"Another Bride, Another Groom"

The last episode of MatH is possibly the best:  funny, touching, and chockful of guest stars.  It takes its title from the lyrics to "Making Whoopee," the version that goes "Another bride, another groom, another sunny honeymoon."  The episode aired on 7 April, 1976.

Making Whoopee:  The episode opens with a close-up of a Cupid decoration on a wedding cake.  Robin is singing a da-da-da-dee version of "Making Whoopee."  The cake is three-tiered and very elaborate.  Robin is wearing his naughty apron as he decorates.  It's later revealed that he's wearing a T-shirt for the WSU Cougars.  (Washington State U.  Less likely than Larry at Oxford, but not impossible.)

He says, "Now for the finishing touch."  He picks up bride and groom figurines and acts out a wedding ceremony, officiator included.  As he sets them on the cake, he says, "Those whom the registrars have put together, let no cake knife put asunder."

Jo looks on with her hands on her hips.
Jo:  Can I have a slice now please?
Robin:  Certainly not.  You can't have any till after the wedding.
Jo:  (giggling) That's what my mum always told me to say.

She says that he's taking it very well about Chrissy and Norman.  He says there are plenty more fish in the sea.  As he goes to answer the doorbell, he adds, "I've given up girls.  From now on, I'm going out with fish."

Chrissy and Norman are at the door.  She says Norman bought the ring.  Robin wants to see it, through Norman's nose.

Norman wants to rehearse Robin handing the ring to him.  He doesn't want anything to go wrong.  He hands the ring to Robin, who hands it back.  Norman says that's perfect and Chrissy says it's very good.  Feigning feigning modesty, Robin says, "Well, there wasn't a lot to it really."

Norman tells him to just do it like that tomorrow.
Norman:  Remember, as best man, you're responsible for all the arrangements until we leave for the honeymoon.  (He sits on the settee next to Chrissy.)  After that, I can manage on my own.
Chrissy:  Oh, can you now?
Norman:  Well, it would help if you're around.
She giggles.  He leans in for a kiss, but Robin breaks it up.

Robin sent the invitations by post two weeks ago.  (So we know at least that much time has passed since Math38.)  Chrissy says they should start arriving any day now, the last of the "slow post office" jokes on the show.  He gave the Ropers' invitations to Mr. Roper.

The Grand Old Duke:  Downstairs, Mr. Roper is looking at that invitation.  When Mildred comes in with a cup of tea for him, he quickly hides the invitation under his jumper.

She says it's a big day tomorrow.  He says yeah, it'll be the finals of the darts tournament at the British Legion.  She's talking about the wedding.  "Oh, you mean her upstairs?  We're playing the Duke of Edinborough.  Well, not him personally.  His pub."

Mildred:  I do think they might've invited us, George.  I mean, if just for the, you know, the reception. 
George:  Well, maybe it's just the family, Mildred.
Mildred:  Well, Mr. Simmonds from the top flat's going and he's not family.
George:  Well, maybe it's family and people they like.  I mean, they never liked us.  Apart from you.
Mildred:  You know, I enjoy weddings, George.  I even enjoyed ours.  Look how that turned out.

He says they won't have to fork out money on a present.  She says she's already bought one, a pop-up toaster.  Laughing, she says, "I'll pop up with it later."  We cut to George looking surprised as he sips his tea.

Don't it make your blue eyes brown?:  Robin shows Norman the cake, telling him all the ingredients, nothing but the best.  Robin says it's his masterpiece.  Norman says he hasn't got brown eyes.  The groom figurine has brown.  Robin sarcastically says, "Oh, well, scrap the whole thing then!"  Norman says they can still use it.  It's perfect, the finest wedding cake he's ever seen, apart from the brown eyes.

Day Tripper:  Chrissy answers the doorbell.  Robin's dad is there, carrying a flat package.  They hug hello.  He drove down a day early.  Mrs. Tripp wants to look at the London shops, and it's cheaper if she does that on a Sunday. 

Mr. Tripp:  Hello, Jo.
Jo:  Hello, Mr. Tripp.  Did you have a good trip?  (She winces.)  Journey.
He says Mrs. Tripp only got sick in the car once.  Luckily, the nodding dog got most of that.  (I assume he's talking about a bobble-head dog or the like.)

His sons enter from the kitchen.  He tells them that their mum is back at the hotel, practising her sobbing for the wedding.

He gives Chrissy the package and tells her it's an electric blanket. 
Norman:  Do you think we'll need it?
Mr. Tripp:  Well, not for a week or two certainly.  There'll come cold nights, you know, when you're not in the mood.
Chrissy:  About 1990.
Mr. Tripp:  (to Norman) (unintelligible) You've got a cracker here, eh, Laddie?  (to Chrissy) You've not so bad, Love.  Me and his mother are very, very proud of our Norman.
Chrissy:  And your Robin.
Mr. Tripp:  Robin?  Well, he does his best.

Robin asks if his dad wants to see the cake he baked.  His dad says not right now.
Robin:  I said the cake I baked.  I didn't say the dress I made for my dolly!
Mr. Tripp:  You made a dress for your what?
Norman thinks their dad should see the cake because it's very good.  Dad says, "Well, if you think so, Norman."  He and Robin go in the kitchen.  Jo says, "I didn't know he had a dolly."

Mr. Tripp puts on his reading glasses to look at the cake.  Robin says it's his personal gift to Norman and Chrissy.
Mr. Tripp:  Your mother makes a fair to middling sponge.
Robin:  Well, I couldn't give them a fair to middling sponge as a wedding present, could I?
Mr. Tripp agrees and he says the cake is very good, except Norman hasn't got brown eyes.  Robin is very annoyed.

Anything You Want:  Jo asks what Norman and Chrissy are doing on their honeymoon, for the rest of the time.  Norman is sitting on the settee.  Chrissy is on its arm, and his hand is around her hips.  He puts his other arm around her and asks, "What rest of the time?"

Mildred comes in without knocking.  She says she "popped up" with the wedding present.  Chrissy says, "A toaster, what a lovely surprise."  Norman asks how she knew, and Chrissy says that's what she asked for.

Mildred says it's an exciting day tomorrow.  She asks if quite a few people are coming.
Chrissy:  Just family and poeple we like.
Mildred:  I see.  I'll be thinking of you, Love.
Norman:  But you'll be there.
Mildred:  What?
Chrissy:  Well, surely Mr. Roper gave you the invitation.
Mildred pretends he did and then excuses herself.

The Joker:  George shows a feathered dart to Oscar.  "You know a bit about feathers, don't you?"  He says the most important thing to remember is to let go of it when you throw it, or you'll hit the dartboard.  He says Oscar can appreciate a good joke.

Mildred has returned, so she says we all do (appreciate a good joke).  "Shall I tell you one?"  She has him sit in the chair, while she sits on the arm.  Punctuated by his anticipatory laughter, she tells of a little man whose wife said she was going to break his neck.  "I won't attempt the accent."  The man asked why she was going to break his neck and his wife said, "Because you didn't tell me you received a wedding invitation."  George has stopped laughing.  He pulls the invitation out from under his jumper.

A Quick One (While He's Away):  The Tripp brothers enter the pub, smoking, and Norman says they'll just have a quick one, as it's traditional.  Robin says it's not really right to get stoned (in the drunk sense) out of your mind the night before the wedding.
Norman:  I don't plan to.
Robin:  But I intend to.

They go to the bar.  Robin starts to order two pints of the best bitter, but has to change it to three when he sees Larry. 
Larry:  Last night before the big drop then?
Norman:  It's not an execution.  I'm going into it quite willingly.
Larry:  Ah, suicide.
Norman laughs.

Larry's offscreen wedding present turns out to be a garden gnome with a fishing rod.  Larry thought it was tasteful.  Norman notes that there seemed to be a little earth around the base.  Larry says, "Well, that's Harrod's for you."

They take their drinks to a table as Mr. Roper comes in and goes to the bar.  Robin asks if he has to make a speech.  Norman says it'll be just a few words at the reception.

Robin asks for a piece of paper and a pencil.  Larry hands him the bill from Harrod's.  Robin gives him a "You're kidding" look, and Larry gives him a "That shows you" look back.  Robin is surprised when he realises that Larry was telling the truth for once.

Norman says to just mention the couple, how beautiful the bride is, how handsome the groom.  "Find your own words."  Robin sarcastically says, "Thank you very much."

Writing it down, Robin says, " 'Ladies and gentlemen, family and friends.' "  George comes over with a drink and says, "Evening."  Robin adds, " 'And Mr. Roper.' "  George sits down.

George tells Norman he's going to "your whatshisname" tomorrow.  He hopes they'll hurry it up, since he's got this darts match.  Norman says he'll bear it in mind.

He's dubious about marriage and says that women can be-- He breaks off and looks round.  The other men lean in as he confides that women can be very demanding physically.
George:  I'm not putting you off, am I?
Norman:  (laughing) No.
George:  Oh well, it takes all sorts.
The men all pick up their glasses.

I've Got a Little List:  Meanwhile, the girls are on the settee, Mildred in the chair, as they laugh and drink together.

Mildred says George was ever so nervous when they got married.  He put the ring on the vicar's finger.  "If I hadn't mentioned it, they'd be together yet."  This is crazy enough on its own, but combined with the image of Mildred doing up George's fly buttons (revealed on "The Party's Over"), it suggests total chaos.  Yet Mildred claims to have enjoyed her own wedding.

Jo asks if Chrissy's nervous.  Chrissy says, no, there are only 156 things that can go wrong.  She's made a list.  Laughing, Jo says, "When my Uncle Cyril got married, his braces snapped and his trousers fell down."  Chrissy says, "157." 

(On "And Then There Were Two," Jo said that her nephew Cyril was named after a fellow Cyril who was after Uncle Charles.  Either she has an Uncle Cyril after all or they've started calling that man "uncle," as in a family friend.  Or she and/or the writers can't keep her family members straight.)
 
It's Late:  George is also recalling the wedding.  When the vicar said "Speak now" etc., not a soul spoke.  "Not a bloody soul."

Norman stands up and wants to go.  George says it's Norman's turn to buy a round, but Robin says it's actually George's.  So George says, "It is getting late," and leaves.

As Norman leaves, Larry tells him, "Get your head down.  It's your last chance for a good night's kip."  Then Robin suggests he and Larry have a few more drinks.

Love and Marriage:  We return to the lounge, now dark.  We hear Robin and Larry singing something.  Then Larry sings the line, "Love and Marriage."  They come in.  Robin shushes Larry and turns on a light.  More quietly, Larry sings, "Go together like a railway carriage."  Robin says that's horse.  Larry says, "Yeah, I am a bit.  It's all the singing."

They're leaning on each other, arms around each other.  They can barely walk.

Robin wants Larry to see the cake.  He says it should be hung up in the Gational Nallery.  He goes in the kitchen.  Larry drops his cigarettes.  He gets on all fours to pick them up.  Robin of course trips over him, dropping the cake.  There's much audience reaction.

And we go to adverts.

Goin' out of My Head:  There's again a close-up of a cake, but this time the groom is headless.  The camera backs out to show that this cake is only one layer, which Robin is quickly frosting.

The girls come in wearing their nightclothes.  They say good morning.  Then they see the cake.
Jo:  It's shrunk.
Robin:  It's a different cake. It's two jam sponges stuck together.
He tells them that some idiot fell on the other cake, then admits it was him.  Chrissy says 158.

Chrissy goes to answer the doorbell.  Jo says that the groom's got no head.  Robin says, "You noticed that, did you?"

Chrissy's mum arrives with a big white box.  She and Chrissy hug hello.  Her dad comes in with a dead cockerel, which he hands to her. 

Mrs. Plummer says she hates traveling with her back to the engine. 
Mrs. Plummer:  If God had wanted us to travel backwards, He'd have put our feet the other way round.
Mr. Plummer:  At least you can see where you've been.
Mrs. Plummer:  I want to see where I've been before I get there.

She asks if Chrissy is nervous, but doesn't give her a chance to reply.  She herself is very nervous.  Mr. Plummer says that's true.  "She tried to milk one of the pigs yesterday."

She wants a quiet word with Chrissy about you-know-what.
Chrissy:  About?
Mrs. Plummer:  You know.
Chrissy:  What?
Mrs. Plummer:  That's it.
She has Dudley go to the kitchen.

Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps:  Jo tells Robin you can't have a groom with no head.  She takes out the prize from a Corn Flakes box and replaces the damaged groom with a figurine of a football player.

Dudley comes in and hands Robin the cockerel.  He asks, "Where's this fantastic wedding cake I've been hearing about, eh?"  Robin tries to block his view.  Dudley says Chrissy told him it was a masterpiece.  Then he sees it.  Robin says this is the second version.  Dudley says perhaps it's as well he didn't see the first. 

