And then there were two alone together.

With the fourth episode of MatH, the Americanization again starts out similarly but goes in a very different direction.  They also again held off on adapting it till the second season.  "And Then There Were Two" aired on 5 September 1973, but "Alone Together" appeared Oct. 25, 1977, a couple weeks before "Cyrano de Tripper."  "Alone Together" placed #4 in the ratings.


Two birds in a flat:  MatH starts out with Jo knitting pink booties for her sister's baby boy.  Chrissy worries that the colour will make the nephew sexually confused. 

Following Chrissy's instructions on the first episode, Robin is singing in the bath.
Jo:  That's his second bath this week.  I think he's in love.
Chrissy:  I think he is.  With me.
She thinks he at least fancies her.  He hasn't made a pass at her, but it's the way he hasn't.

This episode introduces Robin's mate Larry.  (The American Larry had to wait a bit longer.)  When Chrissy lets him in and says that Robin will be out in a bit as he isn't wearing any trousers, he says, "I'm not interrupting anything?"  They're going to a Fulham match.  Following some other advice of Chrissy's, Robin has started supporting a London team.  (Fulham, Google tells me, is north of Wandsworth and west of Lambeth.)

When Robin tells Larry that Chrissy is his flatmate, Larry says, "Sharing a flat with a bird?  Suggestive biscuits, eh?"  When he hears about Jo, he's very impressed that it's two birds in a flat.

Robin says he's got the girls in rotation, every other day.  Chrissy overhears.  When she brings them tea, she tells Robin, "I put plenty of sugar in yours.  You need plenty of energy."  Robin says they were just rehearsing a play.

Chrissy goes back to the kichen, where she tells Jo that Robin has "these wild erotic fantasies about us."  Skeptical Jo says, "Oh, me as well now?"  Chrissy says they've got a mutual protection society.  Jo reminds her she's going to her nephew's christening overnight.

Down at the Ropers, George accuses Mildred of flirting with the butcher.  Jo comes down and borrow a suitcase.


If I don't, who will?:  Not unlike George spying on Chrissy and David, Stanley in the opening credits of this episode is spying on the neighbors with binoculars.

The episode opens at the Ropers', where he's packing to go away overnight, to check out a real estate deal at Apache Springs.  When Mrs. Roper makes some innuendo, he says, "Why you gotta bring sex into everything?"  She replies, "If I don't, who will?"  And when he has a couple hours to kill before going to the airport, she wants to fool around.  He goes to pack his aspirin.


Is that what you think of me?:  Upstairs, the girls are doing morning yoga.  Jack tells Chrissy, "Don't get too firm.  I like to see a jiggle now and then."  (A sign of how times have changed.  And of course, thanks to Suzanne Somers, this was one of the "jiggle shows" of the late '70s, Charlie's Angels being another notable example.) 

Jack thinks this isn't real exercise, so Janet has him try it.  New-Yorkly, she tells him, "Take one of your feets," and has him do the lotus position.  He gets stuck in it and she tells him that getting out of it is next week's lesson.

The phone rings.  Janet asks, "Shall I say you're all tied up?"  (Again, one of those moments where she goes Britishy.)  She hands the phone to Jack.  His girlfriend Linda is calling.  He sounds passionate because he's in pain, but he tells her it's because of her.

After Janet hangs up the phone for him, she and Chrissy unfold him.  Janet jokes, "You wanna make a wish?"

The doorbell rings, Mrs. Roper.  She says that Stanley's leaving her.  Hold the congratulations, it's only overnight.  She says she's terrified of being alone.  Janet suggests she have someone stay over.  So Mrs. Roper invites Janet.  She's really looking forward to it.  "Just imagine, tonight I'll have someone to talk to."

Janet is suspicious of Jack's plans for being alone with Chrissy.  Jack demonstrates what he thinks Janet thinks he'll do.  He grabs Chrissy, kisses her, and throws her on the couch, narrating it. 
Jack:  And then who knows what.
Chrissy:  (eagerly) What?

But he leaves to do some "fast shopping for a very special dinner for two."  Janet says maybe she shouldn't stay with Mrs. Roper.  Chrissy is insulted, especially since she's been alone with Jack before.  Janet says never for all night.  Janet recommends that Chrissy not "do anything to give him the wrong ideas.  Or the right ideas.  Or any ideas."  For instance, Chrissy shouldn't walk around in her shorty nightgown.  "Don't be yourself."

Over at the flat, Jo says that her nephew will be christened Cyril, "after my Uncle Charles."  Chrissy is understandably confused.  "Well, there was this fellow Cyril who was after my Uncle Charles, and she [her sister] liked the name." 

