The last episode of the first British series of MatH became the fourth episode of 3'sC. MatH7 aired on 26 September 1973. 3'sC4 aired April 7, 1977 and was the first episode of the show to reach #5 in the ratings. The previous episode, "Roper's Niece," placed #6.
A few words about that episode. It's set on Janet's birthday, meaning she was born in late March. We learn that Chrissy was born in January. (A few seasons later, we find out that her full name is Christmas Snow, but maybe she arrived late.) There's a big birthday kiss from Jack to Janet. At one point, Janet asks, "Chrissy, do you dig him?" and the two girls discuss their attraction to Jack, if he weren't their roommate of course. Roper's old and unreliable car figures into the plot. And on the subject of whether or not Jack tries anything with Roper's niece, Helen says Stanley didn't try anything till they were married about two years. The story wouldn't have worked for MatH because George no longer thinks Robin is gay.
Swinging Scrubbers: On MatH, Chrissy is vacuuming as Robin reads the newspaper. She says they've got to clean the flat twice a year, whether it needs it or not. Robin offers to help, but Chrissy says it'd take longer. Then she says he should clear through the records, since some aren't theirs. He jokes that he'll put on the Frank Sinatra album Songs for Swinging Scrubbers.
Over in America, Mrs. Roper calls to Janet through the open door. She's finished the spicy book Janet loaned her. She wants to sit and chat. She says her twentieth wedding anniversary is the day after tomorrow. Janet asks if they'll see a show. "Yes, Baretta, followed by Charlie's Angels." (Like 3'sC, these were both ABC shows.) Mrs. Roper doesn't think her husband will remember their anniversary.
She envies Janet her life as a young single. Janet says her boyfriends are after only one thing. Now Mrs. Roper really envies her.
When Mr. Roper comes in, Janet hints to him about the anniversary. After awhile, he realizes what happens on Wednesday-- Baretta and Charlie's Angels.
Mr. Roper was looking out the window at 3 a.m. and saw Chrissy walking around in her nightgown. Janet says Chrissy must be sleepwalking again. After Janet leaves, Mrs. Roper demands to know why Mr. Roper was looking out the window at that hour. He says he was checking the weather.
The Explorer: We get our first glimpse of Larry's flat in this episode, when Robin goes over to return some records. Larry's dog has had three puppies and he tries to give one to Robin. We learn that Robin's birthday is in February.
Jim the landlord at the Mucky Duck (sorry I called him a bartender before, I didn't know) is looking for a dog. Larry gives Robin a female puppy to give to Jim. Larry owes Jim two quid on the slate, so he can't go to the pub right now.
Larry is wearing a Grease shirt, presumably having had an easier time getting tickets than the American trio did.
When Janet tells Chrissy about the sleepwalking, Chrissy is embarrassed because she was in her nightie. She sleepwalks when she's stressed. Right now, she's subbing as secretary for Mr. Rogers, no, not that Mr. Rogers. This is the one that the girls in the office call Christopher Columbus, "the explorer." Janet says Chrissy should complain to his boss. But he is the boss! (Again, this is well before sexual harassment was taken seriously.)
Jack comes home. Chrissy talks about how the sleepwalking started when she was a kid. It wasn't easy being the minister's daughter, all that pressure.
No Dogs, No Children: Brit-Chrissy doesn't like dogs, not since she was bitten by a kennel owner.
Chrissy: She can't stay. Mrs. Roper won't let us have a dog.
Jo: She's a bitch.
Chrissy: Yeah, maybe, but she still won't let us have a dog.
Obviously, this outrageous bit of dialogue didn't make it across the ocean. First of all, in America we don't use "dog" to mean "male dog." And secondly, you would never have gotten a pun on "bitch" on TV in the late '70s.
Chrissy: It's in the lease, no dogs, no children.
Jo: They've got a budgie.
Chrissy: Yeah, but it hardly ever barks, does it?
Back in California, Jack brings in a box and takes a puppy out. It looks like a similar breed to the British dogs, although I don't know much about dogs, so feel free to correct me. His friend Larry gave him the puppy. Chrissy says, "Honest Larry, the used car salesman?" (We don't yet know what Brit-Larry does for a living, although he apparently can afford a flat on his own.)
Jack owes Larry $25, so he took the puppy and Larry had to cancel the debt. Unlike Brit-Chrissy, Janet seems to like the dog, but she's got reservations.
Janet: You know Roper's rules. No dogs or babies allowed.
Jack: Yeah, well, we're keeping half of the bargain. So far. (He leers at Chrissy.)
Janet says they'll be evicted if Mr. Roper finds out.
Small but vital: At the Mucky Duck, we find out that someone already brought Jim one of Larry's puppies. While Robin and Jo are there, Larry comes by. Chrissy wants a favour. He gets his hopes up when she says she has to first get out of her jeans. But she wants him to help her pin up the dress she's sewing. She says, "You thought your ship had come in, didn't you?"