He asks, "She's not marrying Michael McDonald is she?"  I laughed even though I'm not quite sure who that is.  (Possibly this man:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_McDonald_(footballer) )  Jo says it's better than a groom with no head.  Dudley asks, "Is that the only choice?"

White Wedding:  Back in the lounge, Mrs. Plummer says she's not one to fuss.  It is Chrissy's day.  "But I thought you'd be married in a church."  Chrissy says Norman is sort of Agnostic.  Her mum asks, "Couldn't you find an Agnostic church?"

She was also hoping that Chrissy would wear white. 
Mrs. Plummer:  Unless there's a reason you shouldn't.
Chrissy:  (amused) What's that supposed to mean?
Mrs. Plummer:  Well, nowadays, a lot of you young people, well, you do have a relationship before the wedding ceremony.
Chrissy:  Oh, well, I won't have time for that.  I've got to get bathed and changed.
Mrs. Plummer:  (angrily) I didn't mean immed-- (as Chrissy laughs) Oh, you.

Robin brings them tea.  She says, "Bless you, Robin," but then asks if he's going to clean up a bit before the ceremony.  He's in his dressing gown, as usual with no pyjama top, so we can see his hairy chest and gold necklace.  He says he'll wash, shave, and put on a clean pair of pyjamas.

She wants him to get Norman to the registry office on time.  Robin says his brother won't escape him.  And he's already whitewashed the shotgun especially for the occasion.  She rolls her eyes.

Signs:  We next see a sign that reads,
ROYAL BOROUGH OF KENSINGTON
SUPERINTENDENT REGISTRAR ROBIN N. PARKER
REGISTRATION OF BIRTHS, DEATHS & MARRIAGES
MONDAY TO FRIDAY 9.30 A.M. to 4.0 P.M.
SATURDAY BY APPOINTMENT

I love this episode so much, I even love this sign.  We again confirm that we're in Kensington.  The registrar shares a first name with "our Robin," and his middle name might well be Norman.  Not only that, he's actually named after the show's designer, Robin Parker.  Some of the punctuation and capitalisation feels random.  Why the ampersand?  Why "to" in little letters?  And is that really how they write four o'clock?  (I knew about the period instead of colon thing already.)  Finally, what happens if you want to be born, die, or get married on a Sunday?  Do you go ahead but just register it on Monday?

The camera backs out and a dark-coloured car pulls up.  Norman is driving, as Robin smokes. 
Robin:  So, what happened to the flashy little sports car, then?
Norman:  Oh, that was just for pulling the birds.  Well, now that I've pulled one, a little more dignity is called for.
They get out of the car.

The Waiting:  Their parents are on a settee in the waiting room.  She's crying into her handkerchief.  She's played by Hilda Kriseman, whom I noted at the time was on MatH15.  As the only newbie among the performers playing parents, she's not given a lot to do besides cry, but she does it well.

Mr. Tripp tells her to give it a rest. 
Mr. Tripp:  The lad's got to get married sometime.  He can't be happy all his life.
Mrs. Tripp:  He's so young!
Mr. Tripp:  Young?  Up North, he'd have eight kids by this time.  And two of them in a raincoat factory.
(This amuses me, even though it means Norman would be married before he's 16.  I figure Robin is 25 max at this point, making Norman 27.)

Their sons enter.  Norman kisses his mum hello.  Norman is in a dark suit with a tan shirt and a red carnation.  Robin's suit is tan, while his shirt is dark.  He, and all the other men, wear white carnations.

Sobbing, Mrs. Tripp says, "I'm so happy for you!"  Norman says they could hear her being happy all the way down the hall.

Robin:  Hello, Mum.
Mrs. Tripp:  Oh, Robin, my baby!"
She hugs him.

Mr. Tripp tells Norman that she's been going on like that every since they left the hotel.  The carpets in their car are soaking wet.

The Ropers enter, followed by Jo and Larry.  Mildred is in a pink dress, a white hat with a pink flower, and white heels with straps.  Jo is wearing a red pantsuit with a white turtleneck and a blue scarf.  Larry is in a checked suit.  And George is in a forgettable dark suit.

Norman introduces the Ropers to his parents.  They shake hands.  Mr. Tripp asks George, "Friend of the bride?"  George says, "No, we're not friends of anybody."  Mr. Tripp is confused.

Larry shakes his hand and introduces himself as "Larry, mate of Robin's.  So you're the condemned man's father, eh?"  Mr. Tripp says that's right, and he and Jo say hello to each other.
Mr. Tripp:  Well, if we're all here then.
Jo:  Don't you think we might need a bride?
Mr. Tripp:  Good idea.
His wife sobs and he tells her to pull herself together.

At his suggestion, they all sit.  The door of Mr. R. N. Parker opens and he says, "Mr. Tripp?"  All three Messrs. Tripp stand and say, "Yes?"  He means the one who's getting married. 
Norman:  Oh, that's me, but I'm not all here yet.  I mean, I, we are not all here yet.
Mr. Parker:  When you are, do come in. 
He goes back in his room.  He's played by Dennis Ramsden, who would have a couple roles each on Robin's Nest and George & Mildred.

Norman says, "She does know where it is, doesn't she?"  Robin says it was on the invitiation.  Norman says they didn't send her one.  Jo says Chrissy will be here.  As Chrissy comes in, followed by her parents, Norman wonders if she could be lost.  Jo says, "I don't know.  Why don't you ask her?"

Chrissy wears an ecru peasant-style dress with big sleeves and flowered embroidery.  She doesn't have a veil, but there are flowers in her hair.  She's also holding a pink bouquet.  She's smiling.  Her father is in a suit of course.  And her mother has a blue dress and a big blue hat.

Everyone stands and admires Chrissy.  Taking her hand, Norman says, "Oh, marvelous."  He and Chrissy say hello to each other and he kisses her cheek. 
Norman:  You came then?
Chrissy:  I thought I'd better, in case you started without me.

Norman escorts Chrissy to a door, but it's the broom cupboard.  His father says, "You're going on just like our Robin."  We cut to Robin looking insulted.

Norman then escorts Chrissy to the door his father indicates.  Everyone follows them in.  Mrs. Roper tells her husband to behave himself and not fidget.  She finds the dart in his breast pocket.  He says he might still make it to the tournament.  She tells him, "Get in there!"

I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do:  Everyone has sat down in the registry office or is about to.  Chrissy and Norman are in the front two chairs, facing the table where Mr. Parker stands.

As he and Robin come in, Larry says, "So this is where you get married.  It always looked different in me nightmares."

Pointing at Mrs. Tripp, Mrs. Plummer tells her husband, "I'm determined I'm not going to cry."  He says, "I'll do it for you.  I'm paying for this lot.  I'm not losing a daughter, I'm gaining an overdraft."

Mr. Parker has Norman and Chrissy stand.  They shake hands with him.  Then he asks them to excuse his eyes watering.  It's not emotion.  He has a head cold.

Robin and Jo stand in the background, I assume as witnesses, although Jo is probably maid of honour.  And Robin is of course best man.

Mr. Parker starts the ceremony, punctuated by blowing his nose.  Then the scene dissolves.

Norman is now facing Chrissy as she repeats the vows.  Neither of them has a middle name.

George is falling asleep, but Mildred is crying a little.

Mr. Parker asks for the rick, meaning the ring, since he's congested.  Robin steps over and reaches into his waistcoast pockets, but the ring has gone through the lining.  He takes off his coat.  Chrissy says 159.  He tears his waistcoat and the ring falls out.  Everyone but him and Chrissy look for the ring. 
Robin:  (to Chrissy) Sorry, there was a hole in it.
Chrissy:  That was for my finger to go through.

Mr. Tripp finds the ring and hands it to Robin, who says, "Oh, thank you."  Norman comes back, but Robin is now standing next to Chrissy.  Mr. Parker says, "Now, if you'll place the ring on the bride's finger."  Robin starts to, so Norman says, "Not you, me!"  The audience is very amused.  Norman puts the ring on Chrissy's finger.

The registrar sneezes as he congratulates them.  Norman and Chrissy kiss.  And the scene dissolves.

Cuts Like a Knife:  We cut to Norman and Chrissy cutting the cake.  Her dad takes a picture with a flash camera.  Robin apologises about the ring, and the cake.  Chrissy says she quite likes jam sponge.  Norman says they'll look back on this and laugh, eventually.

Mr. Tripp prompts Robin to say  a few words.  Robin breaks his glass when he taps it with a knife.  Chrissy takes the glass.

Robin says he's written a speech, but perhaps it's better if he speaks straight from the heart.  He hands his speech to his dad.  He says he's known Chrissy and Norman for some time.  He flounders.  His dad hands the speech back.  He says, "Well, long life and happiness.  Well, that's about it, really.  Well, cheers." Everyone raises their glass.

George hopes to still make it to the tournament.  Mildred says, "You are staying!"  He says the team is relying on him, if three other fellows don't turn up.

Larry makes Robin leave with him.

Mr. Tripp and Jo are sitting on the settee together.
Mr. Tripp:  Your turn next, Love.  I, er, don't suppose you fancy our Robin, do you?
Jo:  Well, he's very nice, but he's a bit scatter-brained.
Mr. Tripp:  Takes after his mother.
Mrs. Tripp is now drinking and laughing in the middle of the group.

Like a Virgin:  Larry and Robin are decorating a dark car, with cans and the usual "just married" stuff.  Robin is hesitant but Larry says it's tradition.

Upstairs, Chrissy just hands Jo the bouquet, but then Jo is the only single woman there.  Chrissy and Norman are about to leave, because as he says, Scotland's a long way, even at 70 mph.

Mrs. Plummer pulls Chrissy aside and says she mustn't worry if it isn't perfect the first time.
Chrissy:  Yes, I remember.
Mrs. Plummer:  Hm?
Chrissy:  I remember you telling me.
She giggles.

Her dad squeezes her shoulder as he says goodbye.  Then they hug.  Mr. Tripp says, "I haven't had my kiss yet, from the blushing bride."  He gives her a peck on the cheek.  Larry says to Robin, "Just in time, eh?", as they 've apparently just returned.  He also gives Chrissy a peck on the cheek.

Chuckling, George says, "My turn now."  He gives her a peck, too.  Mildred tells Jo, "Done with his usual passion."  Jo smiles and nods.

Robin and Chrissy smile at each other, a bit shyly.  He comes over and takes both her hands.  He says, "Well, what can I say?"  She shrugs.  He gives her a peck on the lips.  Then they kiss again, and after a couple seconds she puts her arms around him.

Jo, Norman, and the Ropers look on, stunned.  Robin is holding Chrissy tight, and they sway a little.  The audience laughs. 

Norman comes over and gently grips Chrissy's hand that's on Robin's shoulder.  The kiss stops after 22 seconds.  Norman says, "Um, I hate to break this up, but that's my Mrs. Tripp.  And I'd like her with me on the honeymoon."  Robin has an "Oh, right" expression.  Chrissy just smiles contentedly.

The End:  Everyone comes down the exterior steps.  Chrissy hugs her mum.  Mrs. Roper gives Norman a peck, then hugs Chrissy.

Larry tells Robin, "This'll be a giggle.  Wait till you see their faces."

Chrissy waves goodbye and then clasps Robin's hand.  She hugs Jo. 

Chrissy and Norman go to another dark car.  Larry and Robin are surprised.  They look over at the car they decorated.  The audience laughs a lot.  Norman and Chrissy drive off, past the other car.  Mr. Tripp looks angry, and it might be his car. 

The credits show the wedding party posed on the steps:  Jo, Norman, Chrissy, and Robin at the bottom; Larry and the Ropers in the middle; and the parents in the back.

The credits end with "THE END," in case there was any doubt.

