The fifth series of MatH gets new credits. The trio are on a boat. Not only do I have no idea how they can afford it, but Robin is drinking champagne. Chrissy tries to start the motor but falls back. Then she pulls up a snorkel, throws it back to the diver, and tries to look nonchalant.
Jo sunbathes on her stomach and undoes the top of her bikini. A fisherman catches her top. She's next shown sitting up, with a towel over her front. She's surprised and then amused. Robin strips off his shirt then hands it to Jo. He and Chrissy smile. Robin takes off his hat, which says, "Hello Sailor," and bows to Jo.
I don't like these as much as the zoo credits, although Robin's chivalry is cute. It feels off to have Chrissy suddenly having mishaps like this. (Jo's mishap is not of her own making.) Also, there's less of a feel to the trio having fun together, compared to the zoo credits. I'm guessing for series six, we'll get a modification of these, but I won't spoil myself this time.
As for the episode itself, it aired on 4 September 1975, just about two years after "And Then There Were Two." The title is of course a reference to the 1971 film directed by Peter Bogdanovich, based on the 1966 novel by Larry McMurtry. The Americans went with the more prosaic "Home Movies" for their 24th episode, which appeared on Jan. 24, 1978. That placed #14 in the ratings, the second-lowest rated episode in the first three years of the show. (The pilot was #28). Not that that's a bad rating, but it feels particularly low considering the teasing premise.
Battleship Potemkin: MatH opens with Jo and Robin sitting on the settee. She's reading a magazine and he's watching the telly, with an archbishop at the Methodist Conference. Jack and Janet are watching TV together, but from their body language, she's riveted and he's bored. A male character is threatening suicide, with his wife trying to talk him out of it.
Robin uses the remote to switch to a description of a boxing match. Then he switches back to the conference, amused at the juxtaposition. Jo tells him to stop that or he'll break the channel-changer. He says there's nothing else to do.
When Jack switches the channel, Janet is upset. Jack switches back, at a dentures commercial, which he makes segue into a glue ad. All Janet catches is the end of the movie. When Jack gets off the couch, she lies down.
Robin /Jack says the ice glaciers are advancing at a rate of half an inch every year. He thinks they should take advantage of the time left, so he tries to take advantage of her. In Robin's case, he jumps her and she pushes him off. Jack is less aggressive. He hovers over Janet's supine body and tries to kiss her. She pushes him away and says no dice. He tries to use the remote on her.
Brit-Chrissy comes home with a man wearing glasses, a plaid jacket, and a pink tie. He's a very tall redhead who smokes a pipe and carries a briefcase. Amer-Chrissy's date looks less stereotypically pseudo-intellectual, but both he and she are wearing turtlenecks. Peter Greene plays Brit-Neil and he doesn't have any memorable credits, just the usual Dr. Who, Carry On, etc. Stuart Gillard would go on to be a successful director, most notably for Avonlea and Charmed, so his role as Neil the film buff feels especially appropriate.
The Chrissys are surprised that their roommates are still awake. Robin says it's half past ten. When Amer-Chrissy says, "I thought you two would be in bed by now," Jack smiles and says, "It's not for lack of trying." Janet puts popcorn in his mouth.
The Chrissys introduce their date, Neil. He belongs to the local film society, which tonight was showing The Battleship Potemkin ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Battleship_Potemkin ), with two hours of footage that Eisenstein left on the cutting room floor. Jo says, "We had a pretty boring evening, too." Chrissy suggests Jo make coffee. For once, 3'sC is subtler. Janet just looks dubious and goes to make herself coffee.
Brit-Chrissy and Neil sit on the settee, she next to Robin. She and Robin make faces at each other, as she tries to signal to him to leave. Amer-Chrissy and Neil sit down on the couch, but Jack remains standing. (I have a theory, which I'm not going to try to prove, that Jack says more of his lines standing than Robin does, at least in the early years of the show. I have a strong composite mental image of him delivering punch lines that way, sometimes with his arms crossed. Robin is more likely to be slouching in the chair or on the settee, because he's more laidback.)
