When the American producers (Nicholl, Ross, and West) wanted to adapt MatH22, they apparently decided to keep half of one of the two main plots and toss the rest. Then they borrowed most of the plot from Math31. Thus we get the odd blend that is 3'sC28. "One for the Road" aired 13 March 1975, with "How Does Your Garden Grow" over six months later, on 2 October. "Days of Beer and Weeds" was broadcast on Feb. 21, 1978, placing #3 in the ratings. "One for the Road" may be another old song reference, as in "One More for My Baby (and One More for the Road)." The other MatH title (without a question mark for some reason) is a nursery rhyme reference, as in "Mary Mary Quite Contrary." And the 3'sC title suggests the 1962 Blake Edwards movie Days of Wine and Roses. My title is the only pun that I could come up with to cover all this.
Pageants: As 3's C opens, the TV is playing a beauty pageant. Janet asks why they're watching, and Chrissy says Jack has the remote control. He says they should look at the pageant as a self-improvement course.
I don't want to go into much detail about changes between fourth and fifth series MatH (such as opening and closing credits), but I do have to note that when Larry lets himself in, his hair looks blonder, and it suits him. This is a few minutes into the episode, but I can't talk about the earlier scenes yet. Bear with me while I sort this out.
Brit-Larry expected Robin to be watching the Miss Common Market Contest. He asks, "Have you gone queer or something?" He takes the remote, which in their case has a cord. The American remote looks clunky, but still, the technology has advanced a bit in those three years, or maybe the American trio just have more modern technology. (Remember, Robin was excited about colour TV not too long ago.)
I need to omit something I'll get back to. Then Larry says, "Wait till you see Miss Rome, knockers on her like a pair of" some word I don't catch. Jo says this is typical. Chrissy says the men think of women solely as sex objects. Larry denies it and then says, "Oh, look at the brains on that!" We briefly cut away for a scene with the Ropers that I'll tell you about in a bit.
Back in the U.S., Janet asks if Jack thinks of women purely as sex objects. He says of course not. He likes intelligence, too. Then he says of Miss Soybean, "Just look at the brains on that one." Janet looks down inside her robe at her own chest, then says, "I don't see where they got a sash big enough to fit her."
When we go back to the flat, Robin, who was rolling his eyes at Larry before, is now watching as closely as his mate is. Chrissy says she's surprised they found a sash to fit Miss Rome.
The French contestant is Miss Calais. Robin says he's been there. Larry is skeptical, but Robin means the town, not the girl.
Robin: Look at the legs on that.
Jo: I didn't know they were in the Common Market.
Robin: Yes, both of them.
Both Chrissys think the pageants are degrading and they'd like to see men prancing up and down like that. Jack/Robin says, "Anything to oblige."
Robin and Larry get to their feet. Robin, using a banana as a mic, says, "Welcome to the Finals of the Male Chauvinist Pig Contest, 1975." Larry, as Mr. South Kent, walks sultrily. He unbuttons his shirt. Robin says Larry looks simply ravishing in his filthy old jeans. "Let's hope Filthy Old Jean knows he's got them on."
Since Amer-Larry isn't visiting yet, Jack has to be both host and contestant. He grabs two oranges and turns his back to us. He says, "Ladies and Ladies, welcome to the first annual Male Chauvinist Pig Contest of 1978." He turns to show us how he's put the oranges down his shirt to make perky little breasts. "And here we have the very lovely and talented Mr. Pico Boulevard." He starts to strut. "Looking absolutely stunning in his pair of filthy jeans. And we'd like to thank Filthy Jean's for lending them to him." (It's possible it's Gene, but the joke works either way.)
First is deportment. Janet says, "He ought to be deported." Then Jack does a silly walk. Larry does an Igor walk, and then Chrissy says the "deported" line.
That's all we get of the categories on 3'sC, but Robin continues with the category of sex appeal, so Larry exposes a shoulder. Robin says Mr. South Kent wants to be a chorus boy.
The American doorbell rings and Jack answers since, "Honey, I'm up." It's Mr. Roper, who says, "Going on a date?" Jack slouches so that the oranges fall.
George comes in without knocking. He asks, "It's not a bad moment, is it?" Chrissy says, "No, it's about time you found out about Larry anyway."
How Does Your Garden Grow?: MatH31 opens with the question-less title shown over the plant-filled balcony we first saw on MatH21. Then we go to the kitchen, where Robin is washing up as the girls read, Chrissy a magazine and Jo a letter.
Jo is wearing a peasant dress with stripes and flowers. She says her Uncle Arthur died. He was the liveliest one in the family. Robin says death is nature's way of telling you to slow down. (I think this line might've ended up somewhere on 3'sC. I've heard it before anyway.)
Jo's mum writes that his last wish was to buried on top of Aunt Agnes, his wife. Chrissy thinks this is sweet, till Jo tells her that Agnes isn't dead yet.
Jo is going to go to the funeral. Her uncle was 83. Chrissy says he probably saw the first episode of Crossroads. (Actually, the soap had started airing in 1964, not all that long before this episode, at least compared to some American soaps.) But Jo says he never watched television, not after he lost his false teeth. Her flatmates are afraid to ask.
Jo asks if Chrissy has anything black she can borrow. Chrissy says just a see-through nightie, and that might put the vicar "off his stroke." (I can't find a definition online, so I'm just going to assume it means something like "throw him off," and has none of the sexual connotations that the word "stroke" might suggest.)
Robin has gone to answer the door, and he brings in Mrs. Roper. She wants to borrow a cup of fertiliser. She tells them about the upcoming exhibit for her flower arranging class. She says arranging flowers is a bit like cribbage. Chrissy gives her Lawn Green.
Jo: Wasn't he on Bonanza?
Robin: No, you're thinking of Fizens' (sp?) Ever Grow. He used to play the rancher.
Mrs. Roper laughs.
After she leaves, Robin has to ask why Uncle Arthur stopped watching television. Jo says no one could understand what he was talking about (because of the lost teeth). The post office kept giving him a dog licence (as opposed to a television licence). Robin tells Chrissy, "You know, sometimes I think she's having us on." The camera cuts to Jo looking amused and mischievous.
Then there's a scene at the Ropers' that I have to omit for the moment.
Effective: After George31/Stanley walks in on the pageantry, he says that the kids can use his garden. Brit-Chrissy/Janet calls it a jungle, usable for safaris. Stanley says Helen has been nagging him about it. She's gone nuts since she started taking a flower arranging course, and she wants home-grown flowers.
When George/Stanley expects the kids to take care of the garden, they understandably balk at this. He lists various reasons, including exercise. Then George points out that they're a month behind on the rent. (Again?) Stanley asks, "Who can't afford a raise in the rent?
Brit-Chrissy/Jack: Mr. Roper, there's a word for the sort of threat you just made....Effective.
Jo thinks tomorrow's a good day to start, since she's going to the funeral. But Janet says, "Goodbye, weekend," when she hears they'll be doing it tomorrow.
George says there's a lawnmower out there somewhere. Well, there was in 1947. If they find it, "tell the bloke next door. I borrowed it off of him."
After George leaves, Brit-Larry says that the garden is one of the few places they haven't looked for Martin Bormann. ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Bormann ) Continuing the WW II theme, Brit-Larry/Jack says, "There are pockets of Japanese who don't know the war is over."
Robin says it's not that bad and it won't take that long.
Strange brew: MatH22 opens in the Ropers' kitchen. Mildred is in a purple pantsuit with a blue beaded necklace. George is brewing beer.
The second scene of 3'sC28 has Stanley brewing home-made beer in the living room, as Helen works on a flower arrangement. She says he ought to be out in the garden helping the kids instead. He hopes to sell his beer to the Regal Beagle. She says, "And poison Santa Monica?"
George/Stanley says that everything has been sterilised. Mildred asks, "When were you done?" He means the equipment. Helen says, "So that's your problem." The audience applauds.
George has been using ordinary household items for his equipment, like a bucket. He says of one item, "They're the best thing for when you're straining, nappy liners. There's a joke there somewhere."
George/Stanley says that the batch from two weeks ago is ready. She thinks this is why the bottles keep exploding.
George says they put a penny on the pint at the British Legion, which I think means what they're charging extra.
On the Road: In the second scene of MatH22, we're introduced to the plotline that the American writer-producers decided to ditch entirely. Robin is asking Chrissy questions out of The Highway Code. She does well, so he puts on an American game show host voice and asks, "Now do you want to double your money? And I mean that most sincerely." Chrissy is amused.
When asked where you can't park, she gives serious answers at first, then, "Outside at Tesco's. On top of another car. Inside a bus." He says, "Bus?" She says, "Lane," meaning bus lane.
Jo asks where you can park. He says you can't park anywhere. Chrissy will have to drive round in circles till she disappears up her own exhaust pipe. It's a new scheme to cut down on traffic.
Chrissy says she'll never learn all this in ten days. Jo and Robin make fun of her. She says to Jo, "At least at the end of it, I'll be able to drive a car. All you can drive is other people. Up the wall." She angrily exits to the lounge.
Robin says Jo shouldn't take the mickey out of Chrissy, "you can't have both of us doing it."
He goes in the lounge and says that he'll have Chrissy practise her throttling. She says, "Oh, don't tempt me."
He's brought in some tins, which he sets on the floor in front of the coffee table. He explains the system: Beans = clutch. Tuna fish = brake. Chunky chicken = throttle.
He says driving is like anything else. If you don't practise, you'll forget how.
Chrissy: Why do you always have to bring sex into everythig?
Robin: Sex? Sex? What's that, sex?
Chrissy: Oh, I see what you mean.
They sit on the coffee table. Jo brings in a dust pan with a scrub brush, for the gearstick.
At about the five-minute, 40-second point of the episode, Paula Wilcox almost breaks character. She's supposed to be annoyed with Robin's directions, but she looks like she's about to laugh.
As the "examiner," Robin says, "Give us a kiss and I'll pass you," but she doesn't take him up on it. As Robin narrates their journey, Jo says he lives in a little world of his own. He tells Chrissy, "Ignore that lady at the bus stop."
Robin says Chrissy forgot the hand signal.
Chrissy: I'll give you a hand signal in a minute.
Robin: Naughty!
Effeminate: The second scene of 3'sC28 continues, with Helen calling Stanley's brewing silly nonsense. He says it's better than her stupid flower-arranging course. She says it's not stupid, it's artistic. He says it's effeminate.
The second scene of MatH31 is set in the Ropers' kitchen. He pours tea as she works on a flower arrangement. He says that this flower nonsense is a bit effeminate.
Mildred says, "Well, I'm supposed to be effeminate. Just as you're supposed to be, er, emasculate." There's no indication she realises this is an insult. But after Helen says, "Well, I'm supposed to be effeminate. Just like you're emasculate," she throws her head back and cackles.
Mildred wants something green for her arrangement. George suggests the welly (wellington boot) he referred to earlier as being lost in the garden. When Helen wants something "tall and green and prickly," Stanley says, "How about your mother?" and does his patented grin at the camera.
The American scene ends there, but George criticises the flower-arranging class some more. He asks why she doesn't learn something useful, like brick-laying or welding. She says she's trying to meet a better class of people. He says it's news agents and greengrocers, the middle-class, walking around with their poodles and blue rinses, "and the women are just as bad."
Referring to an annoying habit he's indulging in right then, she says at least they don't drink tea out of the saucer. He asks if she wants him to stick his finger out while he's doing it. He calls her a snob and says last year she was taking elocution lessons.
He thinks she's also taking this class to aggravate his hay fever. She waves flowers under his nose. He doesn't like the money she's spending on the flowers. She says she wouldn't have to buy flowers if he cleared out that jungle of theirs.
This is where we came in: The third scene of MatH31 has Jo packing as Robin reads the newspaper on the settee. Chrissy says Jo's train doesn't leave till tomorrow, but Jo says, "Enough time isn't enough time for me. I need more than enough." Robin offers her the black armband he got for Southampton.
Then we get Larry coming in. But the part I had to omit is that after Larry questions Robin's sexuality, Robin tells him that Jo's uncle just died. Chrissy says he might show a bit of sympathy.
So Larry sets down the remote and stands up. He slowly and gently tells Jo, "It's at times like this that one's heart goes out to those that are left behind, as well as those that have gone before to a better world." Then he sits back down and says the line about Miss Rome's knockers.
The Ropers' scene I had to omit after "the brains on that" has Mildred saying that it's years since George worked on the garden, three years to be exact. If he fixed it up, they could invite people in. He mocks her, saying things like, "Have another cucumber sandwich, Lady Muck." She says they could invite George's friends, since there are plenty of trees for them to swing from. She waves a plant at him and giggles when he sneezes.
Then we go back upstairs and get the Male Chauvinist Pig Contest and Mr. Roper's effective threat and all.
Silver bells and cockle shells: After Robin says that the garden isn't that bad, we cut to an outdoor shot of Robin and Chrissy looking at the jungly garden. He's wearing a T-shirt with Snoopy dancing with Lucy, which says, "Close dancing is coming back." He says they need a machete, which is Spanish for "atom bomb." Music plays as they garden.
On 3'sC, it's an obviously fake set, with huge weeds. The girls are getting "bitten to death by bugs." Jack springs up when they think they've lost him. He dropped the insect repellent and found it under a pile of bugs, "they love this stuff." Janet slaps his face to get a mosquito. He cries, "Look, a caterpillar!" and playfully shakes her by the shoulders.
Amer-Chrissy worries about rats, but Jack says they all got eaten by the snakes. Chrissy panics and "kills" a garden hose with the hedge clippers. Jack clowns with the hose. Brit-Chrissy is calmer, just asking if there are snakes in the garden, and when Robin says no, telling him "then I've chopped the garden hose in half."
There's more slapstick on 3'sC, as Jack steps on a rake and hits himself in the face, dropping to the ground. On MatH, we see an ever-growing pile of junk, like old tires. And Robin breaks off the handle of the old lawnmower. (Poor neighbour, after loaning it for 28 years.)
Robin asks, "Chrissy, I haven't just stuck this garden fork through your foot, have I?" When she says no, he collapses in pain. Jack asks, "Chrissy, did I just stick this fork through your foot?" When she says no, he pulls it out of his own foot. He puts his fist to his mouth and the girls tend to him.
Hops: In the third scene of MatH22, we see George still brewing. Stanley is doing the same in the fourth scene of 3'sC28. Mildred/Helen reminds her husband to put in the eye of newt and tongue of bat. Stanley replies, "Can you spare them?"
Mildred thinks this is like when he repaneled the bath. It reminds Helen of when he painted the bathtub last month. Mrs. Roper says he should've warned her before she got in. Mr. Roper is amused by the memory. Mildred says she was stuck to the bottom.
Stanley: You should've seen your face when you stuck to the bottom.
Helen: It wasn't my face I was worried about.
Mrs. Roper wants to see how the beer turned out. As Helen puts it, "Let's have a look at what's gonna put Budweiser out of business." Mr. Roper pours a glass with a big head, noticeably larger on the British show. In fact, George's brew overflows the glass.
Mrs. Roper refuses to drink any, Helen using the youthful slang of "no way." Mrs. Roper says it has things swimming around in it. Mr. Roper says they're hops.
Mildred: All right, they're hopping around in it.
Helen: OK, so it has little things hopping around in it.
Mildred thinks George could drink the beer and be all claws and fangs. She asks where the insurance books are. Then she says hairs are growing on the back of his hand.
When Stanley drinks, he spits out the seeds. Helen asks where he keeps his insurance policy.
George/Stanley says it tastes sort of nutty. Mildred/Helen says, "Look who made it."
Lazy devil: On Math31, George watches from his kitchen window as Robin and Chrissy garden. He calls Robin a lazy devil, dancing about on one leg when he should be working.
Mildred is working on her flower arrangement. She wants George to take a bath. He says the exhibit isn't till 2. She says time has no meaning for him, once he gets in there and starts playing with his loofa. He says he's not going, but she says that the entire course has been leading up to this exhibition.
Robin and Chrissy let themselves in. Chrissy says there's just "a little weed" to be got rid of. Mildred says, "Yes, George, go and have your bath."
Janet taps on the open door. She looks exhausted. Chrissy and Jack follow, he leaning on her and limping. They're done for today and they'll finish up tomorrow.
Have a glass: Helen says Stanley should give the kids something for all the work they did. The three of them look at him hopefully. He offers the beer. The girls pass, but Jack takes a glass.
Returning to MatH22, after the "nutty" exchange, Robin knocks and lets himself into the kitchen. He wants to borrow their car again, for an hour. George says all right and hands him a glass.
Mildred says, "He made it himself, Love." When Helen tells Jack, his mouth is full. George says he strained the beer through Mildred's tights. She says they were new ones. Stanley says he strained the beer through a pair of Helen's stockings. She complains, "My best pair."
Jack drinks some more and spits out seeds. He says the beer is a little strong but not bad. Stanley gives him two bottles.
Robin says the beer isn't bad at all. Then there's a dissolve.
George is now telling a war story. After an air raid, he saw "Winnie." Robin asks if this is the girl George met in the land army. George means Churchill, who said, "The drain's have gone then?" Shortly after that, they started the second front. Robin wonders if the two were connected, but George wouldn't say that.
Mildred brings in Chrissy. George gives Robin the car keys. He offers Chrissy a glass, but she doesn't want it when she's driving. He gives her the little tip to put a quid in your driving licence. (As we'll see later, this comes in a little booklet, sort of like a passport, rather than just the card we'd have in America.)
After Robin and Chrissy leave, bickering, George says, "Nice lad that, goes on a bit."
He says the beer is strong stuff. He puts his arm around Mildred's waist and pulls her close. "Do you fancy an early night tonight then, Mildred?" She's surprised and delighted.
Accident: In the car, Chrissy forgets the clutch, then remembers it's beans. When she says mistakes can happen, Robin says, "I know, but you don't have to give it so much help."
He has her do a reverse turn around the corner. She drives on the sidewalk. There's a man carrying a bicycle. He drops the bike and she backs over it.
Two policeman are watching and calmly drinking from a thermos. One is named Arthur. (Yes, the writers were very fond of that name.) Although there are two of them, I think only one is credited, the one with sideboards, listed as "Policeman" and played by Ken Watson, who usually went by Kenneth. From 1956 to '94, he played a lot of policemen and the like, including, as we'll see in Part Two, on "How Does Your Garden Grow." He had an earlier appearance on MatH, with "It's Only Money," but he was the bank manager rather than one of the policemen.
The victim says he just put a new bulb on his bike. Chrissy says it wasn't all their fault, he didn't signal. He says you don't have to signal when you're coming out of your own garden gate. Robin agrees with him. The man is played by Harry Littlewood, then about 54, with credits ranging from 1959 to '91, including four characters on George & Mildred and two on Robin's Nest.
Chrissy is going to move the car forward but Robin does it to prevent further damage. Then the policeman asks to see his licence. The bicycle frame is broken in two, but Chrissy points out that the bulb still works.
