Getting it together: Chrissy is typing the petition. Robin pour drinks. He puts his arms around her. Soft music starts.
Robin: Can't you finish this later, when Jo gets back?
Chrissy: I thought the idea was to get on with it before she gets back.
Robin: Come on, let's stop messing about.
Chrissy: I second that.
He has her sit back and gets them the drinks.
Robin: You can't hold out forever.
Chrissy: What makes you think I have?
Robin: Oh, I don't.
Chrissy: Oh, don't you?
And then when he tries to say he does think she's held out, she says, "Oh, do you?"
She's says it's all right for him. Men can just turn it on. A girl needs time, coaxing, chatting up. He says he can't chat her up. "How can you chat up someone you care for? Someone you have a deep, emotional feeling for. How am I doing?"
Vinegar and chip fat: Meanwhile, in Larry's car....
Jo: Honestly, Larry, I really don't feel like it.
Larry: Oh, come on, Jo, you will enjoy it.
Jo: But I don't like pot.
He says it's nice here, the atmosphere. She says, "Yes, vinegar and chip fat."
He says he has a little confession to make: he was born a girl. Ever since the operation, he hasn't had a chance to find out if it works. So, "in the interest of medical science." She gives him "full marks for originality."
Jo: Has anyone ever told you you're terribly attractive, and have a wonderful way with women.
Larry: (flattered) No, no, they haven't.
Jo: (amused) Then where'd you get the idea from?
She wants him to take her home, and offers to make coffee there. He worries about his reputation. She says she won't tell anyone he didn't score. She'll even recommend him to her friends. He's flattered. She says that's a better technique, pathos.
She wants to drive the car because he's a mad driver. She's never driven a VW before, but "all cars are the same, aren't they?" So she backs the car into the lake. They have to crawl out of the car.
Frog spawn: Back at the flat, Robin and Chrissy are lying on the settee. He's kissing her neck.
She doesn't want to get carried away without talking. She says they've known each other some time now, and it's probably not going too far to say he fancies her. He admits it. She says it's OK, if he meant what he said about caring.
They're about to kiss, but he realises that she's putting the responsibility on him. So she has to say, "Don't you dare lay a finger on me or I'll scream." He says, "Oh, that's better," and they kiss.
The soft music breaks off as Jo and Larry enter, soaked and arguing. Robin says, "Bad timing, Larry, this is not the moment."
Chrissy gets off the settee. She says to get those wet clothes off, meaning Jo, not Larry. Jo says she has frog spawn in her bra. The girls leave the room.
Robin throws a pillow, twice, in frustration. He glares at Larry, who then apologises. Larry leaves. Robin hits the door with both fists.
Signatures: The next scene shows a Spiros sign has gone up at the end of the block. The men are putting up another. A towing lorry (or whatever they'd call it) brings Larry's car.
The trio emerge with copies of the petition. The girls sign. Robin has Larry sign.
Larry apologises to Robin and then Chrissy. She says it's all right because "it was him and me against me and I was losing." Larry tells Robin they can go blind together. Then he apologises to Jo.
Chrissy knocks at Larry's house. Mr. Gideon answers and Greek music plays. Mr. Pluthero is leaving. Mr. Gideon thanks him for the lovely record. Mr. Pluthero has his men put up another Spiros sign.
Larry: Oh, that's nice, isn't it? I have to find new digs now. Here, how about if I move in with you?
Robin: How about you jump back in the lake again?
The girls are going to be late for work. They'll get more signatures on their lunch hour.
Robin wonders about the lady in #4. Larry says that's Miss Bird and, if Robin's going in there alone, he'd better keep his legs crossed.
The milkman gives Robin Miss Bird's bottle, since he hasn't got time this morning. The postman gives Robin Miss Bird's post, since he's a married man.
Robin rings Miss Bird's bell and she yanks him in. The camera cuts to the postman, milkman, and Larry, the two nameless men putting their hats over their hearts, as if mourning Robin.
