Making Whoopee: The episode opens with a close-up of a Cupid decoration on a wedding cake. Robin is singing a da-da-da-dee version of "Making Whoopee." The cake is three-tiered and very elaborate. Robin is wearing his naughty apron as he decorates. It's later revealed that he's wearing a T-shirt for the WSU Cougars. (Washington State U. Less likely than Larry at Oxford, but not impossible.)
He says, "Now for the finishing touch." He picks up bride and groom figurines and acts out a wedding ceremony, officiator included. As he sets them on the cake, he says, "Those whom the registrars have put together, let no cake knife put asunder."
Jo looks on with her hands on her hips.
Jo: Can I have a slice now please?
Robin: Certainly not. You can't have any till after the wedding.
Jo: (giggling) That's what my mum always told me to say.
She says that he's taking it very well about Chrissy and Norman. He says there are plenty more fish in the sea. As he goes to answer the doorbell, he adds, "I've given up girls. From now on, I'm going out with fish."
Chrissy and Norman are at the door. She says Norman bought the ring. Robin wants to see it, through Norman's nose.
Norman wants to rehearse Robin handing the ring to him. He doesn't want anything to go wrong. He hands the ring to Robin, who hands it back. Norman says that's perfect and Chrissy says it's very good. Feigning feigning modesty, Robin says, "Well, there wasn't a lot to it really."
Norman tells him to just do it like that tomorrow.
Norman: Remember, as best man, you're responsible for all the arrangements until we leave for the honeymoon. (He sits on the settee next to Chrissy.) After that, I can manage on my own.
Chrissy: Oh, can you now?
Norman: Well, it would help if you're around.
She giggles. He leans in for a kiss, but Robin breaks it up.
Robin sent the invitations by post two weeks ago. (So we know at least that much time has passed since Math38.) Chrissy says they should start arriving any day now, the last of the "slow post office" jokes on the show. He gave the Ropers' invitations to Mr. Roper.
The Grand Old Duke: Downstairs, Mr. Roper is looking at that invitation. When Mildred comes in with a cup of tea for him, he quickly hides the invitation under his jumper.
She says it's a big day tomorrow. He says yeah, it'll be the finals of the darts tournament at the British Legion. She's talking about the wedding. "Oh, you mean her upstairs? We're playing the Duke of Edinborough. Well, not him personally. His pub."
Mildred: I do think they might've invited us, George. I mean, if just for the, you know, the reception.
George: Well, maybe it's just the family, Mildred.
Mildred: Well, Mr. Simmonds from the top flat's going and he's not family.
George: Well, maybe it's family and people they like. I mean, they never liked us. Apart from you.
Mildred: You know, I enjoy weddings, George. I even enjoyed ours. Look how that turned out.
He says they won't have to fork out money on a present. She says she's already bought one, a pop-up toaster. Laughing, she says, "I'll pop up with it later." We cut to George looking surprised as he sips his tea.
Don't it make your blue eyes brown?: Robin shows Norman the cake, telling him all the ingredients, nothing but the best. Robin says it's his masterpiece. Norman says he hasn't got brown eyes. The groom figurine has brown. Robin sarcastically says, "Oh, well, scrap the whole thing then!" Norman says they can still use it. It's perfect, the finest wedding cake he's ever seen, apart from the brown eyes.
Day Tripper: Chrissy answers the doorbell. Robin's dad is there, carrying a flat package. They hug hello. He drove down a day early. Mrs. Tripp wants to look at the London shops, and it's cheaper if she does that on a Sunday.
Mr. Tripp: Hello, Jo.
Jo: Hello, Mr. Tripp. Did you have a good trip? (She winces.) Journey.
He says Mrs. Tripp only got sick in the car once. Luckily, the nodding dog got most of that. (I assume he's talking about a bobble-head dog or the like.)
His sons enter from the kitchen. He tells them that their mum is back at the hotel, practising her sobbing for the wedding.
He gives Chrissy the package and tells her it's an electric blanket.
Norman: Do you think we'll need it?
