The Movie, Part Three

Naive young girl:  The restaurant that Chrissy is thinking of is of course the one where Robin works.  And we see that both the kitchen and cook are now clean, under his influence.  He tests one of the dishes, and the cook suggests a touch more nutmeg, if Robin thinks it's all right.  The cook goes to wash his hands, since he's been touching the flour.

We see Chrissy and Pluthero sitting in a booth, and then Larry tells Robin.  Pluthero offers Chrissy 200.  She says she's a naive young girl. 
Pluthero:  I wouldn't say that.
Chrissy:  But it's what you were thinking.
She says she owes loyalty to the other people in the flat.

The cook and Larry are spying on them.  The cook asks if that's the fellow they were telling him about.  Larry says yes, because of Pluthero he has to look for a new pad (as in home). 

Chrissy excuses herself from the table and goes in the kitchen.  She tells Robin that Pluthero is "bribing me into throwing you and Jo out into the street."  When she returns to the table, she says she changed her mind, getting Pluthero's hopes up.  But she's decided to start with the beluga caviar instead.  She orders from Larry and they act like they don't know each other.

Robin puts "a bit too much" black pepper on the Steak Diane.  Larry and the cook egg him on.

Pluthero says that his mother wanted him to be a concert cellist but he didn't have the knees for it, so he went into property management instead.  Chrissy says he went from one big fiddle to another (in the sense of fraud).  He says, "Very good, yes, ha ha."

Larry, just for the hell of it, puts on a bad French accent.

Pluthero notices that the salad has an unusual flavour, exotic.

Castor oil:  Robin drinks some brandy and passes it to Larry, who swigs it down.  Robin puts castor oil in Pluthero's meal.  Larry drinks some more brandy.  Then Robin adds Epsom salt.  He, Larry, and the cook are all laughing.

Chrissy says Pluthero is only doing his job, being underhand and sneaky.  He says he could go up to 400.  She says her answer would still be no.  He thinks the sauce is very rich and piquant.

Robin worries both that he put in too much castor oil and that nothing seems to be happening.  (Like castor oil, Epsom salt can be used as a laxative.)    The cook says, "That's what they said about Krakatoa."  Larry goes out there and takes the plates away.

Chrissy says Pluthero could stop the development.  He wonders if her coffee tastes all right.  He's about to make one final offer, but he has to excuse himself to the restroom.  Meanwhile the chauffeur answers a call on the car phone. 

Pluthero returns to the table and doesn't look well.  She says he was about to make the final offer and she was about to refuse.  Outside the D. Gabriel something Pub/Trattoria, the chauffeur goes up the steps and hands a written message to a waiter who's not Larry.  That waiter gives the message to Pluthero, who reads it and says, "Right away?"

Sincere gesture:  We return to Spiros's office, with the silent black secretary and all.  Pluthero apologises for being late, but he had to stop off once or twice on the way.  He says he's got almost all the houses.  There's a small problem with sitting tenants at #6. 
Spiros:  Communists?
Pluthero:  Worse.  Idealists.

Spiros says that public relations says that they're not getting good press.  He holds up some clippings, probably the articles that the residents of #6 have been reading.

Pluthero, still having internal disturbance, wants to leave, but Spiros tells him to sit down.  Spiros is worried this bad PR may affect his knighthood.  The phone rings, but Spiros still won't let Pluthero go.  The secretary leaves with papers Spiros has been signing.

Spiros says that the GLC (I think the Greater London Council) will grant a preservation order at their next meeting.  He tells the person on the phone, "He's here with me now.  I haven't told him." 

After he hangs up, he smiles and goes over to Pluthero.  He says he's been asked to appear on television to defend the project, but he's not going to do it, Pluthero will.  He wants Pluthero to tell them the project has been cancelled.  It will be a sincere gesture to public opinion.  And it's because a certain incompetent was unable to get all six houses before the preservation order. 

Pluthero asks, "What if I get all six?"  Spiros says the program is at six o'clock, so he has till then.

Spiros wants him to mention how he (Spiros) gives to children's charities.  "No, make it dogs."  Pluthero dashes into Spiros's private washroom. 

We cut to an exterior of a skyscraper as we hear a toilet flush.  Then we pan down to the street.  Pluthero exits, looking worn out.  He gets in the car.  He starts to give his destination as Thames Television, Euston Road, then changes it to Myddleton Terrace, #6.

Poor little husbands:  We next see Pluthero being let into the building by Mr. Roper.  He wants to use the washroom. 

While Pluthero's busy with that, George is about to sign the agreement, but Mildred comes home from shopping.  She enjoyed having men pressed up against her on the Tube.  He says that was "very nice, I'm sure."  She got the see-through nightie.  She says it'll send his blood pressure up, just from looking at the price tag.

Then she sees the agreement.  Pluthero comes in from the washroom.  Mildred is very angry. 

The girls are in the entryway.  Chrissy says she was holding out for 500 but Pluthero left.  The Ropers exit from the flat, Mildred yelling at Pluthero for "bullying my poor little husband."  But Pluthero claims to be a husband himself, and now that he's had to cancel the project, "think of my wife and kids."  He shows a family picture.  The women don't buy it.

Pluthero goes down the steps and back to the limo.  He tells the chauffeur, "You can have your photograph back, Jenkins." 

Robin comes home with groceries.  He asks Pluthero how he feels.  Pluthero ignores him and tells the chauffeur to take him to Thames Television, Euston Road.

Pluthero says, "You keep your ear to the ground, Jenkins.  You know who's on the way up, and who's on the way out."  Jenkins puts up the glass divider.  Jenkins is played by Bill Sawyer, who has only six credits on IMDB, and he just doesn't look old enough to have done two shorts in 1929 and '30.  He probably is the same Bill Sawyer who played a taxi driver and a lorry driver in other movies.  He also has an uncredited role as a Puritan in the Hammer horror Twins of Evil. 

Celebratory drinks:  At the Ropers' later, Mildred is happy.  Today is going to be on at six o'clock.  She gets the sherry out.

In the kitchen upstairs, Chrissy and Robin are having drinks to celebrate.  The doorbell rings and Jo answers it.  Mildred has come to invite them down for drinks, but Robin offers her a drink.

Downstairs though, Mr. Roper smoothes out the agreement.  He says, "All that money."  Upstairs, everyone is laughing and drinking.  They believe that this shows that "ordinary men and women can do things."  Ordinary man George Roper signs the agreement.

With the redesign of the entryway, we get the trio and Mildred going down the stairs and into the flat through one door, while George sneaks out the other door.

He has trouble starting his car.  His wife sees him from the window.  And then she sees his signed copy of the agreement.

Slightly goofy music plays as George drives off, with Mildred and the trio running outside, his wife yelling.  They see the Thames Studio address mixed in with the agreement papers and Robin says, "This is where Pluthero's gone."

The four of them go over to Larry's car, with the keys left in it. 
Jo:  Should we ask him first?
Robin:  Oh, I'm sure he won't mind.

They drive off, revealing that Larry was lying under the car.  He cries, "Oi!"

Thames Television Studio:  We see George pull up to the studio, parking next to Pluthero's Rolls.  He gets out of his car. 

In the lobby, a doorman is on the phone.  George goes up to him, so he rings off.  George says he's got to see a man, and the man's Rolls is outside.  The doorman asks if he has a ticket.  Since George doesn't, the doorman throws him out.  George says he pays his (television) licence, which is probably a lie rather a parallel-universe truth.

Meanwhile, Pluthero is being made up.  Sir Edmund comes in.

We next see George sneaking onto the studio lot on the back on a flat-bed lorry.  He falls off holding a donkey piñata.

Larry's car pulls up and everyone gets  out.  Apparently parking is no problem in London.

Miss World:  The doorman stops the four of them in the lobby.  Robin claims to be a freaked-out hippie vicar who'll be interviewing Miss World.  Chrissy says, "I'm interested in travel and meeting people.  And religion."  Direct Jo asks where they're filming the Today programme.

The doorman asks for their tickets.  Mildred says she wants to catch her husband.  But then she recognises the guard as Arthur Mulgrove!  He recognises her as Mildred Asquith.  The trio sneak out.

Oddly enough, he's not listed by name in the credits, just "Doorman."  The actor, Norman Mitchell, was about 55 at the time of this movie and somehow had roles two years after his death in 2001.  He often played policeman, as in the aforementioned Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell.  He'd go on to four appearances on George & Mildred, although probably not as another of Mildred's exes.

As himself:  Meanwhile, George encounters Spike Milligan as himself.  Milligan acts completely mad, as usual.  He was best known for the radio programme The Goon Show.  When George tries to find Today, he riffs on that.

Back in the lobby, Arthur says he kept Mildred's photograph.  She says she named her budgie for him.  She would've replied to his letters, but he never wrote any.  He says he didn't want his feelings going through the Army censor.

She says she took up with a butcher's boy.
Arthur:  Did anything come of that?
Mildred:  Nothing at all.  I married him.

(This is consistent with MatH13, where George said he worked for a butcher when he was young.)

On the set of Today, the interviewer comes over.  Sir Edmund hopes that it's This Is Your Life, but the large red book is the programme's script.  Today was a real show, and Bill Grundy is playing himself, although credited as "Interviewer."  He was suspended two years after this movie because of a profanity-filled interview with the Sex Pistols.  The programme was cancelled two months later and his career was ruined.  The interview with Pluthero and Weir will go a bit more smoothly.

Love Thy Neighbour:  The trio meet Spike Milligan, Jo particularly amused by him. 

Then George meets Jack Smethurst and Rudolph Walker, the stars of Love Thy Neighbour, a very popular sitcom about two families, one white, one black, living next door to each other.  They're talking about who will win in the end, white or black, but they mean chess.  When George uses LTN's slur for Walker's character, "nig-nog," Smethurst says, "Don't talk to my friend like that!"  George says Smethurst does, on the telly.  Walker says Smethurst gets paid for it.  George says Walker is just as bad, calling Smethurst white honky and snowflake.  After George leaves, Walker says, "I think I fancy a white lady," meaning the cocktail.

Meanwhile, the producer of Today scolds the camera man for acting like a "tit man" as he scans the crowd.  The producer is played by Julian Orchard, who probably worked with a lot of tit men, since he did four Carry On movies.  His P.A. (production assistant) is played by Berry Cornish, who has only three other screen credits, all of them sounding as minor as this non-speaking role.  She should get the award for the most obscure performer in this movie, outdoing the secretary, the Boy Scout, and even the chauffeur.

Second Doorman:  A second doorman stands outside the studio for Today.  He's played by Michael Robbins, whose most significant role seems to have been as Arthur Rudge on 61 episodes of On the Buses.  He asks George if he's invited.  When George says yes, he lets him go in.  Then he smokes.

Meanwhile, Sir Edmund says to Pluthero that he trusts Pluthero won't say a word about Hazel, Miss Lovett.  "I wouldn't want the world to know I've been keeping a young lady in #5."  The producer says, "No, you wouldn't, would you?"

The title card for Today has very '70s lettering, that "futuristic" style, a little like this:

Grundy says that they're going to devote the whole evening to the "Myddleton Terrace controversy."

The second doorman tells the trio that he's not allowed to let them in, presumably because filming has started.  Then he says he's not allowed to smoke on duty either, or accept gratuities.  Robin puts something in the doorman's pocket.  He lets them in, then finds the tip is some kind of washer.

Poppet:  George tries to signal to Pluthero.  Grundy reads from a press cutting where Sir Edmund said that they'll fight them on the planning committees, on the local councils, and never surrender.  (On MatH, Robin had already referenced the Churchill speech.)  But Sir Edmund no longer stands by that statement.  And when Grundy asks Pluthero if the development is socially necessary, he says no.

The trio see Roper, as Grundy tries to understand the switched positions of his guests.  Mr. Roper sets the signed agreement on the table.  The producer says, "Fred, be a poppet, and get him out, will you?"  Mr. Roper is yanked away.  Jo says, "He's got the agreement," meaning Pluthero.