The milkman was played by Johnnie Briggs (usually spelled Johnny), who started appearing in movies back in '48, when he was about 12, and is still working more than 60 years later. He did four Carry On movies. The postman, Bill Pertwee, did three Carry Ons, but his most significant role seems to be A.R.P. Warden Hodges on 59 episodes of Dad's Army (1968 to 1977), which I'll return to shortly.
Miss Bird: Miss Bird is wearing a lacy pink nightdress. She says she thought Robin was the dustman. He says he's Robin Tripp from #6 and he wants her to sign a petition.
She tells him the rumours aren't true. People try to take advantage of her warm nature. She asks if he'd like to see what she does. She's a potter, of erotic soup bowls. She offers him one.
Miss Bird: I don't know if you're in favour of this permissive society.
Robin: Yes, but it shouldn't be compulsory.
She says that the needs of men and women are exactly the same. He says women can switch it on, but men need time, coaxing.
Robin: Would you prefer a pencil?
Miss Bird: No, I wouldn't.
She lowers her nightdress enough to reveal her back and shoulders to the camera. He escapes with the erotic bowl.
Miss Bird is played by Andria Lawrence, although she usually spelled it Andrea. Her credits are nearly all from the 1960s and '70s. She did at least two Hammer horrors, Countess Dracula (1971), as "Ziza, Shepherd's Inn Whore," and Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell (see above), as "Brassy girl." She also played "Nell Gwyn" in the 1969 miniseries The First Churchills. So it's fair to say she's typecast here.
As Robin leaves, a Boy Scout comes to the door, asking if there's any job he can do for her. She asks him to come back next year. He's played by Mark Rogers, whose acting career seems to have ended six years after this movie.
Larry is now polishing his car.
Larry: Did you get it then?
Robin: Bloody nearly.
He shows Larry the bowl.
Hanging and flogging: It's the girls' lunch hour and they're trying to get signatures. Outside a butcher's shop, Chrissy talks about the petition to save Edwardian houses on Myddleton Terrace, but the man she approaches is hard of hearing. He's credited as "Elderly Man" and played by Arthur Hewlett, then about 67. His first role was in 1950 and he kept on till 1994, three years before his death. He played a lot of religious characters, such as the Archbishop of Canterbury on Black Adder.
Jo approaches a woman who's leaving a florist's. The woman asks if it's anything to do with bringing back hanging and flogging. When Jo says no, she says, "Couldn't you add something?" Jo says that might confuse the issue. I think this is the character called "Tweedy Lady," since she's listed after "Elderly Man." If so, then she's Annie Leake, who was about 60 at the time of this movie and lived another 32 years. Ms. Leake seems to have started her screen career late, since her earliest credit is from 1961. Few of her television programmes crossed the Atlantic.
Don't know: An older bald man answers the phone in his office. He turns out to be Mr. Spiros, and he's played by Arthur Lowe, the star of Dad's Army. According to IMDB, that programme "alternated moments of gentle character comedy with broad slapstick," and his character was the pompous local bank manager turned captain. He was 58 or 59 at the time of this movie.
Spiros has a good-looking black secretary, played by Pauline Peart. She was about 22 at the time of this movie and, not only doesn't she have any lines here, but she doesn't seem to have had much of a screen career. Like so many of the others in this movie, she did a Hammer horror, in her case playing one of several "Vampire Girls" in 1973's The Satanic Rites of Dracula.
Mr. Pluthero is in the office and he keeps trying to talk to Mr. Spiros, but his boss is distracted by the phone. After Spiros hangs up, Pluthero says he wants to name the new development after himself. Spiros prefers Nelson House.
Pluthero: After the sea-faring gentleman?
Spiros: No, after my wife's basset hound.
We return to Chrissy, who's outside a market, talking to a black mother of two sons. The family is putting items into a baby carriage. The woman tells Chrissy to put her down as a "don't know." Chrissy says the woman doesn't know what the petition's about. The woman says, "That's what I just said, don't know." She must be "Housewife," so she's Corinne Skinner (later Corinne Skinner-Carter), who was then a couple years past the mid-point of her nearly fifty-year screen career. When she was about 70, she did 41 episodes of EastEnders.
