When MatH18 got converted to a late fourth season episode for 3'sC, the rhythm of the story, as well as the result, changed. "Somebody Out There Likes Me" aired on 6 November 1974, while "Secret Admirer" appeared on March 11, 1980, placing #7 in the ratings.
Train-spotting: George is combing his hair while Mildred reads her horoscope. This is supposed to be her lucky day, so he'd be better be careful crossing the street.
He's entering a darts match at the British Legion. She wants him to take her out, saying London offers opera, ballet, theatre, cinema, train-spotting, and rooting through old dust bins. She tells him that someday he'll find she's gone, some other man sweeping her away. He doesn't buy it.
He goes out to the entryway and sees Chrissy. He asks if she'd always be nagging at him to take her out. Amused, she says, "I would not."
Notes: Upstairs, Robin is cooking in his naughty apron. He makes what I think is the second reference to Fanny Cradock, since there might've been one back on the first episode. ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fanny_Cradock ) Jo is wearing the first of two huge dresses. I doubt Sally Thomsett was pregnant since she has only one child, born around '96. I'm going to just assume that this style was fashionable at the time, and she did wear a rather large dress for the party scenes on "While the Cat's Away." She might have put on weight, since there's another reference to her diet, but her face looks the same.
Robin says he's serving "long pig," although it's really chicken because Tesco's didn't have one missionary left on their shelves. (This joke obviously would not have made it across the Atlantic.)
Chrissy gets home late because Old Wilkins wanted her to work on a report. Jo tells her that she got flowers The note says they're from an admirer. He didn't put his name but he did address it to Chrissy Plummer. (I think this is the first time we get her last name. Apparently Jo's is never mentioned.) Chrissy doesn't recognise the handwriting. Robin says the handwriting looks like Jack the Ripper's, but he imitates Quasimodo.
Over in L.A., Janet is vacuuming while Jack sleeps on the couch. She has to lift him to vacuum the cushions. Then she removes the cushions from under him, puts them on the floor, and rolls him onto the cushions. He sleeps through all of this.
Chrissy comes home and runs in. She got another note at work from her secret admirer. This is the seventh one. She notices Jack sleeping but knows how to wake him up. She says she ran into that redhead, Valerie Markham. Jack says, "Where?"
She reads Jack the poem that the secret admirer (hereafter referrred to as SA) left: "Roses are red/ Violets are blue/ Your smile is like sunshine/ And you always come to work dressed very nicely also." Jack says they can rule out any professional poets.
Brit-Chrissy says she likes the flowers if Robert Redford sent them, but not if Old Roper did. (We learned on "In Praise of Older Men" that Amer-Chrissy likes Robert Redford, too.) Jo suggests that Larry sent them, but Robin says that's not Larry's style. Larry is more "wham, bam, thank you, Ma'am."
Amer-Chrissy says that someone leaves the notes on her desk before anyone else gets there. Jack says then it can't be one of her bosses. She's not amused. She says it's not easy having someone admire you. "I hope you never have to experience it." Janet is very amused by that.
Brit-Chrissy offers the flowers to Jo, but she doesn't want Chrissy's cast-offs.
They all go in the kitchen, since dinner's ready. Robin doesn't want them to wash their hands because the food always get cold. (I know the '70s were less germ-phobic than the '10s, but this is worrisome.)
Jack suggests leaving a note on the bulletin board at Chrissy's workplace saying that she'll be at the Regal Beagle. It takes her awhile to get it, since she wasn't planning to be there. Then he touches her head and says, "The medicine must be working."
Janet asks what will happen if it's some creep that Chrissy doesn't want to go out with. Jack says then Janet will be along to scare him off. He makes an ugly face by crossing his eyes and using his hand to form a pig nose.
The episodes are starting to diverge, so I'll just talk about MatH for awhile, and then 3's C, until they sort of sync up again.
Milkman's eye: Mildred and Chrissy are chatting about Chrissy's admirer. Chrissy says it could be half the men in the country. In particular, there's the milkman who makes a pass at every women, and the coalman who chats up all the women. Well, not Mrs. Roper. Chrissy keeps putting her foot in her mouth.