Mr. Tripp: Well, not for a week or two certainly. There'll come cold nights, you know, when you're not in the mood.
Chrissy: About 1990.
Mr. Tripp: (to Norman) (unintelligible) You've got a cracker here, eh, Laddie? (to Chrissy) You've not so bad, Love. Me and his mother are very, very proud of our Norman.
Chrissy: And your Robin.
Mr. Tripp: Robin? Well, he does his best.
Robin asks if his dad wants to see the cake he baked. His dad says not right now.
Robin: I said the cake I baked. I didn't say the dress I made for my dolly!
Mr. Tripp: You made a dress for your what?
Norman thinks their dad should see the cake because it's very good. Dad says, "Well, if you think so, Norman." He and Robin go in the kitchen. Jo says, "I didn't know he had a dolly."
Mr. Tripp puts on his reading glasses to look at the cake. Robin says it's his personal gift to Norman and Chrissy.
Mr. Tripp: Your mother makes a fair to middling sponge.
Robin: Well, I couldn't give them a fair to middling sponge as a wedding present, could I?
Mr. Tripp agrees and he says the cake is very good, except Norman hasn't got brown eyes. Robin is very annoyed.
Anything You Want: Jo asks what Norman and Chrissy are doing on their honeymoon, for the rest of the time. Norman is sitting on the settee. Chrissy is on its arm, and his hand is around her hips. He puts his other arm around her and asks, "What rest of the time?"
Mildred comes in without knocking. She says she "popped up" with the wedding present. Chrissy says, "A toaster, what a lovely surprise." Norman asks how she knew, and Chrissy says that's what she asked for.
Mildred says it's an exciting day tomorrow. She asks if quite a few people are coming.
Chrissy: Just family and poeple we like.
Mildred: I see. I'll be thinking of you, Love.
Norman: But you'll be there.
Mildred: What?
Chrissy: Well, surely Mr. Roper gave you the invitation.
Mildred pretends he did and then excuses herself.
The Joker: George shows a feathered dart to Oscar. "You know a bit about feathers, don't you?" He says the most important thing to remember is to let go of it when you throw it, or you'll hit the dartboard. He says Oscar can appreciate a good joke.
Mildred has returned, so she says we all do (appreciate a good joke). "Shall I tell you one?" She has him sit in the chair, while she sits on the arm. Punctuated by his anticipatory laughter, she tells of a little man whose wife said she was going to break his neck. "I won't attempt the accent." The man asked why she was going to break his neck and his wife said, "Because you didn't tell me you received a wedding invitation." George has stopped laughing. He pulls the invitation out from under his jumper.
A Quick One (While He's Away): The Tripp brothers enter the pub, smoking, and Norman says they'll just have a quick one, as it's traditional. Robin says it's not really right to get stoned (in the drunk sense) out of your mind the night before the wedding.
Norman: I don't plan to.
Robin: But I intend to.
They go to the bar. Robin starts to order two pints of the best bitter, but has to change it to three when he sees Larry.
Larry: Last night before the big drop then?
Norman: It's not an execution. I'm going into it quite willingly.
Larry: Ah, suicide.
Norman laughs.
Larry's offscreen wedding present turns out to be a garden gnome with a fishing rod. Larry thought it was tasteful. Norman notes that there seemed to be a little earth around the base. Larry says, "Well, that's Harrod's for you."
They take their drinks to a table as Mr. Roper comes in and goes to the bar. Robin asks if he has to make a speech. Norman says it'll be just a few words at the reception.
Robin asks for a piece of paper and a pencil. Larry hands him the bill from Harrod's. Robin gives him a "You're kidding" look, and Larry gives him a "That shows you" look back. Robin is surprised when he realises that Larry was telling the truth for once.
Norman says to just mention the couple, how beautiful the bride is, how handsome the groom. "Find your own words." Robin sarcastically says, "Thank you very much."
Writing it down, Robin says, " 'Ladies and gentlemen, family and friends.' " George comes over with a drink and says, "Evening." Robin adds, " 'And Mr. Roper.' " George sits down.