Lucky Luke: At the flat that evening, Robin cooks in his naughty apron. The girls come in, talking about the signatures they got. Jo says she got two Adolf Hitlers.
Robin guilt-trips them for coming home at a quarter to 7. Instead of being offended, Jo says he's sweet and kisses his cheek. Chrissy, who's wearing a Lucky Luke jacket, says they'd better watch out, or he'll go home to mother.
When they sit at the kitchen table, Jo says they must be late, since the soup's gone cold. Robin exclaims, "It's supposed to be cold!"
They need only a couple more signatures to make 1000. Robin still needs to go to the home on the end, with the poodle. Jo says he hasn't been back to Miss Bird. He says there's no way he's going to. Jo starts to say that Miss Bird couldn't be that bad, and then she sees what's in her soup bowl.
22 years: Outside, presumably the next day, we see Mildred polishing the car. She thinks George brought tea out for her, but it's for himself.
He still wants to sell the house. She asks what good money is if you don't have your health. He says he has got it. She says, "You won't have, if you sell my house."
She says after 22 years of marriage, all they've got to show for it is the house. He says it's not his fault. He went to the clinic and they said it wasn't his fault. And he'd have liked to have had children.
Mildred: George, you can't hit the jackpot if you don't put the money in the machine.
George: I suppose you think Arthur Mulgrove could've done better.
He thinks she's been going on about Arthur. She says she's mentioned Arthur once in 22 years, and she wouldn't call that going on. She then says, "Yes, he could've done better, and, no, you're not gonna sell my house.
The trio emerge from the house. A Spiros sign goes up. They haven't seen Pluthero lately.
The girls go to Miss Bird's and see six milk bottles on the stoop. Pluthero emerges after Miss Bird and says it was a real pleasure. After he leaves, she tells the girls he's a wonderful man. They give up on her.
Robin goes to talk to the blonde with the poodle, Hazel Lovett. She's played by Aimi MacDonald, whose screen career ranges from 1965 to 2008. Her horror film (I don't think from Hammer) was Old Drac, the year after this movie.
Hazel hands Robin her dog as she signs. In her high-pitched voice, she says she doesn't own the house. It belongs to a gentleman friend.
Celebratory music plays as a Spiros sign goes up at Miss Bird's. Pluthero yawns, worn out from his night's work.
Jo says they need one more signature to make it to 1000. Chrissy says there must be someone they know who hasn't signed it yet. It turns out Robin hasn't. Mr. Roper calls him stupid and laughs.
Sir Edmund: Outside the local MP's office, we see signs that say "Sir Edmund Weir: Man of the People." Chrissy goes up the steps.
Inside, Sir Edmund strikes a pose like on his poster, with a V for Victory sign. He's played by Patrick Newell, who appeared in four Sherlock Holmes movies. He also did 22 episodes of The Avengers.
Chrissy comes in while he's posing. He stops. He says he's been in the House. The Prime Minister was speaking for over an hour.
Chrissy: What about?
Sir Edmund: He didn't say.
She says she's one of his constituents and she wants him to accept a petition to save six Edwardian houses from being pulled down for office blocks. She says he's the President of the Preserve London Society. He says, "My wife gets me involved with the most extraord--", then breaks off.
She says that 1000 people signed. When he hears "Myddleton Terrace," he's very surprised. He says they're charming row houses, and they can't be pulled down.
Saucebox: We cut to Hazel, carrying the poodle, answering her phone. Sir Edmund is on the other line. He calls her Darling, and himself Poopsie. We have to assume that Chrissy has left the office, although there are no shots to establish this.