Mildred is happy to get the flowers and she plans to put them in her best vase, setting them in the window. Perhaps she can catch the milkman's eye.
Prospects: Robin is now doing the dishes. Chrissy comes back from the Ropers'. The trio discuss who the admirer could be. Jo suggests a coworker in tweed and a small moustache. Chrissy says, "Miss Butcher?" (This may be the first lesbian joke on the show. It's an old stereotype that lesbians wear tweed.) Jo actually means Mr. Grimes in accounts, although he's over 60. Ginger the Office Boy is another possibility.
Robin thinks it's one of Chrissy's "very weird boyfriends." So the girls start listing off Chrissy's boyfriends, none of whom have appeared on the show. There's Clive with a big nose, or at least a small face, but he went all Hari Krishna. Tom. Trevor. Bernard.
Chrissy has a little black book, although she claims that the stars are for the numbers of times she went out with each man. Robin asks about the abbreviation L.H.O.T.M. Chrissy says it stands for "Left Hand on Thigh Merchant."
Perhaps SA is Bernard. He was always sending her flowers and chocolates. Jo says maybe he's trying to reestablish contact. Robin says maybe something has brought a memory back. A faded rose, a snatch of some romantic song, a pair of knickers in the glove compartment.
Jo suggests ringing Bernard up. Chrissy doesn't know if he's even still at that number.
Carrycot: We switch to a kitchen set with soiled diapers on washlines. Babies are crying offscreen. The phone rings. A blond man in an apron calls to a woman named Cynthia.
He's happy to hear from Chrissy. He hasn't sent her flowers in 18 months, but he's willing to send some again. He suggests they get together for old times' sake.
A woman comes in wearing a robe. He starts talking as if he's selling a carrycot (like a small pram). When she leaves the room, he admits that his wife wants him to sell the carrycot because the twins have outgrown it. He says his wife doesn't understand him. Chrissy says, "But I do." She hangs up in disgust.
Maybe it was Colin who's SA.
Not particular: Downstairs, Mildred tries to clean a vase that seems to have something like cement inside. George comes in, happy that he won the darts contest. He thinks she resents him popping across to the British Legion, which suggests their hall, or wherever they meet, is close by. She says, "I don't care if you pop across to the Foreign Legion." It turns out he's put polyfiller in the vase. ( http://www.woodflooringcontractor.com/can-you-use-poly-filler-to-fill-cracks-in-wood.html )
He sees the flowers and thinks she's been throwing away housekeeping money. She says they were given to her. When he finds the card saying they're from an admirer, she's as surprised as he is. He guesses it's the milkman, who's not particular. As he angrily tries to find out who it is, she keeps denying it, until she realises she wants him to be jealous, so she says, "Wouldn't you like to know?" And we break for adverts.
Cadbury's: We get the tidying up scene here. Robin is awake while Chrissy vacuums, as he's taking the newspaper off the settee. They're not quite sure whose turn it is to clean, since there's been a lot of trading of chores. Jo comes in and says that she'll do the tidying up while they go to the pub. They didn't know they were going, but she says, "Well, it's your turn."
Robin is wearing a green-and-black-striped sweater, which I think he's worn before. It will be significant later.
Mrs. Roper brings up the post. It's only gas and electric, which Robin thanks her for before tearing them up and throwing them in the wastebasket that not-pregnant Jo is holding in front of her stomach. Mrs. Roper also gives a package to Chrissy. Chrissy recognises the handwriting as belonging to the fellow she doesn't know.
It turns out to be a huge box of chocolates, from an admirer. Robin does his Quasimodo.
Jo finds the situation romantic, but Chrissy doesn't like this sort of thing. The chocolates could be-- Robin completes her thought, "Drugged." Jo says, "No, Cadbury's don't do drugged chocolates." (Well, it was the '70s.) Chrissy says that Jo can have the chocolates if she thinks they're romantic. Then Jo says she's on a diet. Chrissy offers them to Mrs. Roper, who pretends reluctance before taking them. Then she asks for the card, too.
