
Ladle: Jack tells Chrissy that if he sleeps in Janet's bed, Chrissy can lock the door if she wants. She says OK at first then realizes he'd be inside the room. She says, "You don't fool me." She's going to sleep alone. Janet goes to bed, too, taking a ladle for protection. (Not the one that turned green on the pilot.) After awhile, Chrissy calls Jack over, but only to hand him a pillow and blankets. He's very frustrated. And we break for commercials.
We'll see: The next morning, Robin/Jack is asleep on the settee/sofa. Brit-Chrissy comes in and draws the curtains. Amer-Chrissy comes in and pulls back the covers. Robin is topless. Jack's feet are on the pillow. Brit-Chrissy says, "Just think. Whoever marries you is going to have to look at that every morning." She rubs his unshaven jaw. "Eugh! Be like sleeping with a Brillo pad." He says he's had no complaints so far. Amer-Chrissy just says, "Blech!"
Brit-Chrissy goes in Robin's room and leaves coffee for Jo. When she returns, Robin complains of a stiff neck. Jack also complains of a stiff neck. Chrissy massages Robin/Jack's neck.
The mousetrap is empty. He says he's not sleeping on the settee/sofa again. She says, "We'll see." When he asks what she means, she says she feels a bit guilty. At this point, Amer-Chrissy starts massaging Jack's stiff knee and back. The Chrissys say Robin/Jack could've slept in Jo/Janet's bed. As for tonight, well, we'll see.
Robin grins after she leaves the room. Jack says, "We'll see. I can't ask for more than that."
Jo comes in with her coffee and asks Robin if he slept well. He has to frown again. Janet comes in, still with the ladle. Jo suggests Robin have his bed back. He says no, she should stay in his room till they find the mouse. Jack says the mouse probably slept at his girlfriend's house.
Jo/Janet answers the door. Brit-Larry wants to borrow the coffee back. He's wearing an Oxford University sweatshirt, which feels out of character, although who's to say where he got it. Amer-Larry wants to borrow a piece of bread. He's getting paid today and he promises to never borrow again. He also wants marmalade. Janet goes to the kitchen, yelling, "Chrissy, Mr. Mooch is back!"
Brit-Larry is going to a race at Kempton Park. He's going to bet on Nothing Doing. After last night, it's got to be an omen. He and Robin smoke together as they talk about Larry's date. Larry says it was real tongue sandwich stuff. But then the mouse showed up. She got hysterical and he slapped her face, so she slapped his face. Amer-Larry also struck out. Jack is surprised, since "the only question was who gets the pillow?" She saw the stupid mouse and got hysterical, then they slapped each other.
Brit-Larry threw his radio at the mouse.
Robin: You mean it's dead?
Larry: Dunno. I switched if off, so.
Amer-Larry killed the mouse in an unspecified manner. Robin/Jack doesn't want Larry to tell the girls the mouse is dead.
Brit-Chrissy brings Larry coffee but he has to hand it back to Robin because he's actually late for the race, his watch still being set back 20 minutes. As Amer-Larry leaves with the bread, he tells Jack, "Mum's the word." When Chrissy asks, "Mum's the word for what?", Jack says, "Chrysanthemums. Don't you know anything?"
State secret: In the entryway, Brit-Larry tells George he killed the mouse. George doesn't want Larry to tell Mildred. As Larry leaves he tells the milkman, "There's something I could tell you, but I'm beginning to think it's a state secret." The milkman isn't listed in the credits, despite his reaction of wide-eyed bewilderment.
Over at the Amer-Ropers', Helen answers the phone and tells Mama the bad news. Stanley comes in and grins at the audience. Then he stops when Helen says no, she doesn't mean Stanley when she says there's a mouse in the house. He goes out to get the paper. Larry runs downstairs and tells him about killing the mouse. Stanley doesn't want Larry to tell Helen. Larry asks, "Was this mouse somebody important?" Stanley says if the mouse dies, he'll have to spend a week with an old bat.
Mr. Roper goes back into his flat/apartment. His wife is still on the phone with her mother. When she hangs up, she says they're going to her mother's for a week. He doesn't want to go because she's only got one bed/bedroom. George will be stuck on the camp bed. Stanley will have to sleep on the porch with the dog. Mrs. Roper says her mother is an old lady. Mildred adds that next time they see her may be at her funeral. George says he wouldn't mind going down (to an unspecified location) for that. Helen says it's now or never. Stanley says he could wait till then. Helen's mother, incidentally, lives in Sacramento. And Mildred by the way, is wearing bright green flared slacks.
Mr. Roper says he just remembered, the young fella in the top flat/Amer-Larry killed the mouse. She says he's not a very convincing/good liar.
High opinion: Robin has Chrissy check on the race in the paper. She says of Nothing Doing, "It was scratched." Jo says, "I suppose it's all those prickly fences they have to jump over." They wonder if she's serious or joking.
Jo: Don't talk about me as if I wasn't here.
Robin: Where did that voice come from? (He and Chrissy look for it on the table.)
Jo: Look, I wouldn't mind if I wasn't, 'cause I wouldn't know. But I am and I do, so don't.
She leaves the room.
The Amer-girls are playing Monopoly. Janet still has the ladle. Jack keeps fake-yawning till they take the hint and decide to finish the game tomorrow. Janet gives Jack a peck on the lips and goes to his bed.
Then Jack says he hopes he sleeps all right, because he has exams tomorrow. If he fails, it'll be an extra year, but it's only his life they're talking about. Chrissy says he can sleep in Janet's bed, and she'll sleep on the sofa. Brit-Chrissy doesn't need the trick of phony exams to make a similar offer to Robin.
Robin: If you think I'm gonna take advantage of a situation like this, then, well, you, you can't have a very high opinion of me.
Jack: All right, I'm gonna level with you, Chrissy. You and I have known each other for a long time, right? Well, if, if you think that I'm the kind of guy who would take advantage of a stiuation, then, uh, I'm afraid that you don't think very highly of me. And it hurts, Chrissy. I'm wounded, but I'll get over it.
Chrissy says Robin/Jack can sleep in Jo/Janet's bed if he promises to behave himself. He says he will but then he goes to shave before he turns in.
Tremendous respect: On MatH we get a quick look at an Easy Rider poster before panning down to Chrissy reading in bed. Amer-Chrissy is reading, too. Robin/Jack knocks and asks if she's respectable/decent before coming in. Robin is wearing a robe and pyjamas. He takes the robe off and says he doesn't normally wear pyjamas. (He might well be sleeping in the nude all those times we see him sleeping topless.) Jack is also wearing a robe and pajamas, plus an ascot! He takes off the robe and ascot.
Robin/Jack talks as Chrissy reads. He gets into Jo/Janet's bed, Robin hugging Jo's teddy. Robin says it's a very nice bed. Jack says the mattress is nice and springy, not too firm. She asks what the smell is. Robin/Jack says it's his aftershave or deodorant. Jack also says mouthwash, but he doesn't think it's his hairspray.
Jack says he never noticed the picture of Chrissy's parents before, with her father in his minister's collar, like he's watching, almost guarding. Jack isn't dissuaded though.
Robin/Jack says this is a nice bed and asks what hers is like. She tells him to keep his mind off her bed. So Robin talks about some bill passing through the committee stage on the floor of the House (of Commons?).
She suggests he get a book. The girls' beds are much further apart on MatH, but Robin walks all the way over to Chrissy's bookcase to browse. He sees Sex and the Single Girl and asks what it's about. She says, "Church architecture." He sits on her bed as he gets another book. He asks about it. She says there's not a lot of plot, since it's a London street guide.
Chrissy: This is a very good book.
Robin: It must be, you're reading it upside-down.
Chrissy: Oh.
She admits she's not really reading. The title of her book looks like The Strange Case of something. Hilariously, the book Amer-Chrissy is reading is Quorum! Unfortunately Jack doesn't notice.
Robin sets down her book and their heads are very close by now.
Robin/Jack: Chrissy?
Chrissy: No.
Robin/Jack: I haven't even asked you yet.
She knows what he's going to ask.
Brit-Chrissy: Look, they say this is the way a girl can lose a man's respect.
Robin: Not mine. I've got tremendous respect for you. And I can feel it coming on right now.
Amer-Chrissy: Jack, I think that maybe this is a mistake. I mean, this is the way a girl can lose a guy's respect.
Jack: (talking in an overexaggerated way) Oh, no, Chrissy, no! I have a tremendous amount of respect for you. I think of you as a sister. Not mine of course, but-- (He laughs.)
Brit-Chrissy asks Robin to go back to Jo's bed. He's holding her hand and says, "Here I go then," but it takes him awhile to go.
Amer-Chrissy: Jack, what can I do to get you to go to sleep?
Jack: Well, as a matter of fact, there is something.
She suggests he read a book. He asks what page they're on.
Chrissy: Jack, get in bed!
Jack: I thought you'd never ask.
She pulls away as he tries to get into her bed.
On MatH, however, Chrissy isn't as definite.
Chrissy: I'd hate myself in the morning.
Robin: OK, fine.
Chrissy: On the other hand, I could lie in till the afternoon. (He turns and grins.)
Robin: That's true.
He comes back but steps on the mousetrap. He falls on her bed, writhing in pain. She tries to get the trap off his foot.
Jack sulkily returns to Janet's bed and steps in the trap. He tells Chrissy to take off the trap.
Tell her, Son: We get a quick little scene in the entryway on MatH. Larry comes home. Mildred comes out and asks if he killed the mouse. George says, "Go on, tell her, Son." So Larry says the mouse is still alive. And Mildred says they're still going to her mother's.
Shut your trap: Robin lies on the settee as Chrissy bandages his foot. Jo is very amused that he stepped in the trap. Jack lies on the sofa as Chrissy massages his foot. Janet says, "Boy, Jack, it serves you right for trying to sleep in our room." Jack says it was completely innocent. "Why don't you girls ever trust me?"
