The title of MatH34 makes it sound like this is another "marijuana episode," but it's "pot" in the sense of "kitty." The episode aired on 3 March 1976 and, yes, Jo is back. There is no real American equivalent, not even to the extent of "Three's Christmas," but there were a couple small influences, which I'll discuss at the end.
Calculating: Jo is drying dishes in the kitchen, as Robin sits at the table and plays with his new calculator. He does the square root of 123. Jo doesn't know what a square root is.
He says the calculator can answer any question, so she asks the capital of Nicaragua (pronounced Britishly, with all those syllables). He says it doesn't do geography.
He then says the calculator can think faster than Jo can. "Mind you, so can a packet of fags." She says she can think. He asks if she's sure. She says, "I think so. There you are, I just did."
He has her compete against the calculator in figuring out seven nines. She uses an elaborate method and doesn't quite finish. Indicating the one on the table, he says, "The packet of fags has done it."
Chrissy comes in and says it's 63. Then she says, "You still messing about with that useless object?" He says, "No, I was just talking to her."
Chrissy gives him the word problem, "If three people have a one-year lease on their flat, which expires today, how much will their rent go up?" He gives the answer "Managua" (with all the syllables).
Now smoking, he tells her to leave him alone and let him play with his thing. She says he's burying his head in the sand and refusing to face facts. He says, "I have buried my head in the sand and I'm facing it. That is a fact."
French loaf: Downstairs, George is trying to get Oscar to say, "On board the good ship Venus." (See below.) Someone knocks and then Chrissy lets herself in. She's brought the rent. He tells her that her lease is due for renewal. She says she completely forgot.
He says the rent could go down, but not surprisingly he raises it, to another 25 a month. She says 5 bob isn't bad, but he means 25 pounds. (I'm confused, was he talking shillings or something?)
He says he and Mildred discussed it, and it's only right considering inflation.
George: I have been hit you know.
Chrissy: That's understandable.
Mildred comes in with groceries. She says that's the last time she travels in a Tube train with a French loaf. (French bread, which presumably was poking people.) She hands the bread to her husband.
George: What am I supposed to do with this, Mildred?
Mildred: I don't care, George, as long as you don't make crumbs.
George escorts Chrissy out before she can mention the lease to Mildred. Mildred scolds George for his manners.
He tells Mildred that he extended the kids' lease, for another 25 quid a month. If they don't feel like paying that, there are plenty of other people who would. She tears the newspaper he's reading and says, "I don't want other people. I want them, George. I like them." And he put up the rent last year.
She wants him to go up and tell them he's changed his mind. He says, "I am master in this house." She yanks him to his feet by his shirt.
Two halves: Later, the trio are in the lounge, and Robin does the maths of the rent increase. The girls say they were half expecting the increase. He says, "Right, so that's two halves, equals one."
Chrissy says, "How many times have I told you to stop playing with that thing?" He calculates that.
Jo has a thought. This worries Robin a little. Chrissy says, "Listen to it before you ignore it." Robin says something I don't catch in an American accent, as if imitating a specific person.
Jo thinks they should get a fourth person in to share the flat. Robin and Chrissy like the idea. Jo says she's not just a pretty face, a gorgeous figure, and a bubbly personality.
George knocks and comes in. He brought the rentbook back. He starts to talk about the rent, but when he hears about the fourth person to share, he really likes the idea. He leaves without offering to lower the rent.
Robin says of their new flatmate, "Do you think she should be a boy or a girl?"
Well done: Downstairs, Mildred scolds the bird and then when George comes in she says that the bird's first word can't be repeated. (I thought it spoke on an earlier episode. Oh well, it's not the only continuity issue with this episode.) George says, "Well done, Oscar."
George confusingly explains what he told the kids, making her think he didn't raise the rent.
Thingy: The trio continue their discussion of the new flatmate. Chrissy wonders where he or she would sleep. Robin says they could put a bunk bed in his room, or if it's a fellow, "he can kip on the settee."
Jo: We could get a convertible.
Chrissy: No, let's stick with a girl or a fellow.
(It seems like Chrissy makes most of the sex-change jokes. And Jo means a convertible settee, not a car.)
Robin thinks of someone and then pretends he hasn't.
Robin: (glancing at his wrist) Gosh, look at the time, the pubs are open.
Chrissy: You haven't got a watch on.
Robin: It's all right, it's not raining.
He dashes out.
Jo: Do you remember Thingy?
Chrissy: Oh yeah, six foot ten, black as coal, walked with a limp, parrot on hs shoulder.
Jo: No, not him, the other Thingy. Er, friend of David's. Everyone used to call him James. What was his name?