George tells Norman he's going to "your whatshisname" tomorrow. He hopes they'll hurry it up, since he's got this darts match. Norman says he'll bear it in mind.
He's dubious about marriage and says that women can be-- He breaks off and looks round. The other men lean in as he confides that women can be very demanding physically.
George: I'm not putting you off, am I?
Norman: (laughing) No.
George: Oh well, it takes all sorts.
The men all pick up their glasses.
I've Got a Little List: Meanwhile, the girls are on the settee, Mildred in the chair, as they laugh and drink together.
Mildred says George was ever so nervous when they got married. He put the ring on the vicar's finger. "If I hadn't mentioned it, they'd be together yet." This is crazy enough on its own, but combined with the image of Mildred doing up George's fly buttons (revealed on "The Party's Over"), it suggests total chaos. Yet Mildred claims to have enjoyed her own wedding.
Jo asks if Chrissy's nervous. Chrissy says, no, there are only 156 things that can go wrong. She's made a list. Laughing, Jo says, "When my Uncle Cyril got married, his braces snapped and his trousers fell down." Chrissy says, "157."
(On "And Then There Were Two," Jo said that her nephew Cyril was named after a fellow Cyril who was after Uncle Charles. Either she has an Uncle Cyril after all or they've started calling that man "uncle," as in a family friend. Or she and/or the writers can't keep her family members straight.)
It's Late: George is also recalling the wedding. When the vicar said "Speak now" etc., not a soul spoke. "Not a bloody soul."
Norman stands up and wants to go. George says it's Norman's turn to buy a round, but Robin says it's actually George's. So George says, "It is getting late," and leaves.
As Norman leaves, Larry tells him, "Get your head down. It's your last chance for a good night's kip." Then Robin suggests he and Larry have a few more drinks.
Love and Marriage: We return to the lounge, now dark. We hear Robin and Larry singing something. Then Larry sings the line, "Love and Marriage." They come in. Robin shushes Larry and turns on a light. More quietly, Larry sings, "Go together like a railway carriage." Robin says that's horse. Larry says, "Yeah, I am a bit. It's all the singing."
They're leaning on each other, arms around each other. They can barely walk.
Robin wants Larry to see the cake. He says it should be hung up in the Gational Nallery. He goes in the kitchen. Larry drops his cigarettes. He gets on all fours to pick them up. Robin of course trips over him, dropping the cake. There's much audience reaction.
And we go to adverts.
Goin' out of My Head: There's again a close-up of a cake, but this time the groom is headless. The camera backs out to show that this cake is only one layer, which Robin is quickly frosting.
The girls come in wearing their nightclothes. They say good morning. Then they see the cake.
Jo: It's shrunk.
Robin: It's a different cake. It's two jam sponges stuck together.
He tells them that some idiot fell on the other cake, then admits it was him. Chrissy says 158.
Chrissy goes to answer the doorbell. Jo says that the groom's got no head. Robin says, "You noticed that, did you?"
Chrissy's mum arrives with a big white box. She and Chrissy hug hello. Her dad comes in with a dead cockerel, which he hands to her.
Mrs. Plummer says she hates traveling with her back to the engine.
Mrs. Plummer: If God had wanted us to travel backwards, He'd have put our feet the other way round.
Mr. Plummer: At least you can see where you've been.
Mrs. Plummer: I want to see where I've been before I get there.
She asks if Chrissy is nervous, but doesn't give her a chance to reply. She herself is very nervous. Mr. Plummer says that's true. "She tried to milk one of the pigs yesterday."
She wants a quiet word with Chrissy about you-know-what.
Chrissy: About?
Mrs. Plummer: You know.
Chrissy: What?
Mrs. Plummer: That's it.
She has Dudley go to the kitchen.
Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps: Jo tells Robin you can't have a groom with no head. She takes out the prize from a Corn Flakes box and replaces the damaged groom with a figurine of a football player.
