The Americans took their sweet time getting around to adapting the 16th episode of MatH, waiting till the penultimate episode of the sixth season of 3'sC. It was worth the wait though, and in fact was John Ritter's favorite episode. "I Won't Dance, Don't Ask Me" aired 23 October 1974, while "Up in the Air" appeared almost eight years later, on May 4, 1982. The latter placed #5 in the ratings. And it is a "Janet" plot, but Amer-Chrissy had left the show by then and it fits Janet better than it would Terri. In fact, Terri isn't in the episode much, although she has her minor role to play. The majority of the episode is set outside the apartment, but we'll get to that.
Goldie Hawn and Cheetah: When the British girls come home, Jo is rabbiting on about clothes. Chrissy admits she isn't listening. Their company is having a staff dance. Chrissy wants to go with Peter, but he's going with another girl. Chrissy's second choice, Steve, asked Jo.
Robin comes home with hot pot (stew), presumably made at school. He goes in the kitchen.
Jo suggests Chrissy ask Ginger the office boy, but he's only 4'6".
Meanwhile, Terri is lying on the couch, reading. Jack comes home from a lousy day. Terri tells him about her book, Hold Fast My Heart, which features a Jesuit priest, Father Lance, who gives up his true love to work among the down and out. Jack reads a bit and sees the phrase "the human refuse cast upon the shores of society." He sarcastically exclaims, "Oo, I can't wait to see the movie!"
While Jack's in the kitchen, Janet comes home. She had a bad day, too. She says, "If I felt any better, I'd go throw myself under a truck." David, the dreamboat she met at her flower shop, the one who let her drive his Ferrari, today invited her to a formal party at his weekend home. Unfortunately, he told her to bring a date.
Chrissy goes in the kitchen and tells Robin she might be able to arrange for him to go out with his favourite girl. He says, "You have influence with Goldie Hawn?" She tells him she means herself. He points out, "For months I've been asking you out. You always say we mustn't get involved, we share the same flat."
Janet really likes David. Terri suggests she make him jealous. Janet says that would be childish and immature, hence, "I like that."
Terri: Be sure to invite someone who's really sexy and gorgeous.
Janet: Do you know anybody like that?
Under the Lenny & Squiggy Rule of American sitcoms, Jack comes in, eating a banana, not unlike Robin in the British credits. It takes Janet a little while to say, "What about Cheetah here?" Terri thinks he's better than nothing. They examine him, Terri even tapping his teeth, to his confusion.
Chrissy explains to Robin that she's inviting him to the staff annual dance on Saturday. She'll pay for the tickets, 3 pound 50. He says there are times when women's lib makes sense. He asks if she'll buy him some chocolates as well. She says, "I might, if you let me get you in a shop door afterwards." He giggles girlishly. Then, leaning in the doorway after she's gone back to the lounge, he says, "I knew it, you just want my body, don't you?" She says, "Well, I haven't quite decided, but bring it with you, just in case."
Janet: I've been invited to this really formal party Saturday night and I want you to be my date.
Jack: (embracing her with the hand that's not holding his banana) Oh, Janet, after all these years, you've finally come around.
Janet: (pulling away and patting his shoulder) Easy, Jack, I just need you as a decoy for David.
Terri explains about the jealousy thing. Jack cries, "Oh, I feel so used!"
Jo tells Robin he's not Chrissy's first choice, or second. Robin asks Chrissy, "You sure old Roper didn't turn you down as well?" She says she didn't want to go with one of those smooth types from work. He says, "You fancied a bit of rough."
Janet begs Jack. She says she'd help him if he needed her for anything. So he starts to whisper what he needs. She hits him and then begs some more, till he agrees to go to the party.
Complications: Then Robin finds out that the dancing at the staff dance will be strict tempo, with the waltz. The girls think he can't dance.
Robin: Listen, I can move it about with the best of them.
Chrissy: You're not supposed to move it about in strict tempo. You're supposed to keep it still.