Chrissy: James?
Jo: Yes, him! Now, he was looking for a flat to share.
Chrissy: Do you know what his phone number is?
Jo: No, but I can phone him up and ask him what it is. (Chrissy looks perplexed.) David, silly girl.
It's not clear if this is the same David that Jo went out with in "Some Enchanted Evening," the shy Jewish fellow that Robin ended up cooking for.
Wong Ling: At the White Swan, George drinks at the bar as Percy polishes a glass.
George tries to give Percy a hypothetical situation about telling his wife something, but Percy isn't married. George explains so badly that Percy says, "You dirty devil! You've been at it." George says, "Well, it was practically offered to me. Well, everything else is going up, so why not?" He says it wasn't to be sneezed at. He says to imagine the position he's in. Percy says, "Well, if you're sneezing at it, I certainly can."
Robin comes in and Percy says, "Here's your friend," but George doesn't greet Robin, who goes to Linda's table.
Robin asks Linda if she's still having problems with her landlord, Wong Ling. She has to be out by the 2nd of the Year of the Grasshopper. She's not sure when that is. (It doesn't exist.)
He offers to share his flat. She asks what it's like, so he says there's a room fifty feet long with marble fountains and silken tapestries. "And that's just the bog" (bathroom).
She points out he's already sharing the flat with a couple girls. He says that's a strictly keep-your-hands-to-yourself situation, what's the word? She suggests boring. He says platonic.
Robin: They'd have to think we're the same, not that we need be.
Linda: How much a week?
Robin: Well, it depends how we feel.
Linda: Rent!
He gets out his calculator.
She says she'd like to look at the flat before she decides. He says she can come by this afternoon. He wants her to pretend they've never met, because the girls wouldn't let his girlfriend move in. Holding her hands in his, he says they've never met before. He kisses her hands. Then he says, "And we are total strangers." They kiss on the lips. Mr. Roper passes by and says, "Blimey!"
James: Jo enters her bathroom, followed by Chrissy and James. He says it's the smallest room in the house. Chrissy says, "Not quite. You haven't seen your room yet."
Chrissy says they'll try to avoid all being in the bath at the same time. Jo says, "Yes, in case the water overflows."
They go out to the kitchen. Chrissy points at the room she shares with Jo and says it's guarded by a force field that causes instant death to any man who crosses it without his trousers on.
He says it's a big kitchen. They go to the lounge and he says that's big, too, and spacious. She opens the door to Robin's room. James says he can see where they got the space from. This is shot in such a way that we can see a poster they can't, of a topless blonde.
Chrissy: You'd be sharing with Robin. He's awfully nice. You'd soon get to know him.
James: I don't see how I could avoid it.
She says he'd be out in the lounge most of the time. He says his feet would be.
He's seen one other flat, on Gloucester Terrace. It's just opposite the cemetery.
James: I was temped to move in there.
Jo: Don't you have to be dead?
James: The flat.
He says that flat was much better but the rent was twice as much as he could afford.
Robin comes home and Chrissy introduces him to James. She tells Robin that James can move in on Monday, so they've found their fourth. Robin says, "Oh, hell!" and we break for adverts.
John: The scene picks up where we left off. Robin says that was an "Oh, hell" of surprise.
Robin: It's nothing against you, Mr., er.
James: James Freeman. James.
Robin: Mr. James.
Robin wants a quick chat with the girls, so the three of them go into the kitchen.
Robin says, "I grant you, he doesn't look bent." He says he'd have to share a room with him. And James is very tall and it's a very small room. Also, he thinks that James could have garlic breath, maybe not right now, but he's just the type. "That's all we need, an enormously tall garlic-chewing pooft."
He says he's never known a John you could trust.
Chrissy: He said his name is James.
Robin: Well, yeah, that's just the sort of lie a John would come out with.
Ironically, James is played by John Flanagan. John F. was only 29 at the time of this episode but had already been typecast as policemen and detectives, so this probably made a nice change for him.
Robin thinks they should wait till somebody more suitable comes along. Chrissy says that if he's really concerned James might be bent, he could go ask.
The three of them return to the lounge. Robin calls James "John," so James corrects him. Robin sits next to James on the settee. Robin says, "Well, James, I'm given to understand you want to share my bedroom with me." James says that's right, but "frankly, I'd rather share theirs," meaning the girls'. Robin says this is a pity.
James: Why? Are you gay?
Robin: Of course I'm not!
Robin puts his hand on James's leg and asks, "Would it put you off the flat if I was?" Chrissy exclaims, "That's not fair! You're trying to convert him!"