The Larrys come by, the British one for coffee again, while the American saw their light on. When Larry hears about his friend's foot, he asks why they still have the trap when he told him that he killed the mouse last night. Brit-Chrissy has Jo hold Robin's other foot while she tries to put the trap on it. Chrissy just reattaches the trap to Jack's injured foot. Janet hits him with the ladle. After the girls leave the room, Larry tries to take off the trap.
Sacramento: Back at the Ropers', Helen says that Mama is expecting them. Stanley says the plane is too expensive and they should just drive to Sacramento. She agrees, since they can see the countryside and then check into a motel with a waterbed. He decides on the plane after all.
Commentary: This pair of episodes is a good example of how Brit-Chrissy's persona was sort of split in the forming of Amer-Chrissy and Janet. If it's Brit-Chrissy's skeptical, suspicious side, then the lines and situations go to Janet. But if it's about Robin lusting after Brit-Chrissy, then it usually becomes Jack lusting after Amer-Chrissy. The twist in the opening scene is that Robin is lusting after Chrissy and she's skeptical about how much of her nightclothes he can see. It ends up becoming Jack lusting after both girls. And Amer-Chrissy gets the thing about the alarm, because she's closer to Jo's dottiness.
The third season of 3'sC is the middle of the Chrissy years and thus the middle of her dumbing-down. This Chrissy isn't as bright as she was in the first two years, where, like Jo, she was more Gracie Allen or Phoebe on Friends than, say, Kelly Bundy. (And Kelly was sharper her first year or two.) By this point, Chrissy has the snort-laugh and the hair in ponytails, but she's not a borderline idiot like she will be that Fall. Had this episode been adapted the previous season, Chrissy might not have fallen for Jack's manipulation so easily. Yes, Brit-Chrissy falls for it, too, but there's something more complicated going on there.
Robin/Jack is dishonest, using the no longer living mouse to create a situation where Chrissy will have to share her bedroom with him. Jack is more dishonest in that he also makes up the lie about his exams. Yet, in some ways Robin is more manipulative. He spends more time in Chrissy's bed (minutes rather than seconds) and he plays on her feelings for him. Amer-Chrissy is not at all tempted by Jack. She worries about losing his respect merely from sharing the bedroom with him. Brit-Chrissy, however, is very tempted, although she might lose both his respect and her self-respect. When Robin and Jack talk about respect, bear in mind how Robin in particular has previously used language to confuse emotion with lust. Also, the way Robin/Jack tries to guilt Chrissy about not trusting him is especially manipulative because she in fact shouldn't trust him in this instance.
Again, it's unclear if either Chrissy is a virgin, although third-season Amer-Chrissy is definitely more innocent in every way than first-season. Brit-Chrissy's wilder side is suggested by her poster of '60s movie rebels and by her Helen Gurley Brown book. Amer-Chrissy is at least curious about sex, since she's reading Jack's "dirty" book. Robin emphasises that he's not a virgin, with his remark about nobody so far complaining about how he looks in the morning. As for Jack, you have to remember that the ascot used to be a symbol of sophistication and/or coolness, although it was a bit dated by then. (Some time between Scooby-Doo's Fred and '80s 3'sC landlord Mr. Furley, it became unfashionable, although it didn't yet "look gay." The bully on "Colour Me Yellow" wears one.)
The mousetrap is probably symbolic, since Robin/Jack is trying to trap Chrissy, not unlike the spider & fly dynamic a couple MatH episodes ago. Robin gets trapped when Chrissy finally agrees to let him share her bed, while Jack falls into the trap when Chrissy tells him no after all his best laid plans. Of course, they're not the only men setting traps that capture them.
In Mr. Roper's case, he doesn't want her mother to visit and he thinks the mouse will discourage her. We're encouraged to sympathize with him, fourth-wall-breaking Stanley in particular. George is treated like an unwanted guest when he visits his mother-in-law, but Stanley has it worse, since he has to sleep with her dog. This time he's threatened with the possibility of sex with his wife on a waterbed! Even on MatH, which is generally more on Mrs. Roper's side, we're not supposed to worry about poor Mildred, caught in the middle between her mother and her husband. We know she'd choose her mum, and she scoffs at the idea of George being master of the house. So Mr. Roper can only get his way by tricking his wife. This is in contrast to Robin, who might be able to get Chrissy if he were more honest.
The third male schemer is Larry. This is our first time seeing Brit-Larry with a girl, not counting Liz's friend Sheila. We find out that Larry lies to girls as much or maybe even more than Robin does. At least Robin never lies to girls about his job, and in fact got in trouble when he tried to tell Maddie the truth. Amer-Larry is even worse, lying about his name. (Although apparently Brit-Larry does that, too, according to a summary of an upcoming episode.) The Larrys are confused about why their friends and landlords want them to lie about the mice, but they certainly don't object. They unfortunately forget to lie for their friends when it most counts, and when Brit-Larry lies for George, it backfires. We also find out that the Larrys are mooches, although they're more direct about that. Having the Larrys live upstairs makes the lying, the mooching, and the mice more plausible than if they still lived elsewhere.
These episodes perfectly demonstrate Jo and Janet's different attitudes towards the possibility of romance between the other roommates. Jo honestly doesn't care. She thinks it'd be fair for Robin to have her bed if she's taking his, and she just thinks it's funny that Robin stepped in the trap. Janet, on the other hand, has always been more protective of Chrissy and distrustful of Jack, so it's significant that she doesn't know about Jack tricking Chrissy with the fake exams. She says being caught in the trap serves him right for his scheming.
A couple other things of note. I like how, again, there's a sense of continuity on MatH, with Jo mentioning Larry decorating, from a couple weeks ago. I also like the detail of Chrissy's grandfather's farm, because her cousin Cindy will turn out to be a country girl, and they have at least one aunt who lives on a farm. And it's notable that Robin again works in a random political comment, with his mention of the bill in the House.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
"I Won't Dance, Don't Ask Me..."/"Up in the Air"
The Americans took their sweet time getting around to adapting the 16th episode of MatH, waiting till the penultimate episode of the sixth season of 3'sC. It was worth the wait though, and in fact was John Ritter's favorite episode. "I Won't Dance, Don't Ask Me" aired 23 October 1974, while "Up in the Air" appeared almost eight years later, on May 4, 1982. The latter placed #5 in the ratings. And it is a "Janet" plot, but Amer-Chrissy had left the show by then and it fits Janet better than it would Terri. In fact, Terri isn't in the episode much, although she has her minor role to play. The majority of the episode is set outside the apartment, but we'll get to that.
Goldie Hawn and Cheetah: When the British girls come home, Jo is rabbiting on about clothes. Chrissy admits she isn't listening. Their company is having a staff dance. Chrissy wants to go with Peter, but he's going with another girl. Chrissy's second choice, Steve, asked Jo.
Robin comes home with hot pot (stew), presumably made at school. He goes in the kitchen.
Jo suggests Chrissy ask Ginger the office boy, but he's only 4'6".
Meanwhile, Terri is lying on the couch, reading. Jack comes home from a lousy day. Terri tells him about her book, Hold Fast My Heart, which features a Jesuit priest, Father Lance, who gives up his true love to work among the down and out. Jack reads a bit and sees the phrase "the human refuse cast upon the shores of society." He sarcastically exclaims, "Oo, I can't wait to see the movie!"
While Jack's in the kitchen, Janet comes home. She had a bad day, too. She says, "If I felt any better, I'd go throw myself under a truck." David, the dreamboat she met at her flower shop, the one who let her drive his Ferrari, today invited her to a formal party at his weekend home. Unfortunately, he told her to bring a date.
Chrissy goes in the kitchen and tells Robin she might be able to arrange for him to go out with his favourite girl. He says, "You have influence with Goldie Hawn?" She tells him she means herself. He points out, "For months I've been asking you out. You always say we mustn't get involved, we share the same flat."
Janet really likes David. Terri suggests she make him jealous. Janet says that would be childish and immature, hence, "I like that."
Terri: Be sure to invite someone who's really sexy and gorgeous.
Janet: Do you know anybody like that?
Under the Lenny & Squiggy Rule of American sitcoms, Jack comes in, eating a banana, not unlike Robin in the British credits. It takes Janet a little while to say, "What about Cheetah here?" Terri thinks he's better than nothing. They examine him, Terri even tapping his teeth, to his confusion.
Chrissy explains to Robin that she's inviting him to the staff annual dance on Saturday. She'll pay for the tickets, 3 pound 50. He says there are times when women's lib makes sense. He asks if she'll buy him some chocolates as well. She says, "I might, if you let me get you in a shop door afterwards." He giggles girlishly. Then, leaning in the doorway after she's gone back to the lounge, he says, "I knew it, you just want my body, don't you?" She says, "Well, I haven't quite decided, but bring it with you, just in case."
Janet: I've been invited to this really formal party Saturday night and I want you to be my date.
Jack: (embracing her with the hand that's not holding his banana) Oh, Janet, after all these years, you've finally come around.
Janet: (pulling away and patting his shoulder) Easy, Jack, I just need you as a decoy for David.
Terri explains about the jealousy thing. Jack cries, "Oh, I feel so used!"
Jo tells Robin he's not Chrissy's first choice, or second. Robin asks Chrissy, "You sure old Roper didn't turn you down as well?" She says she didn't want to go with one of those smooth types from work. He says, "You fancied a bit of rough."
Janet begs Jack. She says she'd help him if he needed her for anything. So he starts to whisper what he needs. She hits him and then begs some more, till he agrees to go to the party.
Complications: Then Robin finds out that the dancing at the staff dance will be strict tempo, with the waltz. The girls think he can't dance.
Robin: Listen, I can move it about with the best of them.