When Chrissy's out of the room, Jo says that there'll be the hokey-cokey as well. "That's the one where you put it in and shake it all about." Robin grins and says, "Yeah, yeah, that sounds more like it."
He asks about Peter. Jo says he's the assistant managing dreamboat, tall, good-looking, and a smashing dancer.
None of their records are strict tempo. You can't foxtrot to Tony Hancock and "The Blood Donor" (apparently a fondly remembered 1961 episode of Mr. Hancock's comedy show). Robin says he'll go down to the Ropers to borrow some records.
Jack has a more serious problem. David's weekend home is just off the coast on a little island, and the guests will be arriving on a single-engine private plane.
Janet and Terri go to their room, talking about going shopping for an outfit for Janet to wear to the party. Larry drops by. (By this point, Amer-Larry is a regular and has been in the opening credits for a couple of years.) Jack wants Larry to go in his place, but Larry has plans. Jack says he doesn't have a tux. When Larry suggests Jack rent one, Jack exclaims, "If you don't have anything helpful to say, why don't you just shut your mouth?"
He confesses to Larry that he's afraid to fly, and has never flown before. (Remember, his parents live in San Diego, so he just drives down to see them. And I guess he never flew in the Navy.)
Larry has Jack sit in a chair as Larry dramatizes the flight. Jack says the bumpy ride is "like riding in one of your used cars." When Larry leans the chair back, Jack panics and bails at 4000 feet.
He's so upset he whimpers. Larry offers Jack his tranquilizers, which he needs as a used car salesman. Terri returns as Larry goes upstairs to get the tranquilizers. When Jack admits about the pills, asking her not to tell Janet, Terri is very concerned. She's a nurse and she knows how dangerous it can be to take drugs that aren't prescribed for you. She makes him promise he won't take one.
Larry returns when Terri's out of the room. He tosses Jack the bottle. Jack says, "I'll take two." And we cut to a commercial.
It's all set up for Jack and Janet to go to the party, and indeed almost all of the rest of the episode takes place at David's weekend home. But MatH has some more set-up to do.
Tango: Downstairs at the Ropers', Mildred is reading Hold Fast My Heart. When Robin comes by, she tells him it's "all about this young Jesuit priest who looks after all the down-and-outs," the "human refuse cast upon the shores of society."
When Robin wants to borrow records, she says she has no modern stuff, not even Victor Silvester ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victor_Silvester ). It turns out that Robin has never heard of Guy Lombardo. (How is that possible? Hell, I'd probably heard of Guy Lombardo in 1974.) He has heard of Dennis Lotis ( http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0521471/ ) and Lita Roza ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lita_Roza ).
She has him move the coffee table and she teaches him to dance. When she tells him what to do with his left foot, he says, "Which left foot? I've got two, you see." At first, he mirrors what she's doing. Then she has him do touch-dancing. He asks where Mr. Roper is. George is at the British Legion ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British_legion ). She says Robin is stiff as a poker, no, not in that sense.
George comes home. He's mildly surprised, not at all jealous, to see them dancing. He says he used to love the tango himself. They used to clear the floor when he danced. She says they had to, "Proper little dodge 'em car you were." She has him tango with her. "Come on, George, you pretend to be the man."
Robin leaves but they don't notice because they're too into their dance. Mildred dips George and says, "Ha ha! You've still got it, you little devil!" He whimpers. They disappear from view, so when Robin pokes his head in the door, we're not quite sure why he looks amused and then shocked.
Ginger Rogers: We next see Robin practising dancing, with a book, as Jo looks on. When Chrissy comes home, he tells her it'd be easier if he had one black foot and one white (to match the diagrams). He's figured out he needs three feet for the reverse turn. Chrissy says, "What about the poor girl? We have to do it backwards." (No, she doesn't say "in heels.")
Jo notices that Chrissy has bought a green dress, Peter's favourite colour. Robin says he prefers Chrissy in green. She tells him, "Well, hard luck." Jo tells her not to take it out on Robin, who's been practising hard all day. Jo has never heard such foul language.