James says Robin wouldn't be able to convert him. Leaning in, he tells Robin, "It's not that you're not attractive. I hope we can be friends." Dancing his fingers on Robin's knee, he says he's not gay.
Robin jumps to his feet. Then he grabs Jo and wants to prove he's not gay.
Chrissy tells James that the three of them will have a chat about this. James says he'll go get cigarettes from the machine on the corner. When he hears that there's no machine, he says he doesn't smoke. He exits.
Chrissy asks what Robin has against James. Robin says, "Nothing," but he still wants someone more suitable. He looks at Jo's watch.
Tweet tweet: At the Ropers', she's reading a fashion magazine with an Ocean Pacific advert. George comes home with a bouquet of flowers behind his back.
She tells him the budgie said the word twice. George says the budgie doesn't know what it means. She says she's not sure she does. George says, "Even if he did, he doesn't actually know how to do it." Budgies have very dull sex lives. She says, "Tweet tweet."
The word is obviously a verb. Beyond that, well, it's probably from the lyrics to the very bawdy song "The Good Ship Venus." It might be "bugger." But you can decide for yourself:
http://www.lyricsmania.com/good_ship_venus_lyrics_loudon_wainwright_iii.html
George tells Mildred that he's done something she might not like. Then he gives her the flowers. She says, "Of course I like it." He says he's done something else. Then he gives her a box of chocolates. She's touched, but then suspicious.
He hesitates and then tells her he likes how she's done her hair. She's flattered and then again suspicious. He gets very nervous.
Avon: Chrissy tells Robin he's being unreasonable. He says he doesn't want to share with a man who goes around pretending to be a pooft when he isn't, since that's dishonest.
Someone knocks. Robin answers and it's Linda. He says, "Good afternoon, Madame." Chrissy asks who it is. He says he doesn't know, maybe a Jehovah's Witness or an Avon Lady, could be both. He brings Linda in.
Linda says she heard they were looking for a fourth to share. Chrissy asks how Linda heard since they didn't advertise. Robin says she probably heard him muttering about it in public. Chrissy asks if he muttered their address as well.
Linda calls him Robin, so he says he muttered his name, too. When he refers to Linda by name, Chrissy says, "Linda? Linda mutters as well?"
Jo enters from the kitchen and Chrissy introduces her to Linda. She tells Jo that Robin and Linda mutter together. Jo says they were doing a lot more than that in the back row of some place I don't catch the name of, but presumably the cinema.
Robin cries to Linda, "It was you!" Then he admits that this is his girlfriend.
James returns and Chrissy has him sit down. The trio go back to the kitchen for another chat.
Chrissy says Robin must think they're daft. He denies it, then indicating Jo, "Well, she is a bit, but not you."
Chrissy says, "You'd like that, wouldn't you? Your girlfriend on tap, like gas or electricity. When you're in the mood, shove a bob in." He exclaims, "Chrissy!"
He promises he won't get involved with Linda if she lives there. "Cross my heart, hope to die in a cellar full of rats." Then he admits he's lying.
Chrissy: It wouldn't work, so let's have James.
Jo: Oh, yes, he's lovely.
Robin thinks Jo is after it, meaning sex with James.
Complaints: James says to Linda, "So you're after it as well? The flat." She tells him about her terrible Chinese landlord. You pay him the rent and then an hour later you feel like paying him again. (I think her landlord was only made Chinese for this joke and the one about the Year of the Grasshopper.)
He says his flat is being pulled down by the Council. They're building a multi-story Complaints Department for Rate-Payers.
She asks how you can find an empty flat in London these days. He says, "Murder," meaning it's murder trying to find one. She says, "Yes, that's one way."
He tells her he saw a place in Gloucester Terrace, enormous.
Linda: The flat?
James: The rent.
Rock: Downstairs, Mildred puts on romantic music and sits on the arm of George's chair, while he's reading the newspaper again. She asks, "George, can I press you to a soft centre?", possibly meaning the chocolates. He says they stick to his plate, meaning his dental plate. He had to use a Brillo pad last time.
She tells him to not spoil the mood. She puts her hand inside his shirt and says his heart is fluttering like a little bird. He tells her they shouldn't in the middle of the afternoon. It's not decent.
Not giving up, she tells him that in a certain light, he looks like Rock Hudson, which is of course deeply ironic in hindsight. (Rock died nine years after this episode, coming out shortly before that.) George tells her she does, too, then has to correct this to her looking like a film star. She asks which one, so he says the one they saw on the telly recently, the one that died of drink and drugs. (This is sadly ironic in light of Yootha Joyce's death, which I'll talk about in my very last post.)