Male mind: At the pub, we see Robin getting drinks from a blonde barmaid, but on the other side of the set. It'll turn out later that this isn't the Mucky Duck but some place called the White Swan. On either side of Robin, a man is reading, one with black hair and beard, the other with blond hair and glasses. Robin, who's smoking, takes the drinks to the table.
He tells Chrissy that for all she knows, SA could be him. It isn't, but it could've been somebody as nice as him. She suggests someone as good-looking as him, with the same sort of personality. When he agrees, she says, "That's all I need, a big-headed twit sending me flowers and chocolates."
He says they should apply the male mind to this, forget intuition and guessing, and apply reason and deduction. SA could be anybody. SA probably doesn't know her, he's a stranger. He could be anybody in this pub. We pan to Blackbeard, Four-Eyes, and an older bald man who leers and purses his lips at her. She says, "Drink up and let's go!"
Communicating: Meanwhile, George paces angrily as Mildred debates which chocolate to eat. He warns her that although he usually restrains his temper, when he loses it, there'll be blood on the moon. She happily says, "George, we're communicating!" He says no, he's telling her off. And he storms out.
He only gets as far as the entryway though. Bernard has shown up with gifts. George thinks they're for Mildred, and he throws himself across his front door to prevent Bernard from coming in. Bernard starts heading upstairs, to George's confusion.
Then Robin and Chrissy come in. Bernard tells her he's got some flowers and chocolates. She says, "And a wife and twins. Goodbye, Bernard."
After Bernard leaves, Chrissy and Robin explain to Mr. Roper. He grins and goes back into his flat. He's very amused as he talks to his wife, and finally tells her, "I've been communicating with her upstairs." Mildred says, "I see." He says Mildred never had an admirer. She says, "I never said I had. You jumped to that conclusion."
He teases her until she starts to cry. He feels bad but expresses it as telling her not to start the waterworks. Then they bicker. When he says he's given her the best years of his life, she thunders, "The best years?!? What are the rest gonna be like?" He leaves again.
A wonderful slut: Upstairs, Jo says maybe Bernard's wife doesn't understand him. Chrissy says they've got twins, so she must've understood something.
Robin notices that Jo didn't do a very good job dusting. She says dust is nature's way of telling you to move about occasionally. In yet another of the show's variations on "make somebody a wonderful wife someday," he tells her she'll make somebody a wonderful slut someday, in the sense of a slattern, or slob. (Bridget Jones calls herself a slut, although she means it in the slob sense.)
He answers the phone. The caller wants to speak to Chrissy. He says she doesn't know him but his name is Alan. She doesn't know any Alan. Robin says, "Then his story's true." When we cut to the caller, we can see it's the blond with glasses. He's calling from the pub.
Chrissy asks questions which Robin has to relay. At one point, Robin does Quasimodo again. Alan says he saw Chrissy once or twice at the White Swan. He didn't want to talk to her since she was with friends, including a rather scruffy type in a striped jersey. (I laughed heartily at this.) Alan is worried the man might be her boyfriend, but Robin says he's not, he just has a room here. He invites Alan round in half an hour, to give Chrissy time to put in her teeth and take out her curlers.
Violets: Downstairs, George returns with a little bouquet of violets. Mildred is touched. He tells her to not get emotional, and it's waterworks either way. Then she sees the little card: "To Granny, Rest in Peace." She's furious.
Kazoomski: As you'll recall, the Amer-trio are deliberately going to the local pub to see SA, rather than him just happening to be there in the background. The pub is almost empty, but there is an unremarkable-looking guy at the bar. Jack suggests Chrissy go over there. She sarcastically asks if she's supposed to ask the guy for a handwriting sample.
Jack tells her to think, but when she tries, he says, no, that might take too long. He says she should go over and start a conversation. Janet encourages her to go. So Chrissy awkwardly saunters over.