He has Jo put a record on. He dances with Chrissy, his hand on her bottom at first. When they're done, she says she appreciates him taking this trouble to learn. But she wants him to get a haircut.
Mr. Roper comes by and wants to sell Robin his old dinner jacket. Robin didn't know the dance is black tie. He now refuses to go, and this is where we break for adverts.
How could he lose?: When we return though, he comes out of his room in a dinner jacket in bad condition. Mr. Roper says it was nine quid originally. Mrs. Roper comes in as her husband says Robin can have the whole thing for four quid, including the celluloid dickey (the white piece that's curling up). She scolds him. She's thrown the dinner jacket out twice. She tells Robin he looks ridiculous and he should take it off, which he gratefully does. (I've lost track of the number times Robin has some reason to partially strip off.)
Mildred returns the book to Chrissy. She enjoyed it so much she cried. Chrissy says she didn't get beyond the first chapter. As soon as she saw a row of asterisks (meaning something sexual that was omitted), she went right off it. Mildred used her imagination.
She says it's about a young Jesuit priest who wrestles with himself and finally wins. Jo asks, "How could he lose?" The priest gives up the girl because of his love for all men. Robin says, "Yes, I know the type," and makes a "queen" face.
George says he might come down to three quid, maybe even down to two quid. Mildred says, "You'll come down to the bin and throw it out."
After the Ropers leave, Robin says he can't go because he has no penguin suit. Chrissy says, "Wrong."
Liquorice allsort: It's Saturday night and the trio are getting ready, Jo in Chrissy's gold earrings that she borrowed without asking first. Chrissy is wearing a lowcut yellow dress, possibly the one from "When the Cat's Away."
Robin enters in black tie. Jo says, "Oh, who's the pretty boy then," like he's a puppy or a budgie. He says, "Don't you start." He tells Chrissy he feels like a penguin, and a liquorice allsort. He plans to tell everyone at the dance that the tux is hired, so they won't think he dresses like this all the time. She of course doesn't want that. And she nags him about whether or not he got a haircut. Jo says, "Listen, you two don't have to argue. You're not married."
Robin admits that the outfit does give a sophisticated feeling. Then Chrissy tells him don't have too much to drink, don't use any bad language, and don't tell any of his awful jokes. "Just enjoy yourself."
Something to gossip about: When the trio and Steve come into the club where the staff dance is being held, we see that Jo's dress is backless except for gold chains. With her hair up, she looks very sophisticated.
The Ambrose Quilby Four, as themselves, are providing music. (Their only screen appearance.) This is in contrast to David's party, where the music is provided by unseen musicians (radio? stereo?) and will change willy-nilly.
Guests are dressed formally at both places, perhaps even more formally on 3'sC, because it's the '80s and because David and his friends are rich. (It's hard to judge since some of the fashions are horrible, as suits both decades, and I can't tell what's supposed to be high-end.)
The club that the firm has hired is rather generic, tables and a bit of space to dance. David's living room (the main part of his house we see, although there are some visits to the patio) is posh but warm, with red and brown tones, plants, and modern art on the walls. We get to see it before Jack and Janet arrive, and this sets up two important points for the plot. There's an older couple that the end credits identify as the Peabodys. Mrs. Peabody says, "David, I was just telling your sister Nancy that this is a lovely party." Now, nobody talks like that. You'd either say "your sister" or "Nancy," not both. Unless you're on a farce and you want to let the audience in on things. Mrs. Peabody is played by Gertrude Flynn, who was on everything from The Twilight Zone to Growing Pains. Paul Marin plays her husband, who will have less to do but still have his moment, and he has a similar resume, ranging from The Untouchables to Ellen.
Nancy is a pretty blonde in a red gown with sparkles. She's played by Lauree Berger, who did a few other guest shots, mostly in the 1980s. David is in black tie and played by none other than Barry Williams, AKA Greg Brady! Barry was 27 at the time and had already done two Brady reunion shows, although he'd mostly switched to musical theater by then. (And Greg Brady had become an obstetrician.)