Chrissy: You're not supposed to move it about in strict tempo. You're supposed to keep it still.
When Chrissy's out of the room, Jo says that there'll be the hokey-cokey as well. "That's the one where you put it in and shake it all about." Robin grins and says, "Yeah, yeah, that sounds more like it."
He asks about Peter. Jo says he's the assistant managing dreamboat, tall, good-looking, and a smashing dancer.
None of their records are strict tempo. You can't foxtrot to Tony Hancock and "The Blood Donor" (apparently a fondly remembered 1961 episode of Mr. Hancock's comedy show). Robin says he'll go down to the Ropers to borrow some records.
Jack has a more serious problem. David's weekend home is just off the coast on a little island, and the guests will be arriving on a single-engine private plane.
Janet and Terri go to their room, talking about going shopping for an outfit for Janet to wear to the party. Larry drops by. (By this point, Amer-Larry is a regular and has been in the opening credits for a couple of years.) Jack wants Larry to go in his place, but Larry has plans. Jack says he doesn't have a tux. When Larry suggests Jack rent one, Jack exclaims, "If you don't have anything helpful to say, why don't you just shut your mouth?"
He confesses to Larry that he's afraid to fly, and has never flown before. (Remember, his parents live in San Diego, so he just drives down to see them. And I guess he never flew in the Navy.)
Larry has Jack sit in a chair as Larry dramatizes the flight. Jack says the bumpy ride is "like riding in one of your used cars." When Larry leans the chair back, Jack panics and bails at 4000 feet.
He's so upset he whimpers. Larry offers Jack his tranquilizers, which he needs as a used car salesman. Terri returns as Larry goes upstairs to get the tranquilizers. When Jack admits about the pills, asking her not to tell Janet, Terri is very concerned. She's a nurse and she knows how dangerous it can be to take drugs that aren't prescribed for you. She makes him promise he won't take one.
Larry returns when Terri's out of the room. He tosses Jack the bottle. Jack says, "I'll take two." And we cut to a commercial.
It's all set up for Jack and Janet to go to the party, and indeed almost all of the rest of the episode takes place at David's weekend home. But MatH has some more set-up to do.
Tango: Downstairs at the Ropers', Mildred is reading Hold Fast My Heart. When Robin comes by, she tells him it's "all about this young Jesuit priest who looks after all the down-and-outs," the "human refuse cast upon the shores of society."
When Robin wants to borrow records, she says she has no modern stuff, not even Victor Silvester ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victor_Silvester ). It turns out that Robin has never heard of Guy Lombardo. (How is that possible? Hell, I'd probably heard of Guy Lombardo in 1974.) He has heard of Dennis Lotis ( http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0521471/ ) and Lita Roza ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lita_Roza ).
She has him move the coffee table and she teaches him to dance. When she tells him what to do with his left foot, he says, "Which left foot? I've got two, you see." At first, he mirrors what she's doing. Then she has him do touch-dancing. He asks where Mr. Roper is. George is at the British Legion ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British_legion ). She says Robin is stiff as a poker, no, not in that sense.
George comes home. He's mildly surprised, not at all jealous, to see them dancing. He says he used to love the tango himself. They used to clear the floor when he danced. She says they had to, "Proper little dodge 'em car you were." She has him tango with her. "Come on, George, you pretend to be the man."
Robin leaves but they don't notice because they're too into their dance. Mildred dips George and says, "Ha ha! You've still got it, you little devil!" He whimpers. They disappear from view, so when Robin pokes his head in the door, we're not quite sure why he looks amused and then shocked.
Ginger Rogers: We next see Robin practising dancing, with a book, as Jo looks on. When Chrissy comes home, he tells her it'd be easier if he had one black foot and one white (to match the diagrams). He's figured out he needs three feet for the reverse turn. Chrissy says, "What about the poor girl? We have to do it backwards." (No, she doesn't say "in heels.")
Jo notices that Chrissy has bought a green dress, Peter's favourite colour. Robin says he prefers Chrissy in green. She tells him, "Well, hard luck." Jo tells her not to take it out on Robin, who's been practising hard all day. Jo has never heard such foul language.
He has Jo put a record on. He dances with Chrissy, his hand on her bottom at first. When they're done, she says she appreciates him taking this trouble to learn. But she wants him to get a haircut.
Mr. Roper comes by and wants to sell Robin his old dinner jacket. Robin didn't know the dance is black tie. He now refuses to go, and this is where we break for adverts.
How could he lose?: When we return though, he comes out of his room in a dinner jacket in bad condition. Mr. Roper says it was nine quid originally. Mrs. Roper comes in as her husband says Robin can have the whole thing for four quid, including the celluloid dickey (the white piece that's curling up). She scolds him. She's thrown the dinner jacket out twice. She tells Robin he looks ridiculous and he should take it off, which he gratefully does. (I've lost track of the number times Robin has some reason to partially strip off.)
Mildred returns the book to Chrissy. She enjoyed it so much she cried. Chrissy says she didn't get beyond the first chapter. As soon as she saw a row of asterisks (meaning something sexual that was omitted), she went right off it. Mildred used her imagination.
She says it's about a young Jesuit priest who wrestles with himself and finally wins. Jo asks, "How could he lose?" The priest gives up the girl because of his love for all men. Robin says, "Yes, I know the type," and makes a "queen" face.
George says he might come down to three quid, maybe even down to two quid. Mildred says, "You'll come down to the bin and throw it out."
After the Ropers leave, Robin says he can't go because he has no penguin suit. Chrissy says, "Wrong."
Liquorice allsort: It's Saturday night and the trio are getting ready, Jo in Chrissy's gold earrings that she borrowed without asking first. Chrissy is wearing a lowcut yellow dress, possibly the one from "When the Cat's Away."
Robin enters in black tie. Jo says, "Oh, who's the pretty boy then," like he's a puppy or a budgie. He says, "Don't you start." He tells Chrissy he feels like a penguin, and a liquorice allsort. He plans to tell everyone at the dance that the tux is hired, so they won't think he dresses like this all the time. She of course doesn't want that. And she nags him about whether or not he got a haircut. Jo says, "Listen, you two don't have to argue. You're not married."
Robin admits that the outfit does give a sophisticated feeling. Then Chrissy tells him don't have too much to drink, don't use any bad language, and don't tell any of his awful jokes. "Just enjoy yourself."
Something to gossip about: When the trio and Steve come into the club where the staff dance is being held, we see that Jo's dress is backless except for gold chains. With her hair up, she looks very sophisticated.
The Ambrose Quilby Four, as themselves, are providing music. (Their only screen appearance.) This is in contrast to David's party, where the music is provided by unseen musicians (radio? stereo?) and will change willy-nilly.
Guests are dressed formally at both places, perhaps even more formally on 3'sC, because it's the '80s and because David and his friends are rich. (It's hard to judge since some of the fashions are horrible, as suits both decades, and I can't tell what's supposed to be high-end.)
The club that the firm has hired is rather generic, tables and a bit of space to dance. David's living room (the main part of his house we see, although there are some visits to the patio) is posh but warm, with red and brown tones, plants, and modern art on the walls. We get to see it before Jack and Janet arrive, and this sets up two important points for the plot. There's an older couple that the end credits identify as the Peabodys. Mrs. Peabody says, "David, I was just telling your sister Nancy that this is a lovely party." Now, nobody talks like that. You'd either say "your sister" or "Nancy," not both. Unless you're on a farce and you want to let the audience in on things. Mrs. Peabody is played by Gertrude Flynn, who was on everything from The Twilight Zone to Growing Pains. Paul Marin plays her husband, who will have less to do but still have his moment, and he has a similar resume, ranging from The Untouchables to Ellen.
Nancy is a pretty blonde in a red gown with sparkles. She's played by Lauree Berger, who did a few other guest shots, mostly in the 1980s. David is in black tie and played by none other than Barry Williams, AKA Greg Brady! Barry was 27 at the time and had already done two Brady reunion shows, although he'd mostly switched to musical theater by then. (And Greg Brady had become an obstetrician.)
When the doorbell rings, the maid answers. We learn in the credits that she's named Bridget, a pretty stereotypical name for a maid, but the actress is named Dean Taliaferro, much more unuusal. Dean has only one other credit on IMDB, as a bank customer in 1981's Pennies from Heaven.
Janet is wearing a long blue off-the-shoulder dress with poofy sleves, as well as a pearl necklace. Jack is in a tux. She observes that he's mellow tonight. He says he took a tranquilizer. She's understandably worried. She stops him from taking a drink from the maid. As Bridget walks away, Jack puns, "Maid to order." Janet warns him that tranquilizers and liquor don't mix.
Meanwhile, Robin doesn't understand how coat check works, that you're supposed to tip afterwards. Jo notices that Robin and Chrissy have been assigned a separate table from her. They'll be with Marjorie and Denise, whom Chrissy calls the firm's jungle drums. Robin tells Chrissy, "Let's give them something to gossip about, eh?" Chrissy says that both girls will be with their boyfriends, one an architect, the other a chartered accountant. She doesn't want Robin to let on he's only a cookery student.
Jack observes, "Look at this crowd. You can almost smell the money." He wants to invite some of them to Angelino's, the restaurant where he works. (True to his statement on the pilot, he indeed graduated from cooking school in 1980.) Janet doesn't want him to tell anyone he's a chef, in order to make a good impresson. She asks if he understands. He says, "Of course, Punkin....You're ashamed of me."
When they walk down the wide set of stairs to the living room, he keeps descending. You'd think Janet would be more worried about that than what he does for a living.
You must be so proud: Robin and Chrissy go over to their table. They sit with Chrissy's coworkers, as well as Nigel the architect and Stuart the chartered accountant. Nigel is played by John Colclough, who will return to MatH as Ted.
