The 9th episode of MatH became the fifth episode of 3'sC and placed #10 in the ratings. It's always been my least favorite of the first season of 3'sC, but there are definitely worse episodes in the series. "Colour Me Yellow" aired 16 January 1974, "Jack the Giant Killer" April 14, 1977.
Squalor: In London, the girls are scraping off the wallpaper. They enjoy the "squalor" of their flat, but it's in their lease that they have to redecorate every three years. (This suggests that they lived with Eleanor for a couple years before she left.) Meanwhile, the American girls are working on the couch.
Robin is off at his judo lesson, which Chrissy says is "like flower-arranging, with violence." When he returns, he wants to demonstrate judo on Chrissy, but she says he's after "a quick Japanese fumble."
Robin: Look, I'm not going to be able to learn if you won't let me practise on you.
Chrissy: Yeah, that's what they all say.
Robin pretends to be "a young sweet girl" walking down the street. Chrissy says, "In high boots and a miniskirt?...You're a bit old-fashioned. They went out years ago."
Robin tells her, "You're a big, rough, drunken sailor and you're gonna ravish me." He has her grab him and "force him down" onto the sofa. She notices he's not resisting. "I'm one of those girls who like rough, drunken sailors. Give us a kiss!"
Jack was out riding his bike. He says he has to keep in shape as, "old watchdog Jack." He was following a girl with "a jiggling seat." He fixed her seat.
Like a "real upholsterer," he puts the tacks in his mouth as he works on the couch. Then he pretends he swallowed the tacks. Janet is about to get him some water, but he says, "No water, the tacks will get rusty," and reveals that he hid them in his hand.
Toothache: Downstairs, both Mr. Ropers wonder about the thumping upstairs. Mildred says that the kids are redecorating, "just like you did in 1947." Helen says that they're redecorating. Stanley says he just redecorated. She says, "I think the style's have changed since 1947." He says it was two years ago, when her mother was visiting. (It's not clear if Janet and Chrissy were living there yet, but I doubt it.)
Helen: I don't see how anything could get that grubby in two years.
Stanley: Don't look at me, it's your mother.
Mildred is looking through a catalog and hands it to George.
Mildred: George, how would you fancy me coming to bed in that?
George: What, a golfcart?
She's talking about the see-through nightie. He'd rather see her in the golfcart. She says, "It's sexy, George," but he says it'd "be like wrapping a brick in Christmas paper."
The Amer-Ropers have a similar conversation, only there's nothing about Christmas paper.
Both Mr. Ropers are cranky because of toothaches. The Mrs. Ropers suggest taking aspirin, Mildred recommending 100, Helen the whole bottle. The Mr. Ropers say their wives would enjoy being merry widows. Mildred, who's smoking, says that there is a black coat. (Coat?) Helen asks Stanley to see if the nightie comes in black.
Wallpaper: Robin wants to demonstrate with the lamp how he would treat a rude man. Chrissy says, "Look, are you gonna strip off or not?" He says, "You know, I've been waiting for that invitation."
The American girls accidentally set the couch on Jack's foot. After they lift it, he says that nine toes are more than enough. He reacts to Janet's "slave-driving" with "I would hate to work for you in your flower shop. I bet you've got all the daisies standing at attention," a line that becomes ironic the next season with the episode "Jack in the Flower Shop."
Chrissy shows Robin the wallpaper. He says it's a bit plain. She says that's the back. He looks at the front and prefers the back.
He wants the room to reflect his personality. She says if they put up randy wallpaper, they'll have the police round.
She suggests various tasks. Jo says, "Or we could go to the pub?" He of course chooses that.
Amer-Chrissy says it's Saturday, but Janet says they agreed to work on the apartment. There's the "back of the wallpaper" exchange, and then Chrissy suggests going to the pub, which Jack approves.
Pub Showdown: At the Mucky Duck, there are two blokes with moustaches. According to the credits, the big one is named Mick, his friend Paddy. If they're supposed to be Irish, I can't tell by the accents. The two guys at the bar in the Regal Beagle are Jeff (big guy with a captain's hat) and Pete (his friend). There's little or no reference to their names within the programs, but I'm naming them here for clarity.
Mick is bragging about a recent date. "Before she could say she wasn't that sort of a girl, she was." Jeff had a girl out on his boat, and he told her it was a long swim back to shore. Jeff stole the girl from her boyfriend, but Mick isn't any better, since he's rude to Jim the Landlord.
The trios come in. Brit-Chrissy says they should be scraping the walls, while Janet tells her roommates that this is just a little break. Jack says, "You can work on the walls, and Chrissy and I will get on the sofa."
Brit-Chrissy/Janet calls Robin/Jack lazy. Jo/Amer-Chrissy says all men are like that, "it's in their genes," with the implied pun of "jeans."
Robin wants to put his order on the slate. Jim says, "Your slate's big enough to put a roof on a council house." Amer-Jim, who makes his premiere here, only ever gets straight lines. Jack orders from the barmaid instead. (The 3'sC barmaids seem to constantly change by the way, although one did feature in a plot in the Cindy era.)
After Robin goes back to the table, Mick tells Paddy that Robin is selfish, with two birds. He plans to "give the dark one a bit of a thrill." Jeff tells Pete, "That poor guy got stuck with two broads. I think I'll do him a favor."
Robin is talking about judo, while Jack is explaining that fixing a sofa is a man's job, because men are naturally stronger. He talks about man's role all through history, as worker and protector.
Mick/Jeff offers the Chrissies a drink. They say no, but Mick/Jeff is persistent. After Amer-Chrissy tells him to take a walk, he says he's got a 35-foot cabin cruiser, so she says, "Then take a cruise."
He asks if she's with anybody. Robin says that his Chrissy is with him, well, him and Jo. Amer-Chrissy says, "I am with him!" Jack says that in a sense, they're all together.
Mick says it's not fair that Robin has both girls. Robin/Jack stands up and starts to warn Mick/Jeff. Then Robin sees how tall Mick is. Mick tells him to sit down. Robin does, reluctantly. Jeff tells Jack that the last guy who warned him got all his teeth knocked out. Jack sits back down, because his father paid a fortune for his braces.
Paddy calls Mick over. Mick says he'll be back the next night. "Only don't bring him with ya, 'cause he frightens me." Jeff says he'll be back tomorrow, "but don't bring him along. He frightens me."
Robin/Jack says he didn't want to cause a scene. The girls say he did the right ting. Brit-Chrissy says, "You stood up to him. And then you sat down again." This line gets split between Janet and Amer-Chrissy.
Both sets of Ropers come into the pub and head to the bar. Mr. Roper is in agony because of his toothache, but does anyone feel sorry for him? His wife says yes, he does. Mildred orders a brandy for him. Stanley places his own order. Mick/Jeff jostles Mr. Roper's arm as he's drinking. George calls Mick stupid, while Stanley calls Jeff a clumsy idiot.
Mr. Roper sort of stands up to the bully (Stanley more than George). Mick calls him "a regular little bantam cock" and says he thought they were all sissies in the pub. He buys George another brandy. Jeff says, "Barkeep, another brandy for my friend. We just made an important discovery. We just found a man in this joint. It makes me feel real good to see a little runt like you sticking up for his rights." Stanley sincerely thanks him.
Mick says something about soritng out the men from the mice and rabbits. Jim comes by the table and tells Robin, "Cheese and lettuce for you." Robin glares at him. The Amer-barmaid comes over and says to the girls, "Let's see, you two are the egg salad," then to Jack, "And I believe you're the chicken."
A smile: The next morning, Jo is burning breakfast again. Janet is ready for her cooking lesson, a cheese omelet. Jack thinks she's offering him cheese because he's a mouse, not a man. It turns out she didn't take off the plastic wrap.
Both men are defensive about last night. Jack thinks he's a coward, "yellow." He says that in school fat Kenny Jensen threatened to beat him up every morning unless he got a nickel. Jack put him through college.
Janet again tells Jack he did the right thing. He says he's going to go shave. She asks about the omelet. He says he couldn't even beat up an egg.
Robin/Jack walks in on the Chrissies in the shower. The curtain is drawn but Brit-Chrissy pokes out her head and we can hear Amer-Chrissy, as they ask when he's going to fix the lock. Robin says he will as soon as he loses interest in the naked female form. Jack says, "Why don't you call a man to do it?" She says, "We've got a man, you."
Both men pretend their shaving cream dissolves plastic and spray it on the shower curtain. The Chrissies scold them, but they say that the way they feel, they "couldn't even raise a smile."
Robin asks if she thinks he's a coward. We get a quick cut to her in the shower, shoulders up. She says what Jo told him, at least he still has all his teeth. Amer-Chrissy pokes her head out to reply that they like him just the way he is, with a face and everything.
Like a bee: Downstairs, Mr. Roper is dwelling on his triumph last night, although his wife thought she might get the black coat/nightgown after all. George compares the fight to Clay & Liston. He misquotes Clay/Ali, "Sting like a butterfly, float like a bee." Both he and Stanley demonstrate boxing moves. They want to see the Sunday paper, but it hasn't come yet. Stanley says maybe the fight made the sports page. She says, "Or the funnies." Mildred says he's been talking about this for 24 hours, but the chronology is messed up on MatH9. She attributes his courage to his toothache.
John Wayne: Back in the upstairs flat, Chrissy tells Jo, "You could lay a speedway trap with your sausages." Jo admits they may actually be eggs.
Robin is still upset about his "cowardice." Chrissy tells him, "You can't all be John Wayne. There have to be some Woody Allens in the world." Jo says he's brave for almost finishing breakfast.
In the lounge, he turns on the radio. "The Ballad of High Noon" plays. He turns it off angrily at the repeated word "coward."
In the American apartment, Jack laughs at the funnies. Janet is surprised that they got the paper since they don't subscribe. Chrissy says that the nice paperboy waited for her to bend over and pick up the paper before he rode away.
Jack is reading a comic about a little guy who drops a can of paint on a bully's head.
Jack: Now why couldn't I have done that?
Chrissy: Because you can't draw.
She says she hates violence. Her father always said in his sermons, "He who lives by the sword shall die by the sword." Jack replies, "Yeah, well, you can tell your father that if I'd been David, Goliath would still be alive today."
George comes by for his copy of News of the World. Ther's a wet paintbrush lying on one section. In the kitchen, the girls are putting burnt food and pink paint on the rest of the paper.
The other Mr. Roper wants his paper. Unfortunately, as Jack goes to answer the door, he angrily tears the funnies to show what he should've done to Jeff. Before Stanley finds out, he says he likes Andy Capp. "Now there's a guy who knows how to treat women."
Jack hands Mr. Roper the torn funnies. Then he goes to the kitchen, but Janet has knocked the coffee pot onto the rest of the paper. Chrissy suggests putting the paper in the dryer.
George doesn't seem upset. He boasts about standing up to Mick. Robin gets paint on him while gesturing with a brush.
Stanley is much angrier. Jack offers to treat him at the pub, although the girls don't want Jack to go back there. Mr. Roper says he heard about the incident. He tells Jack, "You could never get into a fight. It would ruin your nails."
Chrissy: You know, if women ran the world, there'd be none of these stupid wars. (Janet nods.)
Stanley: Yeah, all the countries would nag each other to death. (The audience applauds and whistles.)
He calls Jack Tinkerbell, I think for the first time to his face. And then when Mrs. Roper comes up, he says he was "telling all the girls here" they can come to him for protection. But he's not so brave when she tells him that the dentist can see him today.
Plates: The trios do return to their pubs, although the girls are all reluctant. Jo says they should go to The Feathers instead.
The Chrissies think that the male roommates hope to get out of redecorating by being sent to the hospital.
Robin smokes and consults his judo book. Jo says, "All men are the same. Now if women ran this world, there'd be no wars." Surprisingly, it's Chrissy who gets the "nag" line.
Jim wants Robin to settle up his slate before the big fellow comes in. Chrissy wants them to drink up and go home. She offers to do "the dance of the seven dust sheets" for Robin. He says, "You think I'm sex-mad, don't you?" She says, yes, going by the books hidden underneath his bed. Jo says they're under his wardrobe.
Jack has a very strong whiskey. Chrissy thinks they should drink up and leave quickly.
When Jack says, "A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do," Janet sarcastically says, "John Wayne rides again."
Mick/Jeff enters. Mick just says hello, but Jeff says, "Hello, Sweetie," with a limp writst gesture. Robin doesn't like the way Mick said it. Robin checks his judo book again.
Jack is more understandably offended. He wants to order their sandwiches, but Janet goes to the bar this time. She makes the guy laugh by saying Jack will knock his block off. Jack gets to his feet. Chrissy says, "He's only laughing. I mean, Janet is funny sometimes, you know?"
Chrissy takes Robin's empty glass to the bar and talks to Mick. After awhile, Robin comes over.
Robin: Is he insulting you?
Chrissy: No!
Robin: Well, he did last night.
Jack has a similar conversation with Janet.
Robin thinks an apology is in order, the way Mick was insulting people, knocking over drinks. Then Robin accidentally knocks over Mick's drink. And then he does it on purpose. Mick is angry but he goes elsewhere in the pub.
After Jack accidentally knocks over Jeff's drink while talking about knocking over drinks, he says he's not sorry. He makes a fake martial arts move and cry. Jeff apologizes and leaves for another part of the pub.
Jim says Robin was foolhardy, especially with his "dicky [weak] heart and a silver plate in his skull." That's what Chrissy told Mick. While Robin's denying it, Mick comes back. Robin feigns a headache and pain in his chest.
Amer-Jim gives Jack a drink on the house. He says he didn't know about the steel plate in Jack's head, the one he got saving his platoon in Vietnam. (This would make Jack let's say 24+ in 1977, if he'd joined up in '71 or earlier.) Janet admits that this is what she told "the creep."
Both sets of girls think their male roommates were brave for standing up to the bullies.
Jack: I guess I was a hero, even if I didn't go to Vietnam.
Jeff: (returning) What?
Jack: It was Cambodia.
In nervousness, Jack falls back in his chair. From the floor, he salutes. The girls laugh heartily.
Commentary: This pair of episodes are about what it means to be a man. Both Robin and Jack are fairly athletic, although not as much as they pretend. Part of why they live with the girls is to offer protection, as the Chrissies' mothers pointed out in the second episodes. But when faced with bullies, they aren't as brave and tough as they'd like to be, and they suffer crises in confidence. Impotent in one sense, it's also implied that they can no longer get erections, even when the Chrissies are in the shower. (The smile line is par for the course on MatH but very racy for 3'sC.)
Meanwhile, the "runty" Mr. Ropers, prompted by the agony of toothaches, stand up to the bullies. Their wives are not impressed. Stanley's line about Andy Capp is interesting because that comic strip character (British but popular world-wide) treats his wife horribly: frequently coming home drunk, cheating on her, sponging off her, and (until readers protested) beating her up. Mr. Roper does none of these things, and I don't think he particularly wants to, but he probably envies Andy never being outsmarted by his wife (which Helen does to him on a regular basis).
The most stereotypically manly of the characters in these episodes are the bullies. Robin (in a scene that pops up later on 3'sC, I think somewhere in the second season) jokes about Chrissy ravishing him, but he's not being forced down or into anything, and we know he wouldn't really force Chrissy. Mick and Jeff though come across as having no respect for consent. Not only do they ignore the Chrissies' pleas that they go away, but it's implied that they attacked the two nameless women. (Certainly, Jeff didn't give the woman on his boat much choice.) They of course bully Robin and Jack, as well as implying that neither is a "real man."
Paddy and Pete are the sort of men who encourage their friends to act like jerks, at least to a point. The two Jims come across as the most pleasant men in these two episodes, sensible and concerned.
The fictional men mentioned are Jack and Chrissy's fathers. Again, Reverend Snow's being a minister is significant to his daughter's character. And we're reminded again that Jack is solidly middle-class. His father could afford braces for him, but they cost a fortune. (Also, Jack could afford to pay Kenny Jensen a nickel every schoolday.)
The two extremes of male role models are John Wayne and Woody Allen, both American, but stoic Western hero and neurotic Eastern intellectual. Of course, even Wayne and Allen didn't completely fit those stereotypes. So Robin and Jack don't have to either, although it takes them awhile to realize that. Jack in particular has it hard because he's being called effeminate by both Jeff and Mr. Roper.
I don't think either show is saying that violence is in men's genes, but doubts about manhood are part of being a man, particularly in such a transitional time as the 1970s. And now that I've been able to analyze these episodes, I like "Jack the Giant Killer" more than I used to. Its statement on gender and violence is more ambiguous than I once thought.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
"While the Cat's Away"/"Three's Christmas"
The second-series opener for MatH is so drastically different from its American "counterpart" that at first I thought it hadn't been Americanized. But some of the lines sounded suspiciously familiar. Finally, it hit me, it was the Christmas episode for the second season of 3'sC. Although this is easily the most drastically different pairing so far, I still want to compare them and talk about some of the reasons why these took such different paths.
"While the Cat's Away" aired 9 January 1974. "Three's Christmas" aired almost four years later, on Dec. 20th, 1977, reaching #5 in the ratings.
Let's have a party!: After a surprisingly laugh-track-less theme song, MatH8 opens with the trio watching television. Robin predicts, "Any minute now, there'll be clothes torn off, red-hot passion, bodies writhing on the floor, you know, squeals of delight." Chrissy says, "In The Lone Ranger?" He says, no, they'll turn the telly off first.
Chrissy is interested in an actor named Mark, who they saw on the telly during a production of Hedda Gabler. He was demonstrating deodorant, for an advert.
The three of them are bored. Jo suggests having a party. Chrissy thinks the Ropers would disapprove.
Over in the States, Janet decorates the Christmas tree. Jack, wearing a mistletoe sweatband, comes out of his bedroom and gives her a big kiss. Then he smooches Chrissy. He smooches Janet again, so she "chops off his sprig" with her scissors. But he has a spare sprig.
They open presents. I mentioned earlier that Chrissy's full name is Christmas Snow, but I forgot that it's actually first revealed on this episode. She says, "My father was a big fan of Bing Crosby."
Janet says of her gift of perfume, " '1001 nights.' If it gets me just one, I'll be happy."
Both girls got Jack socks. They briefly quarrel about it. Jack got Janet a scarf and Chrissy a belt. They end up trading. He points at his mistletoe and they both kiss him.
This is Chrissy's first Christmas away from home. (I'm sure she's been living away from home at least a year by this point, based on evidence elsewhere, but maybe she went home for Christmas '76.) She talks about the parties her father used to throw, how they invited everyone, including the local rabbi, and it was lots of fun.
Janet: Gee, Chrissy, I thought your father was a real stern minister.
Chrissy: He is, except when he's having fun.
She misses having a party, like back home. Jack suggests having a party in the apartment. Janet says this is a great idea. He has her kiss him again. She says they don't have to worry about making noise. The Ropers went to Helen's brother's for the whole weekend.
While the cat's away: The Brit-Ropers are also going to visit her brother and his family. George doesn't want to go. His brother-in-law brags, including about his automatic garage door opener. Mildred says she doesn't know why her brother invites them, "after what you did in their fishtank." George blames the cheap Spanish wine. She says he didn't have to tip it in. The guppies were drunk for days.
Mr. Roper is worried about something go wrong with the building and/or budgie while they're gone. Mrs. Roper suggests leaving the key upstairs. We learn that Mr. Roper is very amused that his brother-in-law lost his licence for drinking and driving.