When the doorbell rings, the maid answers. We learn in the credits that she's named Bridget, a pretty stereotypical name for a maid, but the actress is named Dean Taliaferro, much more unuusal. Dean has only one other credit on IMDB, as a bank customer in 1981's Pennies from Heaven.
Janet is wearing a long blue off-the-shoulder dress with poofy sleves, as well as a pearl necklace. Jack is in a tux. She observes that he's mellow tonight. He says he took a tranquilizer. She's understandably worried. She stops him from taking a drink from the maid. As Bridget walks away, Jack puns, "Maid to order." Janet warns him that tranquilizers and liquor don't mix.
Meanwhile, Robin doesn't understand how coat check works, that you're supposed to tip afterwards. Jo notices that Robin and Chrissy have been assigned a separate table from her. They'll be with Marjorie and Denise, whom Chrissy calls the firm's jungle drums. Robin tells Chrissy, "Let's give them something to gossip about, eh?" Chrissy says that both girls will be with their boyfriends, one an architect, the other a chartered accountant. She doesn't want Robin to let on he's only a cookery student.
Jack observes, "Look at this crowd. You can almost smell the money." He wants to invite some of them to Angelino's, the restaurant where he works. (True to his statement on the pilot, he indeed graduated from cooking school in 1980.) Janet doesn't want him to tell anyone he's a chef, in order to make a good impresson. She asks if he understands. He says, "Of course, Punkin....You're ashamed of me."
When they walk down the wide set of stairs to the living room, he keeps descending. You'd think Janet would be more worried about that than what he does for a living.
You must be so proud: Robin and Chrissy go over to their table. They sit with Chrissy's coworkers, as well as Nigel the architect and Stuart the chartered accountant. Nigel is played by John Colclough, who will return to MatH as Ted.
One girl cattily says, "I do like your dress, Chrissy. Such a saving if you're handy with a sewing machine." Chrissy says something catty back but I don't quite catch it.
The men ask Robin if he plays tennis or squash, but he says he has no time in his line of businesss, Jesuit priest. Chrissy almost does a spit take when she hears that. He says he works among the down-and-outs, the human refuse cast upon the shores of society. The other girl notices that he's not wearing "a dog collar." He says she's thinking of the Dominicans. Robin talks about what he does for the poor.
When the other two couples are dancing, Chrissy says she could murder him. She snaps, "Don't you dare tell anyone else you're a Jesuit priest!" So when Peter comes over, Robin says, Bless you, My Son," but then says he's a brain surgeon who helps the flotsam cast upon the the shores of society. Peter asks Chrissy to dance, and they leave while Robin's still talking.
Chrissy asks if Peter's girlfriend will mind. He says that's his sister, who's staying for a fortnight. He asks if her boyfriend will mind. "Oh, it makes no difference to him. He's a Jesuit priest." (Jesuit priests do take a vow of celibacy, but Robin's right that they don't have an official habit.)
David and Nancy come over to welcome Jack and Janet. David kisses her hand. She says Jack wanted to go to Acapulco for the weekend, but she persuaded him to come here instead. He's "the Jack Tripper."
David: I'm David Winthrop. This is Nancy. Nancy is--
Jack: Very beautiful. How do you do?"
While looking at Nancy, Jack kisses David's hand. David pulls his hand away.
Then Janet pulls all of Jack away, to remind him he's supposed to be with her. When they go back, he says that Janet is really something. Then he sweeps her down for a kiss. She hits him to make him stop. She says, "Sometimes he can't help himself." Somewhat angrily, David says, "Looks like he just did."
Nancy excuses herself. David takes Jack and Janet to meet two of the guests. Mark is in banking and Robert's an investment counselor. David leaves Jack and Janet with them. Mark is played by Rick Edwards, who would go on to star in Santa Barbara. He seems to be the blond man here. Robert is played by Thom Fleming, who a couple years later competed on Star Search.
Loopy Jack waves his hands and then mimes a tennis serve. Robert asks if Jack plays tennis. Jack says he doesn't have much chance to play in his line of work. Janet does do a spit take when he says he's a Jesuit priest.