Think: 
Chrissy:  It's typical of a Man About, they make you think that the RCST is over and Robin doesn't fancy me anymore, and then he gives me a tremendous snog in the end.
Robin:  I seem to remember you kissing me back with enthusiasm.
Larry:  Eh?  Her end?  Your back?
Robin:  (ignoring him) It's quite clear that you were only marrying my brother because I didn't speak up in time.
Chrissy:  I'll have you know I was very happy with Norman.
Robin:  Yeah, for a few months.  Then you turned up as a single mum with a baby!
Chrissy:  That wasn't me.  That was Paula.  And anyway, you're the one who rebounded into that fling with Vicky the next January.
Robin:  (indignantly) Fling!  I bloody well ended up married with twins!
Chrissy:  All while pining for me, very sad.
Jo:  Listen, you two, you're ignoring the important thing.
Robin & Chrissy:  What's that?
Jo:  That I get to wear the unisexiest bridesmaid outfit on television before lesbians started marrying each other in the '90s.  And I get to bond with Robin's father.
Robin:  That's two things.
Chrissy:  And anyway, I'd put my teasing my mum ahead of that.
Robin:  What about my brother and my father belittling me again?  Great character development.
Larry:  What about all the bits about tradition and how those blow up in our faces?
Jo:  Like the pop-up toaster.  Are there toasters that don't pop up?
Robin:  And like Chrissy's damn virginity.
Larry:  (muttering) Yeah, well.
Chrissy:  I think that was rather liberated of me to not cop to one or the other.  The viewer doesn't know what sort of "relationship" Norman and I have before the wedding night.
Mildred:  At least you had one after the wedding, Love.
Helen:  At least you were invited to the wedding.  Stanley and I were long forgotten by the time Janet married whatshisname.
Stanley:  Thurston Howell IV.  (She looks at him.)  What?  The Harlem Globetrotters on Gilligan's Island was on after Name That Tune one night.  Anyway, George is right, we didn't have to fork out for a wedding present.
Helen:  But what about poor little Chrissy?  I mean Amer-Chrissy.  She didn't get invited to Janet's wedding either.  (Cut to Amer-Chrissy crying on the telephone.  Cut back to everyone else sitting/standing around the flat.)
Jack:  (shrugging) Hey, neither did Janet's family.  (Janet hits him.)
Brit-Chrissy:  (guiltily) I forgot to invite my sister and her husband.
Norman:  How do you think I feel?  I apparently have no friends of my own.
George:  It was getting too crowded anyway.  I'd have been happy to have sat it out meself.
Mildred:  George!
Amer-Larry:  I still say that you would've been better off streaking than doing the "just married" stuff.  (Everyone looks at him.)  What?  Weren't we talking about tradition just now?
Brit-Larry:  Streaking?  You know that's not a bad idea.
David Bell:  That was a beautiful wedding cake, Robin.
Robin:  Thank you.
David:  Of course, since I wasn't clumsy, I wouldn't have smashed it like that.
Sam:  Yeah, but you took off long before I got married.
Jenny:  Hey, Everyone, no fighting.  Remember, we're back in April '76.  Chrissy and Norman are going off on their fabulous Scottish honeymoon.  David's still living with us on our unsold pilot.  Janet and Amer-Chrissy are living with that Eleanor, who hasn't yet conceived, and, what was I saying?
Oscar:  Tweet!
Janet:  Jack, I'm sorry things didn't work out with Vicky.  (to Robin) His Vicky.
Jack:  (shrugging) Well, a year is longer than any of my other relationships, except for Linda.  (to Robin) My Linda.
Robin:  I got six series out of my Vicky.  Well, and the twins.
Chrissy:  That's typical of a man, always thinking of what he gets out of a girl.
Larry:  (leering) More like what he gets in her.
Mildred:  Except for George.
Helen:  And Stanley.
Stanley:  (not understanding) Well, our spin-off ran for over a year.
George:  No stamina, Son.  I lasted three years.  And a movie.
Mildred:  That's true.  We would've gone on longer, but poor Yootha.  (Shakes her head.)  A litre of brandy a day!  Can you imagine?
George:  (getting choked up and trying to hide it) Damn woman!
Chrissy:  That's typical of a man, always blaming--
Robin:  Say, Chrissy, do you fancy a bit of the you-know-what?
Chrissy:  What?
Robin:  You know.
Chrissy:  Oh.  Well, what year is this?
Robin:  Let's say 1990.
Chrissy:  Yeah, why not?  I'm between television programmes at the moment.  I mean Paula is.  (Robin is stunned at her consent, but not so stunned that he doesn't follow her to the kitchen on the way towards her old bedroom.)
Jo:  I wonder whatever became of me.  I hope I got a last name eventually.

THE END

"The Sunshine Boys"

This plot, which centres around tanning, absolutely could not have been transferred over to the Santa Monica trio.  It aired on 17 March 1976 and is set during the rainy months of England, which admittedly doesn't narrow it down much.  The title comes from the previous year's Oscar-winning movie with Walter Matthau and George Burns.

It's just a jump to the left:  The episode opens with a close-up of the Ropers' wireless.  A band called Pelvic Thrust plays until the d.j. goes into his patter.  He says you're tuned in, turned on, and being tantalised by Ricky Bird, your OK d.j.  When he says, "Right on," George says, "Right off," and turns the wireless off.

Mildred enters from the bedroom and turns the wireless back on because she wants to know the time.  He turns the wireless off again and says he prefers some World War Two announcer, whom he imitates.  He tells Mildred it's ten o'clock.

She asks for his wages.  He says he didn't do his full three days at the betting shop.  And when she takes the envelope, she knows there's a pound missing because there's always a pound missing.

He says he's saving up, but he won't tell her for what.
George:  Isn't a man entitled to a bit of privacy?
Mildred:  Not when he's married.

Torremolinos:  Meanwhile, Robin and Chrissy are looking at travel brochures on their settee.  He wants to go skiing, but she wants to go to the beach.  She thinks he'll hurt himself skiing, but he says, "I've learned to fall without hurting myself.  It comes from years of drinking."

Jo enters from the kitchen and suggests they compromise by going to a very steep beach.

Larry knocks and enters.  Robin has invited him along, to the girls' displeasure.  He admits that Larry is the last person you'd want to share a holiday with.  Larry says it's nice to feel wanted.  Robin says it'll be cheaper with a fourth person.

Chrissy says they're going to Torremolinos.  ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Torremolinos )  Larry agrees to that, so Jo tells Robin it's three to one and he's outvoted. 

After the girls exit for the kitchen, Robin calls Larry a berk.  He tells Larry there's plenty of talent in San Moritz.  ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/San_Moritz )  Larry says to think of all those zips (on the ski clothes).  He prefers all that crumpet on the beach.  Robin says there will also be local bronzed studs, and Robin will look like a whitewashed milk bottle in comparison.  He says that the last time he went to the beach, three people went down with snow blindness.

After Larry leaves, Robin lifts his shirt and looks at his stomach in the mirror.  Then he shrieks in horror.

Sunray:  We see Larry going downstairs, whistling.  Mr. Roper comes out of his flat and invites him in. 
George:  I'll come straight to the point, Robin.
Larry:  Larry.
(Well, at least he's trying.)

He tells Larry he needs some money because he's saving  up.
George:  I decided to sell something and thought of you.
Larry:  You can't sell me.

George says there must be something Larry is short of.  Yeah, there is:  money. 

George offers him the wireless, but Larry already has one.  The sewing machine?  Larry doesn't do a lot of sewing.  George says he could take it up, while listening to the wireless.

George offers him a "reading lamp," but Larry recognises it as a sunray lamp.  George says it'll make Larry brown, with ultraviolent [sic] rays. 
Larry:  How much?
George:  Oh, very brown.
When he realises Larry means the cost, he says 5 quid.

1830:  This segues to Larry telling Robin the lamp would cost him 10 quid.  Larry's flat contains Robin's disturbing poster with a headless woman's body hanging on a hanger, like a coat, from the first series. 

Robin asks where Larry got the lamp.  He says it's a family heirloom, from 1830.  Robin points out that they didn't have electricity then.  Larry says that's why it's in such good "nick," meaning condition in this instance, although "nick" will have a different meaning later. 

Larry says that after a couple weeks of using the lamp, Robin will be golden brown all over, like a crisp with legs.  Robin asks if Larry could just lend it, but Larry says no.

Robin is tempted, since he'll be all brown and sexy.
Larry:  Oh, stop it.  I'm beginning to fancy you.
Robin:  So will all the girls.

Larry asks for his 12 quid, and someone in the audience reacts.  Robin also catches the price being jacked up, so Larry apologises and goes back to 10 quid.  He's still making a 100% profit of course, off his best friend.

Nice:  On the middle floor, the girls are looking at the brochures.  Jo says they don't have to go to Spain.  They could go to France or Italy.
Chrissy:  Pisa's nice but Nice is nicer.
Jo:  Say that again.
Chrissy:  I don't think I could.
They laugh.

Robin comes back with the lamp.  He gives them fair warning that he's going to strip off. 
Chrissy:  Where did you get that?
Robin:  No, you're supposed to say that after I've taken them [clothes] off.
Chrissy of course means the lamp.

After Robin says he got it from Larry, Chrissy says it's stolen property.
Robin:  You're very hard on Larry.  He's got this framed certificate on his wall, commending him for all the good work he's done for charity.
Jo:  He has?
Robin:  Yeah, he nicked it from a junk shop. 
Robin laughs.

Chrissy wants to use the lamp on her house plants.  Robin sarcastically says she should get the frozen joint out of the fridge and thaw it out on his stomach.  She says that's a good idea.  He says, "Bloody hell!"

Clock:  Downstairs, George counts his 5 quid.  He starts to head out as Mildred comes home.  She asks, "George, why is it when I come in, you always go out?  We're like that little man and woman in the weather clock."

She stops him from leaving and tells him to go back in their flat.  She says she's been thinking and she was a bit harsh, not letting him have the money.  She asks if he's saving up for something in the area of jewelry, or something chocolaty, or flower-like.  He says no to all of this.  She snaps, "Then you're not having it, you selfish little devil!"

Tarzan:  The girls bring some plants through the kitchen and into the lounge.
Jo:  Do you think they need to know it's not the real sun?
Chrissy:  Well, I won't tell them if you won't.

Robin enters from his bedroom.  With a colourful towel wrapped around him, he prances while singing the inevitable stripper tune.  ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-9F_HWel5g )  Chrissy reads a brochure, and Jo looks equally unimpressed.  The audience is very amused.

Robin drops his towel and strikes a muscleman pose.  Chrissy says it makes you want to kick sand in his face.  Robin's suit is a bit lowcut, but maybe that was the style in the '70s, despite the modest things I'd see Archie and Reggie wear in the comic books.

Robin says, "I'm amazed at how you two girls can control that animal  passion that must be seething inside you."  Chrissy laughs.

He lies down on the floor.  He says there are plenty of girls who'd melt at the sight of these rippling muscles.  Chrissy asks who, which of course invokes the Lenny & Squiggy rule.  Mrs. Roper comes in, returning sugar, but she gets very distracted by Robin.  She tells him that he looks a little bit like Tarzan in the midst of all the plants.

He has Jo turn on the lamp.  She asks if he wants to be rare, medium, or well done.  Chrissy says that too much of it is bad for you, and asks Mrs. Roper to confirm this.  Not thinking of sunlight, Mildred says, "I wouldn't know, Love."

Jo says if they had two lamps, Robin could do his back and front at the same time.  With a slight American accent, Chrissy says, "That's the way they do Kentucky Fried Chicken."  Laughing, Jo says he'd be finger lickin' good.  Chrissy and Mildred laugh, too.

Mildred goes to get her lamp.  Uh oh.

Dusty:  She looks for the lamp downstairs.  George returns from wherever he's been.  She says her sister gave her the lamp because it was getting dusty.  He asks if this is the one with the scratches off the back.  When she says yes, he says he hasn't seen it.

He gets very defensive about her not trusting him.  She tries to apologise, but he says he'll swear on the Bible.  He mumbles though, so she says, "You don't fool God by mumbling, George."

She thinks the lamp has been stolen.  Then she realises that Robin has a sunray lamp upstairs.  She's shocked as it sinks in.

And we go to adverts.

There's not all that much more of the scene when we return.  Mildred says she doesn't want to believe Mr. Tripp is a thief.  And we go back up to the middle flat.

Rabbits:  Robin wonders how his tan is coming along.  Chrissy says if he were a sausage, she could stick a fork in him.  (No, this doesn't count as RCST, sorry.) 

He says it's boring laying here and he'd like her to make rabbits (shadow puppet rabbits) on his chest.  When Jo comes in, Chrissy says, "He wants me to make rabbits on his chest!"  Jo calls him a dirty devil, which is usually what people call George.

Jo says Robin has only been under the lamp for a few minutes.  Chrissy says, "What do you expect, instant Harry Belafonte?"

Mildred returns and says she couldn't find her lamp.  Chrissy says they'll make do with one and turn Robin round on a spit.

Mildred sees that this lamp has the same scratches as her lamp. 

Robin asks Jo for something to protect his nose from peeling.  She goes to get an empty corn flakes packet.  (Do I have to add a "Corn Flakes" tag for these posts now?)
Robin:  It's not that big!
Mildred:  How long have you had it?
Robin:  Ever since I was born.
Then he realises she means the lamp rather than his nose.  He says he got it off Larry half an hour ago.  She says, "Larry?  Of course, I might've known."

Footprints:  George is feeding the budgie, who doesn't get enough onscreen time to merit the "Roper's bird" tag.  Mildred returns and says it's her lamp and now she knows who took it.  George defensively says it's a lie.  She says it was Mr. Simmonds upstairs.

George says she'll need proof, like footprints.  She says she's accusing Larry of stealing the lamp, not dancing on it.

When they look out the window and see Larry coming back, George insists that it's a man's job confronting Larry.  He greets Larry at the front door and yells at him so Mildred will think he's getting tough.  He escorts Larry upstairs, yelling some more.  She comes out of her flat and waits at the foot of the stairs.