Upstairs, Robin suggests inviting the Ropers to their party. Chrissy says Mrs. Roper is all right but Mr. Roper is the kiss of death. And then Jo burns the oven glove.
Mrs. Roper drops by with the key to her flat. She says they'll be gone for the weekend, leaving Saturday morning and coming back on Monday. Chrissy says they'll make sure there are no wild parties while the Ropers are gone.
Hello, Gorgeous: Robin plans to invite "the most seductive, sensual, sexy bird you could wish to meet." Chrissy says, "Well, I'm coming anyway." He actually means Liz Martin, so it looks like I was wrong and we haven't seen the last of Liz.
Jack is going to invite "the most sensual, sexy, seductive woman you ever saw." Janet says, "Well, you can't invite one of us, we're already here." Jack is talking about the luscious Liz Martin.
Robin: Oh, hello, Gorgeous. It's me. I've just been overcome by lust and I have this crude proposition to-- Hello, hello, Mrs. Martin. Could I speak to Elizabeth please?
Jack: Hi, Gorgeous. It's me. Listen, I have just been overcome by lust and I have a crude proposition to-- Oh, hello, Mrs. Martin. Could I speak to your daughter? And a Very Merry Christmas to you.
The Brit-trio continue this scene at the pub, while the Amer-trio stay in their apartment. (Generally, MatH changes scenes more often than 3'sC, I don't know why.)
They've got 14 girls and 14 fellows on their invite list now. Jo invites the gay couple at the next table, Maurice and Henry. Chrissy says, "I don't know which column to put them in."
Jo wants more fellows than girls at the party because she wants them fighting over her. Meanwhile, Robin puts a lot on the slate, I guess running up a debt as he buys alcohol and crisps and such from Jim the Landlord.
Amer-Chrissy calls Mark. Janet tells Jack that this is Chrissy's latest, kind of an actor. Janet delivers the lines about Hedda Gabler and deodorant.
Brit-Mark shows up at the pub. His agent wants him to play a freeze-dried pea in the next advert.
Mark: (to Robin) I ask you, what does a pea sound like?
Robin: Pardon?
Amer-Mark can't make it to the party. He's busy shooting another commercial. (On Christmas Day?) Chrissy tells Janet that Mark will be the voice of a freeze-dried pea.
Chrissy: What's a pea sound like?
Jack: (reentering from the kitchen) Pardon?
Janet suggests making a list of who to invite. She wants more guys than girls, so the guys will fight over her. Jack just wants one girl who likes to say yes.
The Ropers come into the pub. Robin tells them he'll be in all weekend, doing a little studying, a little reading. Jim puts the crate of booze on the counter. With perfect delivery, Robin says, "I might have a little drink."
Before the party: Robin again wears the bra-and-panties apron. This time the audience really reacts, laughing for quite awhile. He objects to using Donald Duck plates for the party. Chrissy says they also have some Popeye plates. "Oh, that's all right!"
Downstairs, Mr. Roper says goodbye to the budgie.
Back upstairs, Robin asks if they're going to let people into the bedrooms at the party, you know what parties can develop into, with any luck. Chrissy says that's all he thinks of. Jo says to be fair, he thinks about football and cooking as well. Chrissy says, "Oh, yes, if he could get his girlfriend and a gas stove in the middle of Wembley Stadium, he'd be away."
Jo looks out the window and sees the Ropers drive away. Robin puts his arms around both girls and says now they're alone with him. Chrissy says they can do anything they like. "Oh, and what were you thinking of, My Tempestuous Beauty?" She was thinking of eating his cheese dip.
Full Swing: We get an exterior shot of the building and rock music plays as a couple gets out of their car. Then we cut to the flat, where the music is coming from. Chrissy, in a lowcut yellow dress, is dancing with Mark.
Jo, more modestly dressed, is mixing drinks, as badly as she cooks. Robin says what she needs is a little fruit. So Henry turns around.
Robin asks if Jo has seen Liz. Since Jo was at her nephew's christening when Robin had Liz over last time, she doesn't know what Liz looks like. Robin, holding two oranges, moves them closer to his chest.
Chrissy asks Mark if he likes her dress, if it gives her a sexy look, like Susan George. Mark just says yes. He does tell her he auditioned for a crowd scene in Straw Dogs (which starred Susan George), but he and Peckinpah didn't hit it off.
Robin asks Chrissy if she's seen Liz. She says no and tells him to get her a drink, but Mark goes to get the drink.
Robin asks what she sees in Mark. She says Mark has a lovely disposition.
Robin: I know, but he wastes it on himself.
Chrissy: He's got one thing you haven't got.
Robin: What?
Chrissy: Me.
Mark answers the door. It's Liz, with a very different hairstyle now, which is probably why I didn't recognize her when I watched this episode before. Her dress is even more revealing than Chrissy's. She recognises Mark. He gives her Chrissy's martini.
Chrissy: Who's that tarty-looking bird chatting up Mark?
Robin: That is Liz.
Chrissy: Yeah, I know, and look at them. Lust at first sight.
Robin says Liz is very attractive and every man at the party fancies her. Henry or Maurice laughs fruitily.
Robin: Well, almost.
Chrissy: I'm hardly surprised. I've seen higher necklines on a topless waitress.
Robin says he'll glide over there and smoothly separate them. Mark and Liz are now on the couch. She asks if he's ever met Michael Caine. Mark stood behind him in line for the canteen at Pinewood.
Liz: What's he like?
Mark: Hamburger and chips.
Robin invites her to dance. She doesn't want to.
Mark says that the most important thing in acting is sincerity. Robin says, "Yes, once you've learned to fake that, you're all right."
Mark invites Liz to dance. She says, "I'd love to."
Jo: (grinning) Don't worry, he's got big ears anyway.
Chrissy: Oh, shut up!
Chrissy asks Robin, who's now smoking, "What happened to your famous sex appeal?" He says, "It's alive and well and standing next to you." He invites her to dance.
Time passes and we see them slow-dancing. He tries to say something about him being a man, and her being a woman, but her sarcasm heads him off. He invites her into his bedroom, just to talk. She says, "It's more crowded in there than it is in here."
He offers to get her a drink. She says, "I'm not sure I could trust myself if I had another drink. Gin and tonic please."
Jo says they're out of ice and she makes Chrissy go downstairs to get some from the Ropers'. Robin offers to carry the ice bucket. He also takes a bottle and glasses.
Liz is cuddling with Mark, but when she sees Robin and Chrissy leave, she grumbles, "Oh, that's nice. He invites me to a party and then goes off with someone else."
Bedding down the budgie: Chrissy is suspicious when Robin puts the cover over the birdcage.
Robin: I'm just bedding down the budgie.
Chrissy: Well, that's all you're bedding down tonight.
Robin says it's quieter down there at the Ropers'. He suggests they have a drink before they go. She says just one, or the ice will start to melt.
Robin: (putting his arm around her) You know, Chrissy, sometimes, sometimes, you know, a man wants more. He wants, he wants something fine and warm, you know. And one day he wakes up and realises it's under his nose.
Chrissy: You're thinking of growing a moustache.
Robin: I'm very serious, Chrissy. I mean, we all want the relationship, the warm relationship--
Chrissy: Look, why don't you come right out with it and say what you're after?
Robin: I just don't know the words.
Chrissy: Yes, you do. I've heard you using them. Anyway, look, remember what we agreed when you moved in.
Robin: Seven pounds fifty a week.
Chrissy: Not that, the other.
Robin: Well, what about it?
Chrissy: There wasn't going to be any. Look, I'm flesh and blood as well.
Robin: I've only got your word for it, Chrissy.
Chrissy: Well, all I'm saying is, if you were a gentleman, you wouldn't take advantage of the way I'm feeling now.
He pulls her closer for a kiss.
Return of the Ropers: We get another exterior shot of the building. We can see silhouettes of the party upstairs. Mr. Roper drives up and parks the car. Apparently he kept talking about his brother-in-law being a drunken driver. Mildred says, "They'll never ask us again." George says that then the evening wasn't a complete waste.
Back in the States, the Ropers return to their apartment. She was never so ashamed in all her life. He kept talking about her brother being arrested for drunk driving. They have the "complete waste" exchange here. And then we get the bit about the garage door opener. And finally the "fishtank" conversation, although the cheap wine isn't Spanish, and Mr. Roper gets a line about the old expression "drinking like a fish."
Jimmy & Betty: Upstairs, Janet is on the phone. All their friends are going to Jimmy and Betty Stevens's party in the neighboring building.
The doorbell rings, Mrs. Roper. They all wish Merry Christmas.
The trio are surprised to see her. She says, "I don't think that Stanley and my brother get along very well." She says they keep hitting each other.
She invites the three of them to a Christmas party. Chrissy is enthusiastic. Jack and Janet are more reluctant. Mrs. Roper promises a cake and Spin the Bottle.
After she leaves, the phone rings. It's Jimmy Stevens asking why they're not at the party. They never got the invitation. Jack happily accepts. He and Janet hug and then sing and dance, but Chrissy insists on going to the Ropers'.
Jack says whale-gutting in the Arctic would be more fun. Janet admits it would be a lousy trick to play on the Ropers if they didn't turn up. Then they realize that Mr. Roper is usually asleep by 9:30 and they can go to the Stevenses' party.
The girls guilt-trip Jack about which pair of socks he's going to wear.
Festive: Helen tells Stanley to look more festive. He asks if he should stick holly up his nose. He doesn't want to party with the kids. The trio come by and we hear that Jack's been talking about nothing but the party all day.
The Ropers have a pink plastic Christmas tree. It's pine-scented, so it also works as an air freshener. Helen's brother Billy gave them the Christmas wreath, wrapped around Stanley's neck.
Mr. Roper serves them a tiny bit of Scotch. He notices that Jack's socks don't match. Janet says, "He has another pair just like it upstairs."
Helen: What shall we play?
Stanley: I don't like games.
Helen: Tell me about it.
It turns out that Mrs. Roper plays a lot of solitaire in bed. Mr. Roper gets the cards from the bedroom and does a pathetic card trick. Mrs. Roper says Jack looks pensive. He says he's thinking of whale-gutting in the Arctic.
The phone rings and Mr. Roper answers it.
Chrissy: Come on, Jack, get your fingers moving!
Jack: Hm?
She wants him to play the piano, so he does. I don't recognize the tune.
Mr. Roper comes over and says that Helen's brother found her earrings in the punch bowl.
Stanley: Has he been playing long?
Chrissy: No, he just started now.
Mr. Roper says, "I can sing you know," which sounds like a threat. He sits next to Jack on the piano bench and sings, "Oh, give me some men who are stout-hearted men...." Jack grins at him and bats his eyelashes. Mr. Roper quickly gets up and switches to "Roll out the Barrel." Chrissy happily sings along. Janet and Mrs. Roper look bored. Jack crosses his eyes at the end.
There's a time lapse and Mr. Roper is singing "In a Shanty in Old Shanty Town." Chrissy is delighted and she claps.
Stanley: (to Jack) Do you know "I'm Walking Behind You on Your Wedding Day"?
Jack: Oh, I hope not.
Mr. Roper brings out his trumpet and plays reveille. Then he says, "Everybody dance!"
Jack exclaims, "Oh my goodness! It's 5 after 10 already! It's past my bedtime!" He says he has to go to sleep, but he doesn't want to drag the girls away.
Chrissy: Oh, no, we'll come to bed with you!
Stanley: What???
Chrissy: I mean at the same time.
The trio excuse themselves. Just outside the apartment, they say they can go to the Stevenses' party. Back inside, Mrs. Roper is upset about Stanley driving the kids away. He tells her that it wasn't her brother on the phone. They were invited to the Stevenses' party after all. Both Jack and Mr. Roper say, "Maybe now we'll meet some interesting people."
Tidying up: What happens when the Brit-Ropers come home is very different. It takes them awhile to notice the music of the party but they decide to ignore it. We find out that Mr. Roper rinsed his teeth in his brother-in-law's bidet.
The Ropers go into their apartment. Robin and Chrissy are tidying up. Robin admits to the party. Mrs. Roper wants to go. "They never had parties like that when we were alive."
Upstairs later, Maurice is doing Jo's hair. She says he'll make somebody a lovely brother.
Mr. Roper is boring Liz with war stories. Chrissy sends him out to move his car so someone else can get out. Liz says hello to Robin, but he pulls Chrissy aside and invites her to his bedroom again, to finish off the bottle of wine. She again says no. He says he's going to donate his body to medicine, "I'm not using it."
We get yet another exterior of the building. Mr. Roper hits the other cars while trying to move his. A policeman catches him.
Back up in the flat, Chrissy tells Robin that if anything had happened, it would've spoiled things. She kisses his cheek. Lisping, he says, "I wonder who's taking Maurice home."
Mrs. Roper is dancing with Mark, when Mr. Roper comes in with the copper. He has to give him "a sample." The trio and their gay friends laugh.
The tag of 3'sC is set just outside of the Ropers' apartment. Jack apologizes to Helen about not telling them about the Stevenses' party. Mrs. Roper is drunk and not at all upset. Mr. Roper is unconscious but standing. The trio help hold him up. Mrs. Roper says to "just put him under the tree, and I'll unwrap him in the morning."
Commentary: "The cat," Mr. Roper, isn't away for very long on 3'sC, and "the mice" definitely don't get as playful. Both trios plan to throw a party in the Ropers' absence, with the male roommates inviting sexy Liz Martin and the Chrissies inviting Mark the actor. But on 3'sC it doesn't work to throw an impromptu party, especially not on Christmas Day. So we get the Ropers returning early and throwing a boring party for the kids. (Boring to them, I find it entertaining, corny jokes and all). And everyone really wants to go to the Stevenses' party. (They keep saying "Stevens," but unless the last name is "Steven," I decided to just be grammatically correct.)
But on MatH, well, well. Quite a change from four months ago, on "And Then There Were Two." Now Chrissy wants to be plied with gin & tonic, and "pow" is looking more appealing. As for Robin, he may be just handing her lines, like he does with other girls, but when he's given the chance to get Liz back, he chooses the less sure thing of Chrissy. Robin & Chrissy's chemistry is great by this point, and the viewer can't help hoping something will happen between them. I doubt Jo would mind, although she'd certainly tease them about it.
I'm not sure what happens between the kiss and the tidying up. Maybe Chrissy breaks away, maybe they hear the Ropers out in the hallway. In a sense it's them (or at least her) backing off, but it's also of course the producers backing off. I'm guessing that, although British television censorship was less strict than American in the 1970s, having two of the platonic flatmates stop being platonic would not have been allowed.
It's still further than it would've gone on 3'sC. Jack can give his roommates mistletoe smooches, but (at least at this point) there's not going to be any serious consideration of, ahem, "a warm relationship." And speaking of sexuality, it's interesting that the gay friends get so much to do on MatH8, when they're not really necessary to the plot. Yes, like all the gay humour on MatH, they're incredibly stereotypical, but nonetheless they are invited to the party and they get to be in the shot of the amused trio. Nothing comparable happens on 3'sC, ever.
3'sC in its first two seasons is more mature and sophisticated than it would be later. (Faint praise I know.) But there's no question that MatH is the more adult program, and this pairing of episodes is a perfect, albeit extreme, example of why.
"While the Cat's Away" aired 9 January 1974. "Three's Christmas" aired almost four years later, on Dec. 20th, 1977, reaching #5 in the ratings.
Let's have a party!: After a surprisingly laugh-track-less theme song, MatH8 opens with the trio watching television. Robin predicts, "Any minute now, there'll be clothes torn off, red-hot passion, bodies writhing on the floor, you know, squeals of delight." Chrissy says, "In The Lone Ranger?" He says, no, they'll turn the telly off first.
Chrissy is interested in an actor named Mark, who they saw on the telly during a production of Hedda Gabler. He was demonstrating deodorant, for an advert.
The three of them are bored. Jo suggests having a party. Chrissy thinks the Ropers would disapprove.
Over in the States, Janet decorates the Christmas tree. Jack, wearing a mistletoe sweatband, comes out of his bedroom and gives her a big kiss. Then he smooches Chrissy. He smooches Janet again, so she "chops off his sprig" with her scissors. But he has a spare sprig.
They open presents. I mentioned earlier that Chrissy's full name is Christmas Snow, but I forgot that it's actually first revealed on this episode. She says, "My father was a big fan of Bing Crosby."
Janet says of her gift of perfume, " '1001 nights.' If it gets me just one, I'll be happy."
Both girls got Jack socks. They briefly quarrel about it. Jack got Janet a scarf and Chrissy a belt. They end up trading. He points at his mistletoe and they both kiss him.
This is Chrissy's first Christmas away from home. (I'm sure she's been living away from home at least a year by this point, based on evidence elsewhere, but maybe she went home for Christmas '76.) She talks about the parties her father used to throw, how they invited everyone, including the local rabbi, and it was lots of fun.
Janet: Gee, Chrissy, I thought your father was a real stern minister.
Chrissy: He is, except when he's having fun.
She misses having a party, like back home. Jack suggests having a party in the apartment. Janet says this is a great idea. He has her kiss him again. She says they don't have to worry about making noise. The Ropers went to Helen's brother's for the whole weekend.
While the cat's away: The Brit-Ropers are also going to visit her brother and his family. George doesn't want to go. His brother-in-law brags, including about his automatic garage door opener. Mildred says she doesn't know why her brother invites them, "after what you did in their fishtank." George blames the cheap Spanish wine. She says he didn't have to tip it in. The guppies were drunk for days.
Mr. Roper is worried about something go wrong with the building and/or budgie while they're gone. Mrs. Roper suggests leaving the key upstairs. We learn that Mr. Roper is very amused that his brother-in-law lost his licence for drinking and driving.
Upstairs, Robin suggests inviting the Ropers to their party. Chrissy says Mrs. Roper is all right but Mr. Roper is the kiss of death. And then Jo burns the oven glove.
Mrs. Roper drops by with the key to her flat. She says they'll be gone for the weekend, leaving Saturday morning and coming back on Monday. Chrissy says they'll make sure there are no wild parties while the Ropers are gone.
Hello, Gorgeous: Robin plans to invite "the most seductive, sensual, sexy bird you could wish to meet." Chrissy says, "Well, I'm coming anyway." He actually means Liz Martin, so it looks like I was wrong and we haven't seen the last of Liz.
Jack is going to invite "the most sensual, sexy, seductive woman you ever saw." Janet says, "Well, you can't invite one of us, we're already here." Jack is talking about the luscious Liz Martin.
Robin: Oh, hello, Gorgeous. It's me. I've just been overcome by lust and I have this crude proposition to-- Hello, hello, Mrs. Martin. Could I speak to Elizabeth please?
Jack: Hi, Gorgeous. It's me. Listen, I have just been overcome by lust and I have a crude proposition to-- Oh, hello, Mrs. Martin. Could I speak to your daughter? And a Very Merry Christmas to you.
The Brit-trio continue this scene at the pub, while the Amer-trio stay in their apartment. (Generally, MatH changes scenes more often than 3'sC, I don't know why.)
They've got 14 girls and 14 fellows on their invite list now. Jo invites the gay couple at the next table, Maurice and Henry. Chrissy says, "I don't know which column to put them in."