Hazel asks if he's coming round tonight. He can't because it's his wife's birthday. Hazel has a new gymslip. According to Wikipedia, this is "a sleeveless tunic with a pleated skirt most commonly seen as part of a girl's school uniform," used for athletic wear. It seems to have a pornographic connotation, sort of like Catholic schoolgirl uniforms. It's given a twist here when Hazel adds that the gymslip is in his size. He says he'll stop by for just five minutes.
He says she should've told him about the proposed building development. She says she hasn't seen him for ages and he said never to ring him at home. He says he'll put a stop to the development.
Sir Edmund: They don't like publicity, these development boys.
Hazel: Why not? You do.
He says that's different. He doesn't want to be a back-bencher all his life. There's no harm in letting the public know the things you do. She says, "Not all the things you do," and giggles. He calls her a saucebox. Then he asks if the gymslip is green or navy blue.
Snigatures: Later, Mildred reads an article about Sir Edmund's speech condemning the development. George is clipping his nails. She tells him to not do it in the lounge. He'll have somebody's eye out. He suggests the kitchen, but she says she's got salad on the table. She calls him a pig.
Upstairs, Jo and Chrissy read aloud bits of articles about the development. Chrissy's has typos, like "snigatures." Robin says that must be The Guardian. (This newspaper was so well known for its typos in the days of hot-metal typesetting that its nickname was The Grauniad.)
Jo suggests that for their next move they occupy the building, in the '60s protest sense. Chrissy says they're already occupying it, since they've got a lease. Jo says that's so much the better, since it would be legal.
Meanwhile, Robin is looking at a Page Three girl, probably in The Sun tabloid.
He asks the girls if they fancy a game of something. They don't want cards, so he suggests Monopoly, but half the money's missing. He gets the box and says they could play for something else, meaning Strip Monopoly. However, Chrissy's granddad taught her to play and she always wins.
Sublet: Meanwhile, Pluthero visits Sir Edmund's office. Sir Edmund is cutting up the articles about his speech. Pluthero says Sir Edmund hasn't spoken out so much in years, not since the purchase tax on gymslips. Sir Edmund says he'll be speaking out on television tomorrow.
Pluthero points out that Sir Edmund owns one of the Myddleton Terrace properties, #5. Sir Edmund says it's good to have a house in your own constituency, but he seldom uses it. Miss Hazel Lovett occupies it. Pluthero asks if Miss Lovett is a friend of Sir Edmund, or perhaps of "your good lady wife." Sir Edmund shows the paper dolls he's been making.
Then we see another Spiros sign go up, with that triumphant music.
Silly: George tells Mildred that the developers got next door. They have all the houses except the Ropers' now. That gives the Ropers a strong bargaining position if they were selling, which they're not.
She's going into town to buy a see-through nightie. That way, if she ever dies a violent death, he'll stand a fair chance of recognising the body. After she leaves, he says to the budgie, "Silly bitch."
As she goes down the steps, Pluthero watches from his limo across the street. He goes over to the house when the coast is clear.
George says it's typical of women, they're selfish. Mildred has never given him anything but the budgie. Then when he calls the budgie Arthur, he suddenly realises why Mildred chose that name.
But before he can process this, the doorbell for the building rings. He lets in Pluthero, who says that since George's lady wife is out, they can talk man to man. George says he was expecting Pluthero, since this is the last house.
Pluthero says he dropped in to apologise about the inconvenience there'll be, with dust, noise, and possibly vermin. It may reduce the property value. George says he'll only sell the house for the same price as the others. Pluthero accepts this.
Then George tells him about the sitting tenants with a three-year lease. Pluthero says, "Are you suggesting I knock down the bottom half and leave an upper?" George says no but Pluthero can still buy the house. Pluthero asks which tenant signed the lease.
A small business matter: We cut to Chrissy walking down the street. Pluthero's red Rolls rolls up. He gets out and cheerfully greets her. He asks if she's off to lunch. He can give her a lift or even buy her lunch. She's suspicious but gets into his car. He says he'll pay for lunch just for the pleasure of her company. And there's a small business matter. She says she knows a very nice little restaurant.
We're about two-thirds in, 56 minutes. To be continued....
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