One girl cattily says, "I do like your dress, Chrissy. Such a saving if you're handy with a sewing machine." Chrissy says something catty back but I don't quite catch it.
The men ask Robin if he plays tennis or squash, but he says he has no time in his line of businesss, Jesuit priest. Chrissy almost does a spit take when she hears that. He says he works among the down-and-outs, the human refuse cast upon the shores of society. The other girl notices that he's not wearing "a dog collar." He says she's thinking of the Dominicans. Robin talks about what he does for the poor.
When the other two couples are dancing, Chrissy says she could murder him. She snaps, "Don't you dare tell anyone else you're a Jesuit priest!" So when Peter comes over, Robin says, Bless you, My Son," but then says he's a brain surgeon who helps the flotsam cast upon the the shores of society. Peter asks Chrissy to dance, and they leave while Robin's still talking.
Chrissy asks if Peter's girlfriend will mind. He says that's his sister, who's staying for a fortnight. He asks if her boyfriend will mind. "Oh, it makes no difference to him. He's a Jesuit priest." (Jesuit priests do take a vow of celibacy, but Robin's right that they don't have an official habit.)
David and Nancy come over to welcome Jack and Janet. David kisses her hand. She says Jack wanted to go to Acapulco for the weekend, but she persuaded him to come here instead. He's "the Jack Tripper."
David: I'm David Winthrop. This is Nancy. Nancy is--
Jack: Very beautiful. How do you do?"
While looking at Nancy, Jack kisses David's hand. David pulls his hand away.
Then Janet pulls all of Jack away, to remind him he's supposed to be with her. When they go back, he says that Janet is really something. Then he sweeps her down for a kiss. She hits him to make him stop. She says, "Sometimes he can't help himself." Somewhat angrily, David says, "Looks like he just did."
Nancy excuses herself. David takes Jack and Janet to meet two of the guests. Mark is in banking and Robert's an investment counselor. David leaves Jack and Janet with them. Mark is played by Rick Edwards, who would go on to star in Santa Barbara. He seems to be the blond man here. Robert is played by Thom Fleming, who a couple years later competed on Star Search.
Loopy Jack waves his hands and then mimes a tennis serve. Robert asks if Jack plays tennis. Jack says he doesn't have much chance to play in his line of work. Janet does do a spit take when he says he's a Jesuit priest.
A couple strolls by, arm in arm. Jack asks, "Is this your first time on The Love Boat?" This is particularly funny because John Ritter had appeared on The Love Boat himself and would return a year after this episode. (Priscilla Barnes, AKA Terri, did three guest shots, five if you count two-parters, mostly after 3'sC. Richard Kline, AKA Larry, did four episodes. Audra Lindley did an impressive eight, with a couple two-parters. Middle-blonde-roommate Jenilee Harrison did five, counting a two-parter. Post-Ropers landlord Don Knotts did two. Norman Fell and Joyce DeWitt each did one. And Suzanne Somers did one back in '77, when both LB and 3'sC were very new.) LB was also an ABC show, and it ran three years past 3'sC. The Pacific Princess would sail between L.A. and Acapulco, very appropriate.
Janet glares at Jack and says she's going to kill him. David returns and asks if they're having fun. Janet says they always have fun when they're together. Jack sings, "And we'll have fun fun fun till her--", moving into falsetto for the fun's. Janet elbows his stomach to get him to stop singing.
David notices that Jack doesn't have a drink. Jack says he can't. David says, "Teetotaller?" Jack says, "No, brain surgeon." He's got surgery tomorrow at 5 a.m.
Janet asks to see the rest of the house. David escorts her across the living room. Jack talks about how he does most of his work among the down and out. Janet glares at him over her shoulder. Jack yawns.
Over on MatH, there's a dissolve and the men are now all wearing party hats, white bowlers with colourful geometric shapes. Robin asks Jo to dance but, despite her encouragement earlier, she says he's a rotten dancer. He says at least she's honest, "I hate that in a woman." She says he can't turn and they'd plow straight through the band. He says someone should.
Peter returns Chrissy. Robin says to her, "You will save me one dance, will you? Even if it's only 'God Save the Queen.' " (Wikipedia says, "Until the latter part of the 20th century, theatre and concert goers were expected to stand to attention while the anthem was played after the conclusion of a show.") She apologises for leaving him on his own.
He says he wasn't, he was talking to "this big fat lady in pink." Then of course we see the lady. The end credits call her Mrs. James, and Peggy Ann Clifford has credits going back to 1944 and in fact played a fat prospective bride in Kind Hearts and Coronets (1949). At least her character gets a name here, rather than "Large Lady in Station Crowd," "Fat Lady," and similar roles. Mrs. James says, "You must be so proud of him. So young to be a member of Parliament. And all that work among the down and out."
David and Janet step out onto the patio. We see potted plants and a railing. She says it's really pretty. "And, um, Nancy is certainly pretty." He says, "I may be prejudiced, but I think she's beautiful." We can see the hurt and disappointment in her face. She says she should be getting back to Jack. David is confused since they just left Jack. She says Jack gets insanely jealous when she's out of his sight.
Jack is now reclining on the sofa. Nancy comes over as Janet steps back into the room. Jack is happy to see Nancy, but Janet snuggles up against him.
Janet: Did you miss me, Honey?
Jack: When?
Janet pretends he's kidding. Nancy excuses herself again.
The Peabodys come over. Mrs. Peabody tells Janet, "You must be so proud of your man. So young to be a Congressman." Janet looks ticked off. Jack feigns modesty. After the Peabodys leave, Jack says, just barely audible under the laughter, "Well, I feel that America is in a transition now." (Reagan had been elected a year-and-a-half before this episode aired, and America was indeed in transition. Ironically, in '79 John Ritter played a presciently Clintonian president in the fascinating box office bomb Americathon, set in 1998.)
Janet yanks Jack by his jacket and threatens, "Listen, Congressman. You do one more thing to embarrass me tonight and I will never speak to you again." He asks, "Does that mean you won't vote for me?" She stomps off.
I will dance: Then we get a whole sequence that has absolutely no counterpart on MatH. Jack tries to stand up but he falls, twice. Mark asks, "Say, what's the matter, Father?" Jack replies, "Just a little groggy, My Son, but nothing to worry about." Mark hands Jack his own special pick-me-up, the Rocket. "One sip of this and you blast off." Jack is reluctant at first, then he says he'll have maybe just a sip. He of course downs most of it.
The Rocket kicks in as he's yawning. His eyes and mouth go wide, like he's on fire. Then his eyes cross and his head shakes. He takes several hors d'oeuvres off the tray the maid brings by, pocketing them for later. Then he takes the tray. What Chris Mann in Come and Knock on Our Door describes as "a medley of show tunes and funk music" comes on from the unseen source. Jack throws hors d'oeuvres at the other guests.
He bumps into Janet. He cries, "Janet, My Love!" and smooches her. She again hits him.
Janet: Have you seen the patio?
Jack: Why? Is there one missing?
Janet: (as she tugs him across the floor) Your brains are.
Out on the patio, Jack gets down with the music. Then he tries to dance with both Janet and Mrs. Peabody, the latter surprisingly cooperative. When Jack spins Janet out and says, "Work with me, Janet!", she scolds, "No, stop!" He says, "I can't! I got the music in me. Strut with me, Mama!", and dances Mrs. Peabody back into the living room. (The last part of the line was apparently Ritter's ad-lib.) Mrs. Peabody accidentally knocks the toupee off her husband's head. Jack pets it and calls it Kitty.
When the music shifts into a '30s tune of the "Putting on the Ritz" type, Jack dances across the floor, including with Brigitte. He kisses her and she wipes off her mouth, although she doesn't stop dancing. He gets up on a small table and dances with a tap-shoe sound. He also kisses and dances with a lamp.
The medley switches to drums, so Jack dances on the bar. He falls, taking a plant with him. He emerges with the plant on his head, a la Carmen Miranda. He shakes a drink-mixer in time with the maracas. He reclines on the bar and then dances around some more, including up the stairs, sliding down the banister.
He takes the toupee, puts it on the plant, and then puts the plant on Mr. Peabody's head. He takes Mr. Peabody's cane and dances upstairs, to the '30s tune again. He tosses another plant out of its wicker basket and puts the basket on as a hat. He dances down the stairs. He runs across the room, jumps onto a chair, and falls over. The audience is going crazy with laughter and applause the entire three minutes.
Sister: I don't notice David during the sequence, although I see Nancy. (It's hard to watch anyone but John Ritter when he's doing a show-stopper.) David now goes out to Janet on the patio. Yes, Janet has missed the entire spectacle, which is probably just as well, considering how embarrased she would be. David says nothing about what Jack has just done and instead asks her to dance. She asks if Nancy would mind. He says, "Why would my sister mind?" Janet is surprised and pleased to find out that Nancy is his sister.
David: Didn't I tell you she was my sister when I introduced you?
Janet: No!
David: Oh, that's right. Your boyfriend wouldn't give me a chance.
Janet: I don't have a boyfriend.
They move in for a kiss, but the camera cuts away, darn it.
Peter brings over his "kid sister" Maddie and then he dances with Chrissy again. Maddie says, "Looks as though I've been dumped on you." Robin now looks at her and smiles, seeing she's a pretty brunette. She doesn't dance to "this stuff." She feels like a fish out of water. He says, "Meet a penguin."
They have something else in common. She's a student of Domestic Science. He says he's a cookery student, third year. He invites her over to see his recipes.
Meanwhile, Jack is sitting on the sofa, his head in his hands. Nancy comes over and wipes his brow with a wet towel. He says he feels so ashamed. She says he's like a breath of fresh air. "My brother's parties are always so full of phonies." He's surprised and pleased to find out that David is her brother.
He wants to talk about her. She's a Home Ec teacher. He happily tells her he's a chef.