Jo wants more fellows than girls at the party because she wants them fighting over her. Meanwhile, Robin puts a lot on the slate, I guess running up a debt as he buys alcohol and crisps and such from Jim the Landlord.
Amer-Chrissy calls Mark. Janet tells Jack that this is Chrissy's latest, kind of an actor. Janet delivers the lines about Hedda Gabler and deodorant.
Brit-Mark shows up at the pub. His agent wants him to play a freeze-dried pea in the next advert.
Mark: (to Robin) I ask you, what does a pea sound like?
Robin: Pardon?
Amer-Mark can't make it to the party. He's busy shooting another commercial. (On Christmas Day?) Chrissy tells Janet that Mark will be the voice of a freeze-dried pea.
Chrissy: What's a pea sound like?
Jack: (reentering from the kitchen) Pardon?
Janet suggests making a list of who to invite. She wants more guys than girls, so the guys will fight over her. Jack just wants one girl who likes to say yes.
The Ropers come into the pub. Robin tells them he'll be in all weekend, doing a little studying, a little reading. Jim puts the crate of booze on the counter. With perfect delivery, Robin says, "I might have a little drink."
Before the party: Robin again wears the bra-and-panties apron. This time the audience really reacts, laughing for quite awhile. He objects to using Donald Duck plates for the party. Chrissy says they also have some Popeye plates. "Oh, that's all right!"
Downstairs, Mr. Roper says goodbye to the budgie.
Back upstairs, Robin asks if they're going to let people into the bedrooms at the party, you know what parties can develop into, with any luck. Chrissy says that's all he thinks of. Jo says to be fair, he thinks about football and cooking as well. Chrissy says, "Oh, yes, if he could get his girlfriend and a gas stove in the middle of Wembley Stadium, he'd be away."
Jo looks out the window and sees the Ropers drive away. Robin puts his arms around both girls and says now they're alone with him. Chrissy says they can do anything they like. "Oh, and what were you thinking of, My Tempestuous Beauty?" She was thinking of eating his cheese dip.
Full Swing: We get an exterior shot of the building and rock music plays as a couple gets out of their car. Then we cut to the flat, where the music is coming from. Chrissy, in a lowcut yellow dress, is dancing with Mark.
Jo, more modestly dressed, is mixing drinks, as badly as she cooks. Robin says what she needs is a little fruit. So Henry turns around.
Robin asks if Jo has seen Liz. Since Jo was at her nephew's christening when Robin had Liz over last time, she doesn't know what Liz looks like. Robin, holding two oranges, moves them closer to his chest.
Chrissy asks Mark if he likes her dress, if it gives her a sexy look, like Susan George. Mark just says yes. He does tell her he auditioned for a crowd scene in Straw Dogs (which starred Susan George), but he and Peckinpah didn't hit it off.
Robin asks Chrissy if she's seen Liz. She says no and tells him to get her a drink, but Mark goes to get the drink.
Robin asks what she sees in Mark. She says Mark has a lovely disposition.
Robin: I know, but he wastes it on himself.
Chrissy: He's got one thing you haven't got.
Robin: What?
Chrissy: Me.
Mark answers the door. It's Liz, with a very different hairstyle now, which is probably why I didn't recognize her when I watched this episode before. Her dress is even more revealing than Chrissy's. She recognises Mark. He gives her Chrissy's martini.
Chrissy: Who's that tarty-looking bird chatting up Mark?
Robin: That is Liz.
Chrissy: Yeah, I know, and look at them. Lust at first sight.
Robin says Liz is very attractive and every man at the party fancies her. Henry or Maurice laughs fruitily.
Robin: Well, almost.
Chrissy: I'm hardly surprised. I've seen higher necklines on a topless waitress.
Robin says he'll glide over there and smoothly separate them. Mark and Liz are now on the couch. She asks if he's ever met Michael Caine. Mark stood behind him in line for the canteen at Pinewood.
Liz: What's he like?
Mark: Hamburger and chips.
Robin invites her to dance. She doesn't want to.
Mark says that the most important thing in acting is sincerity. Robin says, "Yes, once you've learned to fake that, you're all right."
Mark invites Liz to dance. She says, "I'd love to."
Jo: (grinning) Don't worry, he's got big ears anyway.
Chrissy: Oh, shut up!
Chrissy asks Robin, who's now smoking, "What happened to your famous sex appeal?" He says, "It's alive and well and standing next to you." He invites her to dance.
Time passes and we see them slow-dancing. He tries to say something about him being a man, and her being a woman, but her sarcasm heads him off. He invites her into his bedroom, just to talk. She says, "It's more crowded in there than it is in here."
He offers to get her a drink. She says, "I'm not sure I could trust myself if I had another drink. Gin and tonic please."
Jo says they're out of ice and she makes Chrissy go downstairs to get some from the Ropers'. Robin offers to carry the ice bucket. He also takes a bottle and glasses.
Liz is cuddling with Mark, but when she sees Robin and Chrissy leave, she grumbles, "Oh, that's nice. He invites me to a party and then goes off with someone else."
Bedding down the budgie: Chrissy is suspicious when Robin puts the cover over the birdcage.
Robin: I'm just bedding down the budgie.
Chrissy: Well, that's all you're bedding down tonight.
Robin says it's quieter down there at the Ropers'. He suggests they have a drink before they go. She says just one, or the ice will start to melt.
Robin: (putting his arm around her) You know, Chrissy, sometimes, sometimes, you know, a man wants more. He wants, he wants something fine and warm, you know. And one day he wakes up and realises it's under his nose.
Chrissy: You're thinking of growing a moustache.
Robin: I'm very serious, Chrissy. I mean, we all want the relationship, the warm relationship--
Chrissy: Look, why don't you come right out with it and say what you're after?
Robin: I just don't know the words.
Chrissy: Yes, you do. I've heard you using them. Anyway, look, remember what we agreed when you moved in.
Robin: Seven pounds fifty a week.
Chrissy: Not that, the other.
Robin: Well, what about it?
Chrissy: There wasn't going to be any. Look, I'm flesh and blood as well.
Robin: I've only got your word for it, Chrissy.
Chrissy: Well, all I'm saying is, if you were a gentleman, you wouldn't take advantage of the way I'm feeling now.
He pulls her closer for a kiss.
Return of the Ropers: We get another exterior shot of the building. We can see silhouettes of the party upstairs. Mr. Roper drives up and parks the car. Apparently he kept talking about his brother-in-law being a drunken driver. Mildred says, "They'll never ask us again." George says that then the evening wasn't a complete waste.
Back in the States, the Ropers return to their apartment. She was never so ashamed in all her life. He kept talking about her brother being arrested for drunk driving. They have the "complete waste" exchange here. And then we get the bit about the garage door opener. And finally the "fishtank" conversation, although the cheap wine isn't Spanish, and Mr. Roper gets a line about the old expression "drinking like a fish."
Jimmy & Betty: Upstairs, Janet is on the phone. All their friends are going to Jimmy and Betty Stevens's party in the neighboring building.
The doorbell rings, Mrs. Roper. They all wish Merry Christmas.
The trio are surprised to see her. She says, "I don't think that Stanley and my brother get along very well." She says they keep hitting each other.
She invites the three of them to a Christmas party. Chrissy is enthusiastic. Jack and Janet are more reluctant. Mrs. Roper promises a cake and Spin the Bottle.
After she leaves, the phone rings. It's Jimmy Stevens asking why they're not at the party. They never got the invitation. Jack happily accepts. He and Janet hug and then sing and dance, but Chrissy insists on going to the Ropers'.
Jack says whale-gutting in the Arctic would be more fun. Janet admits it would be a lousy trick to play on the Ropers if they didn't turn up. Then they realize that Mr. Roper is usually asleep by 9:30 and they can go to the Stevenses' party.
The girls guilt-trip Jack about which pair of socks he's going to wear.
Festive: Helen tells Stanley to look more festive. He asks if he should stick holly up his nose. He doesn't want to party with the kids. The trio come by and we hear that Jack's been talking about nothing but the party all day.
The Ropers have a pink plastic Christmas tree. It's pine-scented, so it also works as an air freshener. Helen's brother Billy gave them the Christmas wreath, wrapped around Stanley's neck.
Mr. Roper serves them a tiny bit of Scotch. He notices that Jack's socks don't match. Janet says, "He has another pair just like it upstairs."
Helen: What shall we play?
Stanley: I don't like games.
Helen: Tell me about it.
It turns out that Mrs. Roper plays a lot of solitaire in bed. Mr. Roper gets the cards from the bedroom and does a pathetic card trick. Mrs. Roper says Jack looks pensive. He says he's thinking of whale-gutting in the Arctic.
The phone rings and Mr. Roper answers it.
Chrissy: Come on, Jack, get your fingers moving!
Jack: Hm?
She wants him to play the piano, so he does. I don't recognize the tune.
Mr. Roper comes over and says that Helen's brother found her earrings in the punch bowl.
Stanley: Has he been playing long?
Chrissy: No, he just started now.
Mr. Roper says, "I can sing you know," which sounds like a threat. He sits next to Jack on the piano bench and sings, "Oh, give me some men who are stout-hearted men...." Jack grins at him and bats his eyelashes. Mr. Roper quickly gets up and switches to "Roll out the Barrel." Chrissy happily sings along. Janet and Mrs. Roper look bored. Jack crosses his eyes at the end.
There's a time lapse and Mr. Roper is singing "In a Shanty in Old Shanty Town." Chrissy is delighted and she claps.
Stanley: (to Jack) Do you know "I'm Walking Behind You on Your Wedding Day"?
Jack: Oh, I hope not.
Mr. Roper brings out his trumpet and plays reveille. Then he says, "Everybody dance!"
Jack exclaims, "Oh my goodness! It's 5 after 10 already! It's past my bedtime!" He says he has to go to sleep, but he doesn't want to drag the girls away.
Chrissy: Oh, no, we'll come to bed with you!
Stanley: What???
Chrissy: I mean at the same time.
The trio excuse themselves. Just outside the apartment, they say they can go to the Stevenses' party. Back inside, Mrs. Roper is upset about Stanley driving the kids away. He tells her that it wasn't her brother on the phone. They were invited to the Stevenses' party after all. Both Jack and Mr. Roper say, "Maybe now we'll meet some interesting people."
Tidying up: What happens when the Brit-Ropers come home is very different. It takes them awhile to notice the music of the party but they decide to ignore it. We find out that Mr. Roper rinsed his teeth in his brother-in-law's bidet.
The Ropers go into their apartment. Robin and Chrissy are tidying up. Robin admits to the party. Mrs. Roper wants to go. "They never had parties like that when we were alive."
Upstairs later, Maurice is doing Jo's hair. She says he'll make somebody a lovely brother.
Mr. Roper is boring Liz with war stories. Chrissy sends him out to move his car so someone else can get out. Liz says hello to Robin, but he pulls Chrissy aside and invites her to his bedroom again, to finish off the bottle of wine. She again says no. He says he's going to donate his body to medicine, "I'm not using it."
We get yet another exterior of the building. Mr. Roper hits the other cars while trying to move his. A policeman catches him.
Back up in the flat, Chrissy tells Robin that if anything had happened, it would've spoiled things. She kisses his cheek. Lisping, he says, "I wonder who's taking Maurice home."
Mrs. Roper is dancing with Mark, when Mr. Roper comes in with the copper. He has to give him "a sample." The trio and their gay friends laugh.
The tag of 3'sC is set just outside of the Ropers' apartment. Jack apologizes to Helen about not telling them about the Stevenses' party. Mrs. Roper is drunk and not at all upset. Mr. Roper is unconscious but standing. The trio help hold him up. Mrs. Roper says to "just put him under the tree, and I'll unwrap him in the morning."
Commentary: "The cat," Mr. Roper, isn't away for very long on 3'sC, and "the mice" definitely don't get as playful. Both trios plan to throw a party in the Ropers' absence, with the male roommates inviting sexy Liz Martin and the Chrissies inviting Mark the actor. But on 3'sC it doesn't work to throw an impromptu party, especially not on Christmas Day. So we get the Ropers returning early and throwing a boring party for the kids. (Boring to them, I find it entertaining, corny jokes and all). And everyone really wants to go to the Stevenses' party. (They keep saying "Stevens," but unless the last name is "Steven," I decided to just be grammatically correct.)
But on MatH, well, well. Quite a change from four months ago, on "And Then There Were Two." Now Chrissy wants to be plied with gin & tonic, and "pow" is looking more appealing. As for Robin, he may be just handing her lines, like he does with other girls, but when he's given the chance to get Liz back, he chooses the less sure thing of Chrissy. Robin & Chrissy's chemistry is great by this point, and the viewer can't help hoping something will happen between them. I doubt Jo would mind, although she'd certainly tease them about it.
I'm not sure what happens between the kiss and the tidying up. Maybe Chrissy breaks away, maybe they hear the Ropers out in the hallway. In a sense it's them (or at least her) backing off, but it's also of course the producers backing off. I'm guessing that, although British television censorship was less strict than American in the 1970s, having two of the platonic flatmates stop being platonic would not have been allowed.
It's still further than it would've gone on 3'sC. Jack can give his roommates mistletoe smooches, but (at least at this point) there's not going to be any serious consideration of, ahem, "a warm relationship." And speaking of sexuality, it's interesting that the gay friends get so much to do on MatH8, when they're not really necessary to the plot. Yes, like all the gay humour on MatH, they're incredibly stereotypical, but nonetheless they are invited to the party and they get to be in the shot of the amused trio. Nothing comparable happens on 3'sC, ever.
3'sC in its first two seasons is more mature and sophisticated than it would be later. (Faint praise I know.) But there's no question that MatH is the more adult program, and this pairing of episodes is a perfect, albeit extreme, example of why.
Monday, March 21, 2011
"No Children, No Dogs"
The last episode of the first British series of MatH became the fourth episode of 3'sC. MatH7 aired on 26 September 1973. 3'sC4 aired April 7, 1977 and was the first episode of the show to reach #5 in the ratings. The previous episode, "Roper's Niece," placed #6.
A few words about that episode. It's set on Janet's birthday, meaning she was born in late March. We learn that Chrissy was born in January. (A few seasons later, we find out that her full name is Christmas Snow, but maybe she arrived late.) There's a big birthday kiss from Jack to Janet. At one point, Janet asks, "Chrissy, do you dig him?" and the two girls discuss their attraction to Jack, if he weren't their roommate of course. Roper's old and unreliable car figures into the plot. And on the subject of whether or not Jack tries anything with Roper's niece, Helen says Stanley didn't try anything till they were married about two years. The story wouldn't have worked for MatH because George no longer thinks Robin is gay.
Swinging Scrubbers: On MatH, Chrissy is vacuuming as Robin reads the newspaper. She says they've got to clean the flat twice a year, whether it needs it or not. Robin offers to help, but Chrissy says it'd take longer. Then she says he should clear through the records, since some aren't theirs. He jokes that he'll put on the Frank Sinatra album Songs for Swinging Scrubbers.
Over in America, Mrs. Roper calls to Janet through the open door. She's finished the spicy book Janet loaned her. She wants to sit and chat. She says her twentieth wedding anniversary is the day after tomorrow. Janet asks if they'll see a show. "Yes, Baretta, followed by Charlie's Angels." (Like 3'sC, these were both ABC shows.) Mrs. Roper doesn't think her husband will remember their anniversary.
She envies Janet her life as a young single. Janet says her boyfriends are after only one thing. Now Mrs. Roper really envies her.
When Mr. Roper comes in, Janet hints to him about the anniversary. After awhile, he realizes what happens on Wednesday-- Baretta and Charlie's Angels.
Mr. Roper was looking out the window at 3 a.m. and saw Chrissy walking around in her nightgown. Janet says Chrissy must be sleepwalking again. After Janet leaves, Mrs. Roper demands to know why Mr. Roper was looking out the window at that hour. He says he was checking the weather.
The Explorer: We get our first glimpse of Larry's flat in this episode, when Robin goes over to return some records. Larry's dog has had three puppies and he tries to give one to Robin. We learn that Robin's birthday is in February.
Jim the landlord at the Mucky Duck (sorry I called him a bartender before, I didn't know) is looking for a dog. Larry gives Robin a female puppy to give to Jim. Larry owes Jim two quid on the slate, so he can't go to the pub right now.
Larry is wearing a Grease shirt, presumably having had an easier time getting tickets than the American trio did.
When Janet tells Chrissy about the sleepwalking, Chrissy is embarrassed because she was in her nightie. She sleepwalks when she's stressed. Right now, she's subbing as secretary for Mr. Rogers, no, not that Mr. Rogers. This is the one that the girls in the office call Christopher Columbus, "the explorer." Janet says Chrissy should complain to his boss. But he is the boss! (Again, this is well before sexual harassment was taken seriously.)
Jack comes home. Chrissy talks about how the sleepwalking started when she was a kid. It wasn't easy being the minister's daughter, all that pressure.
No Dogs, No Children: Brit-Chrissy doesn't like dogs, not since she was bitten by a kennel owner.
Chrissy: She can't stay. Mrs. Roper won't let us have a dog.
Jo: She's a bitch.
Chrissy: Yeah, maybe, but she still won't let us have a dog.
Obviously, this outrageous bit of dialogue didn't make it across the ocean. First of all, in America we don't use "dog" to mean "male dog." And secondly, you would never have gotten a pun on "bitch" on TV in the late '70s.
Chrissy: It's in the lease, no dogs, no children.
Jo: They've got a budgie.
Chrissy: Yeah, but it hardly ever barks, does it?
Back in California, Jack brings in a box and takes a puppy out. It looks like a similar breed to the British dogs, although I don't know much about dogs, so feel free to correct me. His friend Larry gave him the puppy. Chrissy says, "Honest Larry, the used car salesman?" (We don't yet know what Brit-Larry does for a living, although he apparently can afford a flat on his own.)
Jack owes Larry $25, so he took the puppy and Larry had to cancel the debt. Unlike Brit-Chrissy, Janet seems to like the dog, but she's got reservations.
Janet: You know Roper's rules. No dogs or babies allowed.
Jack: Yeah, well, we're keeping half of the bargain. So far. (He leers at Chrissy.)
Janet says they'll be evicted if Mr. Roper finds out.
Small but vital: At the Mucky Duck, we find out that someone already brought Jim one of Larry's puppies. While Robin and Jo are there, Larry comes by. Chrissy wants a favour. He gets his hopes up when she says she has to first get out of her jeans. But she wants him to help her pin up the dress she's sewing. She says, "You thought your ship had come in, didn't you?"
Amer-Larry also drops by. Although he'll later dress in swingin' singles' wear, in this his first episode, he's more like a used car salesman, with a plaid jacket. He brought the puppy's rubber bone.
Janet: Larry, we're not allowed to have any pets.
Larry: (indicating Jack) You've got him, haven't you?
Chrissy: He's housebroken.
Robin and Jo return. It turns out that Jim wanted a dog, and as Larry says of this puppy, "That's a bitch, isn't it?"
Jo: What's the difference?
Robin: Small but vital.
Robin/Jack gives the puppy back to Larry. As Larry leaves, he says he'll have to have the dog put down/ put to sleep. Jo/Amer-Chrissy is very sad. Robin/Jack says Larry won't do it. After awhile, Brit-Chrissy says, "Oh, for goodness sake, go and get her!", while Janet says, "Oh, for heaven's sake, go get the dog!" Robin/Jack sets off to catch Larry before it's too late. Larry is right outside the door with the puppy.