Out in the kitchen, Robin is reading Quorum:  The Journal of Personal Relationships.  The cover shows a line drawing of group sex.  He defends it to Chrissy, "It's not a dirty book...It's a serious look at modern-day problems of man, woman, and one who's had a crack at being both." 

Following something in Quorum, he goes to get a measuring tape to measure his head.  The size will indicate virility.  Chrissy says, "He's obsessed with sex."  His head is "22 inches, that can't be right.  Ridiculous theory anyway.  If anything, I'm oversexed." 

Chrissy wants to go to the christening with Jo.  So Jo asks Robin to set Chrissy's mind at rest.  "She thinks you're all set to ravish her as soon as I'm gone."  Chrissy vehemently denies thinking this.

He measures her head.  "Twenty-two and seven-eighths?"  He leers and then beats his chest and makes gorillla noises.


Alone Together:  That night, Jack offers wine and cheese before dinner.  Chrissy emerges from the bathroom in a modest robe and curlers.  Jack is charmed, as it reminds him of his first girlfriend.  Her curlers "really turned him on."  He loves that Chrissy is herself in front of him.

So she picks up A Visitor's Tour of Sacramento and starts reading in front of him.  The book belonged to her father, the minister, who once preached a sermon there.  Jack says, "Even when you're rude, you're cute." 

She drops the book.  They both reach for it.  Their heads are close.  We cut to a commercial. 

Meanwhile, Robin and Brit-Chrissy are on the couch, watching the telly.  He says it'll be gettting dark soon.  She says he's deliberately been trying to make her nervous since Jo left.  He asks, "You have mended the lock on your bedroom door, haven't you?"  He quietly beats his chest.

Then he leans towards her and suggestively says, "Chrissy, don't you think it's time we (pause) went to the pub for a drink?"  She's very annoyed.

Downstairs, the Ropers are watching the same show.  (There weren't very many stations in Britain at the time.) 
George:  It's not decent.
Mildred:  It's The Bells of St. Mary's, George....It's the cleanest film ever made.

He means Chrissy and Robin. 
George:  They're alone together, the two of them.  It's not natural.
Mildred:  It is natural, George, I've been trying to tell you that for years.

She also says, "He's not gonna do much in front of Bing Crosby, is he?"  (I have no idea how she knows they've got the television on, too, unless the Ropers heard the upstairs set before they turned on their own.)  She points out that anyway Robin and Chrissy are over 21.  He points out that this is church-commissioned property.  "We could be struck by lightning."


Pow:  Back upstairs, Robin comes in and again invites Chrissy to the pub.  She thinks he wants to "pump her full of gin and tonic and then pow!"  She says he shouldn't drink either.  He says, "So this is what marriage is like?"
She says she'll be in bed when he gets back.  He says, "That's the spirit," and acts like a gorilla again, so of course Mrs. Roper shows up.  She comes in as he's leaving.  "Mr. Roper's been on at me to come up and find out if you're not enjoying yourselves."  She also says that Mr. Roper is on a diet so he doesn't think anyone else should eat.

At the pub, Robin and Larry drink.  Larry says that with two birds in the flat, he's surprised Robin can still lift a pint.  Robin thinks Jo fancies him.  (Ironically, Richard O'Sullivan and Sally Thomsett secretly dated during the run of the show, although I don't know if they were involved at this point.)  Robin talks about how atttractive he is.  He has only to snap his fingers to get a girl.  And then an attractive girl at the next table turns at the sound of his fingers snapping.  "Hello, Robin."

She's Liz, from his technical college.  She's there with her plainer friend Sheila, whom Larry gets stuck with.  Sheila is a Gary Glitter fan, finding him "ever so glittery."

Back at the flat, Mrs. Roper talks about an American she dated during the war, a big buck sergeant.  "I was never so well off for chewing gum."  But he went back to the States and she met Mr. Roper.  "Just wasn't my year."  Chrissy wants to keep Mrs. Roper there, but it's getting late.


'Struth:  Liz comes back to the flat for "coffee."  Then he'll show her his cookery books.  When Robin introduces Liz and Mrs. Roper, Mrs. Roper tells him, "Don't make too much noise."  Mr. Roper comes out into the hallway as Robin and Liz head up.  "'Struth!  He's got another one!"
Outside the door, Robin says he shares a flat with someone.
Liz:  What's he like?
Robin:  He's a real drag.  Weedy, boring, glasses.
Liz likes the intellectual type, but Robin says she wouldn't like the flatmate.  He has her wait out there while he checks to see if the flatmate is home.

He goes in and Chrissy comes out in a modest dressing gown.  He says he was hoping she'd be in bed.  "I won't beat about the bush.  Do me a favour.  Go to your bedrom."  She thinks he's chatting her up.  He explains that he's got a girl outside.