Jim the Bartender greets her and apologizes for it being dead tonight. She says she likes it quiet, since it's easier to share secrets. The guy says, "Hi, Chrissy." She's very happy. He introduces himself as Brad. He offers her some clam dip, but he also offers her a dip in his hot tub. She realizes this isn't SA. He admits he knows her name because he heard the bartender call her Chrissy. She puts his hand in the dip and goes back to the trio's booth.
"Oh, boy, Jack. The next time I listen to one of your dumb ideas, I hope I'm not around to hear it." He tells her she'd better start apologizing, and he points out a young, good-looking blond guy who's just come in. Janet exclaims, "Kazoomski!" The guy doesn't work in Chrissy's office, but she wishes he did.
Jim has a message for Phil Durkin. That's this guy. Jim says Barbara said she'll be a little late.
Phil sees the trio looking at him, so as a reflex he smiles. He goes over to the center table. Jack and Janet again encourage Chrissy. Jack recommends she use one of the lines guys use on her, "but leave out the part where you slap him."
She nervously goes over, then cheerfuly says hi. She tries the line "Sure is crowded in here," despite it being inapplicable. She asks to share his table. He says she can for a little bit.
She says they should just put their cards on the table.
Chrissy: Are you my admirer?
Phil: Admirer? Oh, yeah, oh, you bet you.
She thinks they should get acquainted. He asks if she always meets fellows like this. She says only when she puts an invitation on the bulletin board.
Barbara comes in and looks p.o.ed. She mentions Phil sending her a note about meeting that night. Chrissy says, "His note? He's been leaving them on your desk, too? What are you? Some kind of pen pal sex maniac?"
She's crushed to learn he's not SA. Barbara says, "Try the bar on the corner, Honey. Over there, you gotta beat 'em off with a stick." Chrissy goes back to the booth and says she could kill Jack.
Answer to my dreams: In the next scene, the trio are in different outfits and it turns out to be the evening of the next day. Chrissy comes in very happy. SA saw her sitting with "the dippy guy" (ha ha, pun), so he left, but she got another note saying he's going to stop by her place tonight. She bought a new blouse and she thinks this guy might be the anwer to her dreams. Jack and Janet go awww.
Over in London, Chrissy brushes her hair in the mirror. She's changed into a nice dress. Robin wonders why she's dollying herself up if she's going to hide in the kitchen. She says she might come out once she sees what he looks like. If he's ugly, Robin will need to tell him she's emigrated, to New Zealand. Both girls hide in the kitchen when Alan arrives.
Robin introduces himself as "the scruffy type in the striped jersey." But he tells Alan to sit down. Alan is nervous, and it doesn't help when Robin tells him that Chrissy is spying from the ktichen.
When the doorbell rings in California, Jack answers it. This SA is a short man in bow tie and a suit. He also wears glasses and he's holding a potted plant. He introduces himself as Gilbert Larwin. Jack invites him to sit down, but he trips and the plant goes flying, Jack catching it. And we break for commercials.
Alan starts to say he's only been in London a couple of somethings, months presumably. He doesn't know many people. When he asks about Robin sharing with Chrissy, Robin says, "Only the bills." Alan is relieved. He saw Chrissy's name on the bell-push. She's one of the most attractive girls he's ever seen. Chrissy tells Jo, "I like him."
Yoo-hoo: We pick up where we left off on 3'sC. Janet helps Gilbert up. They have him sit down and talk. He's a newspaper man, not a writer but a seller.
Jack accidentally introduces him to Chrissy as Mr. Larva. Gilbert corrects him. Chrissy says it's nice to finally meet him. They shake hands for a long time. Jack and Janet excuse themselves to the kitchen.
Gilbert says he sees Chrissy twice a day. He works at the newstand in her office building. She says she never stops there. He says he's had a paper waiting for her every day for three years. She says they must be piling up.
He tells her that he's always wanted to call out to her, "Yoo-hoo, Beautiful Lady!" He sounds a bit like Jerry Lewis, and we cut to the kitchen where Jack tells Janet that that wasn't Gilbert's mating call. She says that Chrissy is too nice to hurt Gilbert's feelings and they need to think of something.