When they get to Larry's flat, George tells him they're having nice weather for this time of year.  There's a poster of a blonde girl behind them, naked to the waist.  George yells that Larry can't let it happen again.  Then he quietly says it was nice talking to Larry.

He goes back downstairs to his own flat.  He tells Mildred that Larry broke down and confessed, in tears.  She says Larry has got to go.  George says they can't be too harsh.  Larry is an orphan from a broken home.  (It strikes me now that we don't know anything about Larry's family, unlike the rest of the people in the building.  We even know more about Percy the barman.) 
George:  He hasn't had a lot of love.
Mildred:  Neither have I, but I don't go around stealing lamps.

George says it's better to give than to receive.  She points out that she didn't give the lamp, Larry nicked it.

George asks, "How do you think his poor old grey-haired mum and dad are gonna feel?"  She says he just said they're dead.  He says that doesn't mean they haven't got any feelings.

Mildred says she'll think it over, but right now she's going to get her lamp.  He tells her that he'll get it and she can make a nice cuppa.  He exits and she shakes her head.

Villa:  Robin wears part of the corn flakes packet, saying "ORN," over his nose, held in place by his sunglasses.  He checks on the time and then takes a break.  He tells Chrissy that tomorrow he'll tan himself in a place he hasn't before.  He points to a few feet over.  She laughs.

She tells him the villa sleeps four and is overlooking the sea and sand.  He says that's overlooking the price.  She says they're splitting it so they each pay half.  He says that's 200%.

Mr. Roper knocks and lets himself in.  He says it's nice weather for this time of year.  Chrissy says it's pouring down.  He says it's nice inside.

He tells Robin, "I want to borrow your whatshisname for a bit, mainly to keep Mildred happy."  The audience reacts to this innuendo.  Chrissy says he'll never get it downstairs without taking the wheels off.  Robin says he might bend the aerial a bit.  Chrissy says then they'll never get any icecubes.  George says he means the lamp.

Robin says he'll need it back later.  George says that's all right because it'll have all blown over by then.  He exits with the lamp.

He goes downstairs and calls to Mildred.

Sap:  The lamp has been doing Chrissy's plants some good.  Robin, now wearing a turtleneck but still his shorts, says, "And me."  By spring he'll have blossoms under there, meaning his armpits.

As Jo enters in a black bikini, Robin says, "I can feel my sap-- rising."  Chrissy, looking at the buds on the plant says, "Oh, I think one of them's starting to come out."  Robin says yes.

Jo wants to sunbathe.  Chrissy says Jo's suit doesn't leave much to the imagination.  Jo says, "If you've got it, let the air get to it.  Anyway, the one you bought shows even more."  So Robin suggests that Chrissy sunbathe, too.  Chrissy says she'd quite like to, if they had the lamp.  Robin says he'll get the lamp. 

Jo says if she keeps the top half on, she'll get white marks.  Chrissy says she needs someone to rub her suntain oil in.  Robin is getting nervously excited.  He runs down to get the lamp.  Chrissy says there was steam coming out of his ears.

"Why, Mr. Tripp?":  Robin knocks but no one answers.  He lets himself in and sees the lamp.

The Ropers go down the hallway, she with the tea tray.  He suggests they forget the whole thing.  She says young people these days seem to have no respect for other people's property.

Robin exits their flat, taking the lamp.  She sadly asks, "Why, Mr. Tripp?"  He says he wants it.  She says it doesn't belong to Mr. Simmonds.  He says it's his and goes upstairs with it.

Mildred:  George!
George:  Perhaps he's an orphan as well.

Wooly's:  Robin plugs the lamp in again, but he's all thumbs.  He strips off his turtleneck, and squeezes in between the two girls, who are sitting on the floor.  Chrissy's blue bikini is actually less revealing than Jo's.  He offers suntan lotion, but Chrissy says they already put it on.

Larry comes in and remarks on the "lovely pairs."  Putting her sunglasses on, Chrissy says you can get 'em at Wooly's (I assume Woolworth's), for only one pound fifty.

Robin gets to his feet and says, "You've got a nose for this sort of thing," meaning finding girls in bikinis.  He asks what Larry wants, but Larry has forgotten. 
Larry:  Can I stay and watch?
Robin:  Be my guest.
Larry:  You're a mate.
They shake hands and of course Robin gets suntan oil on Larry.

Mildred comes in and takes the lamp.  She says, "I'm very sorry about your parents, Mr. Simmonds."  Everyone is baffled.  She says she can understand Larry stealing, but Robin?  Larry says, "Hang on a bit," and he bought it off Mr. Roper for 5 quid.  Robin says, "How much?"

Beeton and Beaten:  In the last scene, George is sitting on the settee when Mildred comes home with the lamp.  She says he swore on the Bible.  He says it was actually Mrs. Beeton's World Cookery Book.  The audience laughs a lot.  (I suspect this is a made-up title, since the Victorian author is mainly known for her massively successful Mrs. Beeton's Book of Household Management.) 

She thinks he needed the money for more of his mucky little magazines.  He says it was the deposit for a holiday, a second honeymoon, and it was meant to be a surprise.  He thought it would bring them together closer than they've been for some time.  She's touched.

But the travel agency wasn't open and the betting shop was.  He bet on a horse.  The episode ends on her about to bean him with Mrs. Beaton.

Commentary:  Lecherous as Jack and Amer-Larry are, they do live in a world where girls frequently wear bikinis, so I don't think that they'd be as stunned as Robin and Brit-Larry are.  The Englishmen can hang porn on their walls, but presented with the sight of their two female friends more undressed than they've ever seen them, steam comes out of their ears.  And it's not as if Chrissy and Jo have extraordinary figures.  The girls are cute but I suspect you could find more amazing bodies in London.

Mildred shouldn't hit George with a heavy book, but it's understandable, more so than the fuss over the dance last episode.  And I do have to wonder why George works in a betting shop (first mentioned many episodes ago), if he likes to bet.  But then I never understood why Sam Malone was running Cheers if he was an alcoholic.

Other than that, not much to say.  This is another of the episodes with nice writing (like the "selling Larry" bit) but not much plot.  It's mainly notable for being the episode right before Robin's brother shows up and changes everything....

"The Generation Game"

Rooted as MatH35 is in the specific characters of the show, I can't see it being Americanized, unless with drastic changes.  "The Generation Game" takes its title from a British gameshow that started in 1971 and has been revived a few times, apparently being referenced in the third Harry Potter movie.  This MatH episode aired 10 March 1976.

Pluto:  As the episode opens, Robin and Chrissy are returning from the cinema.
Robin:  You know something?  That's got to be one of the sexiest films I've ever seen.  Yeah, I don't know how they got away with it.  There were a couple moments there that were really getting me going.
Chrissy:  And me.  That moment where Pluto leapt onto Donald Duck's bed.

They go into the flat.  He says that the cartoon was sexy, too, but he was thinking more of the main feature film.  She says he told her the film was going to be cultural.  He says it was.  What that girl was doing to that fellow was symbolic.
Chrissy:  (as they sit on the settee) Of what?
Robin:  Why should I care?  He didn't. 
They laugh.  Then, putting his arm around her, he says, "I don't suppose you feel a teeny bit symbolic, do you?"

Jo comes in with a half bottle of milk, a bowl, a spoon, and a box of Kellogg's Corn Flakes.  Robin tells Chrissy to forget it, but he's not giving up of course.

Robin:  If we didn't share a flat, I'd have come back to your place, or you'd have come back to mine.
Chrissy:  Well, we've done that.
Robin:  Yes, that is true.

Jo has poured herself a bowl of corn flakes.  Robin suggests she go to bed.  She says she's got a bowl of corn flakes.  He says it's not the same.  You can't snuggle up in a bowl of corn flakes.  You'd get your pyjamas soggy.

Using a phrase she's used before, Jo says, "Look, I don't like playing gooseberry in the manger." 
Robin:  (to Chrissy) Well, who would?
Jo:  So if you two are in the mood--
Chrissy:  I'm not in the mood!
Robin:  Think of Pluto, leaping onto Donald Duck's bed.

Jo tells them they'll have to wait till tomorrow night, when she's going out to a party.  Chrissy says, "I might not still be in the mood."  Robin says, "What do you mean still?"  Chrissy laughs.  Robin exclaims, "Jo, I can't wait!"

Jo tells him to not be so impatient.  Chrissy, who's gotten up from the settee, says he's got to learn to hang his hat up first.
Robin:  Oh, yeah, point taken.  Tomorrow night it is, just the two of us.  (As Chrissy leans forward, resting her elbows on the settee)  I shall prepare a meal, with candlelight, wine, music.  What more could a man ask?
Chrissy:  Oh, you'll think of something.
Robin:  Very true.
Chrissy:  What makes you think tomorrow night's gonna be any different?  We've been alone before.
Robin:  Because you're starting to weaken.  For instance, last night you nearly gve in.  (He leers at her.)
Chrissy:  I didn't!  I was washing my hair!  (She goes towards the kitchen.)
Robin:  Not in my dream, you weren't.
From the kitchen doorframe, she gives him a look with a wide, surprised mouth, and then an "oh, you" look.

Kojak:  In the downstairs bathroom, George wears a dark blue undershirt as he trims his nose hairs.  Mildred comes in, wearing her pink dressing gown.

She makes him stand behind her so she can put pins in her hair.  He thinks the nose hairs prove he has very virile nostrils.  She suggests he pluck a few of them and plant them on his head.  He says she's always making remarks about his forehead.  She says she never mentions it, then tells him to move over because it's flashing in her eyes.

He says, "You seem to like baldness in other fellows.  Like that man who goes around saying, 'Who loves you, Baby?' "  She thinks he means the milkman, but he of course means Kojak.  (Making the second of the show's Telly Savalas references.) 
George:  What's he got that I haven't got?
Mildred:  A big lollipop.
This innuendo gets a lot of laughter from the audience.

She asks if he's coming to bed.  He asks what for and she says to sleep.  He says he doesn't mind that.  She crosses her arms.

He looks at his watch and says it's a bit early.  She says they'll be very late tomorrow.  He remembers the "toffee-nosed knees-up."  She calls it the Floral Society's Annual Dinner Dance.  (I like that her interest in flowers has continued.)  He imitates one of the guests, saying, "May I have the pleasure of a quick Twist,  Lady Snootycock?  Or perchance you prefer to wait for the Black Bottom."  (1960s dance, 1920s dance, both very un-snooty.)  This reminds her that he'll need to take a bath.  (Like Chrissy washing her hair, apparently not a daily activity.)

George says he's not going.  She says he'll enjoy it this time, implying that he went last time and didn't enjoy it.  They'll be cruising down the Thames.  He says it's against nature, dancing on a boat, an extreme way of putting it.  They argue about whether he'll go, till she grabs his arm, making him squeeze the toothpaste tube he's holding, and the paste squirts out onto them.

Siege mentality:  Chrissy is at the kitchen table reading the newspaper.  Robin is standing, holding a book open.
Robin:  Right.  I shall breach your outer defences with a seductive seafood salad.  I will then batter down your drawbridge with my Beef Wellington.  And you will finally surrender to my apple dumplings.
Chrissy:  (amused)  Sounds like an orgy.

He tells her that this meal has been banned in 39 countries.  She says he's cooked for her before and it never got him anywhere.  He says that they've always had Blondie Bumstead around, which amuses me because I've recently read a collection of early Blondie, and B.B. definitely had Jo's Gracie-Allenness.

Robin says that tonight it'll just be the two of them.  Chrissy says, "Hard luck, I'm on a man-free diet." (Her last boyfriend we saw was on MatH30, with the ground rules of bringing dates home.)  Undeterred, Robin says he'll splash out (spend money on) a nice bottle of wine.  Then afterwards, they'll have coffee and brandy.  He laughs evilly.

Jo comes in and Robin asks if she's still going out tonight.  When she says yes, he says, "That is a pity, because the mood I'm in, I think I could tackle both of you."
Chrissy:  That's confidence for you.
Jo:  Ah, there's many a man who has a two-car garage that only has a bicycle inside.
This deservedly gets a great deal of audience laughter.  She says she read it on the back of a matchbox.

She asks if he's going to the shops.  In a French accent, he says, "But of course I am.  A master chef always gets his ingredients at the very last moment."  She tells him not to forget the toilet rolls.  Annoyed, he speaks Frenglish, ending in the word "bicycle."  Then he exits.

Chrissy:  (to Jo) He really fancies his chances.
Jo:  So do I fancy his chances.  After what you did in his dream last night.
Chrissy:  His dreams have got nothing to do with me.
Jo:  There's no smoke without fire.
Chrissy:  Look, I can handle Robin, and his Beef Wellington.  No problem.  (pause)  You're not gonna be out too late tonight, are you?

Sore toe:  Downstairs later, George is reading the newspaper.  Mildred comes in wearing a dress that has splashes of yellow, pink, red, and green, a bit like petals.  She has a yellow corsage on her left shoulder.  Again, she has dressed for a floral occasion.