"There's a pound note in here, Sir." Robin says he doesn't have a wallet and it's lucky the policeman is honest.
The man tries to say that Chrissy is the one who hit the bike, but the cop is more concerned that Robin might've been drinking. He says Robin will have to take a breath test. And MatH22 breaks for adverts.
Another unwise gift: Back in the gardening plots, Brit-Chrissy wants to take some plants upstairs. George wants to charge her a quid for the lot, but Mildred won't allow that. Neither Mildred nor Chrissy knows what one plant is called. Chrissy offers it to Mildred, who says it's exactly what she needs for her flower arrangement.
Helen admires Amer-Chrissy's wildflower bouquet. She says it's exactly what she needs for her arrangement. Chrissy gives her some of it. Helen says there's going to be an arts & crafts exhibit at the school.
George comes back in because he can't find his rubber duck. Mildred says it's with his shower cap.
The Amer-trio are about to leave, the girls wishing Mrs. Roper good luck and Jack telling Mr. Roper, "Hey, thanks for the suds." Then Mr. Roper burps. His wife looks exasperated. The trio hesitate by the door.
Market: Upstairs, Robin says another sixteenth of an inch and he'd have lost his favourite toe, the little piggy that went to the market. It didn't stay home or have roast beef or anything. "It boldly went where no pig went before. To market!"
Jack, who's spraying on some kind of disinfectant, says that another millimeter to the left and he would've lost his toe. Chrissy says it's only bruised. (It's funny that Jack goes metric when Robin doesn't. But back in '78 there was a big push for the metric system in the U.S. I still fondly remember seeing a play around that time, called Take Me to Your Liter, I Want to Meter.)
Janet, who's wearing bellbottom jeans, reties her denim shirt. She's going over to her friend Marilyn's, because she promised to help her move this afternoon. (Poor Janet, not much of a relaxing weekend.) Jack asks her to pick him up a packet of assorted toes.
After Janet leaves, Chrissy says Jack is making too big a fuss. He says this is his favorite toe, the little piggy who went to market, but he doesn't make a comedy routine out of it.
Brit-Larry knocks and lets himself in. Amer-Larry knocks on the door that Janet left open. Jack observes, "You're up early. It's only noon."
Brit-Larry wants to return a packet of fags, the ones he's going to borrow. He can't return them if Robin won't lend them, but Robin won't cooperate. Since hardly anyone smokes on the American show, this Larry is worried about the five bucks he owes Jack. When Jack says Larry doesn't owe him anything, Larry says he will when Jack lends it to him. At first Jack says no way, but then he gives in because he has no resistance when his toe is dying. Larry says, "Make it ten bucks, I'll send a wreath."
Brit-Chrissy asks where Larry was while they were slaving away. He says he was there in spirit, but he's got a lazy body.
Brit-Larry looks at the very tall plant Chrissy brought up from the garden. He says it's pot, hash, cannabis, marijuana. Robin and Chrissy look at each other and then at Larry. MatH31 goes to its advert break.
Amer-Larry looks at Chrissy's bouquet and asks where she got it. She says Roper's garden, but she doesn't know what the plants are.
Amer-Larry: They're called cannabis.
Amer-Chrissy: Really? Oh, that's pretty.
He explains that it's marijuana, pot. They're shocked. And 3'sC28 goes to commercial.
To be continued....
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Friday, May 13, 2011
"Home & Away"
I thought that the title of this episode, which aired on 6 March 1975, was a reference to the Aussie soap, but that apparently didn't start till '87. It could be a reference to a 1956 British drama about an ordinary working-class man who wins the football pools. Robin is not that lucky.
Credits: The opening credits are mostly new. We again get a close-up of Big Ben and then a cut to Robin driving an old-fashioned car. But this time when they pull up to the zoo, we see a meter maid. She shakes her head because Robin has squeezed the car into a space that a very small car is using.
The trio stroll around the zoo, and we see the elephant and monkey again, but without any comparisons to the trio yet. There's also a bear.
This time when the trio go to the zoo cafe, Robin eats a burger, and we cut to a tiger eating raw meat. Chrissy eating a sandwich becomes a giraffe. And when Jo tosses a grape into her mouth, the shot switches to a seal catching a fish.
Two tickets: In the first scene, the girls are reading in the kitchen, Jo the newspaper and Chrissy a book called Indoor Plants. Robin is offscreen, singing a song I don't recognise. Chrissy is annoyed, so Jo suggests she stuff cotton wool in her ears. Chrissy says she'd rather stuff Robin's mouth with cotton wool.
Chrissy says Robin has just run through the Top 20 of 1930. (This confirms my theory that the show likes to make references to older music more than current.) Jo says, "Imagine what the Bottom 20 must be like." When Chrissy says Robin is driving her crazy, Jo correctly predicts that Robin will turn this into a song. (I remember a similar joke on 3'sC, but I can't place it at the moment.)
When Chrissy goes to an area off to the side of the kitchen (upstage right), Jo tells Robin that Chrissy doesn't like the sound of his voice. He says, "How do you think I feel? I was stuck in there with it."
He's very cheerful, and the audience starts laughing as he talks. When he says that all the women will be at his feet today, saying, "Take me, take me!", Jo says, "You'll be ready for them." It turns out he has his zipper down.
Jo has made toast, and even that makes Robin happy. He's got two tickets for the Southampton match. They're playing Arsenal, whom Chrissy likes.
Jo says it's a really silly game. Robin says to "just imagine being chased by eleven butch men...All trying to dispossess you and then scoring." Giggling, Jo says, "They'd have to catch me first.
Cobblers: Out on the never-before-seen balcony, Chrissy is talking to the plants, which explains her reading choice in the kitchen. It gives her something in common with Janet, although she's a secretary rather than a florist. When Robin goes out there and takes the mickey out of her, she says that science has proven that plants respond to the sound of the human voice. So he takes a plant out of its pot and speaks into it with a radio voice, as if it's a mic.
The ivy plant isn't doing as well. Robin says that the cat next door has been performing the rather unfeline act of cocking its leg on it.
He invites Chrissy to the match. She doesn't like the way he swears when the other side scores. He says that science has proven that Southampton players respond to the sound of the human voice. He also says something about kicking them in the cobblers and running for it. Since "cobblers" comes from Cockney rhyming slang for "balls" (from "cobbler's awl"), she says this is what she means about his swearing.
She agrees to go to the match since Arsenal are playing. When she asks why he's inviting her, he says he was thinking they could stay the night. She says they'll catch the return train. Or better yet, they can borrow Roper's car.
Wig: Downstairs at the Ropers', they talk about televison. They have a black & white set. Mildred's sister has had a colour set for six years. It has a 26" screen. Her sister can change channels without moving from her armchair. Goerge says so can he, by getting Mildred to do it. (Television remotes actually date back to 1950, but they were still very primitive in the mid '70s.)
The postman comes at 10. While George is getting the post, Mildred tells the budgie that George still owes the postman and several others their Christmas boxes. She calls George a "mingy little toad," which is possibly worse than Robin calling him "a mingy little ferret."
George has ordered a hairpiece. She wants him to try it on. He makes her promise not to laugh, but she can't help it.
Scrounger: Larry drops by the trio's flat, calling himself their friendly neighbourhood scrounger. He goes in before Jo greets him. Robin says he's always on the borrow. Larry says he gave them something last week. Chrissy says it was the flu.
He asks Robin if he's decided on the hotel. Chrissy tells him that they're not staying overnight. "If he gave you that impression...." Larry says, "Nah, nah, no, nothing like that. Should be a good match, he said, changing the subject quickly."
12 pound 50: While George is out of the room, putting on the wig, Mildred reads the information that came with it. She says he can swim in it. "That'll be interesting. You couldn't swim before." (As we learned on the previous epiosde.)
George enters in a wavy wig roughly the colour of his own red hair. Mildred stares. The audience is delighted. He says it cost 12 pound 50, including tax. She thinks he tacked it on, but he means VAT (Value Added Tax).
She finds the wig very weird. She says, "You've got more now than when I first met you." (And that would've been at least 30 years ago, since they met during the war.) He says this is "the real me, younger." She says he's got a little old face peeking out from a young head. He thinks being bald has held him back.
Someone knocks. He hides behind the newspaper as she lets in Chrissy, who asks to borrow the car. Mildred says OK and asks George what he thinks, taking away his paper. Chrissy tries not to react to the wig.
He says Southampton is a long way to drive. She says it's a good match. He touches his head, thinking she means the wig. Probably to get rid of her, he agrees to loan the car. She says they should be back tonight, and she leaves. He tells Mildred that he doesn't think Chrissy even noticed.
Short and curly: When Chrissy returns to the flat, Robin tells her that Larry has gone upstairs to get his Arsenal scarf. "You'll need it to hang yourself when we thrash the living daylights out of you."
She tells him and Jo about the wig. They're very amused. Robin says perhaps it's a transplant. Chrissy asks, "Where from? He didn't have a lot to begin with." Robin says it could be lots of places, and asks if it was short and curly. Chrissy doesn't seem to understand.
Jo says maybe Mr. Roper has let his sideboards (sideburns) grow and knotted them all together on top.
Mr. Roper knocks and lets himself in. He hands over the carkeys. Robin and Jo try not to stare at his wig. Mr. Roper asks if they've noticed anything different about him. They all protest no, then Chrissy asks if he's got a new cardigan.
Larry comes in and stares, exclaiming, "Gorblimey!" Then he pretends he's talking about the wallpaper.
Robin and Chrissy excuse themselves since they don't want to be late for the match. Mr. Roper says it wasn't easy to put on properly. He had to use strip paste and fill the cracks in with poly filler. Larry says, "Oh, the wallpaper, yeah."
Jo, as direct as ever, says, "Mr. Roper, I must ask you, is that a toupee?" When he admits it, she says, "Oh, I'd never have known." He's flattered and then confused.
Young: Downstairs later, George is reluctant to go to the pub because he feels shy about his wig. And he doesn't understand why Mildred wanted the kids to borrow the car. She says that they're young and they want to get out and enjoy themselves.
So we switch to an exterior of Chrissy steering the car as Robin pushes it. Then we cut between them and eight bikers, till the bikers catch up with them, driving on either side and yelling incoherent but probably rude things. After they drive on, Robin flips them off British style. And we cut to an advert.
AA: When we return, Robin is looking under the bonnet (hood) of the car. Chrissy is eating something from a sack, probably a snack they brought to eat at the match. She says the problem could be the fanbelt, since she at least knows where that is.
He says that if the car were a horse, he'd shoot it. She pours him something out of the thermos. She says they might be stuck here all night. He smiles.
They're right by a phone box, so she wants him to call the AA, not Alcoholics Anonymous but the British equivalent of Triple A. He says he's not a member. She says he could offer to join. He says it costs five quid, and the car isn't worth that.
He wants to hitch to Southampton. She worries people will pinch (steal) parts of the abandoned car. She suggests they phone Roper. Robin would rather find a small hotel and stay the night. She says, "You never give up, do you?" So he'll call Roper, but he'll be at the pub this time of day.
Hair: In the pub, Larry is talking about the Southampton team. He says that the back four expose themselves, leave themselves wide open, vulnerable to sudden attack. Jo takes this suggestively and says, "They would be."
The nameless barman is played by John Carlin, formerly Larry's prissy landlord. He's almost unrecognisable in this costume and with different mannerisms. He'll go on to five more episodes in that role, mostly in this fourth series. Here, he asks something about who on the Arsenal forward side can take advantage. Jo tells Larry, "Don't answer that because it's libelous."
We switch over to a table where the Ropers are sitting. He's wearing a tam o'shanter over his wig. Mildred takes off the hat. She wants a gin and tonic, so he goes over to the bar and orders a small one. She changes it to large.
Jo, in whispers, compliments Mr. Roper's wig. He feels self-conscious and wants her to change the subject. So she asks the Ropers if they're going to the Litle Theatre next week. Mrs. Roper asks what's on. Jo says, "Oh, it's that," and points to the poster for the Kensington Players' production of Hair. She covers her laughter with her hand, and Larry and Mildred try not to laugh.
Wigan: The barman answers the phone, and we get reconfirmation that this is the White Swan. (I don't know why they stopped going to the Mucky Duck.) We cut back and forth between the pub and the stranded couple. Robin asks to speak to George Roper, describing him as a little ratty fellow, of 4'3". Chrissy adds that Mr. Roper is wearing a wig. The barman calls for a George Wigan.
Robin repeats Mr. Roper's name and describes the wig as a "ridiculous curly ginger thing. Oh, hello, Mr. Roper." He tells Mr. Roper that the car made a terrible noise. Chrissy imitates it and Robin imitates her. They decide to let him listen to the noise himself. In the funniest line of the episode, George tells Mildred, "They've got the car in the phone box with 'em."
Robin starts the car and Chrissy holds out the phone. After listening, Mr. Roper says it's difficult to say. The operator asks for 2p, which Robin and Chrissy don't have. George tells them it's probably the carburetor and they'll have to strip it down, but they've already been disconnected.
As George is turning, a man named Mike spills four beers on his head. Mike is played by Michael Redfern, the bigger removal man on the previous episode, as well as Tom from "Match of the Day." He'd go on to play a policeman on both Robin's Nest and George & Mildred, as well as The Young Ones and several other programmes. Here, he and George yell at each other, ending with him saying, "Keep your hair on!"
Scarves: It's now gotten dark and Chrissy is complaining. She says they could be there all night. He says, "Not both of us, 'cause I'm gonna strangle you."
When he wants her to start the car, she thinks it won't work.
Robin: You've got no faith in me, have you?
Chrissy: How can I put it? No.
When it doesn't work, she says he's not a mechanic, he's a cookery student, and he could probably casserole the carburetor beautifully.
The bikers return. They hope that the bikers didn't see Robin give them the V sign. He tells her to keep her sense of humour, and if that fails?
Chrissy: Kick them in the--
Robin: Yes.
Robin sees the bikers' Arsenal scarves, like Chrissy is wearing, so he takes her Arsenal rosette.
The leader asks if they passed the couple five hours ago. Robin denies it. Chrissy says they were on their way to the match. The leader says they missed a great match, four-nil. Robin says, "Good team, Arsenal."
Chrissy says she thought he was a Southampton fan. The leader finds Robin's Southampton scarf, but he says it's not his. He borrowed it from a friend, his Kung Fu teacher.
Another biker looks under the bonnet and says the fanbelt is slipping. His name is Sid and he'll mend their car. They need a temporary fanbelt, so Robin offers the Southampton scarf.
These two bikers with lines are played by Hilary Minster and Drew Wood. The former actor also played a motorcyclist on The Long Chase, but he wasn't typecast, since he also appeared on Dr. Who and a 1977 miniseries of Anna Karenina, as well as 59 appearances as General Erich von Klinkerhoffen in 'Allo, Allo! Drew Wood had much fewer credits, ranging from '67 to '77, the last as a motorcyclist, and he, too, appeared on Dr. Who.
Two of the nicest: In the next scene, the Ropers are in their bedclothes. His wig shrunk. She says he shouldn't have dried it in the oven. She suggests he give it to the budgie as a nest.
Robin and Chrissy knock, then let themselves in. They return the keys and say that they were rescued by Mad Mick and Sid the Scratcher, two of the nicest Hell's Angels you could ever hope to meet. Robin says they had the tights off Chrissy. She says that was to use as a fanbelt.
Before they leave, Chrissy tells Mr. Roper, "Oh, er, I think it looks really nice." Mildred is amused since George is no longer wearing the wig.
Quirk: The funniest part of the episode is only three seconds long and was probably not as funny before the days when viewers could freeze-frame. Larry and Jo are playing Scrabble and the scene opens with a shot of the board upside-down.
The across words:
"orifice," "quirk," "anal," "who," "pubic," "smear," "ire," "teat," "rig," and "toss."
Reading down we get:
"dun," "okapi," "fellate," "ethyl," "pist" [sic], "breast," "cervix," "eo," "tit," and "ego."
Even if you want to assume that Jo is playing the less dirty words (with E-O tying in with "ethyl," since it could stand for "Ethelyne Oxide"), that still means only about eight words out of twenty. What makes it even funnier is none of the characters comments on this, like they just take it for granted. And the audience doesn't even react, like they did to Robin's zipper.
When Robin and Chrissy come in, Larry and Jo tell them about the match. Larry and Jo watched it on the telly because it was on Match of the Day.
Commentary: It's surprising that Robin and Chrissy borrow Roper's car, knowing how crappy it is. Perhaps subconsciously Chrissy hoped it would break down, although she still doesn't want to go to a hotel with Robin. And it's funny that they're going to Southampton and it doesn't occur to them to phone his parents to ask to stay with them. I do like that Robin's fanship for the Southampton team has stayed consistent since the first episode.
As for the subplot, I never really thought of George as bald, since he's less balding than Stanley Roper. On the other hand, I can't imagine Stanley buying a wig, since he's not insecure about his looks. (Janet is the one who buys a wig on 3'sC, but to try being a blonde.) Still, the subplot could've been more easily Americanized than the main plot, since none of the girls would've gone to see a game alone with Jack. (Not to mention that 3'sC, like most American sitcoms of its time, just didn't use exterior shots.)
One thing we learn in this episode is that Jo is not as innocent as she seems. Not only does she start thinking of football in sexual terms, but she's perfectly happy to play dirty-word Scrabble alone in the flat with Larry. Again, I wonder if the show was setting up Jo & Larry as a potential secondary couple, or if it just made sense to have them hang out together when Robin & Chrissy are off doing things.
Another notable aspect of this episode is that the tenants and landlords are getting less formal with each other, letting themselves into each other's flats more, as if they're all one big household.
Credits: The opening credits are mostly new. We again get a close-up of Big Ben and then a cut to Robin driving an old-fashioned car. But this time when they pull up to the zoo, we see a meter maid. She shakes her head because Robin has squeezed the car into a space that a very small car is using.
The trio stroll around the zoo, and we see the elephant and monkey again, but without any comparisons to the trio yet. There's also a bear.
This time when the trio go to the zoo cafe, Robin eats a burger, and we cut to a tiger eating raw meat. Chrissy eating a sandwich becomes a giraffe. And when Jo tosses a grape into her mouth, the shot switches to a seal catching a fish.
Two tickets: In the first scene, the girls are reading in the kitchen, Jo the newspaper and Chrissy a book called Indoor Plants. Robin is offscreen, singing a song I don't recognise. Chrissy is annoyed, so Jo suggests she stuff cotton wool in her ears. Chrissy says she'd rather stuff Robin's mouth with cotton wool.
Chrissy says Robin has just run through the Top 20 of 1930. (This confirms my theory that the show likes to make references to older music more than current.) Jo says, "Imagine what the Bottom 20 must be like." When Chrissy says Robin is driving her crazy, Jo correctly predicts that Robin will turn this into a song. (I remember a similar joke on 3'sC, but I can't place it at the moment.)