Pluthero says that agreement was "arrived at by five of the householders, including--"  Then Sir Edmund coughs.  "But my superior, Mr. Spiros, who has given several children to dogs' charities, anonymously of course...."  Spiros is watching in disgust on his very mod-looking television.  Pluthero continues to misspeak, saying that Spiros is also anxious about his knighthood.

Pluthero accidentally tears up Roper's agreement.  The trio gloat at Roper.  Then Pluthero realises what he's done.

Compensation:  A funeral dirge plays as the Spiros signs go down and into a lorry.  Robin and Chrissy watch from the window.  She says it's a lovely sight.

They turn around, Robin's arm around her as they step away from the window.  He asks if she's ever played chess.  She says her grandmother taught her.

Jo comes in wearing a blinding pink floral outfit.  Robin says everyone is getting compensation.  Jo says except for the Ropers.  Chrissy says, "Oh, I don't know.  I think Mrs. Roper might be getting some."

Downstairs, Mrs. Roper looks out the window.  A cab pulls up.  She wants George to get the luggage, but he says, "Stuff his luggage."  Arthur is here, and he's going to be their lodger.  She greets him in her pink dressing gown.  She says, "Come inside.  George is just dying to see you."  He says, "You're looking lovely."  George mockingly repeats this.  Arthur-the-budgie says, "Thank you."  George is surprised, since this seems to be the first time the budgie has ever said anything.

Back upstairs, Jo has left the room, and Chrissy now says she was thinking of another game, and she can't play chess after all.  Robin takes out a set.  We learn the value of the pieces.  Pawn = pair of tights.  Bishop = skirt.  Queen = "well, we'll sort that out."  He says the whole object of the game is to try to mate.  He puts his arm around her.  She looks amused, skeptical, and intrigued.

Closing:  We see the exterior of the row of houses.  A version of the theme song plays as the credits roll.  The worst rhyme this time is "must rearrange things/ not to estrange him."  And the singer asks the musical question, "With all the little things we shared and said/ Right from the start/ How can I tell him what's here in my heart?"

We learn that this movie was made at Elstree Studio, Hertfordshire, England, which I assume means the peculiar interiors, and not the shots of the Thames Studio and other London locations.

The Movie, Part Two

Getting it together:  Chrissy is typing the petition.  Robin pour drinks.  He puts his arms around her.  Soft music starts.
Robin:  Can't you finish this later, when Jo gets back?
Chrissy:  I thought the idea was to get on with it before she gets back.
Robin:  Come on, let's stop messing about.
Chrissy:  I second that.

He has her sit back and gets them the drinks.
Robin:  You can't hold out forever.
Chrissy:  What makes you think I have?
Robin:  Oh, I don't.
Chrissy:  Oh, don't you?
And then when he tries to say he does think she's held out, she says, "Oh, do you?"

She's says it's all right for him.  Men can just turn it on.  A girl needs time, coaxing, chatting up.  He says he can't chat her up.  "How can you chat up someone you care for?  Someone you have a deep, emotional feeling for.  How am I doing?"

Vinegar and chip fat:  Meanwhile, in Larry's car....
Jo:  Honestly, Larry,  I really don't feel like it.
Larry:  Oh, come on, Jo, you will enjoy it.
Jo:  But I don't like pot.

He says it's nice here, the atmosphere.  She says, "Yes, vinegar and chip fat."

He says he has a little confession to make:  he was born a girl.  Ever since the operation, he hasn't had a chance to find out if it works.  So, "in the interest of medical science."  She gives him "full marks for originality."

Jo:  Has anyone ever told you you're terribly attractive, and have a wonderful way with women.
Larry:  (flattered) No, no, they haven't.
Jo:  (amused) Then where'd you get the idea from?

She wants him to take her home, and offers to make coffee there.  He worries about his reputation.  She says she won't tell anyone he didn't score.  She'll even recommend him to her friends.  He's flattered.  She says that's a better technique, pathos.

She wants to drive the car because he's a mad driver.  She's never driven a VW before, but "all cars are the same, aren't they?"  So she backs the car into the lake.  They have to crawl out of the car.

Frog spawn:  Back at the flat, Robin and Chrissy are lying on the settee.  He's kissing her neck.

She doesn't want to get carried away without talking.  She says they've known each other some time now, and it's probably not going too far to say he fancies her.  He admits it.  She says it's OK, if he meant what he said about caring.

They're about to kiss, but he realises that she's putting the responsibility on him.  So she has to say, "Don't you dare lay a finger on me or I'll scream."  He says, "Oh, that's better," and they kiss.

The soft music breaks off as Jo and Larry enter, soaked and arguing.  Robin says, "Bad timing, Larry, this is not the moment."

Chrissy gets off the settee.  She says to get those wet clothes off, meaning Jo, not Larry.  Jo says she has frog spawn in her bra.  The girls leave the room.

Robin throws a pillow, twice, in frustration.  He glares at Larry, who then apologises.  Larry leaves.  Robin hits the door with both fists.

Signatures:  The next scene shows a Spiros sign has gone up at the end of the block.  The men are putting up another.  A towing lorry (or whatever they'd call it) brings Larry's car. 

The trio emerge with copies of the petition.  The girls sign.  Robin has Larry sign.

Larry apologises to Robin and then Chrissy.  She says it's all right because "it was him and me against me and I was losing."  Larry tells Robin they can go blind together.  Then he apologises to Jo.

Chrissy knocks at Larry's house.  Mr. Gideon answers and Greek music plays.  Mr. Pluthero is leaving.  Mr. Gideon thanks him for the lovely record.  Mr. Pluthero has his men put up another Spiros sign.

Larry:  Oh, that's nice, isn't it?  I have to find new digs now.  Here, how about if I move in with you?
Robin:  How about you jump back in the lake again?

The girls are going to be late for work.  They'll get more signatures on their lunch hour.

Robin wonders about the lady in #4.  Larry says that's Miss Bird and, if Robin's going in there alone, he'd better keep his legs crossed.

The milkman gives Robin Miss Bird's bottle, since he hasn't got time this morning.  The postman gives Robin Miss Bird's post, since he's a married man. 

Robin rings Miss Bird's bell and she yanks him in.  The camera cuts to the postman, milkman, and Larry, the two nameless men putting their hats over their hearts, as if mourning Robin.

The milkman was played by Johnnie Briggs (usually spelled Johnny), who started appearing in movies back in '48, when he was about 12, and is still working more than 60 years later.  He did four Carry On movies.  The postman, Bill Pertwee, did three Carry Ons, but his most significant role seems to be A.R.P. Warden Hodges on 59 episodes of Dad's Army (1968 to 1977), which I'll return to shortly.

Miss Bird:  Miss Bird is wearing a lacy pink nightdress.  She says she thought Robin was the dustman.  He says he's Robin Tripp from #6 and he wants her to sign a petition.

She tells him the rumours aren't true.  People try to take advantage of her warm nature.  She asks if he'd like to see what she does.  She's a potter, of erotic soup bowls.  She offers him one.

Miss Bird:  I don't know if you're in favour of this permissive society.
Robin:  Yes, but it shouldn't be compulsory.

She says that the needs of men and women are exactly the same.  He says women can switch it on, but men need time, coaxing. 

Robin:  Would you prefer a pencil?
Miss Bird:  No, I wouldn't.

She lowers her nightdress enough to reveal her back and shoulders to the camera.  He escapes with the erotic bowl.

Miss Bird is played by Andria Lawrence, although she usually spelled it Andrea.  Her credits are nearly all from the 1960s and '70s.   She did at least two Hammer horrors, Countess Dracula (1971), as "Ziza, Shepherd's Inn Whore," and Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell (see above), as "Brassy girl."  She also played "Nell Gwyn" in the 1969 miniseries The First Churchills.  So it's fair to say she's typecast here.

As Robin leaves, a Boy Scout comes to the door, asking if there's any job he can do for her.  She asks him to come back next year.  He's played by Mark Rogers, whose acting career seems to have ended six years after this movie.

Larry is now polishing his car. 
Larry:  Did you get it then?
Robin:  Bloody nearly.
He shows Larry the bowl.

Hanging and flogging:  It's the girls' lunch hour and they're trying to get signatures.  Outside a butcher's shop, Chrissy talks about the petition to save Edwardian houses on Myddleton Terrace, but the man she approaches is hard of hearing.  He's credited as "Elderly Man" and played by Arthur Hewlett, then about 67.  His first role was in 1950 and he kept on till 1994, three years before his death.  He played a lot of religious characters, such as the Archbishop of Canterbury on Black Adder.

Jo approaches a woman who's leaving a florist's.  The woman asks if it's anything to do with bringing back hanging and flogging.  When Jo says no, she says, "Couldn't you add something?"  Jo says that might confuse the issue.  I think this is the character called "Tweedy Lady," since she's listed after "Elderly Man."  If so, then she's Annie Leake, who was about 60 at the time of this movie and lived another 32 years.  Ms. Leake seems to have started her screen career late, since her earliest credit is from 1961.  Few of her television programmes crossed the Atlantic.

Don't know:  An older bald man answers the phone in his office.  He turns out to be Mr. Spiros, and he's played by Arthur Lowe, the star of Dad's Army.  According to IMDB, that programme "alternated moments of gentle character comedy with broad slapstick," and his character was the pompous local bank manager turned captain.  He was 58 or 59 at the time of this movie.

Spiros has a good-looking black secretary, played by Pauline Peart.  She was about 22 at the time of this movie and, not only doesn't she have any lines here, but she doesn't seem to have had much of a screen career.  Like so many of the others in this movie, she did a Hammer horror, in her case playing one of several "Vampire Girls" in 1973's The Satanic Rites of Dracula.

Mr. Pluthero is in the office and he keeps trying to talk to Mr. Spiros, but his boss is distracted by the phone.  After Spiros hangs up, Pluthero says he wants to name the new development after himself.  Spiros prefers Nelson House.
Pluthero:  After the sea-faring gentleman?
Spiros:  No, after my wife's basset hound.

We return to Chrissy, who's outside a market, talking to a black mother of two sons.  The family is putting items into a baby carriage.  The woman tells Chrissy to put her down as a "don't know."  Chrissy says the woman doesn't know what the petition's about.  The woman says, "That's what I just said, don't know."  She must be "Housewife," so she's Corinne Skinner (later Corinne Skinner-Carter), who was then a couple years past the mid-point of her nearly fifty-year screen career.  When she was about 70, she did 41 episodes of EastEnders. 

Lucky Luke:  At the flat that evening, Robin cooks in his naughty apron.  The girls come in, talking about the signatures they got.  Jo says she got two Adolf Hitlers.

Robin guilt-trips them for coming home at a quarter to 7.  Instead of being offended, Jo says he's sweet and kisses his cheek.  Chrissy, who's wearing a Lucky Luke jacket, says they'd better watch out, or he'll go home to mother.

When they sit at the kitchen table, Jo says they must be late, since the soup's gone cold.  Robin exclaims, "It's supposed to be cold!"

They need only a couple more signatures to make 1000.  Robin still needs to go to the home on the end, with the poodle.  Jo says he hasn't been back to Miss Bird.  He says there's no way he's going to.  Jo starts to say that Miss Bird couldn't be that bad, and then she sees what's in her soup bowl.

22 years:  Outside, presumably the next day, we see Mildred polishing the car.  She thinks George brought tea out  for her, but it's for himself. 

He still wants to sell the house.  She asks what good money is if you don't have your health.  He says he has got it.  She says, "You won't have, if you sell my house."

She says after 22 years of marriage, all they've got to show for it is the house.  He says it's not his fault.  He went to the clinic and they said it wasn't his fault.  And he'd have liked to have had children.
Mildred:  George, you can't hit the jackpot if you don't put the money in the machine.
George:  I suppose you think Arthur Mulgrove could've done better.

He thinks she's been going on about Arthur.  She says she's mentioned Arthur once in 22 years, and she wouldn't call that going on.  She then says, "Yes, he could've done better, and, no, you're not gonna sell my house.

The trio emerge from the house.  A Spiros sign goes up.  They haven't seen Pluthero lately. 