She tells him they're leaving in less than two hours and she's run him a bath.  He says he doesn't want to go and he has a sore toe.  As she puts on earrings, looking into their very '70s butterfly-shaped mirror, she says that he had a headache last night, and there's something wrong with him at both ends.  "And in between isn't functioning too well either."

She tells him that he should have a bath anyway, even if he's not going.  Then he could put on a clean shirt and a suit, comb his hair.  Even if he's not going, it'll make him feel better.  He says, "Oh yeah?  Then I might as well walk you down to the corner, even though I'm not going.  Call you a taxi, even though I'm not going.  You must think I'm daft.  I'm not going."

Sitting on the arm of the settee and leaning over him, she says, "George, you are taking advantage of the fact that I'm a weak woman and easily dominated."  He cowers and says he isn't.  He just wants to stay home.

She gets up and says she'll get a man to take her, even if it is short notice.  He says the man can have his bath.  She glares at him.

Dumplings:  Back in the upstairs kitchen, Robin is cutting apples and he says his apple dumplings will melt in Chrissy's mouth.  She's watching warily from the doorframe.  She says, "You won't get carried away tonight, will you?"  He says there'll be a stretcher party standing by.  She denies being worried.

He goes over to the oven and takes something out, preparing it, as she stands next to him.  He says she's got willpower and self-control.  She'll be able to resist his feeble blandishments.  He continues, "Yes, I mean, just because I've wined you and dined you."  He chuckles. 
Robin:  We'll all be alone.  [sic]  You, you won't worry, will you?
Chrissy:  (quietly) No.
Robin:  I don't believe it either.  Hee hee!
He chucks under her chin and she tells him, "Oh, get off!"

She exits and we cut to Jo doing her makeup in the lounge mirror.  She's wearing a black dress that shows off her arms and shoulders, possibly the stunning dress from "I Won't Dance."  We see Chrissy appear in the background of the mirror, as she asks if there's room for another girl at the party.  Jo says no, it would spoil the balance of three men to every girl.  Chrissy admits that Robin's making her nervous.  Jo tells her to lie back and think of England.  This makes Chrissy even more worried.

Jo asks the time.  Chrissy looks at her watch and says, "Quarter to sex.  Er, six!"

Mrs. Roper lets herself in without knocking because she's returning Jo's perfume.  She says it was wasted on George of course.
Jo:  Oh, it was supposed to go on you.
Mildred:  Yes, er, I did use it, Love.

Mildred says that George is being his usual self.  Chrissy says this is pretty rotten of him.  Mildred says George won't come to the dance.  Jo says he let Mrs. Roper down at the last minute.  "Oh, I'm used to that, Love."

Mildred says she was wondering what Mr. Tripp was up to.  Jo, smiling, says he may have his hands full.  Chrissy protests, "No, he won't!"

As Robin enters from the kitchen, Chrissy says he's free tonight.  He says, "I may be free.  I may make a small charge."

The girls explain why Mrs. Roper needs an escort tonight.
Robin:  Oh, you know I'd love to but--
Chrissy:  He'd love to.
Robin:  Wait a minute.  I said but.
He says he's pretty dratty (?) company.  Jo says, "That is true."

Mildred:  I won't be offended, Love, if you say no.
Robin:  Oh, good.  No.
Mildred:  (offended) I see.
He tries to rephrase it better but can't.

She says she knows he doesn't want a boring evening with a middle-aged woman.  He says, "You're very understanding."  She says she'll leave "you young people."  Chrissy tells Robin, "Well, congratulations.  You really made her day."  Then we hear the door slam.

Submarines:  George is again reading the paper when Mildred returns.  She yells, "Get dressed, you're coming!"  He asks what happened to the hordes of fellows queuing up to take her out.  She again orders him to get dressed.

George:  (on his feet) I do not cave in to threats, Mildred.
Mildred:  Oh, yes, you do.  (pointing) Bathroom!

They go down the hallway to the bathroom.  (I've never really talked about this much, but the layout is odd in that the Ropers have to leave their lounge to go to the bathroom and kitchen.  The bedroom seems to be off of the lounge.  I can only assume that this is because it's an old building and that's how things got divided when it was turned into flats.)

She tells him not to play submarines, since there isn't time.  He locks himself into the bathroom and says he'll stay there till it's all over.  She bangs on the door, telling him to come out.

And we go to the adverts.

Cinderella:  When we return, Robin is opening a wine bottle in the lounge.  Jo is filing her nails, while Chrissy sulks on the settee.  Robin says, "Let's not spoil our evening, just because I've spoiled hers."

Chrissy:  She's been looking forward to this riverboat thing for weeks.
Jo:  Now she can't go.  She'll be sitting down there.
Chrissy:  By the fireside, crying.
Robin:  Oh, don't forget the cinders and the pumpkin and the mice.  I mean, why blame me?  Why not blame old Roper? 
Chrissy:  (standing next to Robin with her hands on her hips) Because he's a mean, rotten, little swine and you're not.
Robin:  And that's the full extent of my guilt?
Chrissy:  Yes.
Robin:  Right.  Case dismissed.

Jo:  (as Robin lights the candles) Listen, she's done us favours.
Chrissy:  Many times.
Jo:  At least you could do one for her.
Chrissy:  It's not too much to ask.
Robin:  What is this, stereophonic nagging?

He says he was in the middle of preparing a meal, looking forward to--
Chrissy:  I know what you were looking forward to.  I can do it myself.
Robin:  (shaking his head) You can't, Chrissy, it's not the same.
Chrissy:  I can finish cooking the meal, and I can save you some for supper.

As he fumblingly protests, the girls each blow out a candle.  He says, "It's not fair."

Woodworm:  Mildred is still standing outside the bathroom.  She tells George that grown men do not lock themselves in the lavatory.  Her tone moving from sweet to hostile, she tells him to be sensible and discuss this like reasonable people.

Inside the bathroom, he's throwing paper airplanes he made out of the toilet roll.  He tells her it's no use looking at him like that.  It doesn't work through two inches of chipboard.

As she threatens him, Robin comes along.  Embarrassed, she says she was talking to the woodworm, the little devils.

He asks for a word with her, so she suggests they go in the lounge.  She tells him, "After you," and then pats his bottom.

They go to the lounge and he tells her that he's been thinking over her kind offer, unless she's found someone else.  She hasn't.  He says that's a relief and he'll take her.  "I mean, may I take you?  I'd esteem it a great privilege."

She says, "Mr. Tripp, you're too kind."  She says she couldn't accept, so he starts to leave.  "But if you really want to go, I mustn't disappoint you."  She tells him he'll need a tie and he can meet her downstairs in half an hour.  Trying to sound convincing, he says, "I'm sure I'm really going to enjoy this."  He exits.  She looks pleased and relieved.

All's fair:  Upstairs later, Chrissy polishes Robin's shoes.  She tells him, "You'll probably enjoy it."  He enters from his bedroom, in a suit and tie.
Robin:  Like hell I will.  I know why you're forcing me to go.  It's because you were beginning to weaken.
Chrissy:  (giggling) All's fair in lust and war.
Robin:  What about my poor Beef Wellington?
She again says she'll save him some.

Chrissy:  And I'll promise you something else.  I'll sit at the table and think sexy thoughts about you.
Robin:  What?
Chrissy:  Well, it's not as safe when you're here.
She laughs.

Jo enters from the kitchen and says she lost an earring.  Chrissy suggests she take the other one off and go with matching earlobes.

As Jo starts to leave, Chrissy has her take Robin with her, so he doesn't make a break for it.  Chrissy blows Robin a kiss.  He clenches his fist.  Jo leads him out.

Through the keyhole:  We return to George in the downstairs bathroom.  Holding a toilet-paper airplane, he listens at the door.  He says he knows she's still out there. 
George:  You don't frighten me by not threatening me.
Mildred:  (offscreen) Yes, I'm here, George.
She startles him.

She's wearing a gold jacket over her dress.  It looks like alligator skin.  She says, "As far as I'm concerned, George, you can stay in there from Monday to Saturday, all year if you like.  I'll shove your birthday cake through the keyhole."  She takes a sip of champagne from a glass.

Jo and Robin come downstairs.  She says, "Bye-bye.  Enjoy yourself."  He goes down the hallway towards the bathroom.

Mildred says, "I don't care if you ever come out.  You can stay in there and rot!"  She sees Robin and he says, "You're really giving those woodworm a hard time, aren't you?"

She hands him her glass, which he sets down.  Then he gives her his arm.
Robin:  Er, goodnight, Mr. Roper.
George:  Who's that?
He thinks Mildred is still out there, but she doesn't answer.

Riverboat:  A boat is at the dock.  A plump doorman with a moustache and white uniform takes Robin and Mildred's tickets, tearing them in half.  In the background, swingin' jazzy music plays, like something from Benny Hill or a mid-1960s teen movie.

Restraint:  George emerges from the bathroom and calls to Mildred.  He tells her he expects her to behave with restraint.  He edges down the hallway.  He tells her to not muck about.  He checks the lounge, but it's empty.

Shrapnel:  In the upstairs kitchen, Chrissy wears a non-naughty apron as she takes the plate of Beef Wellington out of the oven and sets it on the counter.

George comes in, looking for Mildred.  Chrissy says Mrs. Roper has gone to the dinner dance with Robin.  George is amused that she took the young fellow and thinks she must've twisted his arm.  He says, "I got out of it, you know."  Chrissy, who's wrapping the Beef Wellington in something yellow (dough?), says, "If I may so, it was reprehensible."  George sincerely says, "Oh, thank you very much," clearly not understanding.

He says he can't dance because of his leg.  "I've had it since the war."  She asks how long he's had the other one.  He says the leg has a piece of Jerry shrapnel.  A yard nearer his heart and he'd have been dead.  She says, "Yeah, you have mentioned it."

He says that during the war, night after night they took everything the Jerry bombers threw at them:  two ounces of cheese and a little bit of bacon.

Talking of food, Mildred didn't leave him any supper.  He asks about what Chrissy's making, and she says it's Beef Wellington.  When he hears she's on her own, he says it's quite a lot for one.
Chrissy:  (as she puts it back in the oven) Are you hinting, Mr. Roper?
George:  What?
Chrissy:  You want to share this?
George:  Oh, that's very kind of you.  Thank you, I accept.

He says he'll go tidy up a bit.  "If Mildred can go out with a young fellow, what's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander."  He gives her a huge wink and exits.  She's wide-eyed with shock.

Mazurka:  We cut, not to a goose, but a swan, possibly the one from the credits, although that's a daytime shot.  Then we pan to the boat.

Robin, Mildred, and the other passengers applaud at the end of a musical number.  Robin apologises for kicking her knee but he didn't know the steps of the dance.  She says it was the Palais Glide.  ( http://www.kickery.com/2010/04/palais-glide.html )
Mildred:  Perhaps later we might have a Mazurka.
Robin:  Oh, good, I'm starving.
(Even though it's a dinner dance, they never actually eat, so I hope George doesn't gobble up all the Beef Wellington.)

They go to a table and sit down.  She drinks while he glances at his watch.
Mildred:  I hope you're not feeling out of it, Dear.
Robin:  Oh, no, I feel right in it.

Robin says he's the youngest one here and he hopes she doesn't mind.  She says she does have a reputation to think of, and this isn't doing it a bit of harm.  She says there are terrible gossips in the group, especially the one over there in the blue dress.  "Mind you, I can't stand gossip myself.  Especially when it comes from someone who's no better than she ought to be.  I mean, after all, I don't take an hour and a half to get my meter read."

He starts to smoke but she takes his cigarette when the Quick Step starts.  She tells him that it's more his generation than the other dance.

Scaffolding:  Chrissy smiles as she brings two bowls over to the table in the lounge.  George arrives in a suit and tie.

He brought "a flower for a flower."  It's a red rose, plastic so it'll last longer.  He got it free with a packet of slug pellets.  She's amused but polite.

He lights the candles and says, "We more mature men think of these niceties."  She offers him carrots, but they give him wind.
George:  The more mature man isn't so impetuous.
Chrissy:  You hang your hat up first.
George:  (touching his head) What hat?

She calls him a masher (decades-old term for a man who makes unwanted advances towards a woman).  He admits it and then wonders where she heard the word.  She says her granddad used to say it.

George says, "The more mature man can sometimes be attractive to the younger woman, wouldn't you say so?"  She shakes her head.

She offers him beans but they give him the gallops.

He says that Mildred and the young fellow is the same difference really.  Chrissy rises to Mildred's defence, saying she's looked after herself and is still a very attractive woman.  He says, "Well, so am I.  Man I mean."  He says that given Mildred didn't have much to start with, she's kept it going, done a good job of scaffolding.
Chrissy:  A lot of men would find her very attractive.
George:  A lot of men need glasses.