Robin/Jack says that Chrissy said Neil is interested in rotten old films. She says she didn't say it like that. Neil says it's a fair/good point though, since most of them are on nitrate stock, which doesn't last long. Robin/Jack says two hours sounds long enough to him.
In talking about the movie, the Chrissys accidentally say Einstein. The Neils correct them, Amer-Neil adding that Einstein did the theory of relativity. Amer-Chrissy asks, "Was that a silent or a talkie?" Jack is amused, so she tells him to go help Janet.
Brit-Chrissy says you could feel the man's (Eisenstein's) presence in every frame. This reminds Neil and he takes a wrapped gift out of his briefcase. Now Chrissy tells Robin to go help Jo. Robin is very winky about leaving the room. Jack is even worse, taking Robin's simple line of leaving them to get on with it and making it into "I'll leave you two to get it on." He slaps himself and says, "I mean to get on with it."
Brit-Chrissy looks like she's about to kiss Neil, then Robin pops back in from the kitchen to say they won't be interrupted. Amer-Neil looks like he's going to kiss Chrissy, as he puts his arm behind her. They even move in for a kiss, before Jack comes back to say, "Don't worry, no one will disturb you." They try again, but he returns to say everybody in this building minds their own business. Janet has to yank him back into the kitchen.
We get a little scene in the British kitchen. Robin didn't know it's almost Chrissy's birthday. Jo says that all week Chrissy has been saying, "I'm 22 on Saturday." Well, what do you know? Chrissy was lying to her mum! Unless she's now lying to her flatmates. If she's 22 on some Saturday in late August (this episode covering at least a few days), then that puts her birthday in August 1953. She moved to London when she was 18 and turned 20 around the time we met her. She was still 20 when she was dating the 30-year-old.
Robin says he forgot to get Chrissy a gift and there's no time. Jo says, "And the ice glaciers are advancing half an inch every year."
Perfume: We switch to the Ropers' bedroom, where she's wearing a frilly nightdress/gown and spraying herself with perfume. Mildred even puts it in her mouth and cleavage! Mrs. Roper calls out to her husband.
He comes in with his toolcase/toolbox. When she asks why, he says something's missing from it. She asks if he means his mucky/dirty little magazines. He says they're art. Helen gets the line, "Yeah, they're full of busts." Mildred says they have titles like Wink, Nudge, and Titter. George buys them for the articles on motoring and male fashion. Mildred looks at him in his boring striped pyjamas. Stanley says he buys them for the articles on male fashion and automobiles. Helen doesn't really react.
Mildred packed them up and gave them to Oxfam (second Oxfam reference on the show). Helen gave them to the Salvation Army. Stanley threatens, "Helen, one of these days you're gonna make me come after you." She says, "God knows I try."
Mr. Roper gets into bed and then wonders what the bad smell is. She says it's her perfume. Mildred's is "Tonight or Never," Helen's "Now or Never." Mr. Roper says that's half right.
Mildred actually saved one of George's magazines, but he's not in the mood. He soon falls asleep and snores, or at least fakes it. She hits him with the magazine. On 3'sC, all we get is Helen pulling the sheet over her head in frustration.
Presenting: In the kitchen the next morning, Brit-Chrissy is unwrapping her birthday presents. Jo got her a nice bracelet but a card for a 4-year-old. Jo didn't read the verse first. Robin, who's in his "slow dancing" shirt from the gardening episode, gives her an IOU for a card and present.
Larry comes in, wearing his Oxford shirt. He wants to borrow a sausage (said without innuendo). He asks, "Who's in line for the big birthday kiss from me?" Robin queenily says, "Well, if you really insist," and puckers up. Larry doesn't kiss anyone.