Amer-Larry also drops by. Although he'll later dress in swingin' singles' wear, in this his first episode, he's more like a used car salesman, with a plaid jacket. He brought the puppy's rubber bone.
Janet: Larry, we're not allowed to have any pets.
Larry: (indicating Jack) You've got him, haven't you?
Chrissy: He's housebroken.
Robin and Jo return. It turns out that Jim wanted a dog, and as Larry says of this puppy, "That's a bitch, isn't it?"
Jo: What's the difference?
Robin: Small but vital.
Robin/Jack gives the puppy back to Larry. As Larry leaves, he says he'll have to have the dog put down/ put to sleep. Jo/Amer-Chrissy is very sad. Robin/Jack says Larry won't do it. After awhile, Brit-Chrissy says, "Oh, for goodness sake, go and get her!", while Janet says, "Oh, for heaven's sake, go get the dog!" Robin/Jack sets off to catch Larry before it's too late. Larry is right outside the door with the puppy.
Foreign muck: Later on, Brit-Chrissy says, "What about the Chinese fellow in the takeaway? He was looking for a dog." Robin says, "Yes, but what for?" (In the previous episode, the Chinese takeaway was supposed to have gone out of business.)
The Ropers would go spare if they found out the trio are keeping a dog. So of course Mrs. Roper comes by to borrow milk. Robin has Jo hide the dog in the loo. Mrs. Roper notices Robin's bandaged finger, from a dog bite. Robin says Chrissy bit his finger.
Chrissy: He shouldn't have put it in my mouth.
Mildred: I see, fun and games.
She sees the dog food. Robin says it's boeuf bourguignon. Chrissy says it's leftovers. Robin is going to throw it away. Mrs. Roper says she can give it to Mr. Roper and she takes it.
Later, Robin worries about what will happen if Mr. Roper eats it. Chrissy says it's only horsemeat. Jo says they eat it all the time in France. Robin says not with bone meal and marrow bone jelly. Chrissy says maybe it'll give Mr. Roper a nice, rich, glossy coat. And the next time they see him, they'll throw a stick and see if he fetches.
The Ropers are in their kitchen, I think the first time we see that set. We learn that George still isn't paying the telly licence. If they ever get caught, he'll just say they thought it was included in the water rates. Mildred points out that they don't pay those either.
He's dubious about the meal because it's French. She's having steak and kidney pie. He trades with her because he doesn't want "foreign muck out of the packet."
Robin shows up, takes Mr. Roper's dish, throws the food in the bin, and quickly leaves. So Mr. Roper eats the "beef."
A Nightcap: The British puppy, in a box on the couch, whimpers. The trio check on her. Chrissy suggests Robin take the puppy to bed. He worries about fleas. Chrissy says the dog won't mind.
The girls make Robin take the puppy for a walk, so we get an outdoor shot. He smokes in the rain. Jim is out walking his dog, and he's been bitten on the finger, too. He asks if Robin fancies a nightcap. Robin worries about the police because it's so late, but there are three coppers in the pub already, playing cards. Robin puts his foot in his mouth repeatedly while talking to them.
History in the Making: Meanwhile in Los Angeles, Amer-Chrissy sleepwalks out the front door. Janet wakes up Jack and they go after her, Jack tripping over an offscreen garbage can. Janet escorts Chrissy back in. Jack says he'll leave his bedroom door open in case Chrissy sleepwalks again. Janet glares at him.
Jack goes to the kitchen to put iodine on his leg. (Why do they keep it in the kitchen rather than the bathroom?) He bumps his sore leg on a table while walking in the dark, and then again when he hears the puppy whimpering and turns around. He goes to get the puppy out of the bathroom. He tells her, "If Roper catches you, he'll sell you to the burger joint on the corner."
Chrissy comes out of her room and joins Jack in the kitchen. The dog might be hungry, so they decide to feed her.
Janet also comes out of the bedroom and calls to Chrissy, thinking that Chrissy might be sleepwalking. And now it's time to talk about the Walls of Farce. For only $300, in 1977 you could apparently have an apartment in L.A. with walls so thick you could only hear people if the door was open or you put your ear to the closed door. So Chrissy can't hear Janet calling to her, and Janet has to stand right next to the kitchen door to overhear what turns out to be the first of umpteen overheard and misunderstood conversations that this sitcom specializes in. I'll quote it in full, purely for historical reasons. You'll have to imagine Janet's looks of shock and horror interspersed among the double entendres.
Chrissy: Oh, that's cute!
Jack: Yeah, there's nothing a girl likes more than a little tickle on the tummy.
Chrissy: Not like that! Like this.