The girls go to Miss Bird's and see six milk bottles on the stoop.  Pluthero emerges after Miss Bird and says it was a real pleasure.  After he leaves, she tells the girls he's a wonderful man.  They give up on her.

Robin goes to talk to the blonde with the poodle, Hazel Lovett.  She's played by Aimi MacDonald, whose screen career ranges from 1965 to 2008.  Her horror film (I don't think from Hammer) was Old Drac, the year after this movie. 

Hazel hands Robin her dog as she signs.  In her high-pitched voice, she says she doesn't own the house.  It belongs to a gentleman friend.

Celebratory music plays as a Spiros sign goes up at Miss Bird's.  Pluthero yawns, worn out from his night's work.

Jo says they need one more signature to make it to 1000.  Chrissy says there must be someone they know who hasn't signed it yet.  It turns out Robin hasn't.  Mr. Roper calls him stupid and laughs.

Sir Edmund:  Outside the local MP's office, we see signs that say "Sir Edmund Weir:  Man of the People."  Chrissy goes up the steps.

Inside, Sir Edmund strikes a pose like on his poster, with a V for Victory sign.  He's played by Patrick Newell, who appeared in four Sherlock Holmes movies.  He also did 22 episodes of The Avengers.

Chrissy comes in while he's posing.  He stops.  He says he's been in the House.  The Prime Minister was speaking for over an hour.
Chrissy:  What about?
Sir Edmund:  He didn't say.

She says she's one of his constituents and she wants him to accept a petition to save six Edwardian houses from being pulled down for office blocks.  She says he's the President of the Preserve London Society.  He says, "My wife gets me involved with the most extraord--", then breaks off.

She says that 1000 people signed.  When he hears "Myddleton Terrace," he's very surprised.  He says they're charming row houses, and they can't be pulled down.

Saucebox:  We cut to Hazel, carrying the poodle, answering her phone.  Sir Edmund is on the other line.  He calls her Darling, and himself Poopsie.  We have to assume that Chrissy has left the office, although there are no shots to establish this.

Hazel asks if he's coming round tonight.  He can't because it's his wife's birthday.  Hazel has a new gymslip.  According to Wikipedia, this is "a sleeveless tunic with a pleated skirt most commonly seen as part of a girl's school uniform," used for athletic wear.  It seems to have a pornographic connotation, sort of like Catholic schoolgirl uniforms.  It's given a twist here when  Hazel adds that the gymslip is in his size.  He says he'll stop by for just five minutes.

He says she should've told him about the proposed building development.  She says she hasn't seen him for ages and he said never to ring him at home.  He says he'll put a stop to the development. 
Sir Edmund:  They don't like publicity, these development boys.
Hazel:  Why not?  You do.

He says that's different.  He doesn't want to be a back-bencher all his life.  There's no harm in letting the public know the things you do.  She says, "Not all the things you do," and giggles.  He calls her a saucebox.  Then he asks if the gymslip is green or navy blue.

Snigatures:  Later, Mildred reads an article about Sir Edmund's speech condemning the development.  George is clipping his nails.  She tells him to not do it in the lounge.  He'll have somebody's eye out.  He suggests the kitchen, but she says she's got salad on the table.  She calls him a pig.

Upstairs, Jo and Chrissy read aloud bits of articles about the development.  Chrissy's has typos, like "snigatures."  Robin says that must be The Guardian.  (This newspaper was so well known for its typos in the days of hot-metal typesetting that its nickname was The Grauniad.) 

Jo suggests that for their next move they occupy the building, in the '60s protest sense.  Chrissy says they're already occupying it, since they've got a lease.  Jo says that's so much the better, since it would be legal.

Meanwhile, Robin is looking at a Page Three girl, probably in The Sun tabloid.

He asks the girls if they fancy a game of something.  They don't want cards, so he suggests Monopoly, but half the money's missing.  He gets the box and says they could play for something else, meaning Strip Monopoly.  However, Chrissy's granddad taught her to play and she always wins.

Sublet:  Meanwhile, Pluthero visits Sir Edmund's office.  Sir Edmund is cutting up the articles about his speech.  Pluthero says Sir Edmund hasn't spoken out so much in years, not since the purchase tax on gymslips.  Sir Edmund says he'll be speaking out on television tomorrow.

Pluthero points out that Sir Edmund owns one of the Myddleton Terrace properties, #5.  Sir Edmund says it's good to have a house in your own constituency, but he seldom uses it.  Miss Hazel Lovett occupies it.  Pluthero asks if Miss Lovett is a friend of Sir Edmund, or perhaps of "your good lady wife."  Sir Edmund shows the paper dolls he's been making.

Then we see another Spiros sign go up, with that triumphant music.

Silly:  George tells Mildred that the developers got next door.  They have all the houses except the Ropers' now.  That gives the Ropers a strong bargaining position if they were selling, which they're not.

She's going into town to buy a see-through nightie.  That way, if she ever dies a violent death, he'll stand a fair chance of recognising the body.  After she leaves, he says to the budgie, "Silly bitch."

As she goes down the steps, Pluthero watches from his limo across the street.  He goes over to the house when the coast is clear.

George says it's typical of women, they're selfish.  Mildred has never given him anything but the budgie.  Then when he calls the budgie Arthur, he suddenly realises why Mildred chose that name.

But before he can process this, the doorbell for the building rings.  He lets in Pluthero, who says that since George's lady wife is out, they can talk man to man.  George says he was expecting Pluthero, since this is the last house.

Pluthero says he dropped in to apologise about the inconvenience there'll be, with dust, noise, and possibly vermin.  It may reduce the property value.  George says he'll only sell the house for the same price as the others.  Pluthero accepts this.

Then George tells him about the sitting tenants with a three-year lease.  Pluthero says, "Are you suggesting I knock down the bottom half and leave an upper?"  George says no but Pluthero can still buy the house.  Pluthero asks which tenant signed the lease.

A small business matter:  We cut to Chrissy walking down the street.  Pluthero's red Rolls rolls up.  He gets out and cheerfully greets her.  He asks if she's off to lunch.  He can give her a lift or even buy her lunch.  She's suspicious but gets into his car.  He says he'll pay for lunch just for the pleasure of her company.  And there's a small business matter.  She says she knows a very nice little restaurant.

We're about two-thirds in, 56 minutes.  To be continued....

The Movie, Part One

Man about the House (the movie) was released on 22 December 1974, so it falls between the third and fourth series, but it feels somehow earlier, later, and parallel-universe.

Credits:  Against a red background, we see unflattering drawings of the main cast, like Chrissy looking like Stockard Channing on a bad day, and Jo with horsy teeth rather than a cute overbite.  Meanwhile, a drippy female singer apparently adopts Chrissy's POV, telling us, "It's not easy when he's always been a man about the house," when she has feelings for him.  He's "so close to home and yet so far away," and "love was on my doorstep all the while."  It's a Hammer production and so far looks like a horror of a different sort.

The drawing of row houses fades to a real shot of row houses, on Myddleton [sic] Terrace NW8.

Three's a crowd:  Then the camera pans across a garishly coloured lounge, with purple wallpaper, and orange and red highlights.  We hear voices offscreen and learn that Jo and perhaps her flatmates are in the bath.  Jo says, "I wish you two would get out."  Chrissy says there's not enough room for the three of them.

Unlike on the television programme, the kitchen is to the right of the screen, with the bathroom to the right of that.  It turns out that Robin and Chrissy are sharing the mirror, with Jo by herself in the tub, with bubbles.

Chrissy goes in the kitchen.  Jo tells Robin she can't get out of the bath till he goes.  He's shaving but he says he'll shut his eyes.

She grabs a towel and wraps it around herself.  She says they must get the lock fixed.  He says that would take the suspense out of taking a bath.  He dries his hands on her towel till she objects.  He offers to dry her off.

He goes in the kitchen.  He's annoyed that Chrissy keeps cooking eggs.  It's actually Jo's turn to cook but she burnt the bacon and sausages.  Chrissy points out that he likes cooking and they don't.  He says it's part of the female's function to provide food.  She says it wasn't the rooster who laid the eggs. 

He says he's not a male chauvinist.  She says she thinks he is. 
Robin:  What do you know about it?  You're only a woman.
Chrissy:  Honestly, I'd have nothing to do with men if they weren't the opposite sex.

Jo enters in a white dressing gown. 

Robin says he'll take the bolt from their bedroom door and put it on the bathroom door.

The Ropers:  We go outside to where Larry's pulling up in his yellow VW.  He's going to give Robin and Chrissy a lift.  Mrs. Roper, wearing a frilly pink nightdress, is getting the milk from the doorstep.  He blows her a kiss.  She, Robin, and Chrissy exchange good mornings in the entryway. 

The Ropers' flat is on the left side of the screen, rather than the right.  It looks different inside, too.  She says, "George, those cigarettes are gonna be the death of you."  One thing hasn't changed, and they bicker.

Wonderbug:  It's Jo's day off, which is why Larry isn't driving her anywhere.  He puts his hand on Chrissy's knee to shift into second, but it's unclear if he's being fresh or if this is just part of his bad driving.  We get several shots of a sight familiar to any student of 1970s lightweight film:  a VW being driven crazily down the street.

Robin says, "It's no good closing your eyes."  You can do the punch line here, that he's not talking to Chrissy.

Robin suggests Larry drop them off and they'll walk.  Chrissy says it's safer in the car, since he can't knock them over.

We learn that Robin has a part-time job as a chef.  He says they're looking for a waiter and Larry should apply.

Larry even drives on the sidewalk! 

He drops Chrissy off at Maida Vale Station, which is an Underground stop in "inner northwest London."  The area has many Victorian and Edwardian houses.

Robin gets in the front seat and the men continue on their way.  Robin looks worn out, so Larry says, "If I shared a flat with two birds, I wouldn't get out of bed either."  Robin says the girls have put a new lock on their bedroom door, and now he can't get out of the room.

Larry drops him off at the technical college.

First priority:  Robin's instructor has a bow tie and glasses.  I think he's the one listed as "lecturer" in the credits, which means he's played by Aubrey Morris, who has screen appearances covering half a century, among them, Blood Beast from Outer Space (1965), If It's Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium (1969), A Clockwork Orange (1971), Space: 1999 (1975), and two cameos on Murder She Wrote.  He often plays professors and the like.

Here, Robin is his only male student.  We learn that Robin lives only five minutes away but he's always late.  The lecturer asks him the first priority of the kitchen.  Robin says it must remain spotless.

Daffodil:  As Robin continues in voiceover, we switch to a very messy kitchen, with an equally filthy chef.  The chef is unnamed but the actor Bill Maynard has credits ranging from 1957 to 2003, mostly notably as "Selwyn Froggitt" on two separate programmes, although my favourite credit of his is "Guy Fawkes" in Carry on Henry VIII.   When Robin tries to talk hygiene, the chef says you can't "tart about when you have to prepare 60 meals a day.  I can't hardly pick my nose as it is."  ("Tart about" just means to mess around in a non-sexual way.  "Screw around" in its platonic sense would be an American equivalent.)

The chef is cooking as he smokes.

Larry comes in as a waiter and gives an order verbally to the chef.  The chef makes chocolate ice cream out of vanilla by saying Abracadabra and then suggesting they cover it in curry powder.

While the chef is out of the room, Robin asks Larry, "How can anyone create classical cuisine in here?"

When the chef comes back, he tells them about Daffodil having her bottom scraped.  But Daffodil is a boat he worked on.  He took two nurses on it because they fancied a bit of the rough.  You have to be subtle with nurses, so he had them play strip poker.

Robin suggests garlic salt in the batter.  The chef asks if he's a poof.

Spiros:  Chrissy is sitting upstairs on a double-decker.  Robin comes up and sits next to her.  He talks about work a bit.  They pass an "Acquired by Spiros" sign and she speaks out against developers.  He keeps hinting about cards.