Foreign muck: Later on, Brit-Chrissy says, "What about the Chinese fellow in the takeaway? He was looking for a dog." Robin says, "Yes, but what for?" (In the previous episode, the Chinese takeaway was supposed to have gone out of business.)
The Ropers would go spare if they found out the trio are keeping a dog. So of course Mrs. Roper comes by to borrow milk. Robin has Jo hide the dog in the loo. Mrs. Roper notices Robin's bandaged finger, from a dog bite. Robin says Chrissy bit his finger.
Chrissy: He shouldn't have put it in my mouth.
Mildred: I see, fun and games.
She sees the dog food. Robin says it's boeuf bourguignon. Chrissy says it's leftovers. Robin is going to throw it away. Mrs. Roper says she can give it to Mr. Roper and she takes it.
Later, Robin worries about what will happen if Mr. Roper eats it. Chrissy says it's only horsemeat. Jo says they eat it all the time in France. Robin says not with bone meal and marrow bone jelly. Chrissy says maybe it'll give Mr. Roper a nice, rich, glossy coat. And the next time they see him, they'll throw a stick and see if he fetches.
The Ropers are in their kitchen, I think the first time we see that set. We learn that George still isn't paying the telly licence. If they ever get caught, he'll just say they thought it was included in the water rates. Mildred points out that they don't pay those either.
He's dubious about the meal because it's French. She's having steak and kidney pie. He trades with her because he doesn't want "foreign muck out of the packet."
Robin shows up, takes Mr. Roper's dish, throws the food in the bin, and quickly leaves. So Mr. Roper eats the "beef."
A Nightcap: The British puppy, in a box on the couch, whimpers. The trio check on her. Chrissy suggests Robin take the puppy to bed. He worries about fleas. Chrissy says the dog won't mind.
The girls make Robin take the puppy for a walk, so we get an outdoor shot. He smokes in the rain. Jim is out walking his dog, and he's been bitten on the finger, too. He asks if Robin fancies a nightcap. Robin worries about the police because it's so late, but there are three coppers in the pub already, playing cards. Robin puts his foot in his mouth repeatedly while talking to them.
History in the Making: Meanwhile in Los Angeles, Amer-Chrissy sleepwalks out the front door. Janet wakes up Jack and they go after her, Jack tripping over an offscreen garbage can. Janet escorts Chrissy back in. Jack says he'll leave his bedroom door open in case Chrissy sleepwalks again. Janet glares at him.
Jack goes to the kitchen to put iodine on his leg. (Why do they keep it in the kitchen rather than the bathroom?) He bumps his sore leg on a table while walking in the dark, and then again when he hears the puppy whimpering and turns around. He goes to get the puppy out of the bathroom. He tells her, "If Roper catches you, he'll sell you to the burger joint on the corner."
Chrissy comes out of her room and joins Jack in the kitchen. The dog might be hungry, so they decide to feed her.
Janet also comes out of the bedroom and calls to Chrissy, thinking that Chrissy might be sleepwalking. And now it's time to talk about the Walls of Farce. For only $300, in 1977 you could apparently have an apartment in L.A. with walls so thick you could only hear people if the door was open or you put your ear to the closed door. So Chrissy can't hear Janet calling to her, and Janet has to stand right next to the kitchen door to overhear what turns out to be the first of umpteen overheard and misunderstood conversations that this sitcom specializes in. I'll quote it in full, purely for historical reasons. You'll have to imagine Janet's looks of shock and horror interspersed among the double entendres.
Chrissy: Oh, that's cute!
Jack: Yeah, there's nothing a girl likes more than a little tickle on the tummy.
Chrissy: Not like that! Like this.
Jack: Yeah, is that better?
Chrissy: That is much better.
Jack: You are so beautiful! (He makes kissing noises.)
Chrissy: Do we need a blanket?
Jack: No, it's warm enough in here.
Chrissy: I love your eyes!
Jack: (with the dog food) Here you go. This is gonna make you feel so gooooood!
Chrissy: Oh, I could kiss every inch of you! (meaning the dog dish) No, Jack! Not on the table!
Jack: Oh, on the floor is better?
Having heard enough, Janet finally interrupts by yanking the door open and saying, "All right, you guys, knock it off!" Then she sees what's really going on.
The doorbell rings. It's Mr. Roper. He suspects they've got a dog, since he heard whimpering. (The floor isn't as thick as the walls.) Jack says he stubbed his toe and he demonstrates his whimpering. Mr. Roper calls him a very strange person. He also says that if they did have a dog, they'd be out on the street. (Yes, he threatens eviction a lot.) After Mr. Roper leaves, Janet says, "We gotta get rid of that dog."
The next morning: Robin says he played a game with the police, "Burst the breathalyzer." He's hung over.
Meanwhile, in Santa Monica, Jack has already made twenty calls to friends, trying to find someone to take the dog. The doorbell rings. It's Mrs. Roper, wanting to borrow milk. Jack and Chrissy quickly hide the dog in the kitchen. We get the "boeuf bourguignon" sequence here, pretty much identical to the British version, except the Ropers eat in their living room. Janet gets Brit-Chrissy's lines while Amer-Chrissy gets Jo's. Also, Mr. Roper doesn't say anything about "foreign muck," but he does say, "I'm not in the mood to experiment." His wife of course replies, "You never are." She's eating leftover stew, rather than steak & kidney. And he gets a line about being so hungry he could eat a horse.
Then the dog goes missing on both shows. Janet thought Jack took the puppy to bed with him. We get the "fleas" exchange here.
As Robin and Chrissy start looking, Mrs. Roper finds the puppy on her doorstep. It wandered out of the upstairs flat when Jo left the door open. But on 3'sC, Amer-Chrissy deliberately leaves the puppy on the doorstep, on top of the Ropers' morning paper. Jack deadpans, "I bet that put a damper on their news."
Chrissy: Anybody who loves parakeets must love dogs.
Jack: (impatiently) What about Mr. Roper?
Chrissy: I guess she loves him, too. Otherwise, she wouldn't stay with him.
Mildred wants to keep the dog, but her husband says no dogs allowed. "That's only for the tenants, George." He says it's another licence to buy. She replies, "We'll say we thought it was included in the water rates."
As Amer-Chrissy is going to dash off to work, Helen shows up with the puppy.
Helen: Some blonde left him on my doorstep.
Chrissy: Oh, you saw me. I mean her.
She says she was sleepwalking again, but Mrs. Roper saw her in her robe and slippers.
Mr. Roper comes up. He says he doesn't allow dogs in the builiding. Mrs. Roper says she knows the dog is an anniversary present. She winks at Chrissy, who plays along in relief.
After Mrs. Roper leaves, Mr. Roper says Jack's dish was delicious. He wants Jack to give the recipe to Mrs. Roper. "The stuff she feeds me ain't fit for a dog." In contrast, George was awake half the night with indigestion.
Jo misses the dog. Then Jim comes by with a puppy. He says Robin took the wrong dog, and he wants his back.
Commentary: Unlike, say, "And Then There Were Two," this episode doesn't take a drastically different route after Americanization, but there are certainly some striking differences. One is obviously that Larry plays a more important role on MatH, getting more scenes and more dialogue. Apparently, Amer-Larry was supposed to be a one-shot but John Ritter liked working with Richard Kline and wanted him back, while this is of course Brit-Larry already as a recurring character.
Instead of more of Amer-Larry's character development, we get more of Amer-Chrissy's backstory. I like that her being a minister's daughter is a consistent thread early on. We also get the whole bit about the Ropers' anniversary, and it is a neat way to tie up the plot. MatH in contrast deliberately leaves its plot unresolved, after making us think everything's OK now, which is cool in a diffferent way.
It's interesting that the remarks on the dining habits of the Chinese and French are toned down or omitted on 3'sC. We also don't get the bit about the kinky finger-biting. We do have that long innuendo session that Janet overhears. On Friends, Chandler Bing famously remarks, "Oh, I think this is the episode of Three's Company where there's some kind of misunderstanding." I get the impression that that didn't really happen on MatH, or only momentarily, as with Brit-Larry thinking his ship has come in.
I suppose I should have some sort of summing up of the first series of MatH, but seven episodes doesn't seem like long enough to judge. As when I watched the first season of 3'sC 34 years ago, I like it and want to see more, but there's not much change or development as yet.
A few words about that episode. It's set on Janet's birthday, meaning she was born in late March. We learn that Chrissy was born in January. (A few seasons later, we find out that her full name is Christmas Snow, but maybe she arrived late.) There's a big birthday kiss from Jack to Janet. At one point, Janet asks, "Chrissy, do you dig him?" and the two girls discuss their attraction to Jack, if he weren't their roommate of course. Roper's old and unreliable car figures into the plot. And on the subject of whether or not Jack tries anything with Roper's niece, Helen says Stanley didn't try anything till they were married about two years. The story wouldn't have worked for MatH because George no longer thinks Robin is gay.
Swinging Scrubbers: On MatH, Chrissy is vacuuming as Robin reads the newspaper. She says they've got to clean the flat twice a year, whether it needs it or not. Robin offers to help, but Chrissy says it'd take longer. Then she says he should clear through the records, since some aren't theirs. He jokes that he'll put on the Frank Sinatra album Songs for Swinging Scrubbers.
Over in America, Mrs. Roper calls to Janet through the open door. She's finished the spicy book Janet loaned her. She wants to sit and chat. She says her twentieth wedding anniversary is the day after tomorrow. Janet asks if they'll see a show. "Yes, Baretta, followed by Charlie's Angels." (Like 3'sC, these were both ABC shows.) Mrs. Roper doesn't think her husband will remember their anniversary.
She envies Janet her life as a young single. Janet says her boyfriends are after only one thing. Now Mrs. Roper really envies her.
When Mr. Roper comes in, Janet hints to him about the anniversary. After awhile, he realizes what happens on Wednesday-- Baretta and Charlie's Angels.
Mr. Roper was looking out the window at 3 a.m. and saw Chrissy walking around in her nightgown. Janet says Chrissy must be sleepwalking again. After Janet leaves, Mrs. Roper demands to know why Mr. Roper was looking out the window at that hour. He says he was checking the weather.
The Explorer: We get our first glimpse of Larry's flat in this episode, when Robin goes over to return some records. Larry's dog has had three puppies and he tries to give one to Robin. We learn that Robin's birthday is in February.
Jim the landlord at the Mucky Duck (sorry I called him a bartender before, I didn't know) is looking for a dog. Larry gives Robin a female puppy to give to Jim. Larry owes Jim two quid on the slate, so he can't go to the pub right now.
Larry is wearing a Grease shirt, presumably having had an easier time getting tickets than the American trio did.
When Janet tells Chrissy about the sleepwalking, Chrissy is embarrassed because she was in her nightie. She sleepwalks when she's stressed. Right now, she's subbing as secretary for Mr. Rogers, no, not that Mr. Rogers. This is the one that the girls in the office call Christopher Columbus, "the explorer." Janet says Chrissy should complain to his boss. But he is the boss! (Again, this is well before sexual harassment was taken seriously.)
Jack comes home. Chrissy talks about how the sleepwalking started when she was a kid. It wasn't easy being the minister's daughter, all that pressure.
No Dogs, No Children: Brit-Chrissy doesn't like dogs, not since she was bitten by a kennel owner.
Chrissy: She can't stay. Mrs. Roper won't let us have a dog.
Jo: She's a bitch.
Chrissy: Yeah, maybe, but she still won't let us have a dog.
Obviously, this outrageous bit of dialogue didn't make it across the ocean. First of all, in America we don't use "dog" to mean "male dog." And secondly, you would never have gotten a pun on "bitch" on TV in the late '70s.
Chrissy: It's in the lease, no dogs, no children.
Jo: They've got a budgie.
Chrissy: Yeah, but it hardly ever barks, does it?
Back in California, Jack brings in a box and takes a puppy out. It looks like a similar breed to the British dogs, although I don't know much about dogs, so feel free to correct me. His friend Larry gave him the puppy. Chrissy says, "Honest Larry, the used car salesman?" (We don't yet know what Brit-Larry does for a living, although he apparently can afford a flat on his own.)
Jack owes Larry $25, so he took the puppy and Larry had to cancel the debt. Unlike Brit-Chrissy, Janet seems to like the dog, but she's got reservations.
Janet: You know Roper's rules. No dogs or babies allowed.
Jack: Yeah, well, we're keeping half of the bargain. So far. (He leers at Chrissy.)
Janet says they'll be evicted if Mr. Roper finds out.
Small but vital: At the Mucky Duck, we find out that someone already brought Jim one of Larry's puppies. While Robin and Jo are there, Larry comes by. Chrissy wants a favour. He gets his hopes up when she says she has to first get out of her jeans. But she wants him to help her pin up the dress she's sewing. She says, "You thought your ship had come in, didn't you?"
Amer-Larry also drops by. Although he'll later dress in swingin' singles' wear, in this his first episode, he's more like a used car salesman, with a plaid jacket. He brought the puppy's rubber bone.
Janet: Larry, we're not allowed to have any pets.
Larry: (indicating Jack) You've got him, haven't you?
Chrissy: He's housebroken.
Robin and Jo return. It turns out that Jim wanted a dog, and as Larry says of this puppy, "That's a bitch, isn't it?"
Jo: What's the difference?
Robin: Small but vital.
Robin/Jack gives the puppy back to Larry. As Larry leaves, he says he'll have to have the dog put down/ put to sleep. Jo/Amer-Chrissy is very sad. Robin/Jack says Larry won't do it. After awhile, Brit-Chrissy says, "Oh, for goodness sake, go and get her!", while Janet says, "Oh, for heaven's sake, go get the dog!" Robin/Jack sets off to catch Larry before it's too late. Larry is right outside the door with the puppy.
Foreign muck: Later on, Brit-Chrissy says, "What about the Chinese fellow in the takeaway? He was looking for a dog." Robin says, "Yes, but what for?" (In the previous episode, the Chinese takeaway was supposed to have gone out of business.)
The Ropers would go spare if they found out the trio are keeping a dog. So of course Mrs. Roper comes by to borrow milk. Robin has Jo hide the dog in the loo. Mrs. Roper notices Robin's bandaged finger, from a dog bite. Robin says Chrissy bit his finger.
Chrissy: He shouldn't have put it in my mouth.
Mildred: I see, fun and games.
She sees the dog food. Robin says it's boeuf bourguignon. Chrissy says it's leftovers. Robin is going to throw it away. Mrs. Roper says she can give it to Mr. Roper and she takes it.
Later, Robin worries about what will happen if Mr. Roper eats it. Chrissy says it's only horsemeat. Jo says they eat it all the time in France. Robin says not with bone meal and marrow bone jelly. Chrissy says maybe it'll give Mr. Roper a nice, rich, glossy coat. And the next time they see him, they'll throw a stick and see if he fetches.
The Ropers are in their kitchen, I think the first time we see that set. We learn that George still isn't paying the telly licence. If they ever get caught, he'll just say they thought it was included in the water rates. Mildred points out that they don't pay those either.
He's dubious about the meal because it's French. She's having steak and kidney pie. He trades with her because he doesn't want "foreign muck out of the packet."
Robin shows up, takes Mr. Roper's dish, throws the food in the bin, and quickly leaves. So Mr. Roper eats the "beef."
A Nightcap: The British puppy, in a box on the couch, whimpers. The trio check on her. Chrissy suggests Robin take the puppy to bed. He worries about fleas. Chrissy says the dog won't mind.
The girls make Robin take the puppy for a walk, so we get an outdoor shot. He smokes in the rain. Jim is out walking his dog, and he's been bitten on the finger, too. He asks if Robin fancies a nightcap. Robin worries about the police because it's so late, but there are three coppers in the pub already, playing cards. Robin puts his foot in his mouth repeatedly while talking to them.
History in the Making: Meanwhile in Los Angeles, Amer-Chrissy sleepwalks out the front door. Janet wakes up Jack and they go after her, Jack tripping over an offscreen garbage can. Janet escorts Chrissy back in. Jack says he'll leave his bedroom door open in case Chrissy sleepwalks again. Janet glares at him.
Jack goes to the kitchen to put iodine on his leg. (Why do they keep it in the kitchen rather than the bathroom?) He bumps his sore leg on a table while walking in the dark, and then again when he hears the puppy whimpering and turns around. He goes to get the puppy out of the bathroom. He tells her, "If Roper catches you, he'll sell you to the burger joint on the corner."
Chrissy comes out of her room and joins Jack in the kitchen. The dog might be hungry, so they decide to feed her.
Janet also comes out of the bedroom and calls to Chrissy, thinking that Chrissy might be sleepwalking. And now it's time to talk about the Walls of Farce. For only $300, in 1977 you could apparently have an apartment in L.A. with walls so thick you could only hear people if the door was open or you put your ear to the closed door. So Chrissy can't hear Janet calling to her, and Janet has to stand right next to the kitchen door to overhear what turns out to be the first of umpteen overheard and misunderstood conversations that this sitcom specializes in. I'll quote it in full, purely for historical reasons. You'll have to imagine Janet's looks of shock and horror interspersed among the double entendres.
Chrissy: Oh, that's cute!
Jack: Yeah, there's nothing a girl likes more than a little tickle on the tummy.
Chrissy: Not like that! Like this.
Jack: Yeah, is that better?
Chrissy: That is much better.
Jack: You are so beautiful! (He makes kissing noises.)
Chrissy: Do we need a blanket?
Jack: No, it's warm enough in here.
Chrissy: I love your eyes!
Jack: (with the dog food) Here you go. This is gonna make you feel so gooooood!
Chrissy: Oh, I could kiss every inch of you! (meaning the dog dish) No, Jack! Not on the table!
Jack: Oh, on the floor is better?
Having heard enough, Janet finally interrupts by yanking the door open and saying, "All right, you guys, knock it off!" Then she sees what's really going on.
The doorbell rings. It's Mr. Roper. He suspects they've got a dog, since he heard whimpering. (The floor isn't as thick as the walls.) Jack says he stubbed his toe and he demonstrates his whimpering. Mr. Roper calls him a very strange person. He also says that if they did have a dog, they'd be out on the street. (Yes, he threatens eviction a lot.) After Mr. Roper leaves, Janet says, "We gotta get rid of that dog."
The next morning: Robin says he played a game with the police, "Burst the breathalyzer." He's hung over.
Meanwhile, in Santa Monica, Jack has already made twenty calls to friends, trying to find someone to take the dog. The doorbell rings. It's Mrs. Roper, wanting to borrow milk. Jack and Chrissy quickly hide the dog in the kitchen. We get the "boeuf bourguignon" sequence here, pretty much identical to the British version, except the Ropers eat in their living room. Janet gets Brit-Chrissy's lines while Amer-Chrissy gets Jo's. Also, Mr. Roper doesn't say anything about "foreign muck," but he does say, "I'm not in the mood to experiment." His wife of course replies, "You never are." She's eating leftover stew, rather than steak & kidney. And he gets a line about being so hungry he could eat a horse.
Then the dog goes missing on both shows. Janet thought Jack took the puppy to bed with him. We get the "fleas" exchange here.
As Robin and Chrissy start looking, Mrs. Roper finds the puppy on her doorstep. It wandered out of the upstairs flat when Jo left the door open. But on 3'sC, Amer-Chrissy deliberately leaves the puppy on the doorstep, on top of the Ropers' morning paper. Jack deadpans, "I bet that put a damper on their news."