When Chrissy goes to an area off to the side of the kitchen (upstage right), Jo tells Robin that Chrissy doesn't like the sound of his voice. He says, "How do you think I feel? I was stuck in there with it."
He's very cheerful, and the audience starts laughing as he talks. When he says that all the women will be at his feet today, saying, "Take me, take me!", Jo says, "You'll be ready for them." It turns out he has his zipper down.
Jo has made toast, and even that makes Robin happy. He's got two tickets for the Southampton match. They're playing Arsenal, whom Chrissy likes.
Jo says it's a really silly game. Robin says to "just imagine being chased by eleven butch men...All trying to dispossess you and then scoring." Giggling, Jo says, "They'd have to catch me first.
Cobblers: Out on the never-before-seen balcony, Chrissy is talking to the plants, which explains her reading choice in the kitchen. It gives her something in common with Janet, although she's a secretary rather than a florist. When Robin goes out there and takes the mickey out of her, she says that science has proven that plants respond to the sound of the human voice. So he takes a plant out of its pot and speaks into it with a radio voice, as if it's a mic.
The ivy plant isn't doing as well. Robin says that the cat next door has been performing the rather unfeline act of cocking its leg on it.
He invites Chrissy to the match. She doesn't like the way he swears when the other side scores. He says that science has proven that Southampton players respond to the sound of the human voice. He also says something about kicking them in the cobblers and running for it. Since "cobblers" comes from Cockney rhyming slang for "balls" (from "cobbler's awl"), she says this is what she means about his swearing.
She agrees to go to the match since Arsenal are playing. When she asks why he's inviting her, he says he was thinking they could stay the night. She says they'll catch the return train. Or better yet, they can borrow Roper's car.
Wig: Downstairs at the Ropers', they talk about televison. They have a black & white set. Mildred's sister has had a colour set for six years. It has a 26" screen. Her sister can change channels without moving from her armchair. Goerge says so can he, by getting Mildred to do it. (Television remotes actually date back to 1950, but they were still very primitive in the mid '70s.)
The postman comes at 10. While George is getting the post, Mildred tells the budgie that George still owes the postman and several others their Christmas boxes. She calls George a "mingy little toad," which is possibly worse than Robin calling him "a mingy little ferret."
George has ordered a hairpiece. She wants him to try it on. He makes her promise not to laugh, but she can't help it.
Scrounger: Larry drops by the trio's flat, calling himself their friendly neighbourhood scrounger. He goes in before Jo greets him. Robin says he's always on the borrow. Larry says he gave them something last week. Chrissy says it was the flu.
He asks Robin if he's decided on the hotel. Chrissy tells him that they're not staying overnight. "If he gave you that impression...." Larry says, "Nah, nah, no, nothing like that. Should be a good match, he said, changing the subject quickly."
12 pound 50: While George is out of the room, putting on the wig, Mildred reads the information that came with it. She says he can swim in it. "That'll be interesting. You couldn't swim before." (As we learned on the previous epiosde.)
George enters in a wavy wig roughly the colour of his own red hair. Mildred stares. The audience is delighted. He says it cost 12 pound 50, including tax. She thinks he tacked it on, but he means VAT (Value Added Tax).
She finds the wig very weird. She says, "You've got more now than when I first met you." (And that would've been at least 30 years ago, since they met during the war.) He says this is "the real me, younger." She says he's got a little old face peeking out from a young head. He thinks being bald has held him back.
Someone knocks. He hides behind the newspaper as she lets in Chrissy, who asks to borrow the car. Mildred says OK and asks George what he thinks, taking away his paper. Chrissy tries not to react to the wig.
He says Southampton is a long way to drive. She says it's a good match. He touches his head, thinking she means the wig. Probably to get rid of her, he agrees to loan the car. She says they should be back tonight, and she leaves. He tells Mildred that he doesn't think Chrissy even noticed.
Short and curly: When Chrissy returns to the flat, Robin tells her that Larry has gone upstairs to get his Arsenal scarf. "You'll need it to hang yourself when we thrash the living daylights out of you."
She tells him and Jo about the wig. They're very amused. Robin says perhaps it's a transplant. Chrissy asks, "Where from? He didn't have a lot to begin with." Robin says it could be lots of places, and asks if it was short and curly. Chrissy doesn't seem to understand.
Jo says maybe Mr. Roper has let his sideboards (sideburns) grow and knotted them all together on top.
Mr. Roper knocks and lets himself in. He hands over the carkeys. Robin and Jo try not to stare at his wig. Mr. Roper asks if they've noticed anything different about him. They all protest no, then Chrissy asks if he's got a new cardigan.
Larry comes in and stares, exclaiming, "Gorblimey!" Then he pretends he's talking about the wallpaper.
Robin and Chrissy excuse themselves since they don't want to be late for the match. Mr. Roper says it wasn't easy to put on properly. He had to use strip paste and fill the cracks in with poly filler. Larry says, "Oh, the wallpaper, yeah."
Jo, as direct as ever, says, "Mr. Roper, I must ask you, is that a toupee?" When he admits it, she says, "Oh, I'd never have known." He's flattered and then confused.
Young: Downstairs later, George is reluctant to go to the pub because he feels shy about his wig. And he doesn't understand why Mildred wanted the kids to borrow the car. She says that they're young and they want to get out and enjoy themselves.
So we switch to an exterior of Chrissy steering the car as Robin pushes it. Then we cut between them and eight bikers, till the bikers catch up with them, driving on either side and yelling incoherent but probably rude things. After they drive on, Robin flips them off British style. And we cut to an advert.
AA: When we return, Robin is looking under the bonnet (hood) of the car. Chrissy is eating something from a sack, probably a snack they brought to eat at the match. She says the problem could be the fanbelt, since she at least knows where that is.
He says that if the car were a horse, he'd shoot it. She pours him something out of the thermos. She says they might be stuck here all night. He smiles.
They're right by a phone box, so she wants him to call the AA, not Alcoholics Anonymous but the British equivalent of Triple A. He says he's not a member. She says he could offer to join. He says it costs five quid, and the car isn't worth that.
He wants to hitch to Southampton. She worries people will pinch (steal) parts of the abandoned car. She suggests they phone Roper. Robin would rather find a small hotel and stay the night. She says, "You never give up, do you?" So he'll call Roper, but he'll be at the pub this time of day.
Hair: In the pub, Larry is talking about the Southampton team. He says that the back four expose themselves, leave themselves wide open, vulnerable to sudden attack. Jo takes this suggestively and says, "They would be."
The nameless barman is played by John Carlin, formerly Larry's prissy landlord. He's almost unrecognisable in this costume and with different mannerisms. He'll go on to five more episodes in that role, mostly in this fourth series. Here, he asks something about who on the Arsenal forward side can take advantage. Jo tells Larry, "Don't answer that because it's libelous."
We switch over to a table where the Ropers are sitting. He's wearing a tam o'shanter over his wig. Mildred takes off the hat. She wants a gin and tonic, so he goes over to the bar and orders a small one. She changes it to large.
Jo, in whispers, compliments Mr. Roper's wig. He feels self-conscious and wants her to change the subject. So she asks the Ropers if they're going to the Litle Theatre next week. Mrs. Roper asks what's on. Jo says, "Oh, it's that," and points to the poster for the Kensington Players' production of Hair. She covers her laughter with her hand, and Larry and Mildred try not to laugh.
Wigan: The barman answers the phone, and we get reconfirmation that this is the White Swan. (I don't know why they stopped going to the Mucky Duck.) We cut back and forth between the pub and the stranded couple. Robin asks to speak to George Roper, describing him as a little ratty fellow, of 4'3". Chrissy adds that Mr. Roper is wearing a wig. The barman calls for a George Wigan.
Robin repeats Mr. Roper's name and describes the wig as a "ridiculous curly ginger thing. Oh, hello, Mr. Roper." He tells Mr. Roper that the car made a terrible noise. Chrissy imitates it and Robin imitates her. They decide to let him listen to the noise himself. In the funniest line of the episode, George tells Mildred, "They've got the car in the phone box with 'em."
Robin starts the car and Chrissy holds out the phone. After listening, Mr. Roper says it's difficult to say. The operator asks for 2p, which Robin and Chrissy don't have. George tells them it's probably the carburetor and they'll have to strip it down, but they've already been disconnected.
As George is turning, a man named Mike spills four beers on his head. Mike is played by Michael Redfern, the bigger removal man on the previous episode, as well as Tom from "Match of the Day." He'd go on to play a policeman on both Robin's Nest and George & Mildred, as well as The Young Ones and several other programmes. Here, he and George yell at each other, ending with him saying, "Keep your hair on!"
Scarves: It's now gotten dark and Chrissy is complaining. She says they could be there all night. He says, "Not both of us, 'cause I'm gonna strangle you."
When he wants her to start the car, she thinks it won't work.
Robin: You've got no faith in me, have you?
Chrissy: How can I put it? No.
When it doesn't work, she says he's not a mechanic, he's a cookery student, and he could probably casserole the carburetor beautifully.
The bikers return. They hope that the bikers didn't see Robin give them the V sign. He tells her to keep her sense of humour, and if that fails?
Chrissy: Kick them in the--
Robin: Yes.
Robin sees the bikers' Arsenal scarves, like Chrissy is wearing, so he takes her Arsenal rosette.
The leader asks if they passed the couple five hours ago. Robin denies it. Chrissy says they were on their way to the match. The leader says they missed a great match, four-nil. Robin says, "Good team, Arsenal."
Chrissy says she thought he was a Southampton fan. The leader finds Robin's Southampton scarf, but he says it's not his. He borrowed it from a friend, his Kung Fu teacher.
Another biker looks under the bonnet and says the fanbelt is slipping. His name is Sid and he'll mend their car. They need a temporary fanbelt, so Robin offers the Southampton scarf.
These two bikers with lines are played by Hilary Minster and Drew Wood. The former actor also played a motorcyclist on The Long Chase, but he wasn't typecast, since he also appeared on Dr. Who and a 1977 miniseries of Anna Karenina, as well as 59 appearances as General Erich von Klinkerhoffen in 'Allo, Allo! Drew Wood had much fewer credits, ranging from '67 to '77, the last as a motorcyclist, and he, too, appeared on Dr. Who.
Two of the nicest: In the next scene, the Ropers are in their bedclothes. His wig shrunk. She says he shouldn't have dried it in the oven. She suggests he give it to the budgie as a nest.
Robin and Chrissy knock, then let themselves in. They return the keys and say that they were rescued by Mad Mick and Sid the Scratcher, two of the nicest Hell's Angels you could ever hope to meet. Robin says they had the tights off Chrissy. She says that was to use as a fanbelt.
Before they leave, Chrissy tells Mr. Roper, "Oh, er, I think it looks really nice." Mildred is amused since George is no longer wearing the wig.
Quirk: The funniest part of the episode is only three seconds long and was probably not as funny before the days when viewers could freeze-frame. Larry and Jo are playing Scrabble and the scene opens with a shot of the board upside-down.
The across words:
"orifice," "quirk," "anal," "who," "pubic," "smear," "ire," "teat," "rig," and "toss."
Reading down we get:
"dun," "okapi," "fellate," "ethyl," "pist" [sic], "breast," "cervix," "eo," "tit," and "ego."
Even if you want to assume that Jo is playing the less dirty words (with E-O tying in with "ethyl," since it could stand for "Ethelyne Oxide"), that still means only about eight words out of twenty. What makes it even funnier is none of the characters comments on this, like they just take it for granted. And the audience doesn't even react, like they did to Robin's zipper.
When Robin and Chrissy come in, Larry and Jo tell them about the match. Larry and Jo watched it on the telly because it was on Match of the Day.
Commentary: It's surprising that Robin and Chrissy borrow Roper's car, knowing how crappy it is. Perhaps subconsciously Chrissy hoped it would break down, although she still doesn't want to go to a hotel with Robin. And it's funny that they're going to Southampton and it doesn't occur to them to phone his parents to ask to stay with them. I do like that Robin's fanship for the Southampton team has stayed consistent since the first episode.
As for the subplot, I never really thought of George as bald, since he's less balding than Stanley Roper. On the other hand, I can't imagine Stanley buying a wig, since he's not insecure about his looks. (Janet is the one who buys a wig on 3'sC, but to try being a blonde.) Still, the subplot could've been more easily Americanized than the main plot, since none of the girls would've gone to see a game alone with Jack. (Not to mention that 3'sC, like most American sitcoms of its time, just didn't use exterior shots.)
One thing we learn in this episode is that Jo is not as innocent as she seems. Not only does she start thinking of football in sexual terms, but she's perfectly happy to play dirty-word Scrabble alone in the flat with Larry. Again, I wonder if the show was setting up Jo & Larry as a potential secondary couple, or if it just made sense to have them hang out together when Robin & Chrissy are off doing things.
Another notable aspect of this episode is that the tenants and landlords are getting less formal with each other, letting themselves into each other's flats more, as if they're all one big household.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
The Movie, Appraisal
Foundation: One reason this movie seems to be set earlier is that the three-year lease had just expired on "We Shall Not Be Moved," which aired the month before the movie hit theatres. But the main way this movie feels like it takes place before MatH20 is that Larry is still living at Mr. Gideon's, even though he moved out on MatH13. Obviously, movies take longer to shoot than television shows, but you'd think that the writers might've spoken to each other about some of the major developments. Actually, the movie was written by Brian Cooke and Johnnie Mortimer, who wrote the little-screen episodes, and they probably figured that it helped fill out the block if Larry's house was one of the six. For those keeping score at home, we don't know who lives in #1 or #2, the first houses to be sold to Spiros.
The main way the movie feels like it takes place too far in the future is Robin and Chrissy's relationship. You've got the theme song talking about Chrissy's feelings, and she and Robin seem to go further physically than before, unless more happened on "While the Cat's Away" than we were shown. Yes, it's just necking, but it's a start and might've led to more if they hadn't been interrupted. Chrissy's two selves, old-fashioned farm girl and sophisticated city girl, continue to fight each other in the midst of the sexual revolution. (Of course, Chrissy's farm girl side has seen the animals do things, so she's not that innocent.)
As for the ways this seems to be set in a parallel universe, there are many. The first is that there's no audience or laugh track, so the rhythm of the movie feels off. There are some funny lines, like the one about giving children to dogs' charities, but things don't seem to build as well as they do on television. The "pair" exchange during the strip poker game feels like it needs laughter for punctuation.
In place of the laughter, we get music at odd moments, only once explained as being from a record. The music gives a corny, overly old-fashioned touch to the movie, especially when it's soft music for Robin trying to seduce Chrissy.
Also the design of the sets is disorienting, both the placing of the rooms and their decoration, with the clothes not harmonising well, like Jo's pink floral outfit clashing horribly with the purple lounge and a blue lamp or vase.
Tenants: Parallel-Universe Chrissy cooks breakfast, while she never cooks on the show. PU Jo is still a rotten cook though. I like that we see PU Robin at not only school but work. It's also a nice touch to make Larry a waiter. This allows them to help Chrissy get revenge on Pluthero for his greed.
PU Chrissy being a card shark is a definite contradiction of "Three of a Kind." Her probably being good at chess but pretending otherwise is very different behaviour than in MatH19, where she gloated to Jo about beating Robin at chess.
PU Larry is more flirtatious, not only actually asking Jo out, but blowing a kiss to Mrs. Roper. The whole thing with his car is unlike anything on the programme, and seems to be there, one, to open things up a bit and make them more cinematic; two, to give him an opportunity to spend time with Jo while Robin and Chrissy have their alone time; and three, to give the trio a reason to be annoyed with him. The thing is though, I feel sorry for Larry. Yes, he clumsily tries to seduce Jo, but he's a gentleman about it when she says no. Yes, he's a bad driver, but that's no excuse for Jo to take the wheel and then drive them into the lake. And, yes, he interrupted Robin and Chrissy's date, but Jo had to come home sometime, and anyway, they were supposed to be working on the petition and it's not like Robin told Larry to keep Jo out as late as possible. OK, Jo has frog spawn in her bra, but she damaged Larry's car. And then the three of them and Mrs. Roper drive off in his car, without even asking his permission, while he's under the car and could've been injured! Nothing he does in any universe excuses this sort of treatment.
The most important difference for PU Mildred is that her army sergeant is not an American but a Brit who's working in London. There's a strong suggestion that they'll take up with each other again, her "compensation," or at least happily reminisce, with him as her "boarder." With this, the Edmund & Hazel plot, and Pluthero's ambiguous marital status while he's seducing/ being seduced by Miss Bird, the attitude towards adultery in this movie is much more casual than on the show. But then there's a lot more suggested nudity, too, and we never actually see anything.
The thing about the Ropers not having children feels odd because it's never an issue on the show. Helen Roper has a line on the subject that goes something like "We tried and tried again. We would've tried a third time, but Stanley had a headache." Both Mrs. Ropers have maternal streaks, but it's a surprise to find George saying he'd have liked children, since there's nothing in either universe to support this.
Guests: One big difference from the television show is that so much time is spent with guest stars, sometimes even in the absence of the regulars. Most prominent of course are Pluthero, with his boss and chauffeur to talk to when he's not with the residents of Myddleton Terrace, and Sir Edmund, who has that phone conversation with his "friend" Miss Lovett. And Pluthero and Sir Edmund have a scene together, plus the scenes of them on Today. While this allows for satire of business and politics (and possibly both in the case of Spiros, if his last name is a reference to Agnew), it takes time away from the focus on the trio and their friends. Even the RCST gets pushed aside for much of the movie, until it suddenly comes back in the last few minutes. In a way, we seem invited to empathise with Pluthero, considering how the music celebrates when a Spiros sign goes up and mourns when one goes down. And you could almost feel sorry for him at different points, if only his whole life weren't built on greed and deception.
The "celebrity cameos" feel pointless, even if they're meant to add colour to the studio scenes. It's not just because I'm a Gen-X American that I can't go all fangirl over the likes of Smethurst and Walker, or even Milligan. It's interesting that they're in the movie, but no more so than it's interesting that Norman Mitchell is in it, and at least his character has a pay-off. Only Scooby-Doo ever really got away with the whole "OMG, it's C-List Celebrity!" thing.
It is ironic that Smethurst and Walker's show was called "Love Thy Neighbour," since both of the trio's female neighbours are presented sexually, one a mistress and the other a nymphomaniac who even scares randy Robin. It's interesting that Mildred is immediately if unjustifiably jealous of Hazel, while George takes awhile to work up jealousy towards Arthur.
Long-term: The Ropers having been married 22 years is jumping the gun a bit, since they celebrated their 20th on MatH7, which aired 15 months before the movie came out. And, yes, it does feel off that George and Mildred met during WWII, but didn't get married till '52 or '53, but that's a problem in both universes.
