"Did You Ever Meet Rommel?"

It is unimaginable that the eleventh episode of MatH could've been Americanized.  Its basic premise just wouldn't have worked, not with those characters.  That's not to say that it had no influence on its American cousin, but we'll get to that.

Before we get into the show proper, I want to note that the laughtrack did come back after a one-episode absence, although it's comparatively toned down.

Crossroads:  The girls enter the downstairs hallway and they're dressed for the cold, this episode having aired on 30 January 1974.  Jo says it's freezing out and her cheeks have gone all numb.  Chrissy says it serves her right for wearing a short skirt.  I'm not sure if that joke would've gotten past the American censors.

Mrs. Roper wants to return the saucy book Chrissy loaned her.  This next sequence ends up, with a few changes, on the American version of "No Children, No Dogs."  On both, Mrs. Roper has read the book quickly because she went to the pages with the corners turned down.  On MatH, Chrissy claims that was Robin's doing. 

Like on 3'sC, Mrs. Roper calls the book-loaner in to chat.  She says that she read the book in bed, which was like reading The Good Food Guide in a health farm.  (I think there was an American equivalent of this joke, but I can't remember.) 

Close to how it happens on 3'sC, Mrs. Roper says that it's her twentieth wedding anniversary tomorrow (in America, it's the day after tomorrow).  Like Janet, Chrissy asks if they'll see a show.  Instead of Baretta and Charlie's Angels, it'll be Crossroads ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crossroads_(soap_opera) ) and Hawaii Five-O, the latter an American show then at about the midpoint of its twelve-year run.  Like Stanley, George probably won't even remember their anniversary.

As in the American version of the conversation, Mrs. Roper envies the lifestyle of a young single woman, especially since boyfriends are after only one thing.

When Mr. Roper comes in, he mentions his war injury, which he got in the bath during a buzz bomb.

Like Janet, Brit-Chrissy tries hinting at the anniversary.  At first, George remembers that Saturday is special because it's Arsenal vs. Chelsea.  Chrissy even hums the wedding march, although Mildred has warned her that George is tone deaf.  He thinks it's "Happy Birthday."  Chrissy finally just tells him it's his wedding anniversary.  She invites them to dinner at her flat to celebrate.

It's interesting how the anniversary gets used in a different way than on 3'sC, where it resolves the dilemma of what to do with the puppy Larry gave Jack.  Here it starts a problem instead.

Knackwurst:  Jo doesn't want to listen to Mr. Roper's war stories, which are already established on the show as being party-killers.  She serves Chrissy some tea which she didn't stir, since she didn't put any sugar in it. 

Robin comes home with knackwurst and other Germanic foods because he's going to make dinner tomorrow for his friend Franz Wasserman.  Chrissy says he can make dinner for six, "stretch your knackwurst a bit."  (I can't see that joke making it on 3'sC.)

While Robin is out of the room, Chrissy says she thinks Franz fancies her.

Robin is unhappy that Chrissy has invited the Ropers, although not for the same reason Jo is.
Robin:  What's the one thing Mr. Roper can't stand?
Chrissy:  Mrs. Roper.
Robin:  Germans!

Jo notices how dirty their tablecloth is.

20p a go:  So the next scene is set in a laundrette, another example of them using an extra set, when 3'sC would've just recycled.  It's 20p a go for the washer.

Robin does an imitation of Mr. Roper saying something against the "Krauts." Franz is going back to Germany, so Robin can't invite him another time.  Robin wants Chrissy to cancel the Ropers.  Chrissy suggests they try to pass Franz off as Welsh.  Robin says he'll uninvite the Ropers at the pub that night.  (I guess they all go to the pub nearly every night.  It sure seems like it anyway.)

Robin wants some coffee but there's no cup at the machine, so he accidentally uses the washing powder cup, taking a sip before he realises it.  Also, it turns out that his red underpants aren't colour-fast.

Brick:  For no reason except the purposes of the joke, Robin and Chrissy bring the now streaky pink tablecloth to the pub.

Chrissy tells Jo that the 20th anniversary is china, so perhaps they should give the Ropers The Thoughts of Chairman Mao.  (Mao died two years after this episode and his most famous book was Quotations from Chairman Mao.) 

Robin plans to tell the Ropers that the girls have gone down with the Black Death, and all the chairs have been eaten by soldier ants.  Chrissy says why not be subtle and brick up the stairs.

When Mrs. Roper sits at their table, Robin tells her that Chrissy has something to tell her.  Chrissy says Robin has all the details.  He says, "You got anything to say, Jo?"  She shakes her head.

Mrs. Roper says that last anniversary was tea, telly, and George cutting his toenails.  Robin can't hurt her feelings, so he says it'll be 7.30 for 8, which I think means arrive at 7.30 for an eight o'clock dinner.  When George hears the time, he says they'll catch Crossroads but miss Hawaii Five-O. 

We find out that the Ropers became engaged during the war, which confirms the chronology offered on "And Then There Were Two."  Mildred now says, "What with the blackout and the gas mask,  I didn't quite know what I was getting."

George reminisces about the one man standing between them and the Krauts/Huns:  Tommy Handley.  ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tommy_Handley )  Chrissy says the Germans are our friends now.  He says they're all Nazis.  Robin quietly asks Chrissy, "How long would it take to brick up the stairs?"