Dudley comes in and hands Robin the cockerel. He asks, "Where's this fantastic wedding cake I've been hearing about, eh?" Robin tries to block his view. Dudley says Chrissy told him it was a masterpiece. Then he sees it. Robin says this is the second version. Dudley says perhaps it's as well he didn't see the first.
He asks, "She's not marrying Michael McDonald is she?" I laughed even though I'm not quite sure who that is. (Possibly this man: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_McDonald_(footballer) ) Jo says it's better than a groom with no head. Dudley asks, "Is that the only choice?"
White Wedding: Back in the lounge, Mrs. Plummer says she's not one to fuss. It is Chrissy's day. "But I thought you'd be married in a church." Chrissy says Norman is sort of Agnostic. Her mum asks, "Couldn't you find an Agnostic church?"
She was also hoping that Chrissy would wear white.
Mrs. Plummer: Unless there's a reason you shouldn't.
Chrissy: (amused) What's that supposed to mean?
Mrs. Plummer: Well, nowadays, a lot of you young people, well, you do have a relationship before the wedding ceremony.
Chrissy: Oh, well, I won't have time for that. I've got to get bathed and changed.
Mrs. Plummer: (angrily) I didn't mean immed-- (as Chrissy laughs) Oh, you.
Robin brings them tea. She says, "Bless you, Robin," but then asks if he's going to clean up a bit before the ceremony. He's in his dressing gown, as usual with no pyjama top, so we can see his hairy chest and gold necklace. He says he'll wash, shave, and put on a clean pair of pyjamas.
She wants him to get Norman to the registry office on time. Robin says his brother won't escape him. And he's already whitewashed the shotgun especially for the occasion. She rolls her eyes.
Signs: We next see a sign that reads,
ROYAL BOROUGH OF KENSINGTON
SUPERINTENDENT REGISTRAR ROBIN N. PARKER
REGISTRATION OF BIRTHS, DEATHS & MARRIAGES
MONDAY TO FRIDAY 9.30 A.M. to 4.0 P.M.
SATURDAY BY APPOINTMENT
I love this episode so much, I even love this sign. We again confirm that we're in Kensington. The registrar shares a first name with "our Robin," and his middle name might well be Norman. Not only that, he's actually named after the show's designer, Robin Parker. Some of the punctuation and capitalisation feels random. Why the ampersand? Why "to" in little letters? And is that really how they write four o'clock? (I knew about the period instead of colon thing already.) Finally, what happens if you want to be born, die, or get married on a Sunday? Do you go ahead but just register it on Monday?
The camera backs out and a dark-coloured car pulls up. Norman is driving, as Robin smokes.
Robin: So, what happened to the flashy little sports car, then?
Norman: Oh, that was just for pulling the birds. Well, now that I've pulled one, a little more dignity is called for.
They get out of the car.
The Waiting: Their parents are on a settee in the waiting room. She's crying into her handkerchief. She's played by Hilda Kriseman, whom I noted at the time was on MatH15. As the only newbie among the performers playing parents, she's not given a lot to do besides cry, but she does it well.
Mr. Tripp tells her to give it a rest.
Mr. Tripp: The lad's got to get married sometime. He can't be happy all his life.
Mrs. Tripp: He's so young!
Mr. Tripp: Young? Up North, he'd have eight kids by this time. And two of them in a raincoat factory.
(This amuses me, even though it means Norman would be married before he's 16. I figure Robin is 25 max at this point, making Norman 27.)
Their sons enter. Norman kisses his mum hello. Norman is in a dark suit with a tan shirt and a red carnation. Robin's suit is tan, while his shirt is dark. He, and all the other men, wear white carnations.
Sobbing, Mrs. Tripp says, "I'm so happy for you!" Norman says they could hear her being happy all the way down the hall.
Robin: Hello, Mum.
Mrs. Tripp: Oh, Robin, my baby!"
She hugs him.
Mr. Tripp tells Norman that she's been going on like that every since they left the hotel. The carpets in their car are soaking wet.
The Ropers enter, followed by Jo and Larry. Mildred is in a pink dress, a white hat with a pink flower, and white heels with straps. Jo is wearing a red pantsuit with a white turtleneck and a blue scarf. Larry is in a checked suit. And George is in a forgettable dark suit.