He thinks Robin went to the dance out of pity, but Chrissy denies it.  He says Robin can't fancy Mildred.  Chrissy says he underestimates his wife.
George:  Does he fancy her?
Chrissy:  (amused) I didn't say that.
George:  Come to think of it, I've seen him eying her on the stairway.  And now they're out together.  I've heard of these shipboard romances.  Middle-aged women and the giggle-os.

He says it'll be a shove in a doorway and a quick snog. 
Chrissy:  He wouldn't do that!
George:  I'm talking about her.
He says Mildred is very impetuous and Robin wouldn't be too choosy in the dark. 

Getting to his feet, he says, "I see what she was up to now, locking me in the loo!"  He throws down his serviette and exclaims, "Corblimey!"

Shoulders:  We get to see a bit of Robin and Mildred dancing together.  They clap as the tune ends.  She says she really felt as if she was floating.  He points out that this is a boat.

They sit down again.
Mildred:  Oh!  I feel like a 20-year-old girl.
Robin:  (muttering) So do I.

He says it's warm in here.  Putting her hand on his knee, she suggests a stroll on the deck.  So he says it's not that warm, although he fans himself with a serviette.  She removes her hand and looks disappointed.

A taxi pulls up.  George gets out and tells the cabbie to wait there.  The doorman stops him.  George says, "Evening, Captain," and salutes.

The doorman asks for his ticket.  George says he left it in his other suit.  The doorman says, "Got another suit, have we?  And we wear that one?  Go on."  George runs across the bridge and onto the boat.  The doorman is played by Mike Savage, one of the dustmen on "How Does Your Garden Grow."

Mildred says that the terrible thing about George is he never pays her those little compliments.  Taking the hint, Robin says that's a very pretty dress.  She says that some people consider her shoulders her best features.  Pointing at the one nearest him, the left one, he says, "Especially that one."  Nothing against the other, but if it came to a crunch, that would definitely be the one for him.  She looks flattered, but he looks uncomfortable.

George comes over and asks, "What have you two been up to, eh?"  He tells Mildred she's coming home with him, and he pulls her arm.  She stands and then Robin does, too.  Robin says George is making a scene.

George tries to fight Robin.  Robin asks what he's done.  George says, "They all seem the same to you in the dark."  He tries to get Robin to put up his fists, too, so Robin starts to take off his jacket.  Then George hides behind Mildred, so Robin puts his jacket back on.

George insists on going home.  He hands Mildred her coat but dashes out.  Robin drapes the coat over her and gets her purse.  Mildred tells George he's being childish.

He's so upset, he accidentally falls off the boat.  Mildred and Robin remind us that George can't swim.

Robin hands Mildred her purse and starts to take his jacket off again.  Mildred says, "No, that is your new suit."  She hands Robin the life preserver, telling him to sling it to George.  Robin does so.  And the episode ends.

I must note that Jo's keychain in the credits has a picture of David Bowie, so either they changed it or I was hallucinating when I first saw it.

Commentary: 
Jessica Tate:  Mickey Mouse's dog was gay???...
Jodie Dallas:  Yeah, Goofy was his lover.
(My favorite quote from Soap, airing a year or two after MatH35.)

"I felt so symbolic yesterday."
(My favorite ridiculous quote from the Counting Crows' "Mr. Jones.")

OK, now that I've got those quotes out of my system, let's talk about the RCST.  We haven't had much of it lately, but here we have Robin deliberately taking Chrissy to a movie that he finds sexy.  She fends him off with banter, and yet the way she teases him about maybe not being still in the mood tomorrow is double-edged.  If she genuinely isn't interested in him, then she's being either outright cruel or just playful.  But she should also realise that she is leading him on by the way she teases.  She could give him a flat "no now and forever," and he'd probably back off.  But she doesn't, and never has. 

Because the truth is, Chrissy is tempted, as she was on the "mouse" episode.  I don't think she's been "weakening" lately, any more than she was during that episode, or the parallel-universe movie.  And she pretty much admits that, besides wanting to help Mrs. Roper, she's sending Robin out in order to be "safe" to think sexy thoughts about him.

And it is seen as "weakening," giving in, surrendering.  That's how Robin talks, like he's laying siege to her.  Yes, it's definitely more seduction than attempted rape, but it's certainly never "Hey, Robin, you turn me on, too, and I think it's time."  That would be out of character for Chrissy, and perhaps out-of-decade,  although we are deeper into the 1970s and even-nice-girls-doing.  Robin is aiming more for an "OK, you win."

We again get a sense of Jo as Robin's second choice, when he says he could "tackle" both girls tonight.  And as always, Jo thinks Chrissy and Robin will get together eventually.  But "Lie back and think of England" suggests Jo thinks Chrissy won't enjoy Robin deflowering her.

There's again a hint of female masturbation, when Robin tells Chrissy it's not the same doing it herself, although I'm not clear if sometimes innocent Chrissy picks up on it.

As I've said, it's hard to feel too sorry for George when he's being rotten to the kids (or cheating on Mildred), but honestly, it's just a dance.  If he doesn't want to go, he shouldn't have to.  Yes, it's a shame that Mildred married a man who isn't as fun-loving as she is, but either divorce him, find a platonic friend (other than Robin) to go dancing with (as Peg Bundy did on Married with Children IIRC), or find an activity that she can enjoy with her husband.  (Without getting him drunk I mean.)  I don't like how she intimidates him on this episode, dominating him while pretending to be the weak little woman.

As for Robin, he has a point that he's even less obligated to go than Mr. Roper is.  However, he could've let Mrs. Roper down more gently, or heck, told her the truth, that he was cooking a special dinner that night.  (He wouldn't have to say it was for Chrissy.)  Or he could've reminded her of what we learned on "I Won't Dance," that he's not a very good dancer. 

Besides, knowing how fond Chrissy is of Mrs. Roper, does he really expect to successfully seduce Chrissy when he's disappointing her friend?  Why not sacrifice the evening in making Mrs. Roper happy, win some points, and then spend a different evening with Chrissy?  They live together.  It's not like there won't be other opportunities.

I'm not sure if it's a cultural or a generational difference, but it is weird how Mildred can pat Robin's bum yet still call him Mr. Tripp.  The episode makes clear that young people wouldn't find middle-aged people attractive, or at least Robin and Chrissy wouldn't be attracted to the Ropers.  I don't think that would play the same in the age of the MILF and the cougar, not to mention 65-year-old Alan Rickman being a sex symbol, but 35 years ago the generation gap was like a chasm.  Not that people didn't have partners of different generations-- that's always existed-- but it seems to have been a bigger deal then than now.  Remember, in The Graduate (1967), the age difference between Mrs. Robinson and Benjamin was 15 years.  (And it was only 6 years between Anne Bancroft and Dustin Hoffman.  By the way, Normal Fell has a cameo in that movie, as a landlord.)

And finally, it's a riverboat cruise, but they stay docked the entire time?

The Last Picture Show of Home Movies

The fifth series of MatH gets new credits.  The trio are on a boat.  Not only do I have no idea how they can afford it, but Robin is drinking champagne.  Chrissy tries to start the motor but falls back.  Then she pulls up a snorkel, throws it back to the diver, and tries to look nonchalant. 

Jo sunbathes on her stomach and undoes the top of her bikini.  A fisherman catches her top.  She's next shown sitting up, with a towel over her front.  She's surprised and then amused.  Robin strips off his shirt then hands it to Jo.  He and Chrissy smile.  Robin takes off his hat, which says, "Hello Sailor," and bows to Jo.

I don't like these as much as the zoo credits, although Robin's chivalry is cute.  It feels off to have Chrissy suddenly having mishaps like this.  (Jo's mishap is not of her own making.)  Also, there's less of a feel to the trio having fun together, compared to the zoo credits.  I'm guessing for series six, we'll get a modification of these, but I won't spoil myself this time.

As for the episode itself, it aired on 4 September 1975, just about two years after "And Then There Were Two."  The title is of course a reference to the 1971 film directed by Peter Bogdanovich, based on the 1966 novel by Larry McMurtry.  The Americans went with the more prosaic "Home Movies" for their 24th episode, which appeared on Jan. 24, 1978.  That placed #14 in the ratings, the second-lowest rated episode in the first three years of the show.  (The pilot was #28).  Not that that's a bad rating, but it feels particularly low considering the teasing premise.

Battleship Potemkin:  MatH opens with Jo and Robin sitting on the settee.  She's reading a magazine and he's watching the telly, with an archbishop at the Methodist Conference.  Jack and Janet are watching TV together, but from their body language, she's riveted and he's bored.  A male character is threatening suicide, with his wife trying to talk him out of it.

Robin uses the remote to switch to a description of a boxing match.  Then he switches back to the conference, amused at the juxtaposition.  Jo tells him to stop that or he'll break the channel-changer.  He says there's nothing else to do.

When Jack switches the channel, Janet is upset.  Jack switches back, at a dentures commercial, which he makes segue into a glue ad.  All Janet catches is the end of the movie.  When Jack gets off the couch, she lies down.

Robin /Jack says the ice glaciers are advancing at a rate of half an inch every year.  He thinks they should take advantage of the time left, so he tries to take advantage of her.  In Robin's case, he jumps her and she pushes him off.  Jack is less aggressive.  He hovers over Janet's supine body and tries to kiss her.  She pushes him away and says no dice.  He tries to use the remote on her.

Brit-Chrissy comes home with a man wearing glasses, a plaid jacket, and a pink tie.  He's a very tall redhead who smokes a pipe and carries a briefcase.  Amer-Chrissy's date looks less stereotypically pseudo-intellectual, but both he and she are wearing turtlenecks.  Peter Greene plays Brit-Neil and he doesn't have any memorable credits, just the usual Dr. Who, Carry On, etc.  Stuart Gillard would go on to be a successful director, most notably for Avonlea and Charmed, so his role as Neil the film buff feels especially appropriate.

The Chrissys are surprised that their roommates are still awake.  Robin says it's half past ten.  When Amer-Chrissy says, "I thought you two would be in bed by now," Jack smiles and says, "It's not for lack of trying."  Janet puts popcorn in his mouth.

The Chrissys introduce their date, Neil.  He belongs to the local film society, which tonight was showing The Battleship Potemkin ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Battleship_Potemkin ), with two hours of footage that Eisenstein left on the cutting room floor.  Jo says, "We had a pretty boring evening, too."  Chrissy suggests Jo make coffee.  For once, 3'sC is subtler.  Janet just looks dubious and goes to make herself coffee.

Brit-Chrissy and Neil sit on the settee, she next to Robin.  She and Robin make faces at each other, as she tries to signal to him to leave.  Amer-Chrissy and Neil sit down on the couch, but Jack remains standing.  (I have a theory, which I'm not going to try to prove, that Jack says more of his lines standing than Robin does, at least in the early years of the show.  I have a strong composite mental image of him delivering punch lines that way, sometimes with his arms crossed.  Robin is more likely to be slouching in the chair or on the settee, because he's more laidback.)

Robin/Jack says that Chrissy said Neil is interested in rotten old films.  She says she didn't say it like that.  Neil says it's a fair/good point though, since most of them are on nitrate stock, which doesn't last long.  Robin/Jack says two hours sounds long enough to him.

In talking about the movie, the Chrissys accidentally say Einstein.  The Neils correct them, Amer-Neil adding that Einstein did the theory of relativity.  Amer-Chrissy asks, "Was that a silent or a talkie?"  Jack is amused, so she tells him to go help Janet. 

Brit-Chrissy says you could feel the man's (Eisenstein's) presence in every frame.  This reminds Neil and he takes a wrapped gift out of his briefcase.  Now Chrissy tells Robin to go help Jo.  Robin is very winky about leaving the room.  Jack is even worse, taking Robin's simple line of leaving them to get on with it and making it into "I'll leave you two to get it on."  He slaps himself and says, "I mean to get on with it."

Brit-Chrissy looks like she's about to kiss Neil, then Robin pops back in from the kitchen to say they won't be interrupted.  Amer-Neil looks like he's going to kiss Chrissy, as he puts his arm behind her.  They even move in for a kiss, before Jack comes back to say, "Don't worry, no one will disturb you."  They try again, but he returns to say everybody in this building minds their own business.  Janet has to yank him back into the kitchen.

We get a little scene in the British kitchen.  Robin didn't know it's almost Chrissy's birthday.  Jo says that all week Chrissy has been saying, "I'm 22 on Saturday."  Well, what do you know?  Chrissy was lying to her mum!  Unless she's now lying to her flatmates.  If she's 22 on some Saturday in late August (this episode covering at least a few days), then that puts her birthday in August 1953.  She moved to London when she was 18 and turned 20 around the time we met her.  She was still 20 when she was dating the 30-year-old.

Robin says he forgot to get Chrissy a gift and there's no time.  Jo says, "And the ice glaciers are advancing half an inch every year."