And then David comes over.
David: Dr. Tripper, I thought you had surgery in the morning.
Nancy: Doctor?
David: Man's a brain surgeon. Well, I must be getting back to Janet.
Then Mrs. Peabody wants to talk to the Congressman. Nancy says he just told her he's a chef. She thinks he says anything to get what he wants.
Things unravel on MatH, too. Robin is called a Jesuit priest, a brain surgeon, and a member of Parliament. Maddie thinks he's a compulsive liar.
Robin: But I am a cookery student!
Mrs. James: How do you fit that in with your Parliamentary duties?
Jack: I really am a chef!
Mrs. Peabody: How do you fit that in with all your Congressional work?
Robin says he was hired from an escort agency, Rent-a-Bloke, 50p an hour. (Ten pence more than Jo makes babysitting.) He gives up and goes home.
Nancy joins Janet and David on the patio, where they're holding the drinks that David brought out.
Janet: I heard you've been talking to Jack.
Nancy: Oh, you mean Jack-of-all-trades?
Janet admits that Jack is a chef. So Nancy says she's going "back to the chef." Shimmying her shoulders, she says, "We're gonna cook."
Nancy apologizes to Jack for not believing him. He suggests a long walk on the beach. But he falls asleep with his head on her shoulder.
That's what it's all about: The next morning, we find out that Jo got back at 1. Chrissy isn't in yet. Robin is amused, and Jo says he has a nasty, suspicious mind. Chrissy comes in, carrying a milk bottle and wearing last night's outfit.
Robin says, "If you want to spend the whole night with this Peter, it's entirely up to you." She did spend it with Peter, in outpatients. "He wrenched it as he was shaking it all about in the Hokey-Cokey." Peter's "it" is his ankle.
When Janet gets home, Terri is asleep on the couch with her book. She wakes up and asks Janet about the party. Janet says David's date was his sister. Terri is happy for Janet. Then the girls help get a still groggy Jack into the apartment. When he finds out it's 4:30, he worries, "Oh my God! I've got brain surgery at 5!" He runs into the door and passes out on the floor.
Commentary: Although I've tagged this for RCST, it is fairly mild compared to some episodes. We do have Robin joking that Chrissy only wants his body, and her saying she hasn't decided, but bring it just in case. When he says she fancies a bit of rough, the implication is she wants to have sex with someone from a lower social class. Even their bickering suggests they're like a married couple. But once they're at the dance, they don't interact all that much. She distances herself from him and is much less embarrassed by him than Janet is by Jack, but then Robin doesn't do as wild things as Jack does.
It's arguable that the American show has JJST, although in their case it's been years rather than months. After all, Robin is only Chrissy's third choice for an escort, while Jack is the first person Janet thinks of when she needs a "sexy and gorgeous" date. He's joking when he implies he needs sex from her, but on the other hand I don't think he'd tell her no.
Both Chrissy and Janet get annoyed with their male roommates, to the point of threatening murder. It's obviously just a figure of speech, but I should note that Janet hits Jack a lot in this episode. To be fair, this is usually when he's kissing her against her will. (Yes, she wants to make David jealous, but not with excessive physical displays.)
The roommates' interest in the brother-and-sister pairs is more prominent than their interest in each other. It's notable that Maddie turning out to be Peter's sister is less of a big deal than the farce of Nancy being David's. On 3'sC, it's set up and drawn out, with the usual misunderstandings. It's also more important to the two potential couples when it's resolved.
We learn more about David than we do about Peter. Peter is an assistant manager, he likes the colour green, and he has a sister, that's about it. Of course, with a recognizable sitcom star, it feels like we (or at least those of us who've watched a lot of '70s sitcoms) already know David before we meet him. Not only does he get far more lines than Peter, but he is host of the party, rather than just another staff member at the dance. His wealth is part of his attraction-- note that Janet had admired Lloyd Cross's Maserati and now likes driving David's Ferrari-- but he is also considerate and charming. Unlike Lloyd, he actually is a nice guy, even putting up with Jack's shenanigans. He doesn't even mind when he finds out that Janet has lied to him. Maybe he's flattered. Certainly they have a happier ending than Chrissy and Peter.
Jack is immediately attracted to Nancy, calling her very beautiful and trying to kiss her hand. Robin is less obvious (and less drunk), but it's clear he's attracted to Maddie. Both couples are drawn together by a shared love of cooking and a shared dislike of pretension. Jack gets a second chance with Nancy, even if he does fall asleep, while Maddie never finds out that she was the one person Robin was telling the truth to. We don't see as much of Maddie as we do of Nancy, but there is chemistry between her and Robin, and I like knowing that Alison Hughes will return a couple times, as Linda. (I'm guessing she'll play Robin's girlfriend, since Linda was Jack's recurring girlfriend.)
The Amer-Ropers were long gone by this point, having been spun off onto The Ropers (based on George & Mildred). Even if they weren't, I can't imagine them tangoing, but it seems perfectly in character for the Brit-Ropers. Since Jack doesn't have fears about dancing-- quite the opposite!-- the dancing lesson doesn't need to be translated. And it's a simple matter to give Mildred's book to Terri. I like how, unlike the other spicy books Mrs. Roper reads, this one actually impacts the plots of both episodes. (I thought Hold Fast My Heart was supposed to be a Thorn Birds parody, but it turns out that that book didn't get published till three years after MatH16. The popular miniseries didn't come out till 1983.)
I suppose I should say something about money/class issues. Robin, despite being "the boss's son," in this episode at least likes to present himself as low class, "a bit of rough" who doesn't like to wear a tux. When Chrissy wants him to deny himself, by not only behaving at the dance but not admitting he's a student, he rebels by concocting not one but three fantastic careers. In Jack's case, you'd think being a chef would be respectable enough, but not at this party, or so Janet thinks. Jack is reacting to not only Janet's classism but to the combined tranquilizer(s) and alcohol. (Did he disobey Terri and take just one, or did he have two?) He rebels not just by claiming Robin's three careers (Parliament changed to Congress of course), but also by playing Fred Astaire. I like that Janet is the one to admit that Jack is a chef, although considering that Nancy is a Home Ec teacher, the Winthrops won't mind.
It is brave of Janet, since she's trying to impress a dreamboat rather than her coworkers and their boyfriends. Also, the class divide is sharper on 3'sC, where you can smell the money. An architect and a chartered accountant would be upper middle-class at most, while a banker and an investment counselor could be quite well-off, particularly in the '80s. Also, "Peabody" is a more stereotypically rich last name than "James." Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous wouldn't start airing till 1984, but already on this 3'sC episode we can see the shift from the '70s, where it was sort of cool to be working-class (or act like it), with casual clothes and a casual attitude.
Not only is dance important in these episodes, but so is song. The MatH title, with its ellipses, comes from the 1930s song "I Won't Dance." One of the lines is "Say, you know what? You're lovely," close to what Jack says to Nancy. And a line from the chorus goes, "I know that music leads to romance." It doesn't on either episode, since Mildred dances with Robin and George, neither of whom seem to want a romance with her, while Jack dances with an elderly married woman, the maid, and a lamp. Another song referenced is of course the Beach Boys' "Fun Fun Fun." There's also a quick mention of Kiki Dee's 1975 song "I Got the Music in Me." Jack's musical references tend to be either contemporary or ones that he'd have heard as a Baby Boomer growing up in the '50s and '60s. MatH, on the other hand, delights in shout-outs to entertainers and entertainment from the '30s and '40s even more than those from the '50s and '60s. The Hokey-Cokey, with all its variants of names, allegedly dates from the '40s. And of course "God Save the Queen" is even older.
The most striking contrast between these two episodes is that when Robin's had enough, he just walks out. Jack, and Janet and all the guests, are trapped on David's island until the plane returns for them. This makes Jack's outrageousness even better, and it explains Janet's stress and anger. (Well, and Janet is just very high-strung, more so as 3'sC goes on.)
Lastly, alcohol and tranquilizers don't mix! Listen to Janet, she lives with a nurse. You might end up entertaining a group of not-so-stuffy rich people and winning over a cute blonde teacher. OK, it was the cusp of the Just Say No era, but drugs were still funny. Heck, they still are under the right circumstances. As we shall see on a future pair of episodes....
Goldie Hawn and Cheetah: When the British girls come home, Jo is rabbiting on about clothes. Chrissy admits she isn't listening. Their company is having a staff dance. Chrissy wants to go with Peter, but he's going with another girl. Chrissy's second choice, Steve, asked Jo.
Robin comes home with hot pot (stew), presumably made at school. He goes in the kitchen.
Jo suggests Chrissy ask Ginger the office boy, but he's only 4'6".
Meanwhile, Terri is lying on the couch, reading. Jack comes home from a lousy day. Terri tells him about her book, Hold Fast My Heart, which features a Jesuit priest, Father Lance, who gives up his true love to work among the down and out. Jack reads a bit and sees the phrase "the human refuse cast upon the shores of society." He sarcastically exclaims, "Oo, I can't wait to see the movie!"
While Jack's in the kitchen, Janet comes home. She had a bad day, too. She says, "If I felt any better, I'd go throw myself under a truck." David, the dreamboat she met at her flower shop, the one who let her drive his Ferrari, today invited her to a formal party at his weekend home. Unfortunately, he told her to bring a date.
Chrissy goes in the kitchen and tells Robin she might be able to arrange for him to go out with his favourite girl. He says, "You have influence with Goldie Hawn?" She tells him she means herself. He points out, "For months I've been asking you out. You always say we mustn't get involved, we share the same flat."
Janet really likes David. Terri suggests she make him jealous. Janet says that would be childish and immature, hence, "I like that."
Terri: Be sure to invite someone who's really sexy and gorgeous.
Janet: Do you know anybody like that?