Norman introduces the Ropers to his parents. They shake hands. Mr. Tripp asks George, "Friend of the bride?" George says, "No, we're not friends of anybody." Mr. Tripp is confused.
Larry shakes his hand and introduces himself as "Larry, mate of Robin's. So you're the condemned man's father, eh?" Mr. Tripp says that's right, and he and Jo say hello to each other.
Mr. Tripp: Well, if we're all here then.
Jo: Don't you think we might need a bride?
Mr. Tripp: Good idea.
His wife sobs and he tells her to pull herself together.
At his suggestion, they all sit. The door of Mr. R. N. Parker opens and he says, "Mr. Tripp?" All three Messrs. Tripp stand and say, "Yes?" He means the one who's getting married.
Norman: Oh, that's me, but I'm not all here yet. I mean, I, we are not all here yet.
Mr. Parker: When you are, do come in.
He goes back in his room. He's played by Dennis Ramsden, who would have a couple roles each on Robin's Nest and George & Mildred.
Norman says, "She does know where it is, doesn't she?" Robin says it was on the invitiation. Norman says they didn't send her one. Jo says Chrissy will be here. As Chrissy comes in, followed by her parents, Norman wonders if she could be lost. Jo says, "I don't know. Why don't you ask her?"
Chrissy wears an ecru peasant-style dress with big sleeves and flowered embroidery. She doesn't have a veil, but there are flowers in her hair. She's also holding a pink bouquet. She's smiling. Her father is in a suit of course. And her mother has a blue dress and a big blue hat.
Everyone stands and admires Chrissy. Taking her hand, Norman says, "Oh, marvelous." He and Chrissy say hello to each other and he kisses her cheek.
Norman: You came then?
Chrissy: I thought I'd better, in case you started without me.
Norman escorts Chrissy to a door, but it's the broom cupboard. His father says, "You're going on just like our Robin." We cut to Robin looking insulted.
Norman then escorts Chrissy to the door his father indicates. Everyone follows them in. Mrs. Roper tells her husband to behave himself and not fidget. She finds the dart in his breast pocket. He says he might still make it to the tournament. She tells him, "Get in there!"
I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do: Everyone has sat down in the registry office or is about to. Chrissy and Norman are in the front two chairs, facing the table where Mr. Parker stands.
As he and Robin come in, Larry says, "So this is where you get married. It always looked different in me nightmares."
Pointing at Mrs. Tripp, Mrs. Plummer tells her husband, "I'm determined I'm not going to cry." He says, "I'll do it for you. I'm paying for this lot. I'm not losing a daughter, I'm gaining an overdraft."
Mr. Parker has Norman and Chrissy stand. They shake hands with him. Then he asks them to excuse his eyes watering. It's not emotion. He has a head cold.
Robin and Jo stand in the background, I assume as witnesses, although Jo is probably maid of honour. And Robin is of course best man.
Mr. Parker starts the ceremony, punctuated by blowing his nose. Then the scene dissolves.
Norman is now facing Chrissy as she repeats the vows. Neither of them has a middle name.
George is falling asleep, but Mildred is crying a little.
Mr. Parker asks for the rick, meaning the ring, since he's congested. Robin steps over and reaches into his waistcoast pockets, but the ring has gone through the lining. He takes off his coat. Chrissy says 159. He tears his waistcoat and the ring falls out. Everyone but him and Chrissy look for the ring.
Robin: (to Chrissy) Sorry, there was a hole in it.
Chrissy: That was for my finger to go through.
Mr. Tripp finds the ring and hands it to Robin, who says, "Oh, thank you." Norman comes back, but Robin is now standing next to Chrissy. Mr. Parker says, "Now, if you'll place the ring on the bride's finger." Robin starts to, so Norman says, "Not you, me!" The audience is very amused. Norman puts the ring on Chrissy's finger.
The registrar sneezes as he congratulates them. Norman and Chrissy kiss. And the scene dissolves.