He tells her to go tell Larry to come down to pick up Chrissy for their date. She says Larry doesn't have a date with Chrissy. He says, "It's finally happened. You're starting to sound like her. When are you gonna start going--?" He does Chrissy's snort-laugh. Janet gets that Larry would only be pretending. Turning into a game show host, Jack says, "Johnny, let's tell her what she's won."
Back in the living room, Chrissy says she once wanted to marry a guy who sold papers. He had a paper route. She was only 10. She snort-laughs. Gilbert says he loves her laugh.
While Janet goes up to Larry's, Jack tries to separate Chrissy and Gilbert, including by looking for a pizza cutter in the couch.
Gilbert: Mom and Dad aren't gonna believe it when I get home.
Jack: I don't believe it and I'm here.
When there's someone at the door, Jack says, "I'm afraid the party's over, Gimlet." We see Janet looking exasperated. And there's Larry, with a champagne bottle and glasses. He's wearing an ascot and a robe, the latter with sparkles and horses. These are his working clothes.
Larry goes over to Chrissy, calling her Baby. He kisses her hand and wants her to follow him to passion paradise. Chrissy giggles and says he's so funny. Gilbert says, "Don't you just love her laugh?"
Larry goes back over to Jack and Janet. Jack tells him to wise up, since Chrissy is nuts. But Larry calls this the biggest challenge of his life.
He returns to Chrissy on the couch and puts her on her back.
Larry: My heart weeps for you. My soul cries out for you. Come away with me where I can kiss you, kiss you, kiss you.
Chrissy: (to Gilbert) Anyway, I was saying--
Larry is shattered. He leaves, with his champagne and glasses.
Jack asks to see Chrissy "for just a mo." They and Janet go into the kitchen. It turns out that Chrissy wants to talk to Gilbert. He's honest and warm. He's the only man she's met in months that's wanted to be with her rather than her being with him. Janet understands. Jack doesn't, but why break a habit?
Chrissy goes back to the living room. Janet says she's going to get out of her clothes and go to bed. Jack acts out tearing her clothes off. She's annoyed.
Over on MatH, things turn out very differently. When the girls come in from the kitchen, Chrissy holds out her hand and says hello. Alan shakes her hand and says hello back, but then turns to Jo and says, "Hello, Chrissy." Jo and Robin laugh together. Chrissy looks disappointed. And the episode ends there.
Worship: The next morning, Gilbert is sleeping on the couch fully clothed. He and Chrissy talked till the wee small hours. He tells Jack it's OK, he called his folks. He says Chrissy is the most wonderful girl. He just loves her, worships her. She's gentle, sweet, and kind. Jack says, "Take it easy, Giblets. I mean Jailbait. Sorry, Gilbert."
Jack says he'll go get Chrissy, and he actually goes in the girls' bedroom. He looks down at Chrissy sleeping and says, "I wonder what he sees in her." Both girls wake up and are angry that Jack's in their room.
He tells Chrissy that Gilbert fell in love with her last night. She says they didn't talk that long. Janet says some people can fall in love between traffic lights. Jack thinks Gilbert is going to ask Chrissy to marry him. Janet says Chrissy will have to disillusion Gilbert.
Jack returns to the living room, where Gilbert is folding up the blanket he borrowed and singing "I Gotta Be Me," offkey.
Chrissy emerges with messy hair and wearing a large robe and big slippers. She's cranky and bossy. She makes breakfast for Gilbert by throwing eggs in the pan, shells and all. Next she makes juice by putting a slightly squeezed orange in a glass. Then she tosses bread in the oven for toast.
He lifts his cup of orange and says he wants to propose. She runs out of the kitchen, saying she's not ready to get married. He wants to propose a toast. He doesn't want to marry her. He just wanted to meet and talk with her, and it was wonderful. She says it made her feel good, too. He asks if they can be friends. She says they are.
He has to get to work. He'll save her a paper. She offers him a kiss but he doesn't want to mess up her hair. So he shakes her hand.