Then we switch to their street, where there's a surveyor, and a man looking at a map.  This man is much later revealed to be Morris Pluthero, and he's played by Peter Cellier.  His first screen appearance was back in 1955 and he's still working today, at the age of 82 or 83.  So of course he did Dr. Who, in 1982.

As Robin and Chrissy walk along, he says he's not going on about cards.  But he's pleased to hear she bought new underwear.  Pluthero bids them good afternoon but they don't know who he is yet.

Duty:  At the Ropers', he's looking at a letter with an embossed letterhead, from Spiros.  She doesn't want to sell their house but he does.  They could get full market value. 

She says that's always been his trouble, greed.  She talks about their wedding reception, showing him a picture of their wedding day.  It was time to cut the cake, and he was "round the boozer, collecting the empties."  (This is "boozer" in the sense of the bar, rather than a person.)

He says he did his duty on their honeymoon.  She scoffs.

He was recently talking to Hazel, the blonde next door, the one with the poodle.  Everyone on the block got letters.  Mildred is jealous, but George says he only knows her because "she nipped me once or twice in the ankle."  Insert line about meaning the poodle, not Hazel.

Mildred is going to phone around.  She thinks it's time they had a meeting of the Residents Association.

We're just following ancient history:  Robin and Chrissy are watching the telly, what turns out to be a wolfman movie.  Robin snuggles up against her.
Chrissy:  Look, I haven't time to mess about.  Are you after my body?
Robin:  Of course.
Chrissy:  Sorry.  It's already booked to do the washing up.

Soft music plays as he pours himself a drink and smokes while she's out of the room.  He sets down his cigarette and drink.  He gets a deck of cards.

He puts on a Snoopy jumper and then a blue jacket.  He goes in the kitchen and asks where Jo is.  Chrissy says Jo is in the bathroom.

He goes right in without knocking. 
Jo:  I might've been stark naked.
Robin:  Not with my luck.

He says he and Chrissy are going to play strip poker. 
Robin:  We need a third but she said you're too prudish.
Jo:  What?

Then he returns to the kitchen and tells Chrissy that he and Jo are going to play strip poker. 
Robin:  She says you won't play because you're too prudish.
Chrissy:  She's right.
Robin:  She is?

Disappointed, he goes back to the lounge.  Then Jo comes into the kitchen, and the girls figure out the trick he was trying to play on them.

They clear off the kitchen table as he takes off the blue jacket and starts to take off Snoopy.  Chrissy yells, "We're ready when you are."  He quickly puts those clothes back on and goes into the kitchen.

He asks how you play strip poker.  Jo says she supposes you play with clothes instead of money.

Chrissy:  Should I, whatchamacallit, hand the cards out?
Robin:  (smiling) Yes, deal, that's the word.
Then she shuffles like a pro.  It turns out her dad taught her to play poker. 

Jo passes and then goes out.  A sock turns out to equal half a tight.  He bids another sock, so she bids a skirt.  He says, "I'll raise your skirt with my trousers."

Arthur Mulgrove:  Downstairs, the wolfman movie ends. 

Mildred:  You know, George?  That wolfman was the spitting image of an army sergeant I used to go around with.
George:  What?  All hairy and that?
Mildred:  No, when he was normal.

The sergeant's name was Arthur Mulgrove.  She nearly married him, but he didn't ask her.  George says he sounds like a sensible sort of fellow.

She says that when the Wolfman ripped the blouse off the helpless maiden, it sent shivers right down her spine.  That these were pleasant shivers is clear when she asks seductively, "Coming to bed, George?"  But he's going to make a sandwich and then tell the trio about the meeting tomorrow night.

After he leaves the room, she says, "Arthur Mulgrove," and shivers happily.

Pairs:  Back upstairs, Robin, who's now topless, says that Chrissy's father must've been a bloody good poker player.

He opens with his underpants.  Jo says he hasn't much choice.  Chrissy bids a shoe.  When he says this is too low, she bets two shoes.  Jo goes out, as she's apparently done every time.

Robin wants to put on one piece of his discarded clothing, but Chrissy won't let him.  She has a full house, 10s and 2s.  He has four jacks.  She takes off her platforms.  He thinks his luck has changed now.

Jo passes.  Robin again opens with his underpants.  Chrissy bets a blouse.  Jo goes out.

Robin:  Well, I've got a pair.
Chrissy:  Let's have a look at them then.
Robin:  What do you mean?
Chrissy:  I've got a pair, too.

He's got two queens but she's got two aces.  Jo wants him to pay up.  Chrissy says, "It's of no interest to me.  I was brought up on a farm."  Jo giggles as she says, "I've never seen anyone blush over such a large area."

Robin takes his underpants off and sets them on the table with the other clothes.

The doorbell rings.  The girls smile and want him to answer it.  He's says he's starkers. 
Jo:  I won't look.
Chrissy:  I will!  He would've done if it was one of us.
Jo:  You're right.  I will look.

He hands Chrissy the deck of cards.  Then he yanks the tablecloth off the table and wears it wrapped around his lower half.  Spanish music plays and he says, "Olé!"

After he leaves the room, Jo says he cheated.  Chrissy says he's not the only one, and she reveals that the deck contains five black aces.

In the hallway, Mr. Roper is surprised to see Robin in a tablecloth.  Robin says the curtain is at the dry cleaner's.  Mr. Roper tells him about the Residents Association meeting.

The Meeting:  Then we get one of the longest scenes in the movie, with more of the cast gathered in one spot than at any other point.  I'll note that two of the residents, Miss Bird and Hazel, are there, the latter with her poodle, but I won't talk about them until they have lines.  Also, I'll  break this scene up into parts for easier digestion.

We're in a pub, but it's not the Mucky Duck or the White Swan.  Mrs. Roper is sitting at a rectangular table on one side of the room.  She has outdone herself sartorially, wearing a leopard coat over her red & white outfit.  She says they need volunteers.

Robin stands up, but he volunteers Chrissy.  They're both wearing lots of denim.

Larry's landlord, Mr. Gideon, is there, not played by John Carlin but by Michael Ward.  Mr. Ward was then 65, with credits going back to 1947.  He actually did a Jack Benny episode, but his roles were mostly in British movies, many with fantastic titles, such as Maniacs on Wheels, High Jinks in Society, The Galloping Major, Whispering Smith Investigates, Finger of Guilt, Carry on Regardless, Ouch!, and Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell.  That last movie is of particular note, one, because it was the last Hammer Frankenstein movie, and two, he plays "Transvest."  In this, his other 1974 film, he plays Mr. Gideon as much more overtly gay than the television version.

He says the natural leaders need to step forward.  His boyfriend, Nigel, stands up but Mr. Gideon means himself.  Nigel is played by Melvyn Hayes, then 39, although the character seems to be meant to be in his 20s.  Mr. Hayes's first credit is from 1954 and he's still working to this day, mostly on television.  He did a Hammer Frankenstein movie, too, playing "Young Victor" in 1957's The Curse of Frankenstein, with Peter Cushing as the older Victor.  He also played "bad boys" in adaptations of classic literature, such as Dan in Jo's Boys (1959) and the Artful Dodger in a 1962 version of Oliver Twist.  He probably looked younger than his age for a long time.

Mrs. Roper wants Chrissy to start them all off.  So Chrissy puts Robin on the spot, but he stammers.

Chrissy:  What you're trying to say is this community can not survive, unless we all join together and fight this scheme.
Robin:  Yes.
Chrissy:  And we ought to do something positive. 
Robin:  Oh, absolutely.
Chrissy:  Like what?
Robin:  Eh?  Well, like, erm.
Chrissy:  Perhaps you think we ought to organise a petition to our MP.
Robin:  Yes, that's exactly what I was thinking of.

The towels go off the bar, which I thinks means that it's now late enough to serve alcohol.  (Remember how in No Children, No Dogs it was supposed to be too late to serve it?)  The meeting understandably breaks up.  Mrs. Roper says, "So much for community spirit."  We go to a dissolve.

The Greeks had a word for it:  When we return, Mr. Pluthero is buying drinks for the gay couple.  Mr. Gideon gets an ouzo & soda, while Nigel gets Retsina with a cherry. 

Chrissy says they need a carefully worded petition about houses being pulled down for office blocks.  "You can do anything in London except live.  London needs houses, not great concrete blocks."  Robin goes to the bar to get her a tomato juice, Jo a lager.

George doesn't see the point of a petition.  Mildred reiterates that no one is going to sell their houses.

Mr. Gideon talks about a little bar near the Acropolis.  Nigel says, "He's bonkers about the Ancient Greeks."  Mr. Pluthero says it was a marvelous civilisation, where the friendship of an older man for a lad was not misunderstood.

Mr. Gideon thinks Nigel looks like Apollo.  If you put Michelangelo's Apollo on a motorbike, that would be Nigel to a tee.  Mr. Pluthero asks Nigel is he likes the bouzouki (a Greek lute).  Nigel says, "Nah, I prefer the Yamaha Superbike."

Mr. Pluthero says property is so cheap in Greece, hinting at what they could buy if they sold their house.  Then he says they don't want to spoil the social evening by talking about business.

Blind:  The Ropers and the trio are now sitting at a table, as Mr. Roper tells war stories.  He says that Hitler did his best trying to knock these houses down during the war.  Those were good days then, because a man had to do his duty.  His wife says that "duty" is one of his favourite words.  He was an ARP (Air Raid Precautions) warden then.

Robin excuses himself to go talk with Larry.  It's been two months for Larry and he's going to go blind.  Any guesses on what he's talking about, wink wink?  He's been thinking about asking Jo if she fancies coming for a drive.

Mr. Roper says they used to put stuff in the tea, to keep their minds on the job, probably talking about saltpetre.  His wife says, "Off the job, George."

Jo excuses herself from the table.  Mr. Roper asks Chrissy if she remembers ration books, but she of course doesn't.

Jo goes over to Robin and Larry.  The latter asks her if she has any plans for the rest of the evening.

Mr. Roper is now talking about the food during the war.  He says they used to get a bit of meat about that long, showing with his hands.  His wife says, "That's what I used to get, George." 

Chrissy excuses herself from the table.  Mildred says, "Well, George, I think that's a new record.  You bored three people in two minutes."

Larry is telling Jo, "Just for a drive, mind you.  Fresh air."  He puts his arm around her when they walk away from Robin and Chrissy.

Robin tells Chrissy that this gives the two of them a chance to go back to the flat and get it together.  He claims he's talking about the petition.

This puts us roughly one-third into the movie, 29 minutes of the 85.  To be continued....

"Three of a Kind"

The last episode of the third series of MatH is not bad but it's not terribly memorable either.  The "poker" episode of 3'sC offers bad puns ("Poker-hontas") and a strip element.  This episode, "Three of a Kind," is milder.  It aired on 20 November 1974.

Derek:  We start with an aerial shot of Robin and two of his mates playing poker.  We know Larry of course.  The new fellow, with the sandy hair, moustache, and beard, is called Derek.  The actor, Jeremy Bulloch, was born in '45 and has credits spanning over 50 years, the most notable being seven episodes of Dr. Who, in '65, '73, and '74.

Robin is winning the game, and failing to be modest about it.

Larry tells a dirty joke about three old ladies and a well-built burglar.  The girls come in before he finishes.  Robin tries to signal to him.  When Larry sees the girls, he says he forgot the ending.  Jo says she heard the joke on Stars on Sunday (a music program then in the middle of its decade-long run).

The girls notice how smoky the room is.  Chrissy says they should hang a goverment health warning on the door.  As Chrissy tidies up, Jo sprays a pine-scented air freshener.

Robin's throat is bad.  He's been treating it with fags, beers, crisps, and peanuts.  Derek wants to examine it.  He'll be a fully fledged doctor in a year.  Everyone peers down Robin's throat.  Derek says Robin's tonsils will have to come out.  Chrissy asks if she should go get the bread knife.

Toby jug:  Downstairs, George is figuring out whom to bet on in a football match.  He and Mildred argue about the money in her toby jug.  ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jug_(container)#Toby_Jug )  She's saving up for a new winter coat.

Back upstairs, the two guests leave.  The girls think Robin's throat is getting worse.  He says he's fine, and don't argue with an invalid.

