The twenty-sixth episode of MatH might've made it as a 3'sC episode, but it feels rather rooted in the characters, Robin and George in particular. It aired on 10 April 1975, closing out the fourth series.
Dripping: As the episode opens, the trio are in their kitchen. Jo has made toast on toast because there are no eggs. Robin sarcastically says, "Oh, great! I could make a sandwich if I had some toast to put in it." He likes the (egg) dripping, so Chrissy offers to pour a bucket of water on him.
Jo says that Tesco's has a new policy: they want money in exchange for food now. The trio have all been borrowing from the rent book, and they're down to 12 quid. Chrissy says she had to pay the rates, the gas, and the electricity, all final demands. Robin says she's frittered their money away.
He took a girl out for a bite. Chrissy asks if he couldn't have bitten the girl for cheaper than that.
He wants her to tell Mr. Roper about the rent. She says, "Oho, but notice the smooth way it shifted from I to we to you." The rent isn't due till Monday, and he says they could wait till then, or Tuesday.
Oxfam: The Ropers are also in the kitchen. Yesterday she wanted a new hat and he now says yes, having had to consider it a day. She wants a style that hides the face, which he thinks is a damn good idea.
She says her wardrobe looks like the window at the Oxfam shop. ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxfam#Shops ) He can't believe a hat would cost five pounds. And he says she has a natural beauty that doesn't need expensive adornment. She sees through him.
She brings in the post. He's gotten a letter from Inland Revenue Service!
Misc.: This transitions to a close-up of the trio's bills. Chrissy has put most of their items under miscellaneous.
Jo suggests taking out their phone. If they want to talk to their friends, the friends could ring the trio instead.
Chrissy says they can't economise 68 pounds within 48 hours.
Someone knocks. Chrissy says if it's Larry, they're not lending him anything. So Robin answers and tells Larry they're not lending anything.
Larry says he just wants sugar, and asks if a friend can't borrow from a friend. So Robin asks to borrow 68 quid. Larry says he has a fiver, which he won't lend. He tells the girls it'd be no good them acting all sexy and pressing up against him.
Chrissy: For a fiver?
Larry: I could make it six, no?
He says he has a cert in an upcoming race.
Jo is going to get credit at the shops by flirting, including with one man over 70. She leaves.
Larry's cert is called Front Page. It's 8 to 1. Robin wants to bet on it, but Chrissy is hesitant.
Claim: Mildred returns with a new hat, a black sort of cowboy-style. George says, "You look like Lee Marvin." It was half of a price she didn't ask.
She asks about the IRS letter. They got him on a technicality. He's been claiming "Leslie Roper," their nonexistent son. He accidentally claimed him and then accidentally gave him a name. Mildred calls her husband a little crook. And then she finds out he's been claiming Leslie since 1955!
Front Page: Upstairs later, Chrissy tries to get reception on the telly. Robin and Larry come in. Robin bet 12 pounds, since they might as well not have all of the rent money.
She says the set is on the blink, so Robin lifts the contraption with rabbit ears off the top of the television. She directs him so they can get reception. Larry says a whack on the side usually helps. She says, "No, he's doing his best." Robin ends up on the balcony.
Larry says he's seen better pictures on the radio. They get the race in, but Robin can't see it from out on the balcony, so he sets the rabbit ears on the railing and comes back in.
Chrissy reads that Front Page is horse #3 and the colours are pink and blue. Together, Robin and Larry queenily say, "Nice!" Chrissy thinks that the Queen Mother is riding the horse. Robin says, "She owns it! I hope."
Larry didn't bet on the horse because Robin is backing it and he thinks Robin is dead unlucky with horses.
Jo comes home with the groceries. No one asks about how much she had to flirt (or more) to get them. She says it's cold, so she shuts the door to the balcony, breaking the cord for the rabbit ears. Robin is horrified.
New life: Mildred can't believe that George has been claiming a son for 19 years. George says he sent the son off to university, since he didn't want the IRS to think "our son" was only half educated. He named the boy after Leslie Compton ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leslie_Compton ).
Mildred says she'll have to sell the house and start a new life, maybe in Brighton or South End. She could run a boarding house. She ends up excited about the prospect.