Under the Lenny & Squiggy Rule of American sitcoms, Jack comes in, eating a banana, not unlike Robin in the British credits. It takes Janet a little while to say, "What about Cheetah here?" Terri thinks he's better than nothing. They examine him, Terri even tapping his teeth, to his confusion.
Chrissy explains to Robin that she's inviting him to the staff annual dance on Saturday. She'll pay for the tickets, 3 pound 50. He says there are times when women's lib makes sense. He asks if she'll buy him some chocolates as well. She says, "I might, if you let me get you in a shop door afterwards." He giggles girlishly. Then, leaning in the doorway after she's gone back to the lounge, he says, "I knew it, you just want my body, don't you?" She says, "Well, I haven't quite decided, but bring it with you, just in case."
Janet: I've been invited to this really formal party Saturday night and I want you to be my date.
Jack: (embracing her with the hand that's not holding his banana) Oh, Janet, after all these years, you've finally come around.
Janet: (pulling away and patting his shoulder) Easy, Jack, I just need you as a decoy for David.
Terri explains about the jealousy thing. Jack cries, "Oh, I feel so used!"
Jo tells Robin he's not Chrissy's first choice, or second. Robin asks Chrissy, "You sure old Roper didn't turn you down as well?" She says she didn't want to go with one of those smooth types from work. He says, "You fancied a bit of rough."
Janet begs Jack. She says she'd help him if he needed her for anything. So he starts to whisper what he needs. She hits him and then begs some more, till he agrees to go to the party.
Complications: Then Robin finds out that the dancing at the staff dance will be strict tempo, with the waltz. The girls think he can't dance.
Robin: Listen, I can move it about with the best of them.
Chrissy: You're not supposed to move it about in strict tempo. You're supposed to keep it still.
When Chrissy's out of the room, Jo says that there'll be the hokey-cokey as well. "That's the one where you put it in and shake it all about." Robin grins and says, "Yeah, yeah, that sounds more like it."
He asks about Peter. Jo says he's the assistant managing dreamboat, tall, good-looking, and a smashing dancer.
None of their records are strict tempo. You can't foxtrot to Tony Hancock and "The Blood Donor" (apparently a fondly remembered 1961 episode of Mr. Hancock's comedy show). Robin says he'll go down to the Ropers to borrow some records.
Jack has a more serious problem. David's weekend home is just off the coast on a little island, and the guests will be arriving on a single-engine private plane.
Janet and Terri go to their room, talking about going shopping for an outfit for Janet to wear to the party. Larry drops by. (By this point, Amer-Larry is a regular and has been in the opening credits for a couple of years.) Jack wants Larry to go in his place, but Larry has plans. Jack says he doesn't have a tux. When Larry suggests Jack rent one, Jack exclaims, "If you don't have anything helpful to say, why don't you just shut your mouth?"
He confesses to Larry that he's afraid to fly, and has never flown before. (Remember, his parents live in San Diego, so he just drives down to see them. And I guess he never flew in the Navy.)
Larry has Jack sit in a chair as Larry dramatizes the flight. Jack says the bumpy ride is "like riding in one of your used cars." When Larry leans the chair back, Jack panics and bails at 4000 feet.
He's so upset he whimpers. Larry offers Jack his tranquilizers, which he needs as a used car salesman. Terri returns as Larry goes upstairs to get the tranquilizers. When Jack admits about the pills, asking her not to tell Janet, Terri is very concerned. She's a nurse and she knows how dangerous it can be to take drugs that aren't prescribed for you. She makes him promise he won't take one.
Larry returns when Terri's out of the room. He tosses Jack the bottle. Jack says, "I'll take two." And we cut to a commercial.
It's all set up for Jack and Janet to go to the party, and indeed almost all of the rest of the episode takes place at David's weekend home. But MatH has some more set-up to do.
Tango: Downstairs at the Ropers', Mildred is reading Hold Fast My Heart. When Robin comes by, she tells him it's "all about this young Jesuit priest who looks after all the down-and-outs," the "human refuse cast upon the shores of society."
When Robin wants to borrow records, she says she has no modern stuff, not even Victor Silvester ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victor_Silvester ). It turns out that Robin has never heard of Guy Lombardo. (How is that possible? Hell, I'd probably heard of Guy Lombardo in 1974.) He has heard of Dennis Lotis ( http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0521471/ ) and Lita Roza ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lita_Roza ).
She has him move the coffee table and she teaches him to dance. When she tells him what to do with his left foot, he says, "Which left foot? I've got two, you see." At first, he mirrors what she's doing. Then she has him do touch-dancing. He asks where Mr. Roper is. George is at the British Legion ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British_legion ). She says Robin is stiff as a poker, no, not in that sense.
George comes home. He's mildly surprised, not at all jealous, to see them dancing. He says he used to love the tango himself. They used to clear the floor when he danced. She says they had to, "Proper little dodge 'em car you were." She has him tango with her. "Come on, George, you pretend to be the man."
Robin leaves but they don't notice because they're too into their dance. Mildred dips George and says, "Ha ha! You've still got it, you little devil!" He whimpers. They disappear from view, so when Robin pokes his head in the door, we're not quite sure why he looks amused and then shocked.
Ginger Rogers: We next see Robin practising dancing, with a book, as Jo looks on. When Chrissy comes home, he tells her it'd be easier if he had one black foot and one white (to match the diagrams). He's figured out he needs three feet for the reverse turn. Chrissy says, "What about the poor girl? We have to do it backwards." (No, she doesn't say "in heels.")
Jo notices that Chrissy has bought a green dress, Peter's favourite colour. Robin says he prefers Chrissy in green. She tells him, "Well, hard luck." Jo tells her not to take it out on Robin, who's been practising hard all day. Jo has never heard such foul language.
He has Jo put a record on. He dances with Chrissy, his hand on her bottom at first. When they're done, she says she appreciates him taking this trouble to learn. But she wants him to get a haircut.
Mr. Roper comes by and wants to sell Robin his old dinner jacket. Robin didn't know the dance is black tie. He now refuses to go, and this is where we break for adverts.
How could he lose?: When we return though, he comes out of his room in a dinner jacket in bad condition. Mr. Roper says it was nine quid originally. Mrs. Roper comes in as her husband says Robin can have the whole thing for four quid, including the celluloid dickey (the white piece that's curling up). She scolds him. She's thrown the dinner jacket out twice. She tells Robin he looks ridiculous and he should take it off, which he gratefully does. (I've lost track of the number times Robin has some reason to partially strip off.)
Mildred returns the book to Chrissy. She enjoyed it so much she cried. Chrissy says she didn't get beyond the first chapter. As soon as she saw a row of asterisks (meaning something sexual that was omitted), she went right off it. Mildred used her imagination.
She says it's about a young Jesuit priest who wrestles with himself and finally wins. Jo asks, "How could he lose?" The priest gives up the girl because of his love for all men. Robin says, "Yes, I know the type," and makes a "queen" face.
George says he might come down to three quid, maybe even down to two quid. Mildred says, "You'll come down to the bin and throw it out."
After the Ropers leave, Robin says he can't go because he has no penguin suit. Chrissy says, "Wrong."
Liquorice allsort: It's Saturday night and the trio are getting ready, Jo in Chrissy's gold earrings that she borrowed without asking first. Chrissy is wearing a lowcut yellow dress, possibly the one from "When the Cat's Away."
Robin enters in black tie. Jo says, "Oh, who's the pretty boy then," like he's a puppy or a budgie. He says, "Don't you start." He tells Chrissy he feels like a penguin, and a liquorice allsort. He plans to tell everyone at the dance that the tux is hired, so they won't think he dresses like this all the time. She of course doesn't want that. And she nags him about whether or not he got a haircut. Jo says, "Listen, you two don't have to argue. You're not married."
Robin admits that the outfit does give a sophisticated feeling. Then Chrissy tells him don't have too much to drink, don't use any bad language, and don't tell any of his awful jokes. "Just enjoy yourself."
Something to gossip about: When the trio and Steve come into the club where the staff dance is being held, we see that Jo's dress is backless except for gold chains. With her hair up, she looks very sophisticated.
The Ambrose Quilby Four, as themselves, are providing music. (Their only screen appearance.) This is in contrast to David's party, where the music is provided by unseen musicians (radio? stereo?) and will change willy-nilly.
Guests are dressed formally at both places, perhaps even more formally on 3'sC, because it's the '80s and because David and his friends are rich. (It's hard to judge since some of the fashions are horrible, as suits both decades, and I can't tell what's supposed to be high-end.)
The club that the firm has hired is rather generic, tables and a bit of space to dance. David's living room (the main part of his house we see, although there are some visits to the patio) is posh but warm, with red and brown tones, plants, and modern art on the walls. We get to see it before Jack and Janet arrive, and this sets up two important points for the plot. There's an older couple that the end credits identify as the Peabodys. Mrs. Peabody says, "David, I was just telling your sister Nancy that this is a lovely party." Now, nobody talks like that. You'd either say "your sister" or "Nancy," not both. Unless you're on a farce and you want to let the audience in on things. Mrs. Peabody is played by Gertrude Flynn, who was on everything from The Twilight Zone to Growing Pains. Paul Marin plays her husband, who will have less to do but still have his moment, and he has a similar resume, ranging from The Untouchables to Ellen.
Nancy is a pretty blonde in a red gown with sparkles. She's played by Lauree Berger, who did a few other guest shots, mostly in the 1980s. David is in black tie and played by none other than Barry Williams, AKA Greg Brady! Barry was 27 at the time and had already done two Brady reunion shows, although he'd mostly switched to musical theater by then. (And Greg Brady had become an obstetrician.)
When the doorbell rings, the maid answers. We learn in the credits that she's named Bridget, a pretty stereotypical name for a maid, but the actress is named Dean Taliaferro, much more unuusal. Dean has only one other credit on IMDB, as a bank customer in 1981's Pennies from Heaven.