Dr. McLeod:  Robin gives in to his friends' pressure, and the next scene is set in a doctor's office.  In a rare continuity error, Derek introduces Robin to Dr. McLeod, even though this doctor was treating Robin on "Match of the Day."  Duncan Lamont, by the way, was also doing Dr. Who in '74.

Robin says he doesn't believe in doctors.  McLeod assures him that they exist.  He asks if Robin has a temperature.  Robin says, "Everyone has, haven't they?"

McLeod is annoyed by Derek's kibitzing, but Derek's diagnosis is correct.  Robin has tonsillitis.  Derek has already arranged for Dr. Berkeley-Jones to operate, and he's reserved a bed for Robin.  Dr. McLeod says maybe he's misjudged Derek, who'd make a good consultant.

Idiot:  At the trio's flat later, Mr. Roper is again fixing the kitchen taps, badly.  Chrissy goes in the lounge and says Roper's an idiot.  Jo agrees.

Robin enters and says he's going to the hospital tomorrow.  He's nervous, so Jo says she had her tonsils out.  It left a scar.  She points to her waist.

Chrissy says at least they're not snipping out bits that are useful.  Robin says all of his bits are useful.

Mr. Roper comes in and tells a story from the war, about one of his mates who had his tonsils out and died, but from a buzz bomb.  After he leaves, Robin calls him an idiot.

One reason Robin is nervous is that he's heard of hospital mix-ups, like a man going in for ingrown toenails but having a baby.  Chrissy says it's the easiest operation there is, but she keeps putting her foot in her mouth.

Robin says that the last time he was in hospital, they held him up by the ankles and spanked his bottom.  We assume he means when he was born, although you never know.

The three of them have gone into the kitchen, so Chrissy says that the operation is as easy as putting a washer on a tap.  So when she turns on the water, it shoots out at her.  Robin lightly embraces Jo as they laugh.

Headstone:  The next morning, Chrissy stops Robin from eating since he's going to have an operation.  He talks about dying, so she asks him why he always dramatises.  He hands her a box with his insurance policies and all his savings.  Trying to look sombre, she says, "I've already ordered the headstone." 

When Robin leaves, apparently either catching the bus to the hospital or going on foot, Jo says they'll see him on Tuesday.  After he goes, Chrissy says the next few days aren't going to be pleasant.
Jo:  For him?
Chrissy:  For me, 'cause you're gonna be doing the cooking.

72:  In the hospital, a young nurse takes Robin's pulse, 72.  He gets it mixed up with his temperature.  And then when Derek comes in, he does the same.  She's not impressed with him, and after she leaves, he says that they (nurses) won't speak to you when you're a student, but "the minute you qualify, they have the trousers off you."

He tells Robin that Dr. Berkeley-Jones is a good doctor who hardly drinks at all anymore, at least not during surgery.  He doesn't sound like he's joking.  And he thinks that Robin ruined this afternoon's poker session.

The girls come in and Jo calls Derek doctor before recognising him.  Robin says Derek isn't a doctor because he still has his trousers on.

After Derek leaves, Robin says Derek is in a bad mood because of the poker game.  He jokes about Chrissy running the game.  She doesn't think it's funny.  He says poker is a man's game.  She says that in Moscow the women sweep snow and dig ditches.  If men can play poker, so can women.

Robin admits that there are certain things women are good at.
Chrissy:  Yeah, bearing children, cooking, and washing up.
Robin:  No, you missed out on the one I was thinking of.

She says she'll bet his money in the box, since it's only his poker winnings.  He asks if she can play poker.  She says, "What a daft question!"

Ashtray:  Back at the flat, Chrissy is trying to memorise poker hands from The Illustrated Book of Card Games.  Jo thinks Chrissy should've told Robin she can't play.  Chrissy says she wouldn't give him the satisfaction.  She sticks a note to the bottom of the ashtray.  (It goes right on without tape, so perhaps she's invented the post-it note.)

She lets in Larry, who's wearing his Oxford sweatshirt.  She says he was supposed to be there by 3.30.  He says next time he'll bring a note.

Jo puts a floral arrangement on the card table.  And she's going to be serving cucumber sandwiches and barley water.

We briefly switch to the entryway, where Derek comes in and accidentally bumps into Mr. Roper.  George tells him that Robin is in hospital.  Derek says, "Larry and I are carrying on with Chrissy," but he means poker.  George is intrigued by the possibility of gambling.

Derek goes into the trio's flat.  He says Robin is worried, but about his money, rather than the surgery.

We find out that Jo is also serving fairy cakes, smaller versions of cupcakes.  She encourages the others to use napkins.  Larry has her move the flowers, since that's where the pot goes, as in kitty. 

Chrissy thinks 10p a bet is too much.  They'll do 1p.  She says they're here for a social afternoon, not to win money off each other. 

She consults the ashtray to see how to play.  Larry gets suspicious but lets it go.

No limit:  Downstairs, George listens to the match on the radio.  They lose.  Mildred says he's gambling mad.

He sneaks the money out of her toby jar and goes upstairs, allegedly to work on the water tap.

Larry has won the last three hands, winning a grand total of 8p.  Mr. Roper comes in, looking gleeful.  He invites himself to play, but when he hears the limit, he says that he'll look at the water tap.  The men offer to help.

Chrissy reluctantly offers to make the limit 2p.  Larry says there's no limit.  She's unhappy about that.

Mr. Roper moves the ashtray.  When Chrissy objects, he says he didn't know she smoked.  She says she doesn't, but she likes to keep it handy in case she starts.

Bluffing:  Back in the hospital, the nurse rolls in a phone on a cart.  Robin is about to get an injection, but he takes the call.  Chrissy asks about poker.  She admits she lied.  It's down to her and Mr. Roper.  Robin asks if Mr. Roper is bluffing.  "I don't know, I'll ask him."  He stops her.

She tells him her not very impressive hand as the nurse gives him an injection in the bum.  (He's facing us and partially covered by the sheet.)  He tells Chrissy she has an unbeatable hand.  After he hangs up, the nurse, suddenly sounding very Scottish, says, "I wouldn't have the nerve to tell a great big whopper like that just before I went into the operating theatre." 

The actress playing her, Louisa Martin, in 1971 had a recurring role on Emmerdale Farm, a program that's still running to this day, although shortened to Emmerdale.  A couple decades after this episode, she had a recurring role on Avonlea. 

Chrissy has Jo get the rentbook.  She bets Mr. Roper's five pounds plus another ten.  She smiles.  He gives in. 

Then Derek sees her poker hand.  Larry is amused that she was bluffing.  She's mad with Robin for lying to her.

But this is nothing to the fury of Mrs. Roper when she shows up in the doorway.

Accident:  In the closing scene, Mrs. Roper checks on Robin in hospital.  She and George had to go to outpatients.  He had a little accident.  An empty toby jug fell on his head.  Robin is sympathetic until George comes in with a huge bandage on his forehead.  Robin and Mildred laugh, he especially, so much it looks like the actors are breaking character.

Commentary:  When money is involved in the Battle of the Sexes, the results can get ugly.  Not only do we have Mrs. Roper hitting her husband with a toby jug, but Chrissy is prepared to gamble away the rent money, just to prove she can play poker as well as a man.  And Jo doesn't even try to stop her.

Jo in the last section of the episode ends up in the role of hostess, with all the feminine touches like flowers and cucumber sandwiches.  It's ironic that when Chrissy lists off stereotypical things that women are supposed to be good at, she mentions cooking, even though she's just complained about Jo's cooking.  (I don't know why Chrissy never cooks.  Perhaps she's even worse.)  Hopefully the fairy cakes are store-bought.

I like that the nurse is played for neither stereotype of "hot nurse" nor "cold nurse."  She's just a woman doing her job.

This episode offers an example of Larry trying to behave himself around Chrissy and Jo, not finishing his dirty joke, which they already heard on television anyway.

Looking back on the third series, I think it starts out well but becomes weaker.  The addition of Larry as a tenant is good, but the last few plots are less interesting.  I'm curious to see what happens in the fourth series, but first there will be a cinematic interlude.

"We Shall Not Be Moved"

The nineteenth episode of MatH doesn't have an American counterpart, although this plot certainly would've worked for 3'sC, considering the number of times Stanley Roper threatens eviction.  "We Shall Not Be Moved" aired on 13 November 1974.

The male mind revisited:  The episode opens in the kitchen, as Jo is cooking something we never see or hear about, and the other two are playing chess.
Robin:  Now, don't misunderstand me, Chrissy.  I mean, I like girls.  You know, they're my favourite opposite sex.  I'm just saying that they are different from men.
Chrissy:  Yes, helpless, feather-brained sex objects.
Jo:  Leave me out of it.

He says it's been proved scientifically that the woman's brain is lighter than the man's.  Chrissy says perhaps it gets more exercise.

He asks where are your female mathematicians, philosophers, or writers.  Wikipedia lists quite a few each of mathematicians and philosophers, but Chrissy decides to answer the last part of his question, probably because there are more household names.  She mentions the Bronte sisters, Elizabeth Barrett Browning, and Jane Austen.  So he adds in children's author Enid Blyton.  He says women write lightweight stuff.  "Where's your Gulag Archipelago?"  ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gulag_Archipelago ).  Jo says it's at the base of the spine.

Robin says chess is the ultimate example.  The male mind can cope with it, because it's pure applied logic.  Chrissy points out that he's put his queen where the king should be.  He says he was just testing her.

The doorbell rings and Jo lets in Mrs. Roper, who says she's on the scrounge.  She wants to borrow their suitcase.  She's going to visit her sister in Purley, which is in the south of London.  She's looking forward to it, especially since George isn't going. 

Her sister has a swimming pool, kidney-shaped since the brother-in-law is in the meat trade.  Robin says it's lucky the man doesn't doctor cats for a living.  (We'd say "fix" them.)  Mrs. Roper has tried to persuade her husband to go in the pool, knowing he can't swim.

Jo brings out a suitcase, saying they only have two, their best and a tatty one.  Of course Mrs. Roper thinks this one is tatty, when it's their best.

After Mrs. Roper leaves, Jo tells Robin not to worry about the chess game.  "You'll get that piece back when you change ends at half-time."

Ethel:  When we switch to downstairs, we see that Mrs. Roper's leopard-print slacks have a matching jacket.  She's packing. 

George can't stand her sister Ethel or nameless brother-in-law, the latter a show-off, like her brother in "While the Cat's Away."  This brother-in-law has a wine cellar. 

Mildred sits down and complains about the spring in the settee.

Her taxi shows up.  She asks George if he'll miss her.
George:  I'll miss you as much as you'll miss me.
Mildred:  I see.

She says she'll be back in a week.  He reluctantly kisses her goodbye, then wipes his mouth.

As soon as she goes out the front door, he takes out a folded piece of paper and laughs mischievously.

Waugh:  Robin moves the chess game into the lounge since the light is better there.  Chrissy is winning.  She takes his queen.  He says the bright light is giving him a headache.

The doorbell rings.  As Robin goes to answer it, Jo comes up with "another famous woman writer, Evelyn Waugh."

Mr. Roper comes in but takes awhile to get to the point.  He takes out the folded paper, which turns out to be their lease that expired three weeks ago.  Robin thinks Mr. Roper wants to raise the rent, but Mr. Roper wants to evict them.  It won't be immediately.  The end of the week will do.

Jerry:  The next scene introduces George's friend, Jerry, who'll be making two more appearances on MatH, plus a few on George & Mildred.  He's played by Roy Kinnear, who not only did a load of British television, including That Was the Week That Was and The Avengers, but some film roles as well, most memorably as Veruca Salt's father in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory.  Jerry isn't exactly a pleasant fellow, but it's delightful to see Roy Kinnear.

Jerry tells George that he's doing the right thing.  Using George's beer, Jerry draws the trio's flat on the table, not to scale.  He shows George how they can make five self-contained dwelling units, for 15 quid a week each.  Bill the bartender (uncredited) wipes the table down.