The American trio are reading the newspaper in sections, which after awhile they trade counter-clockwise. Chrissy gets the obituaries and says it happened again, people keep dying in alphabetical order! The doorbell rings and she goes to get it before Janet can explain. Jack says sometimes Chrissy is right about these things, and maybe they should change their names to something beginning with Z. Janet says he'd have to call himself Jack Zipper. He says he wouldn't like that because people would make remarks like "Hey, fella, your name is open!"
Amer-Chrissy returns with a package from home. She says it's not her birthday or anything. Jack says he was beginning to feel guilty. (But I thought Chrissy was born in December/January? Again, lousy continuity.)
Brit-Neil's card says he didn't know what to get her, so he got her something he needs himself. Robin asks how Neil put a kick up the backside in the box. Chrissy says, "Oh, you've never liked him," making it sound like she's gone out with Neil awhile.
Neil got her a cinecamera. Robin says, "As seen on television," probably a reference to a specific advert. Amer-Chrissy's parents got her a movie camera, too. She says she told them she's dating "a nice Methodist boy who likes films." Jack says, "Great. Next time tell them you're going out with a banker."
The Chrissys say they'll have lots of fun with the camera as soon as they learn how to use it. Robin/Jack shows her that she's holding it backwards.
Curse: Mildred is reading Beauty Time magazine. She lowers the cover and we see that she's wearing a white "face pack" as she calls it. It needs to set for ten minutes. Meanwhile, Helen is lying on the couch with a green face.
Mr. Roper comes home wearing a raincoat. Stanley is reading Playhouse, with a buxom blonde in a lowcut blouse and what a few years later would be known as Daisy Dukes. He has other magazines rolled up in his pockets. He sees Helen resting on the couch, so he hides this magazine in a pocket, too.
George says he had his morning constitutional around the block. Stanley says there's nothing like a nice brisk walk around the block first thing in the morning. Helen says she thought he went upstairs to fix the window in the kids' apartment. (It's a different window this time, as we'll see.)
Mr. Roper notices the face pack and is surprised, but then he tells her he likes it and she should leave it on. She says insults bounce right off her. He says a brick would bounce right off that stuff.
George says Christopher Lee had something like it in Curse of the Mummy. He went around murdering people. Mildred says she knows how he felt. Stanley says Lon Chaney wore something like this in The Mummy's Curse. He does his patented take, but it doesn't get applause. Then she says, "He's got his curse, I've got you," and that they clap for. Christopher Lee never actually did a movie called Curse of the Mummy, but he was in The Mummy (1959) as the title role. Lon Chaney, Jr. did star in The Mummy's Curse (1944).
Mr. Roper is going to take a shower/bath, and his wife wonders why he's wearing his raincoat. Mildred says he's been buying more of those dirty little magazines. He refuses to discuss it. She yells at him and breaks her face pack. She cries.
Helen says he can give those dirty magazines a bath, too. He claims he got Popular Mechanics and Reader's Digest. She says, "Oh, go fix your window." He leaves.
Interesting: Upstairs, Brit-Chrissy has three lamps on as she films Robin sitting in a chair in the lounge. She tells him, "Don't just sit there, do something interesting." So he lifts his shirt and touches his nipples. She says, "Not too interesting." He lowers his shirt.
Amer-Chrissy films Jack reading Fashion magazine. When she tells him to do something interesting, he does his perve act and comes towards her. She tells him not that interesting.
Jo comes in from the kitchen and tries to put face powder on Robin, Jamaican Dust. He theatrically exclaims, "With hazel eyes? You must be mad! Cancel my contract, I'm leaving the set!" Janet manages to put face powder on Jack, but he balks at blue eyeshadow. He says, "I'm walking off the set, cancel my contract."
Brit-Chrissy follows Robin through the kitchen. Amer-Chrissy goes after Jack across the living room. The Chrissys are still filming, so they say to do something natural. Robin/Jack opens the bathroom door and says, "I'm about to," and she can't film it.