Perfume:  We switch to the Ropers' bedroom, where she's wearing a frilly nightdress/gown and spraying herself with perfume.  Mildred even puts it in her mouth and cleavage!  Mrs. Roper calls out to her husband.

He comes in with his toolcase/toolbox.  When she asks why, he says something's missing from it.  She asks if he means his mucky/dirty little magazines.  He says they're art.  Helen gets the line, "Yeah, they're full of busts."  Mildred says they have titles like Wink, Nudge, and Titter.  George buys them for the articles on motoring and male fashion.  Mildred looks at him in his boring striped pyjamas.  Stanley says he buys them for the articles on male fashion and automobiles.  Helen doesn't really react.

Mildred packed them up and gave them to Oxfam (second Oxfam reference on the show).  Helen gave them to the Salvation Army.  Stanley threatens, "Helen, one of these days you're gonna make me come after you."  She says, "God knows I try."

Mr. Roper gets into bed and then wonders what the bad smell is.  She says it's her perfume.  Mildred's is "Tonight or Never," Helen's "Now or Never."  Mr. Roper says that's half right.

Mildred actually saved one of George's magazines, but he's not in the mood.  He soon falls asleep and snores, or at least fakes it.  She hits him with the magazine.  On 3'sC, all we get is Helen pulling the sheet over her head in frustration.

Presenting:  In the kitchen the next morning, Brit-Chrissy is unwrapping her birthday presents.  Jo got her a nice bracelet but a card for a 4-year-old.  Jo didn't read the verse first.  Robin, who's in his "slow dancing" shirt from the gardening episode, gives her an IOU for a card and present.

Larry comes in, wearing his Oxford shirt.  He wants to borrow a sausage (said without innuendo).  He asks, "Who's in line for the big birthday kiss from me?"  Robin queenily says, "Well, if you really insist," and puckers up.  Larry doesn't kiss anyone.

The American trio are reading the newspaper in sections, which after awhile they trade counter-clockwise.  Chrissy gets the obituaries and says it happened again, people keep dying in alphabetical order!  The doorbell rings and she goes to get it before Janet can explain.  Jack says sometimes Chrissy is right about these things, and maybe they should change their names to something beginning with Z.  Janet says he'd have to call himself Jack Zipper.  He says he wouldn't like that because people would make remarks like "Hey, fella, your name is open!"

Amer-Chrissy returns with a package from home.  She says it's not her birthday or anything.  Jack says he was beginning to feel guilty.  (But I thought Chrissy was born in December/January?  Again, lousy continuity.)

Brit-Neil's card says he didn't know what to get her, so he got her something he needs himself.  Robin asks how Neil put a kick up the backside in the box.  Chrissy says, "Oh, you've never liked him," making it sound like she's gone out with Neil awhile.

Neil got her a cinecamera.  Robin says, "As seen on television," probably a reference to a specific advert.  Amer-Chrissy's parents got her a movie camera, too.  She says she told them she's dating "a nice Methodist boy who likes films."  Jack says, "Great.  Next time tell them you're going out with a banker."

The Chrissys say they'll have lots of fun with the camera as soon as they learn how to use it.  Robin/Jack shows her that she's holding it backwards. 

Curse:  Mildred is reading Beauty Time magazine.  She lowers the cover and we see that she's wearing a white "face pack" as she calls it.  It needs to set for ten minutes.  Meanwhile, Helen is lying on the couch with a green face.

Mr. Roper comes home wearing a raincoat.  Stanley is reading Playhouse, with a buxom blonde in a lowcut blouse and what a few years later would be known as Daisy Dukes.  He has other magazines rolled up in his pockets.  He sees Helen resting on the couch, so he hides this magazine in a pocket, too. 

George says he had his morning constitutional around the block.  Stanley says there's nothing like a nice brisk walk around the block first thing in the morning.  Helen says she thought he went upstairs to fix the window in the kids' apartment.  (It's a different window this time, as we'll see.)

Mr. Roper notices the face pack and is surprised, but then he tells her he likes it and she should leave it on.  She says insults bounce right off her.  He says a brick would bounce right off that stuff.

George says Christopher Lee had something like it in Curse of the Mummy.  He went around murdering people.  Mildred says she knows how he felt.  Stanley says Lon Chaney wore something like this in The Mummy's Curse.  He does his patented take, but it doesn't get applause.  Then she says, "He's got his curse, I've got you," and that they clap for.  Christopher Lee never actually did a movie called Curse of the Mummy, but he was in The Mummy (1959) as the title role.  Lon Chaney, Jr. did star in The Mummy's Curse (1944).

Mr. Roper is going to take a shower/bath, and his wife wonders why he's wearing his raincoat.  Mildred says he's been buying more of those dirty little magazines.  He refuses to discuss it.  She yells at him and breaks her face pack.  She cries. 

Helen says he can give those dirty magazines a bath, too.  He claims he got Popular Mechanics and Reader's Digest.  She says, "Oh, go fix your window."  He leaves.

Interesting:  Upstairs, Brit-Chrissy has three lamps on as she films Robin sitting in a chair in the lounge.  She tells him, "Don't just sit there, do something interesting."  So he lifts his shirt and touches his nipples.  She says, "Not too interesting."  He lowers his shirt.

Amer-Chrissy films Jack reading Fashion magazine.  When she tells him to do something interesting, he does his perve act and comes towards her.  She tells him not that interesting.

Jo comes in from the kitchen and tries to put face powder on Robin, Jamaican Dust.  He theatrically exclaims, "With hazel eyes?  You must be mad!  Cancel my contract, I'm leaving the set!"  Janet manages to put face powder on Jack, but he balks at blue eyeshadow.  He says, "I'm walking off the set, cancel my contract."

Brit-Chrissy follows Robin through the kitchen.  Amer-Chrissy goes after Jack across the living room.  The Chrissys are still filming, so they say to do something natural.  Robin/Jack opens the bathroom door and says, "I'm about to," and she can't film it.

Brit-Chrissy has Jo pour cornflakes into a bowl, meanwhile smiling, frowning, and then laughing.  The cornflakes get all over the table, but neither girl seems to care.  Amer-Chrissy takes flowers out of a vase just so Janet will arrange them.  She makes Janet laugh, too, for quite awhile.  Then the Chrissys say tomorrow they must try this with film in the camera.

Jo says, "What?" and the British scene ends there.  But Janet chokes Amer-Chrissy and then the doorbell rings.  As she goes to get it, she says, "Next time, please date a stamp collector."

She lets in Mr. Roper.  She asks if it's raining outside and he says no.  Jack returns from the bathroom, still made-up.  He also asks if it's raining.  When Mr. Roper asks about Jack's face, he says, "Just a little eyeshadow.  Do you like it?"  He leans forward.  The audience laughs and appluads.

The broken window is in Jack's room, so he goes in and beckons to Mr. Roper with only his hand and arm visible.  Mr. Roper says he'll find it himself.  Jack reemerges and hisses at him.  The audience is delighted.  The trio are very amused.

The first picture show:  The next scene is also in the lounge/living room, but everyone's in a different outfit from before.  Brit-Neil is at a projector, while Chrissy sets up a screen, with Robin and Jo on the settee.  In America, Neil is on the couch, Chrissy is at the projector, and Jack does the screen.  Janet is absent but presumably watches the movie at some point, based on her behavior later in the episode.

Jack says he's going to the game with Larry tonight (probably basketball again).  As the doorbell rings, Jack says he's sure Chrissy's movie will deserve to be hidden away in the archives.  She takes this as a compliment.  Jack lets Larry in.  Larry says the game starts in 15 minutes, but Jack says this won't take long. 

Brit-Larry lets himself in, "ready for the big premiere."  He makes another joke about strawberry ripple, which I still don't understand.

On MatH, Larry is of course an established character by now, the sixth biggest on the show (after the trio and the Ropers).  But this is actually only the second appearance of Amer-Larry.

Brit-Neil says that he borrowed the projector from the film society.  Robin mocks Neil's posh accent in an aside to Larry.  Jack tells Amer-Larry that Neil collects old sprocket holes.

The Chrissys start the movies.  Brit-Chrissy's is in black & white and silent.  The shots are very blurry and shaky at first.  Robin holds up a movie clapboard that has Chrissy and Friends as the movie title.  He hurts his hand shutting the clapboard on it.

Then Robin, Jo, and Larry stand close together.  Chrissy wanted an action shot, so they all jump once.  Larry looks bored, Jo as if she's having a great time, and Robin somewhere in between.

Next a shirtless Robin dives, and then splashes in a kiddie pool.  Chrissy seems to have filmed at least some of this movie in a park.

Larry opens his shirt and starts to unzip his trousers.  Then we see a random housewife (in curlers) smiling and modeling for the camera.

Jo plays with a beach ball but she's lit so darkly that we can't see any details.  Thus, when Chrissy says this is the part where Jo lost the top of her bikini, and Larry and Robin lean forward on the settee, we can't see anything.  Chrissy admits, "Not a good shot really."

Chrissy put herself in, like Hitchcock she says.  She's wearing a long dress and holding a drink.  She sits in a chair with an umbrella, which after a few moments closes on her.

Amer-Chrissy's movie, in contrast, is all set in the trio's living room.  It opens with an extreme close-up of Jack's smile, at a 45-degree angle.  Jack mimes a clapboard and camera.  This is also a silent movie, but in color.

Janet comes in the front door.  For the "action" shot, she and Jack do lots of hopping, still at the odd angle.

Then we get a normal angle for Jack in the kitchen, making an omelet or souffle.  He tries to flip it but has to catch it in his hand and put it back in the pan.  Janet comes over and kisses his cheek.  He exaggerates his surprise.  Then he kisses her and backs her onto the table.

Next is a sideways shot of Jack with a glass.  Janet hands him a wine bottle.  He pours the wine into the glass.  The men and Chrissy tilt their heads as they watch.

Chrissy says in the next part Janet is going to the beach.  Janet enters from her bedroom in a pink bikini, holding a beach ball.  Chrissy says Janet loses the top of her bikini.  The men lean forward.  But we next see a close-up of Janet's face looking worried and surprised.  Then she smiles.  The camera backs up, to reveal her holding the beach ball in front of her.  We can just see her naked shoulders.  The men lean back.

The film ends and the Chrissys ask, "What did you think?"  The Brits are particularly speechless, till Neil says it was very interesting.  Robin agrees.  In America, it's Larry who agrees with Neil that it was very interesting.  Brit-Chrissy says there are another 20 minutes to go, while Amer-Chrissy says there are six more reels.  The men's body language says they're dreading it, the American men in particular.  Amer-Larry even tries to leave, but Jack stops him.  (So much for the game.)

And both shows go to a break.

Sampler:  When MatH comes back, we open on a sampler that says, "Home Sweet Home."  For some reason the audience finds this funny. 

Robin is in a bathrobe (dressing gown?), with a towel over his shoulder.  He walks through the kitchen and towards the bathroom.  He opens the door but doesn't go in.  Jack comes out of his bedroom fully dressed and goes into the bathroom. 

Robin/Jack apologizes to Jo/Janet, who's having a bath.  (We don't see anything, on MatH because she's offscreen and on 3'sC because of the shower curtain.)  Robin/Jack says they really need to get the lock fixed.  (Yeah, it's been over a year on both shows!)  Robin steps away and then goes back as he talks, while Jack just says the bit about people coming in and staring at her.  Jo/Janet tells Robin/Jack to get out and throws the sponge at him.  Jack tells Janet she needs more bubbles.

Someone knocks/rings the doorbell.  Robin/Jack answers it.  It's Larry.  Amer-Larry hasn't yet fully transitioned from his car-salesman plaid to his swinging singles threads, but he is wearing a suede jacket.

The Larrys ask if the girls are home.  Robin/Jack say the Chrissys are getting dressed and Jo/Janet's having a bath.  Robin says, "They actually float," which the audience takes suggestively, then he holds up the sponge.  Amer-Larry asks, "What are you doing with the sponge?"  Jack says he has to do everything around here.

The Larrys want to borrow the projector.  Robin/Jack says they'll have to ask the Chrissys.  The Larrys say the Chrissys might not approve of blue movies.

Last week Brit-Larry met a bloke at the pub (unspecified but probably the White Swan), while Amer-Larry met a guy at the Regal Beagle.  The bloke was named Ken, Sid, or Fred.  He works for customs.  He confiscated some blue movies, red hot stuff.  They should've been burned but his lighter wasn't working.  He's selling them for a fiver a throw. 

The guy was named Kenneth.  Amer-Larry doesn't know him well enough to be on last-name terms.  Kenneth has a friend on the vice squad.  He has some really hot films that were confiscated and should've been burned.  Kenneth is selling them for 50 bucks.  (Either the exchange rate and the inflation between 1975 and '78 were incredible, or Amer-Larry is getting ripped off even more than we think.)