Chrissy: Anybody who loves parakeets must love dogs.
Jack: (impatiently) What about Mr. Roper?
Chrissy: I guess she loves him, too. Otherwise, she wouldn't stay with him.
Mildred wants to keep the dog, but her husband says no dogs allowed. "That's only for the tenants, George." He says it's another licence to buy. She replies, "We'll say we thought it was included in the water rates."
As Amer-Chrissy is going to dash off to work, Helen shows up with the puppy.
Helen: Some blonde left him on my doorstep.
Chrissy: Oh, you saw me. I mean her.
She says she was sleepwalking again, but Mrs. Roper saw her in her robe and slippers.
Mr. Roper comes up. He says he doesn't allow dogs in the builiding. Mrs. Roper says she knows the dog is an anniversary present. She winks at Chrissy, who plays along in relief.
After Mrs. Roper leaves, Mr. Roper says Jack's dish was delicious. He wants Jack to give the recipe to Mrs. Roper. "The stuff she feeds me ain't fit for a dog." In contrast, George was awake half the night with indigestion.
Jo misses the dog. Then Jim comes by with a puppy. He says Robin took the wrong dog, and he wants his back.
Commentary: Unlike, say, "And Then There Were Two," this episode doesn't take a drastically different route after Americanization, but there are certainly some striking differences. One is obviously that Larry plays a more important role on MatH, getting more scenes and more dialogue. Apparently, Amer-Larry was supposed to be a one-shot but John Ritter liked working with Richard Kline and wanted him back, while this is of course Brit-Larry already as a recurring character.
Instead of more of Amer-Larry's character development, we get more of Amer-Chrissy's backstory. I like that her being a minister's daughter is a consistent thread early on. We also get the whole bit about the Ropers' anniversary, and it is a neat way to tie up the plot. MatH in contrast deliberately leaves its plot unresolved, after making us think everything's OK now, which is cool in a diffferent way.
It's interesting that the remarks on the dining habits of the Chinese and French are toned down or omitted on 3'sC. We also don't get the bit about the kinky finger-biting. We do have that long innuendo session that Janet overhears. On Friends, Chandler Bing famously remarks, "Oh, I think this is the episode of Three's Company where there's some kind of misunderstanding." I get the impression that that didn't really happen on MatH, or only momentarily, as with Brit-Larry thinking his ship has come in.
I suppose I should have some sort of summing up of the first series of MatH, but seven episodes doesn't seem like long enough to judge. As when I watched the first season of 3'sC 34 years ago, I like it and want to see more, but there's not much change or development as yet.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
"Match of the Day"
The only first-series plot of MatH that didn't get Americanized is episode 6, "Match of the Day." It aired on 19 September 1973.
Remedy: Robin is going to be playing on the football team for his technical college, South Kent Tech. They're seventh in a league of eight, but he just barely made it as a replacement player, edging out a pregnant woman. This episode has loads of references to various professional football players, none of whom I've heard of. (I could at least name off Joe Namath and a few other 1970s American football players, if you twisted my arm.)
The trio go to the pub, where they encounter the Ropers, and it turns out that Mr. Roper gives Robin his cold. Chrissy, who for some reason has the day off when Jo doesn't, ends up taking care of Robin the next day.
Chrissy: (using the nurse's first person plural) We must look after ourselves, mustn't we? We must get better. We must go to bed.
Robin: We?
Chrissy: Optimist!
She also tells him, "I'll get you better, even if it kills you."
She makes a folk remedy, to rub on Robin's chest. While Mr. Roper is sitting on the bed with them, Chrissy has Robin open up his pyjama top so she can rub it on. Robin shrieks because the remedy is so hot.
Chrissy: Don't be a baby. I'd quite enjoy it if it was me.
Robin: Yeah, I'd quite enjoy it if it was you.
It starts to tickle. Mr. Roper, feeling like this is getting too intimate, says, "Would you like me to leave?"
Dr. MacLeod: When Jo comes home, she says that all the typing today made her ears sore. Chrissy figures out that this has to do with the Dictaphone.
Jo asks after Robin. Chrissy says, "He's taking it like a man: moaning, groaning, and feeling sorry for himself."
When the girls look in on him, Robin says he once read a book that said when an Eskimo gets a cold, all the young women of the tribe strip off and get into bed with him, to sweat it out together.
Jo: Does it work?
Robin: No, but it doesn't seem to bother them.
They go to the living room because the doctor is going to make a house call. (Flat call?)
Robin: I feel like an old man.
Chrissy: You're out of luck, we haven't got one.
Dr. MacLeod comes by and tells Robin to lower his pyjama trousers and bend over for a vitamin injection. The girls don't leave, and Chrissy even beams. Robin tells them to push off. In the kitchen, Chrissy says to Jo, "As if we'd be interested in seeing him with his pyjamas down."
Robin gets his injection offscreen. He and the doctor were discussing professional football teams, and Robin now admits to being a Southampton supporter. The doctor thinks he's feverish.
Match of the Day: Robin is well Saturday morning. His "sap is rising" and he grabs Jo into his lap and says he'll have her on toast.
But the team captain calls and says Robin is off the team. Barry's bruised toe has healed. Robin pretends to the girls that he's not upset, but then he says he'll go out and cut his throat.
Instead, the trio go to the pub, where Mr. Roper makes fun of Robin. So Mrs. Roper lets the kids borrow their car to go to the away match, at Catford Polytechnic. (Catford is in South London but apparently would take too long to get to by bus, especially at this point.)
We get a lot of outdoor shots now, including of Robin trying to park the car. Barry starts out helping the girls direct him, but then he starts flirting a bit. Robin accidentally runs over Barry's foot, so Robin will play after all.
It turns out to be rugby football, which according to Wikipedia is "frequently cited as the toughest, most physically demanding of team sports." I think Robin was thinking of "Association football," which is not as rough. Apparently, he's never watched his team play before, or asked important questions.
He's injured offscreen and out of the game in five minutes. Chrissy says, "Don't worry, we'll look after you."
Commentary: Could this have been Americanized? To begin with, although Jack boxed in the Navy and is generally athletic, he doesn't seem to play any sport, unless pratfalls count. I suppose they could've had him missing out on something else because of a cold. It might've been a cooking competition, or something else that they could do on a set, since 3'sC never did location shooting.
I can't see the folk remedy scene playing out the way it does. Amer-Chrissy might've rubbed it on Jack's chest, but she wouldn't be sitting on the bed with him, and Mr. Roper definitely wouldn't have been there. I suppose he could've been eavesdropping from out in the living room.
I like that we pretty much have it confirmed now that Jo is a secretary, because of the typing and the Dictaphone. Maybe her schedule is different than Brit-Chrissy's, since she was working later one night and she has to go in on Chrissy's day off. I suppose they could've had Janet going in to the flower shop, wanting to stay home but not having a replacement, while Amer-Chrissy uses a sick day. I can definitely imagine Jack telling the Eskimo story.
Would they have had a doctor make a house call? Maybe, but it was pretty rare even on TV by then. When doctors would show up on The Brady Bunch a few years earlier, it was usually remarked on.
Remedy: Robin is going to be playing on the football team for his technical college, South Kent Tech. They're seventh in a league of eight, but he just barely made it as a replacement player, edging out a pregnant woman. This episode has loads of references to various professional football players, none of whom I've heard of. (I could at least name off Joe Namath and a few other 1970s American football players, if you twisted my arm.)
The trio go to the pub, where they encounter the Ropers, and it turns out that Mr. Roper gives Robin his cold. Chrissy, who for some reason has the day off when Jo doesn't, ends up taking care of Robin the next day.
Chrissy: (using the nurse's first person plural) We must look after ourselves, mustn't we? We must get better. We must go to bed.
Robin: We?
Chrissy: Optimist!
She also tells him, "I'll get you better, even if it kills you."
She makes a folk remedy, to rub on Robin's chest. While Mr. Roper is sitting on the bed with them, Chrissy has Robin open up his pyjama top so she can rub it on. Robin shrieks because the remedy is so hot.
Chrissy: Don't be a baby. I'd quite enjoy it if it was me.
Robin: Yeah, I'd quite enjoy it if it was you.
It starts to tickle. Mr. Roper, feeling like this is getting too intimate, says, "Would you like me to leave?"
Dr. MacLeod: When Jo comes home, she says that all the typing today made her ears sore. Chrissy figures out that this has to do with the Dictaphone.
Jo asks after Robin. Chrissy says, "He's taking it like a man: moaning, groaning, and feeling sorry for himself."
When the girls look in on him, Robin says he once read a book that said when an Eskimo gets a cold, all the young women of the tribe strip off and get into bed with him, to sweat it out together.
Jo: Does it work?
Robin: No, but it doesn't seem to bother them.
They go to the living room because the doctor is going to make a house call. (Flat call?)
Robin: I feel like an old man.
Chrissy: You're out of luck, we haven't got one.
Dr. MacLeod comes by and tells Robin to lower his pyjama trousers and bend over for a vitamin injection. The girls don't leave, and Chrissy even beams. Robin tells them to push off. In the kitchen, Chrissy says to Jo, "As if we'd be interested in seeing him with his pyjamas down."
Robin gets his injection offscreen. He and the doctor were discussing professional football teams, and Robin now admits to being a Southampton supporter. The doctor thinks he's feverish.
Match of the Day: Robin is well Saturday morning. His "sap is rising" and he grabs Jo into his lap and says he'll have her on toast.
But the team captain calls and says Robin is off the team. Barry's bruised toe has healed. Robin pretends to the girls that he's not upset, but then he says he'll go out and cut his throat.
Instead, the trio go to the pub, where Mr. Roper makes fun of Robin. So Mrs. Roper lets the kids borrow their car to go to the away match, at Catford Polytechnic. (Catford is in South London but apparently would take too long to get to by bus, especially at this point.)
We get a lot of outdoor shots now, including of Robin trying to park the car. Barry starts out helping the girls direct him, but then he starts flirting a bit. Robin accidentally runs over Barry's foot, so Robin will play after all.
It turns out to be rugby football, which according to Wikipedia is "frequently cited as the toughest, most physically demanding of team sports." I think Robin was thinking of "Association football," which is not as rough. Apparently, he's never watched his team play before, or asked important questions.
He's injured offscreen and out of the game in five minutes. Chrissy says, "Don't worry, we'll look after you."
Commentary: Could this have been Americanized? To begin with, although Jack boxed in the Navy and is generally athletic, he doesn't seem to play any sport, unless pratfalls count. I suppose they could've had him missing out on something else because of a cold. It might've been a cooking competition, or something else that they could do on a set, since 3'sC never did location shooting.
I can't see the folk remedy scene playing out the way it does. Amer-Chrissy might've rubbed it on Jack's chest, but she wouldn't be sitting on the bed with him, and Mr. Roper definitely wouldn't have been there. I suppose he could've been eavesdropping from out in the living room.
I like that we pretty much have it confirmed now that Jo is a secretary, because of the typing and the Dictaphone. Maybe her schedule is different than Brit-Chrissy's, since she was working later one night and she has to go in on Chrissy's day off. I suppose they could've had Janet going in to the flower shop, wanting to stay home but not having a replacement, while Amer-Chrissy uses a sick day. I can definitely imagine Jack telling the Eskimo story.
Would they have had a doctor make a house call? Maybe, but it was pretty rare even on TV by then. When doctors would show up on The Brady Bunch a few years earlier, it was usually remarked on.
Friday, March 18, 2011
"It's Only Money"
The fifth episode of MatH became the sixth of 3'sC, the one to close out the Britishly short first season. MatH5 aired on 12 September 1973. 3'sC6 appeared Apr. 21, 1977 and was the first episode to reach #4. It's a fairly straightforward conversion, with even the title staying the same, "It's Only Money." There are some differences, which I'll talk about of course.
You move it nicely: Brit-Chrissy comes into the building and checks the post. Janet is just outside her front door when she's looking at the mail. Robin enters the door and Jack comes up the stairs. Robin/Jack has been following Brit-Chrissy/Janet since the bus stop, enjoying the view from the back/rear. He says there's not a lot of her but she moves it nicely. She calls him a sex maniac. Jack says in a goofy voice, "Well, if you're going to be any kind of maniac, that's the kind to be." Robin doesn't reply verbally but he ogles Chrissy as they head upstairs.
Upstairs, Brit-Chrissy notices the flat door's open. Robin thinks Jo's home, but Chrissy says, "No, she isn't, I left her at the office." (I think is the first mention of them working together.)
Jack notices that they went inside the apartment without a key. They both call to Chrissy. No answer.
Janet: Maybe she's taking a shower.
Jack: You're right. I'll go look.
Janet: Hold it! I don't hear any water running.
Jack: I'll go look anyway. Maybe she's taking a bath.
It turns out that Jack left the apartment last. Janet suggests burglars. Jack says there have been a lot of break-ins around there lately.
Janet: You're right! That young couple next door, they've been ripped off twice!
Jack: You mean Horace and Mike?
Janet: Burglars don't care about your sex life.
Brit-Chrissy says there have been a lot of break-ins around there lately. Robin scoffs.
Chrissy: That young couple at 29, they were done twice.
Robin: Young couple? They're both blokes.
Chrissy: I don't think burglars care about your sex life.
They take a peek into the flat.
Chrissy: Have they made much of a mess?
Robin: Well, it's difficult to tell, the way we leave the flat.
Both sets of roommates check to see if burglars are still there. Robin pretends to be accompanied by "Charlie," "Bill," and an Alsatian. Jack tops this, with "Charlie," "Bill," "Fred" (hey, three Weasley brothers!), a Doberman, and shotguns.
Brit-Chrissy doesn't want to check her room alone.
Robin: Certainly, I'll come in the bedroom with you.
Chrissy: I'd rather face the burglar.
When Jack looks in his room, he exclaims, "Oh my God, what a mess!" But that's the way he left it.
Robin starts to make tea, and then he remembers the rent. He checks the rentbook and it's empty. Chrissy comes in and says the transistor radio's gone. Robin tells her that month's rent is gone as well, 80 quid.
The radio is missing on 3'sC, too, along with the envelope under the radio, an envelope with their $300 rent money. (No, I don't know what the exchange rate was in the '70s, and then of course 1973 pounds would have to be converted to 1977 dollars.)
Jo comes in, but she put the rent under the rentbook on the kitchen dresser. Chrissy says they'll have to phone the police.
Amer-Chrissy comes in while Jack and Janet are looking to see if the envelope fell. They're both startled, Jack even leapfrogging into the bathroom. Chrissy took the radio to be repaired, but she left the rent money on the shelf. Jack will call the police.
Special Branch: Downstairs at the Brit-Ropers', they're trying to fix themselves up in the same mirror. George does a combover. When Mildred insults him, he says, "Sarcasm goes right over my head." She says, "Pity your hair doesn't."
They're going out to the pub. He peeks out the window to see if it's stopped raining. He sees coppers. He thinks it's about the telly licence, which he never got. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Television_licence) But the cops want Apartment 2. Mr. Roper says, "Vice squad? Well, I'll give evidence." He claims to know a lot about law enforcement because he watches Special Branch every week. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special_Branch_(TV_series) ) In the background, Mrs. Roper shakes her head no. He corrects this to say he watches on the neighbours' set.
He wants to eavesdrop on the kids upstairs but she makes him go to the pub.
Over at the Amer-Ropers', Stanley says his hair is thinning and when you get to his age, that's the first thing to go. "Not in your case, Stanley."
He also looks out the window, but to peep at "that blonde" in 105. He corrects Helen, it's 107. She tells him that they had a peeping tom last night. He looked in their bedroom window and yawned. He says, "You must've been getting undressed." He breaks the fourth wall and laughs in the direction of the audience, which would soon be his specialty.
Chrissy gave Helen flowers. She got them from Stanley's garden, but it's the thought that counts. Mrs. Roper thinks they should take the kids out to dinner. Mr. Roper doesn't want to. If the trio move out, he could rent the apartment for a lot more money.
Pot: Back upstairs at the Amer-trio's, it turns out that this is last month's rent. They're already a month behind. (Honestly, it's like they pay a month's rent every week. I can't keep track.)
Chrissy says, "I've only got one thing worth selling and I was hoping to save that till I got married." She of course means her grandmother's wedding ring.
They consider telling Roper, but decide he wouldn't believe them.
At the Brit-trio's, two policemen investigate. Eighty pounds and a transistor radio, no, Jo took the radio in to be repaired that morning. Do they usually leave rent money lying in full view?
Chrissy: No, we usually leave it lying under the pot.
Policeman: Pot, Miss?
Not that kind of pot, she means a plant pot.
Chrissy closes the door to show how the door was only slightly ajar. She reveals the banner on the back of the door, with a pig in a policeman's helmet and the words "Join your local piggery." She hastily takes it down.
One policeman sees the key on a string, hanging from the letterbox. Chrissy says, "Oh, but that's only for our use."
One policeman arrives at the Amer-trio's. He finds out that they keep a spare key in the flower pot. Chrissy says that that's for them, no one else is supposed to use it.
Jack says the radio is missing, but Chrissy reminds him that she took it in to be repaired.
Policeman: So the three of you share a flat and so forth.
Jo: Oh, just the flat, not so forth.
The Amer-policeman asks if they're in the habit of leaving $300 lying around. Jack says they're not in the habit of having $300.
The police ask if anything else is missing. Robin/Jack says just small things like lipstick. "You can't find your lipstick, Sir?" He explains he means the girls' lipstick. He can't find things like odd socks.
Janet says it was their rent money. Jack explains, "You see, every week, we collect some money for the pot." The policeman looks at him funny. "Oh, I mean the kitty!"
Policeman: I wonder why they didn't take the TV.
Jack: Have you seen some of these new shows?
One Brit-policeman remarks, "Key in the letterbox, money in full view, no insurance. It's one way of giving to charity I suppose."
Janet wants the cop to tell their landlord that their rent money was stolen. He thinks it's a scam and says next time they should make it look more convincing. For instance, don't leave the money in an envelope marked "rent," nobody's that stupid. Chrissy says, "We are!"
After the police leave: Robin says the cops were a bit sarky. Jo thinks the young policeman fancied her. Chrissy says, "I know the type. Anything you wear will be taken down."
Like on 3'sC, this is last month's rent they lost. They're already a month behind. And they consider explaining to their Mr. Roper but he probably won't believe it either. Jo says, "No use sitting and moping. Let's go to the pub and mope there."
At the pub, Brit-Chrissy suggests a pint and three straws. Robin says it's just 80 quid in debt. The country is 20,000 million in debt (I think he says), but you don't see Heath on the charity list. (Sir Edward Heath was Prime Minister from 1970 to 1974. He also pops up in the lyrics to the Beatles' "Taxman.")
They need money fast. Jo gets the line about "only one thing worth selling."
Chrissy recommends they avoid Roper for a few days, but then the Ropers are revealed to be at the next table. Mr. Roper asks about the police. Chrissy says they were Uncle Albert and Uncle Arthur. (Probably not a reference to Paul McCartney's 1971 song "Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey.") Forthright Jo says they were burgled, but Robin and Chrissy say that nothing was taken. Mr. Roper asks how they know they were burgled then. Chrissy says her uncles told them.
Mr. Roper says, "About the rent--" but the trio dash out.