Brit-Chrissy has Jo pour cornflakes into a bowl, meanwhile smiling, frowning, and then laughing. The cornflakes get all over the table, but neither girl seems to care. Amer-Chrissy takes flowers out of a vase just so Janet will arrange them. She makes Janet laugh, too, for quite awhile. Then the Chrissys say tomorrow they must try this with film in the camera.
Jo says, "What?" and the British scene ends there. But Janet chokes Amer-Chrissy and then the doorbell rings. As she goes to get it, she says, "Next time, please date a stamp collector."
She lets in Mr. Roper. She asks if it's raining outside and he says no. Jack returns from the bathroom, still made-up. He also asks if it's raining. When Mr. Roper asks about Jack's face, he says, "Just a little eyeshadow. Do you like it?" He leans forward. The audience laughs and appluads.
The broken window is in Jack's room, so he goes in and beckons to Mr. Roper with only his hand and arm visible. Mr. Roper says he'll find it himself. Jack reemerges and hisses at him. The audience is delighted. The trio are very amused.
The first picture show: The next scene is also in the lounge/living room, but everyone's in a different outfit from before. Brit-Neil is at a projector, while Chrissy sets up a screen, with Robin and Jo on the settee. In America, Neil is on the couch, Chrissy is at the projector, and Jack does the screen. Janet is absent but presumably watches the movie at some point, based on her behavior later in the episode.
Jack says he's going to the game with Larry tonight (probably basketball again). As the doorbell rings, Jack says he's sure Chrissy's movie will deserve to be hidden away in the archives. She takes this as a compliment. Jack lets Larry in. Larry says the game starts in 15 minutes, but Jack says this won't take long.
Brit-Larry lets himself in, "ready for the big premiere." He makes another joke about strawberry ripple, which I still don't understand.
On MatH, Larry is of course an established character by now, the sixth biggest on the show (after the trio and the Ropers). But this is actually only the second appearance of Amer-Larry.
Brit-Neil says that he borrowed the projector from the film society. Robin mocks Neil's posh accent in an aside to Larry. Jack tells Amer-Larry that Neil collects old sprocket holes.
The Chrissys start the movies. Brit-Chrissy's is in black & white and silent. The shots are very blurry and shaky at first. Robin holds up a movie clapboard that has Chrissy and Friends as the movie title. He hurts his hand shutting the clapboard on it.
Then Robin, Jo, and Larry stand close together. Chrissy wanted an action shot, so they all jump once. Larry looks bored, Jo as if she's having a great time, and Robin somewhere in between.
Next a shirtless Robin dives, and then splashes in a kiddie pool. Chrissy seems to have filmed at least some of this movie in a park.
Larry opens his shirt and starts to unzip his trousers. Then we see a random housewife (in curlers) smiling and modeling for the camera.
Jo plays with a beach ball but she's lit so darkly that we can't see any details. Thus, when Chrissy says this is the part where Jo lost the top of her bikini, and Larry and Robin lean forward on the settee, we can't see anything. Chrissy admits, "Not a good shot really."
Chrissy put herself in, like Hitchcock she says. She's wearing a long dress and holding a drink. She sits in a chair with an umbrella, which after a few moments closes on her.
Amer-Chrissy's movie, in contrast, is all set in the trio's living room. It opens with an extreme close-up of Jack's smile, at a 45-degree angle. Jack mimes a clapboard and camera. This is also a silent movie, but in color.
Janet comes in the front door. For the "action" shot, she and Jack do lots of hopping, still at the odd angle.
Then we get a normal angle for Jack in the kitchen, making an omelet or souffle. He tries to flip it but has to catch it in his hand and put it back in the pan. Janet comes over and kisses his cheek. He exaggerates his surprise. Then he kisses her and backs her onto the table.
Next is a sideways shot of Jack with a glass. Janet hands him a wine bottle. He pours the wine into the glass. The men and Chrissy tilt their heads as they watch.