A couple strolls by, arm in arm. Jack asks, "Is this your first time on The Love Boat?" This is particularly funny because John Ritter had appeared on The Love Boat himself and would return a year after this episode. (Priscilla Barnes, AKA Terri, did three guest shots, five if you count two-parters, mostly after 3'sC. Richard Kline, AKA Larry, did four episodes. Audra Lindley did an impressive eight, with a couple two-parters. Middle-blonde-roommate Jenilee Harrison did five, counting a two-parter. Post-Ropers landlord Don Knotts did two. Norman Fell and Joyce DeWitt each did one. And Suzanne Somers did one back in '77, when both LB and 3'sC were very new.) LB was also an ABC show, and it ran three years past 3'sC. The Pacific Princess would sail between L.A. and Acapulco, very appropriate.
Janet glares at Jack and says she's going to kill him. David returns and asks if they're having fun. Janet says they always have fun when they're together. Jack sings, "And we'll have fun fun fun till her--", moving into falsetto for the fun's. Janet elbows his stomach to get him to stop singing.
David notices that Jack doesn't have a drink. Jack says he can't. David says, "Teetotaller?" Jack says, "No, brain surgeon." He's got surgery tomorrow at 5 a.m.
Janet asks to see the rest of the house. David escorts her across the living room. Jack talks about how he does most of his work among the down and out. Janet glares at him over her shoulder. Jack yawns.
Over on MatH, there's a dissolve and the men are now all wearing party hats, white bowlers with colourful geometric shapes. Robin asks Jo to dance but, despite her encouragement earlier, she says he's a rotten dancer. He says at least she's honest, "I hate that in a woman." She says he can't turn and they'd plow straight through the band. He says someone should.
Peter returns Chrissy. Robin says to her, "You will save me one dance, will you? Even if it's only 'God Save the Queen.' " (Wikipedia says, "Until the latter part of the 20th century, theatre and concert goers were expected to stand to attention while the anthem was played after the conclusion of a show.") She apologises for leaving him on his own.
He says he wasn't, he was talking to "this big fat lady in pink." Then of course we see the lady. The end credits call her Mrs. James, and Peggy Ann Clifford has credits going back to 1944 and in fact played a fat prospective bride in Kind Hearts and Coronets (1949). At least her character gets a name here, rather than "Large Lady in Station Crowd," "Fat Lady," and similar roles. Mrs. James says, "You must be so proud of him. So young to be a member of Parliament. And all that work among the down and out."
David and Janet step out onto the patio. We see potted plants and a railing. She says it's really pretty. "And, um, Nancy is certainly pretty." He says, "I may be prejudiced, but I think she's beautiful." We can see the hurt and disappointment in her face. She says she should be getting back to Jack. David is confused since they just left Jack. She says Jack gets insanely jealous when she's out of his sight.
Jack is now reclining on the sofa. Nancy comes over as Janet steps back into the room. Jack is happy to see Nancy, but Janet snuggles up against him.
Janet: Did you miss me, Honey?
Jack: When?
Janet pretends he's kidding. Nancy excuses herself again.
The Peabodys come over. Mrs. Peabody tells Janet, "You must be so proud of your man. So young to be a Congressman." Janet looks ticked off. Jack feigns modesty. After the Peabodys leave, Jack says, just barely audible under the laughter, "Well, I feel that America is in a transition now." (Reagan had been elected a year-and-a-half before this episode aired, and America was indeed in transition. Ironically, in '79 John Ritter played a presciently Clintonian president in the fascinating box office bomb Americathon, set in 1998.)
Janet yanks Jack by his jacket and threatens, "Listen, Congressman. You do one more thing to embarrass me tonight and I will never speak to you again." He asks, "Does that mean you won't vote for me?" She stomps off.
I will dance: Then we get a whole sequence that has absolutely no counterpart on MatH. Jack tries to stand up but he falls, twice. Mark asks, "Say, what's the matter, Father?" Jack replies, "Just a little groggy, My Son, but nothing to worry about." Mark hands Jack his own special pick-me-up, the Rocket. "One sip of this and you blast off." Jack is reluctant at first, then he says he'll have maybe just a sip. He of course downs most of it.