Janet is wearing a long blue off-the-shoulder dress with poofy sleves, as well as a pearl necklace. Jack is in a tux. She observes that he's mellow tonight. He says he took a tranquilizer. She's understandably worried. She stops him from taking a drink from the maid. As Bridget walks away, Jack puns, "Maid to order." Janet warns him that tranquilizers and liquor don't mix.
Meanwhile, Robin doesn't understand how coat check works, that you're supposed to tip afterwards. Jo notices that Robin and Chrissy have been assigned a separate table from her. They'll be with Marjorie and Denise, whom Chrissy calls the firm's jungle drums. Robin tells Chrissy, "Let's give them something to gossip about, eh?" Chrissy says that both girls will be with their boyfriends, one an architect, the other a chartered accountant. She doesn't want Robin to let on he's only a cookery student.
Jack observes, "Look at this crowd. You can almost smell the money." He wants to invite some of them to Angelino's, the restaurant where he works. (True to his statement on the pilot, he indeed graduated from cooking school in 1980.) Janet doesn't want him to tell anyone he's a chef, in order to make a good impresson. She asks if he understands. He says, "Of course, Punkin....You're ashamed of me."
When they walk down the wide set of stairs to the living room, he keeps descending. You'd think Janet would be more worried about that than what he does for a living.
You must be so proud: Robin and Chrissy go over to their table. They sit with Chrissy's coworkers, as well as Nigel the architect and Stuart the chartered accountant. Nigel is played by John Colclough, who will return to MatH as Ted.
One girl cattily says, "I do like your dress, Chrissy. Such a saving if you're handy with a sewing machine." Chrissy says something catty back but I don't quite catch it.
The men ask Robin if he plays tennis or squash, but he says he has no time in his line of businesss, Jesuit priest. Chrissy almost does a spit take when she hears that. He says he works among the down-and-outs, the human refuse cast upon the shores of society. The other girl notices that he's not wearing "a dog collar." He says she's thinking of the Dominicans. Robin talks about what he does for the poor.
When the other two couples are dancing, Chrissy says she could murder him. She snaps, "Don't you dare tell anyone else you're a Jesuit priest!" So when Peter comes over, Robin says, Bless you, My Son," but then says he's a brain surgeon who helps the flotsam cast upon the the shores of society. Peter asks Chrissy to dance, and they leave while Robin's still talking.
Chrissy asks if Peter's girlfriend will mind. He says that's his sister, who's staying for a fortnight. He asks if her boyfriend will mind. "Oh, it makes no difference to him. He's a Jesuit priest." (Jesuit priests do take a vow of celibacy, but Robin's right that they don't have an official habit.)
David and Nancy come over to welcome Jack and Janet. David kisses her hand. She says Jack wanted to go to Acapulco for the weekend, but she persuaded him to come here instead. He's "the Jack Tripper."
David: I'm David Winthrop. This is Nancy. Nancy is--
Jack: Very beautiful. How do you do?"
While looking at Nancy, Jack kisses David's hand. David pulls his hand away.
Then Janet pulls all of Jack away, to remind him he's supposed to be with her. When they go back, he says that Janet is really something. Then he sweeps her down for a kiss. She hits him to make him stop. She says, "Sometimes he can't help himself." Somewhat angrily, David says, "Looks like he just did."
Nancy excuses herself. David takes Jack and Janet to meet two of the guests. Mark is in banking and Robert's an investment counselor. David leaves Jack and Janet with them. Mark is played by Rick Edwards, who would go on to star in Santa Barbara. He seems to be the blond man here. Robert is played by Thom Fleming, who a couple years later competed on Star Search.
Loopy Jack waves his hands and then mimes a tennis serve. Robert asks if Jack plays tennis. Jack says he doesn't have much chance to play in his line of work. Janet does do a spit take when he says he's a Jesuit priest.
A couple strolls by, arm in arm. Jack asks, "Is this your first time on The Love Boat?" This is particularly funny because John Ritter had appeared on The Love Boat himself and would return a year after this episode. (Priscilla Barnes, AKA Terri, did three guest shots, five if you count two-parters, mostly after 3'sC. Richard Kline, AKA Larry, did four episodes. Audra Lindley did an impressive eight, with a couple two-parters. Middle-blonde-roommate Jenilee Harrison did five, counting a two-parter. Post-Ropers landlord Don Knotts did two. Norman Fell and Joyce DeWitt each did one. And Suzanne Somers did one back in '77, when both LB and 3'sC were very new.) LB was also an ABC show, and it ran three years past 3'sC. The Pacific Princess would sail between L.A. and Acapulco, very appropriate.
Janet glares at Jack and says she's going to kill him. David returns and asks if they're having fun. Janet says they always have fun when they're together. Jack sings, "And we'll have fun fun fun till her--", moving into falsetto for the fun's. Janet elbows his stomach to get him to stop singing.
David notices that Jack doesn't have a drink. Jack says he can't. David says, "Teetotaller?" Jack says, "No, brain surgeon." He's got surgery tomorrow at 5 a.m.
Janet asks to see the rest of the house. David escorts her across the living room. Jack talks about how he does most of his work among the down and out. Janet glares at him over her shoulder. Jack yawns.
Over on MatH, there's a dissolve and the men are now all wearing party hats, white bowlers with colourful geometric shapes. Robin asks Jo to dance but, despite her encouragement earlier, she says he's a rotten dancer. He says at least she's honest, "I hate that in a woman." She says he can't turn and they'd plow straight through the band. He says someone should.
Peter returns Chrissy. Robin says to her, "You will save me one dance, will you? Even if it's only 'God Save the Queen.' " (Wikipedia says, "Until the latter part of the 20th century, theatre and concert goers were expected to stand to attention while the anthem was played after the conclusion of a show.") She apologises for leaving him on his own.
He says he wasn't, he was talking to "this big fat lady in pink." Then of course we see the lady. The end credits call her Mrs. James, and Peggy Ann Clifford has credits going back to 1944 and in fact played a fat prospective bride in Kind Hearts and Coronets (1949). At least her character gets a name here, rather than "Large Lady in Station Crowd," "Fat Lady," and similar roles. Mrs. James says, "You must be so proud of him. So young to be a member of Parliament. And all that work among the down and out."
David and Janet step out onto the patio. We see potted plants and a railing. She says it's really pretty. "And, um, Nancy is certainly pretty." He says, "I may be prejudiced, but I think she's beautiful." We can see the hurt and disappointment in her face. She says she should be getting back to Jack. David is confused since they just left Jack. She says Jack gets insanely jealous when she's out of his sight.
Jack is now reclining on the sofa. Nancy comes over as Janet steps back into the room. Jack is happy to see Nancy, but Janet snuggles up against him.
Janet: Did you miss me, Honey?
Jack: When?
Janet pretends he's kidding. Nancy excuses herself again.
The Peabodys come over. Mrs. Peabody tells Janet, "You must be so proud of your man. So young to be a Congressman." Janet looks ticked off. Jack feigns modesty. After the Peabodys leave, Jack says, just barely audible under the laughter, "Well, I feel that America is in a transition now." (Reagan had been elected a year-and-a-half before this episode aired, and America was indeed in transition. Ironically, in '79 John Ritter played a presciently Clintonian president in the fascinating box office bomb Americathon, set in 1998.)
Janet yanks Jack by his jacket and threatens, "Listen, Congressman. You do one more thing to embarrass me tonight and I will never speak to you again." He asks, "Does that mean you won't vote for me?" She stomps off.
I will dance: Then we get a whole sequence that has absolutely no counterpart on MatH. Jack tries to stand up but he falls, twice. Mark asks, "Say, what's the matter, Father?" Jack replies, "Just a little groggy, My Son, but nothing to worry about." Mark hands Jack his own special pick-me-up, the Rocket. "One sip of this and you blast off." Jack is reluctant at first, then he says he'll have maybe just a sip. He of course downs most of it.
The Rocket kicks in as he's yawning. His eyes and mouth go wide, like he's on fire. Then his eyes cross and his head shakes. He takes several hors d'oeuvres off the tray the maid brings by, pocketing them for later. Then he takes the tray. What Chris Mann in Come and Knock on Our Door describes as "a medley of show tunes and funk music" comes on from the unseen source. Jack throws hors d'oeuvres at the other guests.
He bumps into Janet. He cries, "Janet, My Love!" and smooches her. She again hits him.
Janet: Have you seen the patio?
Jack: Why? Is there one missing?
Janet: (as she tugs him across the floor) Your brains are.
Out on the patio, Jack gets down with the music. Then he tries to dance with both Janet and Mrs. Peabody, the latter surprisingly cooperative. When Jack spins Janet out and says, "Work with me, Janet!", she scolds, "No, stop!" He says, "I can't! I got the music in me. Strut with me, Mama!", and dances Mrs. Peabody back into the living room. (The last part of the line was apparently Ritter's ad-lib.) Mrs. Peabody accidentally knocks the toupee off her husband's head. Jack pets it and calls it Kitty.
When the music shifts into a '30s tune of the "Putting on the Ritz" type, Jack dances across the floor, including with Brigitte. He kisses her and she wipes off her mouth, although she doesn't stop dancing. He gets up on a small table and dances with a tap-shoe sound. He also kisses and dances with a lamp.
The medley switches to drums, so Jack dances on the bar. He falls, taking a plant with him. He emerges with the plant on his head, a la Carmen Miranda. He shakes a drink-mixer in time with the maracas. He reclines on the bar and then dances around some more, including up the stairs, sliding down the banister.
He takes the toupee, puts it on the plant, and then puts the plant on Mr. Peabody's head. He takes Mr. Peabody's cane and dances upstairs, to the '30s tune again. He tosses another plant out of its wicker basket and puts the basket on as a hat. He dances down the stairs. He runs across the room, jumps onto a chair, and falls over. The audience is going crazy with laughter and applause the entire three minutes.