Cufflinks:  Robin again wears his "underwear" apron and the audience again is amused.  He's working from a book called German Cooking.  Jo says that "simmer my giblets" sounds like a pirate's curse.  He agrees and does a pirate imitation.  He's cheered up since the evening might not be so bad.

He tells her to pull the wine cork, not push it.  She says he has no faith in her.

Chrissy comes home.  She's been out buying perfume for Mrs. Roper, cufflinks for Mr. Roper, the latter with "bloodstones to match his eyeballs."  She says Robin has a nicer box to put them in.  She goes in the kitchen to ask him about it.
Chrissy:  Robin, you know that red velvet thingy you keep your whatsits in?
Robin:  What, when I'm playing rugby?
Chrissy:  The little box, from Bond Street.
(Another joke that wouldn't have made it past the American censors.)

She hands him the cufflinks to put in the box.  He takes them but keeps preparing dinner.

Downstairs, the Ropers are dressing up, she with a mirror whose crack is unexplained.  He has back pain.  She says there's nothing wrong with his back, and she should know, she sees enough of it in bed.  She calls him a hypochondriac.  He says even hypochondriacs can get sick.

Did You Ever Meet Rommel?:  The girls met Franz at the Student Union dance.  Jo says he made an improper suggestion to her, but it was all in German.  You might think that it's being set up that Franz will chat up one or both of the girls when he arrives, but no, this episode is just offering examples of how confident these two are about their sex appeal, in contrast to Amer-Chrissy and Janet, who always seem insecure about their abilities to attract men.

Robin is deeply offended when Jo calls his food nosh.  Chrissy asks if he's going to warn the Ropers that he's invited a German.  He says no, but he does when they arrive.  Mr. Roper says he has nothing against Germans himself.  "I mean, they do a good binocular, don't they?"  And it's not Franz's fault he's a Kraut.

Meanwhile, Jo can find only one cufflink in the kitchen.  (You saw this coming, right?)

Franz arrives and introductions are made.  Franz waves hello.  George almost does the Nazi salute in return, but stops himself. 

Jo, in close-up, says, "Excuse me, I'm just going to find the missing link," and no one even reacts, as if they're used to her occasional dippiness.

Mr. Roper asks Franz if he's seen The World at War, a very topical reference, since the 26-episode program started airing the previous October.  ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_World_at_War )  Franz says that it started well, but he didn't like the ending.  He couldn't have seen the ending, since that didn't air till 8 May, but it works for the joke.

Chrissy seats Mr. Roper away from Franz, but Mr. Roper keeps asking inappropriate questions.  It turns out that Franz's father bombed London once or twice.  George asks if he was ever over Putney on a Monday, bath night.  Franz says if he was, he never mentioned it.

In the kitchen, Chrissy wonders if the cufflink got in the food.  Robin says he's not that stupid.

George says not all the Germans were Nazis.  Rommel was practically on their side.  ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rommel )  Franz remarks, "No doubt he played secret cricket."  George asks the title question, and no, Franz didn't.  (Rommel died almost 30 years before this episode.)  Franz asks, and George never met him either.  George was in the Home Guard ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Home_Guard_(United_Kingdom) ), defending the women, mostly from the flaming Yanks.  (I wonder what he thought about Mildred's big buck sergeant.)

Franz, who's been enjoying the food, despite Mr. Roper's company, finds the cufflink on his plate.  Robin says it's an old German custom on wedding anniversaries, to hide a present in the food.  Franz is surprised but then plays along.  Mrs. Roper says, "Well, a good job it wasn't a set of blankets."

Doctor:  There's a time lapse, so it's sort of like a new scene, although all six people are still at the dinner table.  Mr. Roper is gloating about England beating Germany in the World Cup match, although Germany won the next year. 

Franz, getting to his feet after a bit, says, "If you had let us crush Poland in 1939, you might've won zis World Cup.  Sieg Heil!"  He does the salute and puts two fingers of his other hand under his nose to suggest a Hitler moustache.  Everyone's too stunned to say anything.  Franz says this is how Mr. Roper expects all Germans to behave. 

George says Hitler had his good points and names a few, like keeping Russia in line.  Franz calls him a bloody Fascist. 

Then we learn that Franz has passed his exams and become a doctor.  George brightens at this and wants a free back examination.  Chrissy starts to explain that Franz isn't that kind of doctor, but Franz says he doesn't mind.  Calling Jo "Josephine," he asks for several items, among them castor oil, a large funnel, a small hammer, and plaster of paris.

Chrissy and Robin decide not to mention that Franz is a doctor of philosophy.

Commentary:  Although there were bigots on 1970s American television, Archie Bunker being the most prominent, it would've been unusual to have someone who was only prejudiced against Germans (and homosexuals).  And trying to pass Franz off as Welsh wouldn't have made any sense.  I also don't think the Chairman Mao joke would've made it, because MatH's mild political humour would've been too much for 3'sC.   

A couple other things about this episode.  By now, they're really capitalising on Richard O'Sullivan's comedic talents, as 3'sC is with John Ritter's physical humor.  Richard O gets a bit of physical humour, but mostly it's things like his imitations and whimsical lines like the one about the soldier ants.

Franz is not played by a German.  Dennis Waterman was born in Clapham in 1948, yes, too young to have met Rommel.  "Wasserman" is clearly the Anglicised version of his last name.

And lastly, Jo's cookery is now apparently so bad that she can't even manage serving tea or wine.