Chrissy says in the next part Janet is going to the beach. Janet enters from her bedroom in a pink bikini, holding a beach ball. Chrissy says Janet loses the top of her bikini. The men lean forward. But we next see a close-up of Janet's face looking worried and surprised. Then she smiles. The camera backs up, to reveal her holding the beach ball in front of her. We can just see her naked shoulders. The men lean back.
The film ends and the Chrissys ask, "What did you think?" The Brits are particularly speechless, till Neil says it was very interesting. Robin agrees. In America, it's Larry who agrees with Neil that it was very interesting. Brit-Chrissy says there are another 20 minutes to go, while Amer-Chrissy says there are six more reels. The men's body language says they're dreading it, the American men in particular. Amer-Larry even tries to leave, but Jack stops him. (So much for the game.)
And both shows go to a break.
Sampler: When MatH comes back, we open on a sampler that says, "Home Sweet Home." For some reason the audience finds this funny.
Robin is in a bathrobe (dressing gown?), with a towel over his shoulder. He walks through the kitchen and towards the bathroom. He opens the door but doesn't go in. Jack comes out of his bedroom fully dressed and goes into the bathroom.
Robin/Jack apologizes to Jo/Janet, who's having a bath. (We don't see anything, on MatH because she's offscreen and on 3'sC because of the shower curtain.) Robin/Jack says they really need to get the lock fixed. (Yeah, it's been over a year on both shows!) Robin steps away and then goes back as he talks, while Jack just says the bit about people coming in and staring at her. Jo/Janet tells Robin/Jack to get out and throws the sponge at him. Jack tells Janet she needs more bubbles.
Someone knocks/rings the doorbell. Robin/Jack answers it. It's Larry. Amer-Larry hasn't yet fully transitioned from his car-salesman plaid to his swinging singles threads, but he is wearing a suede jacket.
The Larrys ask if the girls are home. Robin/Jack say the Chrissys are getting dressed and Jo/Janet's having a bath. Robin says, "They actually float," which the audience takes suggestively, then he holds up the sponge. Amer-Larry asks, "What are you doing with the sponge?" Jack says he has to do everything around here.
The Larrys want to borrow the projector. Robin/Jack says they'll have to ask the Chrissys. The Larrys say the Chrissys might not approve of blue movies.
Last week Brit-Larry met a bloke at the pub (unspecified but probably the White Swan), while Amer-Larry met a guy at the Regal Beagle. The bloke was named Ken, Sid, or Fred. He works for customs. He confiscated some blue movies, red hot stuff. They should've been burned but his lighter wasn't working. He's selling them for a fiver a throw.
The guy was named Kenneth. Amer-Larry doesn't know him well enough to be on last-name terms. Kenneth has a friend on the vice squad. He has some really hot films that were confiscated and should've been burned. Kenneth is selling them for 50 bucks. (Either the exchange rate and the inflation between 1975 and '78 were incredible, or Amer-Larry is getting ripped off even more than we think.)
Robin/Jack doesn't want to loan the Larrys any money. Brit-Larry says he's not always on the borrow, and Amer-Larry makes a similarly unbelievable claim, although in his case it's a bit more plausible at this point because his character is less familiar, only known for giving Jack a puppy in order to cancel a debt.
The Larrys will come up with the money themselves, but they still want to borrow the projector. The Chrissys come in and the Larrys ask when the projector has to go back. The Chrissys aren't sure but ask why the Larrys want to know. Meanwhile, Jo comes in wearing a towel. She wants her sponge back. Robin presents it to her.
The Larrys say they want another chance of seeing the Chrissys' movies. The Larrys say they really enjoyed it. Jack rolls his eyes. Jo says, "Oh, may God forgive you." She says he fell asleep. He says that's why he wants to watch again, because he missed most of it.
The Chrissys can't show the movies right now because Brit-Chrissy is meeting Neil at noon, while Amer-Chrissy is meeting him in half an hour. Amer-Chrissy says, "Oh, darn," so Jack imitates this when feigning disappointment. Brit-Chrissy says to Robin, "And you said it was boring." She adds that some people are easily bored, and she exits.