Mildred tells George to make the most of her while she's in a good mood. Then he says there is something he's been trying to raise. He admits that he may have inadvertently given her the impression he hadn't put the rent up.
She angrily turns the music off. He tells her, "Keep tickling me, Mildred," and puts her hand back on his chest. She says, "You take your chest off me!"
On her feet, she says he deliberately disobeyed her and lied about it. He gets to his feet, too, and demands, "What are you gonna do about it?"
Gloucester: Upstairs, Robin tosses a coin, saying the girls have to abide by it. But when the coin picks James, Robin doesn't want to abide by it.
James and Linda can hear the trio quarreling and they get to their feet.
Jo says James and Linda can both move in. She picks up the calculator and talks about the maths, then asks, "How do you turn this on?"
Linda tells the trio that she and James have changed their minds. Neither of them wants to move in if it'll cause quarrels. Jo says it won't, and Chrissy says it will.
Linda and James are going to share the flat in Gloucester Terrace. She tells Robin it'll be platonic, like his situation. He says, "But those two are are far more strong-willed than you are." She's of course insulted.
James and Linda start to leave.
Robin: That's my girlfriend!
James: Yes, I know. But look on the bright side. It may cure me.
He blows Robin a kiss, then he and Linda exit.
Jo says they'll have to advertise for the flatmate. Chrissy says, "We can't do that. We'll get all sorts of weirdos applying."
Someone knocks and Chrissy answers. George is standing there with his toothbrush, and the budgie in its cage.
George: I believe you're looking for a fourth to share.
Chrissy: See what I mean.
And the episode ends. I'd have omitted the last line or two and let the audience work it out.
Commentary: It's not the Rock Hudson reference that most dates this episode, or the cost of the rent. It's Robin being obsessed with a frigging calculator! Yes, in 1976 I was amazed by calculators, too, but in my defense I was 8 years old. The mid-'70s was a time of incredible technological advances (computers had already shrunk from room-size although not yet to television-size), but things do look awfully primitive 35 years later. And I know Jo is meant to meant to be dippy, but can she really not multiply seven times nine?
I like the dottiness of her Thingy exchange with Chrissy, who tries to keep up with her. The other Thingy sounds like a pirate.
By this point, I've lost track of their various leases. They did have the three-year lease elapse in "We Shall Not Be Moved," which aired in November 1974, sixteen months ago. Maybe these winter/spring '76 episodes are supposed to be set a few months earlier, which would make the chronology a bit smoother in "The Party's Over."
As on that episode, George claims that he's discussed something with Mildred and she agrees with him, when of course he's scared of her finding out. This episode makes clear that the "obey" in their vows applied to him, not her. I'd feel sorry for him being henpecked, but as always there's the impression he deserves it for being mean in both senses. Also, it's weird watching this episode after "The Party's Over," because Percy suspects George of cheating on Mildred, which George sort of did. And although Mildred is suspicious of George's gifts and compliments, no mention is made of Mrs. Hollins, as if they've already moved on from that incident.
Even stranger is that Linda and the girls have no memory of meeting each other before. Robin is right that his flatmates, Chrissy in particular, would disapprove of him moving his girlfriend in. One way this influenced 3'sC is that during the episode where Amer-Linda temporarily moves in while Janet's away (contract dispute), Jack has to be platonic with Linda, even though this is after the pregnancy scare episode.
It is odd that after all the initial fuss over Robin moving in with two girls, and briefly pretending to be gay, Mr. Roper doesn't give a damn that either Robin is going to be living with three girls, or there will be two girls and two fellows in the flat. All he cares about at this point is the money. Had British society, or at least television, liberalised that much in 2 1/2 years? Or maybe the interval with Larry staying in the flat till he moved into the attic made George OK with a two-man-two-woman living situtation. Now Robin briefly pretends to be gay in order to keep James from moving in, only to have it backfire on him.
I like James. He's cute and witty and he just rolls with whatever the trio throw at him, and yet he wins in the end, getting the better flat, and a nice roommate like Linda. I don't know if they stay platonic, but the fact that neither of them returns to the show suggests they lived happily ever after, at least for awhile.
The other influence this episode had on 3'sC is part of the resolution of the episode "Chrissy's Cousin," where the title character (Jenilee Harrison's Cindy Snow) moves into the apartment. Using astrology, she convinces Jack's girlfriend and Janet's boyfriend to move into a vacant apartment together, although Jack and Janet had each hoped his/her sweetie would move in. That episode is so different from this one though, even more than "Three's Christmas" and "While The Cat's Away," that it's not worth doing an in-depth comparison.
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