George doesn't know how Mildred will take it, although we can guess.  Jerry says by the time she gets back, "they're out, we're in, fate accomplished."

George invites him over.  He found out where Mildred hid the Scotch.

Twit:  Chrissy is on the phone.  After she hangs up, she says that the Citizens' Advice Bureau said that Mr. Roper has to give them three months' notice in writing.  "And even then, he has to apply for a possession order.  And even then, we can appeal to the rent tribunal."

They wonder who should tell Mr. Roper.  Jo volunteers, but Robin dismisses her.  She says, "You've got me marked down as a twit, haven't you?"  When he includes her, she says she can't because she'll never remember it all.  Chrissy says she'll do it, but not on her own.

Emotional blackmail:  George tells Jerry he found the Scotch in the drawer with his clean underpants.  Mildred obviously reckoned he wouldn't change while she was away.  (For a week?)  Jerry calls her a cunning cow.

George says she doesn't scare him, he wears the pants in the house.  Jerry jokes, "And the underwear."

Jerry says he has half of his workforce standing by, although that turns out to be only one man.  George asks about the furniture.  Jerry says it's very nice, except for the spring sticking up his backside.  George means the furniture upstairs.  Jerry says he has a couple fellows who can put it in storage.

The kids come by to have a word.  George introduces his friend, saying, "He's, er, Jerry."  Robin hears this as "He's a Jerry," probably because Mr. Roper is established as hating Germans.  Robin tells Jerry, "Welcome to Britain."

Robin and Chrissy don't know how to put it.  Then Jo calmly says, "Well, you can't evict us without three months' notice in writing, which we can challenge, requiring you to apply for a possession order.  Then we can appeal to the rent tribunal."

Jerry makes up a story about Mr. Roper needing the flat for his mother.  She's dying and wants to spend her last days with her only son.  Unless George has seven sisters, that part is a lie, too. 

Robin says the flat is rather large for one old lady, but Jerry says there will be a full-time nurse.  He claims George didn't tell them because that would've been emotional blackmail.

They give in and leave.  George tells Jerry his mother has been dead for eleven years.

Wombles:  Chrissy is on the phone again, this time ringing up places for rent, as Robin and Jo check the newspaper.  Jo sees one out of their league, a three-bedroom flat for 45 pounds a week.  It's in Wimbledon Common, so Robin says it's expensive because of all those Wombles spotters.  ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wombles )

Jo finds something else interesting after Chrissy is off the phone.
Jo:  "Not a day for speaking your mind.  Those close to you may become impatient."
Robin:  Stop reading your horoscope!

Robin is going to ring up about a flat for three people to share.  It's only twice as much as they can afford.  But when he gets the landlady on the phone, she asks if he's suntanned and if he has frizzy hair.
Chrissy:  She wants to know if you're coloured, and she's not allowed to ask.
Robin:  (with an exaggerated "black" accent) Well, hush my mouth, Soul Sister!  I's a whitey, sho nuff, and no cotton-- She's hung up.

Filing cabinet:  We get a transition of a view of the rental ads with a few circled, as inappropriately cheerful music plays.

Then we're in a rental office, where the young agent is played by Derek Seaton, who was one of the policemen on "It's Only Money."  Robin and Chrissy tell him that they want something suitable for three to share.  Seeing only two of them, he asks, "Are you pregnant?"  Neither of them is, but the third flatmate is using her lunch hour to eat.  They're taking turns.

They can afford eight pounds each at most. 

The phone rings and as the agent answers, he tells Robin to have a look in the filing cabinet.  Robin tells Chrissy he doesn't think it'll be big enough for the three of them.  She laughs.

The agent writes down one promising prospect, two bedrooms for twelve a week.

After he hangs up, Robin says there are only two flats listed.  The agent says actually there's only one now.  It's a one-bedroom flat.  Robin considers it but Chrissy gives him a dubious yet amused look.

She asks about the phone call, but the agent wants it himself.  That's the reason he took this job.  It's the only way to find a decent flat in London.

Tears of joy:  We get another shot of rental ads, this time with ads both circled and crossed out.

Then we see the girls at the pub.  Jo sees a listing for a cheap houseboat in Camden, probably cheap because there's no river in Camden. 

Robin comes back from visiting a flat in Fulham.  He and a girl went to ring the bell at the same time.  They laughed together, and while he was still laughing, she nipped in and got the flat.

He says that legally Roper can't kick them out.  Jerry is in the pub and he overhears this, spilling his drink.  He comes over and says that Roper told his mother yesterday.  She cried tears of joy.  Robin knows he won't say anything to Roper.

It's fun to stay at the Y...:  Later, the trio are packing up.  Chrissy says, "Three years and this is all I've got to show for it."  This means that she must've moved into the flat in '71 (or very late in '70). 

Robin says she also has a heart full of memories, golden moments of friendship to look back on, some smiles, and some tears.  Then he says he thought a bit of gooey sentimentality might help.  She tells him to shut up.

Mr. Roper comes in and asks when they're leaving.  Not till 3.

Robin is going back to the YMCA, while Chrissy's going to the YWCA.  Robin says, "We tried to swap but they wouldn't let us."  Jo is going to stay with a girlfriend, even though I don't think we've met any of her female friends besides Chrissy.

The trio got George's mother flowers as a welcoming gift.  They wonder when she'll be getting there.  He says he doesn't know, since he's not sure which direction she's coming from, implying he doesn't know if she went to Heaven or Hell.

After Mr. Roper leaves, Chrissy says that they never finished the chess game and it's been a week.  Robin says there's no point in rushing.


Six rather than five:  At the pub, George tells Jerry that when he saw the flowers, he began to feel he was doing something mean.  (I think he means cruel rather than cheap, although both are applicable here.)  Jerry is unswayed.  He again uses George's beer to draw the flat, this time making six dwelling units.  Granted, none of them could get to the bog (bathroom).  Bill again wipes away the drawing.

Jerry again mentions that he has a couple fellows to move the trio's furniture, which leads us to the next scene.

Removal men:  The two fellows show up in the entryway.  One of the actors, Michael Redfern, will go on to both Robin's Nest and George & Mildred, as well as The Young Ones and Eastenders, while the other, Ian Sharp, will return to MatH as Tom.  At this point, I can't tell you which is which, and it doesn't really matter for this episode.

They know they need to see a Mr. Roper, so when Robin runs downstairs, they think that's him.  Before he leaves, he tells them they need to see the man in the ground-floor flat.  They look in and say they'll soon have this stuff out.

Robin and Rodin:  Robin and Chrissy are playing chess again.  He's got his head on his fist.  She says he looks just like that statue The Thinker, except that he's not stark-naked.  Robin says that can be arranged, since it's half an hour till the van's due.

Jo brings them tea.  She suggests moving the man with the pointed hat.  Robin says they'll soon be going their separate ways.  She knows he's leading up to an insult.  He tells her to mind her own business.

Jo leaves to take down the rentbook.  Chrissy says Robin's right, they are going their separate ways.  They may never see each other again.  He asks why he should want to see a girl who thrashes him at chess.

Little bugger:  Jo knocks on the Ropers' door.  Mrs. Roper comes in the front door.  She's again in the leopard-print outfit.  She tells Jo she's wasting her time because George is probably down at the pub.  Jo says she came down to give them the rentbook and say goodbye.

Back upstairs, Chrissy wants Robin to not move a piece to a particular spot.  He says he hates girls that patronise him.
Chrissy:  More or less than girls who beat you at chess?
Robin:  The same.

Jo and Mrs. Roper come in.  Mildred says it's a good thing she took the early train.  She looks around at the packed-up flat and asks, "What's the little bugger been up to now?"

Jerry-built:  George comes in the front door and sees the suitcase.  He calls to his wife.  He goes in the flat.  We don't see it, just his stunned reaction as he says, "Oh my God!"

Back upstairs, Mildred says that George's mother has been dead for 11 years.  Far too forgiving, Jo says, "Perhaps he's forgotten."

Mildred says that George has been on about this for months, wanting to split the flat up and get more rent.  "And he waits till I go away."

George peeks in the open door.  She says she knows he's there.  She can smell the fear.

He says it was Jerry's idea.  She says his friend is the one who thought up the phrase "jerry-built."  ("Jerry-rigged" is the equivalent American phrase.)

She tells the trio that if anyone's leaving, it'll be George.  She says they'll go down to their flat to discuss it in private.  He'd rather stay upstairs, but she insists.

Chrissy says, "So much for male superiority."  Robin says, "Aw, who cares?  It means we're staying."  He hugs her and lifts her off the ground, which is quite a trick considering they're about the same height.  She tells him, "Put me down, you don't know where I've been."

They go back to the chess game.  Jo still thinks Robin should move the one with the pointed hat.  He's so happy to be staying that he humours her.  She says now that gives him checkmate.  He gives her a little kiss, not really paying attention to the game, but Chrissy says, "Oh, she's right.  You've won."

Robin says it was obvious from the start.  "I mean, the male mind--"  Chrissy throws a pillow at him.

Nothing:  George doesn't want Mildred to go into their flat.  She tells him to get out of her way.  He suggests they discuss the matter out in the entryway, or they could go for a walk.  She asks, "What's in there?"  He says, "Nothing."  He turns out to be telling the literal truth.  All that's left is the birdcage and some newspapers on the floor.

He says the furniture is only in storage, but she wants to get fancy new furniture like her sister's.

Commentary:  "I Shall Not Be Moved" was originally a folk song.  In the 1930s, it got pluralized for use as a protest song.  It says in part, "Just like a tree that's standing by the water/ I shall not be moved."  The trio are not that determined/stubborn.  As soon as they hear that their flat is going to Mr. Roper's mother, they decide not to fight, even though they have the legal right to do so.

Perhaps more than any other episode so far, this episode is about the Battle of the Sexes.  You of course have the Ropers, with deservedly hen-pecked George.  He claims he wears the pants, but he's enough scared of his wife to wait till she's gone before he evicts the tenants.  She probably won't physically hurt him, although she wouldn't mind if he drowned.

Chrissy and Robin's chess game runs throughout, even though a week passes.  Significantly, he puts his queen where his king should be, symbol of the upheaval of sex roles in the 1970s.  He knows Chrissy is at least as smart as he is, but he likes pontificating on the male mind.  Even when he goes to look at a property, he's outsmarted by a girl who grabs the flat  while he's still laughing.

And then there's Jo.  The dumb-blonding of her character is not as dramatic as with Amer-Chrissy, but she does seem to be getting dimmer, and there are more lines about it, from her as well as her flatmates.  However, she is bright enough to remember the laws about eviction, as well as to figure out how to play chess without knowing what the pieces are called.  She's at least smarter than Jerry, who leads George astray and doesn't know how to say "fait accompli."

The other form of prejudice addressed in this episode is racial.  "We Shall Not Be Moved" was adopted by the Civil Rights movement in the 1960s, although never as well known as "We Shall Overcome."  Robin is used to Mr. Roper's prejudice against the Germans, so he just assumes it even when it's not the case.  But when faced with a bigoted potential landlady, he responds by acting like a stereotypical "coloured" man.  Of course, Robin makes bigoted jokes himself (like the one about eating missionaries last week), but I think he's more politically incorrect than hateful.

One last note.  So much has changed in the past year that Robin and Chrissy only joke about their possible separation forever, rather than get genuinely sentimental.  On "Carry Me Back to Old Southampton," they did both.  There's still RCST, but they seem to have made peace with it, for the moment anyway.

"Somebody Out There Likes Me"/"Secret Admirer"

When MatH18 got converted to a late fourth season episode for 3'sC, the rhythm of the story, as well as the result, changed.  "Somebody Out There Likes Me" aired on 6 November 1974, while "Secret Admirer" appeared on March 11, 1980, placing #7 in the ratings.

Train-spotting:  George is combing his hair while Mildred reads her horoscope.  This is supposed to be her lucky day, so he'd be better be careful crossing the street.

He's entering a darts match at the British Legion.  She wants him to take her out, saying London offers opera, ballet, theatre, cinema, train-spotting, and rooting through old dust bins.  She tells him that someday he'll find she's gone, some other man sweeping her away.  He doesn't buy it.