The Rocket kicks in as he's yawning. His eyes and mouth go wide, like he's on fire. Then his eyes cross and his head shakes. He takes several hors d'oeuvres off the tray the maid brings by, pocketing them for later. Then he takes the tray. What Chris Mann in Come and Knock on Our Door describes as "a medley of show tunes and funk music" comes on from the unseen source. Jack throws hors d'oeuvres at the other guests.
He bumps into Janet. He cries, "Janet, My Love!" and smooches her. She again hits him.
Janet: Have you seen the patio?
Jack: Why? Is there one missing?
Janet: (as she tugs him across the floor) Your brains are.
Out on the patio, Jack gets down with the music. Then he tries to dance with both Janet and Mrs. Peabody, the latter surprisingly cooperative. When Jack spins Janet out and says, "Work with me, Janet!", she scolds, "No, stop!" He says, "I can't! I got the music in me. Strut with me, Mama!", and dances Mrs. Peabody back into the living room. (The last part of the line was apparently Ritter's ad-lib.) Mrs. Peabody accidentally knocks the toupee off her husband's head. Jack pets it and calls it Kitty.
When the music shifts into a '30s tune of the "Putting on the Ritz" type, Jack dances across the floor, including with Brigitte. He kisses her and she wipes off her mouth, although she doesn't stop dancing. He gets up on a small table and dances with a tap-shoe sound. He also kisses and dances with a lamp.
The medley switches to drums, so Jack dances on the bar. He falls, taking a plant with him. He emerges with the plant on his head, a la Carmen Miranda. He shakes a drink-mixer in time with the maracas. He reclines on the bar and then dances around some more, including up the stairs, sliding down the banister.
He takes the toupee, puts it on the plant, and then puts the plant on Mr. Peabody's head. He takes Mr. Peabody's cane and dances upstairs, to the '30s tune again. He tosses another plant out of its wicker basket and puts the basket on as a hat. He dances down the stairs. He runs across the room, jumps onto a chair, and falls over. The audience is going crazy with laughter and applause the entire three minutes.
Sister: I don't notice David during the sequence, although I see Nancy. (It's hard to watch anyone but John Ritter when he's doing a show-stopper.) David now goes out to Janet on the patio. Yes, Janet has missed the entire spectacle, which is probably just as well, considering how embarrased she would be. David says nothing about what Jack has just done and instead asks her to dance. She asks if Nancy would mind. He says, "Why would my sister mind?" Janet is surprised and pleased to find out that Nancy is his sister.
David: Didn't I tell you she was my sister when I introduced you?
Janet: No!
David: Oh, that's right. Your boyfriend wouldn't give me a chance.
Janet: I don't have a boyfriend.
They move in for a kiss, but the camera cuts away, darn it.
Peter brings over his "kid sister" Maddie and then he dances with Chrissy again. Maddie says, "Looks as though I've been dumped on you." Robin now looks at her and smiles, seeing she's a pretty brunette. She doesn't dance to "this stuff." She feels like a fish out of water. He says, "Meet a penguin."
They have something else in common. She's a student of Domestic Science. He says he's a cookery student, third year. He invites her over to see his recipes.
Meanwhile, Jack is sitting on the sofa, his head in his hands. Nancy comes over and wipes his brow with a wet towel. He says he feels so ashamed. She says he's like a breath of fresh air. "My brother's parties are always so full of phonies." He's surprised and pleased to find out that David is her brother.
He wants to talk about her. She's a Home Ec teacher. He happily tells her he's a chef.
And then David comes over.
David: Dr. Tripper, I thought you had surgery in the morning.
Nancy: Doctor?
David: Man's a brain surgeon. Well, I must be getting back to Janet.
Then Mrs. Peabody wants to talk to the Congressman. Nancy says he just told her he's a chef. She thinks he says anything to get what he wants.