George says he didn't mean any harm. Then he wants her to go in and say it was her idea.
Someone knocks and she answers. Robin and Chrissy come in. Mildred goes to get tea. Robin and Chrissy want to watch the telly since theirs is on the blink. Robin sits on Mildred's new hat but hardly notices. When George sees they're watching the race, Chrissy claims that they didn't bet, which is true in her case.
Larry and Jo come in without knocking. She thinks Robin has taken a silly risk.
After Front Page loses, Mr. Roper asks, "Which horse was it you weren't betting on?" Robin says it was all of them, but mainly Front Page.
Chrissy says, "Excuse us, we've got to kill somebody." As the four young people leave, Larry says it's not his fault. He just said it was a strong horse. As they go into the entryway and upstairs, Chrissy says the horse would have to be strong, since it's "just taken the three of us for a ride."
Mildred is surprised that they didn't wait for the tea. She thinks it's George's fault. Then she thinks her crushed hat is his fault.
And we go to a break.
Son: When we return, Mildred is wearing a pink scarf and a checked blouse. She tells George to get it over with and ring the IRS. He doesn't know what to say, but he phones the name on the letter, G.W. Matthews. She refers to her Bournemouth boarding house.
George tells Matthews he can't come into the IRS office because of his bad back. He has an old war wound caused by a German sniper's bullet. So Matthews (offscreen) says he'll come round. Mildred points out that there were no German snipers in Putney.
George: Tell him I'm dead.
Mildred: Oho, lovely! And where do I say you were phoning from?
She puts on her hat and black cape, looking even more Western. She says she's going down to the shops for matching gunbelt and spurs.
Robin knocks and when she answers, he greets her with a distracted "Howdy." He asks if Mr. Roper is free. She says yes, but not for very much longer, implying he'll soon be arrested. She leaves.
Robin says he's come about the rent, which is due today. George says, "I knew that, Son," and then after awhile the word "son" gives him an idea.
George: Hey, you could pass for 19 in a bad light.
Robin: Thanks very much.
(Well, this at least confirms that Robin is older than Chrissy, since if he were 20 it wouldn't be as hard to pass for 19.)
George has him sit down on the settee. Then George sits on the arm of the settee, next to him. He laughs mischievously. Then he pats Robin's knee. He says, "I've got a little proposition to put to you, Son." Robin raises his eyebrows and then looks dubiously up at Mr. Roper.
Butter: Larry drops by the trio's place. Chrissy answers the door and is not happy to see him. He says he feels a bit responsible. He doesn't want them to think any the less of him. Jo says they couldn't. He's not sure how to take that.
He came down to scrounge butter. Jo says no way. But he wants to make it up to them. He gives Chrissy a dead cert for the three o'clock at Newmarket. She hits him with a pillow.
Bob's your uncle: Back downstairs, George finishes explaining his plan as he pours a drink and gives it to Robin. He concludes, "And Bob's your uncle," which means "And there you have it."
Robin: Bob's my uncle?
George: And I'm your father.
Robin can't bring himself to call George "Dad." Or to fill George's request to look more like him.
George: You scratch my back, Son, and I'll scratch yours.
Robin: While he's here?
"God knows if I had a son, I wouldn't want one like you, no offence." Robin says none taken.
Robin says it's rather dishonest. And then George mentions the rent, and Robin says it's blackmail. He gives back the drink and says he won't cooperate. He says he's a terrible liar and he'll just pay the rent tomorrow or the day after. "See what a terrible liar I am?" He exits.
Accessory: The four young friends are gathered in the kitchen. Larry says Robin is balmy, because he could've saved a month's rent. Jo says she would've done it. Chrissy says, "Oh yeah, meet my son. He's had the operation."
When Robin says, "Who would've thought Roper would fiddle with his income tax?", everyone, including Robin, says they would've.
Robin says that if he'd helped Mr. Roper, he would've been an accessory. Jo says, "What? Like a handbag?"
The girls honestly tell Robin that they don't think honesty is the best policy. Then they leave for the pub.
Larry again says that Robin is balmy and could've saved a month's rent.