N.F.T.: This transitions to a sign that reads, "N.F.T. presents/ An Exhibition of STILLS/ from the FILM ARCHIVES 1894-1920." A couple, he with a beard, walk over to the sign and look very happy.
Then we see Neil and Chrissy and she looks very bored as he talks about a still from 1894. When he mentions D.W. Griffith, she thinks "Dee" is a woman. He says Griffith pioneered the close-up. She says she used one in her film. She says she knows her film wasn't very good, it was pretty terrible. At first he's polite, and then he says it was dreadful. She's hurt.
They go over to another still. Then he recognises a blonde named Diana. He and Diana met at a film conference. He "pinched her seat," but this is said without innuendo. They talk about the conference and clasp hands for about 15 seconds. Chrissy now looks jealous but still bored.
There's no equivalent scene on 3'sC. Catherine Riding plays Diana, and she has only a few, very minor credits.
Approval: One of the tasks Mildred said George should be doing (when she was yelling at him and broke her face pack) was mending the stairs, so that's what he's doing in the next scene. Meanwhile, Stanley is clipping the hedge outside his apartment.
Jo comes down the stairs, and then Brit-Larry comes in the building, happy she's going out. She's going to the laundrette.
Amer-Larry comes downstairs and asks Stanley if he's clipping the hedge. Stanley says Larry is very observant. Larry tries to hide the film behind his back. Janet has a laundry bag, so Larry asks if she's going to the laundromat. Stanley tells her that Larry is very observant.
After Jo leaves, Brit-Larry trips over George while going up the stairs. He drops his movie. Janet accidentally knocks down the film with her laundry bag as she exits. Mr. Roper picks up the film and reads the title: Red, Hot, and Randy in England, Naked Dreams in America. The cover isn't visible in America, but the British one shows a naked woman turned to the side, her face, arm and shoulder visible. Her hair is sort of like in the bottom picture here: http://gugelpicek.blogspot.com/2010/07/60s-hairstyles-60s-hair.html .
The Larrys say there's a projector upstairs. Mr. Roper asks if the Larrys are going to show the film on it. The Larrys say that's a good idea. Mr. Roper says that as landlord, it's his duty to see that any film shown in this house meets with his approval, and he does approve of the title.
The Larrys invite Mr. Roper up to watch the movie. Mr. Roper says he'll go get his glasses, Stanley so eager that he doesn't even let Larry finish the invitation.
Cleaning: George/Stanley hunts for his glasses. Mildred comes in with a magazine that has a cover of a woman naked except for stockings, one hand covering her crotch. Helen enters with Playhouse. Mrs. Roper found her husband's hiding place. He says he doesn't hide the magazines, he leaves them in a convenient spot. Anyway, what was she doing on top of the wardrobe? She says she was cleaning up the dirt. Mildred flicks her feather duster at the magazine.
Mildred says she's going to make a serious effort to understand why he reads this sort of muck. Helen says she's going to do her best to try to understand why he reads this stuff.
Mildred opens the magazine to the centrefold and asks, "What does that do for you?" He hesitates, then puts on his glasses. He says the girl is upside-down. She says the girl was photographed that way.
We mostly see the covers, but if you pause at the right moment (which of course viewers couldn't do 35 years ago), you'll see that when Mildred holds the magazine sideways, there's a tan or black woman with black pubes! This is even more startling than the dirty-word Scrabble.
On 3'sC, the centerfold is much more discreet. We see a girl whose very long red hair hangs down from her head and covers most of her naked body. Stanley may say he reads about the automobiles, but he doesn't know what a Ferrari is. Helen says there's one right next to the girl with the big-- He says, "Ah! Nice hubcaps."
Mildred: What has she got that I haven't got?
George: Now don't be silly, Mildred.
Helen: Why do you have to look at pictures like that when you've got me around?