He goes out to the entryway and sees Chrissy.  He asks if she'd always be nagging at him to take her out.  Amused, she says, "I would not."

Notes:  Upstairs, Robin is cooking in his naughty apron.  He makes what I think is the second reference to Fanny Cradock, since there might've been one back on the first episode.  ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fanny_Cradock )  Jo is wearing the first of two huge dresses.  I doubt Sally Thomsett was pregnant since she has only one child, born around '96.  I'm going to just assume that this style was fashionable at the time, and she did wear a rather large dress for the party scenes on "While the Cat's Away."  She might have put on weight, since there's another reference to her diet, but her face looks the same.

Robin says he's serving "long pig," although it's really chicken because Tesco's didn't have one missionary left on their shelves.  (This joke obviously would not have made it across the Atlantic.)

Chrissy gets home late because Old Wilkins wanted her to work on a report.  Jo tells her that she got flowers  The note says they're from an admirer.  He didn't put his name but he did address it to Chrissy Plummer.  (I think this is the first time we get her last name.  Apparently Jo's is never mentioned.)  Chrissy doesn't recognise the handwriting.  Robin says the handwriting looks like Jack the Ripper's, but he imitates Quasimodo.

Over in L.A., Janet is vacuuming while Jack sleeps on the couch.  She has to lift him to vacuum the cushions.  Then she removes the cushions from under him, puts them on the floor, and rolls him onto the cushions.  He sleeps through all of this.

Chrissy comes home and runs in.  She got another note at work from her secret admirer.  This is the seventh one.  She notices Jack sleeping but knows how to wake him up.  She says she ran into that redhead, Valerie Markham.  Jack says, "Where?"

She reads Jack the poem that the secret admirer (hereafter referrred to as SA) left:  "Roses are red/ Violets are blue/ Your smile is like sunshine/ And you always come to work dressed very nicely also."  Jack says they can rule out any professional poets.

Brit-Chrissy says she likes the flowers if Robert Redford sent them, but not if Old Roper did.  (We learned on "In Praise of Older Men" that Amer-Chrissy likes Robert Redford, too.)  Jo suggests that Larry sent them, but Robin says that's not Larry's style.  Larry is more "wham, bam, thank you, Ma'am." 

Amer-Chrissy says that someone leaves the notes on her desk before anyone else gets there.  Jack says then it can't be one of her bosses.  She's not amused.  She says it's not easy having someone admire you.  "I hope you never have to experience it."  Janet is very amused by that.

Brit-Chrissy offers the flowers to Jo, but she doesn't want Chrissy's cast-offs. 

They all go in the kitchen, since dinner's ready.  Robin doesn't want them to wash their hands because the food always get cold.  (I know the '70s were less germ-phobic than the '10s, but this is worrisome.)

Jack suggests leaving a note on the bulletin board at Chrissy's workplace saying that she'll be at the Regal Beagle.  It takes her awhile to get it, since she wasn't planning to be there.  Then he touches her head and says, "The medicine must be working."

Janet asks what will happen if it's some creep that Chrissy doesn't want to go out with.  Jack says then Janet will be along to scare him off.  He makes an ugly face by crossing his eyes and using his hand to form a pig nose.

The episodes are starting to diverge, so I'll just talk about MatH for awhile, and then 3's C, until they sort of sync up again.

Milkman's eye:  Mildred and Chrissy are chatting about Chrissy's admirer.  Chrissy says it could be half the men in the country.  In particular, there's the milkman who makes a pass at every women, and the coalman who chats up all the women.  Well, not Mrs. Roper.  Chrissy keeps putting her foot in her mouth. 

Mildred is happy to get the flowers and she plans to put them in her best vase, setting them in the window.  Perhaps she can catch the milkman's eye.

Prospects:  Robin is now doing the dishes.  Chrissy comes back from the Ropers'.  The trio discuss who the admirer could be.  Jo suggests a coworker in tweed and a small moustache.  Chrissy says, "Miss Butcher?"  (This may be the first lesbian joke on the show.  It's an old stereotype that lesbians wear tweed.)  Jo actually means Mr. Grimes in accounts, although he's over 60.  Ginger the Office Boy is another possibility.

Robin thinks it's one of Chrissy's "very weird boyfriends."  So the girls start listing off Chrissy's boyfriends, none of whom have appeared on the show.  There's Clive with a big nose, or at least a small face, but he went all Hari Krishna.  Tom.  Trevor.  Bernard.

Chrissy has a little black book, although she claims that the stars are for the numbers of times she went out with each man.  Robin asks about the abbreviation L.H.O.T.M.  Chrissy says it stands for "Left Hand on Thigh Merchant."

Perhaps SA is Bernard.  He was always sending her flowers and chocolates.  Jo says maybe he's trying to reestablish contact.  Robin says maybe something has brought a memory back.  A faded rose, a snatch of some romantic song, a pair of knickers in the glove compartment.

Jo suggests ringing Bernard up.  Chrissy doesn't know if he's even still at that number.

Carrycot:  We switch to a kitchen set with soiled diapers on washlines.  Babies are crying offscreen.  The phone rings.  A blond man in an apron calls to a woman named Cynthia. 

He's happy to hear from Chrissy.  He hasn't sent her flowers in 18 months, but he's willing to send some again.  He suggests they get together for old times' sake.

A woman comes in wearing a robe.  He starts talking as if he's selling a carrycot (like a small pram).  When she leaves the room, he admits that his wife wants him to sell the carrycot because the twins have outgrown it.  He says his wife doesn't understand him.  Chrissy says, "But I do."  She hangs up in disgust.

Maybe it was Colin who's SA.

Not particular:  Downstairs, Mildred tries to clean a vase that seems to have something like cement inside.  George comes in, happy that he won the darts contest.  He thinks she resents him popping across to the British Legion, which suggests their hall, or wherever they meet, is close by.  She says, "I don't care if you pop across to the Foreign Legion."  It turns out he's put polyfiller in the vase.  ( http://www.woodflooringcontractor.com/can-you-use-poly-filler-to-fill-cracks-in-wood.html )

He sees the flowers and thinks she's been throwing away housekeeping money.  She says they were given to her.  When he finds the card saying they're from an admirer, she's as surprised as he is.  He guesses it's the milkman, who's not particular.  As he angrily tries to find out who it is, she keeps denying it, until she realises she wants him to be jealous, so she says, "Wouldn't you like to know?"  And we break for adverts.

Cadbury's:  We get the tidying up scene here.  Robin is awake while Chrissy vacuums, as he's taking the newspaper off the settee.  They're not quite sure whose turn it is to clean, since there's been a lot of trading of chores.  Jo comes in and says that she'll do the tidying up while they go to the pub.  They didn't know they were going, but she says, "Well, it's your turn."

Robin is wearing a green-and-black-striped sweater, which I think he's worn before.  It will be significant later.

Mrs. Roper brings up the post.  It's only gas and electric, which Robin thanks her for before tearing them up and throwing them in the wastebasket that not-pregnant Jo is holding in front of her stomach.  Mrs. Roper also gives a package to Chrissy.  Chrissy recognises the handwriting as belonging to the fellow she doesn't know.

It turns out to be a huge box of chocolates, from an admirer.  Robin does his Quasimodo.

Jo finds the situation romantic, but Chrissy doesn't like this sort of thing.  The chocolates could be--  Robin completes her thought, "Drugged."  Jo says, "No, Cadbury's don't do drugged chocolates."  (Well, it was the '70s.)  Chrissy says that Jo can have the chocolates if she thinks they're romantic.  Then Jo says she's on a diet.  Chrissy offers them to Mrs. Roper, who pretends reluctance before taking them.  Then she asks for the card, too.

Male mind:  At the pub, we see Robin getting drinks from a blonde barmaid, but on the other side of the set.  It'll turn out later that this isn't the Mucky Duck but some place called the White Swan.  On either side of Robin, a man is reading, one with black hair and beard, the other with blond hair and glasses.  Robin, who's smoking, takes the drinks to the table.

He tells Chrissy that for all she knows, SA could be him.  It isn't, but it could've been somebody as nice as him.  She suggests someone as good-looking as him, with the same sort of personality.  When he agrees, she says, "That's all I need, a big-headed twit sending me flowers and chocolates."

He says they should apply the male mind to this, forget intuition and guessing, and apply reason and deduction.  SA could be anybody.  SA probably doesn't know her, he's a stranger.  He could be anybody in this pub.  We pan to Blackbeard, Four-Eyes, and an older bald man who leers and purses his lips at her.  She says, "Drink up and let's go!"

Communicating:  Meanwhile, George paces angrily as Mildred debates which chocolate to eat.  He warns her that although he usually restrains his temper, when he loses it, there'll be blood on the moon.  She happily says, "George, we're communicating!"  He says no, he's telling her off.  And he storms out.

He only gets as far as the entryway though.  Bernard has shown up with gifts.  George thinks they're for Mildred, and he throws himself across his front door to prevent Bernard from coming in.  Bernard starts heading upstairs, to George's confusion.

Then Robin and Chrissy come in.  Bernard tells her he's got some flowers and chocolates.  She says, "And a wife and twins.  Goodbye, Bernard."

After Bernard leaves, Chrissy and Robin explain to Mr. Roper.  He grins and goes back into his flat.  He's very amused as he talks to his wife, and finally tells her, "I've been communicating with her upstairs."  Mildred says, "I see."  He says Mildred never had an admirer.  She says, "I never said I had.  You jumped to that conclusion."

He teases her until she starts to cry.  He feels bad but expresses it as telling her not to start the waterworks.  Then they bicker.  When he says he's given her the best years of his life, she thunders, "The best years?!?  What are the rest gonna be like?"  He leaves again.

A wonderful slut:  Upstairs, Jo says maybe Bernard's wife doesn't understand him.  Chrissy says they've got twins, so she must've understood something.

Robin notices that Jo didn't do a very good job dusting.  She says dust is nature's way of telling you to move about occasionally.  In yet another of the show's variations on "make somebody a wonderful wife someday," he tells her she'll make somebody a wonderful slut someday, in the sense of a slattern, or slob.  (Bridget Jones calls herself a slut, although she means it in the slob sense.)

He answers the phone.  The caller wants to speak to Chrissy.  He says she doesn't know him but his name is Alan.  She doesn't know any Alan.  Robin says, "Then his story's true."  When we cut to the caller, we can see it's the blond with glasses.  He's calling from the pub.

Chrissy asks questions which Robin has to relay.  At one point, Robin does Quasimodo again.  Alan says he saw Chrissy once or twice at the White Swan.  He didn't want to talk to her since she was with friends, including a rather scruffy type in a striped jersey.  (I laughed heartily at this.)  Alan is worried the man might be her boyfriend, but Robin says he's not, he just has a room here.  He invites Alan round in half an hour, to give Chrissy time to put in her teeth and take out her curlers.

Violets:  Downstairs, George returns with a little bouquet of violets.  Mildred is touched.  He tells her to not get emotional, and it's waterworks either way.  Then she sees the little card:  "To Granny, Rest in Peace."  She's furious.

Kazoomski:  As you'll recall, the Amer-trio are deliberately going to the local pub to see SA, rather than him just happening to be there in the background.  The pub is almost empty, but there is an unremarkable-looking guy at the bar.  Jack suggests Chrissy go over there.  She sarcastically asks if she's supposed to ask the guy for a handwriting sample.

Jack tells her to think, but when she tries, he says, no, that might take too long.  He says she should go over and start a conversation.  Janet encourages her to go.  So Chrissy awkwardly saunters over.

Jim the Bartender greets her and apologizes for it being dead tonight.  She says she likes it quiet, since it's easier to share secrets.  The guy says, "Hi, Chrissy."  She's very happy.  He introduces himself as Brad.  He offers her some clam dip, but he also offers her a dip in his hot tub.  She realizes this isn't SA.  He admits he knows her name because he heard the bartender call her Chrissy.  She puts his hand in the dip and goes back to the trio's booth.