Robin says perhaps he should've done it. Larry says, "No, stick to your principles." He exits singing, "He was poor, but he was honest."
Gordon: At the White Swan, Chrissy says Roper doesn't often ask for favours. "I mean, all he wanted was a son. Half an hour and it would've been over. And he was willing to pay for it." Percival the barman is shocked and exclaims, "The dirty old devil!" Then he says it's none of his business.
Jo offers him a post-dated check for their drinks. He says, "For 30p? I'll put it on your slate," then moves out of hearing for a bit.
Chrissy doesn't think it'd have worked because she doesn't think Robin looks like a Leslie. Jo thinks he looks more like a Gordon.
Chrissy says Leslie could've been a girl's name. She says, "Actually, if he wanted a daughter, you could've done it standing on your head." She laughs. Percival catches this bit and looks disgusted.
Muddle: George lets Mr. Matthews in. The taxman is played by Anthony Sharp, who was in A Clockwork Orange four years earlier. He often played lords. He was almost 60 at the time of this episode and died nine years later.
After some confusion over two T's/teas, George gets him some sherry. George nervously says it's nice weather, if you like that sort of thing. Mr. Matthews says you don't see a lot of it inside. George thinks prison, but Mr. Matthews means his office.
Mr. Matthews says that the tax form is a bit of a muddle. George put his name as "6 Myddleton Terrace," and his address as "George Roper." George also put his wife down as "untaxed income from abroad." George chuckles and I wonder if Brits ever used "broad" as a term for a woman.
Mr. Matthews says that George didn't put which university his son is attending. George says Leslie can tell it himself, and he lets in Larry, who's wearing glasses and holding a book.
We briefly return to Robin, who's ironing. He picks up the rentbook and seems torn.
Mr. Matthews asks George and Larry which university. They speak at the same time, saying Oxford and Cambridge, then reverse that. No, Larry isn't wearing his Oxford shirt, though he apparently had time to dig up a pair of glasses.
Mr. Matthews asks "Leslie" his age. Larry says, "How old am I, Dad?" George says 19ish, but he worries a lot. Mr. Matthews says it's a worrying time, university. He asks what "Leslie" is reading, meaning studying. Literal Larry says of the book he's holding, "Er, The Day of the Jackal." (Acclaimed 1971 thriller novel later made into a film.)
Mildred comes home. George introduces everyone, including her to their son. Larry says, "Hello, Mum. Did you buy me any Fruit Gums?" ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rowntree's_Fruit_Gums )
Mildred wants a word with George, but he's trying to deal with Mr. Matthews. The taxman asks the exact date of Leslie's birth. George says Februaryish. Mildred says, "I wouldn't know. I wasn't there."
Someone knocks and she lets in Robin, who says, "Hello, Mummy. Hello, Daddy."
Robin: Larry?
Larry: Leslie.
Robin: Oh, Christ.
Mr. Matthews is surprised by this other "son." George says this one is from the wrong side of the blanket, i.e. a bastard. Mr. Matthews says George still could've claimed him as well. George is tempted, Mildred disapproving.
Mr. Matthews asks which one is Leslie. Larry and Robin point at themselves and then at each other.
The girls let themselves in. Chrissy says hello to Robin and Larry. Jo, with a kiss, tells George, "Hello, Daddy." She shakes Mr. Matthews's hand and says, "How do you do? My name's Leslie."
George still doesn't give up, and the episode ends with him asking, "How would it be if I adopted all three of them?"
Commentary: Although this episode isn't bad-- I laughed out loud a few times-- I don't really have much to add. It seems a bit implausible that in all these years Mildred never asked to look at the tax forms, but then if she has to get George's permission to buy a hat, I don't know. (What happened to him getting an allowance?)
It's also a bit weird having George ask Robin and Larry to play Leslie, since I'm pretty sure he still doesn't know either of their names. As on the "gardening" episode, George uses blackmail, but Robin understandably has more of a problem lying to the government than he does taking care of Roper's jungle.
I will add that this episode manages to not only have the usual joke or two about gays (including Robin thinking Mr. Roper is chatting him up), but it works in a sex-change joke and a misunderstanding about prostitution.
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