Stanley: All day long people have been asking me stupid questions.
Colo(u)r: Upstairs, the Larys are trying to load the blue movies onto the projectors. Brit-Larry says the movie is in full colour, mostly pink. Amer-Larry says it's flesh color mostly. Brit-Larry says the movie has sound. Robin asks what kind. Larry laughs as he says, "I dread to think."
Robin/Jack asks Larry what this sort of thing does for him. Larry says Robin/Jack is just as interested as he is. Robin denies that and will sit here denying it all through the movie.
Then the Chrissys come home. Brit-Chrissy says boring Neil met a boring girl and had a boring conversation about boring film and she got bored. Amer-Chrissy says she's had it with that stupid boring Neil. He told her how awful her movie was. "Who does he think he is, D.W. Hitchcocks?" (Combining two of the directors mentioned on MatH.) The guys mouth, "What?" at each other.
The Chrissys ask what the men are doing. Robin stutters and then says Larry is going to watch Chrissy's movie. On 3'sC, Larry does most of the stuttering.
When they see that the Larrys are having trouble with the projector, the Chrissys say they can do it, no problem. Robin/Jack says there is one problem.
Jo/Janet returns, since the laundrette/laundromat is closed on Sundays. The Larrys and Robin/Jack say, "Two problems," in sync.
When the Chrissys say they're going to show the home movies again, Jo/Janet wants to go out again. Robin/Jack says that's a good idea and they can all go out, since only the Larrys want to watch.
Then Mr. Roper comes in the open door without knocking, glasses in hand. George/Stanley is surprised that Brit-Chrissy/Janet is interested in this sort of movie.
Jo: Of course she is. She's in it.
Amer-Chrissy: Of course she's interested. She's in it!
Stanley is particularly shocked. The audience claps.
Brit-Chrissy says so are Jo and Robin. "Larry gets a bit as well." Janet says, "So are Jack and Chrissy." Brit-Chrissy wants George's opinion, like does she zoom in too quickly? He says, "I'll watch out for that."
Mrs. Roper comes in. She says her husband snuck out when her back was turned, Helen adding the detail that she was checking on her casserole. Mr. Roper says he was invited upstairs. Brit-Chrissy/Amer-Chrissy say it was to watch her home movie. Mrs. Roper wants to watch, Helen especially enthusiastic.
Stanley: I'm tired. Why don't we go to bed?
Helen: No, Stanley, I'd rather do something we can do together.
Robin tells Brit-Larry, "Oh, death, where is thy knife?", presumably deliberately mangling the quote. Jack goes over to Amer-Larry with a fake smile and asks where the earthquakes are when you really need them, a more Southern Californian kind of comment.
The Larrys think Robin/Jack should say/do something. Jack says, "Me do something? It's your movie." He punches Amer-Larry's shoulder. But he does try Charades. Larry mimes cutting. Robin suggests a game of cards, or Twenty Questions, or I Spy.
The distractions don't work, so Robin/Jack says he did his best. The Larrys say, "That was your best?"
The Chrissys start the movies. Robin and Brit-Larry cover their eyes. But in England we see The Nearsighted Mr. Magoo, while America gets Woody Woodpecker. Robin and Larry hear Jim Backus's chuckles and lower their hands. On MatH, everyone is puzzled for different reasons, but Amer-Chrissy says, "What a nice surprise, Larry! They always show the cartoon before the main feature!" (And, yes, they sometimes still did that in the late '70s. By the rise of the VCR in the mid '80s, the practice had faded.)
Brit-Larry: That cost me a bloody fiver!
Amer-Larry: Fifty bucks for Woody Woodpecker?
Brit-Larry says he'll murder that Ken. Robin says, "Or Fred or Sid or whatever his name was." Then he playfully slaps Larry and the episode ends.
Jack is very amused and he says, "Thank God for Kenneth Whatshisname! He really gave you the bird!" Then he does the "Woody" laugh. Helen laughs a lot. Janet mostly seems amused by her.