Cuts Like a Knife: We cut to Norman and Chrissy cutting the cake. Her dad takes a picture with a flash camera. Robin apologises about the ring, and the cake. Chrissy says she quite likes jam sponge. Norman says they'll look back on this and laugh, eventually.
Mr. Tripp prompts Robin to say a few words. Robin breaks his glass when he taps it with a knife. Chrissy takes the glass.
Robin says he's written a speech, but perhaps it's better if he speaks straight from the heart. He hands his speech to his dad. He says he's known Chrissy and Norman for some time. He flounders. His dad hands the speech back. He says, "Well, long life and happiness. Well, that's about it, really. Well, cheers." Everyone raises their glass.
George hopes to still make it to the tournament. Mildred says, "You are staying!" He says the team is relying on him, if three other fellows don't turn up.
Larry makes Robin leave with him.
Mr. Tripp and Jo are sitting on the settee together.
Mr. Tripp: Your turn next, Love. I, er, don't suppose you fancy our Robin, do you?
Jo: Well, he's very nice, but he's a bit scatter-brained.
Mr. Tripp: Takes after his mother.
Mrs. Tripp is now drinking and laughing in the middle of the group.
Like a Virgin: Larry and Robin are decorating a dark car, with cans and the usual "just married" stuff. Robin is hesitant but Larry says it's tradition.
Upstairs, Chrissy just hands Jo the bouquet, but then Jo is the only single woman there. Chrissy and Norman are about to leave, because as he says, Scotland's a long way, even at 70 mph.
Mrs. Plummer pulls Chrissy aside and says she mustn't worry if it isn't perfect the first time.
Chrissy: Yes, I remember.
Mrs. Plummer: Hm?
Chrissy: I remember you telling me.
She giggles.
Her dad squeezes her shoulder as he says goodbye. Then they hug. Mr. Tripp says, "I haven't had my kiss yet, from the blushing bride." He gives her a peck on the cheek. Larry says to Robin, "Just in time, eh?", as they 've apparently just returned. He also gives Chrissy a peck on the cheek.
Chuckling, George says, "My turn now." He gives her a peck, too. Mildred tells Jo, "Done with his usual passion." Jo smiles and nods.
Robin and Chrissy smile at each other, a bit shyly. He comes over and takes both her hands. He says, "Well, what can I say?" She shrugs. He gives her a peck on the lips. Then they kiss again, and after a couple seconds she puts her arms around him.
Jo, Norman, and the Ropers look on, stunned. Robin is holding Chrissy tight, and they sway a little. The audience laughs.
Norman comes over and gently grips Chrissy's hand that's on Robin's shoulder. The kiss stops after 22 seconds. Norman says, "Um, I hate to break this up, but that's my Mrs. Tripp. And I'd like her with me on the honeymoon." Robin has an "Oh, right" expression. Chrissy just smiles contentedly.
The End: Everyone comes down the exterior steps. Chrissy hugs her mum. Mrs. Roper gives Norman a peck, then hugs Chrissy.
Larry tells Robin, "This'll be a giggle. Wait till you see their faces."
Chrissy waves goodbye and then clasps Robin's hand. She hugs Jo.
Chrissy and Norman go to another dark car. Larry and Robin are surprised. They look over at the car they decorated. The audience laughs a lot. Norman and Chrissy drive off, past the other car. Mr. Tripp looks angry, and it might be his car.
The credits show the wedding party posed on the steps: Jo, Norman, Chrissy, and Robin at the bottom; Larry and the Ropers in the middle; and the parents in the back.
The credits end with "THE END," in case there was any doubt.
Think:
Chrissy: It's typical of a Man About, they make you think that the RCST is over and Robin doesn't fancy me anymore, and then he gives me a tremendous snog in the end.
Robin: I seem to remember you kissing me back with enthusiasm.
Larry: Eh? Her end? Your back?
Robin: (ignoring him) It's quite clear that you were only marrying my brother because I didn't speak up in time.
Chrissy: I'll have you know I was very happy with Norman.