Things unravel on MatH, too. Robin is called a Jesuit priest, a brain surgeon, and a member of Parliament. Maddie thinks he's a compulsive liar.
Robin: But I am a cookery student!
Mrs. James: How do you fit that in with your Parliamentary duties?
Jack: I really am a chef!
Mrs. Peabody: How do you fit that in with all your Congressional work?
Robin says he was hired from an escort agency, Rent-a-Bloke, 50p an hour. (Ten pence more than Jo makes babysitting.) He gives up and goes home.
Nancy joins Janet and David on the patio, where they're holding the drinks that David brought out.
Janet: I heard you've been talking to Jack.
Nancy: Oh, you mean Jack-of-all-trades?
Janet admits that Jack is a chef. So Nancy says she's going "back to the chef." Shimmying her shoulders, she says, "We're gonna cook."
Nancy apologizes to Jack for not believing him. He suggests a long walk on the beach. But he falls asleep with his head on her shoulder.
That's what it's all about: The next morning, we find out that Jo got back at 1. Chrissy isn't in yet. Robin is amused, and Jo says he has a nasty, suspicious mind. Chrissy comes in, carrying a milk bottle and wearing last night's outfit.
Robin says, "If you want to spend the whole night with this Peter, it's entirely up to you." She did spend it with Peter, in outpatients. "He wrenched it as he was shaking it all about in the Hokey-Cokey." Peter's "it" is his ankle.
When Janet gets home, Terri is asleep on the couch with her book. She wakes up and asks Janet about the party. Janet says David's date was his sister. Terri is happy for Janet. Then the girls help get a still groggy Jack into the apartment. When he finds out it's 4:30, he worries, "Oh my God! I've got brain surgery at 5!" He runs into the door and passes out on the floor.
Commentary: Although I've tagged this for RCST, it is fairly mild compared to some episodes. We do have Robin joking that Chrissy only wants his body, and her saying she hasn't decided, but bring it just in case. When he says she fancies a bit of rough, the implication is she wants to have sex with someone from a lower social class. Even their bickering suggests they're like a married couple. But once they're at the dance, they don't interact all that much. She distances herself from him and is much less embarrassed by him than Janet is by Jack, but then Robin doesn't do as wild things as Jack does.
It's arguable that the American show has JJST, although in their case it's been years rather than months. After all, Robin is only Chrissy's third choice for an escort, while Jack is the first person Janet thinks of when she needs a "sexy and gorgeous" date. He's joking when he implies he needs sex from her, but on the other hand I don't think he'd tell her no.
Both Chrissy and Janet get annoyed with their male roommates, to the point of threatening murder. It's obviously just a figure of speech, but I should note that Janet hits Jack a lot in this episode. To be fair, this is usually when he's kissing her against her will. (Yes, she wants to make David jealous, but not with excessive physical displays.)
The roommates' interest in the brother-and-sister pairs is more prominent than their interest in each other. It's notable that Maddie turning out to be Peter's sister is less of a big deal than the farce of Nancy being David's. On 3'sC, it's set up and drawn out, with the usual misunderstandings. It's also more important to the two potential couples when it's resolved.
We learn more about David than we do about Peter. Peter is an assistant manager, he likes the colour green, and he has a sister, that's about it. Of course, with a recognizable sitcom star, it feels like we (or at least those of us who've watched a lot of '70s sitcoms) already know David before we meet him. Not only does he get far more lines than Peter, but he is host of the party, rather than just another staff member at the dance. His wealth is part of his attraction-- note that Janet had admired Lloyd Cross's Maserati and now likes driving David's Ferrari-- but he is also considerate and charming. Unlike Lloyd, he actually is a nice guy, even putting up with Jack's shenanigans. He doesn't even mind when he finds out that Janet has lied to him. Maybe he's flattered. Certainly they have a happier ending than Chrissy and Peter.