It probably says something about Britain and/or the '70s that it's less of a big deal for Larry to offer Jo pot than to try to seduce her, although no doubt the pot was going to be part of the seduction. While there are pot jokes on the show, it's only in the parallel universe that two regular characters can have tried it before. The shadow of the '60s definitely hangs over this movie, with Jo wanting them to occupy the building, and Robin trying to pass himself off as a freaked-out hippie vicar. The activism of the trio, Chrissy in particular, with her speech-making, feels like sanitised '60s idealism, since being anti-development is less controversial than being anti-war.
Assessment: The movie is definitely worth watching for a MatH completist. It's uneven but probably better than the worst of the programme, like "Match of the Day" and "Three of a Kind." It's at least more memorable.
The main way the movie feels like it takes place too far in the future is Robin and Chrissy's relationship. You've got the theme song talking about Chrissy's feelings, and she and Robin seem to go further physically than before, unless more happened on "While the Cat's Away" than we were shown. Yes, it's just necking, but it's a start and might've led to more if they hadn't been interrupted. Chrissy's two selves, old-fashioned farm girl and sophisticated city girl, continue to fight each other in the midst of the sexual revolution. (Of course, Chrissy's farm girl side has seen the animals do things, so she's not that innocent.)
As for the ways this seems to be set in a parallel universe, there are many. The first is that there's no audience or laugh track, so the rhythm of the movie feels off. There are some funny lines, like the one about giving children to dogs' charities, but things don't seem to build as well as they do on television. The "pair" exchange during the strip poker game feels like it needs laughter for punctuation.
In place of the laughter, we get music at odd moments, only once explained as being from a record. The music gives a corny, overly old-fashioned touch to the movie, especially when it's soft music for Robin trying to seduce Chrissy.
Also the design of the sets is disorienting, both the placing of the rooms and their decoration, with the clothes not harmonising well, like Jo's pink floral outfit clashing horribly with the purple lounge and a blue lamp or vase.
Tenants: Parallel-Universe Chrissy cooks breakfast, while she never cooks on the show. PU Jo is still a rotten cook though. I like that we see PU Robin at not only school but work. It's also a nice touch to make Larry a waiter. This allows them to help Chrissy get revenge on Pluthero for his greed.
PU Chrissy being a card shark is a definite contradiction of "Three of a Kind." Her probably being good at chess but pretending otherwise is very different behaviour than in MatH19, where she gloated to Jo about beating Robin at chess.
PU Larry is more flirtatious, not only actually asking Jo out, but blowing a kiss to Mrs. Roper. The whole thing with his car is unlike anything on the programme, and seems to be there, one, to open things up a bit and make them more cinematic; two, to give him an opportunity to spend time with Jo while Robin and Chrissy have their alone time; and three, to give the trio a reason to be annoyed with him. The thing is though, I feel sorry for Larry. Yes, he clumsily tries to seduce Jo, but he's a gentleman about it when she says no. Yes, he's a bad driver, but that's no excuse for Jo to take the wheel and then drive them into the lake. And, yes, he interrupted Robin and Chrissy's date, but Jo had to come home sometime, and anyway, they were supposed to be working on the petition and it's not like Robin told Larry to keep Jo out as late as possible. OK, Jo has frog spawn in her bra, but she damaged Larry's car. And then the three of them and Mrs. Roper drive off in his car, without even asking his permission, while he's under the car and could've been injured! Nothing he does in any universe excuses this sort of treatment.
The most important difference for PU Mildred is that her army sergeant is not an American but a Brit who's working in London. There's a strong suggestion that they'll take up with each other again, her "compensation," or at least happily reminisce, with him as her "boarder." With this, the Edmund & Hazel plot, and Pluthero's ambiguous marital status while he's seducing/ being seduced by Miss Bird, the attitude towards adultery in this movie is much more casual than on the show. But then there's a lot more suggested nudity, too, and we never actually see anything.
The thing about the Ropers not having children feels odd because it's never an issue on the show. Helen Roper has a line on the subject that goes something like "We tried and tried again. We would've tried a third time, but Stanley had a headache." Both Mrs. Ropers have maternal streaks, but it's a surprise to find George saying he'd have liked children, since there's nothing in either universe to support this.
Guests: One big difference from the television show is that so much time is spent with guest stars, sometimes even in the absence of the regulars. Most prominent of course are Pluthero, with his boss and chauffeur to talk to when he's not with the residents of Myddleton Terrace, and Sir Edmund, who has that phone conversation with his "friend" Miss Lovett. And Pluthero and Sir Edmund have a scene together, plus the scenes of them on Today. While this allows for satire of business and politics (and possibly both in the case of Spiros, if his last name is a reference to Agnew), it takes time away from the focus on the trio and their friends. Even the RCST gets pushed aside for much of the movie, until it suddenly comes back in the last few minutes. In a way, we seem invited to empathise with Pluthero, considering how the music celebrates when a Spiros sign goes up and mourns when one goes down. And you could almost feel sorry for him at different points, if only his whole life weren't built on greed and deception.
The "celebrity cameos" feel pointless, even if they're meant to add colour to the studio scenes. It's not just because I'm a Gen-X American that I can't go all fangirl over the likes of Smethurst and Walker, or even Milligan. It's interesting that they're in the movie, but no more so than it's interesting that Norman Mitchell is in it, and at least his character has a pay-off. Only Scooby-Doo ever really got away with the whole "OMG, it's C-List Celebrity!" thing.
It is ironic that Smethurst and Walker's show was called "Love Thy Neighbour," since both of the trio's female neighbours are presented sexually, one a mistress and the other a nymphomaniac who even scares randy Robin. It's interesting that Mildred is immediately if unjustifiably jealous of Hazel, while George takes awhile to work up jealousy towards Arthur.
Long-term: The Ropers having been married 22 years is jumping the gun a bit, since they celebrated their 20th on MatH7, which aired 15 months before the movie came out. And, yes, it does feel off that George and Mildred met during WWII, but didn't get married till '52 or '53, but that's a problem in both universes.
It probably says something about Britain and/or the '70s that it's less of a big deal for Larry to offer Jo pot than to try to seduce her, although no doubt the pot was going to be part of the seduction. While there are pot jokes on the show, it's only in the parallel universe that two regular characters can have tried it before. The shadow of the '60s definitely hangs over this movie, with Jo wanting them to occupy the building, and Robin trying to pass himself off as a freaked-out hippie vicar. The activism of the trio, Chrissy in particular, with her speech-making, feels like sanitised '60s idealism, since being anti-development is less controversial than being anti-war.
Assessment: The movie is definitely worth watching for a MatH completist. It's uneven but probably better than the worst of the programme, like "Match of the Day" and "Three of a Kind." It's at least more memorable.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
The Movie, Part Three
Naive young girl: The restaurant that Chrissy is thinking of is of course the one where Robin works. And we see that both the kitchen and cook are now clean, under his influence. He tests one of the dishes, and the cook suggests a touch more nutmeg, if Robin thinks it's all right. The cook goes to wash his hands, since he's been touching the flour.
We see Chrissy and Pluthero sitting in a booth, and then Larry tells Robin. Pluthero offers Chrissy 200. She says she's a naive young girl.
Pluthero: I wouldn't say that.
Chrissy: But it's what you were thinking.
She says she owes loyalty to the other people in the flat.
The cook and Larry are spying on them. The cook asks if that's the fellow they were telling him about. Larry says yes, because of Pluthero he has to look for a new pad (as in home).
Chrissy excuses herself from the table and goes in the kitchen. She tells Robin that Pluthero is "bribing me into throwing you and Jo out into the street." When she returns to the table, she says she changed her mind, getting Pluthero's hopes up. But she's decided to start with the beluga caviar instead. She orders from Larry and they act like they don't know each other.
Robin puts "a bit too much" black pepper on the Steak Diane. Larry and the cook egg him on.
Pluthero says that his mother wanted him to be a concert cellist but he didn't have the knees for it, so he went into property management instead. Chrissy says he went from one big fiddle to another (in the sense of fraud). He says, "Very good, yes, ha ha."
Larry, just for the hell of it, puts on a bad French accent.
Pluthero notices that the salad has an unusual flavour, exotic.
Castor oil: Robin drinks some brandy and passes it to Larry, who swigs it down. Robin puts castor oil in Pluthero's meal. Larry drinks some more brandy. Then Robin adds Epsom salt. He, Larry, and the cook are all laughing.
Chrissy says Pluthero is only doing his job, being underhand and sneaky. He says he could go up to 400. She says her answer would still be no. He thinks the sauce is very rich and piquant.
Robin worries both that he put in too much castor oil and that nothing seems to be happening. (Like castor oil, Epsom salt can be used as a laxative.) The cook says, "That's what they said about Krakatoa." Larry goes out there and takes the plates away.
Chrissy says Pluthero could stop the development. He wonders if her coffee tastes all right. He's about to make one final offer, but he has to excuse himself to the restroom. Meanwhile the chauffeur answers a call on the car phone.
Pluthero returns to the table and doesn't look well. She says he was about to make the final offer and she was about to refuse. Outside the D. Gabriel something Pub/Trattoria, the chauffeur goes up the steps and hands a written message to a waiter who's not Larry. That waiter gives the message to Pluthero, who reads it and says, "Right away?"
Sincere gesture: We return to Spiros's office, with the silent black secretary and all. Pluthero apologises for being late, but he had to stop off once or twice on the way. He says he's got almost all the houses. There's a small problem with sitting tenants at #6.
Spiros: Communists?
Pluthero: Worse. Idealists.
Spiros says that public relations says that they're not getting good press. He holds up some clippings, probably the articles that the residents of #6 have been reading.
Pluthero, still having internal disturbance, wants to leave, but Spiros tells him to sit down. Spiros is worried this bad PR may affect his knighthood. The phone rings, but Spiros still won't let Pluthero go. The secretary leaves with papers Spiros has been signing.
Spiros says that the GLC (I think the Greater London Council) will grant a preservation order at their next meeting. He tells the person on the phone, "He's here with me now. I haven't told him."
After he hangs up, he smiles and goes over to Pluthero. He says he's been asked to appear on television to defend the project, but he's not going to do it, Pluthero will. He wants Pluthero to tell them the project has been cancelled. It will be a sincere gesture to public opinion. And it's because a certain incompetent was unable to get all six houses before the preservation order.
Pluthero asks, "What if I get all six?" Spiros says the program is at six o'clock, so he has till then.
Spiros wants him to mention how he (Spiros) gives to children's charities. "No, make it dogs." Pluthero dashes into Spiros's private washroom.
We cut to an exterior of a skyscraper as we hear a toilet flush. Then we pan down to the street. Pluthero exits, looking worn out. He gets in the car. He starts to give his destination as Thames Television, Euston Road, then changes it to Myddleton Terrace, #6.
Poor little husbands: We next see Pluthero being let into the building by Mr. Roper. He wants to use the washroom.
While Pluthero's busy with that, George is about to sign the agreement, but Mildred comes home from shopping. She enjoyed having men pressed up against her on the Tube. He says that was "very nice, I'm sure." She got the see-through nightie. She says it'll send his blood pressure up, just from looking at the price tag.
Then she sees the agreement. Pluthero comes in from the washroom. Mildred is very angry.
The girls are in the entryway. Chrissy says she was holding out for 500 but Pluthero left. The Ropers exit from the flat, Mildred yelling at Pluthero for "bullying my poor little husband." But Pluthero claims to be a husband himself, and now that he's had to cancel the project, "think of my wife and kids." He shows a family picture. The women don't buy it.
Pluthero goes down the steps and back to the limo. He tells the chauffeur, "You can have your photograph back, Jenkins."
Robin comes home with groceries. He asks Pluthero how he feels. Pluthero ignores him and tells the chauffeur to take him to Thames Television, Euston Road.
Pluthero says, "You keep your ear to the ground, Jenkins. You know who's on the way up, and who's on the way out." Jenkins puts up the glass divider. Jenkins is played by Bill Sawyer, who has only six credits on IMDB, and he just doesn't look old enough to have done two shorts in 1929 and '30. He probably is the same Bill Sawyer who played a taxi driver and a lorry driver in other movies. He also has an uncredited role as a Puritan in the Hammer horror Twins of Evil.
Celebratory drinks: At the Ropers' later, Mildred is happy. Today is going to be on at six o'clock. She gets the sherry out.
In the kitchen upstairs, Chrissy and Robin are having drinks to celebrate. The doorbell rings and Jo answers it. Mildred has come to invite them down for drinks, but Robin offers her a drink.
Downstairs though, Mr. Roper smoothes out the agreement. He says, "All that money." Upstairs, everyone is laughing and drinking. They believe that this shows that "ordinary men and women can do things." Ordinary man George Roper signs the agreement.
With the redesign of the entryway, we get the trio and Mildred going down the stairs and into the flat through one door, while George sneaks out the other door.
He has trouble starting his car. His wife sees him from the window. And then she sees his signed copy of the agreement.
Slightly goofy music plays as George drives off, with Mildred and the trio running outside, his wife yelling. They see the Thames Studio address mixed in with the agreement papers and Robin says, "This is where Pluthero's gone."
The four of them go over to Larry's car, with the keys left in it.
Jo: Should we ask him first?
Robin: Oh, I'm sure he won't mind.
They drive off, revealing that Larry was lying under the car. He cries, "Oi!"
Thames Television Studio: We see George pull up to the studio, parking next to Pluthero's Rolls. He gets out of his car.
In the lobby, a doorman is on the phone. George goes up to him, so he rings off. George says he's got to see a man, and the man's Rolls is outside. The doorman asks if he has a ticket. Since George doesn't, the doorman throws him out. George says he pays his (television) licence, which is probably a lie rather a parallel-universe truth.
Meanwhile, Pluthero is being made up. Sir Edmund comes in.
We next see George sneaking onto the studio lot on the back on a flat-bed lorry. He falls off holding a donkey piñata.
Larry's car pulls up and everyone gets out. Apparently parking is no problem in London.
Miss World: The doorman stops the four of them in the lobby. Robin claims to be a freaked-out hippie vicar who'll be interviewing Miss World. Chrissy says, "I'm interested in travel and meeting people. And religion." Direct Jo asks where they're filming the Today programme.
The doorman asks for their tickets. Mildred says she wants to catch her husband. But then she recognises the guard as Arthur Mulgrove! He recognises her as Mildred Asquith. The trio sneak out.
Oddly enough, he's not listed by name in the credits, just "Doorman." The actor, Norman Mitchell, was about 55 at the time of this movie and somehow had roles two years after his death in 2001. He often played policeman, as in the aforementioned Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell. He'd go on to four appearances on George & Mildred, although probably not as another of Mildred's exes.
As himself: Meanwhile, George encounters Spike Milligan as himself. Milligan acts completely mad, as usual. He was best known for the radio programme The Goon Show. When George tries to find Today, he riffs on that.
Back in the lobby, Arthur says he kept Mildred's photograph. She says she named her budgie for him. She would've replied to his letters, but he never wrote any. He says he didn't want his feelings going through the Army censor.
She says she took up with a butcher's boy.
Arthur: Did anything come of that?
Mildred: Nothing at all. I married him.
(This is consistent with MatH13, where George said he worked for a butcher when he was young.)
On the set of Today, the interviewer comes over. Sir Edmund hopes that it's This Is Your Life, but the large red book is the programme's script. Today was a real show, and Bill Grundy is playing himself, although credited as "Interviewer." He was suspended two years after this movie because of a profanity-filled interview with the Sex Pistols. The programme was cancelled two months later and his career was ruined. The interview with Pluthero and Weir will go a bit more smoothly.
Love Thy Neighbour: The trio meet Spike Milligan, Jo particularly amused by him.
Then George meets Jack Smethurst and Rudolph Walker, the stars of Love Thy Neighbour, a very popular sitcom about two families, one white, one black, living next door to each other. They're talking about who will win in the end, white or black, but they mean chess. When George uses LTN's slur for Walker's character, "nig-nog," Smethurst says, "Don't talk to my friend like that!" George says Smethurst does, on the telly. Walker says Smethurst gets paid for it. George says Walker is just as bad, calling Smethurst white honky and snowflake. After George leaves, Walker says, "I think I fancy a white lady," meaning the cocktail.
Meanwhile, the producer of Today scolds the camera man for acting like a "tit man" as he scans the crowd. The producer is played by Julian Orchard, who probably worked with a lot of tit men, since he did four Carry On movies. His P.A. (production assistant) is played by Berry Cornish, who has only three other screen credits, all of them sounding as minor as this non-speaking role. She should get the award for the most obscure performer in this movie, outdoing the secretary, the Boy Scout, and even the chauffeur.
Second Doorman: A second doorman stands outside the studio for Today. He's played by Michael Robbins, whose most significant role seems to have been as Arthur Rudge on 61 episodes of On the Buses. He asks George if he's invited. When George says yes, he lets him go in. Then he smokes.
Meanwhile, Sir Edmund says to Pluthero that he trusts Pluthero won't say a word about Hazel, Miss Lovett. "I wouldn't want the world to know I've been keeping a young lady in #5." The producer says, "No, you wouldn't, would you?"
The title card for Today has very '70s lettering, that "futuristic" style, a little like this:
Grundy says that they're going to devote the whole evening to the "Myddleton Terrace controversy."
The second doorman tells the trio that he's not allowed to let them in, presumably because filming has started. Then he says he's not allowed to smoke on duty either, or accept gratuities. Robin puts something in the doorman's pocket. He lets them in, then finds the tip is some kind of washer.
Poppet: George tries to signal to Pluthero. Grundy reads from a press cutting where Sir Edmund said that they'll fight them on the planning committees, on the local councils, and never surrender. (On MatH, Robin had already referenced the Churchill speech.) But Sir Edmund no longer stands by that statement. And when Grundy asks Pluthero if the development is socially necessary, he says no.
The trio see Roper, as Grundy tries to understand the switched positions of his guests. Mr. Roper sets the signed agreement on the table. The producer says, "Fred, be a poppet, and get him out, will you?" Mr. Roper is yanked away. Jo says, "He's got the agreement," meaning Pluthero.
Pluthero says that agreement was "arrived at by five of the householders, including--" Then Sir Edmund coughs. "But my superior, Mr. Spiros, who has given several children to dogs' charities, anonymously of course...." Spiros is watching in disgust on his very mod-looking television. Pluthero continues to misspeak, saying that Spiros is also anxious about his knighthood.
Pluthero accidentally tears up Roper's agreement. The trio gloat at Roper. Then Pluthero realises what he's done.
Compensation: A funeral dirge plays as the Spiros signs go down and into a lorry. Robin and Chrissy watch from the window. She says it's a lovely sight.
They turn around, Robin's arm around her as they step away from the window. He asks if she's ever played chess. She says her grandmother taught her.
Jo comes in wearing a blinding pink floral outfit. Robin says everyone is getting compensation. Jo says except for the Ropers. Chrissy says, "Oh, I don't know. I think Mrs. Roper might be getting some."
Downstairs, Mrs. Roper looks out the window. A cab pulls up. She wants George to get the luggage, but he says, "Stuff his luggage." Arthur is here, and he's going to be their lodger. She greets him in her pink dressing gown. She says, "Come inside. George is just dying to see you." He says, "You're looking lovely." George mockingly repeats this. Arthur-the-budgie says, "Thank you." George is surprised, since this seems to be the first time the budgie has ever said anything.