Artist: For the 3'sC tag, Amer-Chrissy is wearing an artist's smock and making a charcoal picture as Stanley poses with a plunger. He's apparently been doing this for two hours.
Jack and Janet come home with groceries. Janet tells Jack that Chrissy's new boyfriend is a painter. (Janet always seems to know more about Chrissy's boyfriends than Jack does, which makes sense considering she's Chrissy's best friend, and Jack usually dislikes Chrissy's beaus.) They go over and look at the picture. They think it's pretty good and Mr. Roper won't believe the likeness. Then there's a shot of Chrissy signing her name to a picture of the plunger. All in all, one of the stronger tags, although I can see why it got cut in syndication like most of them.
Commentary: From MatH's new credits onward, this pair of episodes is about teasing the audience. That we actually do get to see some porn on MatH is deliciously ironic, although my guess is that they figured it was easier to buy an actual skin mag than to invent something like Playhouse. (Or they wanted to see what they could get away with, like the dirty Scrabble.) Like I said, without a pause button, '70s audiences would only get a glimpse. And the British censors are obviously a lot less strict than the American ones.
The part with Jo's bikini top being fished away will remain through the season, as I know from watching MatH31, but it does foreshadow what happens to her during Chrissy's movie. This pair of episodes is unusual for having Robin and Jack chase after the J-girls more than the Chrissys. Not only do they hope to see Jo and Janet without their bikini tops, but there are the opening scenes with them using boredom as an excuse for seduction, as well as Jack backing Janet up onto the kitchen table during Chrissy's home movie. (Actually, Robin gets fresher with himself than he does with anyone else.) Instead of feeling competitive with the Neils, like they did with Ian/Lloyd and David/Michael, they seem to have given up on the Chrissys for the moment. (Not that RCST is dead by any means, just hibernating.)
Brit-Neil seems like a pretentious jerk throughout, but Amer-Neil doesn't seem too bad, until he offscreen is harsh about Chrissy's movie. Amer-Chrissy's parents are happy to hear she's dating a Methodist (her religion being more integral to 3'sC than the passing reference on MatH), but it doesn't take her roomies long to start talking about who she should date "next time." And indeed she's already hooked up with some nameless artist by the end of the episode.
As with the line about only a man would get a girl pregnant, some of the lines that Brit-Chrissy says that sound like simple mistakes become fodder for the dumb-blonding of Amer-Chrissy, like the expansion of the Einstein slip.
It's interesting that instead of the scene at the exhibition, we get the sub-subplot of Stanley fixing Jack's window and being frightened by Jack hitting on him. Stanley doesn't make any homophobic remarks this episode, but there's a sense of payback for the times he has.
These episodes seem to have more than their share of comedic references to violence. Among them:
1. Janet yanking Jack by his hair
2. Stanley threatening to "come after" Helen (although she takes it sexually of course)
3. Mildred hitting George with a magazine
4. Mildred relating to the murderous mummy
5. Janet choking Chrissy
6. Jack punching Larry's shoulder
7. Brit-Larry saying he'll murder "Ken"
8. Robin slapping Larry
Also, the relationship between the Amer-Ropers is much more antagonistic than that between the Brit-Ropers on these episodes.
It feels like Helen gives up on Stanley more this episode than Mildred does with George. Mildred yells at George, while Helen says, "Oh, go fix your window." Helen pulls the sheet over her head rather than continue trying to seduce Stanley. And she would rather watch a home movie than go to bed with him because the former is something they can do together.
It's slightly surprising that Mildred saves one of George's magazines, and seems to want to use it as a tool of arousal, but neither Mr. Roper wants to share pornography with his wife. (George probably had to find a new place to stash his magazines when Larry moved into the attic.) I don't know the laws on exhibiting adult movies in private residences, not for profit, in the 1970s, U.K. or U.S., but it's a safe bet that landlords had no such duty to approve them.
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