Jack is immediately attracted to Nancy, calling her very beautiful and trying to kiss her hand. Robin is less obvious (and less drunk), but it's clear he's attracted to Maddie. Both couples are drawn together by a shared love of cooking and a shared dislike of pretension. Jack gets a second chance with Nancy, even if he does fall asleep, while Maddie never finds out that she was the one person Robin was telling the truth to. We don't see as much of Maddie as we do of Nancy, but there is chemistry between her and Robin, and I like knowing that Alison Hughes will return a couple times, as Linda. (I'm guessing she'll play Robin's girlfriend, since Linda was Jack's recurring girlfriend.)
The Amer-Ropers were long gone by this point, having been spun off onto The Ropers (based on George & Mildred). Even if they weren't, I can't imagine them tangoing, but it seems perfectly in character for the Brit-Ropers. Since Jack doesn't have fears about dancing-- quite the opposite!-- the dancing lesson doesn't need to be translated. And it's a simple matter to give Mildred's book to Terri. I like how, unlike the other spicy books Mrs. Roper reads, this one actually impacts the plots of both episodes. (I thought Hold Fast My Heart was supposed to be a Thorn Birds parody, but it turns out that that book didn't get published till three years after MatH16. The popular miniseries didn't come out till 1983.)
I suppose I should say something about money/class issues. Robin, despite being "the boss's son," in this episode at least likes to present himself as low class, "a bit of rough" who doesn't like to wear a tux. When Chrissy wants him to deny himself, by not only behaving at the dance but not admitting he's a student, he rebels by concocting not one but three fantastic careers. In Jack's case, you'd think being a chef would be respectable enough, but not at this party, or so Janet thinks. Jack is reacting to not only Janet's classism but to the combined tranquilizer(s) and alcohol. (Did he disobey Terri and take just one, or did he have two?) He rebels not just by claiming Robin's three careers (Parliament changed to Congress of course), but also by playing Fred Astaire. I like that Janet is the one to admit that Jack is a chef, although considering that Nancy is a Home Ec teacher, the Winthrops won't mind.
It is brave of Janet, since she's trying to impress a dreamboat rather than her coworkers and their boyfriends. Also, the class divide is sharper on 3'sC, where you can smell the money. An architect and a chartered accountant would be upper middle-class at most, while a banker and an investment counselor could be quite well-off, particularly in the '80s. Also, "Peabody" is a more stereotypically rich last name than "James." Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous wouldn't start airing till 1984, but already on this 3'sC episode we can see the shift from the '70s, where it was sort of cool to be working-class (or act like it), with casual clothes and a casual attitude.
Not only is dance important in these episodes, but so is song. The MatH title, with its ellipses, comes from the 1930s song "I Won't Dance." One of the lines is "Say, you know what? You're lovely," close to what Jack says to Nancy. And a line from the chorus goes, "I know that music leads to romance." It doesn't on either episode, since Mildred dances with Robin and George, neither of whom seem to want a romance with her, while Jack dances with an elderly married woman, the maid, and a lamp. Another song referenced is of course the Beach Boys' "Fun Fun Fun." There's also a quick mention of Kiki Dee's 1975 song "I Got the Music in Me." Jack's musical references tend to be either contemporary or ones that he'd have heard as a Baby Boomer growing up in the '50s and '60s. MatH, on the other hand, delights in shout-outs to entertainers and entertainment from the '30s and '40s even more than those from the '50s and '60s. The Hokey-Cokey, with all its variants of names, allegedly dates from the '40s. And of course "God Save the Queen" is even older.
The most striking contrast between these two episodes is that when Robin's had enough, he just walks out. Jack, and Janet and all the guests, are trapped on David's island until the plane returns for them. This makes Jack's outrageousness even better, and it explains Janet's stress and anger. (Well, and Janet is just very high-strung, more so as 3'sC goes on.)
Lastly, alcohol and tranquilizers don't mix! Listen to Janet, she lives with a nurse. You might end up entertaining a group of not-so-stuffy rich people and winning over a cute blonde teacher. OK, it was the cusp of the Just Say No era, but drugs were still funny. Heck, they still are under the right circumstances. As we shall see on a future pair of episodes....
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