Back upstairs, Jo has left the room, and Chrissy now says she was thinking of another game, and she can't play chess after all. Robin takes out a set. We learn the value of the pieces. Pawn = pair of tights. Bishop = skirt. Queen = "well, we'll sort that out." He says the whole object of the game is to try to mate. He puts his arm around her. She looks amused, skeptical, and intrigued.
Closing: We see the exterior of the row of houses. A version of the theme song plays as the credits roll. The worst rhyme this time is "must rearrange things/ not to estrange him." And the singer asks the musical question, "With all the little things we shared and said/ Right from the start/ How can I tell him what's here in my heart?"
We learn that this movie was made at Elstree Studio, Hertfordshire, England, which I assume means the peculiar interiors, and not the shots of the Thames Studio and other London locations.
We see Chrissy and Pluthero sitting in a booth, and then Larry tells Robin. Pluthero offers Chrissy 200. She says she's a naive young girl.
Pluthero: I wouldn't say that.
Chrissy: But it's what you were thinking.
She says she owes loyalty to the other people in the flat.
The cook and Larry are spying on them. The cook asks if that's the fellow they were telling him about. Larry says yes, because of Pluthero he has to look for a new pad (as in home).
Chrissy excuses herself from the table and goes in the kitchen. She tells Robin that Pluthero is "bribing me into throwing you and Jo out into the street." When she returns to the table, she says she changed her mind, getting Pluthero's hopes up. But she's decided to start with the beluga caviar instead. She orders from Larry and they act like they don't know each other.
Robin puts "a bit too much" black pepper on the Steak Diane. Larry and the cook egg him on.
Pluthero says that his mother wanted him to be a concert cellist but he didn't have the knees for it, so he went into property management instead. Chrissy says he went from one big fiddle to another (in the sense of fraud). He says, "Very good, yes, ha ha."
Larry, just for the hell of it, puts on a bad French accent.
Pluthero notices that the salad has an unusual flavour, exotic.
Castor oil: Robin drinks some brandy and passes it to Larry, who swigs it down. Robin puts castor oil in Pluthero's meal. Larry drinks some more brandy. Then Robin adds Epsom salt. He, Larry, and the cook are all laughing.
Chrissy says Pluthero is only doing his job, being underhand and sneaky. He says he could go up to 400. She says her answer would still be no. He thinks the sauce is very rich and piquant.
Robin worries both that he put in too much castor oil and that nothing seems to be happening. (Like castor oil, Epsom salt can be used as a laxative.) The cook says, "That's what they said about Krakatoa." Larry goes out there and takes the plates away.
Chrissy says Pluthero could stop the development. He wonders if her coffee tastes all right. He's about to make one final offer, but he has to excuse himself to the restroom. Meanwhile the chauffeur answers a call on the car phone.
Pluthero returns to the table and doesn't look well. She says he was about to make the final offer and she was about to refuse. Outside the D. Gabriel something Pub/Trattoria, the chauffeur goes up the steps and hands a written message to a waiter who's not Larry. That waiter gives the message to Pluthero, who reads it and says, "Right away?"
Sincere gesture: We return to Spiros's office, with the silent black secretary and all. Pluthero apologises for being late, but he had to stop off once or twice on the way. He says he's got almost all the houses. There's a small problem with sitting tenants at #6.
Spiros: Communists?
Pluthero: Worse. Idealists.
Spiros says that public relations says that they're not getting good press. He holds up some clippings, probably the articles that the residents of #6 have been reading.
Pluthero, still having internal disturbance, wants to leave, but Spiros tells him to sit down. Spiros is worried this bad PR may affect his knighthood. The phone rings, but Spiros still won't let Pluthero go. The secretary leaves with papers Spiros has been signing.
Spiros says that the GLC (I think the Greater London Council) will grant a preservation order at their next meeting. He tells the person on the phone, "He's here with me now. I haven't told him."
After he hangs up, he smiles and goes over to Pluthero. He says he's been asked to appear on television to defend the project, but he's not going to do it, Pluthero will. He wants Pluthero to tell them the project has been cancelled. It will be a sincere gesture to public opinion. And it's because a certain incompetent was unable to get all six houses before the preservation order.
Pluthero asks, "What if I get all six?" Spiros says the program is at six o'clock, so he has till then.
Spiros wants him to mention how he (Spiros) gives to children's charities. "No, make it dogs." Pluthero dashes into Spiros's private washroom.
We cut to an exterior of a skyscraper as we hear a toilet flush. Then we pan down to the street. Pluthero exits, looking worn out. He gets in the car. He starts to give his destination as Thames Television, Euston Road, then changes it to Myddleton Terrace, #6.
Poor little husbands: We next see Pluthero being let into the building by Mr. Roper. He wants to use the washroom.
While Pluthero's busy with that, George is about to sign the agreement, but Mildred comes home from shopping. She enjoyed having men pressed up against her on the Tube. He says that was "very nice, I'm sure." She got the see-through nightie. She says it'll send his blood pressure up, just from looking at the price tag.
Then she sees the agreement. Pluthero comes in from the washroom. Mildred is very angry.
The girls are in the entryway. Chrissy says she was holding out for 500 but Pluthero left. The Ropers exit from the flat, Mildred yelling at Pluthero for "bullying my poor little husband." But Pluthero claims to be a husband himself, and now that he's had to cancel the project, "think of my wife and kids." He shows a family picture. The women don't buy it.
Pluthero goes down the steps and back to the limo. He tells the chauffeur, "You can have your photograph back, Jenkins."
Robin comes home with groceries. He asks Pluthero how he feels. Pluthero ignores him and tells the chauffeur to take him to Thames Television, Euston Road.
Pluthero says, "You keep your ear to the ground, Jenkins. You know who's on the way up, and who's on the way out." Jenkins puts up the glass divider. Jenkins is played by Bill Sawyer, who has only six credits on IMDB, and he just doesn't look old enough to have done two shorts in 1929 and '30. He probably is the same Bill Sawyer who played a taxi driver and a lorry driver in other movies. He also has an uncredited role as a Puritan in the Hammer horror Twins of Evil.
Celebratory drinks: At the Ropers' later, Mildred is happy. Today is going to be on at six o'clock. She gets the sherry out.
In the kitchen upstairs, Chrissy and Robin are having drinks to celebrate. The doorbell rings and Jo answers it. Mildred has come to invite them down for drinks, but Robin offers her a drink.
Downstairs though, Mr. Roper smoothes out the agreement. He says, "All that money." Upstairs, everyone is laughing and drinking. They believe that this shows that "ordinary men and women can do things." Ordinary man George Roper signs the agreement.
With the redesign of the entryway, we get the trio and Mildred going down the stairs and into the flat through one door, while George sneaks out the other door.
He has trouble starting his car. His wife sees him from the window. And then she sees his signed copy of the agreement.
Slightly goofy music plays as George drives off, with Mildred and the trio running outside, his wife yelling. They see the Thames Studio address mixed in with the agreement papers and Robin says, "This is where Pluthero's gone."
The four of them go over to Larry's car, with the keys left in it.
Jo: Should we ask him first?
Robin: Oh, I'm sure he won't mind.
They drive off, revealing that Larry was lying under the car. He cries, "Oi!"
Thames Television Studio: We see George pull up to the studio, parking next to Pluthero's Rolls. He gets out of his car.
In the lobby, a doorman is on the phone. George goes up to him, so he rings off. George says he's got to see a man, and the man's Rolls is outside. The doorman asks if he has a ticket. Since George doesn't, the doorman throws him out. George says he pays his (television) licence, which is probably a lie rather a parallel-universe truth.
Meanwhile, Pluthero is being made up. Sir Edmund comes in.
We next see George sneaking onto the studio lot on the back on a flat-bed lorry. He falls off holding a donkey piñata.
Larry's car pulls up and everyone gets out. Apparently parking is no problem in London.
Miss World: The doorman stops the four of them in the lobby. Robin claims to be a freaked-out hippie vicar who'll be interviewing Miss World. Chrissy says, "I'm interested in travel and meeting people. And religion." Direct Jo asks where they're filming the Today programme.
The doorman asks for their tickets. Mildred says she wants to catch her husband. But then she recognises the guard as Arthur Mulgrove! He recognises her as Mildred Asquith. The trio sneak out.
Oddly enough, he's not listed by name in the credits, just "Doorman." The actor, Norman Mitchell, was about 55 at the time of this movie and somehow had roles two years after his death in 2001. He often played policeman, as in the aforementioned Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell. He'd go on to four appearances on George & Mildred, although probably not as another of Mildred's exes.
As himself: Meanwhile, George encounters Spike Milligan as himself. Milligan acts completely mad, as usual. He was best known for the radio programme The Goon Show. When George tries to find Today, he riffs on that.
Back in the lobby, Arthur says he kept Mildred's photograph. She says she named her budgie for him. She would've replied to his letters, but he never wrote any. He says he didn't want his feelings going through the Army censor.
She says she took up with a butcher's boy.
Arthur: Did anything come of that?
Mildred: Nothing at all. I married him.
(This is consistent with MatH13, where George said he worked for a butcher when he was young.)
On the set of Today, the interviewer comes over. Sir Edmund hopes that it's This Is Your Life, but the large red book is the programme's script. Today was a real show, and Bill Grundy is playing himself, although credited as "Interviewer." He was suspended two years after this movie because of a profanity-filled interview with the Sex Pistols. The programme was cancelled two months later and his career was ruined. The interview with Pluthero and Weir will go a bit more smoothly.
Love Thy Neighbour: The trio meet Spike Milligan, Jo particularly amused by him.
Then George meets Jack Smethurst and Rudolph Walker, the stars of Love Thy Neighbour, a very popular sitcom about two families, one white, one black, living next door to each other. They're talking about who will win in the end, white or black, but they mean chess. When George uses LTN's slur for Walker's character, "nig-nog," Smethurst says, "Don't talk to my friend like that!" George says Smethurst does, on the telly. Walker says Smethurst gets paid for it. George says Walker is just as bad, calling Smethurst white honky and snowflake. After George leaves, Walker says, "I think I fancy a white lady," meaning the cocktail.
Meanwhile, the producer of Today scolds the camera man for acting like a "tit man" as he scans the crowd. The producer is played by Julian Orchard, who probably worked with a lot of tit men, since he did four Carry On movies. His P.A. (production assistant) is played by Berry Cornish, who has only three other screen credits, all of them sounding as minor as this non-speaking role. She should get the award for the most obscure performer in this movie, outdoing the secretary, the Boy Scout, and even the chauffeur.
Second Doorman: A second doorman stands outside the studio for Today. He's played by Michael Robbins, whose most significant role seems to have been as Arthur Rudge on 61 episodes of On the Buses. He asks George if he's invited. When George says yes, he lets him go in. Then he smokes.
Meanwhile, Sir Edmund says to Pluthero that he trusts Pluthero won't say a word about Hazel, Miss Lovett. "I wouldn't want the world to know I've been keeping a young lady in #5." The producer says, "No, you wouldn't, would you?"
The title card for Today has very '70s lettering, that "futuristic" style, a little like this:
Grundy says that they're going to devote the whole evening to the "Myddleton Terrace controversy."
The second doorman tells the trio that he's not allowed to let them in, presumably because filming has started. Then he says he's not allowed to smoke on duty either, or accept gratuities. Robin puts something in the doorman's pocket. He lets them in, then finds the tip is some kind of washer.
Poppet: George tries to signal to Pluthero. Grundy reads from a press cutting where Sir Edmund said that they'll fight them on the planning committees, on the local councils, and never surrender. (On MatH, Robin had already referenced the Churchill speech.) But Sir Edmund no longer stands by that statement. And when Grundy asks Pluthero if the development is socially necessary, he says no.
The trio see Roper, as Grundy tries to understand the switched positions of his guests. Mr. Roper sets the signed agreement on the table. The producer says, "Fred, be a poppet, and get him out, will you?" Mr. Roper is yanked away. Jo says, "He's got the agreement," meaning Pluthero.
Pluthero says that agreement was "arrived at by five of the householders, including--" Then Sir Edmund coughs. "But my superior, Mr. Spiros, who has given several children to dogs' charities, anonymously of course...." Spiros is watching in disgust on his very mod-looking television. Pluthero continues to misspeak, saying that Spiros is also anxious about his knighthood.
Pluthero accidentally tears up Roper's agreement. The trio gloat at Roper. Then Pluthero realises what he's done.
Compensation: A funeral dirge plays as the Spiros signs go down and into a lorry. Robin and Chrissy watch from the window. She says it's a lovely sight.
They turn around, Robin's arm around her as they step away from the window. He asks if she's ever played chess. She says her grandmother taught her.
Jo comes in wearing a blinding pink floral outfit. Robin says everyone is getting compensation. Jo says except for the Ropers. Chrissy says, "Oh, I don't know. I think Mrs. Roper might be getting some."
Downstairs, Mrs. Roper looks out the window. A cab pulls up. She wants George to get the luggage, but he says, "Stuff his luggage." Arthur is here, and he's going to be their lodger. She greets him in her pink dressing gown. She says, "Come inside. George is just dying to see you." He says, "You're looking lovely." George mockingly repeats this. Arthur-the-budgie says, "Thank you." George is surprised, since this seems to be the first time the budgie has ever said anything.
Back upstairs, Jo has left the room, and Chrissy now says she was thinking of another game, and she can't play chess after all. Robin takes out a set. We learn the value of the pieces. Pawn = pair of tights. Bishop = skirt. Queen = "well, we'll sort that out." He says the whole object of the game is to try to mate. He puts his arm around her. She looks amused, skeptical, and intrigued.
Closing: We see the exterior of the row of houses. A version of the theme song plays as the credits roll. The worst rhyme this time is "must rearrange things/ not to estrange him." And the singer asks the musical question, "With all the little things we shared and said/ Right from the start/ How can I tell him what's here in my heart?"
We learn that this movie was made at Elstree Studio, Hertfordshire, England, which I assume means the peculiar interiors, and not the shots of the Thames Studio and other London locations.
Friday, May 6, 2011
The Movie, Part Two
Getting it together: Chrissy is typing the petition. Robin pour drinks. He puts his arms around her. Soft music starts.
Robin: Can't you finish this later, when Jo gets back?
Chrissy: I thought the idea was to get on with it before she gets back.
Robin: Come on, let's stop messing about.
Chrissy: I second that.
He has her sit back and gets them the drinks.
Robin: You can't hold out forever.
Chrissy: What makes you think I have?
Robin: Oh, I don't.
Chrissy: Oh, don't you?
And then when he tries to say he does think she's held out, she says, "Oh, do you?"
She's says it's all right for him. Men can just turn it on. A girl needs time, coaxing, chatting up. He says he can't chat her up. "How can you chat up someone you care for? Someone you have a deep, emotional feeling for. How am I doing?"
Vinegar and chip fat: Meanwhile, in Larry's car....
Jo: Honestly, Larry, I really don't feel like it.
Larry: Oh, come on, Jo, you will enjoy it.
Jo: But I don't like pot.
He says it's nice here, the atmosphere. She says, "Yes, vinegar and chip fat."
He says he has a little confession to make: he was born a girl. Ever since the operation, he hasn't had a chance to find out if it works. So, "in the interest of medical science." She gives him "full marks for originality."
Jo: Has anyone ever told you you're terribly attractive, and have a wonderful way with women.
Larry: (flattered) No, no, they haven't.
Jo: (amused) Then where'd you get the idea from?
She wants him to take her home, and offers to make coffee there. He worries about his reputation. She says she won't tell anyone he didn't score. She'll even recommend him to her friends. He's flattered. She says that's a better technique, pathos.
She wants to drive the car because he's a mad driver. She's never driven a VW before, but "all cars are the same, aren't they?" So she backs the car into the lake. They have to crawl out of the car.
Frog spawn: Back at the flat, Robin and Chrissy are lying on the settee. He's kissing her neck.
She doesn't want to get carried away without talking. She says they've known each other some time now, and it's probably not going too far to say he fancies her. He admits it. She says it's OK, if he meant what he said about caring.
They're about to kiss, but he realises that she's putting the responsibility on him. So she has to say, "Don't you dare lay a finger on me or I'll scream." He says, "Oh, that's better," and they kiss.
The soft music breaks off as Jo and Larry enter, soaked and arguing. Robin says, "Bad timing, Larry, this is not the moment."
Chrissy gets off the settee. She says to get those wet clothes off, meaning Jo, not Larry. Jo says she has frog spawn in her bra. The girls leave the room.
Robin throws a pillow, twice, in frustration. He glares at Larry, who then apologises. Larry leaves. Robin hits the door with both fists.
Signatures: The next scene shows a Spiros sign has gone up at the end of the block. The men are putting up another. A towing lorry (or whatever they'd call it) brings Larry's car.
The trio emerge with copies of the petition. The girls sign. Robin has Larry sign.
Larry apologises to Robin and then Chrissy. She says it's all right because "it was him and me against me and I was losing." Larry tells Robin they can go blind together. Then he apologises to Jo.
Chrissy knocks at Larry's house. Mr. Gideon answers and Greek music plays. Mr. Pluthero is leaving. Mr. Gideon thanks him for the lovely record. Mr. Pluthero has his men put up another Spiros sign.
Larry: Oh, that's nice, isn't it? I have to find new digs now. Here, how about if I move in with you?
Robin: How about you jump back in the lake again?
The girls are going to be late for work. They'll get more signatures on their lunch hour.
Robin wonders about the lady in #4. Larry says that's Miss Bird and, if Robin's going in there alone, he'd better keep his legs crossed.
The milkman gives Robin Miss Bird's bottle, since he hasn't got time this morning. The postman gives Robin Miss Bird's post, since he's a married man.
Robin rings Miss Bird's bell and she yanks him in. The camera cuts to the postman, milkman, and Larry, the two nameless men putting their hats over their hearts, as if mourning Robin.
The milkman was played by Johnnie Briggs (usually spelled Johnny), who started appearing in movies back in '48, when he was about 12, and is still working more than 60 years later. He did four Carry On movies. The postman, Bill Pertwee, did three Carry Ons, but his most significant role seems to be A.R.P. Warden Hodges on 59 episodes of Dad's Army (1968 to 1977), which I'll return to shortly.
Miss Bird: Miss Bird is wearing a lacy pink nightdress. She says she thought Robin was the dustman. He says he's Robin Tripp from #6 and he wants her to sign a petition.
She tells him the rumours aren't true. People try to take advantage of her warm nature. She asks if he'd like to see what she does. She's a potter, of erotic soup bowls. She offers him one.
Miss Bird: I don't know if you're in favour of this permissive society.
Robin: Yes, but it shouldn't be compulsory.
She says that the needs of men and women are exactly the same. He says women can switch it on, but men need time, coaxing.