Robin/Jack doesn't want to loan the Larrys any money.  Brit-Larry says he's not always on the borrow, and Amer-Larry makes a similarly unbelievable claim, although in his case it's a bit more plausible at this point because his character is less familiar, only known for giving Jack a puppy in order to cancel a debt.

The Larrys will come up with the money themselves, but they still want to borrow the projector.  The Chrissys come in and the Larrys ask when the projector has to go back.  The Chrissys aren't sure but ask why the Larrys want to know.  Meanwhile, Jo comes in wearing a towel.  She wants her sponge back.  Robin presents it to her.

The Larrys say they want another chance of seeing the Chrissys' movies.  The Larrys say they really enjoyed it.  Jack rolls his eyes.  Jo says, "Oh, may God forgive you."  She says he fell asleep.  He says that's why he wants to watch again, because he missed most of it.

The Chrissys can't show the movies right now because Brit-Chrissy is meeting Neil at noon, while Amer-Chrissy is meeting him in half an hour.  Amer-Chrissy says, "Oh, darn," so Jack imitates this when feigning disappointment.  Brit-Chrissy says to Robin, "And you said it was boring."  She adds that some people are easily bored, and she exits.

N.F.T.:  This transitions to a sign that reads, "N.F.T. presents/ An Exhibition of STILLS/ from the FILM ARCHIVES 1894-1920."  A couple, he with a beard, walk over to the sign and look very happy.

Then we see Neil and Chrissy and she looks very bored as he talks about a still from 1894.  When he mentions D.W. Griffith, she thinks "Dee" is a woman.  He says Griffith pioneered the close-up.  She says she used one in her film.  She says she knows her film wasn't very good, it was pretty terrible.  At first he's polite, and then he says it was dreadful.  She's hurt.

They go over to another still.  Then he recognises a blonde named Diana.  He and Diana met at a film conference.  He "pinched her seat," but this is said without innuendo.  They talk about the conference and clasp hands for about 15 seconds.  Chrissy now looks jealous but still bored.

There's no equivalent scene on 3'sC.  Catherine Riding plays Diana, and she has only a few, very minor credits.

Approval:  One of the tasks Mildred said George should be doing (when she was yelling at him and broke her face pack) was mending the stairs, so that's what he's doing in the next scene.  Meanwhile, Stanley is clipping the hedge outside his apartment. 

Jo comes down the stairs, and then Brit-Larry comes in the building, happy she's going out.  She's going to the laundrette.

Amer-Larry comes downstairs and asks Stanley if he's clipping the hedge.  Stanley says Larry is very observant.  Larry tries to hide the film behind his back.  Janet has a laundry bag, so Larry asks if she's going to the laundromat.  Stanley tells her that Larry is very observant. 

After Jo leaves, Brit-Larry trips over George while going up the stairs.  He drops his movie.  Janet accidentally knocks down the film with her laundry bag as she exits.  Mr. Roper picks up the film and reads the title:  Red, Hot, and Randy in England, Naked Dreams in America.  The cover isn't visible in America, but the British one shows a naked woman turned to the side, her face, arm and shoulder visible.  Her hair is sort of like in the bottom picture here:  http://gugelpicek.blogspot.com/2010/07/60s-hairstyles-60s-hair.html .

The Larrys say there's a projector upstairs.  Mr. Roper asks if the Larrys are going to show the film on it.  The Larrys say that's a good idea. Mr. Roper says that as landlord, it's his duty to see that any film shown in this house meets with his approval, and he does approve of the title.

The Larrys invite Mr. Roper up to watch the movie.  Mr. Roper says he'll go get his glasses, Stanley so eager that he doesn't even let Larry finish the invitation. 

Cleaning:  George/Stanley hunts for his glasses.  Mildred comes in with a magazine that has a cover of a woman naked except for stockings, one hand covering her crotch.  Helen enters with Playhouse.  Mrs. Roper found her husband's hiding place.  He says he doesn't hide the magazines, he leaves them in a convenient spot.  Anyway, what was she doing on top of the wardrobe?  She says she was cleaning up the dirt.  Mildred flicks her feather duster at the magazine.

Mildred says she's going to make a serious effort to understand why he reads this sort of muck.  Helen says she's going to do her best to try to understand why he reads this stuff.

Mildred opens the magazine to the centrefold and asks, "What does that do for you?"  He hesitates, then puts on his glasses.  He says the girl is upside-down.  She says the girl was photographed that way.

We mostly see the covers, but if you pause at the right moment (which of course viewers couldn't do 35 years ago), you'll see that when Mildred holds the magazine sideways, there's a tan or black woman with black pubes!  This is even more startling than the dirty-word Scrabble.

On 3'sC, the centerfold is much more discreet.  We see a girl whose very long red hair hangs down from her head and covers most of her naked body.  Stanley may say he reads about the automobiles, but he doesn't know what a Ferrari is.  Helen says there's one right next to the girl with the big-- He says, "Ah!  Nice hubcaps."

Mildred:  What has she got that I haven't got?
George:  Now don't be silly, Mildred.

Helen:  Why do you have to look at pictures like that when you've got me around?
Stanley:  All day long people have been asking me stupid questions.

Colo(u)r:  Upstairs, the Larys are trying to load the blue movies onto the projectors.  Brit-Larry says the movie is in full colour, mostly pink.  Amer-Larry says it's flesh color mostly.  Brit-Larry says the movie has sound.  Robin asks what kind.  Larry laughs as he says, "I dread to think."

Robin/Jack asks Larry what this sort of thing does for him.  Larry says Robin/Jack is just as interested as he is.  Robin denies that and will sit here denying it all through the movie.

Then the Chrissys come home.  Brit-Chrissy says boring Neil met a boring girl and had a boring conversation about boring film and she got bored.  Amer-Chrissy says she's had it with that stupid boring Neil.  He told her how awful her movie was.  "Who does he think he is, D.W. Hitchcocks?"  (Combining two of the directors mentioned on MatH.)  The guys mouth, "What?" at each other.

The Chrissys ask what the men are doing.  Robin stutters and then says Larry is going to watch Chrissy's movie.  On 3'sC, Larry does most of the stuttering.

When they see that the Larrys are having trouble with the projector, the Chrissys say they can do it, no problem.  Robin/Jack says there is one problem.

Jo/Janet returns, since the laundrette/laundromat is closed on Sundays.  The Larrys and Robin/Jack say, "Two problems," in sync.

When the Chrissys say they're going to show the home movies again, Jo/Janet wants to go out again.  Robin/Jack says that's a good idea and they can all go out, since only the Larrys want to watch.

Then Mr. Roper comes in the open door without knocking, glasses in hand.  George/Stanley is surprised that Brit-Chrissy/Janet is interested in this sort of movie. 
Jo:  Of course she is.  She's in it.
Amer-Chrissy:  Of course she's interested.  She's in it!
Stanley is particularly shocked.  The audience claps.

Brit-Chrissy says so are Jo and Robin.  "Larry gets a bit as well."  Janet says, "So are Jack and Chrissy."  Brit-Chrissy wants George's opinion, like does she zoom in too quickly?  He says, "I'll watch out for that."

Mrs. Roper comes in.  She says her husband snuck out when her back was turned, Helen adding the detail that she was checking on her casserole.  Mr. Roper says he was invited upstairs.  Brit-Chrissy/Amer-Chrissy say it was to watch her home movie.  Mrs. Roper wants to watch, Helen especially enthusiastic.

Stanley:  I'm tired.  Why don't we go to bed?
Helen:  No, Stanley, I'd rather do something we can do together.

Robin tells Brit-Larry, "Oh, death, where is thy knife?", presumably deliberately mangling the quote.  Jack goes over to Amer-Larry with a fake smile and asks where the earthquakes are when you really need them, a more Southern Californian kind of comment.

The Larrys think Robin/Jack should say/do something.  Jack says, "Me do something?  It's your movie."  He punches Amer-Larry's shoulder.  But he does try Charades.  Larry mimes cutting.  Robin suggests a game of cards, or Twenty Questions, or I Spy. 

The distractions don't work, so Robin/Jack says he did his best.  The Larrys say, "That was your best?"

The Chrissys start the movies.  Robin and Brit-Larry cover their eyes.  But in England we see The Nearsighted Mr. Magoo, while America gets Woody Woodpecker.  Robin and Larry hear Jim Backus's chuckles and lower their hands.  On MatH, everyone is puzzled for different reasons, but Amer-Chrissy says, "What a nice surprise, Larry!  They always show the cartoon before the main feature!"  (And, yes, they sometimes still did that in the late '70s.  By the rise of the VCR in the mid '80s, the practice had faded.)

Brit-Larry:  That cost me a bloody fiver!
Amer-Larry:  Fifty bucks for Woody Woodpecker?

Brit-Larry says he'll murder that Ken.  Robin says, "Or Fred or Sid or whatever his name was."  Then he playfully slaps Larry and the episode ends. 

Jack is very amused and he says, "Thank God for Kenneth Whatshisname!  He really gave you the bird!"  Then he does the "Woody" laugh.  Helen laughs a lot.  Janet mostly seems amused by her.

Artist:  For the 3'sC tag, Amer-Chrissy is wearing an artist's smock and making a charcoal picture as Stanley poses with a plunger.  He's apparently been doing this for two hours.

Jack and Janet come home with groceries.  Janet tells Jack that Chrissy's new boyfriend is a painter.  (Janet always seems to know more about Chrissy's boyfriends than Jack does, which makes sense considering she's Chrissy's best friend, and Jack usually dislikes Chrissy's beaus.)  They go over and look at the picture.  They think it's pretty good and Mr. Roper won't believe the likeness.  Then there's a shot of Chrissy signing her name to a picture of the plunger.  All in all, one of the stronger tags, although I can see why it got cut in syndication like most of them.

Commentary:  From MatH's new credits onward, this pair of episodes is about teasing the audience.  That we actually do get to see some porn on MatH is deliciously ironic, although my guess is that they figured it was easier to buy an actual skin mag than to invent something like Playhouse.  (Or they wanted to see what they could get away with, like the dirty Scrabble.)  Like I said, without a pause button, '70s audiences would only get a glimpse.  And the British censors are obviously a lot less strict than the American ones.

The part with Jo's bikini top being fished away will remain through the season, as I know from watching MatH31, but it does foreshadow what happens to her during Chrissy's movie.  This pair of episodes is unusual for having Robin and Jack chase after the J-girls more than the Chrissys.  Not only do they hope to see Jo and Janet without their bikini tops, but there are the opening scenes with them using boredom as an excuse for seduction, as well as Jack backing Janet up onto the kitchen table during Chrissy's home movie.  (Actually, Robin gets fresher with himself than he does with anyone else.)  Instead of feeling competitive with the Neils, like they did with Ian/Lloyd and David/Michael, they seem to have given up on the Chrissys for the moment.  (Not that RCST is dead by any means, just hibernating.)

Brit-Neil seems like a pretentious jerk throughout, but Amer-Neil doesn't seem too bad, until he offscreen is harsh about Chrissy's movie.  Amer-Chrissy's parents are happy to hear she's dating a Methodist (her religion being more integral to 3'sC than the passing reference on MatH), but it doesn't take her roomies long to start talking about who she should date "next time."  And indeed she's already hooked up with some nameless artist by the end of the episode.

As with the line about only a man would get a girl pregnant, some of the lines that Brit-Chrissy says that sound like simple mistakes become fodder for the dumb-blonding of Amer-Chrissy, like the expansion of the Einstein slip. 

It's interesting that instead of the scene at the exhibition, we get the sub-subplot of Stanley fixing Jack's window and being frightened by Jack hitting on him.  Stanley doesn't make any homophobic remarks this episode, but there's a sense of payback for the times he has.

These episodes seem to have more than their share of comedic references to violence.  Among them:
1.  Janet yanking Jack by his hair
2.  Stanley threatening to "come after" Helen (although she takes it sexually of course)
3.  Mildred hitting George with a magazine
4.  Mildred relating to the murderous mummy
5.  Janet choking Chrissy
6.  Jack punching Larry's shoulder
7.  Brit-Larry saying he'll murder "Ken"
8.  Robin slapping Larry
Also, the relationship between the Amer-Ropers is much more antagonistic than that between the Brit-Ropers on these episodes.

It feels like Helen gives up on Stanley more this episode than Mildred does with George.  Mildred yells at George, while Helen says, "Oh, go fix your window."  Helen pulls the sheet over her head rather than continue trying to seduce Stanley.  And she would rather watch a home movie than go to bed with him because the former is something they can do together.

It's slightly surprising that Mildred saves one of George's magazines, and seems to want to use it as a tool of arousal, but neither Mr. Roper wants to share pornography with his wife.  (George probably had to find a new place to stash his magazines when Larry moved into the attic.)  I don't know the laws on exhibiting adult movies in private residences, not for profit, in the 1970s, U.K. or U.S., but it's a safe bet that landlords had no such duty to approve them.