After she leaves, she asks Jack and Janet what they're looking at. They think she's beautiful, on the inside. They hug and kiss her.
Cake: In the tag, Jack comes home. Janet says it was so sweet of him to bake a birthday cake for Gilbert. He says he likes Gilbert. Janet says Chrissy is decorating the cake. Jack worries because the last time Chrissy decorated a cake, it looked as if someone had been shooting at it.
Jack tries to go into the kitchen, but Chrissy tells him not to because she's trying to get the cake ready, with the box and everything. When she comes out of the room, she drops the box and falls on it. It turns out the box is empty. In return for the girls' practical joke, Jack threatens to smear icing on their hair.
Commentary: I've never really liked Jack on this episode. Yes, he has a couple sweet moments towards the end, but it doesn't make up for earlier. Not only does he make fun of Janet's looks, but he insults Chrissy's intelligence four times and he's mean to Gilbert. Yeah, OK, they're really playing up the dumb blonde angle by this point, but he doesn't have to spell it out for us.
As for Gilbert, I have a soft spot for Barry Gordon because he always played sweet little guys on tons of sitcoms, from The Danny Thomas Show through Empty Nest. I best know him from Fish and Archie Bunker's Place, where his characters were much sharper than Gilbert. He was Barry the Paperboy in the cult classic movie The Girl Can't Help It at the age of 7, and he's still working 55 years later, since he's in a new movie called Losing Control. Christopher Chittell (Alan) has also worked for decades on television He's a few months older than Barry Gordon, and apparently played a student in 1967's To Sir With Love.
Gilbert was clearly admiring longer than Alan was, having sent seven notes. Also, he's been saving a newspaper for Chrissy for three years, around the time we met her, while Alan has only been in London a couple months at most. (I doubt he was going to say a couple years.) Alan doesn't even know Jo's real name, and we don't get to know him very well compared to Gilbert, who's on almost half the episode. It's unlikely that Brit-Chrissy will want to be friends with Alan, while Amer-Chrissy and Gilbert bond through their awkwardness and innocence.
On both shows, the whole stalker issue is not addressed as it would be nowadays, although Brit-Chrissy is warier. Because both Alan and Gilbert come across as shy and harmless, and because the Chrissys don't meet up with SA alone, we're not meant to worry about their safety. It's apparently more of a problem that your SA will want to marry you, or go out with your roommate.
SA can't be Brit-Larry because he's more "wham, bam, thank you, Ma'am." We were introduced to Larry's technique with girls last episode. As for Amer-Larry, he was well-established as a ladies' man by this point in 3'sC. You have to remember that Larry didn't look quite as ridiculous three decades ago as he does now. He really was supposed to be more attractive than Gilbert.
Another SA possibility is Bernard. They dated eighteen months ago, which was before we met Chrissy. It's been long enough for him to get married and become father to twins. One of the rules of comedy is that twin babies are funnier than solo babies. Chrissy has never deliberately dated a married man before, and certainly after the mess with Lloyd, she's not going to get together with Bernard.
One possibility for Brit-Chrissy's admirer is "Old Roper," but even though he asks if she'd want him to take her out, he's not taken seriously as a possibility. The subplot with the Ropers couldn't have been used in America at this point, because they'd spun off a year earlier. There is an episode where Helen sends herself flowers to make Stanley jealous but that's not what's going on with the Brit-Ropers. MatH once again has a surprisingly poignant moment with the Ropers, this time over Mildred feeling unattracitve. It's played for laughs but there's real emotion here. In contrast, 3'sC by its fourth season is very cartoony, which makes Janet's "kazoomski" very appropriate.
There isn't much RCST in this episode, with the possibility of him being SA not being much more seriously considered than Old Roper. As on "I Won't Dance," he teases her about her love life, although she claims her little black book is innocent. Still, she's been out with enough fresh fellows that she has an abbreviation like L.H.O.T.M.
I don't know what it is about the British characters, but they can say the most conceited things, like Chrissy saying half the men in the country admire her, and get away with it. I think it's that they're so nonchalant about it, like they're not even boasting, just stating a simple fact.
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