Robin: Would you prefer a pencil?
Miss Bird: No, I wouldn't.
She lowers her nightdress enough to reveal her back and shoulders to the camera. He escapes with the erotic bowl.
Miss Bird is played by Andria Lawrence, although she usually spelled it Andrea. Her credits are nearly all from the 1960s and '70s. She did at least two Hammer horrors, Countess Dracula (1971), as "Ziza, Shepherd's Inn Whore," and Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell (see above), as "Brassy girl." She also played "Nell Gwyn" in the 1969 miniseries The First Churchills. So it's fair to say she's typecast here.
As Robin leaves, a Boy Scout comes to the door, asking if there's any job he can do for her. She asks him to come back next year. He's played by Mark Rogers, whose acting career seems to have ended six years after this movie.
Larry is now polishing his car.
Larry: Did you get it then?
Robin: Bloody nearly.
He shows Larry the bowl.
Hanging and flogging: It's the girls' lunch hour and they're trying to get signatures. Outside a butcher's shop, Chrissy talks about the petition to save Edwardian houses on Myddleton Terrace, but the man she approaches is hard of hearing. He's credited as "Elderly Man" and played by Arthur Hewlett, then about 67. His first role was in 1950 and he kept on till 1994, three years before his death. He played a lot of religious characters, such as the Archbishop of Canterbury on Black Adder.
Jo approaches a woman who's leaving a florist's. The woman asks if it's anything to do with bringing back hanging and flogging. When Jo says no, she says, "Couldn't you add something?" Jo says that might confuse the issue. I think this is the character called "Tweedy Lady," since she's listed after "Elderly Man." If so, then she's Annie Leake, who was about 60 at the time of this movie and lived another 32 years. Ms. Leake seems to have started her screen career late, since her earliest credit is from 1961. Few of her television programmes crossed the Atlantic.
Don't know: An older bald man answers the phone in his office. He turns out to be Mr. Spiros, and he's played by Arthur Lowe, the star of Dad's Army. According to IMDB, that programme "alternated moments of gentle character comedy with broad slapstick," and his character was the pompous local bank manager turned captain. He was 58 or 59 at the time of this movie.
Spiros has a good-looking black secretary, played by Pauline Peart. She was about 22 at the time of this movie and, not only doesn't she have any lines here, but she doesn't seem to have had much of a screen career. Like so many of the others in this movie, she did a Hammer horror, in her case playing one of several "Vampire Girls" in 1973's The Satanic Rites of Dracula.
Mr. Pluthero is in the office and he keeps trying to talk to Mr. Spiros, but his boss is distracted by the phone. After Spiros hangs up, Pluthero says he wants to name the new development after himself. Spiros prefers Nelson House.
Pluthero: After the sea-faring gentleman?
Spiros: No, after my wife's basset hound.
We return to Chrissy, who's outside a market, talking to a black mother of two sons. The family is putting items into a baby carriage. The woman tells Chrissy to put her down as a "don't know." Chrissy says the woman doesn't know what the petition's about. The woman says, "That's what I just said, don't know." She must be "Housewife," so she's Corinne Skinner (later Corinne Skinner-Carter), who was then a couple years past the mid-point of her nearly fifty-year screen career. When she was about 70, she did 41 episodes of EastEnders.
Lucky Luke: At the flat that evening, Robin cooks in his naughty apron. The girls come in, talking about the signatures they got. Jo says she got two Adolf Hitlers.
Robin guilt-trips them for coming home at a quarter to 7. Instead of being offended, Jo says he's sweet and kisses his cheek. Chrissy, who's wearing a Lucky Luke jacket, says they'd better watch out, or he'll go home to mother.
When they sit at the kitchen table, Jo says they must be late, since the soup's gone cold. Robin exclaims, "It's supposed to be cold!"
They need only a couple more signatures to make 1000. Robin still needs to go to the home on the end, with the poodle. Jo says he hasn't been back to Miss Bird. He says there's no way he's going to. Jo starts to say that Miss Bird couldn't be that bad, and then she sees what's in her soup bowl.
22 years: Outside, presumably the next day, we see Mildred polishing the car. She thinks George brought tea out for her, but it's for himself.
He still wants to sell the house. She asks what good money is if you don't have your health. He says he has got it. She says, "You won't have, if you sell my house."
She says after 22 years of marriage, all they've got to show for it is the house. He says it's not his fault. He went to the clinic and they said it wasn't his fault. And he'd have liked to have had children.
Mildred: George, you can't hit the jackpot if you don't put the money in the machine.
George: I suppose you think Arthur Mulgrove could've done better.
He thinks she's been going on about Arthur. She says she's mentioned Arthur once in 22 years, and she wouldn't call that going on. She then says, "Yes, he could've done better, and, no, you're not gonna sell my house.
The trio emerge from the house. A Spiros sign goes up. They haven't seen Pluthero lately.
The girls go to Miss Bird's and see six milk bottles on the stoop. Pluthero emerges after Miss Bird and says it was a real pleasure. After he leaves, she tells the girls he's a wonderful man. They give up on her.
Robin goes to talk to the blonde with the poodle, Hazel Lovett. She's played by Aimi MacDonald, whose screen career ranges from 1965 to 2008. Her horror film (I don't think from Hammer) was Old Drac, the year after this movie.
Hazel hands Robin her dog as she signs. In her high-pitched voice, she says she doesn't own the house. It belongs to a gentleman friend.
Celebratory music plays as a Spiros sign goes up at Miss Bird's. Pluthero yawns, worn out from his night's work.
Jo says they need one more signature to make it to 1000. Chrissy says there must be someone they know who hasn't signed it yet. It turns out Robin hasn't. Mr. Roper calls him stupid and laughs.
Sir Edmund: Outside the local MP's office, we see signs that say "Sir Edmund Weir: Man of the People." Chrissy goes up the steps.
Inside, Sir Edmund strikes a pose like on his poster, with a V for Victory sign. He's played by Patrick Newell, who appeared in four Sherlock Holmes movies. He also did 22 episodes of The Avengers.
Chrissy comes in while he's posing. He stops. He says he's been in the House. The Prime Minister was speaking for over an hour.
Chrissy: What about?
Sir Edmund: He didn't say.
She says she's one of his constituents and she wants him to accept a petition to save six Edwardian houses from being pulled down for office blocks. She says he's the President of the Preserve London Society. He says, "My wife gets me involved with the most extraord--", then breaks off.
She says that 1000 people signed. When he hears "Myddleton Terrace," he's very surprised. He says they're charming row houses, and they can't be pulled down.
Saucebox: We cut to Hazel, carrying the poodle, answering her phone. Sir Edmund is on the other line. He calls her Darling, and himself Poopsie. We have to assume that Chrissy has left the office, although there are no shots to establish this.
Hazel asks if he's coming round tonight. He can't because it's his wife's birthday. Hazel has a new gymslip. According to Wikipedia, this is "a sleeveless tunic with a pleated skirt most commonly seen as part of a girl's school uniform," used for athletic wear. It seems to have a pornographic connotation, sort of like Catholic schoolgirl uniforms. It's given a twist here when Hazel adds that the gymslip is in his size. He says he'll stop by for just five minutes.
He says she should've told him about the proposed building development. She says she hasn't seen him for ages and he said never to ring him at home. He says he'll put a stop to the development.
Sir Edmund: They don't like publicity, these development boys.
Hazel: Why not? You do.
He says that's different. He doesn't want to be a back-bencher all his life. There's no harm in letting the public know the things you do. She says, "Not all the things you do," and giggles. He calls her a saucebox. Then he asks if the gymslip is green or navy blue.
Snigatures: Later, Mildred reads an article about Sir Edmund's speech condemning the development. George is clipping his nails. She tells him to not do it in the lounge. He'll have somebody's eye out. He suggests the kitchen, but she says she's got salad on the table. She calls him a pig.
Upstairs, Jo and Chrissy read aloud bits of articles about the development. Chrissy's has typos, like "snigatures." Robin says that must be The Guardian. (This newspaper was so well known for its typos in the days of hot-metal typesetting that its nickname was The Grauniad.)
Jo suggests that for their next move they occupy the building, in the '60s protest sense. Chrissy says they're already occupying it, since they've got a lease. Jo says that's so much the better, since it would be legal.
Meanwhile, Robin is looking at a Page Three girl, probably in The Sun tabloid.
He asks the girls if they fancy a game of something. They don't want cards, so he suggests Monopoly, but half the money's missing. He gets the box and says they could play for something else, meaning Strip Monopoly. However, Chrissy's granddad taught her to play and she always wins.
Sublet: Meanwhile, Pluthero visits Sir Edmund's office. Sir Edmund is cutting up the articles about his speech. Pluthero says Sir Edmund hasn't spoken out so much in years, not since the purchase tax on gymslips. Sir Edmund says he'll be speaking out on television tomorrow.
Pluthero points out that Sir Edmund owns one of the Myddleton Terrace properties, #5. Sir Edmund says it's good to have a house in your own constituency, but he seldom uses it. Miss Hazel Lovett occupies it. Pluthero asks if Miss Lovett is a friend of Sir Edmund, or perhaps of "your good lady wife." Sir Edmund shows the paper dolls he's been making.
Then we see another Spiros sign go up, with that triumphant music.
Silly: George tells Mildred that the developers got next door. They have all the houses except the Ropers' now. That gives the Ropers a strong bargaining position if they were selling, which they're not.
She's going into town to buy a see-through nightie. That way, if she ever dies a violent death, he'll stand a fair chance of recognising the body. After she leaves, he says to the budgie, "Silly bitch."
As she goes down the steps, Pluthero watches from his limo across the street. He goes over to the house when the coast is clear.
George says it's typical of women, they're selfish. Mildred has never given him anything but the budgie. Then when he calls the budgie Arthur, he suddenly realises why Mildred chose that name.
But before he can process this, the doorbell for the building rings. He lets in Pluthero, who says that since George's lady wife is out, they can talk man to man. George says he was expecting Pluthero, since this is the last house.
Pluthero says he dropped in to apologise about the inconvenience there'll be, with dust, noise, and possibly vermin. It may reduce the property value. George says he'll only sell the house for the same price as the others. Pluthero accepts this.
Then George tells him about the sitting tenants with a three-year lease. Pluthero says, "Are you suggesting I knock down the bottom half and leave an upper?" George says no but Pluthero can still buy the house. Pluthero asks which tenant signed the lease.
A small business matter: We cut to Chrissy walking down the street. Pluthero's red Rolls rolls up. He gets out and cheerfully greets her. He asks if she's off to lunch. He can give her a lift or even buy her lunch. She's suspicious but gets into his car. He says he'll pay for lunch just for the pleasure of her company. And there's a small business matter. She says she knows a very nice little restaurant.
We're about two-thirds in, 56 minutes. To be continued....
Robin: Can't you finish this later, when Jo gets back?
Chrissy: I thought the idea was to get on with it before she gets back.
Robin: Come on, let's stop messing about.
Chrissy: I second that.
He has her sit back and gets them the drinks.
Robin: You can't hold out forever.
Chrissy: What makes you think I have?
Robin: Oh, I don't.
Chrissy: Oh, don't you?
And then when he tries to say he does think she's held out, she says, "Oh, do you?"
She's says it's all right for him. Men can just turn it on. A girl needs time, coaxing, chatting up. He says he can't chat her up. "How can you chat up someone you care for? Someone you have a deep, emotional feeling for. How am I doing?"
Vinegar and chip fat: Meanwhile, in Larry's car....
Jo: Honestly, Larry, I really don't feel like it.
Larry: Oh, come on, Jo, you will enjoy it.
Jo: But I don't like pot.
He says it's nice here, the atmosphere. She says, "Yes, vinegar and chip fat."
He says he has a little confession to make: he was born a girl. Ever since the operation, he hasn't had a chance to find out if it works. So, "in the interest of medical science." She gives him "full marks for originality."
Jo: Has anyone ever told you you're terribly attractive, and have a wonderful way with women.
Larry: (flattered) No, no, they haven't.
Jo: (amused) Then where'd you get the idea from?
She wants him to take her home, and offers to make coffee there. He worries about his reputation. She says she won't tell anyone he didn't score. She'll even recommend him to her friends. He's flattered. She says that's a better technique, pathos.
She wants to drive the car because he's a mad driver. She's never driven a VW before, but "all cars are the same, aren't they?" So she backs the car into the lake. They have to crawl out of the car.
Frog spawn: Back at the flat, Robin and Chrissy are lying on the settee. He's kissing her neck.
She doesn't want to get carried away without talking. She says they've known each other some time now, and it's probably not going too far to say he fancies her. He admits it. She says it's OK, if he meant what he said about caring.
They're about to kiss, but he realises that she's putting the responsibility on him. So she has to say, "Don't you dare lay a finger on me or I'll scream." He says, "Oh, that's better," and they kiss.
The soft music breaks off as Jo and Larry enter, soaked and arguing. Robin says, "Bad timing, Larry, this is not the moment."
Chrissy gets off the settee. She says to get those wet clothes off, meaning Jo, not Larry. Jo says she has frog spawn in her bra. The girls leave the room.
Robin throws a pillow, twice, in frustration. He glares at Larry, who then apologises. Larry leaves. Robin hits the door with both fists.
Signatures: The next scene shows a Spiros sign has gone up at the end of the block. The men are putting up another. A towing lorry (or whatever they'd call it) brings Larry's car.
The trio emerge with copies of the petition. The girls sign. Robin has Larry sign.
Larry apologises to Robin and then Chrissy. She says it's all right because "it was him and me against me and I was losing." Larry tells Robin they can go blind together. Then he apologises to Jo.
Chrissy knocks at Larry's house. Mr. Gideon answers and Greek music plays. Mr. Pluthero is leaving. Mr. Gideon thanks him for the lovely record. Mr. Pluthero has his men put up another Spiros sign.
Larry: Oh, that's nice, isn't it? I have to find new digs now. Here, how about if I move in with you?
Robin: How about you jump back in the lake again?
The girls are going to be late for work. They'll get more signatures on their lunch hour.
Robin wonders about the lady in #4. Larry says that's Miss Bird and, if Robin's going in there alone, he'd better keep his legs crossed.
The milkman gives Robin Miss Bird's bottle, since he hasn't got time this morning. The postman gives Robin Miss Bird's post, since he's a married man.
Robin rings Miss Bird's bell and she yanks him in. The camera cuts to the postman, milkman, and Larry, the two nameless men putting their hats over their hearts, as if mourning Robin.
The milkman was played by Johnnie Briggs (usually spelled Johnny), who started appearing in movies back in '48, when he was about 12, and is still working more than 60 years later. He did four Carry On movies. The postman, Bill Pertwee, did three Carry Ons, but his most significant role seems to be A.R.P. Warden Hodges on 59 episodes of Dad's Army (1968 to 1977), which I'll return to shortly.
Miss Bird: Miss Bird is wearing a lacy pink nightdress. She says she thought Robin was the dustman. He says he's Robin Tripp from #6 and he wants her to sign a petition.
She tells him the rumours aren't true. People try to take advantage of her warm nature. She asks if he'd like to see what she does. She's a potter, of erotic soup bowls. She offers him one.
Miss Bird: I don't know if you're in favour of this permissive society.
Robin: Yes, but it shouldn't be compulsory.
She says that the needs of men and women are exactly the same. He says women can switch it on, but men need time, coaxing.
Robin: Would you prefer a pencil?
Miss Bird: No, I wouldn't.
She lowers her nightdress enough to reveal her back and shoulders to the camera. He escapes with the erotic bowl.
Miss Bird is played by Andria Lawrence, although she usually spelled it Andrea. Her credits are nearly all from the 1960s and '70s. She did at least two Hammer horrors, Countess Dracula (1971), as "Ziza, Shepherd's Inn Whore," and Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell (see above), as "Brassy girl." She also played "Nell Gwyn" in the 1969 miniseries The First Churchills. So it's fair to say she's typecast here.
As Robin leaves, a Boy Scout comes to the door, asking if there's any job he can do for her. She asks him to come back next year. He's played by Mark Rogers, whose acting career seems to have ended six years after this movie.
Larry is now polishing his car.
Larry: Did you get it then?
Robin: Bloody nearly.
He shows Larry the bowl.
Hanging and flogging: It's the girls' lunch hour and they're trying to get signatures. Outside a butcher's shop, Chrissy talks about the petition to save Edwardian houses on Myddleton Terrace, but the man she approaches is hard of hearing. He's credited as "Elderly Man" and played by Arthur Hewlett, then about 67. His first role was in 1950 and he kept on till 1994, three years before his death. He played a lot of religious characters, such as the Archbishop of Canterbury on Black Adder.
Jo approaches a woman who's leaving a florist's. The woman asks if it's anything to do with bringing back hanging and flogging. When Jo says no, she says, "Couldn't you add something?" Jo says that might confuse the issue. I think this is the character called "Tweedy Lady," since she's listed after "Elderly Man." If so, then she's Annie Leake, who was about 60 at the time of this movie and lived another 32 years. Ms. Leake seems to have started her screen career late, since her earliest credit is from 1961. Few of her television programmes crossed the Atlantic.
Don't know: An older bald man answers the phone in his office. He turns out to be Mr. Spiros, and he's played by Arthur Lowe, the star of Dad's Army. According to IMDB, that programme "alternated moments of gentle character comedy with broad slapstick," and his character was the pompous local bank manager turned captain. He was 58 or 59 at the time of this movie.
Spiros has a good-looking black secretary, played by Pauline Peart. She was about 22 at the time of this movie and, not only doesn't she have any lines here, but she doesn't seem to have had much of a screen career. Like so many of the others in this movie, she did a Hammer horror, in her case playing one of several "Vampire Girls" in 1973's The Satanic Rites of Dracula.
Mr. Pluthero is in the office and he keeps trying to talk to Mr. Spiros, but his boss is distracted by the phone. After Spiros hangs up, Pluthero says he wants to name the new development after himself. Spiros prefers Nelson House.
Pluthero: After the sea-faring gentleman?
Spiros: No, after my wife's basset hound.
We return to Chrissy, who's outside a market, talking to a black mother of two sons. The family is putting items into a baby carriage. The woman tells Chrissy to put her down as a "don't know." Chrissy says the woman doesn't know what the petition's about. The woman says, "That's what I just said, don't know." She must be "Housewife," so she's Corinne Skinner (later Corinne Skinner-Carter), who was then a couple years past the mid-point of her nearly fifty-year screen career. When she was about 70, she did 41 episodes of EastEnders.
Lucky Luke: At the flat that evening, Robin cooks in his naughty apron. The girls come in, talking about the signatures they got. Jo says she got two Adolf Hitlers.
Robin guilt-trips them for coming home at a quarter to 7. Instead of being offended, Jo says he's sweet and kisses his cheek. Chrissy, who's wearing a Lucky Luke jacket, says they'd better watch out, or he'll go home to mother.
When they sit at the kitchen table, Jo says they must be late, since the soup's gone cold. Robin exclaims, "It's supposed to be cold!"