Back in the downstairs hallway they think that all Mr. Roper could think of was the rent.
Amer-Mr. Roper comes by. They sneak out while he's inviting them to dinner, but we don't see where they go.
The next morning: Mr. Roper sulks about being run out on. Mrs. Roper says he fell asleep complaining about it. "You fall asleep in the middle of everything." They exchange some more insults. (I've got to be honest, the Ropers' bickering was never my favorite part of the show, so I'm not going to go into it much unless notable.)
She urges him to try inviting the kids again. He doesn't want to, so she threatens to spend the day talking to him. He reluctantly agrees to try again.
Meanwhile, Jo is making eggs sunny side up, but Chrissy says they're two black sooty lumps. Robin throws her cooking away, because it doesn't look like food.
Jo says she has a pig in her bedroom, not the young policeman or actual swine, but a money pig. They'll pool their money, but Jo says she blew her life savings on a packet of crisps. The total is "a piddling amount."
In the Amer-kitchen, the girls are in their nightclothes.
Janet: What about that boss of yours? The one who's always chasing you around. Think you could get an advance out of him?
Chrissy: Only if I let him catch me.
Jack comes in wearing an undershirt and what seem to be briefs. Janet is disgusted, till he explains that they're his bathing suit. She reluctantly says all right. Jack says she can't tell the difference between them and his underwear. Chrissy says, "I can. Your underpants have giraffes on them," quite a bit more innocent than Robin's pub signs.
Janet: You don't catch us walking around the apartment in our underwear.
Jack: You've been too quick for me.
Chrissy suggests they have a garage sale even though they don't have a garage. They can rent one with the money from the sale.
Jack suggests getting a loan from a bank. Janet can't because they always check her "impeccable" references.
Then Jack has an idea, and hits his head with the banana he's eating. He can go to his college's financial aid department. He'll have to give them a sad story, so to make the truth sadder, he asks, "Can I tell them you're pregnant?", meaning both girls.
Robin decides to try to get an overdraft at the bank. They're discussing it in the downstairs hallway when Mr. Roper comes out and says, "About the rent--" The trio dash out.
Overdraft and loan: Robin tries to get an overdraft at the bank. The bank official is very stiff and unemotional. Robin has no life insurance or other collateral, so it doesn't look good. When he mentions he lives with two girls, the bank officer says, "Well, yes, that would be expensive." It turns out Robin hasn't got an account there. He does have two pounds, in ha'pence.
In America, William Pierson appears as Mr. Travers, the financial aid officer. He'll later get a recurring role, promoted to Dean Travers.
Mr. Travers: You're living with a woman?
Jack: Yeah, that won't hurt my application, will it?
Mr. Travers: Jack, Jack, this is the '70s. I mean, this is a college, not a monastery.
Jack says that roommate is a typist, the other girl works in a flower shop. Mr. Travers repeatedly and lustfully says, "You live with two girls?" He also asks if this is going to be enough money. Jack says, "I don't believe in biting off more than I can chew." He says he has a six-hour schoolday and studies at night, but he picks up odd jobs. Mr. Travers wonders when Jack can find the time.
I've just had a thought: At the pub again, Jo says she asked her boss for a loan, but he turned his hearing aid off. Chrissy says he's a drag. "He chases you around the desk and then doesn't know what to do with you when he catches you." I'm not clear if this is Jo-you or generic-you, but I get the impression they have the same boss, since they work in the same office. (As secretaries? Not yet clear.)
Back at the apartment, Jack says he almost had the money, but then Mr. Travers asked about Jack's father and that ruined it. Chrissy says, "Are you illegitimate?" The problem is actually that Jack's dad makes over $6000/year, so he's not a hardship case. (What's that in today's money?)
Robin/Jack: I've just had a thought. We mustn't despair.
Brit-Chrissy/Janet: Yes, what is it?/Well, what's your thought?
Robin/Jack: That's it. We mustn't despair.
Janet gets the reply, "We don't need philosophy, Jack. We need money."
Jim the Bartender apparently gives out gambling tips, but the race he's talking about already happened. He does give Robin a quid, telling him to keep the change, when Robin wants to borrow 80. (100 pence in a pound.)
The Ropers come in. "About the rent--" Yes, the trio dash out.
Mr. Roper is wearing a new suit. He won some money, based on one of Jim's tips.
Who took the money: Back at the flat, Chrissy is going to borrow the money from her parents. Robin at first is dubious, but Jo says Chrissy knows what she's doing. So Robin says to "screw them" for 100, "so we can have a nice night out." Chrissy's mother answers, although we don't see her half of the conversation. "No, I don't want to borrow money. Not much."
Jo and Robin go in the kitchen. Jo says maybe the young policeman was looking at her with suspicion rather than lust. Robin says that it could've been one of the three of them that took the money, but he's sure it's not.
Chrissy comes in and says her parents are having their own money woes, including needing to fix the tractor. (Again, this suggests that Chrissy grew up as a farm girl, which is delightful considering her sophistication now.) She's going to send a fiver a week to her parents to help them out.
Chrissy suspects Mr. Roper of taking the money. Robin agrees. Mr. Roper was wearing a new suit and he bought two large gins.
Mr. Roper comes by. "About the rent money--"
Robin: I apologise, Mr. Roper, if I'm wrong, but I think you took it.
George: Yes.
Robin: (to Chrissy) Obviously, we can't prove-- What?
Mr. Roper says he signed the rentbook, but it turns out they didn't notice. Then he says, "What about this month's rent?"
Over on 3'sC, both Ropers come by. They're dressed up, probably because they're hoping the kids will go to dinner with them. Chrissy answers the door but says she's taking a shower, then she shuts the door. The trio go to grab their coats to head to the pub. The Ropers let themselves in.
Stanley: This time, nobody's leaving. Helen, lock that door!
Helen: Come on, Kojak. Why don't you tell them why you came?
Mr. Roper asks yes or no. Jack says, "No, with an explanation." Mr. Roper asks why they don't want to come to dinner.
Chrissy: Is that all?
Stanley: Well, maybe we can go bowling afterwards.
Chrissy laughs in relief and says, "All along we thought you were coming to collect the rent." He says they already paid it. He came up to fix their sink and he saw the envelope that said "rent," so naturally he took it. Janet asks why there was no receipt. He opens his receipt book, and both copies are in there. He now tears their copy out.
Commentary: This is the least sexual plot so far. Even "And Mother Makes Four" had the whole thing about Robin/Jack having to stay in the girls' bedroom. Not that there isn't innuendo, especially in the Mr. Travers sequence, but it's not as central to the story.
The main differences between the two episodes involve Mr. Roper. On MatH, he keeps wanting to tell the kids that he took the rent check, while on 3'sC he's trying to invite them to dinner. Also, on MatH, it's the kids' fault for not looking at their rentbook more carefully, while it's Amer-Roper's fault for not leaving the receipt.
Another difference is in the police. On MatH we get two coppers and a bit of '60s anti-police sentiment. On 3'sC it's one cop who's more obviously suspicious of the trio. (Jack's line about the new TV shows is ironic of course, since this was one of the newest and most critically lambasted of the year.) It's funny that there's a "pot" joke on both episodes. On 3'sC6, as on MatH1, we're reminded that this is the '70s, as if we could forget.
There's the first suggestion that Jo and/or Amer-Chrissy is a virgin, although they're talking about rings. They're both being chased by lecherous bosses at work. (This is well before the days of sexual harassment as a recognized issue.)
A lot of the lines made it intact, or nearly, across the ocean, but it is amusing to think how "That young couple at 29, they were done twice" and Robin suggesting Chrissy screw her parents, i.e. cheat them, had to be rephrased to avoid unintended innuendo. Also, it's funny that on MatH you get political humour, while on 3'sC you get a joke about Kojak (which ran for another year after this).
The other notable thing about MatH5 is it's the episode that introduces Jim the Bartender. His American counterpart would appear often later, until replaced by Mike the Bartender.
You move it nicely: Brit-Chrissy comes into the building and checks the post. Janet is just outside her front door when she's looking at the mail. Robin enters the door and Jack comes up the stairs. Robin/Jack has been following Brit-Chrissy/Janet since the bus stop, enjoying the view from the back/rear. He says there's not a lot of her but she moves it nicely. She calls him a sex maniac. Jack says in a goofy voice, "Well, if you're going to be any kind of maniac, that's the kind to be." Robin doesn't reply verbally but he ogles Chrissy as they head upstairs.
Upstairs, Brit-Chrissy notices the flat door's open. Robin thinks Jo's home, but Chrissy says, "No, she isn't, I left her at the office." (I think is the first mention of them working together.)
Jack notices that they went inside the apartment without a key. They both call to Chrissy. No answer.
Janet: Maybe she's taking a shower.
Jack: You're right. I'll go look.
Janet: Hold it! I don't hear any water running.
Jack: I'll go look anyway. Maybe she's taking a bath.
It turns out that Jack left the apartment last. Janet suggests burglars. Jack says there have been a lot of break-ins around there lately.
Janet: You're right! That young couple next door, they've been ripped off twice!
Jack: You mean Horace and Mike?
Janet: Burglars don't care about your sex life.
Brit-Chrissy says there have been a lot of break-ins around there lately. Robin scoffs.
Chrissy: That young couple at 29, they were done twice.
Robin: Young couple? They're both blokes.
Chrissy: I don't think burglars care about your sex life.
They take a peek into the flat.
Chrissy: Have they made much of a mess?
Robin: Well, it's difficult to tell, the way we leave the flat.
Both sets of roommates check to see if burglars are still there. Robin pretends to be accompanied by "Charlie," "Bill," and an Alsatian. Jack tops this, with "Charlie," "Bill," "Fred" (hey, three Weasley brothers!), a Doberman, and shotguns.
Brit-Chrissy doesn't want to check her room alone.
Robin: Certainly, I'll come in the bedroom with you.
Chrissy: I'd rather face the burglar.
When Jack looks in his room, he exclaims, "Oh my God, what a mess!" But that's the way he left it.
Robin starts to make tea, and then he remembers the rent. He checks the rentbook and it's empty. Chrissy comes in and says the transistor radio's gone. Robin tells her that month's rent is gone as well, 80 quid.
The radio is missing on 3'sC, too, along with the envelope under the radio, an envelope with their $300 rent money. (No, I don't know what the exchange rate was in the '70s, and then of course 1973 pounds would have to be converted to 1977 dollars.)
Jo comes in, but she put the rent under the rentbook on the kitchen dresser. Chrissy says they'll have to phone the police.
Amer-Chrissy comes in while Jack and Janet are looking to see if the envelope fell. They're both startled, Jack even leapfrogging into the bathroom. Chrissy took the radio to be repaired, but she left the rent money on the shelf. Jack will call the police.
Special Branch: Downstairs at the Brit-Ropers', they're trying to fix themselves up in the same mirror. George does a combover. When Mildred insults him, he says, "Sarcasm goes right over my head." She says, "Pity your hair doesn't."
They're going out to the pub. He peeks out the window to see if it's stopped raining. He sees coppers. He thinks it's about the telly licence, which he never got. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Television_licence) But the cops want Apartment 2. Mr. Roper says, "Vice squad? Well, I'll give evidence." He claims to know a lot about law enforcement because he watches Special Branch every week. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special_Branch_(TV_series) ) In the background, Mrs. Roper shakes her head no. He corrects this to say he watches on the neighbours' set.
He wants to eavesdrop on the kids upstairs but she makes him go to the pub.
Over at the Amer-Ropers', Stanley says his hair is thinning and when you get to his age, that's the first thing to go. "Not in your case, Stanley."
He also looks out the window, but to peep at "that blonde" in 105. He corrects Helen, it's 107. She tells him that they had a peeping tom last night. He looked in their bedroom window and yawned. He says, "You must've been getting undressed." He breaks the fourth wall and laughs in the direction of the audience, which would soon be his specialty.
Chrissy gave Helen flowers. She got them from Stanley's garden, but it's the thought that counts. Mrs. Roper thinks they should take the kids out to dinner. Mr. Roper doesn't want to. If the trio move out, he could rent the apartment for a lot more money.
Pot: Back upstairs at the Amer-trio's, it turns out that this is last month's rent. They're already a month behind. (Honestly, it's like they pay a month's rent every week. I can't keep track.)
Chrissy says, "I've only got one thing worth selling and I was hoping to save that till I got married." She of course means her grandmother's wedding ring.
They consider telling Roper, but decide he wouldn't believe them.
At the Brit-trio's, two policemen investigate. Eighty pounds and a transistor radio, no, Jo took the radio in to be repaired that morning. Do they usually leave rent money lying in full view?
Chrissy: No, we usually leave it lying under the pot.
Policeman: Pot, Miss?
Not that kind of pot, she means a plant pot.
Chrissy closes the door to show how the door was only slightly ajar. She reveals the banner on the back of the door, with a pig in a policeman's helmet and the words "Join your local piggery." She hastily takes it down.
One policeman sees the key on a string, hanging from the letterbox. Chrissy says, "Oh, but that's only for our use."
One policeman arrives at the Amer-trio's. He finds out that they keep a spare key in the flower pot. Chrissy says that that's for them, no one else is supposed to use it.
Jack says the radio is missing, but Chrissy reminds him that she took it in to be repaired.
Policeman: So the three of you share a flat and so forth.
Jo: Oh, just the flat, not so forth.
The Amer-policeman asks if they're in the habit of leaving $300 lying around. Jack says they're not in the habit of having $300.
The police ask if anything else is missing. Robin/Jack says just small things like lipstick. "You can't find your lipstick, Sir?" He explains he means the girls' lipstick. He can't find things like odd socks.
Janet says it was their rent money. Jack explains, "You see, every week, we collect some money for the pot." The policeman looks at him funny. "Oh, I mean the kitty!"
Policeman: I wonder why they didn't take the TV.
Jack: Have you seen some of these new shows?
One Brit-policeman remarks, "Key in the letterbox, money in full view, no insurance. It's one way of giving to charity I suppose."
Janet wants the cop to tell their landlord that their rent money was stolen. He thinks it's a scam and says next time they should make it look more convincing. For instance, don't leave the money in an envelope marked "rent," nobody's that stupid. Chrissy says, "We are!"
After the police leave: Robin says the cops were a bit sarky. Jo thinks the young policeman fancied her. Chrissy says, "I know the type. Anything you wear will be taken down."
Like on 3'sC, this is last month's rent they lost. They're already a month behind. And they consider explaining to their Mr. Roper but he probably won't believe it either. Jo says, "No use sitting and moping. Let's go to the pub and mope there."
At the pub, Brit-Chrissy suggests a pint and three straws. Robin says it's just 80 quid in debt. The country is 20,000 million in debt (I think he says), but you don't see Heath on the charity list. (Sir Edward Heath was Prime Minister from 1970 to 1974. He also pops up in the lyrics to the Beatles' "Taxman.")
They need money fast. Jo gets the line about "only one thing worth selling."
Chrissy recommends they avoid Roper for a few days, but then the Ropers are revealed to be at the next table. Mr. Roper asks about the police. Chrissy says they were Uncle Albert and Uncle Arthur. (Probably not a reference to Paul McCartney's 1971 song "Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey.") Forthright Jo says they were burgled, but Robin and Chrissy say that nothing was taken. Mr. Roper asks how they know they were burgled then. Chrissy says her uncles told them.
Mr. Roper says, "About the rent--" but the trio dash out.
Back in the downstairs hallway they think that all Mr. Roper could think of was the rent.
Amer-Mr. Roper comes by. They sneak out while he's inviting them to dinner, but we don't see where they go.
The next morning: Mr. Roper sulks about being run out on. Mrs. Roper says he fell asleep complaining about it. "You fall asleep in the middle of everything." They exchange some more insults. (I've got to be honest, the Ropers' bickering was never my favorite part of the show, so I'm not going to go into it much unless notable.)
She urges him to try inviting the kids again. He doesn't want to, so she threatens to spend the day talking to him. He reluctantly agrees to try again.
Meanwhile, Jo is making eggs sunny side up, but Chrissy says they're two black sooty lumps. Robin throws her cooking away, because it doesn't look like food.
Jo says she has a pig in her bedroom, not the young policeman or actual swine, but a money pig. They'll pool their money, but Jo says she blew her life savings on a packet of crisps. The total is "a piddling amount."
In the Amer-kitchen, the girls are in their nightclothes.
Janet: What about that boss of yours? The one who's always chasing you around. Think you could get an advance out of him?
Chrissy: Only if I let him catch me.
Jack comes in wearing an undershirt and what seem to be briefs. Janet is disgusted, till he explains that they're his bathing suit. She reluctantly says all right. Jack says she can't tell the difference between them and his underwear. Chrissy says, "I can. Your underpants have giraffes on them," quite a bit more innocent than Robin's pub signs.
Janet: You don't catch us walking around the apartment in our underwear.
Jack: You've been too quick for me.
Chrissy suggests they have a garage sale even though they don't have a garage. They can rent one with the money from the sale.
Jack suggests getting a loan from a bank. Janet can't because they always check her "impeccable" references.
Then Jack has an idea, and hits his head with the banana he's eating. He can go to his college's financial aid department. He'll have to give them a sad story, so to make the truth sadder, he asks, "Can I tell them you're pregnant?", meaning both girls.
Robin decides to try to get an overdraft at the bank. They're discussing it in the downstairs hallway when Mr. Roper comes out and says, "About the rent--" The trio dash out.
Overdraft and loan: Robin tries to get an overdraft at the bank. The bank official is very stiff and unemotional. Robin has no life insurance or other collateral, so it doesn't look good. When he mentions he lives with two girls, the bank officer says, "Well, yes, that would be expensive." It turns out Robin hasn't got an account there. He does have two pounds, in ha'pence.
In America, William Pierson appears as Mr. Travers, the financial aid officer. He'll later get a recurring role, promoted to Dean Travers.
Mr. Travers: You're living with a woman?
Jack: Yeah, that won't hurt my application, will it?
Mr. Travers: Jack, Jack, this is the '70s. I mean, this is a college, not a monastery.
Jack says that roommate is a typist, the other girl works in a flower shop. Mr. Travers repeatedly and lustfully says, "You live with two girls?" He also asks if this is going to be enough money. Jack says, "I don't believe in biting off more than I can chew." He says he has a six-hour schoolday and studies at night, but he picks up odd jobs. Mr. Travers wonders when Jack can find the time.
I've just had a thought: At the pub again, Jo says she asked her boss for a loan, but he turned his hearing aid off. Chrissy says he's a drag. "He chases you around the desk and then doesn't know what to do with you when he catches you." I'm not clear if this is Jo-you or generic-you, but I get the impression they have the same boss, since they work in the same office. (As secretaries? Not yet clear.)
Back at the apartment, Jack says he almost had the money, but then Mr. Travers asked about Jack's father and that ruined it. Chrissy says, "Are you illegitimate?" The problem is actually that Jack's dad makes over $6000/year, so he's not a hardship case. (What's that in today's money?)
Robin/Jack: I've just had a thought. We mustn't despair.
Brit-Chrissy/Janet: Yes, what is it?/Well, what's your thought?
Robin/Jack: That's it. We mustn't despair.
Janet gets the reply, "We don't need philosophy, Jack. We need money."
Jim the Bartender apparently gives out gambling tips, but the race he's talking about already happened. He does give Robin a quid, telling him to keep the change, when Robin wants to borrow 80. (100 pence in a pound.)