Chrissy:  What about me?
Robin:  Well, another night perhaps.
He suggests she phone someone, or knit.

He says if he hadn't pulled Liz, he'd be only too happy to "you know" with Chrissy.  She's understandably outraged.  He makes her go to her bedroom.  He goes back to the lounge.  He puts on soft music, turns down the lights, and opens the door.  He tells Liz he had to move the easily shocked goldfish.

He offers her a drink, then realises he doesn't have any.  No matter.  She cuddles up to him on the sofa.  He holds up a cigarette box and asks, "Are you smoking?"  Starting to neck, she says, "I am a bit."


Not even a little?:  The next morning, Janet returns from the Ropers'.  She sees the leftovers of the night before, including the empty wine bottle. 

Chrissy comes out of her bedroom, wearing a short nightgown and a shorter, less frumpy, open robe.  She's out of it and out of sorts, greeting Janet with "Morning, Jack." 

Janet several times says she had "quite an exciting evening."  They played dominos for four hours.  Then they talked.  Mrs. Roper's mother was a dressmaker and made all the bridesmaids' dresses for Helen's wedding, in black satin.  Chrissy isn't listening, and she leaves the room, defensive and upset.

In the bathroom, Jack is singing "Oh, what a beautiful morning!"  Janet knocks on the door. 
Janet:  Jack, are you decent?
Jack:  Depends what you had in mind.

He invites her in.
Jack:  Isn't it a sensational day?  I feel great!  The sun is shining, the birds are singing, surf's up.  How was your night?
Janet:  Oh, it was OK, but I always find it strange sleeping in a strange bed.
Jack:  Oh, me, too.
Janet reacts with wide, angry eyes.

He says he got a chance to get close to Chrissy.  When she's had a bit to drink, she really loosens up.
Janet:  How loose?
Jack:  Did you know she has a heart-shaped birthmark on her--?
Janet:  Yes, I did!
Jack:  And she talks in her sleep?

Singing again, Jack goes in the kitchen.  Chrissy returns to the living room, now in a turtleneck and slacks.  Janet wants to talk to her about last night, but Chrissy says it's too humiliating.  Janet calls men beasts.

Chrissy says she and Jack had wine, talked, and then he kissed her on the forehead.
Janet:  Before or after?
Chrissy:  Instead of.

It turns out he didn't try anything.  Chrissy frets, "Oh, Janet, do you think I'm losing my sex appeal?"  She says she didn't want him to do anything, but he at least could've tried.  Janet says, "You're right.  Men really are beasts.  Beast!"  She yells so loudly that Jack is startled into spilling his orange juice, in a quick cut to the kitchen.  Chrissy says it's all Mr. Roper's fault for going away.

While Brit-Chrissy's in her bedroom, she calls Jo and asks her about the christening.  Jo says it's the usual, the vicar wet one end and the baby wet the other.

Jo asks if Robin's tried it on yet.
Chrissy:  I'll say he has!  He's trying it on at this very moment!
Jo:  Oh, you're keeping your voice very steady.
Chrissy:  Oh!  Not with me!
Jo is very amused that Robin doesn't fancy Chrissy.  Chrissy is glad she reversed the charges.  She angrily hangs up.


Meanwhile at Apache Springs:  Mr. Roper is on the phone with his wife.  He also had to adjust to a strange bed, having had to drink seven cups of cocoa to get to sleep.  Also, there's a wild party going on right now, which he called the cops about.  A salesman named Mr. Crawford stops by, with a sexy girl named Sherry Lee.  They invite Mr. Roper skinnydipping.  He tells his wife he's got a meeting.  To get Mr. Roper to buy land, Mr. Crawford has Sherry try to seduce Mr. Roper.  We even see her naked back, when she's wearing a towel because she had to take off the blouse that she spilled a "drinkypoo" on.  Of course the cops show up and arrest Mr. Roper.


He's got Linda:  Back at the apartment, Jack's on the phone with Linda again, but Janet makes him hang up and promise to call Linda back.  Janet wants Jack to apologize to Chrissy for not making a pass at her.  Janet explains that Jack comes on strong with girls and so Chrissy thought she wasn't worth the effort.  He says, "With Chrissy, it wouldn't be an effort."

When Chrissy comes back in, he says, "I'm sorry I didn't make a pass at you last night."  Chrissy gets mad at Janet for telling.  Jack says, "Chrissy, she told me because she loves you.  And I love you."  Not like that!  He says he might've tried to get it on with her, but he's seeing Linda on a regular basis.  "I guess I'm a one-woman kind of guy."

Chrissy:  It's not important.
Jack:  It is important!  Why, if I wasn't dating Linda, I'd have been all over you last night!  Oh yeah, I would've thrown you on the sofa, and ripped off your clothes, and attacked you like a mad dog!
Chrissy:  (thrilled) Oh, Jack, thank you!