They need only a couple more signatures to make 1000. Robin still needs to go to the home on the end, with the poodle. Jo says he hasn't been back to Miss Bird. He says there's no way he's going to. Jo starts to say that Miss Bird couldn't be that bad, and then she sees what's in her soup bowl.
22 years: Outside, presumably the next day, we see Mildred polishing the car. She thinks George brought tea out for her, but it's for himself.
He still wants to sell the house. She asks what good money is if you don't have your health. He says he has got it. She says, "You won't have, if you sell my house."
She says after 22 years of marriage, all they've got to show for it is the house. He says it's not his fault. He went to the clinic and they said it wasn't his fault. And he'd have liked to have had children.
Mildred: George, you can't hit the jackpot if you don't put the money in the machine.
George: I suppose you think Arthur Mulgrove could've done better.
He thinks she's been going on about Arthur. She says she's mentioned Arthur once in 22 years, and she wouldn't call that going on. She then says, "Yes, he could've done better, and, no, you're not gonna sell my house.
The trio emerge from the house. A Spiros sign goes up. They haven't seen Pluthero lately.
The girls go to Miss Bird's and see six milk bottles on the stoop. Pluthero emerges after Miss Bird and says it was a real pleasure. After he leaves, she tells the girls he's a wonderful man. They give up on her.
Robin goes to talk to the blonde with the poodle, Hazel Lovett. She's played by Aimi MacDonald, whose screen career ranges from 1965 to 2008. Her horror film (I don't think from Hammer) was Old Drac, the year after this movie.
Hazel hands Robin her dog as she signs. In her high-pitched voice, she says she doesn't own the house. It belongs to a gentleman friend.
Celebratory music plays as a Spiros sign goes up at Miss Bird's. Pluthero yawns, worn out from his night's work.
Jo says they need one more signature to make it to 1000. Chrissy says there must be someone they know who hasn't signed it yet. It turns out Robin hasn't. Mr. Roper calls him stupid and laughs.
Sir Edmund: Outside the local MP's office, we see signs that say "Sir Edmund Weir: Man of the People." Chrissy goes up the steps.
Inside, Sir Edmund strikes a pose like on his poster, with a V for Victory sign. He's played by Patrick Newell, who appeared in four Sherlock Holmes movies. He also did 22 episodes of The Avengers.
Chrissy comes in while he's posing. He stops. He says he's been in the House. The Prime Minister was speaking for over an hour.
Chrissy: What about?
Sir Edmund: He didn't say.
She says she's one of his constituents and she wants him to accept a petition to save six Edwardian houses from being pulled down for office blocks. She says he's the President of the Preserve London Society. He says, "My wife gets me involved with the most extraord--", then breaks off.
She says that 1000 people signed. When he hears "Myddleton Terrace," he's very surprised. He says they're charming row houses, and they can't be pulled down.
Saucebox: We cut to Hazel, carrying the poodle, answering her phone. Sir Edmund is on the other line. He calls her Darling, and himself Poopsie. We have to assume that Chrissy has left the office, although there are no shots to establish this.
Hazel asks if he's coming round tonight. He can't because it's his wife's birthday. Hazel has a new gymslip. According to Wikipedia, this is "a sleeveless tunic with a pleated skirt most commonly seen as part of a girl's school uniform," used for athletic wear. It seems to have a pornographic connotation, sort of like Catholic schoolgirl uniforms. It's given a twist here when Hazel adds that the gymslip is in his size. He says he'll stop by for just five minutes.
He says she should've told him about the proposed building development. She says she hasn't seen him for ages and he said never to ring him at home. He says he'll put a stop to the development.
Sir Edmund: They don't like publicity, these development boys.
Hazel: Why not? You do.
He says that's different. He doesn't want to be a back-bencher all his life. There's no harm in letting the public know the things you do. She says, "Not all the things you do," and giggles. He calls her a saucebox. Then he asks if the gymslip is green or navy blue.
Snigatures: Later, Mildred reads an article about Sir Edmund's speech condemning the development. George is clipping his nails. She tells him to not do it in the lounge. He'll have somebody's eye out. He suggests the kitchen, but she says she's got salad on the table. She calls him a pig.
Upstairs, Jo and Chrissy read aloud bits of articles about the development. Chrissy's has typos, like "snigatures." Robin says that must be The Guardian. (This newspaper was so well known for its typos in the days of hot-metal typesetting that its nickname was The Grauniad.)
Jo suggests that for their next move they occupy the building, in the '60s protest sense. Chrissy says they're already occupying it, since they've got a lease. Jo says that's so much the better, since it would be legal.
Meanwhile, Robin is looking at a Page Three girl, probably in The Sun tabloid.
He asks the girls if they fancy a game of something. They don't want cards, so he suggests Monopoly, but half the money's missing. He gets the box and says they could play for something else, meaning Strip Monopoly. However, Chrissy's granddad taught her to play and she always wins.
Sublet: Meanwhile, Pluthero visits Sir Edmund's office. Sir Edmund is cutting up the articles about his speech. Pluthero says Sir Edmund hasn't spoken out so much in years, not since the purchase tax on gymslips. Sir Edmund says he'll be speaking out on television tomorrow.
Pluthero points out that Sir Edmund owns one of the Myddleton Terrace properties, #5. Sir Edmund says it's good to have a house in your own constituency, but he seldom uses it. Miss Hazel Lovett occupies it. Pluthero asks if Miss Lovett is a friend of Sir Edmund, or perhaps of "your good lady wife." Sir Edmund shows the paper dolls he's been making.
Then we see another Spiros sign go up, with that triumphant music.
Silly: George tells Mildred that the developers got next door. They have all the houses except the Ropers' now. That gives the Ropers a strong bargaining position if they were selling, which they're not.
She's going into town to buy a see-through nightie. That way, if she ever dies a violent death, he'll stand a fair chance of recognising the body. After she leaves, he says to the budgie, "Silly bitch."
As she goes down the steps, Pluthero watches from his limo across the street. He goes over to the house when the coast is clear.
George says it's typical of women, they're selfish. Mildred has never given him anything but the budgie. Then when he calls the budgie Arthur, he suddenly realises why Mildred chose that name.
But before he can process this, the doorbell for the building rings. He lets in Pluthero, who says that since George's lady wife is out, they can talk man to man. George says he was expecting Pluthero, since this is the last house.
Pluthero says he dropped in to apologise about the inconvenience there'll be, with dust, noise, and possibly vermin. It may reduce the property value. George says he'll only sell the house for the same price as the others. Pluthero accepts this.
Then George tells him about the sitting tenants with a three-year lease. Pluthero says, "Are you suggesting I knock down the bottom half and leave an upper?" George says no but Pluthero can still buy the house. Pluthero asks which tenant signed the lease.
A small business matter: We cut to Chrissy walking down the street. Pluthero's red Rolls rolls up. He gets out and cheerfully greets her. He asks if she's off to lunch. He can give her a lift or even buy her lunch. She's suspicious but gets into his car. He says he'll pay for lunch just for the pleasure of her company. And there's a small business matter. She says she knows a very nice little restaurant.
We're about two-thirds in, 56 minutes. To be continued....
Thursday, May 5, 2011
The Movie, Part One
Man about the House (the movie) was released on 22 December 1974, so it falls between the third and fourth series, but it feels somehow earlier, later, and parallel-universe.
Credits: Against a red background, we see unflattering drawings of the main cast, like Chrissy looking like Stockard Channing on a bad day, and Jo with horsy teeth rather than a cute overbite. Meanwhile, a drippy female singer apparently adopts Chrissy's POV, telling us, "It's not easy when he's always been a man about the house," when she has feelings for him. He's "so close to home and yet so far away," and "love was on my doorstep all the while." It's a Hammer production and so far looks like a horror of a different sort.
The drawing of row houses fades to a real shot of row houses, on Myddleton [sic] Terrace NW8.
Three's a crowd: Then the camera pans across a garishly coloured lounge, with purple wallpaper, and orange and red highlights. We hear voices offscreen and learn that Jo and perhaps her flatmates are in the bath. Jo says, "I wish you two would get out." Chrissy says there's not enough room for the three of them.
Unlike on the television programme, the kitchen is to the right of the screen, with the bathroom to the right of that. It turns out that Robin and Chrissy are sharing the mirror, with Jo by herself in the tub, with bubbles.
Chrissy goes in the kitchen. Jo tells Robin she can't get out of the bath till he goes. He's shaving but he says he'll shut his eyes.
She grabs a towel and wraps it around herself. She says they must get the lock fixed. He says that would take the suspense out of taking a bath. He dries his hands on her towel till she objects. He offers to dry her off.
He goes in the kitchen. He's annoyed that Chrissy keeps cooking eggs. It's actually Jo's turn to cook but she burnt the bacon and sausages. Chrissy points out that he likes cooking and they don't. He says it's part of the female's function to provide food. She says it wasn't the rooster who laid the eggs.
He says he's not a male chauvinist. She says she thinks he is.
Robin: What do you know about it? You're only a woman.
Chrissy: Honestly, I'd have nothing to do with men if they weren't the opposite sex.
Jo enters in a white dressing gown.
Robin says he'll take the bolt from their bedroom door and put it on the bathroom door.
The Ropers: We go outside to where Larry's pulling up in his yellow VW. He's going to give Robin and Chrissy a lift. Mrs. Roper, wearing a frilly pink nightdress, is getting the milk from the doorstep. He blows her a kiss. She, Robin, and Chrissy exchange good mornings in the entryway.
The Ropers' flat is on the left side of the screen, rather than the right. It looks different inside, too. She says, "George, those cigarettes are gonna be the death of you." One thing hasn't changed, and they bicker.
Wonderbug: It's Jo's day off, which is why Larry isn't driving her anywhere. He puts his hand on Chrissy's knee to shift into second, but it's unclear if he's being fresh or if this is just part of his bad driving. We get several shots of a sight familiar to any student of 1970s lightweight film: a VW being driven crazily down the street.
Robin says, "It's no good closing your eyes." You can do the punch line here, that he's not talking to Chrissy.
Robin suggests Larry drop them off and they'll walk. Chrissy says it's safer in the car, since he can't knock them over.
We learn that Robin has a part-time job as a chef. He says they're looking for a waiter and Larry should apply.
Larry even drives on the sidewalk!
He drops Chrissy off at Maida Vale Station, which is an Underground stop in "inner northwest London." The area has many Victorian and Edwardian houses.
Robin gets in the front seat and the men continue on their way. Robin looks worn out, so Larry says, "If I shared a flat with two birds, I wouldn't get out of bed either." Robin says the girls have put a new lock on their bedroom door, and now he can't get out of the room.
Larry drops him off at the technical college.
First priority: Robin's instructor has a bow tie and glasses. I think he's the one listed as "lecturer" in the credits, which means he's played by Aubrey Morris, who has screen appearances covering half a century, among them, Blood Beast from Outer Space (1965), If It's Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium (1969), A Clockwork Orange (1971), Space: 1999 (1975), and two cameos on Murder She Wrote. He often plays professors and the like.
Here, Robin is his only male student. We learn that Robin lives only five minutes away but he's always late. The lecturer asks him the first priority of the kitchen. Robin says it must remain spotless.
Daffodil: As Robin continues in voiceover, we switch to a very messy kitchen, with an equally filthy chef. The chef is unnamed but the actor Bill Maynard has credits ranging from 1957 to 2003, mostly notably as "Selwyn Froggitt" on two separate programmes, although my favourite credit of his is "Guy Fawkes" in Carry on Henry VIII. When Robin tries to talk hygiene, the chef says you can't "tart about when you have to prepare 60 meals a day. I can't hardly pick my nose as it is." ("Tart about" just means to mess around in a non-sexual way. "Screw around" in its platonic sense would be an American equivalent.)
The chef is cooking as he smokes.
Larry comes in as a waiter and gives an order verbally to the chef. The chef makes chocolate ice cream out of vanilla by saying Abracadabra and then suggesting they cover it in curry powder.
While the chef is out of the room, Robin asks Larry, "How can anyone create classical cuisine in here?"
When the chef comes back, he tells them about Daffodil having her bottom scraped. But Daffodil is a boat he worked on. He took two nurses on it because they fancied a bit of the rough. You have to be subtle with nurses, so he had them play strip poker.
Robin suggests garlic salt in the batter. The chef asks if he's a poof.
Spiros: Chrissy is sitting upstairs on a double-decker. Robin comes up and sits next to her. He talks about work a bit. They pass an "Acquired by Spiros" sign and she speaks out against developers. He keeps hinting about cards.
Then we switch to their street, where there's a surveyor, and a man looking at a map. This man is much later revealed to be Morris Pluthero, and he's played by Peter Cellier. His first screen appearance was back in 1955 and he's still working today, at the age of 82 or 83. So of course he did Dr. Who, in 1982.
As Robin and Chrissy walk along, he says he's not going on about cards. But he's pleased to hear she bought new underwear. Pluthero bids them good afternoon but they don't know who he is yet.
Duty: At the Ropers', he's looking at a letter with an embossed letterhead, from Spiros. She doesn't want to sell their house but he does. They could get full market value.
She says that's always been his trouble, greed. She talks about their wedding reception, showing him a picture of their wedding day. It was time to cut the cake, and he was "round the boozer, collecting the empties." (This is "boozer" in the sense of the bar, rather than a person.)
He says he did his duty on their honeymoon. She scoffs.
He was recently talking to Hazel, the blonde next door, the one with the poodle. Everyone on the block got letters. Mildred is jealous, but George says he only knows her because "she nipped me once or twice in the ankle." Insert line about meaning the poodle, not Hazel.
Mildred is going to phone around. She thinks it's time they had a meeting of the Residents Association.
We're just following ancient history: Robin and Chrissy are watching the telly, what turns out to be a wolfman movie. Robin snuggles up against her.
Chrissy: Look, I haven't time to mess about. Are you after my body?
Robin: Of course.
Chrissy: Sorry. It's already booked to do the washing up.
Soft music plays as he pours himself a drink and smokes while she's out of the room. He sets down his cigarette and drink. He gets a deck of cards.
He puts on a Snoopy jumper and then a blue jacket. He goes in the kitchen and asks where Jo is. Chrissy says Jo is in the bathroom.
He goes right in without knocking.
Jo: I might've been stark naked.
Robin: Not with my luck.
He says he and Chrissy are going to play strip poker.
Robin: We need a third but she said you're too prudish.
Jo: What?
Then he returns to the kitchen and tells Chrissy that he and Jo are going to play strip poker.
Robin: She says you won't play because you're too prudish.
Chrissy: She's right.
Robin: She is?
Disappointed, he goes back to the lounge. Then Jo comes into the kitchen, and the girls figure out the trick he was trying to play on them.
They clear off the kitchen table as he takes off the blue jacket and starts to take off Snoopy. Chrissy yells, "We're ready when you are." He quickly puts those clothes back on and goes into the kitchen.
He asks how you play strip poker. Jo says she supposes you play with clothes instead of money.
Chrissy: Should I, whatchamacallit, hand the cards out?
Robin: (smiling) Yes, deal, that's the word.
Then she shuffles like a pro. It turns out her dad taught her to play poker.
Jo passes and then goes out. A sock turns out to equal half a tight. He bids another sock, so she bids a skirt. He says, "I'll raise your skirt with my trousers."
Arthur Mulgrove: Downstairs, the wolfman movie ends.
Mildred: You know, George? That wolfman was the spitting image of an army sergeant I used to go around with.
George: What? All hairy and that?
Mildred: No, when he was normal.
The sergeant's name was Arthur Mulgrove. She nearly married him, but he didn't ask her. George says he sounds like a sensible sort of fellow.
She says that when the Wolfman ripped the blouse off the helpless maiden, it sent shivers right down her spine. That these were pleasant shivers is clear when she asks seductively, "Coming to bed, George?" But he's going to make a sandwich and then tell the trio about the meeting tomorrow night.
After he leaves the room, she says, "Arthur Mulgrove," and shivers happily.
Pairs: Back upstairs, Robin, who's now topless, says that Chrissy's father must've been a bloody good poker player.
He opens with his underpants. Jo says he hasn't much choice. Chrissy bids a shoe. When he says this is too low, she bets two shoes. Jo goes out, as she's apparently done every time.
Robin wants to put on one piece of his discarded clothing, but Chrissy won't let him. She has a full house, 10s and 2s. He has four jacks. She takes off her platforms. He thinks his luck has changed now.
Jo passes. Robin again opens with his underpants. Chrissy bets a blouse. Jo goes out.
Robin: Well, I've got a pair.
Chrissy: Let's have a look at them then.
Robin: What do you mean?
Chrissy: I've got a pair, too.
He's got two queens but she's got two aces. Jo wants him to pay up. Chrissy says, "It's of no interest to me. I was brought up on a farm." Jo giggles as she says, "I've never seen anyone blush over such a large area."
Robin takes his underpants off and sets them on the table with the other clothes.
The doorbell rings. The girls smile and want him to answer it. He's says he's starkers.
Jo: I won't look.
Chrissy: I will! He would've done if it was one of us.
Jo: You're right. I will look.
He hands Chrissy the deck of cards. Then he yanks the tablecloth off the table and wears it wrapped around his lower half. Spanish music plays and he says, "Olé!"
After he leaves the room, Jo says he cheated. Chrissy says he's not the only one, and she reveals that the deck contains five black aces.
In the hallway, Mr. Roper is surprised to see Robin in a tablecloth. Robin says the curtain is at the dry cleaner's. Mr. Roper tells him about the Residents Association meeting.
The Meeting: Then we get one of the longest scenes in the movie, with more of the cast gathered in one spot than at any other point. I'll note that two of the residents, Miss Bird and Hazel, are there, the latter with her poodle, but I won't talk about them until they have lines. Also, I'll break this scene up into parts for easier digestion.
We're in a pub, but it's not the Mucky Duck or the White Swan. Mrs. Roper is sitting at a rectangular table on one side of the room. She has outdone herself sartorially, wearing a leopard coat over her red & white outfit. She says they need volunteers.
Robin stands up, but he volunteers Chrissy. They're both wearing lots of denim.
Larry's landlord, Mr. Gideon, is there, not played by John Carlin but by Michael Ward. Mr. Ward was then 65, with credits going back to 1947. He actually did a Jack Benny episode, but his roles were mostly in British movies, many with fantastic titles, such as Maniacs on Wheels, High Jinks in Society, The Galloping Major, Whispering Smith Investigates, Finger of Guilt, Carry on Regardless, Ouch!, and Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell. That last movie is of particular note, one, because it was the last Hammer Frankenstein movie, and two, he plays "Transvest." In this, his other 1974 film, he plays Mr. Gideon as much more overtly gay than the television version.