The Ropers come in. "About the rent--" Yes, the trio dash out.
Mr. Roper is wearing a new suit. He won some money, based on one of Jim's tips.
Who took the money: Back at the flat, Chrissy is going to borrow the money from her parents. Robin at first is dubious, but Jo says Chrissy knows what she's doing. So Robin says to "screw them" for 100, "so we can have a nice night out." Chrissy's mother answers, although we don't see her half of the conversation. "No, I don't want to borrow money. Not much."
Jo and Robin go in the kitchen. Jo says maybe the young policeman was looking at her with suspicion rather than lust. Robin says that it could've been one of the three of them that took the money, but he's sure it's not.
Chrissy comes in and says her parents are having their own money woes, including needing to fix the tractor. (Again, this suggests that Chrissy grew up as a farm girl, which is delightful considering her sophistication now.) She's going to send a fiver a week to her parents to help them out.
Chrissy suspects Mr. Roper of taking the money. Robin agrees. Mr. Roper was wearing a new suit and he bought two large gins.
Mr. Roper comes by. "About the rent money--"
Robin: I apologise, Mr. Roper, if I'm wrong, but I think you took it.
George: Yes.
Robin: (to Chrissy) Obviously, we can't prove-- What?
Mr. Roper says he signed the rentbook, but it turns out they didn't notice. Then he says, "What about this month's rent?"
Over on 3'sC, both Ropers come by. They're dressed up, probably because they're hoping the kids will go to dinner with them. Chrissy answers the door but says she's taking a shower, then she shuts the door. The trio go to grab their coats to head to the pub. The Ropers let themselves in.
Stanley: This time, nobody's leaving. Helen, lock that door!
Helen: Come on, Kojak. Why don't you tell them why you came?
Mr. Roper asks yes or no. Jack says, "No, with an explanation." Mr. Roper asks why they don't want to come to dinner.
Chrissy: Is that all?
Stanley: Well, maybe we can go bowling afterwards.
Chrissy laughs in relief and says, "All along we thought you were coming to collect the rent." He says they already paid it. He came up to fix their sink and he saw the envelope that said "rent," so naturally he took it. Janet asks why there was no receipt. He opens his receipt book, and both copies are in there. He now tears their copy out.
Commentary: This is the least sexual plot so far. Even "And Mother Makes Four" had the whole thing about Robin/Jack having to stay in the girls' bedroom. Not that there isn't innuendo, especially in the Mr. Travers sequence, but it's not as central to the story.
The main differences between the two episodes involve Mr. Roper. On MatH, he keeps wanting to tell the kids that he took the rent check, while on 3'sC he's trying to invite them to dinner. Also, on MatH, it's the kids' fault for not looking at their rentbook more carefully, while it's Amer-Roper's fault for not leaving the receipt.
Another difference is in the police. On MatH we get two coppers and a bit of '60s anti-police sentiment. On 3'sC it's one cop who's more obviously suspicious of the trio. (Jack's line about the new TV shows is ironic of course, since this was one of the newest and most critically lambasted of the year.) It's funny that there's a "pot" joke on both episodes. On 3'sC6, as on MatH1, we're reminded that this is the '70s, as if we could forget.
There's the first suggestion that Jo and/or Amer-Chrissy is a virgin, although they're talking about rings. They're both being chased by lecherous bosses at work. (This is well before the days of sexual harassment as a recognized issue.)
A lot of the lines made it intact, or nearly, across the ocean, but it is amusing to think how "That young couple at 29, they were done twice" and Robin suggesting Chrissy screw her parents, i.e. cheat them, had to be rephrased to avoid unintended innuendo. Also, it's funny that on MatH you get political humour, while on 3'sC you get a joke about Kojak (which ran for another year after this).
The other notable thing about MatH5 is it's the episode that introduces Jim the Bartender. His American counterpart would appear often later, until replaced by Mike the Bartender.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
And then there were two alone together.
With the fourth episode of MatH, the Americanization again starts out similarly but goes in a very different direction. They also again held off on adapting it till the second season. "And Then There Were Two" aired on 5 September 1973, but "Alone Together" appeared Oct. 25, 1977, a couple weeks before "Cyrano de Tripper." "Alone Together" placed #4 in the ratings.
Two birds in a flat: MatH starts out with Jo knitting pink booties for her sister's baby boy. Chrissy worries that the colour will make the nephew sexually confused.
Following Chrissy's instructions on the first episode, Robin is singing in the bath.
Jo: That's his second bath this week. I think he's in love.
Chrissy: I think he is. With me.
She thinks he at least fancies her. He hasn't made a pass at her, but it's the way he hasn't.
This episode introduces Robin's mate Larry. (The American Larry had to wait a bit longer.) When Chrissy lets him in and says that Robin will be out in a bit as he isn't wearing any trousers, he says, "I'm not interrupting anything?" They're going to a Fulham match. Following some other advice of Chrissy's, Robin has started supporting a London team. (Fulham, Google tells me, is north of Wandsworth and west of Lambeth.)
When Robin tells Larry that Chrissy is his flatmate, Larry says, "Sharing a flat with a bird? Suggestive biscuits, eh?" When he hears about Jo, he's very impressed that it's two birds in a flat.
Robin says he's got the girls in rotation, every other day. Chrissy overhears. When she brings them tea, she tells Robin, "I put plenty of sugar in yours. You need plenty of energy." Robin says they were just rehearsing a play.
Chrissy goes back to the kichen, where she tells Jo that Robin has "these wild erotic fantasies about us." Skeptical Jo says, "Oh, me as well now?" Chrissy says they've got a mutual protection society. Jo reminds her she's going to her nephew's christening overnight.
Down at the Ropers, George accuses Mildred of flirting with the butcher. Jo comes down and borrow a suitcase.
If I don't, who will?: Not unlike George spying on Chrissy and David, Stanley in the opening credits of this episode is spying on the neighbors with binoculars.
The episode opens at the Ropers', where he's packing to go away overnight, to check out a real estate deal at Apache Springs. When Mrs. Roper makes some innuendo, he says, "Why you gotta bring sex into everything?" She replies, "If I don't, who will?" And when he has a couple hours to kill before going to the airport, she wants to fool around. He goes to pack his aspirin.
Is that what you think of me?: Upstairs, the girls are doing morning yoga. Jack tells Chrissy, "Don't get too firm. I like to see a jiggle now and then." (A sign of how times have changed. And of course, thanks to Suzanne Somers, this was one of the "jiggle shows" of the late '70s, Charlie's Angels being another notable example.)
Jack thinks this isn't real exercise, so Janet has him try it. New-Yorkly, she tells him, "Take one of your feets," and has him do the lotus position. He gets stuck in it and she tells him that getting out of it is next week's lesson.
The phone rings. Janet asks, "Shall I say you're all tied up?" (Again, one of those moments where she goes Britishy.) She hands the phone to Jack. His girlfriend Linda is calling. He sounds passionate because he's in pain, but he tells her it's because of her.
After Janet hangs up the phone for him, she and Chrissy unfold him. Janet jokes, "You wanna make a wish?"
The doorbell rings, Mrs. Roper. She says that Stanley's leaving her. Hold the congratulations, it's only overnight. She says she's terrified of being alone. Janet suggests she have someone stay over. So Mrs. Roper invites Janet. She's really looking forward to it. "Just imagine, tonight I'll have someone to talk to."
Janet is suspicious of Jack's plans for being alone with Chrissy. Jack demonstrates what he thinks Janet thinks he'll do. He grabs Chrissy, kisses her, and throws her on the couch, narrating it.
Jack: And then who knows what.
Chrissy: (eagerly) What?
But he leaves to do some "fast shopping for a very special dinner for two." Janet says maybe she shouldn't stay with Mrs. Roper. Chrissy is insulted, especially since she's been alone with Jack before. Janet says never for all night. Janet recommends that Chrissy not "do anything to give him the wrong ideas. Or the right ideas. Or any ideas." For instance, Chrissy shouldn't walk around in her shorty nightgown. "Don't be yourself."
Over at the flat, Jo says that her nephew will be christened Cyril, "after my Uncle Charles." Chrissy is understandably confused. "Well, there was this fellow Cyril who was after my Uncle Charles, and she [her sister] liked the name."
Out in the kitchen, Robin is reading Quorum: The Journal of Personal Relationships. The cover shows a line drawing of group sex. He defends it to Chrissy, "It's not a dirty book...It's a serious look at modern-day problems of man, woman, and one who's had a crack at being both."
Following something in Quorum, he goes to get a measuring tape to measure his head. The size will indicate virility. Chrissy says, "He's obsessed with sex." His head is "22 inches, that can't be right. Ridiculous theory anyway. If anything, I'm oversexed."
Chrissy wants to go to the christening with Jo. So Jo asks Robin to set Chrissy's mind at rest. "She thinks you're all set to ravish her as soon as I'm gone." Chrissy vehemently denies thinking this.
He measures her head. "Twenty-two and seven-eighths?" He leers and then beats his chest and makes gorillla noises.
Alone Together: That night, Jack offers wine and cheese before dinner. Chrissy emerges from the bathroom in a modest robe and curlers. Jack is charmed, as it reminds him of his first girlfriend. Her curlers "really turned him on." He loves that Chrissy is herself in front of him.
So she picks up A Visitor's Tour of Sacramento and starts reading in front of him. The book belonged to her father, the minister, who once preached a sermon there. Jack says, "Even when you're rude, you're cute."
She drops the book. They both reach for it. Their heads are close. We cut to a commercial.
Meanwhile, Robin and Brit-Chrissy are on the couch, watching the telly. He says it'll be gettting dark soon. She says he's deliberately been trying to make her nervous since Jo left. He asks, "You have mended the lock on your bedroom door, haven't you?" He quietly beats his chest.
Then he leans towards her and suggestively says, "Chrissy, don't you think it's time we (pause) went to the pub for a drink?" She's very annoyed.
Downstairs, the Ropers are watching the same show. (There weren't very many stations in Britain at the time.)
George: It's not decent.
Mildred: It's The Bells of St. Mary's, George....It's the cleanest film ever made.
He means Chrissy and Robin.
George: They're alone together, the two of them. It's not natural.
Mildred: It is natural, George, I've been trying to tell you that for years.
She also says, "He's not gonna do much in front of Bing Crosby, is he?" (I have no idea how she knows they've got the television on, too, unless the Ropers heard the upstairs set before they turned on their own.) She points out that anyway Robin and Chrissy are over 21. He points out that this is church-commissioned property. "We could be struck by lightning."
Pow: Back upstairs, Robin comes in and again invites Chrissy to the pub. She thinks he wants to "pump her full of gin and tonic and then pow!" She says he shouldn't drink either. He says, "So this is what marriage is like?"
She says she'll be in bed when he gets back. He says, "That's the spirit," and acts like a gorilla again, so of course Mrs. Roper shows up. She comes in as he's leaving. "Mr. Roper's been on at me to come up and find out if you're not enjoying yourselves." She also says that Mr. Roper is on a diet so he doesn't think anyone else should eat.
At the pub, Robin and Larry drink. Larry says that with two birds in the flat, he's surprised Robin can still lift a pint. Robin thinks Jo fancies him. (Ironically, Richard O'Sullivan and Sally Thomsett secretly dated during the run of the show, although I don't know if they were involved at this point.) Robin talks about how atttractive he is. He has only to snap his fingers to get a girl. And then an attractive girl at the next table turns at the sound of his fingers snapping. "Hello, Robin."
She's Liz, from his technical college. She's there with her plainer friend Sheila, whom Larry gets stuck with. Sheila is a Gary Glitter fan, finding him "ever so glittery."
Back at the flat, Mrs. Roper talks about an American she dated during the war, a big buck sergeant. "I was never so well off for chewing gum." But he went back to the States and she met Mr. Roper. "Just wasn't my year." Chrissy wants to keep Mrs. Roper there, but it's getting late.
'Struth: Liz comes back to the flat for "coffee." Then he'll show her his cookery books. When Robin introduces Liz and Mrs. Roper, Mrs. Roper tells him, "Don't make too much noise." Mr. Roper comes out into the hallway as Robin and Liz head up. "'Struth! He's got another one!"
Outside the door, Robin says he shares a flat with someone.
Liz: What's he like?
Robin: He's a real drag. Weedy, boring, glasses.
Liz likes the intellectual type, but Robin says she wouldn't like the flatmate. He has her wait out there while he checks to see if the flatmate is home.
He goes in and Chrissy comes out in a modest dressing gown. He says he was hoping she'd be in bed. "I won't beat about the bush. Do me a favour. Go to your bedrom." She thinks he's chatting her up. He explains that he's got a girl outside.
Chrissy: What about me?
Robin: Well, another night perhaps.
He suggests she phone someone, or knit.
He says if he hadn't pulled Liz, he'd be only too happy to "you know" with Chrissy. She's understandably outraged. He makes her go to her bedroom. He goes back to the lounge. He puts on soft music, turns down the lights, and opens the door. He tells Liz he had to move the easily shocked goldfish.
He offers her a drink, then realises he doesn't have any. No matter. She cuddles up to him on the sofa. He holds up a cigarette box and asks, "Are you smoking?" Starting to neck, she says, "I am a bit."
Not even a little?: The next morning, Janet returns from the Ropers'. She sees the leftovers of the night before, including the empty wine bottle.
Chrissy comes out of her bedroom, wearing a short nightgown and a shorter, less frumpy, open robe. She's out of it and out of sorts, greeting Janet with "Morning, Jack."
Janet several times says she had "quite an exciting evening." They played dominos for four hours. Then they talked. Mrs. Roper's mother was a dressmaker and made all the bridesmaids' dresses for Helen's wedding, in black satin. Chrissy isn't listening, and she leaves the room, defensive and upset.
In the bathroom, Jack is singing "Oh, what a beautiful morning!" Janet knocks on the door.
Janet: Jack, are you decent?
Jack: Depends what you had in mind.
He invites her in.
Jack: Isn't it a sensational day? I feel great! The sun is shining, the birds are singing, surf's up. How was your night?
Janet: Oh, it was OK, but I always find it strange sleeping in a strange bed.
Jack: Oh, me, too.
Janet reacts with wide, angry eyes.
He says he got a chance to get close to Chrissy. When she's had a bit to drink, she really loosens up.
Janet: How loose?
Jack: Did you know she has a heart-shaped birthmark on her--?
Janet: Yes, I did!
Jack: And she talks in her sleep?
Singing again, Jack goes in the kitchen. Chrissy returns to the living room, now in a turtleneck and slacks. Janet wants to talk to her about last night, but Chrissy says it's too humiliating. Janet calls men beasts.
Chrissy says she and Jack had wine, talked, and then he kissed her on the forehead.
Janet: Before or after?
Chrissy: Instead of.
It turns out he didn't try anything. Chrissy frets, "Oh, Janet, do you think I'm losing my sex appeal?" She says she didn't want him to do anything, but he at least could've tried. Janet says, "You're right. Men really are beasts. Beast!" She yells so loudly that Jack is startled into spilling his orange juice, in a quick cut to the kitchen. Chrissy says it's all Mr. Roper's fault for going away.
While Brit-Chrissy's in her bedroom, she calls Jo and asks her about the christening. Jo says it's the usual, the vicar wet one end and the baby wet the other.
Jo asks if Robin's tried it on yet.
Chrissy: I'll say he has! He's trying it on at this very moment!
Jo: Oh, you're keeping your voice very steady.
Chrissy: Oh! Not with me!
Jo is very amused that Robin doesn't fancy Chrissy. Chrissy is glad she reversed the charges. She angrily hangs up.
Meanwhile at Apache Springs: Mr. Roper is on the phone with his wife. He also had to adjust to a strange bed, having had to drink seven cups of cocoa to get to sleep. Also, there's a wild party going on right now, which he called the cops about. A salesman named Mr. Crawford stops by, with a sexy girl named Sherry Lee. They invite Mr. Roper skinnydipping. He tells his wife he's got a meeting. To get Mr. Roper to buy land, Mr. Crawford has Sherry try to seduce Mr. Roper. We even see her naked back, when she's wearing a towel because she had to take off the blouse that she spilled a "drinkypoo" on. Of course the cops show up and arrest Mr. Roper.
He's got Linda: Back at the apartment, Jack's on the phone with Linda again, but Janet makes him hang up and promise to call Linda back. Janet wants Jack to apologize to Chrissy for not making a pass at her. Janet explains that Jack comes on strong with girls and so Chrissy thought she wasn't worth the effort. He says, "With Chrissy, it wouldn't be an effort."
When Chrissy comes back in, he says, "I'm sorry I didn't make a pass at you last night." Chrissy gets mad at Janet for telling. Jack says, "Chrissy, she told me because she loves you. And I love you." Not like that! He says he might've tried to get it on with her, but he's seeing Linda on a regular basis. "I guess I'm a one-woman kind of guy."
Chrissy: It's not important.
Jack: It is important! Why, if I wasn't dating Linda, I'd have been all over you last night! Oh yeah, I would've thrown you on the sofa, and ripped off your clothes, and attacked you like a mad dog!
Chrissy: (thrilled) Oh, Jack, thank you!
The phone rings, Linda again. Then Mrs. Roper drops by, so Jack takes the phone in the kitchen. Mrs. Roper says that Stanley called and he's going to have to stay in Apache Springs for two more days. "Something about official business and being detained for 48 hours." She invites Janet over again. Janet is hesitant, but Chrissy says, "Oh, go ahead, don't worry about me. Remember, he's got Linda."
Janet says OK. Mrs. Roper exits, saying she'll polish up the dominos. Janet looks like she's dreading the next two nights.
Jack comes in, upset with Linda.
Jack: I'm thinking of breaking it off with her. She said something I didn't dig.
Both girls: What?
Jack: She said get lost.
Linda found another guy. Jack asks what's on for tonight. Both girls look worried.
We never find out what happens the next two nights. The episode ends with Mr. Roper happy to be home, drinking cocoa, sitting in bed with Mrs. Roper. and then he accidentally calls her Sherry.
Mustn't grumble: Back out in the lounge, Robin talks about an article he read in Quorum, about giving in to your inner emotions. Liz undoes his tie and snuggles closer. The article also said that sharing things with someone can be very meaningful.
Liz says she'd like to meet his flatmate. Robin says "he" is very boring. Chrissy overhears this and becomes furious. She turns off the music, turns on the lights, and then sits down in the chair and knits. Robin and Liz pull apart. Robin straightens his clothes and says, "Er, Liz, Chrissy."
Chrissy: I went to the clinic today, Pet....They confirmed it. It might even be twins.
Robin: She's kidding.
Liz: That's what she just said.
Robin says that's not even her knitting. It belongs to the other girl he lives with. Chrissy says he has them every other day. She gets out of the chair like she's pregnant. Her exit line is "Don't believe him about his vasectomy."
Liz says she doesn't want to upset Chrissy "in her condition." She storms out.
Chrissy tells Robin it serves him right.
Robin: I mustn't grumble. You're still here.
Chrissy: Can't you take a joke?
Robin: Come to me, My Lovely.
He undoes his shirt. She says she'll scream. He chases her. She slams her bedroom door in his face. He imitates a gorilla again. And then he makes himself tea, as British an ending as you can get.