Robin: Yeah, for a few months. Then you turned up as a single mum with a baby!
Chrissy: That wasn't me. That was Paula. And anyway, you're the one who rebounded into that fling with Vicky the next January.
Robin: (indignantly) Fling! I bloody well ended up married with twins!
Chrissy: All while pining for me, very sad.
Jo: Listen, you two, you're ignoring the important thing.
Robin & Chrissy: What's that?
Jo: That I get to wear the unisexiest bridesmaid outfit on television before lesbians started marrying each other in the '90s. And I get to bond with Robin's father.
Robin: That's two things.
Chrissy: And anyway, I'd put my teasing my mum ahead of that.
Robin: What about my brother and my father belittling me again? Great character development.
Larry: What about all the bits about tradition and how those blow up in our faces?
Jo: Like the pop-up toaster. Are there toasters that don't pop up?
Robin: And like Chrissy's damn virginity.
Larry: (muttering) Yeah, well.
Chrissy: I think that was rather liberated of me to not cop to one or the other. The viewer doesn't know what sort of "relationship" Norman and I have before the wedding night.
Mildred: At least you had one after the wedding, Love.
Helen: At least you were invited to the wedding. Stanley and I were long forgotten by the time Janet married whatshisname.
Stanley: Thurston Howell IV. (She looks at him.) What? The Harlem Globetrotters on Gilligan's Island was on after Name That Tune one night. Anyway, George is right, we didn't have to fork out for a wedding present.
Helen: But what about poor little Chrissy? I mean Amer-Chrissy. She didn't get invited to Janet's wedding either. (Cut to Amer-Chrissy crying on the telephone. Cut back to everyone else sitting/standing around the flat.)
Jack: (shrugging) Hey, neither did Janet's family. (Janet hits him.)
Brit-Chrissy: (guiltily) I forgot to invite my sister and her husband.
Norman: How do you think I feel? I apparently have no friends of my own.
George: It was getting too crowded anyway. I'd have been happy to have sat it out meself.
Mildred: George!
Amer-Larry: I still say that you would've been better off streaking than doing the "just married" stuff. (Everyone looks at him.) What? Weren't we talking about tradition just now?
Brit-Larry: Streaking? You know that's not a bad idea.
David Bell: That was a beautiful wedding cake, Robin.
Robin: Thank you.
David: Of course, since I wasn't clumsy, I wouldn't have smashed it like that.
Sam: Yeah, but you took off long before I got married.
Jenny: Hey, Everyone, no fighting. Remember, we're back in April '76. Chrissy and Norman are going off on their fabulous Scottish honeymoon. David's still living with us on our unsold pilot. Janet and Amer-Chrissy are living with that Eleanor, who hasn't yet conceived, and, what was I saying?
Oscar: Tweet!
Janet: Jack, I'm sorry things didn't work out with Vicky. (to Robin) His Vicky.
Jack: (shrugging) Well, a year is longer than any of my other relationships, except for Linda. (to Robin) My Linda.
Robin: I got six series out of my Vicky. Well, and the twins.
Chrissy: That's typical of a man, always thinking of what he gets out of a girl.
Larry: (leering) More like what he gets in her.
Mildred: Except for George.
Helen: And Stanley.
Stanley: (not understanding) Well, our spin-off ran for over a year.
George: No stamina, Son. I lasted three years. And a movie.
Mildred: That's true. We would've gone on longer, but poor Yootha. (Shakes her head.) A litre of brandy a day! Can you imagine?
George: (getting choked up and trying to hide it) Damn woman!
Chrissy: That's typical of a man, always blaming--
Robin: Say, Chrissy, do you fancy a bit of the you-know-what?
Chrissy: What?
Robin: You know.
Chrissy: Oh. Well, what year is this?
Robin: Let's say 1990.
Chrissy: Yeah, why not? I'm between television programmes at the moment. I mean Paula is. (Robin is stunned at her consent, but not so stunned that he doesn't follow her to the kitchen on the way towards her old bedroom.)
Jo: I wonder whatever became of me. I hope I got a last name eventually.
THE END