"Oh, boy, Jack.  The next time I listen to one of your dumb ideas, I hope I'm not around to hear it."  He tells her she'd better start apologizing, and he points out a young, good-looking blond guy who's just come in.  Janet exclaims, "Kazoomski!"  The guy doesn't work in Chrissy's office, but she wishes he did.

Jim has a message for Phil Durkin.  That's this guy.  Jim says Barbara said she'll be a little late.

Phil sees the trio looking at him, so as a reflex he smiles.  He goes over to the center table.  Jack and Janet again encourage Chrissy.  Jack recommends she use one of the lines guys use on her, "but leave out the part where you slap him." 

She nervously goes over, then cheerfuly says hi.  She tries the line "Sure is crowded in here," despite it being inapplicable.  She asks to share his table.  He says she can for a little bit.

She says they should just put their cards on the table.
Chrissy:  Are you my admirer?
Phil:  Admirer?  Oh, yeah, oh, you bet you.

She thinks they should get acquainted.  He asks if she always meets fellows like this.  She says only when she puts an invitation on the bulletin board. 

Barbara comes in and looks p.o.ed.  She mentions Phil sending her a note about meeting that night.  Chrissy says, "His note?  He's been leaving them on your desk, too?  What are you?  Some kind of pen pal sex maniac?" 

She's crushed to learn he's not SA.  Barbara says, "Try the bar on the corner, Honey.  Over there, you gotta beat 'em off with a stick."  Chrissy goes back to the booth and says she could kill Jack.

Answer to my dreams:  In the next scene, the trio are in different outfits and it turns out to be the evening of the next day.  Chrissy comes in very happy.  SA saw her sitting with "the dippy guy" (ha ha, pun), so he left, but she got another note saying he's going to stop by her place tonight.  She bought a new blouse and she thinks this guy might be the anwer to her dreams.  Jack and Janet go awww.

Over in London, Chrissy brushes her hair in the mirror. She's changed into a nice dress.  Robin wonders why she's dollying herself up if she's going to hide in the kitchen.  She says she might come out once she sees what he looks like.  If he's ugly, Robin will need to tell him she's emigrated, to New Zealand.  Both girls hide in the kitchen when Alan arrives.

Robin introduces himself as "the scruffy type in the striped jersey."  But he tells Alan to sit down.  Alan is nervous, and it doesn't help when Robin tells him that Chrissy is spying from the ktichen.

When the doorbell rings in California, Jack answers it.  This SA is a short man in bow tie and a suit.  He also wears glasses and he's holding a potted plant.  He introduces himself as Gilbert Larwin.  Jack invites him to sit down, but he trips and the plant goes flying, Jack catching it.  And we break for commercials.

Alan starts to say he's only been in London a couple of somethings, months presumably.  He doesn't know many people.  When he asks about Robin sharing with Chrissy, Robin says, "Only the bills."  Alan is relieved.  He saw Chrissy's name on the bell-push.  She's one of the most attractive girls he's ever seen.  Chrissy tells Jo, "I like him."

Yoo-hoo:  We pick up where we left off on 3'sC.  Janet helps Gilbert up.  They have him sit down and talk.  He's a newspaper man, not a writer but a seller. 

Jack accidentally introduces him to Chrissy as Mr. Larva.  Gilbert corrects him.  Chrissy says it's nice to finally meet him.  They shake hands for a long time.  Jack and Janet excuse themselves to the kitchen.

Gilbert says he sees Chrissy twice a day.  He works at the newstand in her office building.  She says she never stops there.  He says he's had a paper waiting for her every day for three years.  She says they must be piling up. 

He tells her that he's always wanted to call out to her, "Yoo-hoo, Beautiful Lady!"  He sounds a bit like Jerry Lewis, and we cut to the kitchen where Jack tells Janet that that wasn't Gilbert's mating call.  She says that Chrissy is too nice to hurt Gilbert's feelings and they need to think of something.

He tells her to go tell Larry to come down to pick up Chrissy for their date.  She says Larry doesn't have a date with Chrissy.  He says, "It's finally happened.  You're starting to sound like her.  When are you gonna start going--?"  He does Chrissy's snort-laugh.  Janet gets that Larry would only be pretending.  Turning into a game show host, Jack says, "Johnny, let's tell her what she's won."

Back in the living room, Chrissy says she once wanted to marry a guy who sold papers.  He had a paper route.  She was only 10.  She snort-laughs.  Gilbert says he loves her laugh.

While Janet goes up to Larry's, Jack tries to separate Chrissy and Gilbert, including by looking for a pizza cutter in the couch. 
Gilbert:  Mom and Dad aren't gonna believe it when I get home.
Jack:  I don't believe it and I'm here.

When there's someone at the door, Jack says, "I'm afraid the party's over, Gimlet."  We see Janet looking exasperated.  And there's Larry, with a champagne bottle and glasses.  He's wearing an ascot and a robe, the latter with sparkles and horses.  These are his working clothes.

Larry goes over to Chrissy, calling her Baby.  He kisses her hand and wants her to follow him to passion paradise.  Chrissy giggles and says he's so funny.  Gilbert says, "Don't you just love her laugh?"

Larry goes back over to Jack and Janet.  Jack tells him to wise up, since Chrissy is nuts.  But Larry calls this the biggest challenge of his life.

He returns to Chrissy on the couch and puts her on her back. 
Larry:  My heart weeps for you.  My soul cries out for you.  Come away with me where I can kiss you, kiss you, kiss you.
Chrissy: (to Gilbert) Anyway, I was saying--

Larry is shattered.  He leaves, with his champagne and glasses.

Jack asks to see Chrissy "for just a mo."  They and Janet go into the kitchen.  It turns out that Chrissy wants to talk to Gilbert.  He's honest and warm.  He's the only man she's met in months that's wanted to be with her rather than her being with him.  Janet understands.  Jack doesn't, but why break a habit? 

Chrissy goes back to the living room.  Janet says she's going to get out of her clothes and go to bed.  Jack acts out tearing her clothes off.  She's annoyed.

Over on MatH, things turn out very differently.  When the girls come in from the kitchen, Chrissy holds out her hand and says hello.  Alan shakes her hand and says hello back, but then turns to Jo and says, "Hello, Chrissy."  Jo and Robin laugh together.  Chrissy looks disappointed.  And the episode ends there.

Worship:  The next morning, Gilbert is sleeping on the couch fully clothed.  He and Chrissy talked till the wee small hours.  He tells Jack it's OK, he called his folks.  He says Chrissy is the most wonderful girl.  He just loves her, worships her.  She's gentle, sweet, and kind.  Jack says, "Take it easy, Giblets.  I mean Jailbait.  Sorry, Gilbert."

Jack says he'll go get Chrissy, and he actually goes in the girls' bedroom.  He looks down at Chrissy sleeping and says, "I wonder what he sees in her."  Both girls wake up and are angry that Jack's in their room.

He tells Chrissy that Gilbert fell in love with her last night.  She says they didn't talk that long.  Janet says some people can fall in love between traffic lights.  Jack thinks Gilbert is going to ask Chrissy to marry him.  Janet says Chrissy will have to disillusion Gilbert.

Jack returns to the living room, where Gilbert is folding up the blanket he borrowed and singing "I Gotta Be Me," offkey. 

Chrissy emerges with messy hair and wearing a large robe and big slippers.  She's cranky and bossy.  She makes breakfast for Gilbert by throwing eggs in the pan, shells and all.  Next she makes juice by putting a slightly squeezed orange in a glass.  Then she tosses bread in the oven for toast.

He lifts his cup of orange and says he wants to propose.  She runs out of the kitchen, saying she's not ready to get married.  He wants to propose a toast.  He doesn't want to marry her.  He just wanted to meet and talk with her, and it was wonderful.  She says it made her feel good, too.  He asks if they can be friends.  She says they are.

He has to get to work.  He'll save her a paper.  She offers him a kiss but he doesn't want to mess up her hair.  So he shakes her hand.

After she leaves, she asks Jack and Janet what they're looking at.  They think she's beautiful, on the inside.  They hug and kiss her.

Cake:  In the tag, Jack comes home.  Janet says it was so sweet of him to bake a birthday cake for Gilbert.  He says he likes Gilbert.  Janet says Chrissy is decorating the cake.  Jack worries because the last time Chrissy decorated a cake, it looked as if someone had been shooting at it. 

Jack tries to go into the kitchen, but Chrissy tells him not to because she's trying to get the cake ready, with the box and everything.  When she comes out of the room, she drops the box and falls on it.  It turns out the box is empty.  In return for the girls' practical joke, Jack threatens to smear icing on their hair.

Commentary:  I've never really liked Jack on this episode.  Yes, he has a couple sweet moments towards the end, but it doesn't make up for earlier.  Not only does he make fun of Janet's looks, but he insults Chrissy's intelligence four times and he's mean to Gilbert.  Yeah, OK, they're really playing up the dumb blonde angle by this point, but he doesn't have to spell it out for us. 

As for Gilbert, I have a soft spot for Barry Gordon because he always played sweet little guys on tons of sitcoms, from The Danny Thomas Show through Empty Nest.  I best know him from Fish and Archie Bunker's Place, where his characters were much sharper than Gilbert.  He was Barry the Paperboy in the cult classic movie The Girl Can't Help It at the age of 7, and he's still working 55 years later, since he's in a new movie called Losing Control.  Christopher Chittell (Alan) has also worked for decades on television  He's a few months older than Barry Gordon, and apparently played a student in 1967's To Sir With Love.

Gilbert was clearly admiring longer than Alan was, having sent seven notes.  Also, he's been saving a newspaper for Chrissy for three years, around the time we met her, while Alan has only been in London a couple months at most.  (I doubt he was going to say a couple years.)  Alan doesn't even know Jo's real name, and we don't get to know him very well compared to Gilbert, who's on almost half the episode.  It's unlikely that Brit-Chrissy will want to be friends with Alan, while Amer-Chrissy and Gilbert bond through their awkwardness and innocence. 

On both shows, the whole stalker issue is not addressed as it would be nowadays, although Brit-Chrissy is warier.  Because both Alan and Gilbert come across as shy and harmless, and because the Chrissys don't meet up with SA alone, we're not meant to worry about their safety.  It's apparently more of a problem that your SA will want to marry you, or go out with your roommate.

SA can't be Brit-Larry because he's more "wham, bam, thank you, Ma'am."  We were introduced to Larry's technique with girls last episode.  As for Amer-Larry, he was well-established as a ladies' man by this point in 3'sC.  You have to remember that Larry didn't look quite as ridiculous three decades ago as he does now.  He really was supposed to be more attractive than Gilbert.

Another SA possibility is Bernard.  They dated eighteen months ago, which was before we met Chrissy.  It's been long enough for him to get married and become father to twins.  One of the rules of comedy is that twin babies are funnier than solo babies.  Chrissy has never deliberately dated a married man before, and certainly after the mess with Lloyd, she's not going to get together with Bernard.

One possibility for Brit-Chrissy's admirer is "Old Roper," but even though he asks if she'd want him to take her out, he's not taken seriously as a possibility.  The subplot with the Ropers couldn't have been used in America at this point, because they'd spun off a year earlier.  There is an episode where Helen sends herself flowers to make Stanley jealous but that's not what's going on with the Brit-Ropers.  MatH once again has a surprisingly poignant moment with the Ropers, this time over Mildred feeling unattracitve.  It's played for laughs but there's real emotion here.  In contrast, 3'sC by its fourth season is very cartoony, which makes Janet's "kazoomski" very appropriate.

There isn't much RCST in this episode, with the possibility of him being SA not being much more seriously considered than Old Roper.  As on "I Won't Dance," he teases her about her love life, although she claims her little black book is innocent.  Still, she's been out with enough fresh fellows that she has an abbreviation like L.H.O.T.M.

I don't know what it is about the British characters, but they can say the most conceited things, like Chrissy saying half the men in the country admire her, and get away with it.  I think it's that they're so nonchalant about it, like they're not even boasting, just stating a simple fact.