Sister: I don't notice David during the sequence, although I see Nancy. (It's hard to watch anyone but John Ritter when he's doing a show-stopper.) David now goes out to Janet on the patio. Yes, Janet has missed the entire spectacle, which is probably just as well, considering how embarrased she would be. David says nothing about what Jack has just done and instead asks her to dance. She asks if Nancy would mind. He says, "Why would my sister mind?" Janet is surprised and pleased to find out that Nancy is his sister.
David: Didn't I tell you she was my sister when I introduced you?
Janet: No!
David: Oh, that's right. Your boyfriend wouldn't give me a chance.
Janet: I don't have a boyfriend.
They move in for a kiss, but the camera cuts away, darn it.
Peter brings over his "kid sister" Maddie and then he dances with Chrissy again. Maddie says, "Looks as though I've been dumped on you." Robin now looks at her and smiles, seeing she's a pretty brunette. She doesn't dance to "this stuff." She feels like a fish out of water. He says, "Meet a penguin."
They have something else in common. She's a student of Domestic Science. He says he's a cookery student, third year. He invites her over to see his recipes.
Meanwhile, Jack is sitting on the sofa, his head in his hands. Nancy comes over and wipes his brow with a wet towel. He says he feels so ashamed. She says he's like a breath of fresh air. "My brother's parties are always so full of phonies." He's surprised and pleased to find out that David is her brother.
He wants to talk about her. She's a Home Ec teacher. He happily tells her he's a chef.
And then David comes over.
David: Dr. Tripper, I thought you had surgery in the morning.
Nancy: Doctor?
David: Man's a brain surgeon. Well, I must be getting back to Janet.
Then Mrs. Peabody wants to talk to the Congressman. Nancy says he just told her he's a chef. She thinks he says anything to get what he wants.
Things unravel on MatH, too. Robin is called a Jesuit priest, a brain surgeon, and a member of Parliament. Maddie thinks he's a compulsive liar.
Robin: But I am a cookery student!
Mrs. James: How do you fit that in with your Parliamentary duties?
Jack: I really am a chef!
Mrs. Peabody: How do you fit that in with all your Congressional work?
Robin says he was hired from an escort agency, Rent-a-Bloke, 50p an hour. (Ten pence more than Jo makes babysitting.) He gives up and goes home.
Nancy joins Janet and David on the patio, where they're holding the drinks that David brought out.
Janet: I heard you've been talking to Jack.
Nancy: Oh, you mean Jack-of-all-trades?
Janet admits that Jack is a chef. So Nancy says she's going "back to the chef." Shimmying her shoulders, she says, "We're gonna cook."
Nancy apologizes to Jack for not believing him. He suggests a long walk on the beach. But he falls asleep with his head on her shoulder.
That's what it's all about: The next morning, we find out that Jo got back at 1. Chrissy isn't in yet. Robin is amused, and Jo says he has a nasty, suspicious mind. Chrissy comes in, carrying a milk bottle and wearing last night's outfit.
Robin says, "If you want to spend the whole night with this Peter, it's entirely up to you." She did spend it with Peter, in outpatients. "He wrenched it as he was shaking it all about in the Hokey-Cokey." Peter's "it" is his ankle.
When Janet gets home, Terri is asleep on the couch with her book. She wakes up and asks Janet about the party. Janet says David's date was his sister. Terri is happy for Janet. Then the girls help get a still groggy Jack into the apartment. When he finds out it's 4:30, he worries, "Oh my God! I've got brain surgery at 5!" He runs into the door and passes out on the floor.
Commentary: Although I've tagged this for RCST, it is fairly mild compared to some episodes. We do have Robin joking that Chrissy only wants his body, and her saying she hasn't decided, but bring it just in case. When he says she fancies a bit of rough, the implication is she wants to have sex with someone from a lower social class. Even their bickering suggests they're like a married couple. But once they're at the dance, they don't interact all that much. She distances herself from him and is much less embarrassed by him than Janet is by Jack, but then Robin doesn't do as wild things as Jack does.
It's arguable that the American show has JJST, although in their case it's been years rather than months. After all, Robin is only Chrissy's third choice for an escort, while Jack is the first person Janet thinks of when she needs a "sexy and gorgeous" date. He's joking when he implies he needs sex from her, but on the other hand I don't think he'd tell her no.
Both Chrissy and Janet get annoyed with their male roommates, to the point of threatening murder. It's obviously just a figure of speech, but I should note that Janet hits Jack a lot in this episode. To be fair, this is usually when he's kissing her against her will. (Yes, she wants to make David jealous, but not with excessive physical displays.)
The roommates' interest in the brother-and-sister pairs is more prominent than their interest in each other. It's notable that Maddie turning out to be Peter's sister is less of a big deal than the farce of Nancy being David's. On 3'sC, it's set up and drawn out, with the usual misunderstandings. It's also more important to the two potential couples when it's resolved.
We learn more about David than we do about Peter. Peter is an assistant manager, he likes the colour green, and he has a sister, that's about it. Of course, with a recognizable sitcom star, it feels like we (or at least those of us who've watched a lot of '70s sitcoms) already know David before we meet him. Not only does he get far more lines than Peter, but he is host of the party, rather than just another staff member at the dance. His wealth is part of his attraction-- note that Janet had admired Lloyd Cross's Maserati and now likes driving David's Ferrari-- but he is also considerate and charming. Unlike Lloyd, he actually is a nice guy, even putting up with Jack's shenanigans. He doesn't even mind when he finds out that Janet has lied to him. Maybe he's flattered. Certainly they have a happier ending than Chrissy and Peter.
Jack is immediately attracted to Nancy, calling her very beautiful and trying to kiss her hand. Robin is less obvious (and less drunk), but it's clear he's attracted to Maddie. Both couples are drawn together by a shared love of cooking and a shared dislike of pretension. Jack gets a second chance with Nancy, even if he does fall asleep, while Maddie never finds out that she was the one person Robin was telling the truth to. We don't see as much of Maddie as we do of Nancy, but there is chemistry between her and Robin, and I like knowing that Alison Hughes will return a couple times, as Linda. (I'm guessing she'll play Robin's girlfriend, since Linda was Jack's recurring girlfriend.)
The Amer-Ropers were long gone by this point, having been spun off onto The Ropers (based on George & Mildred). Even if they weren't, I can't imagine them tangoing, but it seems perfectly in character for the Brit-Ropers. Since Jack doesn't have fears about dancing-- quite the opposite!-- the dancing lesson doesn't need to be translated. And it's a simple matter to give Mildred's book to Terri. I like how, unlike the other spicy books Mrs. Roper reads, this one actually impacts the plots of both episodes. (I thought Hold Fast My Heart was supposed to be a Thorn Birds parody, but it turns out that that book didn't get published till three years after MatH16. The popular miniseries didn't come out till 1983.)
I suppose I should say something about money/class issues. Robin, despite being "the boss's son," in this episode at least likes to present himself as low class, "a bit of rough" who doesn't like to wear a tux. When Chrissy wants him to deny himself, by not only behaving at the dance but not admitting he's a student, he rebels by concocting not one but three fantastic careers. In Jack's case, you'd think being a chef would be respectable enough, but not at this party, or so Janet thinks. Jack is reacting to not only Janet's classism but to the combined tranquilizer(s) and alcohol. (Did he disobey Terri and take just one, or did he have two?) He rebels not just by claiming Robin's three careers (Parliament changed to Congress of course), but also by playing Fred Astaire. I like that Janet is the one to admit that Jack is a chef, although considering that Nancy is a Home Ec teacher, the Winthrops won't mind.
It is brave of Janet, since she's trying to impress a dreamboat rather than her coworkers and their boyfriends. Also, the class divide is sharper on 3'sC, where you can smell the money. An architect and a chartered accountant would be upper middle-class at most, while a banker and an investment counselor could be quite well-off, particularly in the '80s. Also, "Peabody" is a more stereotypically rich last name than "James." Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous wouldn't start airing till 1984, but already on this 3'sC episode we can see the shift from the '70s, where it was sort of cool to be working-class (or act like it), with casual clothes and a casual attitude.
Not only is dance important in these episodes, but so is song. The MatH title, with its ellipses, comes from the 1930s song "I Won't Dance." One of the lines is "Say, you know what? You're lovely," close to what Jack says to Nancy. And a line from the chorus goes, "I know that music leads to romance." It doesn't on either episode, since Mildred dances with Robin and George, neither of whom seem to want a romance with her, while Jack dances with an elderly married woman, the maid, and a lamp. Another song referenced is of course the Beach Boys' "Fun Fun Fun." There's also a quick mention of Kiki Dee's 1975 song "I Got the Music in Me." Jack's musical references tend to be either contemporary or ones that he'd have heard as a Baby Boomer growing up in the '50s and '60s. MatH, on the other hand, delights in shout-outs to entertainers and entertainment from the '30s and '40s even more than those from the '50s and '60s. The Hokey-Cokey, with all its variants of names, allegedly dates from the '40s. And of course "God Save the Queen" is even older.
The most striking contrast between these two episodes is that when Robin's had enough, he just walks out. Jack, and Janet and all the guests, are trapped on David's island until the plane returns for them. This makes Jack's outrageousness even better, and it explains Janet's stress and anger. (Well, and Janet is just very high-strung, more so as 3'sC goes on.)
Lastly, alcohol and tranquilizers don't mix! Listen to Janet, she lives with a nurse. You might end up entertaining a group of not-so-stuffy rich people and winning over a cute blonde teacher. OK, it was the cusp of the Just Say No era, but drugs were still funny. Heck, they still are under the right circumstances. As we shall see on a future pair of episodes....
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