The phone rings, Linda again.  Then Mrs. Roper drops by, so Jack takes the phone in the kitchen.  Mrs. Roper says that Stanley called and he's going to have to stay in Apache Springs for two more days.  "Something about official business and being detained for 48 hours."  She invites Janet over again.  Janet is hesitant, but Chrissy says, "Oh, go ahead, don't worry about me.  Remember, he's got Linda."

Janet says OK.  Mrs. Roper exits, saying she'll polish up the dominos.  Janet looks like she's dreading the next two nights.

Jack comes in, upset with Linda.
Jack:  I'm thinking of breaking it off with her.  She said something I didn't dig.
Both girls:  What?
Jack:  She said get lost.
Linda found another guy.  Jack asks what's on for tonight.  Both girls look worried.

We never find out what happens the next two nights.  The episode ends with Mr. Roper happy to be home, drinking cocoa, sitting in bed with Mrs. Roper.  and then he accidentally calls her Sherry.


Mustn't grumble:  Back out in the lounge, Robin talks about an article he read in Quorum, about giving in to your inner emotions.  Liz undoes his tie and snuggles closer.  The article also said that sharing things with someone can be very meaningful. 

Liz says she'd like to meet his flatmate.  Robin says "he" is very boring.  Chrissy overhears this and becomes furious.  She turns off the music, turns on the lights, and then sits down in the chair and knits.  Robin and Liz pull apart.  Robin straightens his clothes and says, "Er, Liz, Chrissy."

Chrissy:  I went to the clinic today, Pet....They confirmed it.  It might even be twins.
Robin:  She's kidding.
Liz:  That's what she just said.

Robin says that's not even her knitting.  It belongs to the other girl he lives with.  Chrissy says he has them every other day.  She gets out of the chair like she's pregnant.  Her exit line is "Don't believe him about his vasectomy." 

Liz says she doesn't want to upset Chrissy "in her condition."  She storms out.

Chrissy tells Robin it serves him right. 
Robin:  I mustn't grumble.  You're still here.
Chrissy:  Can't you take a joke?
Robin:  Come to me, My Lovely. 
He undoes his shirt.  She says she'll scream.  He chases her.  She slams her bedroom door in his face.  He imitates a gorilla again.  And then he makes himself tea, as British an ending as you can get.


Commentary:  The first thing to address here is the whole issue of rape.  These are both light, frothy shows, and very pre-P.C., but there is this undertone of "Robin/Jack is going to rape Chrissy."  Jo uses the word "ravish" and Jack's language-- "rip your clothes off," "attack you like a mad dog"-- is violent.  Things are complicated because both Chrissies seem to half-hope the male roommate will "you know" with them.  I can't explain things beyond the UK and the US were both dealing with the fallout of the sexual revolution, and this is television and farce, so nothing is ever going to happen, no matter how much teasing is going on.  Both Chrissies are "nice girls" who are curious about sex.  It's unclear if they're virgins.  (Yes, Amer-Chrissy had a low melting point, but the writers backtrack from that as time goes on.)  There is some attraction on their side towards the male roommates.  Note that Brit-Chrissy sort of starts the whole thing by claiming that Robin fancies her.

The ways the male roommates handle the situations are interesting.  Robin deliberately tries to make his Chrissy nervous.  Jack makes his nervous accidentally.  As for the third roommates, Janet fuels Chrissy's suspicions and gives her advice that backfires, while Jo finds the whole thing ridiculous.  Then when Amer-Chrissy doubts her sex appeal (with lines lifted from the whole thing about whether or not David was just shy with Jo), Janet is anxious to help them work things out.

The set-up is different as well.  Mr. Roper is the one leaving the building overnight.  Janet is only going downstairs.  Jo goes off to her nephew's christening, and I love the tidbits about her family.  It's also nice to get backstory for both Mrs. Ropers.  Note that Brit-Chrissy enjoys chatting with Mildred, while Janet doesn't enjoy spending so much time with Helen.

The Liz/Linda split is interesting.  Liz is the first classmate of Robin's we meet, as well as the first girl he brings back to the flat.  There's no suggestion they've ever dated before, and it seems unlikely she'll give him another chance.  Linda, on the other hand, despite having found another guy, will show up in person on a few episodes.  Jack, of course, is not a one-woman man, but it works for this episode.

This pair of episodes definitely feel very '70s, from Jack's vocabulary (dig, surf's up, etc.) to the "relationship" advice in Quorum, all that talk about emotions when you really mean getting it on.  If I recall correctly, there's an early episode of 3'sC where Jack reads a similar magazine and measures his head.