Jack: Yeah, is that better?
Chrissy: That is much better.
Jack: You are so beautiful! (He makes kissing noises.)
Chrissy: Do we need a blanket?
Jack: No, it's warm enough in here.
Chrissy: I love your eyes!
Jack: (with the dog food) Here you go. This is gonna make you feel so gooooood!
Chrissy: Oh, I could kiss every inch of you! (meaning the dog dish) No, Jack! Not on the table!
Jack: Oh, on the floor is better?
Having heard enough, Janet finally interrupts by yanking the door open and saying, "All right, you guys, knock it off!" Then she sees what's really going on.
The doorbell rings. It's Mr. Roper. He suspects they've got a dog, since he heard whimpering. (The floor isn't as thick as the walls.) Jack says he stubbed his toe and he demonstrates his whimpering. Mr. Roper calls him a very strange person. He also says that if they did have a dog, they'd be out on the street. (Yes, he threatens eviction a lot.) After Mr. Roper leaves, Janet says, "We gotta get rid of that dog."
The next morning: Robin says he played a game with the police, "Burst the breathalyzer." He's hung over.
Meanwhile, in Santa Monica, Jack has already made twenty calls to friends, trying to find someone to take the dog. The doorbell rings. It's Mrs. Roper, wanting to borrow milk. Jack and Chrissy quickly hide the dog in the kitchen. We get the "boeuf bourguignon" sequence here, pretty much identical to the British version, except the Ropers eat in their living room. Janet gets Brit-Chrissy's lines while Amer-Chrissy gets Jo's. Also, Mr. Roper doesn't say anything about "foreign muck," but he does say, "I'm not in the mood to experiment." His wife of course replies, "You never are." She's eating leftover stew, rather than steak & kidney. And he gets a line about being so hungry he could eat a horse.
Then the dog goes missing on both shows. Janet thought Jack took the puppy to bed with him. We get the "fleas" exchange here.
As Robin and Chrissy start looking, Mrs. Roper finds the puppy on her doorstep. It wandered out of the upstairs flat when Jo left the door open. But on 3'sC, Amer-Chrissy deliberately leaves the puppy on the doorstep, on top of the Ropers' morning paper. Jack deadpans, "I bet that put a damper on their news."
Chrissy: Anybody who loves parakeets must love dogs.
Jack: (impatiently) What about Mr. Roper?
Chrissy: I guess she loves him, too. Otherwise, she wouldn't stay with him.
Mildred wants to keep the dog, but her husband says no dogs allowed. "That's only for the tenants, George." He says it's another licence to buy. She replies, "We'll say we thought it was included in the water rates."
As Amer-Chrissy is going to dash off to work, Helen shows up with the puppy.
Helen: Some blonde left him on my doorstep.
Chrissy: Oh, you saw me. I mean her.
She says she was sleepwalking again, but Mrs. Roper saw her in her robe and slippers.
Mr. Roper comes up. He says he doesn't allow dogs in the builiding. Mrs. Roper says she knows the dog is an anniversary present. She winks at Chrissy, who plays along in relief.
After Mrs. Roper leaves, Mr. Roper says Jack's dish was delicious. He wants Jack to give the recipe to Mrs. Roper. "The stuff she feeds me ain't fit for a dog." In contrast, George was awake half the night with indigestion.
Jo misses the dog. Then Jim comes by with a puppy. He says Robin took the wrong dog, and he wants his back.
Commentary: Unlike, say, "And Then There Were Two," this episode doesn't take a drastically different route after Americanization, but there are certainly some striking differences. One is obviously that Larry plays a more important role on MatH, getting more scenes and more dialogue. Apparently, Amer-Larry was supposed to be a one-shot but John Ritter liked working with Richard Kline and wanted him back, while this is of course Brit-Larry already as a recurring character.
Instead of more of Amer-Larry's character development, we get more of Amer-Chrissy's backstory. I like that her being a minister's daughter is a consistent thread early on. We also get the whole bit about the Ropers' anniversary, and it is a neat way to tie up the plot. MatH in contrast deliberately leaves its plot unresolved, after making us think everything's OK now, which is cool in a diffferent way.
It's interesting that the remarks on the dining habits of the Chinese and French are toned down or omitted on 3'sC. We also don't get the bit about the kinky finger-biting. We do have that long innuendo session that Janet overhears. On Friends, Chandler Bing famously remarks, "Oh, I think this is the episode of Three's Company where there's some kind of misunderstanding." I get the impression that that didn't really happen on MatH, or only momentarily, as with Brit-Larry thinking his ship has come in.
I suppose I should have some sort of summing up of the first series of MatH, but seven episodes doesn't seem like long enough to judge. As when I watched the first season of 3'sC 34 years ago, I like it and want to see more, but there's not much change or development as yet.
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