Commentary: The first thing to address here is the whole issue of rape. These are both light, frothy shows, and very pre-P.C., but there is this undertone of "Robin/Jack is going to rape Chrissy." Jo uses the word "ravish" and Jack's language-- "rip your clothes off," "attack you like a mad dog"-- is violent. Things are complicated because both Chrissies seem to half-hope the male roommate will "you know" with them. I can't explain things beyond the UK and the US were both dealing with the fallout of the sexual revolution, and this is television and farce, so nothing is ever going to happen, no matter how much teasing is going on. Both Chrissies are "nice girls" who are curious about sex. It's unclear if they're virgins. (Yes, Amer-Chrissy had a low melting point, but the writers backtrack from that as time goes on.) There is some attraction on their side towards the male roommates. Note that Brit-Chrissy sort of starts the whole thing by claiming that Robin fancies her.
The ways the male roommates handle the situations are interesting. Robin deliberately tries to make his Chrissy nervous. Jack makes his nervous accidentally. As for the third roommates, Janet fuels Chrissy's suspicions and gives her advice that backfires, while Jo finds the whole thing ridiculous. Then when Amer-Chrissy doubts her sex appeal (with lines lifted from the whole thing about whether or not David was just shy with Jo), Janet is anxious to help them work things out.
The set-up is different as well. Mr. Roper is the one leaving the building overnight. Janet is only going downstairs. Jo goes off to her nephew's christening, and I love the tidbits about her family. It's also nice to get backstory for both Mrs. Ropers. Note that Brit-Chrissy enjoys chatting with Mildred, while Janet doesn't enjoy spending so much time with Helen.
The Liz/Linda split is interesting. Liz is the first classmate of Robin's we meet, as well as the first girl he brings back to the flat. There's no suggestion they've ever dated before, and it seems unlikely she'll give him another chance. Linda, on the other hand, despite having found another guy, will show up in person on a few episodes. Jack, of course, is not a one-woman man, but it works for this episode.
This pair of episodes definitely feel very '70s, from Jack's vocabulary (dig, surf's up, etc.) to the "relationship" advice in Quorum, all that talk about emotions when you really mean getting it on. If I recall correctly, there's an early episode of 3'sC where Jack reads a similar magazine and measures his head.
Two birds in a flat: MatH starts out with Jo knitting pink booties for her sister's baby boy. Chrissy worries that the colour will make the nephew sexually confused.
Following Chrissy's instructions on the first episode, Robin is singing in the bath.
Jo: That's his second bath this week. I think he's in love.
Chrissy: I think he is. With me.
She thinks he at least fancies her. He hasn't made a pass at her, but it's the way he hasn't.
This episode introduces Robin's mate Larry. (The American Larry had to wait a bit longer.) When Chrissy lets him in and says that Robin will be out in a bit as he isn't wearing any trousers, he says, "I'm not interrupting anything?" They're going to a Fulham match. Following some other advice of Chrissy's, Robin has started supporting a London team. (Fulham, Google tells me, is north of Wandsworth and west of Lambeth.)
When Robin tells Larry that Chrissy is his flatmate, Larry says, "Sharing a flat with a bird? Suggestive biscuits, eh?" When he hears about Jo, he's very impressed that it's two birds in a flat.
Robin says he's got the girls in rotation, every other day. Chrissy overhears. When she brings them tea, she tells Robin, "I put plenty of sugar in yours. You need plenty of energy." Robin says they were just rehearsing a play.
Chrissy goes back to the kichen, where she tells Jo that Robin has "these wild erotic fantasies about us." Skeptical Jo says, "Oh, me as well now?" Chrissy says they've got a mutual protection society. Jo reminds her she's going to her nephew's christening overnight.
Down at the Ropers, George accuses Mildred of flirting with the butcher. Jo comes down and borrow a suitcase.
If I don't, who will?: Not unlike George spying on Chrissy and David, Stanley in the opening credits of this episode is spying on the neighbors with binoculars.
The episode opens at the Ropers', where he's packing to go away overnight, to check out a real estate deal at Apache Springs. When Mrs. Roper makes some innuendo, he says, "Why you gotta bring sex into everything?" She replies, "If I don't, who will?" And when he has a couple hours to kill before going to the airport, she wants to fool around. He goes to pack his aspirin.
Is that what you think of me?: Upstairs, the girls are doing morning yoga. Jack tells Chrissy, "Don't get too firm. I like to see a jiggle now and then." (A sign of how times have changed. And of course, thanks to Suzanne Somers, this was one of the "jiggle shows" of the late '70s, Charlie's Angels being another notable example.)
Jack thinks this isn't real exercise, so Janet has him try it. New-Yorkly, she tells him, "Take one of your feets," and has him do the lotus position. He gets stuck in it and she tells him that getting out of it is next week's lesson.
The phone rings. Janet asks, "Shall I say you're all tied up?" (Again, one of those moments where she goes Britishy.) She hands the phone to Jack. His girlfriend Linda is calling. He sounds passionate because he's in pain, but he tells her it's because of her.
After Janet hangs up the phone for him, she and Chrissy unfold him. Janet jokes, "You wanna make a wish?"
The doorbell rings, Mrs. Roper. She says that Stanley's leaving her. Hold the congratulations, it's only overnight. She says she's terrified of being alone. Janet suggests she have someone stay over. So Mrs. Roper invites Janet. She's really looking forward to it. "Just imagine, tonight I'll have someone to talk to."
Janet is suspicious of Jack's plans for being alone with Chrissy. Jack demonstrates what he thinks Janet thinks he'll do. He grabs Chrissy, kisses her, and throws her on the couch, narrating it.
Jack: And then who knows what.
Chrissy: (eagerly) What?
But he leaves to do some "fast shopping for a very special dinner for two." Janet says maybe she shouldn't stay with Mrs. Roper. Chrissy is insulted, especially since she's been alone with Jack before. Janet says never for all night. Janet recommends that Chrissy not "do anything to give him the wrong ideas. Or the right ideas. Or any ideas." For instance, Chrissy shouldn't walk around in her shorty nightgown. "Don't be yourself."
Over at the flat, Jo says that her nephew will be christened Cyril, "after my Uncle Charles." Chrissy is understandably confused. "Well, there was this fellow Cyril who was after my Uncle Charles, and she [her sister] liked the name."
Out in the kitchen, Robin is reading Quorum: The Journal of Personal Relationships. The cover shows a line drawing of group sex. He defends it to Chrissy, "It's not a dirty book...It's a serious look at modern-day problems of man, woman, and one who's had a crack at being both."
Following something in Quorum, he goes to get a measuring tape to measure his head. The size will indicate virility. Chrissy says, "He's obsessed with sex." His head is "22 inches, that can't be right. Ridiculous theory anyway. If anything, I'm oversexed."
Chrissy wants to go to the christening with Jo. So Jo asks Robin to set Chrissy's mind at rest. "She thinks you're all set to ravish her as soon as I'm gone." Chrissy vehemently denies thinking this.
He measures her head. "Twenty-two and seven-eighths?" He leers and then beats his chest and makes gorillla noises.
Alone Together: That night, Jack offers wine and cheese before dinner. Chrissy emerges from the bathroom in a modest robe and curlers. Jack is charmed, as it reminds him of his first girlfriend. Her curlers "really turned him on." He loves that Chrissy is herself in front of him.
So she picks up A Visitor's Tour of Sacramento and starts reading in front of him. The book belonged to her father, the minister, who once preached a sermon there. Jack says, "Even when you're rude, you're cute."
She drops the book. They both reach for it. Their heads are close. We cut to a commercial.
Meanwhile, Robin and Brit-Chrissy are on the couch, watching the telly. He says it'll be gettting dark soon. She says he's deliberately been trying to make her nervous since Jo left. He asks, "You have mended the lock on your bedroom door, haven't you?" He quietly beats his chest.
Then he leans towards her and suggestively says, "Chrissy, don't you think it's time we (pause) went to the pub for a drink?" She's very annoyed.
Downstairs, the Ropers are watching the same show. (There weren't very many stations in Britain at the time.)
George: It's not decent.
Mildred: It's The Bells of St. Mary's, George....It's the cleanest film ever made.
He means Chrissy and Robin.
George: They're alone together, the two of them. It's not natural.
Mildred: It is natural, George, I've been trying to tell you that for years.
She also says, "He's not gonna do much in front of Bing Crosby, is he?" (I have no idea how she knows they've got the television on, too, unless the Ropers heard the upstairs set before they turned on their own.) She points out that anyway Robin and Chrissy are over 21. He points out that this is church-commissioned property. "We could be struck by lightning."
Pow: Back upstairs, Robin comes in and again invites Chrissy to the pub. She thinks he wants to "pump her full of gin and tonic and then pow!" She says he shouldn't drink either. He says, "So this is what marriage is like?"
She says she'll be in bed when he gets back. He says, "That's the spirit," and acts like a gorilla again, so of course Mrs. Roper shows up. She comes in as he's leaving. "Mr. Roper's been on at me to come up and find out if you're not enjoying yourselves." She also says that Mr. Roper is on a diet so he doesn't think anyone else should eat.
At the pub, Robin and Larry drink. Larry says that with two birds in the flat, he's surprised Robin can still lift a pint. Robin thinks Jo fancies him. (Ironically, Richard O'Sullivan and Sally Thomsett secretly dated during the run of the show, although I don't know if they were involved at this point.) Robin talks about how atttractive he is. He has only to snap his fingers to get a girl. And then an attractive girl at the next table turns at the sound of his fingers snapping. "Hello, Robin."
She's Liz, from his technical college. She's there with her plainer friend Sheila, whom Larry gets stuck with. Sheila is a Gary Glitter fan, finding him "ever so glittery."
Back at the flat, Mrs. Roper talks about an American she dated during the war, a big buck sergeant. "I was never so well off for chewing gum." But he went back to the States and she met Mr. Roper. "Just wasn't my year." Chrissy wants to keep Mrs. Roper there, but it's getting late.
'Struth: Liz comes back to the flat for "coffee." Then he'll show her his cookery books. When Robin introduces Liz and Mrs. Roper, Mrs. Roper tells him, "Don't make too much noise." Mr. Roper comes out into the hallway as Robin and Liz head up. "'Struth! He's got another one!"
Outside the door, Robin says he shares a flat with someone.
Liz: What's he like?
Robin: He's a real drag. Weedy, boring, glasses.
Liz likes the intellectual type, but Robin says she wouldn't like the flatmate. He has her wait out there while he checks to see if the flatmate is home.
He goes in and Chrissy comes out in a modest dressing gown. He says he was hoping she'd be in bed. "I won't beat about the bush. Do me a favour. Go to your bedrom." She thinks he's chatting her up. He explains that he's got a girl outside.
Chrissy: What about me?
Robin: Well, another night perhaps.
He suggests she phone someone, or knit.
He says if he hadn't pulled Liz, he'd be only too happy to "you know" with Chrissy. She's understandably outraged. He makes her go to her bedroom. He goes back to the lounge. He puts on soft music, turns down the lights, and opens the door. He tells Liz he had to move the easily shocked goldfish.
He offers her a drink, then realises he doesn't have any. No matter. She cuddles up to him on the sofa. He holds up a cigarette box and asks, "Are you smoking?" Starting to neck, she says, "I am a bit."
Not even a little?: The next morning, Janet returns from the Ropers'. She sees the leftovers of the night before, including the empty wine bottle.
Chrissy comes out of her bedroom, wearing a short nightgown and a shorter, less frumpy, open robe. She's out of it and out of sorts, greeting Janet with "Morning, Jack."
Janet several times says she had "quite an exciting evening." They played dominos for four hours. Then they talked. Mrs. Roper's mother was a dressmaker and made all the bridesmaids' dresses for Helen's wedding, in black satin. Chrissy isn't listening, and she leaves the room, defensive and upset.
In the bathroom, Jack is singing "Oh, what a beautiful morning!" Janet knocks on the door.
Janet: Jack, are you decent?
Jack: Depends what you had in mind.
He invites her in.
Jack: Isn't it a sensational day? I feel great! The sun is shining, the birds are singing, surf's up. How was your night?
Janet: Oh, it was OK, but I always find it strange sleeping in a strange bed.
Jack: Oh, me, too.
Janet reacts with wide, angry eyes.
He says he got a chance to get close to Chrissy. When she's had a bit to drink, she really loosens up.
Janet: How loose?
Jack: Did you know she has a heart-shaped birthmark on her--?
Janet: Yes, I did!
Jack: And she talks in her sleep?
Singing again, Jack goes in the kitchen. Chrissy returns to the living room, now in a turtleneck and slacks. Janet wants to talk to her about last night, but Chrissy says it's too humiliating. Janet calls men beasts.
Chrissy says she and Jack had wine, talked, and then he kissed her on the forehead.
Janet: Before or after?
Chrissy: Instead of.
It turns out he didn't try anything. Chrissy frets, "Oh, Janet, do you think I'm losing my sex appeal?" She says she didn't want him to do anything, but he at least could've tried. Janet says, "You're right. Men really are beasts. Beast!" She yells so loudly that Jack is startled into spilling his orange juice, in a quick cut to the kitchen. Chrissy says it's all Mr. Roper's fault for going away.
While Brit-Chrissy's in her bedroom, she calls Jo and asks her about the christening. Jo says it's the usual, the vicar wet one end and the baby wet the other.
Jo asks if Robin's tried it on yet.
Chrissy: I'll say he has! He's trying it on at this very moment!
Jo: Oh, you're keeping your voice very steady.
Chrissy: Oh! Not with me!
Jo is very amused that Robin doesn't fancy Chrissy. Chrissy is glad she reversed the charges. She angrily hangs up.
Meanwhile at Apache Springs: Mr. Roper is on the phone with his wife. He also had to adjust to a strange bed, having had to drink seven cups of cocoa to get to sleep. Also, there's a wild party going on right now, which he called the cops about. A salesman named Mr. Crawford stops by, with a sexy girl named Sherry Lee. They invite Mr. Roper skinnydipping. He tells his wife he's got a meeting. To get Mr. Roper to buy land, Mr. Crawford has Sherry try to seduce Mr. Roper. We even see her naked back, when she's wearing a towel because she had to take off the blouse that she spilled a "drinkypoo" on. Of course the cops show up and arrest Mr. Roper.
He's got Linda: Back at the apartment, Jack's on the phone with Linda again, but Janet makes him hang up and promise to call Linda back. Janet wants Jack to apologize to Chrissy for not making a pass at her. Janet explains that Jack comes on strong with girls and so Chrissy thought she wasn't worth the effort. He says, "With Chrissy, it wouldn't be an effort."
When Chrissy comes back in, he says, "I'm sorry I didn't make a pass at you last night." Chrissy gets mad at Janet for telling. Jack says, "Chrissy, she told me because she loves you. And I love you." Not like that! He says he might've tried to get it on with her, but he's seeing Linda on a regular basis. "I guess I'm a one-woman kind of guy."
Chrissy: It's not important.
Jack: It is important! Why, if I wasn't dating Linda, I'd have been all over you last night! Oh yeah, I would've thrown you on the sofa, and ripped off your clothes, and attacked you like a mad dog!
Chrissy: (thrilled) Oh, Jack, thank you!
The phone rings, Linda again. Then Mrs. Roper drops by, so Jack takes the phone in the kitchen. Mrs. Roper says that Stanley called and he's going to have to stay in Apache Springs for two more days. "Something about official business and being detained for 48 hours." She invites Janet over again. Janet is hesitant, but Chrissy says, "Oh, go ahead, don't worry about me. Remember, he's got Linda."
Janet says OK. Mrs. Roper exits, saying she'll polish up the dominos. Janet looks like she's dreading the next two nights.
Jack comes in, upset with Linda.
Jack: I'm thinking of breaking it off with her. She said something I didn't dig.
Both girls: What?
Jack: She said get lost.
Linda found another guy. Jack asks what's on for tonight. Both girls look worried.
We never find out what happens the next two nights. The episode ends with Mr. Roper happy to be home, drinking cocoa, sitting in bed with Mrs. Roper. and then he accidentally calls her Sherry.
Mustn't grumble: Back out in the lounge, Robin talks about an article he read in Quorum, about giving in to your inner emotions. Liz undoes his tie and snuggles closer. The article also said that sharing things with someone can be very meaningful.
Liz says she'd like to meet his flatmate. Robin says "he" is very boring. Chrissy overhears this and becomes furious. She turns off the music, turns on the lights, and then sits down in the chair and knits. Robin and Liz pull apart. Robin straightens his clothes and says, "Er, Liz, Chrissy."
Chrissy: I went to the clinic today, Pet....They confirmed it. It might even be twins.
Robin: She's kidding.
Liz: That's what she just said.
Robin says that's not even her knitting. It belongs to the other girl he lives with. Chrissy says he has them every other day. She gets out of the chair like she's pregnant. Her exit line is "Don't believe him about his vasectomy."
Liz says she doesn't want to upset Chrissy "in her condition." She storms out.
Chrissy tells Robin it serves him right.
Robin: I mustn't grumble. You're still here.
Chrissy: Can't you take a joke?
Robin: Come to me, My Lovely.
He undoes his shirt. She says she'll scream. He chases her. She slams her bedroom door in his face. He imitates a gorilla again. And then he makes himself tea, as British an ending as you can get.
Commentary: The first thing to address here is the whole issue of rape. These are both light, frothy shows, and very pre-P.C., but there is this undertone of "Robin/Jack is going to rape Chrissy." Jo uses the word "ravish" and Jack's language-- "rip your clothes off," "attack you like a mad dog"-- is violent. Things are complicated because both Chrissies seem to half-hope the male roommate will "you know" with them. I can't explain things beyond the UK and the US were both dealing with the fallout of the sexual revolution, and this is television and farce, so nothing is ever going to happen, no matter how much teasing is going on. Both Chrissies are "nice girls" who are curious about sex. It's unclear if they're virgins. (Yes, Amer-Chrissy had a low melting point, but the writers backtrack from that as time goes on.) There is some attraction on their side towards the male roommates. Note that Brit-Chrissy sort of starts the whole thing by claiming that Robin fancies her.
The ways the male roommates handle the situations are interesting. Robin deliberately tries to make his Chrissy nervous. Jack makes his nervous accidentally. As for the third roommates, Janet fuels Chrissy's suspicions and gives her advice that backfires, while Jo finds the whole thing ridiculous. Then when Amer-Chrissy doubts her sex appeal (with lines lifted from the whole thing about whether or not David was just shy with Jo), Janet is anxious to help them work things out.
The set-up is different as well. Mr. Roper is the one leaving the building overnight. Janet is only going downstairs. Jo goes off to her nephew's christening, and I love the tidbits about her family. It's also nice to get backstory for both Mrs. Ropers. Note that Brit-Chrissy enjoys chatting with Mildred, while Janet doesn't enjoy spending so much time with Helen.
The Liz/Linda split is interesting. Liz is the first classmate of Robin's we meet, as well as the first girl he brings back to the flat. There's no suggestion they've ever dated before, and it seems unlikely she'll give him another chance. Linda, on the other hand, despite having found another guy, will show up in person on a few episodes. Jack, of course, is not a one-woman man, but it works for this episode.
This pair of episodes definitely feel very '70s, from Jack's vocabulary (dig, surf's up, etc.) to the "relationship" advice in Quorum, all that talk about emotions when you really mean getting it on. If I recall correctly, there's an early episode of 3'sC where Jack reads a similar magazine and measures his head.
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