He says the natural leaders need to step forward. His boyfriend, Nigel, stands up but Mr. Gideon means himself. Nigel is played by Melvyn Hayes, then 39, although the character seems to be meant to be in his 20s. Mr. Hayes's first credit is from 1954 and he's still working to this day, mostly on television. He did a Hammer Frankenstein movie, too, playing "Young Victor" in 1957's The Curse of Frankenstein, with Peter Cushing as the older Victor. He also played "bad boys" in adaptations of classic literature, such as Dan in Jo's Boys (1959) and the Artful Dodger in a 1962 version of Oliver Twist. He probably looked younger than his age for a long time.
Mrs. Roper wants Chrissy to start them all off. So Chrissy puts Robin on the spot, but he stammers.
Chrissy: What you're trying to say is this community can not survive, unless we all join together and fight this scheme.
Robin: Yes.
Chrissy: And we ought to do something positive.
Robin: Oh, absolutely.
Chrissy: Like what?
Robin: Eh? Well, like, erm.
Chrissy: Perhaps you think we ought to organise a petition to our MP.
Robin: Yes, that's exactly what I was thinking of.
The towels go off the bar, which I thinks means that it's now late enough to serve alcohol. (Remember how in No Children, No Dogs it was supposed to be too late to serve it?) The meeting understandably breaks up. Mrs. Roper says, "So much for community spirit." We go to a dissolve.
The Greeks had a word for it: When we return, Mr. Pluthero is buying drinks for the gay couple. Mr. Gideon gets an ouzo & soda, while Nigel gets Retsina with a cherry.
Chrissy says they need a carefully worded petition about houses being pulled down for office blocks. "You can do anything in London except live. London needs houses, not great concrete blocks." Robin goes to the bar to get her a tomato juice, Jo a lager.
George doesn't see the point of a petition. Mildred reiterates that no one is going to sell their houses.
Mr. Gideon talks about a little bar near the Acropolis. Nigel says, "He's bonkers about the Ancient Greeks." Mr. Pluthero says it was a marvelous civilisation, where the friendship of an older man for a lad was not misunderstood.
Mr. Gideon thinks Nigel looks like Apollo. If you put Michelangelo's Apollo on a motorbike, that would be Nigel to a tee. Mr. Pluthero asks Nigel is he likes the bouzouki (a Greek lute). Nigel says, "Nah, I prefer the Yamaha Superbike."
Mr. Pluthero says property is so cheap in Greece, hinting at what they could buy if they sold their house. Then he says they don't want to spoil the social evening by talking about business.
Blind: The Ropers and the trio are now sitting at a table, as Mr. Roper tells war stories. He says that Hitler did his best trying to knock these houses down during the war. Those were good days then, because a man had to do his duty. His wife says that "duty" is one of his favourite words. He was an ARP (Air Raid Precautions) warden then.
Robin excuses himself to go talk with Larry. It's been two months for Larry and he's going to go blind. Any guesses on what he's talking about, wink wink? He's been thinking about asking Jo if she fancies coming for a drive.
Mr. Roper says they used to put stuff in the tea, to keep their minds on the job, probably talking about saltpetre. His wife says, "Off the job, George."
Jo excuses herself from the table. Mr. Roper asks Chrissy if she remembers ration books, but she of course doesn't.
Jo goes over to Robin and Larry. The latter asks her if she has any plans for the rest of the evening.
Mr. Roper is now talking about the food during the war. He says they used to get a bit of meat about that long, showing with his hands. His wife says, "That's what I used to get, George."
Chrissy excuses herself from the table. Mildred says, "Well, George, I think that's a new record. You bored three people in two minutes."
Larry is telling Jo, "Just for a drive, mind you. Fresh air." He puts his arm around her when they walk away from Robin and Chrissy.
Robin tells Chrissy that this gives the two of them a chance to go back to the flat and get it together. He claims he's talking about the petition.
This puts us roughly one-third into the movie, 29 minutes of the 85. To be continued....
Credits: Against a red background, we see unflattering drawings of the main cast, like Chrissy looking like Stockard Channing on a bad day, and Jo with horsy teeth rather than a cute overbite. Meanwhile, a drippy female singer apparently adopts Chrissy's POV, telling us, "It's not easy when he's always been a man about the house," when she has feelings for him. He's "so close to home and yet so far away," and "love was on my doorstep all the while." It's a Hammer production and so far looks like a horror of a different sort.
The drawing of row houses fades to a real shot of row houses, on Myddleton [sic] Terrace NW8.
Three's a crowd: Then the camera pans across a garishly coloured lounge, with purple wallpaper, and orange and red highlights. We hear voices offscreen and learn that Jo and perhaps her flatmates are in the bath. Jo says, "I wish you two would get out." Chrissy says there's not enough room for the three of them.
Unlike on the television programme, the kitchen is to the right of the screen, with the bathroom to the right of that. It turns out that Robin and Chrissy are sharing the mirror, with Jo by herself in the tub, with bubbles.
Chrissy goes in the kitchen. Jo tells Robin she can't get out of the bath till he goes. He's shaving but he says he'll shut his eyes.
She grabs a towel and wraps it around herself. She says they must get the lock fixed. He says that would take the suspense out of taking a bath. He dries his hands on her towel till she objects. He offers to dry her off.
He goes in the kitchen. He's annoyed that Chrissy keeps cooking eggs. It's actually Jo's turn to cook but she burnt the bacon and sausages. Chrissy points out that he likes cooking and they don't. He says it's part of the female's function to provide food. She says it wasn't the rooster who laid the eggs.
He says he's not a male chauvinist. She says she thinks he is.
Robin: What do you know about it? You're only a woman.
Chrissy: Honestly, I'd have nothing to do with men if they weren't the opposite sex.
Jo enters in a white dressing gown.
Robin says he'll take the bolt from their bedroom door and put it on the bathroom door.
The Ropers: We go outside to where Larry's pulling up in his yellow VW. He's going to give Robin and Chrissy a lift. Mrs. Roper, wearing a frilly pink nightdress, is getting the milk from the doorstep. He blows her a kiss. She, Robin, and Chrissy exchange good mornings in the entryway.
The Ropers' flat is on the left side of the screen, rather than the right. It looks different inside, too. She says, "George, those cigarettes are gonna be the death of you." One thing hasn't changed, and they bicker.
Wonderbug: It's Jo's day off, which is why Larry isn't driving her anywhere. He puts his hand on Chrissy's knee to shift into second, but it's unclear if he's being fresh or if this is just part of his bad driving. We get several shots of a sight familiar to any student of 1970s lightweight film: a VW being driven crazily down the street.
Robin says, "It's no good closing your eyes." You can do the punch line here, that he's not talking to Chrissy.
Robin suggests Larry drop them off and they'll walk. Chrissy says it's safer in the car, since he can't knock them over.
We learn that Robin has a part-time job as a chef. He says they're looking for a waiter and Larry should apply.
Larry even drives on the sidewalk!
He drops Chrissy off at Maida Vale Station, which is an Underground stop in "inner northwest London." The area has many Victorian and Edwardian houses.
Robin gets in the front seat and the men continue on their way. Robin looks worn out, so Larry says, "If I shared a flat with two birds, I wouldn't get out of bed either." Robin says the girls have put a new lock on their bedroom door, and now he can't get out of the room.
Larry drops him off at the technical college.
First priority: Robin's instructor has a bow tie and glasses. I think he's the one listed as "lecturer" in the credits, which means he's played by Aubrey Morris, who has screen appearances covering half a century, among them, Blood Beast from Outer Space (1965), If It's Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium (1969), A Clockwork Orange (1971), Space: 1999 (1975), and two cameos on Murder She Wrote. He often plays professors and the like.
Here, Robin is his only male student. We learn that Robin lives only five minutes away but he's always late. The lecturer asks him the first priority of the kitchen. Robin says it must remain spotless.
Daffodil: As Robin continues in voiceover, we switch to a very messy kitchen, with an equally filthy chef. The chef is unnamed but the actor Bill Maynard has credits ranging from 1957 to 2003, mostly notably as "Selwyn Froggitt" on two separate programmes, although my favourite credit of his is "Guy Fawkes" in Carry on Henry VIII. When Robin tries to talk hygiene, the chef says you can't "tart about when you have to prepare 60 meals a day. I can't hardly pick my nose as it is." ("Tart about" just means to mess around in a non-sexual way. "Screw around" in its platonic sense would be an American equivalent.)
The chef is cooking as he smokes.
Larry comes in as a waiter and gives an order verbally to the chef. The chef makes chocolate ice cream out of vanilla by saying Abracadabra and then suggesting they cover it in curry powder.
While the chef is out of the room, Robin asks Larry, "How can anyone create classical cuisine in here?"
When the chef comes back, he tells them about Daffodil having her bottom scraped. But Daffodil is a boat he worked on. He took two nurses on it because they fancied a bit of the rough. You have to be subtle with nurses, so he had them play strip poker.
Robin suggests garlic salt in the batter. The chef asks if he's a poof.
Spiros: Chrissy is sitting upstairs on a double-decker. Robin comes up and sits next to her. He talks about work a bit. They pass an "Acquired by Spiros" sign and she speaks out against developers. He keeps hinting about cards.
Then we switch to their street, where there's a surveyor, and a man looking at a map. This man is much later revealed to be Morris Pluthero, and he's played by Peter Cellier. His first screen appearance was back in 1955 and he's still working today, at the age of 82 or 83. So of course he did Dr. Who, in 1982.
As Robin and Chrissy walk along, he says he's not going on about cards. But he's pleased to hear she bought new underwear. Pluthero bids them good afternoon but they don't know who he is yet.
Duty: At the Ropers', he's looking at a letter with an embossed letterhead, from Spiros. She doesn't want to sell their house but he does. They could get full market value.
She says that's always been his trouble, greed. She talks about their wedding reception, showing him a picture of their wedding day. It was time to cut the cake, and he was "round the boozer, collecting the empties." (This is "boozer" in the sense of the bar, rather than a person.)
He says he did his duty on their honeymoon. She scoffs.
He was recently talking to Hazel, the blonde next door, the one with the poodle. Everyone on the block got letters. Mildred is jealous, but George says he only knows her because "she nipped me once or twice in the ankle." Insert line about meaning the poodle, not Hazel.
Mildred is going to phone around. She thinks it's time they had a meeting of the Residents Association.
We're just following ancient history: Robin and Chrissy are watching the telly, what turns out to be a wolfman movie. Robin snuggles up against her.
Chrissy: Look, I haven't time to mess about. Are you after my body?
Robin: Of course.
Chrissy: Sorry. It's already booked to do the washing up.
Soft music plays as he pours himself a drink and smokes while she's out of the room. He sets down his cigarette and drink. He gets a deck of cards.
He puts on a Snoopy jumper and then a blue jacket. He goes in the kitchen and asks where Jo is. Chrissy says Jo is in the bathroom.
He goes right in without knocking.
Jo: I might've been stark naked.
Robin: Not with my luck.
He says he and Chrissy are going to play strip poker.
Robin: We need a third but she said you're too prudish.
Jo: What?
Then he returns to the kitchen and tells Chrissy that he and Jo are going to play strip poker.
Robin: She says you won't play because you're too prudish.
Chrissy: She's right.
Robin: She is?
Disappointed, he goes back to the lounge. Then Jo comes into the kitchen, and the girls figure out the trick he was trying to play on them.
They clear off the kitchen table as he takes off the blue jacket and starts to take off Snoopy. Chrissy yells, "We're ready when you are." He quickly puts those clothes back on and goes into the kitchen.
He asks how you play strip poker. Jo says she supposes you play with clothes instead of money.
Chrissy: Should I, whatchamacallit, hand the cards out?
Robin: (smiling) Yes, deal, that's the word.
Then she shuffles like a pro. It turns out her dad taught her to play poker.
Jo passes and then goes out. A sock turns out to equal half a tight. He bids another sock, so she bids a skirt. He says, "I'll raise your skirt with my trousers."
Arthur Mulgrove: Downstairs, the wolfman movie ends.
Mildred: You know, George? That wolfman was the spitting image of an army sergeant I used to go around with.
George: What? All hairy and that?
Mildred: No, when he was normal.
The sergeant's name was Arthur Mulgrove. She nearly married him, but he didn't ask her. George says he sounds like a sensible sort of fellow.
She says that when the Wolfman ripped the blouse off the helpless maiden, it sent shivers right down her spine. That these were pleasant shivers is clear when she asks seductively, "Coming to bed, George?" But he's going to make a sandwich and then tell the trio about the meeting tomorrow night.
After he leaves the room, she says, "Arthur Mulgrove," and shivers happily.
Pairs: Back upstairs, Robin, who's now topless, says that Chrissy's father must've been a bloody good poker player.
He opens with his underpants. Jo says he hasn't much choice. Chrissy bids a shoe. When he says this is too low, she bets two shoes. Jo goes out, as she's apparently done every time.
Robin wants to put on one piece of his discarded clothing, but Chrissy won't let him. She has a full house, 10s and 2s. He has four jacks. She takes off her platforms. He thinks his luck has changed now.
Jo passes. Robin again opens with his underpants. Chrissy bets a blouse. Jo goes out.
Robin: Well, I've got a pair.
Chrissy: Let's have a look at them then.
Robin: What do you mean?
Chrissy: I've got a pair, too.
He's got two queens but she's got two aces. Jo wants him to pay up. Chrissy says, "It's of no interest to me. I was brought up on a farm." Jo giggles as she says, "I've never seen anyone blush over such a large area."
Robin takes his underpants off and sets them on the table with the other clothes.
The doorbell rings. The girls smile and want him to answer it. He's says he's starkers.
Jo: I won't look.
Chrissy: I will! He would've done if it was one of us.
Jo: You're right. I will look.
He hands Chrissy the deck of cards. Then he yanks the tablecloth off the table and wears it wrapped around his lower half. Spanish music plays and he says, "Olé!"
After he leaves the room, Jo says he cheated. Chrissy says he's not the only one, and she reveals that the deck contains five black aces.
In the hallway, Mr. Roper is surprised to see Robin in a tablecloth. Robin says the curtain is at the dry cleaner's. Mr. Roper tells him about the Residents Association meeting.
The Meeting: Then we get one of the longest scenes in the movie, with more of the cast gathered in one spot than at any other point. I'll note that two of the residents, Miss Bird and Hazel, are there, the latter with her poodle, but I won't talk about them until they have lines. Also, I'll break this scene up into parts for easier digestion.
We're in a pub, but it's not the Mucky Duck or the White Swan. Mrs. Roper is sitting at a rectangular table on one side of the room. She has outdone herself sartorially, wearing a leopard coat over her red & white outfit. She says they need volunteers.
Robin stands up, but he volunteers Chrissy. They're both wearing lots of denim.
Larry's landlord, Mr. Gideon, is there, not played by John Carlin but by Michael Ward. Mr. Ward was then 65, with credits going back to 1947. He actually did a Jack Benny episode, but his roles were mostly in British movies, many with fantastic titles, such as Maniacs on Wheels, High Jinks in Society, The Galloping Major, Whispering Smith Investigates, Finger of Guilt, Carry on Regardless, Ouch!, and Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell. That last movie is of particular note, one, because it was the last Hammer Frankenstein movie, and two, he plays "Transvest." In this, his other 1974 film, he plays Mr. Gideon as much more overtly gay than the television version.
He says the natural leaders need to step forward. His boyfriend, Nigel, stands up but Mr. Gideon means himself. Nigel is played by Melvyn Hayes, then 39, although the character seems to be meant to be in his 20s. Mr. Hayes's first credit is from 1954 and he's still working to this day, mostly on television. He did a Hammer Frankenstein movie, too, playing "Young Victor" in 1957's The Curse of Frankenstein, with Peter Cushing as the older Victor. He also played "bad boys" in adaptations of classic literature, such as Dan in Jo's Boys (1959) and the Artful Dodger in a 1962 version of Oliver Twist. He probably looked younger than his age for a long time.
Mrs. Roper wants Chrissy to start them all off. So Chrissy puts Robin on the spot, but he stammers.
Chrissy: What you're trying to say is this community can not survive, unless we all join together and fight this scheme.
Robin: Yes.
Chrissy: And we ought to do something positive.
Robin: Oh, absolutely.
Chrissy: Like what?
Robin: Eh? Well, like, erm.
Chrissy: Perhaps you think we ought to organise a petition to our MP.
Robin: Yes, that's exactly what I was thinking of.
The towels go off the bar, which I thinks means that it's now late enough to serve alcohol. (Remember how in No Children, No Dogs it was supposed to be too late to serve it?) The meeting understandably breaks up. Mrs. Roper says, "So much for community spirit." We go to a dissolve.
The Greeks had a word for it: When we return, Mr. Pluthero is buying drinks for the gay couple. Mr. Gideon gets an ouzo & soda, while Nigel gets Retsina with a cherry.
Chrissy says they need a carefully worded petition about houses being pulled down for office blocks. "You can do anything in London except live. London needs houses, not great concrete blocks." Robin goes to the bar to get her a tomato juice, Jo a lager.
George doesn't see the point of a petition. Mildred reiterates that no one is going to sell their houses.
Mr. Gideon talks about a little bar near the Acropolis. Nigel says, "He's bonkers about the Ancient Greeks." Mr. Pluthero says it was a marvelous civilisation, where the friendship of an older man for a lad was not misunderstood.
Mr. Gideon thinks Nigel looks like Apollo. If you put Michelangelo's Apollo on a motorbike, that would be Nigel to a tee. Mr. Pluthero asks Nigel is he likes the bouzouki (a Greek lute). Nigel says, "Nah, I prefer the Yamaha Superbike."
Mr. Pluthero says property is so cheap in Greece, hinting at what they could buy if they sold their house. Then he says they don't want to spoil the social evening by talking about business.
Blind: The Ropers and the trio are now sitting at a table, as Mr. Roper tells war stories. He says that Hitler did his best trying to knock these houses down during the war. Those were good days then, because a man had to do his duty. His wife says that "duty" is one of his favourite words. He was an ARP (Air Raid Precautions) warden then.
Robin excuses himself to go talk with Larry. It's been two months for Larry and he's going to go blind. Any guesses on what he's talking about, wink wink? He's been thinking about asking Jo if she fancies coming for a drive.
Mr. Roper says they used to put stuff in the tea, to keep their minds on the job, probably talking about saltpetre. His wife says, "Off the job, George."
Jo excuses herself from the table. Mr. Roper asks Chrissy if she remembers ration books, but she of course doesn't.
Jo goes over to Robin and Larry. The latter asks her if she has any plans for the rest of the evening.
Mr. Roper is now talking about the food during the war. He says they used to get a bit of meat about that long, showing with his hands. His wife says, "That's what I used to get, George."
Chrissy excuses herself from the table. Mildred says, "Well, George, I think that's a new record. You bored three people in two minutes."
Larry is telling Jo, "Just for a drive, mind you. Fresh air." He puts his arm around her when they walk away from Robin and Chrissy.
Robin tells Chrissy that this gives the two of them a chance to go back to the flat and get it together. He claims he's talking about the petition.
This puts us roughly one-third into the movie, 29 minutes of the 85. To be continued....
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